Desert Island Dicks - VIR DAS

Episode Date: August 12, 2022

He's a comedian, musician, actor and now guest on Desert Island Dicks, he's Vir Das. Taking a break from his Edinburgh run, he talks to Dan about people and things that would make his life on a desert island miserable, but fortunately whilst doing so he is very funny, so get stuck in and enjoy the podcast. If you're a fan of Desert Island Dicks, or just want something to get you out of the house, then we're kicking off the Cheerful Earful podcast in October with a great guest, so get your tickets now before the cost of living gets so high you have to live in a tent in your living room and the idea of leaving the house is too terrifying to bear. Thanks. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

At Sierra, discover joyous deals on great gifts for everyone on your list. Like cozy slippers, ski gear, fishing poles, bikes, large kayaks, even larger canoes. Which might lead to another discovery. Robbing gifts is the only sport you need to stay fit this season. Tis the season to discover great gifts at unexpectedly low prices. Sierra, let's get moving. You're a podcast listener, and this is a podcast ad. Reach great listeners like yourself with podcast advertising from Lipson Ads.

Choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements, or run a reproduced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with Lipson Ads. Go to lipsonads.com now. That's L-I-B-S-Y-N ads.com. Hi, I'm Dan from Desert Island Dicks. Today we feature Veerdas. He's a comedian, actor, musician.

He does lots of things. Check him out online. He's got some amazing stand-up online. But also you can see him in real life he's at edinburgh uh for all of august and then he's also doing a tour across the uk so uh there's loads of opportunities to check him out i don't know what to say really i think we'll just get on and listen to the episode shall we yeah here we go it's desert Island Dicks with Veer Das. Hi, I'm Dan Benedictus and welcome to Desert Island Dicks,

the show that sees you marooned on a desert island after a plane crash with the worst people and worst things imaginable. Who they are and why they're a dick is up to our guest and here to share their desert island dicks with us today is comedian, actor and musician Veer Das. How are you doing? I'm good man, thank you for having me. Thank you for coming on, thank you for coming on. So you're up in Edinburgh at the minute? I am up, I just got in so I'm in Edinburgh but on Mumbai time okay is what's going on basically so it's it's dinner time at 1am or 1pm or whatever this is yeah okay so that's not too bad a few hours difference you can hopefully struggle through okay well um yeah so I mean when you're when you've been traveling in a new place and sometimes it can be a bit disruptive to your thought patterns do you find it easy to be a sort of to rant about things you don't like or are you feeling fairly calm today I feel pretty calm

uh you know I'm settling into the knowledge that I don't normally get to be in the same place for a month without like sort of active touring and so Edinburgh is kind of this hey I get to go to the gym a little bit and I get to you know find out who my wife is and what she likes she likes to find out who i am uh we get to spend like an active month with each other which is kind of nice okay cool so you're in quite a serene uh sort of state of mind let's hope that talking about all the people and things you hate for for a while isn't going to disrupt that it'll be fine okay good all right well we'll crack on if you need a little break to calm down and just let us know but uh right you're on the desert island. Your plane has crashed. Who's going to be the first person joining you?

Hitler. Hitler. Okay. Normally, I sort of say, why have you picked this person? I've got an idea why you might have picked Hitler. Just because I'm not really good with structure. And say what you will about Hitler. At least he was good at infrastructure and planning. You know what I'm so uh uh he's a terrible human being and crimes against humanity and all of that but if we're stuck on a desert island it's literally just me and hitler right so technically hitler is not playing to his greatest strength he can't really do any human damage because it's just the two of us but you know that guy would build like a son of a bitch on that island right so you know that there would be uh like give me and hitler five years on an island it's possible that i'm working for him and or his lover but uh there will be museums and statues and he'll just get the island

together on the off chance that we don't make it off the island so i'd go hitler yeah i mean there's no way you're going to get the upper hand it's going to be difficult isn't it like you're going to think right me and hitler i've got to go in there straight away be the alpha male try and you know suppress him but he's i mean it's just everything in his being is like i'm a dictator i have to do this yeah but but i mean i think it depends on which version of hitler you you catch right so if you if you catch hitler at like the peak of his powers and then put him into a desert island then he knows what he was uh and now he's just got one subject who's following him which is me so he's really you you really just have a broken man uh you know who's lost it all

