Desert Island Dicks - MORGAN REES

Episode Date: December 6, 2023

Comedian Morgan Rees joins James to share who and what he'd hate to be stuck with on a desert island Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi, I'm James Deacon and welcome to Desert Island Dicks, the shows that sees you marooned on a desert island after a plane crash with the worst people and worst things imaginable. Who they are and why they're a dick is up to our guest. And here to share their desert island dicks with us today is stand-up comedian, writer and actor Morgan Rees. Hello, Morgan. Hello, how are you doing? I'm fine, thanks. How are you? I'm a bit gutted to be obviously stranded

on this awful plane crash. I never thought it would happen. No, I know. You don't anticipate it because everyone tells you that it's the safest way to travel right yeah no not when i'm on board why do you say that i well i i am well i i'm fine but i do like it is a ritual now i gotta have a drink before boarding the flight what about you oh yeah yeah yeah take the edge off regardless of it and i i'm a pilot but but but no but is it like does it matter what time of the day as well for me it's like doesn't matter well it's always like stupid o'clock that you're you

have to get to the airport so your flights are like eight and so you've got to be there at six but like weatherspoons is open do you know what i? And so even if you're like not in the mood for a Guinness, you could always just get a Bloody Mary or something. You've got to have something. Yeah, no, I get it. Cause I get the same as well with regards to,

cause my, my drink of choice is a Guinness. I just love an airport Guinness. Me too. For some reason, I have to have Guinness in an Irish pub or any airport. That's my criteria for it. I'm the same.

I love a Guinness too. And recently I've had to do the gluten-free thing, which is really annoying. But if I'm in a pub, I just can't help myself. Do you know what I mean? I just can't not have a Guinness. I'm new to London, so it's now on the hunt for good guinness pubs now we're more moving into guinness weather as well as i'm giddy i'm excited for it okay so uh how did you find choosing the people and things for desert island morgan um a little tough because there's very few

people i hate i'm mr post therapy so like i'm all about letting go I'm all about not holding grudges and there are just some proper evil people in the world and you just go well the people I hate are evil they're not dickheads it almost feels like an understatement to call that bloody

Putin he's a bit of a dickhead isn't he you're right it's such a weird label to put on someone like that. Because I've got best friends that are dickheads. I've got friends I won't introduce to other friends because they shouldn't meet

and they're a dickhead. But yeah, it hasn't been too difficult. It hasn't been too... I know that there are other sections but the people wise were too too tough to be honest okay okay okay so on that note who's going to be your first choice for the desert island first choice of desert island i kind of regret choosing this person because i chose them while i was at home visiting my parents and i should say this person i totally agree with 99.9 of what they say

it's just what they're the figurehead of and that is james o'brien oh wow wow okay yeah yeah yeah he is so on it he's so great he's so this but i hold such reservations for people that portray themselves as Mr. Right or I have all the answers and also you just go oh history dictates you're a rodent so the chances are the chances are it's not all as it seems

I agree with about everything he says and also I think what happened was and i tell you what this i don't think he's a dick at all i do you know he's on lbc isn't he yeah and uh i think i i have very difficult uh feelings about that channel he's gone leading and they're really proud of it as well of going like leading Britain's conversation you just go I've heard the conversations on that yeah

and you just go the last thing I would want is people thinking I'm leading them it's a shame it's almost like it's where he's ended up and because he's got such a following they would never get rid of him they obviously love it but it just doesn't completely seem like the right fit no and i do i like it because obviously you know it's the whole thing

is balanced isn't it because they have some right right wingers they have some left wingers but also it's the fact that and it's not his fault i should say that he's uh he's been lumped in with this lot it's the fact that my parents love him they adore him and you know you just rebel against whatever your parents are into it's just that okay right oh you should have seen this thing james o'brien had the other day oh you should have heard this person called and they were so stupid it's like that's because they only get the stupid people on the fords because it's like it's just an angry fight it's an anger machine isn't it that's all lbc is yeah yeah and it's it's it's just it's not there it's not a place for debate is it it's a place

it's just to get everybody wound up yeah it is it is it's like they're just whoever's producing those shows just in no not that cooler, know that, oh, okay, you're going to fire everyone up. Right, get them on air, quick. Yeah, who has the most non-delicate, ham-fisted, ill-educated argument that we can turn into a soundbite? Wicked.

