Desert Skies - Chapter 14 - The Places and People We Loved

Episode Date: June 17, 2024

The staff have taken to the skies and the 18th Sphere is their prize. Well, not really their prize but still, no reason this job can't be both business and pleasure. The Sphere of Doug is in trouble and it's up the team to save it. And maybe have a Cinnabon while they're at it. Join Club 86 Visit our Merch Store Join the Discord Visit our Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Ah, yeah, let's go! Hey, sir, in that bit. Flying over the eight sphere always gives a bit of a bump to the keister. Make sure you're buckled in. I hate to hear you going bumping around pinball style inside the fuselage. No, sir, right? Not a good time. You heard him.

I'm not wearing my seatbelt, man. This is way, way, way too fun. I'm glad you're having fun, Mac. Really, but you're going to bounce into me. And that would not be fun. for either of us. Understood. Thanks.

How you feeling about flying? Well, I still can't bring myself to look out the window. And every time the engine makes a sound, I assume a propeller is flying off and the turbulence is making me regret eating those nachos before we took off. Aside from that, I'm doing better than I expected. Good, good, you're doing great! risk of severe turbulence so you can take off those seatbelts and move about the cabin as you wish. Sounds like we left the 8th fair. I'm going to the cockpit. You want to come? No thanks. I'm going to stay here and try to stabilize. You do that, bud. Howdy, howdy? How's it going in here?

I don't know. What do you think there, Gash? How's it going? It's going great. It's been so long since I've gotten to learn the ins and outs of new machinery. She's a fantastic student. Reminds me a Speaking of, where'd she go? Oh yeah, you really want to hear about that? She's at a demolition derby on the physical plane. A demolition derby. That's when people driving junk cars wreck into each other on purpose. Last car running wins.

That sounds absolutely kick-ass and amazing, and I'm gonna try it when we get back. What's the story? Did you and Betty like to watch those when you were back on the physical plane? Oh, sure. We loved watching them. Super dangerous, though. Are you sad that Petty's watching them? them without you. She's not watching them. She's driving in one. Holy crap. Can you die doing that? Oh sure, but I mean, that almost never happens. Driver's got to wear helmets and can't run into other cars driver door. You got to wear a seatbelt, but... But... I bet he's not really wearing a seatbelt.

She stitched a shirt that looks like it's got a shoulder strap across it, and her helmet is made out of it, and I kid you not. Paper machet. I mean, points for creativity. Betty with a death wish. Hey, that could be a band name. That could be a band name. Gash, pop quiz. Name five of the instruments here in the cockpit. Airspeed indicator, RioStat, turn blank, indicator, primer instrument panel, instrument panel, light, altimeter, control column, mixture, control, tension adjustment... Okay, okay, okay, okay, you pass.

Can I fly it now? Maybe we save the test flight for when we don't have passengers, okay? Okay. I'm headed back to the cabin. All right, I'll let you know when we're beginning our descent. Sounds good. Hey, bud. How are things in the cockpit?

it. Great. Greg's teaching Cash how to fly. She's picking up quick, 10. Like, I think she's already got it. That's cool. You didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. Plane's okay. Everything's working. Yep, everything's good. You sure you don't want the tape player? Cash made you that relaxing mixtape with all your favorite chill songs. And I brought some headphones for you. Maybe on the way back. For now, I need to listen to the engines to make sure they keep working. Andy, if they stop working, you can't do anything about it. Just the same. Thanks, Mack.

Why don't you use them instead? Don't mind if I do. Deep breaths. We'll be there soon. Enjoy the music. Thanks, bud. I will. Whoa, well, what?

I didn't look at the tires when we took off. Did they look like they were a fool? Like, completely aired up to the right amount of pressure? Oh, yeah, yeah. I looked. They looked real good. Okay. Sorry to bother you. Thanks, Mac. Anytime, bud. All right, everybody, we're beginning to descend into the 18th sphere. Take a look out the window.

It's a gorgeous sight. Very reminiscent of landing at night back on the physical plane. Mack, what? We're about to land. Wow. That is pretty. I've never seen so many lights. Look, Tend.

