Desert Island Dicks - ROBYN PERKINS

Episode Date: August 6, 2018

My guest for this week's podcast is the brilliant, Robyn Perkins. Be sure to follow the podcast here @dickspod Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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island after a plane crash with the worst people and worst things imaginable. Who they are and why they're a dick is up to you. And here to share their Desert Island Dicks with us today is comedian and biologist Robin Perkins. Hello. Hello, how are you? I'm good, yeah. Yes, thanks for coming in. Thank you for having me.

Shall we dive in? Who's going to be your first person? Yeah, I mean, it seems obvious because of my accent and the world, but Trump has got to be number one. Donald Trump, number one, okay. Got to be number one dick in the world. Need I ask? Need I ask why? I mean, so many reasons, but I think as an American, what really bothers me is obviously he's not the only one making decisions.

He's got a panel. But he's supposed to be a role model for the entire country. and you can't have a role model that doesn't value human rights absolutely yeah so you've lived here for a while right yes 10 years okay so um you've lived so so throughout all of trump's campaign you were living here yes so what was it like i didn't think it was going to happen i was like there's no way there's no way my country's going to be that dumb and it was the saddest thing uh it was hard it's heartbreaking because you want to be proud of your country because we do americans we have a lot of pride and i just remember the first time hearing the national anthem after he got elected and it was just didn't mean as much it just takes on a new meaning right it was just didn't mean as much. It just takes on a new meaning, right?

It is. You're just like... And it's hard. Like, I have two seven-year-old nephews, so at the time were quite a bit younger and they cried when he was elected. Like, they are... Yeah. Oh, my God.

For it to be seven and know that it's that bad as well. Was there any kind of movement to like for people to travel home to vote against Trump becoming president? They had a huge campaign for absentee votes and actually made it really easy. So I was able to vote in New Hampshire, which is where I'm originally from, but it's one of the primaries and quite small. So I feel like my vote really did count there more than anywhere else. But it's so bad.

So bad. Okay. With these things normally, I'll say, is there anything more? You know, because you've got to dig, right? But it's just like it's wide open. It's wide open. Where does it end? I mean, for so many reasons.

People are probably bored of it by now i just i had to mention him because he is the for forerunner of of the world he's the biggest dick right yeah the biggest dick in the world so awful situation to be stuck in a desert island but donald trump as well i know just imagine having to look at that above everything else no sex appeal nothing nothing like you can't even oh everything the voice and the hair and the Above everything else, no sex appeal. He's got no sex appeal. Nothing. Like, you can't even, oh, everything. The voice and the hair and the, oh, groten.

Awful. Okay. Donald Trump. Okay. It's your first choice. Who's going to be your second choice? I like to call her my grandfather's bitch. It's fine.

She's dead. Okay. Look, I'm sorry. She is a dick. Okay. What's the story? What's the story? So he was kind of a legend of a man. And after my grandmother died, he remarried. But she basically, oh, she corrupted him. She like just, she kind of, I think she tried to marry him for his money but that didn't work

right has he got did you have loads of money no but she just really didn't uh she's one of those women that looks constantly pregnant but isn't do you know what i mean so she's okay so this is the image of her and she it is kind of like a disney movie with the three awful stepchildren that are also route like and she tried to live longer than him and just couldn't because he made it to 100 oh wow that's amazing yeah and he was a womanizer as well like he was a player on his you always asked him how he got to be that old and he was like three things good food good rest and good women just at a hundred years old it doesn't really stand the test of time does it it really does it i mean on his 100th birthday they had a birthday party

for him at his nursing home and as he was walking out he looks at this 75 year old woman so like a pretty big age gap even though yeah it just tries to hit on her and just leans down and goes, I like to look at you. She was sitting with her husband at the time. Like he's that kind of a... Just going all out. Wow. Yeah. And this woman just came on board, cramped his style,

tried to just take advantage of him in every way. And we just did not. Oh, wow. We weren't a fan. And we tried to warn him. But because he's kind of a player... He knows best, right? Yeah. So he's like,'s like oh no i'm going for it yeah exactly did they marry they did get married wow and the worst bit so it was my dad's uh father but and my mom my parents are very they don't talk about anything sexual at all yeah yeah and uh and after a few like

probably about a month after they got married and he's got this very slow voice and he talks to my mom right so not his daughter but his daughter-in-law was like i don't understand we had loads of intercourse before we got married and now we don't have any intercourse at all we're like yep that's what happened yep so wow amazing yeah any other story like um why why is she so bad though but she just didn't care about him she just wanted financial security and her daughters were just as bad after he died they were immediately within hours like when are we reading the will when when's that gonna happen yeah no way yeah it was just so obvious yeah but luckily he had a great financial advisor that was a family friend

that was like this bitch is awful and she's not getting anything oh my god yeah so bitch holy moly i don't know and her name is so stereotypical ethel ethel it's got her name is so stereotypical. Ethel. Ethel. It's so stereotypical. Ethel. Yeah. Wow. Was that Ethel's second marriage? Maybe even more. It could have been like three or four.