uh so you're looking at cancelled by life hitler yeah yeah because i imagine i mean before I mean, before, I mean, I guess you get the young Hitler, you know, he's into painting and maybe hadn't got so disillusioned with the world and Jews. And I think you can't just turn overnight into Hitler. I mean, I imagine even the sort of, let's say like early Hitler was still probably a bit of a crazy psychopath because I don't think you can change that much, you know, over the course of a few years i want that peak between um you know there was that phase between early hitler and then violent hitler which is just the rise up as a politician where he was building shit that's the hitler that i want okay um and i i mean i would plot a murder

i would take him out i do all of that, but I'd let him build some stuff first. That's the point. And if the one person that Hitler hates the most is not on the island, I think that's the safest version of Hitler that you could get, right? Yeah, yeah. I mean, clearly, you know, you're not Jewish. Yes. You're also not, you know, you're quite far from being Aryan.

Really? That's what I wake up and tell myself in the morning. No. Yeah. really because that's what i wake up and tell myself in the morning no uh yeah no maybe her early hitler then he could paint and and prophesize yeah no no i'd go like build or hitler busy building infrastructure hitler yeah i can imagine sort of at times just when it's getting too much like hey um adolf i've put some like driftwood over there and some fashion i've made some inks out of natural materials. Do you want to use it?

You used to love a bit of painting. No? Oh, okay, okay. Calm down. You know, just be in vain. He finds one dog in the island. The dog becomes his best friend. That's where he exercises his demons and stuff like that.

Hitler was a dog lover by all accounts. Yeah, yeah, definitely. Okay, well, we've got a strong start then with hitler um who's gonna be joining the two of you i would say joe rogan okay yeah just just for nutrition you know what i mean like this one guy who would like haunt and you just know we're eating well every night you know what i mean because uh because he's just like yeah the venison and uh and you know every other animal under the sun barbecued would be great i mean you'd have to listen to him talk about vaccines and all that stuff and all that is fine but uh still uh joe rogan i think he'd teach us how to hunt he'd teach us archery

um and if shit went really badly we could eat him and you know that would be good meat as well you know joe rogan is like healthy meat yeah i guess it depends what sort of mad fad diet he's on at the time if he'd been like you know like when he last did serious psychoactive substances or something i think he would be good at teaching you the sort of physical man stuff about hunting but he'd also be quite boring about like he's such a mansplainer isn't he the way he was sort of like no no no you've got it all wrong bro i mean like don't eat like the nice meat of the animal like you got to get like the liver the eyeballs listen i wrote a whole blog about it and you know joe

like please just i'm just gonna eat bits of this animal like shut up now but wouldn't it be good to put him on the island with hitler and just see who who takes on who like that would be great yeah because at some point you know when hitler was getting out of control and trying to oppress the island there would be like a jujitsu chokehold and then that evening hitler's take you know what i mean i think that's uh, and plus, you know, he knows science and then you know at least five other alpha males would come looking

for Joe Rogan because of the influence that he wields in the world. And at least three of those alpha males own like rockets and shit. So you know they would find him. Like, you know, Elon Musk could be like I have to find my friend. So if there was a serious shot of getting out of the island, it would be like i have to find my friend uh so if there was a serious shot of getting out of the island it would be joe robin yeah i think i can imagine

him sort of suddenly running out of space on the rocket though when it came to like like oh wait we're all free and it's like ah sorry guys uh just me just just joe here i'm afraid but yeah he's such a weird man isn't he because he's sort of one part jock and then the other half he's sometimes talking about like just got to get into like psychedelics and smoking dope and stuff like that and it's like yeah right he's kind of like a hippie with muscles isn't he yeah yeah and then you can see how the two things converge and he gets into sort of conspiracy theorist and yeah yeah i mean he'd be great to talk to i think i don't i'm not worried about being booted off a rocket. I don't think anybody's ever booted an Indian off a rocket.