James, nutter on line one. Nutter on line one, quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah what I mean yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh this guy thinks we should build a wall around London

let's get them in yeah this person thinks we should privatise baby milk or whatever you know quick get them on yeah

oh my god you're right you're right it does like it does a similar thing to like um someone mentioned on here the other day jeremy vine show like um like the callers that they get on it's just like obviously they could get loads of people on that have like got a great opinion or like um a really good argument for their point they don't they're like this is gonna

this is gonna cause complete chaos get them. Yeah, because that's the thing. He's just another face of that sort of stoking the fire machine, which is really disappointing because I think he's great. But it is just that I think there's so much division. Well, I take that back. I don't think there's as much division in the country. I think most people just want to get on with their lives. And if your life doesn't affect mine,

happy days, but that doesn't really sell papers. Does it? Yeah. It's not, it's not you would your parents listen if they didn't get that person on every week. I mean,

yeah, I don't know whether we, I listened into this radio show the other day and everyone was agreeing and sort of realizing we all had differences but it's usually due to different upbringings or stuff that no one's tuning into that no no no one wants that i mean it'd be great maybe we should do it maybe that's the show maybe that's the thing and it's like um what was that film with eddie murphy where everyone tunes into the God channel because he just makes you feel good about yourself? Yeah.

Oh, I know the one you mean, but yeah, but that's the thing. It's just the face of, I'm so sick and tired. They know that it's the cultural wars thing at the moment, isn't it? It's that we have many things that unite us, but unfortunately we spend all the time arguing about the things that divide us.

Yeah, it's so true. I think it's a good choice. I have never listened to his podcast, but apparently it's good. I bet it's brilliant. All I get is on TikTok is the LBC things firing up. Well, that's my fault

because it's me being my parents. it's me being my parents it's me being a complete hypocrite ah look at these look at these idiots look at these idiots like share send of course they can't send them my way obviously you're an idiot you need you need a tiktok cleansing i feel like you need to just watch some like quite like wholesome non-lbc videos and get that algorithm sorted out oh they've got they've i'm i'm right under their thumb i'm right under their thumb i the new was it the news agents they're bang they're every other clip oh yeah everything i've got i can't believe people have opinions like this i'm a complete hypocrite i'm

parents through and through, and that's why I retaliated and put in the person they love on this island. That's great. Okay, yes. Also, quite a difficult character to deal with on the desert island, I imagine, right? I think so. He'd be just trying to sit at a desk,

trying to, where's all the other voices? Where's all the other voices? They're all in here, James. They're all in here, like the rest of us okay james o'brien i think that's right isn't it james o'brien that's how you say it i think so yeah i'm sure yeah uh james o'brien a fantastic first choice who's going to be your second choice well this is the one thing that i wanted to give loads of context around the fact that i don't because they these people are not equals for the next person i want to put in is nigel farage okay yeah absolutely despise him with everything in my being it's and the fact that like oh as we look i think at the moment he is arriving in Australia, is he not, to most likely be on I'm a Celeb.

Yeah. And just, I get it. He's good. He's going to be good value on that thing because people are going to hate watch it. Exactly that. I was just talking about those LBC clips. Everyone's going to hate watch it.

Exactly. Well, obviously my thing all distills down to Brexit. Speaking as a Welshman, speaking as a welshman from the valleys which is not to get on any sort of i grew up really really well um not really well versed but of a over toned knowledge of uh european handed out in wales because 30 of wales is under the poverty line we used to get loads of eu handouts and the only reason i know this is because my mum's job was helping distribute eu funds all right to impoverished areas of wales and and it was really rewarding and it was so great seeing these seeing these facilities seeing seeing everything open up because of eu funding and then all of a sudden

bang gone gone for all and we know all the all the reasons why this that the other we were all tired tropes now but i know it's a broken record but he was the spearhead of it and every time i see him i just god just and the fact he's so smug about it because he is our trump because nothing will stick on him nothing will stick on him. Nothing will stick on him. I know, I know. It's bonkers. And also, like, for someone with actually, genuinely so little real power, he managed to have so much influence at the time.