I even got streets. street lamps. It's like a gigantic neighborhood. And what in the sphere is that building? Look, Tendi. I'll wait until I can see it horizontally. Suit yourself. Don't clap, man. Why? It makes you look like a dork. Really? Congrats on taking your first flight, Tandy. You did great. I'll get that door open for you. and give me a moment to put this step down. I'm so excited, man. Thanks for letting us go, Tendi.

I know this trip was meant to be more business than pleasure, but... But there's no reason it can't be a little of both. Exactly. All right, all ready for you to depart the cabin. Oh, yeah. Let's go. Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you for getting us here safely, Greg. I told you I'd know how to fly, Dandy. You wouldn't believe the storm that brought me down back on the physical plane.

No way I could have avoided that. the world is that building. It must take up half the sphere. Oh, I was so hoping you'd get to see this place soon, Mac. Read the sign. The Dougville Mall, a place for the places you love. It's a mall? Wait until you get inside. You're going to love it. But before we go inside, I think we need to take a moment to talk about... Mac? Mac, wait. Where are you going? It's not my fault, Tandy. You know I don't have impulse control. I can't even control my body right now. It's making me going to the mall. I smell pretzels tandy. I smell cinnamon buns. Hey, Mack?

Where'd you go? In here, guys. K-B Toys. Look at this, Tendi. It's called a Magd. A magna what? A magna doodle. I doodle a picture like this.

Is that supposed to be a dog? A dog? That's kind of insulting. It's way, way. Ding, ding, ding, ding. Good job, Cash. Now check this out. I slide this thing here.

Boom. Erased. What else can I draw? Oh, I know. Check this out, Tandy. Recognize this guy. Let's see. Big nose, gap in the teeth,

slicked back hair. Oh, I know this one. It's Cody Murphy. The guy who tried to bite me when I told him he was dead. Yeah, I had to lay him out. I still get a little tense in the shoulders when I think about that guy. I know, but check this out. Slide this over.

Okay. He's gone. Look at that. So long, Cody. That's really cool, Mac. Can we get one? We don't have any money. Oh, yeah, that's right.

You don't need any money. Uh... Hi, KB toy store, Doug. Hi, Cash. You surprised us. It's good to see you again, Doug. Last time wasn't the best of circumstances. More like nice to meet you.

Duck doesn't know who the heck you are. Oh? Tendi, this isn't the dog that was with so chillicue during the assault on the station. Oh, no. Not this, Doug. Doug's schedule. Not to mention, value system would never allow it. Anyways, the Magna-Doodle is, sorry name.

Oh, I'm Tendi. This is Mack. We're the attendance of Desert Skies. and this is our friend Greg. You seem to already know catch. Indeed, Doug does. The magnadoodle is Tendi and Max. Doug hopes you enjoy it. Now, may Doug interest you in one of these bad boys.

Talk boy? What's it do? Allow Doug to show you. I simply press the record button and speak into the microphone. Like so, credit card, you got it. And then Doug simply rewinds it and slides this here to play the recording back at a slower speed. That's amazing. What's with the whole credit card you got it, thing? It's a quote from Doug's favorite Christmas movie, Home Alone 2, Lost in New York,

which is currently playing at the Dougie Mark Theater, along with 4,500, 16 other films. 4,516. Hey, you don't happen to have strange brew playing, do you? Sure do. It's a Canadian masterpiece. All right, fellas. Look, whatever's going on here. I think it's probably a job meant for you three and not for me. Doug, which way's the theater? Just head that way and go past the food court. You can't miss it. Greg, what about when it's time to leave? How can we find you? Let's see here. Hey, Doug, you got any of those walkie-talkies?