We usually design that stuff and make sure that it works properly. And then I think with him, you know, I get to do stand up with an appreciative audience because, you know, I can run jokes. But it's not like I'm running jokes by Hitler at any point. like that's that's never gonna happen like hey hitler what is up with no i don't i don't think that format is working at all i could run jokes yeah i love the idea of you trying to do stand up to hitler that would be the only person to stand up to hitler really locally uh yeah apart from the allies you know the newest person to stand up to hitler really locally uh yeah apart from the allies you know the newest person to stand up for hitler on a beach joe rogan's just such a strange person i think you just never know quite which way he'd go i think he could get on quite well with hitler

just because he'd sort of like i think he'd appreciate the power of him you know i think he's like yeah like people don't like guns i'm like hey what you're not attracted to power of course you love power i'm not saying like he's racist or wants to systematically end the jewish race but yeah you know i think there's like this is that part of joe rogan it doesn't quite make sense like who are you i don't understand what you are we'd find out with joe rogan on the island but i'm pretty sure hitler's created podcasting if you think about it like i think you know there's there's a podcasting if you think about it you know there's a Hitler experience podcast that would be you know slight level of volume

control required maybe some dynamics and some sound engineering he's only got like one full force setting he's always at 10 you might as well bring him down to a 5 so he has somewhere to go on his podcast really shouting like please like and subscribe.

Give us a rating. Just Hitler on a podcast like, tonight's episode is brought to you by... Just like doing sponsor links. Yeah, it's pronounced Squarespace. Hitler, Squarespace. Yeah, okay. Well, you've got two big alpha males there.

So who's going to be the third person? I'm interested to see how we mix this up. I'm going to go Halle Berry. Halle Berry. Just for old time. Yeah, there you go. Old time's sake. Okay.

Just because I think I have a shot on that island. And she's fit. And she's, like, super intelligent. And, you know, like, in case these two and she's like super intelligent and you know like in case these two guys kill each other uh i get fed uh and just like a childhood crush um and yeah i think you know halle berry that'd be nice okay on an island yeah i think i could i could wear her down just like i could wear her emotional standards down we're like we'd both be 60 by the time she hooks up with me but it'd be okay i think um well obviously you would want female companionship on the island i think it would add to the tension of the thing like you versus joe rogan like i think it would really

he would really resort to sort of a playground stereotype of just been like hey hallie look how many sit-ups i can do and you know you're like wow okay maybe can't match him for that maybe you're trying to go some more cerebral i don't know i think there'll be a lot of competition with you and joe hitler you're probably not competing with because you know she's not white no so that's like she's off the table also i don't think he's into women but uh that's just another thing of her uh but i also think like yeah joe rogan will be doing sit-ups and but then hallie berry could do more sit-ups than joe rogan if you actually think about it so i think we've got fitness covered and then i get to be like the sensitive guy like harry hallie i wrote a haiku you know and then she's like oh uh you know i didn't have any haikus written for me in los

angeles and i was like yeah and and then that's that, you know, love at first wreck. Yeah. I wonder if Hitler, despite not being physically attracted to her, would still be really angry that she wasn't attracted to him as, you know, the architect of the master race. You know, it's like, sure, everyone should bow down to him. I wonder if that would really piss him off. I think we'd have to, like, just create, like, like Germany was divided after the war, just create create like hitler's end of the island and then like our end of the island and ours is like love island and hitler's is just like i love myself yeah and

then we can you know yeah i can imagine him just sort of going off for a bit and then you almost forget about him and it's like who's fuck hitler's coming again he's still on the west side of the island like i said i don't need anything from you guys but uh yeah i'm gonna take some of your coconut so you can't just take all our coconuts just turning up and being a dick now and again and then hitler promises us he'd never annex the north side of the island and like joe rogan believes him and signs a deal and hallie and i are like joe you're being gullible right now just because you're both alpha males doesn't mean you can trust each other and Hitler and Joe sign a pact and then the next day Hitler annexes the north side of the island and then like Hallie has to declare war on Hitler but I don't really want to get into the war but then you know eventually I get into the war and

I win the war against it yeah for had fair enough I think it's a good game plan okay well the best of luck with that okay now thank you mercifully amongst the wreckage of the plane there was some food and drink left over unfortunately for you is your least favorite food and drink in the world what are they and why are they so bad it is uh protein shakes which i know is the best thing to have on an island but i just can't do it. It just, it tastes like diluted elf gum. Like, that's what protein shakes taste like to me. Like, I think it's Smurfs jacked off into a glass and added way too much water into it.