It was crazy. Don't get me wrong. It's a really impressive feat, or fascinating feat, maybe, rather than impressive, what he's accomplished as a man with zero power isn't it he he was not really in politics he was never was he ever elected possibly once i don't think i don't well maybe but not that i remember i don't know i don't know he was an mep wasn't he so like aka the european government but not uh the british oh yes he was yeah but he just he's had such and it's that it is the smugness and knowing that nothing will nothing nothing will stick on him nothing will and then the fact that when bad things do happen to him he is so quick

to play the victim card right yeah yeah some some absolutely bonkers stuff has happened to him though because i guess if you put yourself out like that in the foreign land, wasn't he in a plane crash? I'm sorry I've seen a picture of him covered in blood, which is like, I mean, that, for one, is bizarre. I mean, was the pilot on a camera closet, was he trying to do us all a favour? I don't know.

You've crashed on Desert Island, he's been through it it before that's the reason why i've got him on i was like he fucking knows how to get out of this survivor yeah yeah but then there was the whole milkshake incident right someone took a milkshake to his face and uh very odd very odd man oh but in the fact that like the fact that people he's a bit katie hopkins-esque in the fact that being hated is their fuel they don't hate being hated they love being hated because that is just another form of attention and oh i'm being spoken about that's what you see about with all these um uh all these controversial anger uh people are just pumping out you just go you don't believe this you you're too clever to believe this yeah this is just scratching some really toxic warp thing like i'm i'm on the telly i'm on the telly unfortunately

i gotta say all babies are racist or something but but or just like just some bonkers things that people don't agree with or yeah yeah i mean nadine doris has recently gotten that slipstream right she'd like to see her name in the headlines every week and so she would just like come out with some absolute dross supporting boris johnson or whatever it is you you know. Yeah, it's just, and I just hate, well, obviously he's of that ilk now, but what he's done to the country and obviously he wasn't the only person with that, but it's the head up, shoulders back, big old grin, nothing touches me, you can try.

Yeah, well, and then... Part of Nigel Farage. You can try. Yeah. Well, and then. Part of Nigel Farage. I think you're right. Yeah. And like the man of the people. He's always got. I can always imagine he's got a pint in his hand. He's the conservative man's man with a pint.

I mean, he's in the pub all the time. He's that bloke with the war stories. He's like really marked himself to be that guy. And now he's going on Iron Celebrity and wasn't it reported today that he's got 1.5 million pounds or something yeah I think it's the most anyone's ever been paid for it it's outrageous

but that's the thing he's just a magnet of all this bonkers stuff, all this mad stories, and they just keep on coming his way. I'm lost for words at how much I hate him. I wholeheartedly agree. And also, can I just say,

it's not as if Nigel Farage hasn't come up on this podcast before, but I feel like you've put your point across so eloquently. I would say it was up there with the best. That was really, really spot on. Okay. So Nigel Farage is going to be your second choice. Is there anything else about Nigel Farage before we put him on the Desert Island? I think everything

that needs to be said about him is said about him. Right. And who's going to be your third choice for the Desert Island? This is a group of people if that's not too vague but these people my third choice is anyone that holidays in dubai this is good this is really good i'll be honest i talk about it a little bit in my show but good god i everyone i know that holidays in dubai is an absolute dickhead and i'm not i'm not i'm not saying that they've got people that are from dubai going back to dubai or people with

family in dubai going to dubai people that go oh do you know i'd love dubai you just go oh it's so shit have you been yeah well i got i got a really good treatment as well because I actually knew someone that worked for the Sheikh who put us out. But just seeing, it's just all the same. Okay, yeah. What do you mean put us out? What are you talking about, put us out? They flew, we flew over and we got to be around

in the desert dunes, moving around Abu Dhabi and Dubai and all this sort of stuff. But now I hear it out loud. It's insane. It is insane. Did you do a comedy show there? No. No, I was about 20.

And there was a guy at uni who said, oh, my dad flies a plane. And I went, OK. We go, yeah, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. And then it turns out, oh, he's the private pilot for the shake we all went out there and they were just got put up and then we got there and uh our mate guys took us around and all this sat the other and it was i tell you what it was fun for about a day but otherwise dubai is just a city set but i describe it as slug and lettuce with an ego wow i think it's so rubbish it's just a big city center this sort of uh western supermall paradise in the middle of a

desert and all people all people do for me dubai is it's not about having a good time it's about signaling your wealth and it's just go well that's not that you're not having a good time. It's about signaling your wealth. And it's just go, well, that's not, you're not having a good time there because you've taken too many photos. Well, that's the thing, yeah. That's all I've seen because it's just social media. It's like, it's just, you go for your Instagram pictures in the sun, right?

