Desert Skies - Chapter 3 - Corsonopoly

Episode Date: August 8, 2022

Desert Skies experiences an extremely rare thunderstorm from an unexpected and unwelcome visitor. Who is this visitor and what brings them to the Desert Sphere? A question only the Mechanic can answer, presenting a dilemma that only the Attendant can solve. Will he be able to? Join Club 86 Visit our Merch Store Join the Discord Visit our Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

For the best listening experience, headphones are recommended. And now, a message from our sponsor. I'm so bored. Me too. Billy, Margaret. What's wrong? We're tired of playing with our Mac and Temi dolls. Seriously, Mom.

Tenney just keeps saying the same things over and over. Seriously, Mac. Seriously, Mac. Seriously, Mac. Hey, kids. Can't get enough of desert skies? Yeah. How did you get in our house?

Well, kids. Let me tell you about Club 86! What's Club 86? I'm... I'm gonna tell ya! Just be patient. Okay. Club 86 is the only way to get exclusive access to all kinds of Desert Sky's extras. Like what? Seriously, kid. I'm gonna tell you.

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Me too. Awesome. Just grab your mom's credit card when she's not looking. Hey! And go to patreon.com forward slash desert skies. Or by clicking the link in the episode notes below. Patreon.com forward slash desert skies? Yeah.

Patreon.com forward slash desert skies? Uh-huh. Patreon.com forward slash desert skies? Did I stutter, guys? Seriously. And now back to your regular programming. Desert Skies is filmed in front of a live studio audience. Cashie, I'm home.

Hello, mechanic. How is work today? I guess you could say it was a gas. Did you get a chance to look at the coffee machine like I asked you about? I meant to, but we haven't had a problem. break between travelers. I'll get to it when I can get to it. Better latte than never, I guess. Hey guys.

Again, Mac. What? It gets born when traveler flow slows down. Besides, Cash don't mind, do you, Cash? Well, I do find it a little entertaining. Regardless. We've got work to do before the next traveler arrives. Cash, please, turn off sitcom mode.

Very well, attendant. Don't you dare, Cash. Come on, Tandy. No harm in leaving it on while we work. What if it's playing when a traveler walks in? Cash, turn it off. As you request, attention. Cash, you turn it off and I will scream like a little girl.

Tandy, listen. We spend all of our time working. And I don't want to think about... Thunder? We don't have thunderstorms in this sphere. It's unusual to be sure, but not entirely unheard of. So it's happened before? That must have been before our time, Mac.

Mac? Mac, you're shaking. I was there, attendee. The last time it stormed. I need to sit down. Cash, what's going on? what's wrong with Mac well attendant

you see the last time it stormed in the desert sphere was what is up bitches god this place smells like hot dogs

and bad vibes who do we have here eh oh the new guy well not really I really knew, I guess, but I haven't been here for a while.

Be a deer, take my bag. Careful with it. Cash, baby, looking good. Is that a new keyboard? And who do we have over here shaking like he just downed a bucket of cocaine-infused cappuccino? Why? It's my old friend, the mechanic. Back up there, fella.

Who the hell are you? God harood of me. Allow me to introduce myself. The name's Corson, mover of the ever-stormy eight sphere, and all-around malevolent being. You're a sphere mover. Were you the light we saw around the base of the mountain?

I thought the coyotes chased you out of here. Oh, you saw that, no. That was just some imp. I used the distract a coyote fringes while I snuck around the long way. What are you doing here? Straight to the point, aren't we, Mr. Ferrymen of the underworld? Well, no need to be afraid, see? I'm just here to pick up something, and then I will vacate this nasty little sphere on the double.

What could a sphere mover possibly need from desert skies? Need. You said anything about need? No. I'm here for something that belongs to me. And that is? Why, your mechanic. Cash, please turn off sitcom mode.

My bad. Mac, can I talk to you Don't be long, my little friends. There's a sphere that needs moving. My absence has surely not gone unnoticed by the superiors. Mac, what in the hell is going on? It was a board game. It wasn't my fault, Tendi. I promise.