That's the average protein shake. So, I just don't like protein shakes. That's one. And then, does that qualify as drink or food that's drink right yeah i mean i guess technically you could say it's food but i will go for drink all right and then food wise i do you know not a huge fan of uh of sweet potato okay i don't know why yeah like i don't do the sweet potato fries i don't do the the yam stuff so just that yeah i don't need my potatoes to be sweet yeah i will go regular potato any day of the week

okay okay well we'll unpack these then so a protein shake yeah they're not that nice i mean so i've i've been going to the gym i've been trying to put on weights i've been having these protein shakes and I put so much nice stuff in them to try and make them taste good and it's still always a shock every day that they still turn out sort of grainy and dusty and I think mine are worse because I'm not a vegan but I've got vegan protein shakes you know I'm putting blueberries in there banana some honey all these things should make anything taste pretty good and I drink it I'm like this is less bad than it could have been but it's still pretty shit you know i mean if you're adding stuff to

your protein shake you might as well just not have the protein shake it's my point right if you're like i'm gonna add fat and sugar and chocolate and all the things i'm not supposed to have to this shake like what's the fucking point of the shake at some point i know i just think why don't i eat something that has this much protein in and is pleasant like you know some tuna or like whatever you know just but um i suppose it's just sort of lazy lazy modern culture it's like give me everything in one go also do they really work like isn't that the biggest conspiracy we're all like oh the covid vaccine doesn't work i think it works but isn't protein shake how many people do you know who are having protein shakes who are actually seeing results it's literally joe rogan

hallie berry and then you i think there's a three maybe they've got some they've probably got people making them good protein shakes and i'm just on the the shit cheap stuff that the normal people get or something yeah yeah i mean also i hate like talking about protein shakes is just a depressing thing oh you've never been on a film set before have you just with actors talking about intermittent fasting and protein shakes for like three months through a movie uh that's a joy always i bet yeah i can imagine there's one thing that's like have you seen that stuff called is it called huel and it's like it's like a complete meal in a drink so it's like one notch above protein shake so the idea is like hey you're a busy modern guy you're

on the go you ain't got time to eat food like some fucking dick from the past drink this and it's got apparently everything your body needs and that's you can just replace food with it and i'm like that's such a depressing idea you know like of course it is maybe now and again if you're really in a hurry and it's an emergency but like isn't that what the food's becoming in my stomach anyway yeah so yeah so it just feels like this slush that is in my stomach you took out of my stomach and are refeeding to me yeah which feels like you know haggis at some level like that's that's what that is it's just haggis philosophical haggis um on an island a hot desert island just just gulping down a thick protein shake and like yeah

yeah and having joe rogan telling you you're doing it wrong all the time yeah okay you gotta have more blueberries man you're not doing it right yeah and then um sweet potatoes okay yeah so i mean again you know quite a healthy thing to be stuck with you know it's like yeah a good source of of carbs but you know not too unhealthy way but anytime you get a sweet potato replacing a normal potato the normal version is usually more interesting, isn't it? Like normal chips better than sweet potato chips, you know. For sure. Yeah. Yeah.

