Desert Island Dicks - OLGA KOCH

Episode Date: March 30, 2020

Comedian Olga Koch joins Dan to share who and what she'd hate to be marooned with on a desert island... Be sure to follow the podcast @dickspod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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hi it's dan here from desert island d, and this episode features the very funny comedian Olga Koch, and I hope you enjoy it. I just wanted to pop up here and say hello because this was recorded about three or four weeks ago now, pre-lockdown and all that sort of thing. So if you're listening to this thinking, God, that's selfish of them going out of their house and getting into a studio when all this stuff's going down. We didn't. It was before all that sort of thing happened. And we were still kind of getting used to the idea that that might be on the horizon, but it was still safe to kind of leave your house and go and meet people. We've got lots more in the in the pipe. No, what's the expression? We've got more coming up anyway that we're recording online with people during the lockdown so despite the fact that we can't leave our houses there are

still episodes coming up so you should still be entertained throughout this period and we'll give you more details of those as they come uh i'll stop talking now and instead let's get into desert island dicks with the comedian olga koch hi i'm dan benedictus and welcome to desert island dicks the show that sees you marooned on a desert island after a plane crash with the worst people and worst things imaginable. Who they are and why they're a dick is up to you. And here to share their Desert Island Dicks with us today is comedian Olga Koch.

Woo! You got my last name right. Is that okay? That is incredible. That was going to be my first question. That's the best I've ever heard it. Well done. Aw, thank you. Well, we're off to a good start. Now, how did you find sort of choosing your your dicks was it easy or was it agonizing so it's quite difficult just because i didn't want

to go with obvious answers i also found it difficult because i don't particularly like being mean to people on air i would i like to be mean to people behind closed doors it's the polite way of doing it so i thought, it's only fair to be mean to maybe fictional characters. Okay. Not that any of my answers are that, but I thought that maybe that's the only ethical way to just be like, I hate Superman. It's not like Superman is going to be upset. Sure.

Okay. Well, let's delve straight in. So who's going to be your first dick? My first dick is my dad. Wow. Okay. So pulling no punches. Well, it's not,

I don't think it's the fact that, like, I don't like him. It's the fact that I feel like after, first of all, just family tensions. Yeah. And I feel, and this is, we're going in deep, like, there's a certain romance to getting stranded with someone on a desert island, and a romance you will not be able to act on

with your own father. So I just want to be, just want to be aware of the fact that, apart from hungry, I'm probably going to get quite horny. And I don't want my dad to be there. Yeah, and even if there was to be a sort of romantic frisson between one of the other dicks that you've picked, even if that wasn't the case, and you were just on your own,

you still don't want him to be around anywhere to burst in on you. I think even if you get on well with your family, too much confines, you know, we all come back from Christmases and go, oh, I'm ready to not be with my family now. Exactly. So that seems fair. I like my dad

in doses and I cannot imagine being stranded with him on an island. Do you think he would be a practical addition to the island though? I mean, yeah, if I wanted someone practical I would ask I don't know, MacGyver. Speaking of fictional characters, I don't think I don't think that there's

yeah, sorry. No offense to my dad. Great guy. An hour a month I would say. Fantastic company. I mean, he might feel the same about you if he were asked. You know, like, I love my daughter, but maybe not on an island where food and drink was scarce. Well, yeah, and then you have to go, like,

back to, like, Adam and Eve days, because there's no clothes, so you're just, like, naked around your dad. The whole thing's just weird. Not a fan. And if provisions are limited, he'd want to sort of give them to you as, you know, your daughter, but then he's getting older now, presumably,

so you want to help him. Shut it down. Shut it right down. Okay, okay. Anything else on your dad before we move on? Why wouldn't I want my dad on a desert island? Oh, God. I just, yeah. Like, imagine just him trying to, like, discipline you.

I don't know. It just feels... just feels because again this is what i think is the fact that inviting someone with him you already with whom you already have a power dynamic that isn't equal with is going to be really tough because don't shell the coconuts like that exactly exactly so if you're going to get stranded with someone on a desert island you want them at the very least to just be your equal so you could like separate like who's doing what whereas with dad he's the boss, right? Because he's Dad.

And so I feel like why would I put myself, willingly put myself in a dynamic where I'm going to be, like, the subordinate? That makes a lot of sense, yeah. Thank you very much. That's what I want for my audiences to think. Not to laugh, but for it to make sense. We're laughing as well, you know, in a sensical way.