I mean, she was a serial find the men, marry him. Holy shit. You're a poor granddad. Okay. So you get to 100, though. That's pretty amazing, right? Yeah, it was. And he also, I mean, he was such a strong man, he chose to stop living.

Like when he went, he was like, I'm done. What else did he do? Like just stopped eating, was like, no, I'm done with life. Really? Yeah. Okay. Such an amazing man. He just called in all the shots.

He was, exactly. Incredible. Anything else on Ethel before we leave her there on the island? I mean, no. She is a dick. Okay. Who's going to be your third choice? I don't know this person's name, but I know that they are a dick.

Okay, yeah. It's the person that decides whether or not you get a refund or any money back on train cancellations. Okay. Now, I know it's very specific. I travel a lot. No, it's great. It's great. But I mean, on all the train companies, Virgin, National Rail, tons of delays.

And if you're delayed by more than a half an hour, you are eligible for a refund or at least a partial refund. Yeah. And you send in all of the paperwork, all 56 pages with the ticket, photographs, like selfies of tears and drink. And then they're like, oh, I'm sorry, you didn't fold the paper correctly. And it's got to be one guy. They do. It's impossible. I have never gotten a refund and I have been delayed so many times, missed so many connections,

everything. And there is somebody's job, I swear, to just go find the loophole, find the one thing that they fucked up and don't give them any money back. It's almost like they're sat there with a list of like a hundred things. Okay, go to the section of timing, right?

Okay, no. You're two minutes out or whatever. Yeah, exactly. It's like everything looks perfect. Okay, this one's just got to get lost then. It's fine. Fuck yeah. It is.

What about like, okay, so what did you say? It's like half an hour and you can get your money back. It's a half an hour on Virgin. Yeah. And Virgin are the worst. I mean, they are. Are they actually? I have so much hatred for Virgin.

No way. On every aspect of it as well. I once lost my luggage. I didn't lose it I once lost my luggage. I didn't lose it. They lost my luggage. It was very, you know, they lost my luggage. I had to put in four different insurance claims because they kept going back on. We've just canceled it for you because I think you'll get more money from your insurance.

But the problem was my Brompton was in it. And you can't get like anything more than one item that's worth 250 pounds on travel insurance but virgin is just a flat out face i was like no no i'm claiming through virgin four times i had to tweet them and then they had it settled within a couple hours yeah you have to get on twitter i know yeah every time there's such assholes virgin everything so yeah so many times they're like oh don't worry that we're delayed by a half an hour because you can get your money back and then nope no way have never i honestly thought that they were meant to be like the best one this shows how much

awful it's not just trains it's trains flights internet i transferred something over to somebody else's name two years later uh old flatmates like weren't paying the internet bill had my name wasn't on it my address wasn't on it and i had them hounding me every single day what i was like i'm not yeah they just don't care every aspect of them i just like and they own so much no um do you reckon this person that issues the refund gets a kick out of out of do you think they get a little bonus every time that they decline someone of a training ticket? I'm just imagining this person. In my head, they're like this like weaseling little person in a room.

They're like, oh, yes. Another one in the bin. It's got to be... It has to be a psychopath on some level. Because if it was a nice person, they wouldn't be able to do it or they'd spread the word. They'd be like, oh my God god this is actually what my job is so it has to be somebody that either gets a financial bonus or really gets a kick out of being like oh you forgot to sign it on the right line failed again everything i bet he goes home or her they go home at night and just

yeah how's your day at work honey amazing 46 cancellations didn't get a single refund today no that's great that's so good the person that issues the refunds at national rail yeah or virgin or any of the rail yeah any of those okay um excellent choice robin now mercifully among the wreckage of the plane there was some food and drink left over unfortunately for you it's your least favorite food and drink in the world. What are they and why are they so bad? All right. I have two bits of food that I am very adamant.

Okay. First of all, chili heat wave Doritos. Okay. I fucking hate them. And here's why. I have so much animosity and I've been waiting. Why? Okay.