He tricked me, kind of. You lost a board game to him. No, I lost four board games to him. I don't understand. How does that end with you having to go back with him? It's a bit of a long story. Well, let's hear it. See, he showed up right after I got here.

I'd been the mechanic for, I don't know, not very long. He pulls me aside and says, he has a proposition for me. Beat him at a board game, and he'll give me the board game. What was the game? Monopoly. Well, sort of. See, he doesn't call it Monopoly. He calls it Corsonopoly.

I asked him how he got it. He says he made it. Tells me that every time a traveler comes through his fear, he'll stop him and ask him if they had a favorite board game on the physical plane. If they say yes, he asked him to explain the game to him in detail. But he makes it himself. That is not how I would expect a malevolent being to spend their time. I thought the same thing. Anyways, I start thinking I would like to have that Corsinopoly game, so I agreed to play.

Well, turns out I'm a natural at Corsinopley, and I wipe the floor with him. But he doesn't want to let go of that game, so he ups the ante. Play a different game with him, and this time if I win, I get to take both games. So I figured, why not? Maybe I'm great at every other game. And what happened? Turns out I'm terrible at every other game. Go figure.

You can't be blessed with this body and then expect everything else to just fall on your lap. Sure. That makes sense. So he beats me at Battlesphere, game of afterlife. Apologies. I tell him I don't want to play anymore. He doesn't like that. So he says, how about a real wager?

He says we can play Corsinopoly again, and if he's, wins, I have to go back to his fear with him forever. But if I win, I can have what I desire most. Cash and the old attendant begged me to stop playing, but I couldn't turn that down. He was offering me what I wanted more than anything, which was my name, Tendi. He said he could tell me who I am. Tell me about my life on the physical plane. How is that possible? I don't know. Maybe it was a lie, but he's a sphere mover. If anybody has access to that kind of information, it's him. I can definitely see how that would be tempting.

But I wasn't as good at Korsinopoli as he'd made me believe. I must have landed on Go Straight to Hell a hundred times. He had hotels on the 31st sphere and the 33rd sphere. He owned every rest area. I was licked. But you didn't go with him. I would have. of Tindy. I'm a man of my word. But that's when Weiwei showed up with the rest of his crew.

I don't know how they knew to get here when they did, but thank the prime mover they showed up, because those coyotes dragged coursing out of the sphere faster than you could say Marlboro Man. And now he's back to collect his prize, huh? Well, we'll see about that. Tandy, where are you going? Hey babies, you're back. Then I and my new world will be on. our way. But first, can I get some of these burritos to go? Oh, the essences are so satiating. I'm particularly fond of this David's Devil's food cake flavor. I'll take a dozen, please. Now listen here, jerk. You can't just barge into my gas station, eat my burritos, and steal my mechanic. Here, take your bag and go back to where you came from.

Attendant, I don't recommend making him... He called me a jerk. I've been nothing but congenial. Let me ask you something, boy. Have you ever met a sphere mover? Well, no. But that doesn't mean... But you know what we are.

What we can do, what we're capable of. So forgive me. me if I'm a little confused. I can't seem to wrap my head around the fact that, though you know sphere movers are the most powerful beings in the astral plane, and that some of us are far meaner than others, you have the audacity to call me a jerk. Look, I just want you to leave us alone. We need Mack here. This station doesn't operate without him. It's not my job to figure out how your little gas station operates without one little mechanic. That's your Oh, John, and your mechanic belongs to me now, bitch.

Hey, don't call him that. Tandy, I gave my word. I lost. I don't like it any more than you do, but I have to go. But, Mac, we can't do this without you. Come on, Tendi. You can pump gas into a car. It's not just the gas.

It's you. You're our friend. Well, isn't this just a right, lovely display of good old-fashioned human frailty? If we're all done saying our lovely little goodbyes, we'll be on our way. Till we meet again. Come along, Mac. We've got a long journey ahead of us. Bye, Tendi.