Only the best of the best Give Doug just a moment I'll be right back I really really want to go to the food court guys Can we please go to the food court I'm sure at some point Mac But remember We're here because the sphere of Doug

Needs our help Alright I almost forgot Okay okay Here you go Our Go Captain Power walkie-talkies Produced by Mattel Got enough for each of you Now

Chetandi Mac, Mac, Cash and Greg need to talk. You just hold down this button and talk. Here's some extra 9-volt batteries should you need them. Thanks, Doug. Can you tell us what's happening? We got a call from some of you saying that the sphere of Doug is in trouble, that you needed our help.

The sphere of Doug is in trouble, and Doug's do need your help. Right, but what's going on? Attention hall mall shoppers and my beautiful fellow dogs. This is Beth the Body Works Dog. Speaking, in light of this remarkably sombered situation we have found ourselves in, all mall operations are ceasing indefinitely. Shoppers, please make all your final selections and leave them all in short order. Ducks, please close your stores and gather in the mall.

and gather in the mall atrium. The mall's closing? At least you didn't say anything about the food court. One more thing. This also applies to all food service and theater dogs. No! Don't worry. Once the attendants have helped the sphere of Doug,

Doug's sure that we'll resume operations. Mac really must try one of our hot dogs on a stick. Okay. Probably for the best. Come on, guys. Let's go see what we can do to help. With Amex Platinum, $400 in annual credits for travel and dining

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Oh, just fine. Camie toy stores, Doug. Just fine. Doug's a huge fan of white diamond perfume, as you know. Same, Doug. What about Borders Bookstore? How's that going Borders Bookstore, Doug? Oh, real good.

We just got the new Michael Jackson. Doug loves Michael Jackson. Doug feels weird close in this store. Does any dog know what's going on? Oh, they got the fountain working again. Doug loves this place. Piano. in the hopes we can get this problem fixed.

What's gonna happen if Doug never comes back? Hello, Dugs. It is I, Bath and Body Works, Doug. Let's take a moment to show some appreciation for piano playing, Doug. Truly soul-soothing stuff, Doug, truly helpful melodic relaxation-inducing stuff that is so needed in this dark days.

Well done, Doug. Absolute treasure piano. piano day. I need to learn how to play. Where can a dog get less? Dugs! We're to spread throughout the sphere so Doug's sure that what he's about to say will come as no surprise. Dog is missing. What? This is the first time dumpster Doug's hearing about this. I'm sorry, dumpster Doug. To be fair, you were probably in the dumpster. Dumpster Ducks just trying to make sure everyone's recycling. And we thank you, Dumpster Dug. As I was saying, our beloved dog is missing.

At first, there was no reason to be alarmed. Sometimes, Doug likes to many called Fallone, but we check there. No, Doug. Sometimes, Doug watches the movie Honeysuckle Rose by himself. That's a terrible movie. Yeah, well, nobody asks Sharper Image, Doug. That's the best movie of all time, and all we ducks love it. So keep your opinion to yourself, kindly.

Love your store, by the way. Anyways, Doug wasn't there. We checked everywhere. Now, Doug knows we all love Doug, and we have to do something to find him. I would ask that all Dougs begin their search of the sphere of Doug. Surely, if enough of us devote our time to looking, we'll get the job done.

Radio Shack, Doug, here we need flashlights and lots of batteries. On it! Old-timey general store, Doug? Yes. A rational hard tech for each dog. Okay. Now, a few more things I want to mention.

So, listen to Doug. First, check your storerooms. I'm not trying to be rude, but why did they call us out here just to look for a Doug? There has to be hundreds, maybe thousands of them. I'm sure the Dugs can find him on their own. I'm gonna ask. Hey, Doug. I'm sorry, Traveler.

Sorry, traveler, but this is Doug only business. Spheres closed. Please return to your Buick Skylark and continue on your journey to the afterlife. We're not travelers. We're the attendants. You called us. Bath and Body Works, Doug, did no such thing. No, you didn't.

I did. In 1987 KB toy store, Doug. But why? The prime mover told us to only call the attendants when absolutely necessary. This could have been handled in-house. No, I couldn't. Some of us have been paying attention to Doug's behavior for a while now. Something's wrong.