Okay, well, who would be your second choice on the island? So my second choice, again, probably unorthodox, because it's none of those people that I've listed I hate. If anything, I love them. So my second choice is Ezra Koenig from Vampire Weekend. Why? Okay. He seems squeaky clean, nice young man.

Love him. Love him. He's 34, 35? Okay. Well, he's younger than me then, so I get to say young man. Love him. Love him. He's 34, 35? Okay. Well, he's younger than me then, so I get to say young man. Oh, my God. You look great for whatever your age is. I just lie.

I pretend I'm older so that people say that. Oh, my God. That is such a good life hack. But I think I refer to him as young man because he seems so squeaky clean and nice. You know, in his sort of nice junkies. And clean shaven. Yeah. Yeah.

Why? Why? Because he is probably like, there is one shred of fangirl, like teen, like just quivering that's left in me. And that's for the band Vampire Weekend. Everything else has washed off, like Backstreet Boys or Josh Hartnett or whatever. Oh my God. How, how aged do I sound saying the words Josh Hartnett?

But like all of that has been washed away with just cynicism of old age. But the one thing that's still there, this just kind of very teenage, earnest, sincere fandom in me is for Vampire Weekend. So I feel like it's another thing of just don't meet your heroes.

I don't want to see Ezra Koenig shit in a coconut. Am I allowed to say that? Yeah, I don't want to. He is like, oh god, I don't want to see Ezra Koenig shit in a coconut. Am I allowed to say that? Yeah, of course. Yeah, I don't want to. He is like, oh, God, I don't want to say a deity. But the way that, like, girls these days look at Harry Styles, you wouldn't want to see Harry Styles just, like, brushing his teeth with a foot. I just don't.

I want him to stay that squeaky clean boy in my mind. And also, I mean, the other side, he's, you know, he's, you know, none of us are going to look our best after a plane crash. Yeah. You know, and you're going to see him at his worst. Yeah, can't do it. He's going to see you at your worst. And your dad's there watching.

Horrendous. So having a crush on someone. And also, I imagine that however nice he is, he has still been like a lot of people of that, sort of who've had that level of success for that long. He would have been treated like a child for a lot of his adult life. And I don't know how well that translates to being on an island. Yeah.

And also, I don't think I'd be very useful in terms of like building stuff because I'd just be like looking at him and just being like, like he'd be like Olga past the hammer or whatever. And I'd just be like, and just be completely like useless putty. And I feel like it would just be really awkward because the dynamic would so clearly be there

just like oh yeah she's a fan well where do we go from here he would never again another hierarchical thing and he seems like

someone who's so always so well presented that to sort of I imagine he wouldn't be at his best if he got a bit grubby do you know what I mean probably not then the real ezra might come out and he's a bit a bit angry and like you know his trousers aren't pressed right when those air force ones aren't box aren't box

fresh things are gonna hit the fan yeah or you folded something wrong for him i don't know yeah i don't want to you know besmirch your hero but i'm just imagining how he could come out on the island yeah and imagine and imagine just like finding out a random person is a dick. Sure. Finding out the person you've been glorifying for the last 20 years of your life or however much. Okay, they haven't been around for 20 years, but you know what I mean.

Do you find that, because I work in the media, as do you, and do you find sometimes you meet people who you know friends or family like and you have to keep it a secret from them so as not to spoil stuff? Yes. I feel like I'm definitely not operating at a level where I'm just like, Elton John, don't tell anyone we hung out. No, but like low-level people that you might see on TV.

Low-level people? There's like a series that me and my wife watch a lot on telly, and in case you listen to this I'm going to keep it vague, a person from one of these things we watch regularly came in and I heard on good authority he wasn't as nice as we had led to believe and every time I watch it

I keep my lips sealed, I'm like don't tell her because I don't want to spoil it for her you know, I've seen behind the curtain yeah, I can't think of anything right now, I mean I can think of moments where I remember Stuart Lee signed a book for my ex-boyfriend, who obviously I did it,

a guy who likes Stuart Lee. Jesus Christ. And so, but like everyone I've ever met has been perfectly pleasant. I don't think I've ever met anyone in a situation where they had the chance to act out. You need to spend a long time with them,

like on a desert island. Exactly. Thank you. Thank you for getting back on topic. Okay, well, who will be your final dick on the island? So I said any kid, any child. Well, just because, I mean, everything that I just said, just times a million, right? First of all, I'm not going to want to have sex with a kid.