I don't understand. It's not even fun sun. It's not good sun it starts like oh god we went for a straw a little bit on the it's it's 40 50 degrees you cook it you could cook an egg in it you know what i mean but people are i remember when i was there people were screaming running across the sand into the sea that they get so hot you're not allowed outside. That's not a holiday. That's a holiday. That's intense. Yeah.

Remember that movie, The Call, where they just have to go down in the train down to the core of the earth? That's what that is. It's not, that can't be fun. I don't know if the rules have changed, but like, isn't it that like, you can only really like have fun, drink, parties and stuff that only happens

in the hotels it's like a technicality or something yeah they're sort of like designated places so it's not like so i love barcelona i know i'll end up in barcelona i adore but you just go that's beaten sun and you know there's a gay beach and a straight beach and everyone's having a great time and you know bodies are allowed to know and not even in like a sort of um pp tom sort of way it's just it's nice and free and there's no yeah there's no overly predatory like uh vibes it's just a good city good vibes you go that's holiday and you're you're surrounded by history and even if you don't want to do the history there's parties there's festivals yeah you go to dubai you just go i'm i'm i'm partying in the hotel for a week i'll just take two photos outside and also as a queer man as well i mean like

i'm not you know oh respect other cultures i'm not going to respect your culture if i can't hold my boyfriend's hand yeah no no no no even that you sort of just go oh well it's just rubbish isn't it yeah that is yeah the worst when i see queer people enjoying it out there you just no okay right yeah i mean so like when when you say you see queer people out there like they'll have to like hide their themselves right yeah can you yeah i believe so i don't i'm i'm sure there's there's places people go that are very well coordinated and uh undercover sort of thing but uh you've got the risk of like being imprisoned for life yeah big time i don't know it just doesn't seem fun to me it just like it's so restrictive and like like you said it's too hot to be outside you're only allowed to have fun in the hotel which

is like unless you're staying in some incredible hotel with a lot of options you want to get out and do something do you know i mean there's only so many taxis to a different hotel that you can do it's stupid and it's not even that you walk around like the old town and get to know the history of the place it's it's all brand new it's it's it's it's just it's things made in the made in the middle of the desert just this whole tax-free we did the burj khalifa the tallest building in the world we went up to the top and you just go oh yeah more sand you know did you go up to the top and you didn't just see sand for ages it's mad it's made of wood. The platform that you stand out of, the highest tech building I think I've ever been in.

You go up, I think, 150-something floors, maybe even more, in a matter of seconds, and the whole building is high-tech. You go to face print, scan, get your face scans again in. Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop, zoom. You go up to the top. It's just this wooden platform was it terrifying it was a little bit you sort of get used to it you just it's almost sort of like

oh well if anything happens i'm dead you know i i you know it's painless i i did but you know this is all wooden i never thought i would be at the highest point in the world man-made and get a splinter you know it's just yeah it's true but you're caged in right you must be caged in yeah you are there is a little gap that you can stick your phone out of and take photos and all that. No, no, thank you. Not today, Satan. No, no, no.

I'm not interested in that. Imagine if you dropped it and killed someone at the bottom. I think so, yeah. Okay, so the people that go there specifically, like, how is that an ambition? Do you know what I mean? Why are you saving your hard-earned to go out there and do that for me personally it does sort of betray all british core holiday values

because to me british core holiday values are sun booze debauchery who goes sun booze debaortree? Hmm, the United Arab Emirates. I mean, yeah. It wouldn't top my list. No, and I'm sure if you're just a history buff, there's some phenomenal places, but it's not Dubai. No, no, it's true. If you like partying, you can't take anything.

You can just about drink there. Yeah, yeah. Surely, like, if you want to go do that, like, go clubbing and that, Ibiza is a lot nearer. Lovely weather, lovely people, and an absolutely bonkers debauched time, should you wish for that. So that's what I think it ultimately is.