He never stops by tomorrow's for his pepperoni slice anymore. It's been ages since we've seen him for his regular viewing of honeysuckle rose. Something's wrong with Doug. Sure, we can all band together and find him. But if Doug's run away because something's wrong, he's just going to do it again. We gotta get to the heart of this. And if anybody's gonna figure out what's got Doug's gourd, it's the attendance. All they do is help people get to the heart of their problems.

Travelers talk about them all the time. They do. Guys, no offense. What's so special about this missing Doug that you called us? I mean, I'm sure you're all special. Don't get me wrong, but we got a job to do back at the station. This isn't just any, Doug. This is sphere mover, Doug.

sphere mover, Doug, he's missing? Yeah, we looked everywhere. Understand, this is not good, not good at all. Look, I get that you care about the guy, and we'll help you find him, and I'm sure he's okay, but can't one of you just become the new sphere mover if, say, Doug is completely moved on from this place, left the sphere? Maybe Doug didn't dig it. But Doug did dig it, didn't he, Doug?

Did he Doug? Did he Doug? Did he, Doug? Did Doug dig it, Doug? Of course, Doug did dig it, Doug. Doug, dug it. So you're saying... Mac, don't do it.

Okay. Guys, Mac's right, isn't he? Can't another Doug just step up and take over? At least in the interim. Like, maybe you, Bath and... Body Works. Bath and Body Works, Doug. Oh, Doug, appreciate your vote of confidence, but I'm no sphere mover.

Why not? Because I don't have the power of sphere mover, Doug. 1987 KB Toy Store's Doug, did you sing the song for him? No, I didn't have time. Well, let's get to it. Piano playing, Doug. To the keyboard, please. Okay.

I am now keyboard, Doug. Alright, you ready for this, Doug? Yeah! Come, Doug! They kick it. A whole ensemble! Welcome, friend, to the sphere of Doug. To the sphere of Doug.

Doug! Let us tell you what we're all about. Look around, Ducks, and tell me what you see. A song-cose video in KFC! Laser tag in a fast crew shop! A Walmart house of Denny's. Oh, look, I hopp. Dug sees a tavern from colonial times. Dug sees a Kmart and a five in diamond.

Is it coming together? Do you understand? The sphere of Ducks are happy memory land. The sphere of Ducks a happy memory land. The sphere of Ducks are a happy memory land. What? What? What? Wait you'll see when a traveler arrived on the sphere of dog

To dip into their memories to find what they love We find a favorite person find a favor of place That they loved the most back in their physical days And we let them spend a moment with their memories here That we send them on their way and their person disappears But the places that they love will they stay behind And popular sphere for the rest of all time So that everyone in business can be full of good cheer

The sphere of dog is the sweetest of spears The sphere of dog is the sweetest of spears Stop stop stop Ah? Seriously, we had like literally one more line to see. I'm sorry, I think we get the point. I mean, maybe. You're saying travelers who visit your sphere?

Travelers who visit the sphere of duck are granted two amazing gifts. Their favorite place, down to the final detail. Maybe it was a KB toy store from 1987. Maybe at KFC back when they still have buffets. Maybe it was the house they grew up in The giant neighborhood we saw Or it could be the tree where they got their first kiss Or the stadium where they saw their favorite team play

Or the hipster theater where they went to midnight showings Of the Rocky Horror Picture Show Every place they could ever want to return to Stay out of the adult section Okay How can your sphere hold all of this? Don't know Maybe it's growing

It's never been a problem In addition to their favorite place They also get their favorite person The person they love the most And that person spends a little time with them And then they disappear when the traveler leaves the sphere of dog Are these people in their memories alive or dead?

Oh, both It doesn't matter They're not really here They're more like a memory Come to life Here for a moment gone the next. This place is not what I was expecting.

I had no idea. We dogs tend to keep our operations under reps. After 17's fears, it's a nice surprise for travelers. A little more than halfway to the next life, it gives them a boost they need to continue on their journey. That's so sweet. Great, have you? Well, I let them do my favorite place one time.