No. Right? Absolutely not. And so kids are useless. They're just all snotty. I have to wipe. No, absolutely not. And the thing is, you need to be pragmatic, and having a kid there just isn't pragmatic.

Again, the built-in hierarchy of me bossing the kid around, probably I wouldn't like that. Yes, I mean, someone would have to take care of the kid because they're weaker. And I don't want to be that. He's maybe a bit old to look after a kid. You know, he's done his part. You fancy Ezra. He's kind of crashing, you know, every time you're maybe alone together

this kid's running along, getting his nose wiped. And then Ezra probably loves the kid because the kid doesn't know what Vampire Weekend is. So Ezra's like, oh God, what's the word that I'm looking for? Like, Ezra feels like himself the most with the kid because my dad doesn't speak English and I'm a fan. And so then I get jealous of the kid.

Can you imagine competing with a kid for Ezra Koenig's attention? I don't want to be in that love triangle. Also, I think, you know, I mean, I have a son, and, you know, obviously I love him very much, but every situation is more difficult if there's a child there. And if it's a child that you have no emotional connection to, just there's no point. Like, I really need to care deeply about someone to wipe their ass. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. No, absolutely. You know exactly what I mean because you've had to do. Yeah. But, I mean, even then, a lot of the time it's just because there's no one else to do it. Which is, you know, you're going to be in that situation. How old is your son? He's almost three.

Okay, so very, very relevant. Because imagine being stuck with one of his friends on a desert island. No, I'd hate it. Also, beaches are terrible for kids because, you know, sand gets everywhere. But on a toddler... Oh, rashes everywhere. Rashes, sand in their hair and mouth and stuff. They're crying all the time. Teething? Teething on a desert island? Oh, rashes everywhere. Rashes, sand in their hair and mouth and stuff. They're crying all the time.

Teething? Teething on a desert island? Oh, man. Absolutely not. At least you have lots of salt water to gargle with, which I think is meant to help it. I don't know. Okay, so Ezra Koenig. Am I saying his name right?

Koenig. Koenig or Koenig? Koenig. Koenig is German for king. The guy from Vampire Weekend. Your dad and any child. Yeah. Now, mercifully, amongst the wreckage of the plane,

there was some food and drink left over. Unfortunately for you, it's your least favorite food and drink in the world. What are they and why are they so bad? Oh, my God. Hey, granola bars. Okay, first of all, they just don't taste good. They're gross.

I hate it. They're dry. They're too sweet. It's sandy texture. I don't like it, first of all. Second of all, what I hate about it is they're sold to're too sweet it's sandy texture i don't like it first of all second of all what i hate about it is they're sold to you as like the healthy option when if we get to the nitty-gritty of the dieting of it it's just as bad for you as just a chocolate bar because it's all just like glued together with sugar syrup and so stop protect first of all like if i want to consume

something that's sweet and bad for me i sure as hell don't want it to be just a square of sand. Yeah, I mean, if you're going to do something wrong, do it right. Exactly. Thank you so much. I hate granola bars. Yeah, because I hate their, like, there's just an arrogance around them to just be like, oh, me? Oh, I'm just going to have a granola bar. Like, fuck you. Have a Mars bar and just

grow up. Like, this isn't better for you. And stop pretending, like, and the only reason people are having it is because they think it's healthy or good for them. Because I don't genuinely believe that anyone is choosing to enjoy granola. They're tiring to eat as well, aren't they? They're sort of like your jaws and face will get all sore. I mean, that's probably the only way they're better for you than a chocolate bar in that you burn some calories off by eating them. I don't know if that works.

I love the idea of them having an inherent arrogance. Oh my God, they do. Just like, if you're like, does anybody have a snack and someone takes out a fucking Nature Valley granola bar out of their bag? No, thank you. I'd rather starve. I think as well over here. I mean, so you're Russian born, but you spend a lot of time in America.

Yeah. I think over here in England, you know, it used to be a muesli bar. Yeah. We also have flapjacks, don't you? Flapjacks, yeah. But I think that is firmly in the, it's a sort of a treat camp. Okay. Because they're really sweet.

Yeah. And for me, there's something, still the word granola feels slightly odd in my mouth. You know, it feels like something we've imported a bit. So, like, granola bar, it feels like, I mean, muesli bar sounds more like what it is. It's oats stuck together with some sugar. Yes, thank you. With granola, you kind of think, oh, granola bar. I can pretend I'm in Clueless or something.

