Desert Skies - Chapter 9 - Perfection is a Concept

Episode Date: February 6, 2023

Freddie, an anxious traveler, visits Desert Skies in the midst of some changes. Shirley has left the station in an attempt to save her father. Mesonia's cryptic message has left the staff of Desert Skies concerned about the future. Something's crawled up C.A.S.H's electrical chord. Oh, and HueHue has found something at the top of the mountain that may or may not need to be fought. Join Club 86 Visit our Merch Store Join the Discord Visit our Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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For the best listening experience, headphones are recommended. What'd you bring? I've got them all here in my bag. Game of afterlife. Apologies, Battlesphere, and of course, Corsinopoly. Classic. Cash, let's get some game night music going on in here. What would be considered game night music?

I don't know. Surprise me. Okay, let's see here. Oh, I know. You know what? Just play something chill. Hey, Corson. You still got one in your bag. You want it?

What do you mean I've got one in my? Unfinished business. What could it hurt? Let's find out, shall we? Listen, it's just the game. It's just... Oh, where are you guys? We are between planes, the astral plane, and the physical plane. For all we know, we could be stuck here forever. Think about cats. What is this place?

Sonoran acclamations exist but for one purpose. Is this really what the physical plane is like? And what do you think? think of the music. Corson, you're one terrifying son of a bitch. That means so much to me. I'm free. Who is that?

Who is that? Oh, you're going to love him, dearie. We got an attendant to rescue. Let's go. What could you have possibly done that could justify the way you're talking about yourself? You're not having fun, Corson. Come on.

Think of it like a board game. No, that's actually helping. I think I am having fun now. Game Night, a six-part miniseries exclusive to Club 86 members. Visit patreon.com forward slash desert skies or click the link in the show notes below to learn more. And maybe that's why Skylarks never die. Well, what'd you think? It's good?

You don't like it. No, no, it's not that. I mean, when was Mr. Harris here? Like, 12 travelers ago? You've barely had any time to practice. Yeah, maybe. here riding. Bill Harris. Now that guy could really play. It was nice of him to teach you some chords. Yeah, it was nice. Not that it's doing much good. Maybe Tristan was wrong. Maybe the

guitar wasn't supposed to go to me. Don't say that. Keep up with your practice and you'll be strumming along in no time. Isn't that right, Cash? Attendant. I was just saying that Max practice is going to pay off and he will be an excellent player in no time. Don't you agree? Yes, attendant, I am in total agreement. I have heard it said the practice makes perfect. And while I believe that this is not entirely accurate, I do believe that practice will indeed result in the mechanic being an entirely competent musician. What makes you say that it's not accurate? Why what is not accurate, mechanic? That practice makes perfect. Oh, that? Well, it's just that perfection is a concept rather than a reality.

I beg to differ. Have you tried my shack juice? I mean, basement juice. You know perfectly well that I haven't, mechanic. I'm incapable. How can I know perfectly well if perfection is a concept rather than a reality? Because perfection is, I mean, what I'm I meant to say, I misspoke. Well, I learned something new today. What's that? That computers can misspeak. I didn't think that was possible.

Maybe you got a virus, Cash. Cash? I don't have a virus mechanic. I'm functioning precisely as I should. Now, if you don't mind, I'm going into sleep mode. Hey, what crawled up your electrical cord? I wasn't trying to be mean. Was I being mean, Tendi?

Cash, I don't think Mac was trying to hurt your feelings. He was just being Mac. Cash? Tendi, can I talk to you outside? Sure. Cash, when you're ready to talk, just let me know. Tendie, she's been acting a little strange lately. Ever since Monsia visited.

Maybe she misses Shirley. They were getting along pretty well. Maybe. It's definitely strange. Perhaps we should just take it easy on the joking for a bit. That's going to be hard for me. On account of how many amazingly funny things pop into my head at every possible moment. But I'll do it for cash.

Your generosity and compassion never cease to amaze me. I know you're being sarcastic, but it should amaze you. I was just joking. Better be. The purr of an engine. It sounds like it's time to get back to work. Another traveler approaches arriving on the astroplane. Will they turn into a burrito?

And if they do, will they be plain? Put a plug in it, Mac. I can't. It's acoustic. Hello. Greetings, Traveler. Welcome to Desert Scott. Stop it, Mac.

See, I told you. You don't like it. What is this place? Well, traveler, you're. time on the physical plane has come to an end. This is the astral plane. I'm the attendant and the bearded one with the guitar is our mechanic. Yo, call me man. It's our job to help prepare you for the trip across the celestial spheres so you can reach the next plane of existence, the next life. So I'm dead and you're going to help me get to the next life.