I think it's about signaling wealth, which to me always makes me a bit icky i don't mind having nice things you know to get a good coat you've got to spend money on a good coat don't you but it's about signaling like oh i can afford to be in dubai so you yes it's just a status thing it's a status thing more than anyone else like around where i live there's a lot of country lanes, right? But families are buying the biggest Land Rover you could imagine. It's not convenient for anyone, especially for them here, but it's about the status, right? You're back, yeah.

Sorry about that. Oh, sorry. That's all right. But I know exactly what you mean because i come from them i come from i come from the countryside as well so it is that it's yeah that signaling of wealth always makes me feel uncomfortable yes i'm with you okay good choice people that holiday in dubai at least on the desert island because we're imagining it'll be hot uh if they've been holidaying in Dubai,

they'd be used to being outside in 40, 50 degree heat, right? Yes. One redeeming feature, if any. Morgan, thank you very much. Now, mercifully, among the wreckage of the plane, there was some food and drink left over. Unfortunately for you, it's your least favourite food and drink in the world.

What are they and why are they so bad? Oh, the first one is so bad and but i don't know why because it again i'm such a hypocrite on paper i would love it turkish delight i really dislike turkish delight just i don't like it at all either yeah just i have no idea what it is i think possibly part of it is the mystery of what it is i can't have nothing i know is properly that purple and it just it's it's it i would love to describe it but it's been so long since i've had it i i can't really put my put my tongue on it per se i remember just feeling when i think when i cast myself back to it i just remember like a really full body sense of oh what's this and then underneath a questioning i know what you mean and it's got like it's the flavor is like it's like a perfumey flavor over

anything else i mean it doesn't taste like fruit or whatever you expect it to. Yeah. And my boyfriend is, I was about to say at the moment, he's always Indian. But that has occasionally, because it's a lot of cardamom, a lot of rose,

a lot of this sort of stuff. So I'm sort of getting possibly used to that almost perfumey sort of flavor and the things but you just go i like turkish food i love delight i best like turkish delight and you have it and you go oh what the fuck is this i agree i agree i just like i've tried i've tried and tried again. Like I've been in Turkish restaurant, it's come round and I'm like, I'll give it a go.

And every time, strange disappointment and like a very odd way to finish a delicious meal, I feel like. Yeah, no, because I know it was

because the close seconds were going to be like aniseed. I hate aniseed, which is always a very, a particularly, I remember my this my family were like no sweets you can't have sweets no as in the house if you're out and about occasionally treat yourself but no sweets in the house the only people that would have sweets are

my grandparents but they would only have those aniseed ones oh wow so uh licorice all sorts so it would just be like like like oh my god i've got to have something yeah just my overriding child in me was like you must consume the sugar but then just my inner critic going i hate aniseed oh wow yeah i yeah i agree with aniseed definitely i don't like that at all but um i remember being younger and there was like aniseed balls that you could get from the sweet shop and everyone was like i'm gonna get aniseed balls it was like i called it like if you could handle eating the aniseed balls and i was like yeah i'll get some of those and i just remember

eating them disgusting um imagine as well you open't wait. Imagine as well, you open the cargo hold of that plane and you're like, surely there's some food. Surely there's something I can eat in here. And it's just a mound of Turkish delight. Yeah, there'd be so much of it as well. It'd be disgusting. Like, gift shop Turkish delight.

And I guess maybe you could make from all the foil from the sweets, you could then make yourself a makeshift sort of like sleeping bag from all the foil from the sweets, you could then make yourself a makeshift sleeping bag from all that foil. Wow, that's very ingenious. I know. I'm only thinking about that now. God, I'm smart with a run-up. Okay.

Turkish Delight. I agree with Turkish Delight. I can't get on board with that I don't know what it is I don't understand that at all and what's going to be your drinks choice oh whiskey and everything about me everyone would think oh like I because I do like a drink I'm a bit of a bit of a like a sturdy bloke this or rugby boy and that sort of stuff but I just can't just everything't every time I taste whiskey it's like I'm having my first sip

of alcohol again I agree that tastes horrible I don't have the palate that picks up notes or tones or hints so to me it's just like is it always supposed to go to the back of the me it's just like is it always supposed to go the back of the throat