Doritos are an American snack. All right. And Americans don't do a lot of things well. We do junk food and we do drinking games well. Those are the two things that we do. But Chili Heat Wave is not an American flavor. It is a British imposter. And not only that is that nacho cheese is clearly the best flavor.

And it was the original Dorito flavor. And Chili Heat Wave looks kind of like nacho cheese is clearly the best flavor and it was the original Dorito flavor and chili heat wave looks kind of like nacho cheese so then they'll sit there in a bowl at a party being like oh we're the imposters we look like nacho cheese and then you put them in your mouth and they don't taste like nacho cheese and I hate them they're not an original and then what is it so why have we made up this flavor and it seems like to me chili wave, like hearing that is like, oh, obviously that's kind of like some American flavor. Do you know what I mean? So maybe you'd go for it.

Absolutely not. Why don't we have nacho cheese here? You do. You have tangy cheese. Tangy cheese. Yeah. I guess because we don't have as much nacho. I don't know what it is.

Who knows? Okay. All right. The imposter. I mean, it does. The imposter. It does have like a bit of a weird like claggy flavor. Do you know what I mean?

It's just like sits in your mouth and you can't really, even once you brush your teeth, it's still there. Yeah. Yeah, okay. It's because it's not a real Dorito. It's not. You're so passionate about it. So passionate about it.

I would say if I had extra time, I would start a campaign. Do you remember the first time you had Chili Heat Wave? Yeah, and I was surprised. I was all excited about the nacho cheese. And I put it in my mouth and I was like, what the fuck is this? What Doritos do you like other than nacho cheese? Nacho cheese and the Cool Ranch, which I think you guys, do you guys call it Cool Ranch over here? What do you call it over here?

It's the blue one. Yeah, but what do we call it? Cool, I don't know. I think I want to say it's called cool original oh yeah we call it cool ranch because we have ranch dressing is a big thing that makes more sense because like cool original is something that you maybe would call like a toothpaste yeah i mean it doesn't really suit crisps i know also the flavor of original bothers me because growing up as a kid i misunderstood what original actually meant for so many years because of the way they described crisps. Because original flavor is just ready salted.

And that is not very original. That's the same flavor as everybody else. Yes. So for a while, growing up as a kid, I thought original meant boring. Yes. That is so true. Yeah. boring yes that is so true yeah gee i feel like i've just had an epiphany because like oh my god that is good okay i'm gonna take that with me original it's not because it's original because it's original yeah because it's the first one right yeah right okay okay um sorry to digress

no i'm glad i could change your life yeah i feel I feel like you have. And as a response, as a thank you, you can help spread the word about Chili Heat Wave Doritos. I will do, absolutely. All the people listening to this now know about Chili Heat Wave Doritos. Stop eating them. Stop eating them.

Boycott Chili Heat Wave. Yeah, go for tangy cheese. It's a much better flavor. Tangy cheese and or nacho cheese. And you got a second food. I do. Go on. I really hate raisins.

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Why do you hate raisins? All right. First of all, they are, they come from grapes. And we all know grapes are like the hull of the fruit world. Like they just, they're the cheapest fruit. They have the least amount of like. The hull of the fruit world. I know.'re all they're the cheapest fruit they have the least amount of like if you i know i'm sorry if anybody's from hall but uh actually it is the city of culture that's a anyway it's just okay they're awful and so they're just washed up grapes that have

nothing left to live for and they're just they don't taste good why not go for dried cranberries much better okay much more original they are much more original they are like dried cranberries are very sweet i do like a raisin no like in a cereal no i have a little bit less respect for you i feel a bit bad about that and they're also the cheapest so then when you get like a good muesli they just pop it out with raisins at which point i just have to pick out the raisins do you just take them out oh i do i get dorset cereal with no raisins as well they have in there i'm not the only one because there's enough people oh i know making it at comedy no raisins fyi this week I bought vegetables. No home brand for me.

Raisins. Do you know what? For me, raisins are like when I was a kid, I remember getting those little sun made. You see the red packets of raisins and it's got like a nice nostalgic. No, you're just giving me a blank stare. Awful raisins. No.

And sultanas even, just because you have a nice name, still raisin. I'm with you. Sultanas, it is a good name actually, isn't it? It is. It sounds like it should be like a dried mango or something. Would you like a sultana? No, uh-uh. It sounds kind of tropical. Yeah.