This podcast was recorded in the year 1997. Yeah, so granola bar. And also, you know, you're on a desert island. Is that really what you want to keep you going forever? It's so gross. And I think it's just the aesthetic that's associated with good roll buzzers just like i'm really being conscious of what i'm putting in my body and it's like what are you putting in your body just a glop of sugar fuck you sorry to just make me really really angry no i love it i think um yeah it's not

what you want to get hot and sticky in the sun oh my god with the sand as well everywhere okay well what drink would you wash these down with? You're a podcast listener, and this is a podcast ad. Reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Lipson Ads. Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements, or run a reproduced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with Lipson Ads. Go to lipsonads.com now. That's L-I-B-S-Y-N ads.com. Okay, so this is, I would say, the opposite.

And this is something that is, I don't think I see in supermarkets so much as you would see it in a food and wine or an off-license. And it is a milkshake that is based on a Bounty or a Mars. I've seen Bounty and Mars ones. I don't know if I've seen any other ones. The Mars milk. Yes.

Okay, so first of all, I just think that that's a disgusting thought. I don't know. If you were to write on a chocolate caramel milkshake, I'd be like, okay. But the fact that it's Mars just makes me feel like it's just a melted Mars. And again, all of it, as you can see, my annoyance isn't so much with the flavor, but with the aesthetic around it. And then the thing that absolutely kills me is that they put like sports tops on them that like pop off and off as if you're like going to the gym and sucking down a liquid Mars bar. Yeah, it's insane, isn't it? Yeah, it feels wrong, doesn't

it? Like milk, something about milk is wholesome, but Mars, anything but. And yeah, just calling it a milkshake would make everything fine, wouldn't it? Yeah. I feel like they're one of those drinks. I never see people drinking them, but I see them empty as litter quite a lot. And I don't know if you can infer something about the sort of person that drinks them from that, that I see them discarded more than i see them being drunk and just like you just slam it on your skull like you do a beer can and just throw it away i mean and also it's again maybe it's a texture thing where a thick milkshake

is good a milk is good but anything in between is just a no man's land a very odd texture yeah like you get those sort of pots of like yogurt that's for drinking yeah yeah yeah yogurt those words like a thin milk oh thin milkshake just just feels like yeah i never now that i'm saying all these things out loud i never realized how big of a deal texture was in my life i think that's the biggest i think it's easier to eat something weird tasting with a familiar texture than something that's bland with a texture you don't have. Very interesting. That's a very interesting point. Fun fact.

I don't remember who, Ben or Jerry. Maybe you know this fact. I'm pretty sure it's Ben, but I don't want to lie. One of them doesn't have a sense of smell, so that's why Ben and Jerry's ice creams have so much texture to them because for him, the enjoyment of eating comes so much from texture. Yeah, because I would say there's maybe 20% too many bits in there. Yeah, because they'll be hard and chewy and sticky.

I thought they were just really stoned all the time. You know what you put in here? Yeah, they have a flavor. I don't know if they have it here, but in America, where it's chocolate-covered potato chips. I think the human race needs to call god and tell him officially we've run out of ideas we're out we're out send the virus oh you have it's fine okay how long two months um okay now uh fortunately you won't be without entertainment on the island the planes

entertainment system continues to work but just your, it only has two working settings. One is your least favorite film of all time, and the other is your least favorite song. What are they and why? No! Okay, so I'm going to get a little political with my least favorite film. The film is going to be Annie Hall. Why?

Well, first of all, I just remember myself as a teenager, pre-everything about Woody Allen coming out, like, knowing that I wanted to get into comedy, knowing that he was like the godfather of all, I just remember myself as a teenager, pre-everything about Woody Allen coming out, knowing that I wanted to get into comedy, knowing that he was the godfather of comedy, reading all his books, and then forcing myself to get through every single one of his movies just to be like, well, I've seen them, and hence I deserve to be a comedian. Which, again, in retrospect is stupid, because you could do whatever you want. But I just remember going through all these films, and even if I didn't enjoy them, I remember being like, no, but he's a genius,

and if you don't like it, like you know how sometimes something is so cold that your only two options are either to like it or you don't get it? Like not liking it and getting it isn't an option. And so that's how I felt about Woody Allen, where I was like, I love it, I love it, I love it. And it's just like in retrospect,

all these movies have the same exact plot, right? All of them, I don't remember in Annie Hall. I don't. Is it Manhattan or Annie Hall where there's a plot line where he dates a really young girl? That's Manhattan. I think it's all of them, isn't it?