it's just that burns yeah it's just it's that petrally i just i can't get on board with it at all like the flavor of it is disgusting and people have offered me lovely whiskeys i've been at friends house and they're like do you like whiskey and i'm like no they're like you've really got to try this one it's like a 30 year old age cask something and you're like no they're like you've really got to try this one it's like a 30 year old age cask something and you're like you're like oh well maybe this is the one maybe like that's something special about this wooden whiskey that i'm gonna like yeah i just can't get i just can't do it it's horrible it's such a waste of money someone getting me a whiskey i can't do it i know and i feel so terrible because like that sort of that whole spiel and bollocks is

right up my street that oh it's cast in this wood for so long it was cast in like this oak that you can only find in california in a certain region and it's been kept in these conditions in a dark cellar for minus 37 degrees for 37 years because it has to have that amount of time and it's actually at that time the spores are just like yeah i'm like oh yeah yeah yeah and you taste it and you're just like oh i'm you know petrol station is it that's all i'm getting yeah i i'm the same as you i get suckered in like we went to the guinness um storehouse have you been there in dublin yeah i adore it when you go around and i'm like my family like james come on and i'm just stood there and i'm reading every plaque i'm

like exactly the same i'm like oh he did what when yes oh that's the fermentation process talk to me again do you know what I mean yeah I love the Guinness storehouse it was so good and it was I was on holiday with my ex there we had a riot old argument that morning and like it was an argument that should like should have lasted 48 hours that sort of level of argument but the moment i was in there just i was a child and i was so happy and they were so furious at me being happy and i'm just skipping along going like oh my god they changed the color scheme in the 70s but i'm the same as you that so we're both getting sucked in ideally, you're in Dublin

you should be trying the whisky you should be giving that a go but I just can't do it Edinburgh, no, can't do the whisky tour the harshness of it just overrides any sort of flavour that I've heard rumours

exist in whisky nothing nothing you have to water it down you know definitely and adult squash Morgan now fortunately you won't be without entertainment on the island the planes entertainment system continues to work but just your luck it only has two working settings one is your least favorite film of all time and the other is your least favorite song what are they and why ah no well they're my my most unfavorite song it's by one of my favorite artists but i just hate this on uptown girl by billy joel God, I hate Uptown Girl. So rubbish. Uptown Girl. I hate it so much. Do you love Billy Joel?

I really like Billy Joel. I play piano and I just loved it. I thought his voice was superb. I think I underrated his voice. I love his piano playing. I love his songs, which is Uptown Girl. I don't know what butt this presses in my head. I think underrated his voice. I love his piano playing. I love his songs, which is uptown girl. I don't know what butt this presses in my head. I hate it.

He's got some great songs. It's the cheesiness of it. It's the doo-wop that you just imagine them walking into the diner. I don't know. Yeah. Is that nothingness? that you just imagine them walking into the into the diner yeah

it's like nothingness who was it that brought out a version in like the 90s do you remember? it wasn't blue was it or was it like Westlife or someone I think it might be Westlife

I think it was Westlife I think it's Westlife or one of them yeah I think it's Westlife actually but yeah I just hate it's a uptown girl I just

I think I don't know what it is I know it's very much almost like a very 60s vibe isn't it

like you've got to go this is a song about getting the girl just go oh

oh yeah right okay is I think I getting the girl. I just go, oh. Oh yeah, right, okay. I think I just find it so, I think it's just, I find it so cringe and cheesy rather than anything about the music itself. It's probably,

I bet I scratched the surface and it's a textbook amazing song, but I just find it so cringe. It's really difficult when it's an artist that you like and they release a song that is just like embarrassing or like like you can't get behind but you are so behind that artist do you know what i mean when it's someone that you love and then they just do something like that it's just it's disappointing yeah i don't it probably doesn't even portray any of it on any of his sort of like

oh this is my usual tone, this is my detrimental you know da da da da da it just felt so like I wish I could put into words it's an unjustified trigger I come from a family of people that have unjustified triggers

yeah my mum hates Leonardo DiCaprio and can't watch anything he's in and he just got why yeah he's got why that's why i just don't just don't i grew i grew up with um the reasoning for everything that i would challenge is that's why it would be that's why it was the running theme of my child child why can't we do that that's why there was just that's why that's it yeah that's why that's what my parents used to say about everything but to me it deviated from the point but just like everyone like like my granddad couldn't watch anything with Meryl Streep in, because she kept on going,

no, Meryl Streep. And you go, what's she done? And I just don't like her. I just don't like her. And I think, nothing. She's done, I would say, I'm happy to have on record, Meryl Streep has done nothing to my granddad.