But like I resent the guys who have a full burger with sweet potato fries. Like I'm just like, what are you doing? Yeah. You know. I mean, that's the Diet Coke on the side of a super-sized meal, isn't it, really? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. For chips or fries, like they're never, they're not fried. I mean, they're just floppy. You know, they're sort of like floppy sticks yeah floppy mash sticks you know and then they like they always season them with something obnoxious like especially at like good places you know where the sweet potato fries come out in like some sort of a vertical container with like some sort of paprika and shit on top of it i'm just like i didn't ask for paprika you assumed that i wanted it because you're charging me two pounds extra for these things

so i don't know i just i just resent the maybe it's not that i don't like sweet potatoes i just don't like people who like sweet potatoes i think that's my my central problem here it's not a thing that you want to live on forever i mean hit Hitler will probably like them because he's a vegetarian. No, I don't think Hitler was having a lot of sweet potatoes. I think there was a lot of strudel and steroids for Hitler. Not that different for the rest of the people on the island. We have protein shakes, strudel and steroids and sweet potatoes. What an ensemble we have

at this island. That's the other thing. Thinking of like Hitler on withdrawal symptoms from all the speed and shit that he used to take is going to be... Yeah.

I mean, that guy already had a temper. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. You're a podcast listener and this is a podcast ad. Reach great listeners

like yourself with podcast advertising from lips and ads choose from hundreds of top podcasts offering host endorsements or run a reproduced ad like this one across thousands of shows to reach your target audience with lips and ads go to lips and ads.com now that's l-i-b-s-y-n ads.com all right now veer fortunately you won't be without entertainment on the island the planes entertainment system continues to work but just your luck it only has two working settings one is your least favorite film of all time and the other is your least favorite song

what are they and why least favorite film of all time would be i want to say this is kind of a well I don't know if it's controversial or not but the fantastic beasts franchise okay just as as a serious Harry Potter fan I was gigantic you disappointed with everything that they did on that and then my least favorite song would be anything by Bob Dylan that has more than one instrument. OK, OK, well, let's deal with the film first. So you said you're a massive Harry Potter fan. Yeah. And where have they gone wrong with the Fantastic Beasts one?

Do you think they're just it's just cashing in and just trying to milk it as much as possible? It's just cashing in. And then they were supposed to have us invest emotionally in the Beasts. But then if you're just going to have like 95 cast members in a three-hour movie, I don't care about the Beasts so much. And then I think the lead actor, Eddie Romijn, is that his name? Eddie Romaine redman yeah redman is kind of the same guy in every movie uh which is you know i'm

not such a fan of and maybe like isn't it set in america i don't think americans can do magic i don't think there are american wizards i think that's like an exclusively british eastern european thing yeah it's the wizard or at least maybe a country that's very old so you think there might have been sort of like a long long tradition of magic or something like i can imagine an indian wizard you know like an african wizard you know like i can't just it's like you know a native american wizard but like yeah not like a modern yeah but i can't imagine like an american expel the ams like i can't imagine that you know you tried magic and you got david copperfield and david blake you know and then

those two guys who got eaten by a tiger yeah in las vegas like that's your magic yeah yeah we know your kind of stuff you haven't got old cobbled streets you don't get to have wizards i think american magic is just like look i have health insurance i can afford it that's magic you know like that's that's american magic yeah the police helped me yeah yeah i'm a person of color and they didn't assault me i must be a wizard this is my thing. I mean, in America, that's pretty good superpower. I mean, it's probably going to help you day to day

more than just like invisibility or flight, I think. But it's sort of naive of me to say, but, you know, sometimes I think with things like huge franchises or brands, it's like, I guess the point you're like, haven't you had enough? You know, and there will be fans out there who will never have enough and it's like everything you'll just consume and consume but you know there's that harry potter play in london and it's really expensive and it's

two really long parts and i just think if you're going to keep milking this thing at least make it like manageable chunks for people because it's not fair to like yeah put everyone through that and make all the money i just think like make it easy like you've got your you've got your side of the deal just calm it down a bit stop going so far with everything or like bring right daniel radcliffe out on stage every performance at least give them that yeah and i'm not saying naked daniel radcliffe just daniel radcliffe you know i think that's the way to do it. Just contractually obliged forever. Just cooking. Yeah. Tired.

Every time that plays performed anywhere, Daniel Radcliffe has to show up because he sold his soul when he was six. Yeah. Just comes out smoking drunk. He's like, yeah, what's my line? Fuck it.