But it isn't that good. It's not as good as a raisin and you already don't like raisins. Awful. Okay. Was there an experience when you're younger with raisins or no just take them discover this i just hate them they're just they're filler they're they're also like oh in the fruit salad what's the last fruit to go yeah i mean we all know strawberries are up there and then melon even and grapes are below melon and then raisins are just dried up grapes with nothing to live for.

Okay. It's good. Anything else on raisins before we put them on the island? No. Okay. All right. Raisins. Raisins it is.

And what's going to be your drink choice? This is not going to be popular, but I am not a fan of cordial. Well, any cordial? Mm-mm. It's too sweet. Yeah. Okay. Too sweet. Yeah. All right. i'm starting to notice a theme okay

you're not into sweet stuff no but i do i mean i yesterday ate two meringues that is a lot of sugar i feel a little sick right now but yeah it's i just cordial i don't know it's not that and southern comfort that's my other thing okay yeah i southern comfort is i i would never be my number one choice but as a kid my dad used to drink it with lemonade right to have like southern comfort and lemonade with a bit of lemon or something in it you hate that i do because it's not real no lemonade if you want to put if you want to squeeze some lemons in water with a little bit of sugar that's fine but lemonade in this country is not lemonade it's really not it's gross why do you live here you just hate it i'm joking i'm joking i like tea go back over there where Trump is. No. I'm just...

Please don't. No. Okay. Yeah. The Southern Comfort, it was more of a bad experience. Talk to me. Go on. What happened?

At university, I was playing beer pong with Southern Comfort and orange juice. Okay. Which is already not a good combination, but I also was on antibiotics at the time. And it still remains to be in my top three hangovers of my life. Maybe even number one, actually. Really? And then that flavor just plagues you forever. Forever.

Yeah, mine's vodka and orange juice. Oh, really? Oh, that's sad. That's such a... When I was a kid, I was just like a kid. I don't know. I can't remember, like 14 or something. We were was a kid i was just like a kid i don't know i can't remember like 14 or something we were at a party and i just drank loads of vodka and orange juice because i was like this is easy to drink this is going down a tree look at me i'm drinking i'm cool

and then just had the worst experience just was sick and stuff and then just can't touch it now wow i had a similar thing with jack daniels in boarding school yeah did you boarding school oh yeah i went to i went to like the hipp in boarding school. Did you? Boarding school? Oh, yeah. I went to the hippie boarding school, though, in the States. So it's basically where all the posh kids that got kicked out of the other ones came. Okay. You're like the second chance boarding school. Own clothes?

Oh, in America, you're in your own clothes all the time anyway, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was proper full of hippies as well that made their own clothes and stuff. Really? Yeah. Okay. That's Yeah. Okay. That's cool. I know.

And yeah, I just got invited to drink when I was probably 15 with all the seniors who were like 17, 18 years old. Cool, cool. Yeah. And we were playing Never Have I Ever and I was just sitting down with all of them and didn't move but was like downing the Jack Daniels and... Oh, yeah, bad. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Do you have cordial in America? No. of them and didn't move but was like downing the jack daniels and oh yeah bad yeah okay yeah um do you have cordial in america no i think that's probably why oh really it's not i'm not used to

it no it's not a thing it's just not a thing yeah what why i mean i will i'll ask yeah i would gladly take cordial over raisins I'll tell you that absolutely cordial when you came over and saw cordial were you like what is this yeah it's weird or squash which obviously our squash is something different and they're like do you have any

squash to put in the drink and I was like well that's an odd accompaniment what's your squash pumpkin squash oh like a pumpkin yeah okay yeah yeah yeah all right i see okay cordial yeah i mean if you're on this island just i know this is very hypothetical but if you're on this island and you manage to get some water it might be a nice change it'd be a welcome change it could be you're right it could be you're right i do understand the sweetness and now they've got a thing where because sugar tax is so high they're using these sweeteners in there which are worse it's so weird gross yeah so gross it's so weird

because i um uh i may have mentioned it before in the podcast but i've got a couple kids and uh my oldest of the two uh sometimes i make her like a watered down squash. So we have like squash in, sorry, like cordial, not squash, not a pumpkin, but like a squash. And I make her a watered down one and I had one the other day. Awful. It's horrible because it's just full of this

like weird kind of- It's got that aftertaste. I'd rather have no sugar. That's why I can't eat like sugarless ice cream. No, yeah. It's got that weird flavor. But what's the point in a sugarless ice cream? I know, it's true. Yeah know it's true yeah it's true