It was Mindy's, which was Betty and I's favorite bar. And I'm assuming your favorite person. Yeah, didn't need to conjure up her memory because she was already floating here with me. We stopped back at the bar a couple times since. Nice little spot, even if it's got a dug behind the bar instead of a Mindy. Well, I'd like to go sometime. Attendance. Doug thinks maybe KB Toy Store Doug is right.

If we even do find him, something's wrong with sphere mover, Doug. Maybe you can help him. Maybe you can save our sphere from becoming. just the sweetest of all the malls. Attendance, I think we should split up. You and Matt can go together in case you find him and can talk to him. Greg and I can go separately and radio you if we find him. Good idea, Cash.

You ready, Matt? Sure I am. Doug, if we can help your sphere mover, will the mall reopen? I kind of want to eat something from every single restaurant you have here. You help our sphere mover. We'll serve it all up. Buffet style.

Big Mac's... Mac. Boom's over my hammy. Dippin' Dots will whole array. Let's go help a sphere mover. So this is the sphere of Doug. I'm gonna be honest, man.

The first time I saw that little guy and he said this was the sweetest of all the spares. I thought maybe he meant it was like a candy store or something. Here we are walking through the ginormacest freaking suburb. That's funny you say that.

I was kind of imagining a place with mountains made of ice cream and maybe bridges forged from Kit Katz. That would have been pretty sweet. Pun intended. But it's so much more than that. It's better. You're right, Tendi. It's a whole different kind of sweet. Pretty surprising from a sphere mover that acts more like a cartoon character than a human bane. Cartoon character. That's not cool. Oh, hey, Doug. Sorry about that. We didn't know you were here.

Oh, it's fine. I'm Lasertag Doug, and Laser Tag Doug knows we Dougs are a little cartoony. But our cartoonishness is not reflective of reality, as I'm sure you can attest to. Oh, absolutely. That's what we were talking about. This place is truly remarkable. And not just that, the work you do here is probably the kindest imaginable. What's you doing? Oh, Doug came out to grab the evening paper, and noticed the juniper bush was looking a little unkempt. And who might I ask are you? We're the attendants from desert skies. Is that right? Well, welcome. You're a little out of your jurisdiction, aren't you? Maybe. I think the job responsibilities of an attendant are expanding. Expanding? Yeah, like, attending to more than just the

station. That's why we're here, actually. We're looking for sphere mover Doug. Oh, I see. Doug, I don't understand something. Maybe you can help me. What's that? This sphere. We're a little blown away by the work you do here. It seems like maybe the most loving thing you can do for travelers. All the Doug's working together to keep the mall operating, giving people the space to spend another moment with the people they love.

Doug agrees. I'm proud of the work we do here. Then why did sphere mover Doug join forces with? so Chilacue to bring an end to the station. You'd have to ask sphere mover Doug that. Why do the attendants think I'm out here pruning my juniper bushes instead of out there with the rest of the ducks, trying to find him? Because you're lazy?

Lazy? I'm laser-tag-dug, not lazy-tag, Doug. You ever tried to manage a laser tag arena, replacing all those black lights, refilling fog machines and recharging laser guns? It's exhausting, and I do it all. the time. Sorry for calling you lazy. I'm not out there because sphere mover Doug forgot what the sphere of Doug is all about, joining that despicable crusade, stealing travelers and making an army.

And what? Sphere mover Doug hates us, the other Doug's. What makes you say that? Doug heard him say it. Heard him talking to Zochilicue. I was refilling the fog machine in the laser tag arena. When sphere mover Doug and sphere mover's O'Chilicue came in to talk, they thought they were alone. She asked Doug to help her build an army. He didn't hesitate. He just agreed. I think she was surprised because she said she expected more pushback. That's when Doug said it. He said he was tired of us, tired of the other dogs. He wanted to steal travelers just so he wouldn't have to deal with us anymore. Lasertag Doug doesn't say this lightly. After the confrontation at the desert sphere, sphere mover Doug returned, deflated. We resumed operations, but sphere mover Doug

was never the same. He stopped enjoying the things he'd enjoyed before. Stopped hanging out at his favorite haunts. And you know what? Laser Tag Doug could care less. Let that traitor go. Good riddance. But what about his powers? How are people's favorite people in place is going to keep showing up if Sphere mover Doug isn't around to make it happen? That is unfortunate. Doug agrees.