Don't care. Shut up. Have you had enough? Yeah. You fucking geeks. You took my childhood. You took my happiness. My wife hates me. I'm Harry Potter., you fucking geeks. You took my childhood. You took my happiness. My wife hates me.

I'm Harry Potter. Fuck you. Good night. Like, I would pay so much money to see that. It's amazing. Yeah, I mean, I'm not even a fan of the franchise, and I'd pay to go and see that, I think. Yeah.

There you go, J.K. Rowling. There's your next hit. Yeah, yeah. Okay, and song-wise? Anything with Bob Dylan and and instruments of course yeah yeah bob dylan is one of those people i've never really been able to get on board with as much as i feel i should be you know it's like you hear the name before you've even heard his music you've heard of bob dylan you know he's like just one of those iconic names and then i remember like

hearing him i was like oh right oh yeah i don't think it's for me you know it's really like i really want to but i think if you take him out of that 60s scenario i think he's one of those guys where i mean he can write you know he can write but the older he got he just discovered that he couldn't sing you know what mean? Because the voice just got raspier and more out of tune and deeper and it didn't have beautiful, subtle guitar sort of backing it up. The minute you put him in front of a big band, ironically, instead of hiding him, they exposed him

as a vocalist, I think. I don't think there's ever been a vocalist, a singer whose voice has gone through that much of a change over their life. You hear great Motown singers and then nowadays you're like okay they don't have the power anymore but it's all right they're 70 like fair enough but him it's like you've gone for sort of like now it's just like i've heard recordings and i thought someone was just is this a joke it's like no it's really Bob Dylan. I got him. Like, sounds like he sort of lives in a cave or something.

It's like if Ed Sheeran aged into Macy Gray, like that's the, that's the artistic journey that Bob Dylan has been on. Yeah. Any artists that you love only having access to the music of theirs that you hate is really like, I'm a big David Bowie fan, but I'm the first to admit,

you know, there's some challenging work in there that, you know,'m not that happy with and if i only got the stuff of his i hated i mean it'd just be so miserable like trying to pick out the good bits but you know it's the laughing gnome and there's nothing to like about that really and it's also the artist at the peak of their production powers and at the bottom like without any struggle whatsoever and that's always a shitty album you know what i mean the minute they're like let's add a ukulele and and five australian didgeridoo's to this one track that is about me walking to the fridge no yeah yeah a

friend of mine um once said musicians have a contract where you get 10 years or five albums like that's it but you can't and after that you have to stop and i admit there are flaws with this plan but sometimes you just kind of think yeah you could have just stopped and it would be all right you know but yeah or you continue to play that 10-year catalog forever like you just do what the rolling stones do and then just kind of go and be like no we just made three hours of music and we're going to pretend like the rest of it doesn't exist and then just go yeah although i mean with bob dylan he can play his most famous early hits these days and people don't realize sometimes you know i had a friend when i see him he was like

afterwards he's like oh that was that song like i didn't realize till like halfway through that's what you were doing it was so different and i mean it must get really boring playing the same stuff over and over again but uh the same yeah just talking about a war that doesn't exist anymore like the answer was blowing in the wind then blew in the wind now there's no wind uh you know there's no war it's just all done so what like how many roads we know how many roads like it's just you know there's no mystery anymore to the song yeah fair play fair enough okay now finally the island is overrun by the biggest dick of all the animals which animal is it and why i would say a you know a seagull seagulls are assholes let's be let's be honest about this pretentious assholes yeah they really are a too big for a bird b no business eating that

much human cuisine c always obstructing the view of something that is trying to go on instagram who's just into human memory and be inedible nobody eats a seagull so really what purpose to use her apart from transporting the crab to the little mermaid when she was in crisis that that's the only real or like helping nemo's dad out uh those are the only two things a seagull has ever done useless Useless bird. Yeah, yeah. I used to live in Brighton on the south coast, and it's like full of seagulls. And when you first get off the train,

you're like, oh, that's so nice. I'm by the seaside. And then like minutes later, they steal all your food and like attack your children. And you just think, you're a complete bastard. I mean, they have got sort of vicious to the point where it's like i mean i think they're our most aggressive animal in this country which i mean to be able to say that it's a lot about britain to be honest with you guys yeah yeah i mean we're quite lucky top of your