Goodbye, Cash. Think of me when you hear an embarrassing childhood memory. Oh, come along. I can't believe he's gone. There has to be something we can do, Cash. Maybe the coyotes can help. They got him out of here once. Attendant, even if the coyotes were willing to assist,

they cannot destroy a sphere mover. They can only remove him. The mechanic would always be in danger of Corson's return. Hmm. Cash, how did the coyotes know to be here last time Corson came out? I use the neon lights of our sign to signal them. Interesting. I think I have an idea.

Hey! Wait! Dandy? Oh, what is it now, you little twat? I told you, the mechanic is mine now. Okay. You? And me.

Tend to know. I'm listening. If you win, you get Mac and me. I'll return with you to the Eighth Sphere. Interesting. And if I, and this is highly unlikely. Lose. Mac stays, and you tell us who we are.

Who we were. You mean the robot never told you? That's cold, isn't it? As for your conditions, I can agree to letting the mechanics stay if you win. But there's nothing I can do about your past, I'm afraid. But you said if I won, you tell me who I am. You were never going to win, my little friend. But in the very off chance that you did, I would have made him tell you.

Made who tell me? Why, the old attendant, of course. But I'm afraid he's gone now, isn't he? And if that robot of yours hasn't told you anything yet, then it's unlikely she ever will probably can't no amount of threatening on my part will change that but I can give you something else that may help you in your quest I can tell you where to find him

the old attendant haven't you been listening but he's gone he went to the next plane lucky for you that's not the case and I know where he's at how do we know you're not lying I mean to reinforce old stereotypes, hey? Malevolent being must be a liar. A little tricky at times, but I don't lie,

especially when it comes to the games. Do we have a deal or not? We have a deal. Get to Toronto's main venues like Budweiser Stage and the new Roger Stadium with Go Transit. Thanks to Go Transit's special online e-ticket fair, A $10 one-day weekend pass offers unlimited travel on any weekend day or holiday anywhere along the Go Network. And the weekday group passes offer the same weekday travel flexibility across the network, starting at $30 for two people and up to $60 for a group of five.

Buy your online go pass ahead of the show at go-transit.com slash tickets. So what will it be? Game of Afterlife, Apologies, Battlesphere. I got them all here in my bag, never leaves fair without them. What about Corsinopoly? Corsinopoly. Why, that's a bit of a long game. You sure you want to play that? I'm quite good at it. I'm sure, but I have a few ground rules first.

Well, that's a little unorthodox, but as long as they're within reason. First, no shady rule changes, okay? You explain the game in full before we begin. No new information after we get started. What do you think I'm going to do, cheat you? I told you. I take my game. Seriously. And once we get started, there's no stopping for any reason. You don't leave the table for a burrito. I won't leave the table for a traveler. Leave your seat and you forfeit. I want you where I can see you.

Now see, you're starting to offend me again. But if you insist, them's the rules. Very well, I'll make this quick. Now let me explain how the game is played. In full. We each start with a stack of monies, see. We take turns moving around the board and using the monies to buy spheres and other landmarks. Once you've collected, all of the landmarks are gone and done. Why do I feel like you're stalling? I'm just trying to decide if I want to buy this. You're making this harder than it needs to be.

Don't ever think it. Don't rush me. You're making moves and you're making me. What will the outcome be? Using your wits and your counterfeit money is on celestial properties. Look out his bot, another rest area, and now he's got all four. But what's he want them for? Because when you complete the collection, the rent's a whole lot more.

Oh yeah, you'll never quit. Quit, yeah, you're playing for freedom. It's Korsenopoli. It's Korsenopoly. Do not give up on your quest to defeat him until the victory. Oh, well, well. Looks like you've landed on another one of mine.

Based on the number I own, I think you owe me 455 monies. I'd like you to do the math again. You still don't trust me, do you? Um, it's not that I don't trust you. I just don't know how good you are at math. You'll never quit, yeah, you're playing for freedom. It's course enopoly.

It's course anopoly. I'll give up in your quest to defeat him until the victory. And it all comes down to this. You roll a seven or a nine, and your ass is mine. Okay, here it goes. Looks like you landed on the wrong sphere, attendant. Sorry, but you're broke, and I win. Actually, I still have one money left.

Come on, man, let's be real. The game's over. The game is not over. Not until I'm out of money. Fine. Take your turn. You're making this more painful than it needs to be. I'm gonna. Just give me a second here.