And he knows nothing about her either either but he can't watch a thing that she's in that's wild that is so funny i'm like i i i understand it though there's some people that just wind you up and you're just like it's like for me it's richard hammond yeah i know i can i can understand that that makes perfect sense yeah okay fine okay i'll tell you i can get behind this i think yeah a lot of nothingness going on in this song and like yeah the sentiment is odd um i feel the crushing disappointment of being on the desert island and only having this one song by an artist that you actually know and love and only being able to listen to this do you know i mean it's like it's like having china girl by

david bowie do you know what i mean yeah it's just yeah that'd be difficult yeah and so it would that having a would it having an upbeat song be good on the desert island to get your hopes up or get you moved up or is it just like not not work it's like do you because when you get down do you listen to depressing music or do you listen to music that counters that counter come on it's got to be oh really oh no what do you listen i'm a wallower yeah i'm a wallower in the melanch'm a wallower. Wallowing the melancholy. Yeah, okay, okay. I hear that. I hear that.

I feel like you've come out the other side, though, of therapy. I feel like, for me, anything in a minor chord is going to have me a bit. So, you know. Oh, I just imagine. I just always think that's a funny image. People that listen to things to counter their mood. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. In my head i just imagine just people like bawling their eyes out and it's just oh that's good that is good right uptown girl is going to be your song choice and what's going to be your film choice oh well again this is sort of a group of films,

so bear my pardon. Just anything based around the war. I find it so... This is probably really naive or small-minded.

We get it. We get it. The Nazis were bad we won everyone's a bit we all came out of it awful i just i find it so boring and it's but no i and it more so i'd actually almost take it down to period dramas I find period dramas so boring I like oh we mustn't be we mustn't be left alone Mr Darcy what would people think I can't be arsed putting myself in in the in those the in the footsteps on the shoes of people that think like that so boring yeah I'm with you I'm with you I. I think we do have a kind of a morbid obsession with the war, which is like, really, we should probably look back and be like,

and we do, I guess, to a point, it's like look back and that was horrific. But it's almost one of those things where, oh, maybe we shouldn't be talking about that, really. But it is, again, it stems from my parents. I should say I love my parents a bit but my dad is a big history person and he's like you got if you want to be you got to know your history mogs if you want to see the future you want to you got your two you don't read enough

books you don't need a river i i read a book a week even but they're not they're not on history though they're not on history they're not on history it's sci-fi and dumb thrillers and rubbish rubbish detective things set up north that's what they are that's great that's great you're reading a book a week though i'm kind of i'm i'm you know i can barely read so some of them might be audiobooks if i go right yeah i've got 30 hours of driving this week you know boom so that's good yeah yeah yeah it's between that and james o'b go right yeah i've got 30 hours of driving this week you know so that's good yeah yeah yeah it's between that and james o'brien right and i know both relics okay so like yeah you're yes so the the choice is a group and and like any film based around the second world war any war film really yeah yeah so obviously there's

exceptions but just anything based around the war or anything or any period films i find period films so frustrating to watch do you know what one i love that there is one that i've watched recently called 1917 did you watch that well i mean that's why i mean there's an exception to the rule that one's that's good. That was really good. That was really good, yeah. Oh, I should have... When I said at the start, like, how do I want to be described, is a stand-up comedian, writer, actor, hypocrite.

LAUGHTER I absolutely adore that film. OK. I absolutely adore that film. Okay. Third, yeah, writer, actor, comedian, and a man who hasn't really thought through his list because he actually likes all these things. Yeah, I actually quite like a couple of the people. Yeah, that's great. Okay, yes, I'm with you on this,

and as well, quite tiring, especially if it's an old war film like a like an old 70s 60s war film and you've just got to watch that every day like three hours long painful yeah okay thank you very much and then finally the island is overrun by the biggest dick of all the animals which animal is it and why monkeys oh okay yeah monkeys i don't know whether take it i don't trust them and it's not their fault they're too smart i don't i think i don't like i can't i can't overpower them i can't outthink them i can't like they're if anything they're better than me i've just yeah but i just don't trust them.

I remember I had a friend that worked in a zoo and he said, you have the apes and you've got the spider monkeys. You've got the ape bamboons and spider monkeys. So you've got to be careful with them. So one of them will just think it's a toy. One of them will use it as an escape to get out and the other one will merge you with it.