Exactly. Gosh, it's always so nice when they're like, fine with it. I mean, I'm not exactly fine. I'm not super excited about it. I would hope not. I'm just glad it didn't hurt. I always thought dying would hurt. Yeah, the painful stuff seems to always precede the dying part. At least that's what travelers have told us. What's your name, Traveler? Freddy Pruitt.

Well, Freddy, it sounds like you've got a pretty good handle on the situation. Any questions so far? Uh, yes, one. You said it's your job to help me reach the next life. Is that right? That's right. Max going to take a look at your Skylark, make sure it's in tip-top shape, top it off with some astral grade fuel,

and while he's doing that, I'll share some information about the trip you'll be taking. So we have a map inside, and we can look at it together, and you'll need to pay really close attention. because apparently some portions of the highway are missing. Can I die here? Die? On the astral plane? No, you're already dead.

And the next life, can I die there? Um, that's a good question. I don't know. Great. I'm not going. I'm sorry. Come again? I'm not going.

I'm not leaving here. That's not really an option. I'm sure you'll figure it out because I'm not going down that road. Like hell you ain't. I've taken the traveler's hands. to a steering wheel before and I'll do it again without hesitation because it's funny to me listen I've spent the last 62 years of my life avoiding any untimely death and I survived it now you didn't not not the right choice of words perhaps

but you know what I mean I made it through somehow to whatever this is and if you can't die here and if you can maybe die in the next life, I'm not going. Well, when you put it that way, maybe we should let you stay. Really? Oh, that's... Hey, hey, what are you doing?

Grab the tape, Tendi. Mack. Tendi, less talking more tapie. I am so sorry, Mr. Pruitt, Mack, what has gotten into you? I'm sorry, Mr. Pruitt. I'm sorry. I'm just a little. I'm just a little. stress and all. Surely's been gone a while now. The stuff Masonia said was nuts. And now I'm worried about cash. You worried about money? Oh, cash, no. Cash is our computational assistance and service

help register. Haven't you been paying attention? Paying attention? But you never said anything about us. I'm sure cash is fine, Mac, regardless. Our priority right now is our traveler. Ha ha. Not traveler. Your new resident. This guy. Cash? Yes, attendant. Attitude.

I'd like to request the traveler bio for Mr. Pruitt. Sending request now, attendant. What's that? What's a traveler bio? Um, a high-level overview of your life on the physical plane. Might help us to understand how best we can serve you. You mean how best you can get me out of here and into the next life? Well, yes.

That's my job. Here's your report now. Panned over, you know what. What is you know what? Nothing. Just a small assemblage of short stories pertaining to the more tender years of your existence expressly as it concerns those moments of considerable social folk ours. Uh, small, what's it? Embarrassing childhood memories.

Very, very important stuff. What in the world do you need that for? Not for my own amusement, if that's what you're implying. Now, excuse me while I skim this. Mr. Pruitt, this says you were. an accountant? That's right. That's all it shows. Did you ever do anything else? No. And did you like your job? No, I can't say that I did. Then why did you keep doing it? Well, for starters, I was good at it. I've always preferred to work with numbers. Numbers are safe.

They make sense to me. Fair enough. Some you should know about me, attendant. I am not a brave man. I'm scared, pretty much, all of the time. It's been that way to be. for as long as I can remember. So when it was time for me to decide what I was going to do for a job, account seemed like as good an option as any in terms of safety. I even started my own business.

Well, that's impressive. Yeah, but I did that because the idea of having a boss was pretty scary. Like, what if they got mad at me? Well, Tendi's kind of my boss and he gets mad at me all the time. The secret, I think, is to find a boss with noodley arms.

They're not scary at all. I'll keep that in mind. Not that it matters now. Anyways, I worked mostly with seniors. They usually don't take as many risks with the money like young people do. And that was my job. Until today. Any hobbies?

Nope. Ever travel? Nope. Love interest? Are you kidding? Oh my God. You're like the human version of a plain bagel. Listen, attendant, mechanic, you seem like nice fellas.

And this seems like a nice, quiet place. You got that little booth there. The music's fine. I can just sit here and read the nutritional information on the backs of your packaged products. And maybe even venture outside occasionally. Have you ever been in a desert before? On a horse with no name. That's a joke.

No, I've never been in a desert. I get the feeling you wouldn't like it. Have you ever heard of a tarantula king? A tarantula king? Mack, are you doing okay? What? Why? You look like you're about to cry.