mountain like you guys need to level up the animals in this country a little bit i'm just saying like you know in india we have tigers and lions you know i'm saying like how are you guys you're like oh fuck seagulls i gotta run i know but that's that's the thing i mean like obviously you trump us for like good animals but i mean like it's depressing that that is that's what ours is and it's like like they've kind of gone they've skewed the food food chain so much you know it's like you're attacking us for food now like this is so wrong it's like yeah they're not nice peaches i saw a seagull eating a falafel the other day you know in edinburgh it's just like the fuck is that like it was on the floor outside a chip shop a seagull eating a falafel and i'm like this makes no sense

yeah they're getting into sort of intelligence now and they're like i think i'll have the healthy option today i mean this is their next step of evolution they're becoming more dangerous i think so just like lactose-free seagulls they're like i'm gonna skip tahini sauce i'm just gonna do just strict falafels baked only yeah when you see them doing pilates it's really time to start grouping together and getting to the bunker, I think. Yeah, I mean, an island of seagulls. I mean, it sounds picturesque in a way, but knowing what they're actually like, it's going to be pretty hard work. And also, I mean, like the ones in Brighton, they don't even sleep at night anymore.

Like they're just always up all the time. It's like someone's giving them speed. It's like they never, ever switch off. So you hear them in the daytime, in the nighttime night time they're like they're just this weird breed i i kind of wouldn't be surprised if one day you found out they're all just robots or something it'd be weird if they were like the alien device that was planted like a thousand years ago saying one day when we come back seagulls are going to be the device that that kind of helps the aliens take over you know yeah yeah well just after we're all gone it's like you know we've had the dinosaurs

we had the little bit where humans are in charge and then it's just fucking seagulls for the next few million years aliens for five minutes they're like no uh yeah it's like these humans are really rude yeah it's like it's like us visiting glasgow're just like, this was fun. It's been five minutes. Now let's go. Okay, Vier, I think you've done a great job today of compiling a list of people and things that would drive you totally mad. And I think the interplay between the characters on your island is superb. So it's definitely going to drive you mad.

So well done. Thank you, man. I hope you'll survive there. But for now, you're in edinburgh you've got i'm in edinburgh i've got 25 shows at the pleasance beneath uh i'm on at 5 25 every night and the show is called wanted um and yeah please come see me and we can check out more of your stuff on twitter and online of course yes uh i'm the vidas on twitter not because i'm arrogant it's because vidas was taken uh vidas on instagram and then vidas.in is my website for tickets uh because i'm also touring the uk between the 1st of september and the 13th of september so we're doing about eight cities brilliant nice one well we'll all try and catch your work as you go around and uh thank you

for joining us today on desert island dicks it's been a pleasure thank you for joining us today on Desert Island Dicks. It's been a pleasure. Thank you, man. Cheers. Take care. So there you go. Hope you enjoyed that one as much as I did recording it. And yeah, more to come. So watch this space or rather listen to it as it is an audio medium um it would be lovely if you could subscribe to this podcast or give us a rating and a review especially that would be wonderful if you're one of those people like listen mate i'm just fucking listening to this on my commute i don't need you telling me to go and press the button and leave me a rating and review and there are people like that and you

have told us that's all right but maybe mention to your friends i listened to this on my way into work and it made me smile so maybe you will like it too you know the word of mouth thing is is underrated i think so uh let's let's do a bit of that sort of marketing shall we i think that's it so i just want to point out that desert island dicks is a sync clap production what that means is it was created by James Deacon. He came up with the idea. He used to host it. Then he let me host it and I produce it as well.

I'm Dan, by the way. And then we get all the audio and we give it to a man called Chris Attaway and he edits it beautifully. So thanks for that, Chris. If you need someone to edit your podcast, let us know because Chris is very good. Also, John Deacon. Thanks for all your support, support john it's a big help and we appreciate it and we hope you're well uh i think that's about it um yeah that is it thanks for listening bye