But yeah, but he. No, I think he's going out with. Maybe Annie Hall. What's her name? Diane Keaton. Diane Keaton. Who isn't a strong female character. She is the female Woody Allen.

There's no like, there's no imagination to like, what is this woman? This woman is Woody Allen with boobs. And then he's the even smaller neurotic, more neurotic version. But the idea is a separate artist from their art. And I'm not the first

person to say this. I'm not the last person to say this. But it's like, yeah, let's not have the debate when the art is the crime. The crime that he's accused of is his art. There is no room for interpretation there. And, like, it really annoys me that every time in any movie where an older character or he himself has a romance with a young girl, like, he will make the script so that the girl is, like, forcing the older man into it. And the older man keeps saying no.

And then finally he's convinced as in like he's doing her a favor and it's just like, yeah, that's how you would want to picture it because it kind of makes what you want okay. Yeah, yeah. Just the whole thing is just slimy. So we know you wrote this.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No one just thinks you were forced. We know that your name's on the ticket. Exactly. And the beats are pretty identical in every movie where it's like a young manic pixie dream girl is just like, please, professor, have sex with me.

And he's like, no, I can't. I'm just a tiny old paranoid raisin. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, well. And then on the fourth time, he's like, fine. And it's just okay Woody that's never happened

yeah I almost feel like he'd be better at just stand up because you could just get to the point you know and just hear

all the funny things without having to sort of skirt around to give him the punchline do you know what I mean you don't have to like see these young girls with this old man

oh god and like how many Hollywood actresses like for them the rite of passage is to be like the sex of the young thing. Who's having sex with, like, I don't know, Christopher Walken?

I'm quite glad there's been this, I mean, you know, turn in the tide against Woody Allen, because I always felt like I should have seen more of his films and I hadn't, and now I've just got a great... Well, you've seen one, you've seen them all. They all have the same exact plot, genuinely. And also, you know, think about the people you're watching it with on this desert island oh god yeah you know it's not not appropriate no thank you okay well finally the island is no hang on wait the song song song i

got carried away in my i was caught up in the woody allen world okay this is a controversial maybe this is even more political ronan ke song. I don't know if it was released independently or with the Notting Hill soundtrack right away. I just know that it was featured in the Notting Hill soundtrack quite prominently. Am I allowed to for copyright reasons sing this song right now? You can sing it. I think we can't play it, but you can sing it. Okay, so I mean, I'll try to make

it as unidentifiable as possible. The smile on your face lets me know that you need me. There's a truth that I'm going to keep going. In your eyes saying you'll never leave me. The touch of your hand says you'll catch me whenever I fall. Come on.

You say best. You say best. When you say nothing at all. What did Bob? Do you know what he's singing about? A woman not speaking. The smile on your face lets me know you need me. Don't say anything. Don't tell me you need

me. Just smile and that's enough. The smile on your face lets me know there's a truth in your eyes. A truth in my eyes, Ronan. There's a truth in my eyes because you've taped my mouth over. You say best when you say nothing at all. It's like the song version of, you know,

when someone starts speaking, you put the finger in their... Yeah, yeah, yeah, shh. I mean, every time, it just boils my blood because I'm like, you're using all this feathery, flowery language, but at the end of the day, what you're trying to tell me is to shut the fuck up. You might as well just call it it you look good on my arm let's leave it at that

so you mentioned it was in Notting Hill and that's one of those weird soundtracks that basically just has that song in but then it keeps coming in I think with The Graduate they just have that one Simon and Garfunkel song they just keep coming back to it

to save money or something and yeah it's really haunting. It's just like a long music video for Ronan Keating's music. It's bad, isn't it? Yeah, yeah. And I think he has a sort of quite an odd voice as well.

He's got that almost like, you know that sort of 90s, you know, he's kind of like a y'all. You know, they sort of sort of Eddie Vedder kind of. He's almost got like this. Counting crows. Yeah. He's got like the boy. Counting crows. Yeah.

He's got like the boy band version of that voice, isn't it? And a bit of that sort of Britney like. Yeah. Vocal fry. Yeah. 90s was a mad time. Like Alanis Morissette's voice as well. But then that transitions to the early 2000s indie girl voice.