Uh, no. Cry from laughter, maybe. These childhood memories are hilarious. Wayway's here. Wei, way. What's a way? Way's an incredibly powerful astral being and a benevolent sphere mover

who wields nearly unmatched power and cunning in the astral plane. He's also my close friend and only I can understand it. So what's up, bud? This place is weird. Sure you want to stick around? I'll be used to.

Uh, we'll see. Hey, see soon. Wayway says he needs to show us something. Show us what? He wouldn't say, only that we need to climb to the top of the mountain to see it. Attend it, mechanic? Cash? Surely it would be unwise to climb the mountain.

You have a traveler to attend to, and climbing the mountain is a dangerous and unnecessary risk. Cash is right. I mean, what would we do with Freddy? Mack, can't you just ask Weiwei to tell us what it is? He says we both need to see it. Freddy can just come with us. No, no, I'm not doing that. I don't like mountains.

Climbing. hiking or seeing things. I'm just going to stay here and make myself at home. Suit yourself. Hey, the tarantula kings are swinging by a little later to pick up some shack dews for their dance. You don't mind giving it to them, do you? What is a tarantula king?

You know, like a bunch of tarantulas, working in unison to create one giant tarantula. It's really quite remarkable, and after they've had a little shack juice, really, really funny. I have no interest in interacting with a tarantula king, so if it's all the same to you, I'll just lock the door

until you come back. I'm sure they can wait. But then they won't get it to the dancing time. And besides, if you lock the door, they'll just disassemble and drop in through the vans in the ceiling. At least that's what I would do if I was a thousand spiders.

You know what? Maybe a hike would be okay. Fantastic. The mountain's just behind the station. away. It'll give us a chance to talk a little more. Sounds great. Now, can we get out of here before the spiders show up? Sure thing. The tarantula king should know where to find the juice and if not, Cash can help him. Right, Cash? Cash? Seriously? I don't like getting the cold shoulder. It makes my tummy hurt.

Freddy, one of the first things you should know when making your way through a desert is that it isn't friendly to visitors not native to its delicate ecosystem. Put plainly. Put plainly, the desert is always trying to kill you. Mack, come on. What do you mean trying to kill me? Well, the first thing to remember is that this desert, can't kill you on account of you being dead, but it can hurt you.

Mack. Tendi, quit coddling him. He needs to know. You don't want him getting hurt out here, do you? Fine. Just slew your role with some of the trying to kill you stuff. I don't talk like that. Anyways, like I was saying, there are a few ways you can get hurt in the desert.

Such as... Well, such as getting. Pricked by a cactus. Stung by a squirpian. Bit by a rattlesnake. Bit by a heli monster. Bit by a black widow. Bit by a brown recluse falling in a hall. Encountering a flash flood or getting struck by lightning and coursing visits. Stung by a tarantula wasp king. Tarantula wasp king. Yeah, that one paralyzes you. Anyways, don't interrupt. Tripping on a rock, tripping on a snake, eating Carolina Jessamine. Okay, okay, okay, that's enough. I'm sure he gets the point. Why would anyone choose to stay in the desert. What on earth would possess someone to resign themselves to occupying a place

that exist to cause them harm? Uh, because it's cool as shit. Anyways, point of all that was just to say, watch your step. Why didn't you just say that? Can you guys just let me do me, please? Uh, anyways, we've arrived at the base of the mountain. Any questions before beginning our ascent? Yeah. Way, can you just tell us what's at the top of the mountain? It would save us so much time. Wayway says, no-uh. Seriously?

What did he just say? He says you have a lot of nerves faking to a sphere mover with so much disrespect. Way, wait, I've seen you try to breakdance when you were drunk. I think we are way past engaging in formalities at this point in our relationship. Sphere mover or not. Got it. He said that he'd prefer. that we take a look at it with our own eyes rather than just hear about it.

Plus, do you need someone strong like me and maybe he need your noodley arms for something? All righty. Let's start climbing. Don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Dude, we've only been climbing for like 10 minutes. That's about 10 minutes longer than I've ever climbed. Are you being serious?

I've never been into climbing. Running, swimming, working out. Too dangerous. People get hurt doing those things all the time. Fall off the treadmill. Crushed by barbells. Well, what were you into besides, you know work watching cooking shows the french chef with julia child is one of my favorites

you like to cook i love to cook got a hot plate in my basement me cook no way that's way too dangerous how do you eat then i eat can tuna mostly you got to be careful with a lid cereal on sundays i'd eat abenikins i'd get that kill kennedy's country chicken wrap even though the honey mustard gave me a little heartburn. You liked to live dangerously. Oh, whoa! They watched it. Whoa, that was a close one.