But Sphere mover Doug had stopped doing that anyways. He said his heart just wasn't in it anymore. Wow. I'm sorry you feel that way, Doug. I think I can understand at least a little what that might feel like. But listen, maybe we can find out what's wrong. What's really wrong with Doug?

That is, if we can find him. You really think you can help sphere mover, Doug? I don't know, but we can try. I think I know where he is, where he might be, and know Doug he's going to find him. Why? Where is he? The photon laser tag arena. What makes you think he's there?

Because he hates laser tag. All the Dougs do. It's because they're scared of the dark. But you work there. That's why Laser Tag Doug was assigned to it. I kind of love the dark, and I freaking love Laser Tag. Will you show us the way? Yeah, I can do that.

But you got to do something for me. What's that? Play Lasertag with Laser Tag Doug, when this is all over. That's a quid pro quo I'm happy to get behind. I'm in. Let's go find us a duck. When you get in. Inside, you're gonna need these.

What in the heck are they? Night vision goggles. Got him off Bass Pro Shop, Doug. Here's what Doug recommends. Go in, move slow, stay quiet. Surprise him. If he knows you're inside looking for him, he's likely to try slipping out the back exit.

Got it. Cash, Greg. We're at the photon laser tag, and we have reason to believe sphere mover Doug may be inside. You should head over when you can. over when you can. Ready Mac? Ready. Let's do this. Tendi, these glasses are so cool. I wonder if they'll let us keep a pair. Yeah, I could see that coming in handy back at home. I like that. Like what?

That you call it home. Yeah, I didn't even notice I said that. I guess we've never been gone long enough for me to think of it that way. Home, it's where the heart is. Do you see anything? Nope, not yet. Welcome, friends. The Sphere of Doug. Just fear of Doug. Let me tell you what we're all about. That's quiet.

Sorry. I really like that song. No, I mean, listen. Dog is all alone. Even when they're all around, come. Come on. Let's go.

Hanging out of the laser tag place, sitting on my home. Why do I even try when I'm so lonely? Doug! Mack! Sorry, Lasertag Doug said to surprise him. Oh, Lasertag Doug, huh? That little shit.

Hey, he's not a shit. He just wanted us to help you. Help me. Who are you? You sound familiar. Mac and Tendi. From Desert Skies. Oh, I'm sorry about that, guys.

I feel real bad for trying to destroy you. Are you here to exact your revenge? You can point laser guns at my eyes. Yes, we are here to exact our revenge. Prepare to face judgment. Mack. I'm just kidding. We're here to find out what in the heck is going on with you, Doug.

Your brethren are worried. They're looking everywhere. They're not my brethren. Laser Tag Doug said something about that. You told Zochilicue you're tired of the other Doug's. Enough to start stealing travelers and building an army for her. Why do you hate the other Doug so much? Doug never said he hates them.

I'm just tired of seeing them. It makes me sad. The other Doug's, they're not real. What do you mean? Before the highway, I had travelers to keep Doug company. At least some of the time, I was lonely, but I love the work I did. Doug got to help so many people delighting travelers with their favorite person and their favorite place. Then Doug would send them on their way a little more peaceful than they were before.

Then they built the first highway. Travelers didn't stop here anymore. They just drove right through. Doug got even lonelier than before. You see, I was all alone. There were no other dogs. I had to do something, something that would make that lonely feeling go away. So Doug did for himself, but before, that only done for travelers. Doug made his favorite person.

I know it sounds a little narcissistic, but that person, they were me. Well, good on you for loving yourself, no shame there. Yeah, Doug didn't have much of a choice. You spend that much time alone. I'm alone, you really only care about one person. After I'd brought Doug to me, we enjoyed each other's company for a while, but it got a little depressing hanging out with myself all the time, so I... I...