Hang on. I'm going to recount my money. One. Yep. Still one. What on earth are you doing? The game is over. Admit it. Hey, don't rush me. Attendant. I think there's someone at the door. I can't right now. Cash, if I step away, I forfeit the game. Yeah, that's true.

The game you've plainly already lost. Matt, can you see who's there? Sure, Tandy. But don't make any moves until I get back. Hey, what are you doing here? Well, he's right around the corner, but... No way. Wait, way.

Hey now, keep your distance, coyote. I have a game to finish. Your friends and I have an agreement. You drag me out of this sphere, and I'll just come back. You know it. I'm owed what I'm due. Well, at least part of that is true. I mean, we do have an agreement, Weiwei, but the game is finished.

So you finally come to terms with the inevitable. It's all right, attendant. Someone had to lose Someone did But not me I still have money See Count it

One monies But you also jumped out of your seat When Wei Wei barked at you And we agreed You can't leave your seat For any reason You forfeit I win

Oh you little shit Them's the rules Bitch Indeed them's the rules no need to drag me out kicking and screaming wayway i can admit when i've been bested i'll take my games and i'll leave you in peace not so fast

the old attendant where can we find him oh that well it's more of a rumor than anything and what's the rumor As the story goes He's been zigzagging back and forth Between spheres ever since he left Ditched the car doing most traveling on foot now Last I heard he was being detained On the 23rd sphere

What do you mean detained Again, don't quote me on this But the rumor is that he had a nasty run in with Of all things, a benevolent sphere mover So Chilicue is the name I believe Makes you wonder what he's up to that would get him in trouble with a benevolent being. I mean, she's one of the good guys.

So what does that make your old attendant, I wonder? Anywho, allow me to get out of your hair. I have a sphere to move. Wait, you know what? How about one more game? Tandy, what in the hell are you doing? Another game. I suppose my sphere can make it a little longer

without me. What are we playing for this time? Um, I was thinking for fun. Wait. You're saying, you want to play a game with me. I'm a level in to be. For the fun of it, nothing at stake. Nothing at stake. I think I'd like that. I mean, it wouldn't hurt anything, I suppose. Kosenopoly. I was thinking we could try the game of afterlife. Oh, the game of afterlife. Come on, Wei, way, way, join us. You'll like this one.

You can have a girlfriend, didn't it? I'll make burritos. Who wants one? Me? I love it. Bye. Come back for another game night sometime. I want to try Battlesphere. You can count on it, bitch.

Later, jerk. Till we meet again, Wanka. That was really fun. Yeah. Yeah, it was. What'd you think about what he said? About the old attendant. I'm not sure what to think yet.

It doesn't make any sense. Yeah, I thought so too. Hey, why'd you ask him to stick around after everything he did. I guess it was after he lost Korsenopoli. He didn't seem mad. He seemed kind of sad. I can't say for sure, but I get the feeling he wasn't trying to take us to his fear to serve him.

I mean, what does a sphere mover need with a gas station attendant and a mechanic? It didn't make sense. But then it got me thinking. Here's a guy who cares so much about games that he makes. them by hand, carries them everywhere he goes. I think he just wanted someone he could play games with, even if he had to force them. I guess a malevolent bang probably doesn't make a lot of friends, huh? I would imagine not.

And that's the other thing. We've met a lot of people in our time at Desert Skies, and I've never met a traveler that was all bad, or one that was all good. People are almost always both. Just in different measures. Why would a sphere mover be any different? I don't know. I've been here a long time, but there's still a lot of things I don't understand.

Same. Hey, it looks like the storm's letting up. Probably start getting travelers again soon. I'm gonna head back inside. Got some burrito wrappers to clean up. Sounds good. I'm gonna hang out here for a little. little bit. Oh, intending. Thanks for sticking your neck out for me. Don't think of it.

You're my best bitch, Mac. Best bitches forever. Best bitches forever. You'll never quit. You're playing for freedom. It's course anopoly. It's course anomaly. Do not give up in your quest to defeat him until the victory. I think I'm kind of good at this.

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