I'm usually pretty good at finding my footing. Freddy, you just... Freddy, you just saved Mack from falling. I did? For a guy who's scared of everything. That was a pretty gutsy move grabbing a heavy guy like me. Yeah, whoa. I may be a little anxious when it comes to everything, but I don't know, what adrenaline kicks in.

Even when we're scared, we got to help, right? Yeah. Hey, it's flat here. Let's take a little rest. Do you mind if I ask you guys something? Not at all. What's on your mind? You seem hell-bent on sending me down that road. And I'd just like to know why. What's the benefit to you?

Or to me, especially if you don't know for sure what lies down there. Doesn't it seem kind of wrong to send people into the unknown? At least here, they don't die. Is that the goal to not die? I don't know. Isn't it? What could be more important than surviving? You tell me, you spent your whole life on the physical plane

just trying to survive, and you're here anyway. Well, sure. That's got the better of me eventually, but not here. Like you said, it can't. Here, it always does. This isn't life, it's the in-between. We're not meant to stay here, not forever. What would it even look like for you?

An eternity of sitting at a gas station booth hiding from Tarangela King? Freddy, I have reason to believe that what lies at the end of that road is good, but I can't prove it. And isn't that kind of the point? Pursuing something better at the risk of being wrong? Think of everything we'd miss out on. Otherwise. I don't think I can do it. Hey, where's your friend?

Tandy, Freddy, come there. Oh God. Come on. Tendi, don't try to help me. The rattlesnake? Seriously? As you know, if this snake bites you, you'll be paralyzed for eternity. And you're too important, Tendi.

Someone has to care for the station. Freddy, you have to help me. There's no other way. Can we just throw rocks at it? No, no rocks. That'll just make it angrier. Then what do I do? See that dried up, Okita, a branch behind you?

This thing? Use it to pick up the snake, real gentle-like, and then move it away from me. Oh, God. I can't do that. No way. Freddy, Freddy, I need you to help me. I know you can do it. Okay. Please don't bite me, snake. Real gentle now. Please don't bite me, snake. Please don't bite me, snake.

Please don't bite me, snake. Hey, look at you. You really did it. I... I did. That's twice now, Freddy. Remind me to fry up the burrito of your choice when we get back to the station. Meck? I don't... I'm sure you have something important to say, but maybe later. Okay? Okay.

Wait, wait, says this is it. He heard a beeping sound coming from inside. Must be a cave. But we'll have to move these rocks to get in. I'm seriously not trying to be rude, but how is it you can move a sphere, but not rocks? I'm going to assume that means shut the hell up. Mack, can we save some time by not pretending that I'd be a help moving these? Smart.

That's why your management. Oh, and one more thing. Wei says that we should be ready to fight whatever's on the other side, just in case it's something dangerous. Why didn't you tell us that before? I could have brought more than a flashlight. Like what, Tendi? Guns.

We don't have any guns. Then what in the hell are these two weapons poking out of my sleeves? Mack. They're guns, Tandy. My arms are guns. Yeah. Freddy, I guess you're going to want to stand back in case whatever it is isn't happy to see us. Freddy.

What do you think? Stand back or back us up? Which is it? You know what? Neither. Neither? I want to go first. I have to go first.

You don't got to do that, bud. What I do. If there's something bad in there, I can't let you get hurt. I can't let something like that happen again. Again? It was my fault. I could have done something. Something to help.

I wasn't brave enough. Attendant, I didn't spend my whole life just trying to survive. I spent my whole life trying to make sure that I was never in a situation where I would be responsible for someone else getting hurt ever again. Because it's my fault she died. That's not true. Mack, what is he talking about? His embarrassing childhood memory. You guys don't need to hear this.

We want to. My dad was at work. He was a firefighter. I looked up to him so much. He was so brave. He wanted me to be brave, too. What happened? It was night.

He was on shift. I heard at first someone trying to come through the door, so I woke my mom up. She told me to go to my room and lock the door, and she told me not to open it for any reason. I begged her to just come into the room with me. She just kissed me on the head, said it's going to be okay, and closed the door. Whoever it was got in, and they wanted money, a jewelry, or something.

She didn't let them have it. They must not have been happy. I never left my room. Not till my dad came home. And it was too late. And... And... And he said...

He said it was your fault. He said you could have called the cops and got her help. He never talked to you again. Not unless he had to. You were so ashamed. That's your embarrassing childhood memory? I was... I was...