Made more of yourself. That's right. Doug beget Doug's a plenty. Soon there were thousands. I gave them jobs to do, and eventually the sphere of Doug really lived up to its name. I loved it for a while Me and a bunch of my new friends in the best park We had everything in common

But all that time I couldn't help but think about the fact that They're not real They're just memories of Doug We like all the same foods All the same movies All the same activities Whenever a traveler leaves a sphere Their favorite person will disappear

Just a wisp of something that doesn't exist. It's hard to explain what it's like to be surrounded by so many others. Still be all alone. But you got travelers stopping by again. That should help, right? Yeah, but now they got so many other dogs to spend time with. They don't need me like they used to. It gets worse.

The more time dogs spent with the other dogs, the more I started to see things about. them that I didn't like. Little things, quirks, their voice, their taste in movies, then I realized that maybe I didn't like myself as much as I thought. So when Sochilic you told me about stealing travelers, I didn't hesitate. I thought maybe if I stole them, they might want to be my friends, but I was wrong. People don't like being stolen. And now, I think maybe it's time for me to go away. Find some new friends on another sphere.

If anyone will have me, you guys hiring? Fully staffed at the moment. And even if we weren't, I don't think you should leave. What's the point? You have a job to do here, and a purpose. Doug can't stand the side of Doug's anymore. Does the attendant understand? I'm tired of it.

I can't do it. Hey, I just realized something. What? Black lights are really cool. I want something for my basement. But also, Doug, you said the people's favorite people disappear when they leave the sphere. So? Then why did they stay when you left and came to Desert Skies?

When you came back, they were all still here, right? Oh, yeah, Doug thought about that. Admittedly, it doesn't make much sense, but it doesn't change the fact. that we're all the same. No, we're not. Who in the Doug is that? I can't see you in the dark. It's me.

Laser Tag, Doug. Laser Tag, Doug? What are you talking about? We're all the same. You hate Laser Tag. Yeah, it's too dark. I love Laser Tag. It's the greatest game ever invented.

I disagree. That's the point. You say you're tired of us because we're just you, but if that's the case, why do I love the ultimate best game of all time, which incorporates elements of dexterity, role-playing in aerobic exercise, in a fun and safe laser environment, and you despise it? Okay, that is different. But, well, that's just one example. Is it, though?

Who's there? Who's that? It's me. Sharper image does. Sharper image, Doug. What do you mean? Is it, though? Honestuckle Rose. Yes, the perfect movie. Continue. I do not like it.

What? And I hate watermelon. And I don't like rainy days by the fire. I hate taking walks by the beach. And I can't stand buying pizza by the slice. I want the whole pie. What in the sphere is going on here? Dugs, you're all...

Different, but how? How is that possible, K.B. Toy stores, Doug? I think I know. I think I probably understand better than anyone. What does the attendants mean? I know what it's like to try to make someone turn into a someone who's just like you. Someone who shares all your likes and dislikes, who values exactly what you've, who values exactly what you've. value the same way you value it. You want the perfect friend. But that's not a friend at all.

The travelers who come through here, you give them a moment with their favorite person. And for that moment, they're so overwhelmed with joy that they forget that the people they loved on the physical plane were just people. That they were good. But they weren't perfect. Travelers stay for a little while, and they enjoy. their visit and then they continue on their journey.

But you, you were with your Dugs for so long that you started noticing things about them that you didn't like. You realized they weren't perfect, even though you had everything in common. Doug, you told us you don't hate the other Dugs. I don't hate the other Dugs. I love the other Dugs. I just got tired of being around the same people all the time. But listen to him, something's changed.

They're not the same people as you. I think what Tendi's saying is you loved them even when you didn't always like them. And that's when they stopped being more than just your ideal best friend. Because you loved them for exactly who they are. And that freed them to be themselves. That made them real. At least that's what I think happened. You mean all the other dogs?

They're not just me. You know what? I don't want to be called KB Toy Stores Doug anymore. In fact, that's not my name. What are you saying, Doug? I'm saying, I'm not Doug. I haven't been Doug for a while. I am.