Do you know? Are you familiar? With the sort of Cranberries kind of thing? Well, kind of. Do you know the indie girl voice phenomenon? I want to show you a vine sort of cranberries kind of thing? Well, kind of. Do you know the Indie Girl voice phenomenon? I want to show you a vine. Can I show you a vine? Oh, never mind. There's no... I will literally

send it to you. And it's like the vine goes, I'm going to quote... I'm quoting a vine. Oh my god. This was filmed in 1920s. It was like... Oh god, I can't do it. I have to send it to you basically Google welcome to my kitchen

we have bananas and avocados but Indie Girl Voice is like I guess Lorde has it right okay I shall look it up

please I mean if only to get the sound of Ronan Keating singing this song out of my head I think this would be an awful one

to be trapped with as well because it would just be the only thing you hear you know I the you know i had a break from annie hall for a bit i'll listen to some music and then it's that just bouncing between a rock and a hard place and like and what what is this the super 90s like the like the the wind the wind instruments that are like the is it oh it's like almost kel it's a kelt, isn't it? Yeah, is it a flute? Is it bagpipes? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

What are you? Yeah, Celtic moods, number three. Can you imagine that, just like waking you up every morning? Horrendous. Yeah, an awful kind of Groundhog Day, isn't it? Okay, well, finally, the island is overrun by the biggest dick

of all the animals. What is it and why? It's a mosquito. It's fair. That is fair. Because I was thinking, okay, well, we can think of something real big. We can think elephant. We can think whale.

We can think whale elephant. But at the end of the day, the bigger they are, the kind of more difficult it is for them to move around and stuff. And I think that a mosquito can affect anyone. Yes. And it's so annoying. Like if it's not biting you and you're not itchy because of it, it can just like buzz right next to your ear and drive you completely crazy.

No other insects do that, do they? Like flies, they're just around. Yeah. Why do mosquitoes, they go for your ears. ears yeah and then they will just hover there so imagine i feel like a mosquito can drive uh an elephant mad if it just kind of hovers around its ear can you imagine yeah absolutely it's yeah it's i'm not a zoologist so please don't at me um yeah i think yeah you're absolutely right because it's like you know the thing of like you're chopping wood you know the thing with chopping wood you get warm twice, once when you chop it, once when you burn it and they're annoying before they bite you

and afterwards and that's just going to be in a cycle forever and then because people go crazy having tinnitus don't they so it's just it's almost like a psychological warfare that they have sure an elephant will step on you,

but a mosquito will make you question your own sanity. And that, in many ways, is so much more horrifying. Because I think they always have a knack of only going in your ear just as you're falling asleep. The rest of the time, it's not there. And you're always, is that me? Was that a mosquito? Wait, you turn the lights on, nothing's there. And they come out at night.

Because when it's hot or warm outside, they're not there. It's too, nothing's there. And they come out at night because when it's hot and warm outside they're not there, it's too hot, but at night they come out and so they can contribute to sleep deprivation and sleep deprivation is like a prison torture technique Yeah, absolutely. And you can't sleep because they're buzzing and also you can't sleep because you're itchy all over. And then you can't sleep in the day

because you've got a child to look after. Exactly and your dad Oh my god, I think you've painted quite a delightfully after. Exactly. And your dad. Oh my God. I think you've painted quite a delightfully shocking... Ronan Keating is just... I think, you know what, of everything, in my head I've just got that over the top of everything and I think that's the real cherry on top.

Is the musical thing, the chimes that we're talking about, is it the same thing that they have in My Heart Will Go On? I feel like they do. It's a very similar melodramatic 90s thing. Yeah, like a Gaelic clarinet or something. I don't know what it's called, but that's what it sounds like,

isn't it? Yep. Well, I think you've done an incredible job. Oh, God. Is this okay? Yeah, the only... I'm glad that all these people were confined to an island because of the plane crash. I'm just sorry that you have to be there with them. But you've made us happy on the way there.

So thank you very much, Olga, for coming in. Oh, before we sign off, though, is there anything you would like to promote or plug? Head to my website and to my Twitter, rocknrollga.com. And at rocknrollga on Twitter. And will your thing still be on BBC Sounds? Because I listened to that the other day. Yes, yes.

I have a BBC Radio 4 special called Fight on iPlayer. Check it out. I very much recommend it as well. Thank you so much. Olga, thank you very much for coming in. Thank you so much for having me. Thank you.