You were just a kid, Freddy. You were five years old But he was right I was too scared You've been carrying that around your whole life Freddy What your dad said It was a lie

Yeah, you were scared Can you imagine a kid that wouldn't be You didn't know what was going on You just did what your mom told you to The last thing she ever did Was try to keep you safe And she did Because you listened

Doesn't change the fact, mechanic. I'm just not a brave man. And I refuse to put myself in another situation where someone gets hurt because I was too afraid. I'm going to say something and it's going to sound harsh. Your dad, he was an ass hat and a bit of a shithead. He didn't know what to do with his own grief. So instead of trying to deal with it,

He just put it on you. It's not because he hated you. It's because he hated himself. Max Wright. We see it all the time. Parents are complex, imperfect people, and they kind of have a way of burying their kids under the weight of their own experience.

Yeah, because most of the time, kids can't fight back. I don't know if this is helpful or not, but regardless of the particulars, almost all of the parents who did this to their children have one thing in common, the second I say the words, you're dead, that's the moment they realize that they'll never get the chance

to apologize. They always thought there would be more time. I'm sure if your dad were here right now, he'd tell you he's sorry, and that he was wrong. It's a hard thing to acknowledge you're wrong. It's hard to imagine

believing that he wasn't right. Seriously, Freddy, when I'm went tumbling down the side of this rocky mountain who grabbed me i did and when i almost got bit by that snake who moved it out of the way i guess i did and now who was willing to step into this dark mountain cave without thought to what he'd face on the other side max right you don't even know us and you've stuck your neck out every chance you had people are safer with you around traveler And the next life's going to be better with you in it. You really think so?

We really do. Can I ask you something? Sure. I'm not trying to imply that you will lie. But were you really about to fall off the mountain? And were you really afraid that snake was going to bite you? Because, and I know this sounds crazy, I could have sworn that snake was smirking.

Were any of those things real? Are you implying that I'd ask that snake to pretend like he was going to bite me? Just because I knew that snake personally and he owed me a favor? Should I be? Who can say? Does it make you any less brave? I guess not, but it's still kind of not okay. Agreed.

Now, let's pop this cave open and see what happens. Ready? You want to do the honors? Flashlight, please. This place is bigger than you'd think. It's pretty empty. And... Holy mother of God!

Where's the flashlight? Don't panic. I got it right here. Let's see. Holy mother of God. Who is that? I have no idea. Ma'am, we're from desert skies,

and we don't mean you any harm. ma'am i'm gonna get a closer look mac be careful don't worry tandy i'll be careful that looks like camo she's wearing some kind of soldier tandy wayway get over here tandy look this isn't a woman it's a robot a mean-looking robot wayway says there's something on its neck but he's not tall enough to make it out are you I'm not dignifying that with a response. Okay, let's see. It's some kind of manufacturer's imprint.

What's it say? Let's see. Astralplane Robotics Division. Model A1, computerized astral security humanoid. Computerized astral security humanoid? But that'll make no sayant. Tendi. That acronym.

It's the same as... As cash. Yes, that's it. Oh, shit. Greetings, traveler. Thank you for your patience while waiting for Desert Skies Chapter 9. I want to take a moment to thank my first three patrons, Jess, Johan, and Charles.

You are helping to make this show possible, and I appreciate you. And listen, whether you can support the show financially or not, know that I appreciate you listening. One of the ways you can always support is by leaving a rating or review wherever you listen. This is Jared Carter saying thank you so much for being a desert, skies listener, and safe travels, my friend. The Fable and Falling Network, where fiction producers flourish. This is I reporting. He's at the Lauchang Restaurant, Changchun, Northeastern China. It's spring, 1997.

Once it started, I'll leave him in Ming's hands. That's a joke. Ming doesn't have heads. And what do you do exactly? besides dance with strangers I work for the postal service You're a postman We're right

This croutier What is it It's just a bit strange A letter for me from Hong Kong And there's no stamp I need stamps to write a dead person Yep, there's a cost How much

A pound A pound of flesh, a pound of you? It seems like a lot. Lift up your shirt! What's that? Just hold this tube over your stomach. Don't let!

Yeah, this is gonna hurt! What? Nothing! Oh! Oh! Oh! The espioner job you can get the depth of coming. The very worst thing that's right.

The very worst thing that could possibly happen. Sarah, please write back. If your letter can find me here, then I think we have a lot to talk about. Saludus, Raul. The very worst thing that could possibly happen. an audio drama in nine parts produced by Wolf the Door Studios out now for more information please visit wLFDR.com