Let me consider this for a moment just to make sure I'm entirely certain. I am from this time forward, Jeremy. Hey, I like that name. As much as I love Sharper Image, I too wish to no longer be called Sharper Image, Doug. I'm Corey. Yeah, and I'm not KFC, Doug. I'm Eric.

And I'm not movie theater, Doug. I'm Sparky. That's a dog's name. I'm not alone anymore. None of you are. Wow. Thank you, attendants. Thank you so much.

Doug would like to make a decree everyone Hereafter This is no longer the sphere of Doug It is The sphere of friends Can I still be called Doug Sure, it makes sense if a couple people Are still called Doug

It'll be our sphere's version of the name John Cash, it's good to see you again It remind me your name You have a blue sister. I'm Greg. Nice to see you again, Greg. Hey, Doug's, I mean friends. Could you give the attendance and their friends and I, just a moment?

Sure thing. We'll get started on that buffet, we promised. Yes, I'm so excited for that. I'm truly sorry for what I did before. Doug knew that what I was doing for Zochilicue was wrong, but I did it anyway. It was selfish. I apologize.

We forgive you, Doug. We all do stupid things sometimes. Seriously, it's in the past. All is forgiven. Attendance, I'd like to give you something that I already gave your friend Greg, if you'll let me. What is it? Oh, you're going to love it. This is going to blow your mind. Take a deep breath, attendance. Focus your mind.

What's happening? No. Not there. Locked from the outside. side, but I don't have the key. Oh, wait. What's this? Wow. Okay, Doug's Don attendance. I'm sorry. I was unsuccessful. I wanted to make your favorite place, but your memories are locked. I can't see them. That's okay. Neither can we. Thanks for trying, though. But I did find something that I want to show you. Follow me. Where, too? to the suburbs

This neighborhood is amazing There has to be homes from all different times on the physical plane Doug's been building them from travelers' memories for a very long time A house or apartment or even a campsite These were some important places for people Here we are Why'd you bring us out here, Doug if you couldn't see into our memories Doug couldn't see your memories

but I saw one of yours One of mine Just for a moment It was fading In and out and incomplete That's never happened before But here it is Your favorite place

Is that a house? Is that a house? Cash memories? I don't know. Doug, I'm just a robot. This can't be my favorite place. But why does it feel familiar? What's going on? Cash? I'm okay. I'm okay. Mac, look. The house is gone. Why is the house gone, Doug? Doug has no idea. Come on, Cash. Let's get you back to the station. Attendance. Can I Talk to you, alone. Um, we need to take cash.

You stay here and do what you need to do. Thanks, Greg. Attendance, you should know two things. Sometimes a person's favorite place isn't always just a happy memory. Sometimes it's got sadness mixed in. Hers did. But it wasn't just sadness. It was terrible grief.

Terrible grief? Doug, maybe you didn't notice, but Cash is a robot. Whatever you saw, I think you got it wrong. And we're on the astral plane. There's no death here. What could she be grieving? Attendant, I can't pull memories from this realm of existence. Wait. What are you saying?

I'm saying, that house, it's not from here. It's from the physical plane. Greetings Travelers. This episode was written, produced, and all characters performed by me, Jared Carter. That's right, even though all of the Dugs sounded. incredibly distinct. They were all still me. The lyrics to the song, Sweetest of Spheres, were written by me, and the music for that song was composed by Amador Carter. The show is executive produced by the wonderful Michael Freiburg. Until next time, this has been Jared Carter,

wishing you safe travels. Are you emotionally exhausted? Do you have strong feelings about authoritarian power structures? Have you ever stared up at the night sky and felt tiny and alone? If so, ask your doctor about Wolf 359, the award-winning sci-fi audio fiction podcast by Kind Evil Genius Productions. Side effects may include strange genetic experiments, unreliable AI systems, the potential discovery of alien life, and toothpaste.

Find Wolf 359 wherever you listen to podcasts. and visit Wolf-359.fm to learn more.