You just go, oh, you don't get this with cats no it's true they they are too smart and also like some of them are terrifying like you see videos of like these massive baboons that like come and like rob people or like you know go into a house and like i don't know again rob you probably just looking for food but like that that would be terrifying imagine trying to sleep whilst knowing that they're there yeah you know that's the one thing it's not like it's it's this i would just find them terrifying oh i find them so spooky because they're so polite and because they shouldn't be in cages they shouldn't they should be out and about

so now we've just we've sort of just made this humongous group of animals that rightly want to kill us we've got a big X on our backs and I just go oh no I'm part of the problem can we put the monkey on the island please

yeah I agree I can't remember I just go, oh no, I'm part of the problem. Can we put the monkey on the island, please? Yeah. I agree. I can't remember the last time monkeys were chosen on here, but I think it's a great choice. It's like, they're too smart. They're going to outsmart you. You can't sleep around them just in fear of them attacking you. All the Turkish delight is gone overnight, right?

They're taking that. You've got nothing to eat and drink for the rest of life um yeah farage is dead he's wearing his clothes yeah imagine monkeys pissed on whiskey as well morgan this has been real fun thank you so much for coming on i really appreciate it you are a busy guy it seems like you've got a lot going on at the minute fingers crossed fingers crossed you know there's ups and downs I've just gone full time so it's just fun I'm self-employed how weird is that oh that's amazing though that's so good then you've got a big old tour book for next year right yes 230 all about 230 and like just a new chapter it's about the first decade

of my life I get to live authentically because I came out a little bit late and it's not just about being queer it's all about that sort of unshackling you know it's about living with your head head up in your shoulders back and it's all about all the mishaps and it's i'll be honest you there's a lot of jokes around bumming too that's the spiel it is like it's just a this show is just like a party i just want everyone to have a great time i want people to use it as pre's i want people to just have it as a whale of a time because there's going to be shows out there where people stroke their chin this one i honestly i just want people to have a great time it's got a dress code as well you know it's got like all this i just want people to have a party there'll be photographers there's a dj and we're raising money for local lbgtq charities at every event

so we're doing like events in the break to raise funds for all those charities so i want the moment people walk in i want them to have a good time whether that's music or entertainment and i want them to have a good time when i'm not on stage either which is why we've got the um queer charities coming in to put on events that's so good i had no idea that's what you were doing it's such a good idea and it's like really makes like an event of it like rather than just watch my show watch me talk for one hour and then go home it's like you're properly doing something with it which is cool no yeah and i want everybody to have a good time there's some most of the venues are wheelchair accessible there's some of them you just know the nature of the beast for these sort of venues they're in you know rooms under pubs that haven't haven't got a space i think i think there's only about

two or three i think that might be possibly edinburgh and possibly glasgow apologies if that is on the website if not but like we want to make all the shows really accessible as well, which is why most of the big shows, we've got a British sign language interpreter as well. Because with my old job, I used to work in safeguarding, helping a lot of people who were disadvantaged and just realised there was nothing out there for people that needed sign on it.

So there's such little little so do you know what one show a year can put it on i'm happy to do it yeah that's great make it accessible that's so good and you've got a podcast as well i've seen yeah chatting with cherubs me and josh jones it's like it's a queer leading podcast but it wasn't really it's just two queer lads talking about their week and light-hearted things in the news to be honest with it we talk for an hour and we cut it down to 30 minutes so it's just like if you want just a 30 minutes like just a real punch of just two queer lads fucking up every week talking about it and having a great laugh just a half hour dose a week yeah chatting with cherubs it's called we absolutely

adore making it. Oh, it's so good. He's been on this podcast and it was a brilliant episode. So yeah. Yeah. Josh is wonderful. And,

and you put a load of brilliant clips on your socials as well. And I imagine people can hear about your gigs and that on there. So like, is it your name? Morgan Rees? Yeah. Morgan Rees. Uh, follow me on Morgan,

the Reese on all the socials, just Morgan Reese. We'll take you to my website. And yeah, I try and post about a minimum five times a week. So there's always something up. That's brilliant. Thank you so much, Morgan. There's no problem. Thank you so much for having me. I've had a wonderful time. Bye.