okay cordial all right robin fortunately for you you won't be without entertainment on the island the plane's entertainment system continues to work but just your luck it only has two working settings one is your least favorite film of all time and the other is your least favorite song are they and why are they so bad? Okay. So, film-wise, this was tough because I like almost every film except for scary films. So I would say scary films in general. Okay. I can't actually watch them because I get nightmares. However, if I had to choose conceptually one of them,

it would probably be human centipede human centipede okay yes have you have you seen it no no i just know the concept of it okay yeah it is horrific like yeah because it's both gross and scary so what do you know what do you know human centipede how they sew that yeah i don't know like i can't yeah where that's so the mouth onto the again it so the food just goes through like yeah okay so uh actually of scary films that is like more so is that more gross so that's like disturbing that's like it's super disturbing i'm not i'm not i've sat up i don't know i'm like oh i'm gonna school you now on scary films.

That's not what I meant to do. Do you like scary movies? I don't like scary movies at all. That's not what my intention was. I just, I went to see this human centipede, would you believe, at a cinema. Yeah. Yeah, it's weird, isn't it?

Did people like it? I don't think so, no. When we were in there, it was more sort of the horrific shock factor. But now, nowadays, with scary films, there it was more sort of the horrific shock factor but now nowadays we've skipped nowadays with scary films it's more like that they're just so jumpy yeah i mean it's just about like it's just about making you jump all the time it's not actually about it having like a good story or any of that stuff i do sound like i'm into them don't yeah you do i'm not into them

at all i think the other ones that are the scariest of the scary films are less about the jumpy or the far out ones, but the ones that could be real. Like there's one about the guy, I think it's called Because You Were Home or something, where it's this guy that randomly goes to this person's house and tortures and eventually kills them. Again, I haven't seen this before.

And at the end, right before he kills them, they were like, they were like but why why us like we're just a random family and he was like because you were home oh and you're like oh my god yeah skin crawl like goosebumps now exactly okay wow that one line makes the whole thing right yeah amazing okay human centipede uh my experience was we were on our weekend away in brighton my girlfriend and i many years ago and uh we're like let's do something tonight i mean it was raining and we've been out like we've been out a night so we've done that thing of like going between bars and having drinks and stuff and the next night we were like let's do something else and she was like oh there's a like a nice cinema oh that's romantic i know and then we went to watch the human centipede in this cinema oh my god it was horrific especially like looking around a room

of people and just like looking people's faces as it's all sort of unfolding but that actually is disturbing because apart from the obviously obviously, the eventuality of it, it's like this guy seems like quite a normal guy who lives in a kind of normal but out of the way house. But what goes on behind a locked door, oh, it's a horrible thought, isn't it? Yeah, absolutely horrible. Okay. The Human Centipede is going to be a film. Imagine having to watch that for the rest of your life as well.

Okay. But maybe we'll do a sort of subheader of all scary films. Yeah. Sweet. And what's going to be your song choice? So again, it's kind of twofold. I hate house and techno. Okay. All of, like, pretty much all of it. So, but if I had to go for a specific song outside of that genre,

because I don't think I could name a single, it's just the repetitiveness of it. Yeah, yeah. I would say Cotton Eye Joe. Cotton Eye Joe. Do you know, did it make it over here? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, just annoying.

That is, no one said that on this before. That is so good. Why Cotton Eye Joe? I just... I find it repetitive and really annoying. And just grating. And the... Because I like country music, and I like hip-hop, and I like pop music.

But it just sounds like just a... Oh, stop. I don't want it in my head. I know. I'm going to put a little bit of it in the podcast. Yeah, I know. So I'll put it in my head. I'm going to put a little bit in the podcast. I'll put it in here. And that's how it sounds.

Isn't it annoying? So annoying. Did you have it when you were younger, like at school, disco, people's birthday parties and stuff? When did it come out? I think it came out, it would have come out either in boarding school or university so people played it like all the time and i think it must have been around the start of like napster and online music as well

yeah i see i see and people do a stupid dance when they listen to it i do hate a conga line as well. Like, I... Yeah, no. There's a weird thing about being forced into that, isn't it? Yeah.

It's like, you're like, oh, God, I really don't want to touch this bit. I don't want to do this. I don't want to be a part of what's going to happen right now. Yeah, I hate conga lines.

I know that's not a question, but... No, no, that's good. Yeah, conga. I feel like that would have to be on the island as well. Okay, conga. House and Techno slash Cottenhaw Joe slash Conga Lions goes in.

Okay. Finally, Robin, the island is overrun by the biggest dick of all the animals. Which animal is it and why? Okay. Originally, I would say mosquitoes. Mosquito. They are. Originally, okay.

Originally, because they are attracted to me, they obviously have a negative. Oh, honestly, if I, people love going on holiday with me because they just like me so much that they stop biting other people. You're like the blue light to a mosquito. I am. It's horrible. And then the itchiness and the after, I mean, they know. So I feel like that would be worse.

Although the biggest dick of the animals has got to be the cat. Why cats? Because they're so up themselves. They're selfish. They're assholes. They use humans for food, but then they're like, oh, I've gotten fed, like, whatever, fuck off. And they don't have any sort of love.

They're not like dogs. I would take a dog any day. They're assholes. This divides opinion massively i know i feel like anybody that like me just doesn't now no no like it's just like uh we've uh so what i've noticed is people often will pick cats or dogs right but it's either because um they will like they they will like cats because the cats go and look after themselves and go to the toilet on their own oh yeah or they won't like cats because they they don't have enough affection or with dogs people might say our dogs too needy or that or and then they have this like love for you that is adorable.

If you don't want to take care of an animal, don't get a dog. But cats are just pricks. They don't actually love you. They're using you. They're like the Ethel of the... Yes. You know, if she was an animal, she'd be a cat. They live there. They eat your food.

They give you nothing back. They smell bad. They smell bad. They do smell bad. Yeah. They're always getting into fights, cats. Yeah. And they cost you loads in vet bills.

Mm-hmm. Because they mix with the other cats. Exactly. Exactly. So I don't like them. I do think it would be worse to live on an island infested by mosquitoes than cats. Cats. But I think in terms of asshole-ness, cats are it.

Cats. Cats are the worst. Okay. Anything else on cats? Did you have a bad experience with cats when you were 12? I won't keep asking that. No, no, no. I don't.

I didn't. My parents were always dog people, so I was raised with dogs. Okay. So I did have to cat sit a year ago, though. How was it? Yeah. I have a series of Instagram posts

on all the asshole things that they did which it was a good part of mine that i was cat sitting for and he and i had to live at the house because they were so high maintenance that they would they had special medication because they would get stressed out when their owners left like yeah these are some high maintenance assholes so so basically I lived there for a week. And they knew that. I mean, it's not like I kicked the cats, right? It was fine.

I fed them. They were nice. And usually cats like me because I don't give a shit about them. Like, I don't want them to love me. So then they actually try harder. They really got the whole treat of me and keeping peeing down. So that's how you get a cat to like you. Yeah, you just don't care.

Just ignore them. Just ignore it. Yeah, so what I didn't realize, and I would say kind of mean things to them, but in a loving voice. So I'd be like, oh, you're the biggest dick I've ever met. I hate you so much. But what I didn't realize is that their Alexalexa was recording no way no way yeah so their

alexa was recording yeah so every time yeah it would you would say yeah what yeah because i didn't really know how to use i just was the first time i'd live because i had to live at the house for a week and so it's the first time that i'd live with an alexa which was amazing yeah so they didn't get upset they knew i you know wasn't i wasn't hurting the cats i took care of them It was the first time that I'd lived with an Alexa, which was amazing. Yeah. They didn't get upset. They knew I wasn't hurting the cats. I took care of them. They were fine.

But they were like, yeah, you really... You really didn't like those cats? Aren't you the biggest dick I've ever met? You fucking dickhead. That's good, though, because I've got no idea. But that's weird. The Alexa's recording the whole time. Yeah. What? Like when you talk's recording the whole time. Yeah. What?

Like when you talk. Yeah. When you're there. Yeah. That is, I guess maybe that's good for like if someone breaks in. Yeah, I guess.

But then you've got their voice but unless they say their name you don't know who they are. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Okay. Hi, I'm Mark Smith and we're going to take this TV.

That's kind of weird. They recorded you the whole time i know i don't think they meant to yeah oh fair enough okay cool um okay so cats yeah brilliant all right well thank you so much for coming in um so you said instagram where where can people find you on instagram uh miss underscore robin underscore but it's robin with a y okay and uh twitter is robin. Perkins. Robin H. Perkins on Twitter. And you're going to be in Edinburgh?

Yes, the 1st to the 26th at 10 to 6 every day, except for the 13th at the Underbelly. Okay. It's very exciting. No 13th? No, the Underbelly takes the whole 13th off everybody. Okay. It's the 13th off to kind of...

To have no unlucky shows, right? Well, I think also just to... To have a break in the middle it's more the middle Monday people aren't there anyway so okay cool thank you so much for coming in yeah thank you for having me Hey!