Desert Skies - Desert Skies FM - A Dog to the Rescue!

Episode Date: June 24, 2024

The gang is back from their trip across the Celestial Spheres. In this broadcast, you'll here about a product recall (more like less dangerous reheating instructions), learning to like the person you are, and here from a few travelers traversing the Astral Plane Featured Artist: JPW Join Club 86 Visit our Merch Store Join the Discord Visit our Website Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're with Amex Platinum, you get access to exclusive dining experiences and an annual travel credit. So the best tapas in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at Amex.ca. www.ca. yamex. incoming broadcast from the staff of Desert Skies.

Desert Skies FM Greetings travelers traversing the astral plane. This is Tendi. And this is Mac. We're the attendance of. desert skies, you probably remember us. Tindy was the tall, lanky one. I'm the bearded one that laughed at your childhood adversity. I'm pretty sure they can tell us apart by our voice. What? We sound exactly the same. No, we don't. Yes, we do. Cash? You don't sound exactly the same. Mac,

your voice is way higher. The hell you say? It was a joke. Mine was a joke too, but don't joke like that. Sensitive much? Anyways, here's your safe travel tip for traversing the astral plane. Safe travel tips for travelers traversing through the celestial spheres have no fair attendees here. You change the lyrics. You like it? I don't hate it. Success! Recently, we returned from a trip to a message from a distressed traveler who had suffered an unfortunate incident.

Here at the station, we have optional food preservation and preparation devices you can take with you on your trip. This includes styrofoam ice chest and portable microwaves. The perfect combination for keeping a broad. burrito mostly frozen until such a time that you wish to heat it up. Exactly. But things can go wrong. Things can go very wrong. And it's not my fault.

It's a little bit your fault. Anyways, Mac has been experimenting with the burritos. Defrosting them, mixing and matching different flavor combinations. For instance, bangers and mash with mac and cheese. Chicken all the king with buttered noodles. You get the idea. Some of them are not terrible. Some of them are terrible.

I can admit that. Here's the problem. I mean, aside from concerns about combining the essences of different Traveler's existence. Worked for Lawrence and Debbie. Sure. The problem is after he's done making these Frankenstein burritos, he wraps them in foil and refreezes them. Traveler, you may have one of these experimental burritos in your car right now. They're the ones with the name written in crayon.

They're fine to eat, I think, but they are not okay to microwave while still in the foil. You will burn your car down. Don't do that. But if you do do it, and you're anywhere near a lake or an ocean or a snowdrift, just drive into him. It'll put the fire out. No, don't do that. Just don't microwave your burritos while it's still in the foil. To the traveler who called us, please stay close to the highway.

We've instructed new travelers coming through the station to, keep an eye out for you and to give you a ride to the next life. Road trip, two new pals and a Buick Skylark on the adventure of a death time. That could be a movie. That's what I was going for. All right, Mack, take it away. Traveler, welcome to a segment I like to call, rest your weary soul.

Rest your weary soul. Like Tendi mentioned earlier, we recently returned from a visit to the 18th Svair. The sphere of Doug. It's actually the sphere of friends now. Spoilers. What? For who? The map says, sphere of Doug. And when they get there, they're gonna find out it's now the sphere of friends.

Spoilers. Sorry. Cash, emotional and inspiring music, please. Now, I'm not gonna tell you what happens when you get to the 18th sphere. But what I will tell you is that it's gonna be awesome. I really liked it. The duds are shorter than me, and it made me feel huge, and that got me to thinking. I think about my height a lot, like, a lot, and sometimes people say funny things about it, and it makes me mad.

Like when I called you a baby? Jesus, Betty, you gotta stop doing that. What if I was naked in here? Oh, why would you be naked in here? That's why I said, what if, Betty? You're still my friend, but you gotta go. I'm trying to say something here. Oh, sorry about that. I'll go. You guys still coming over later for a lot. little part cheesy. As disappointed as I was, to find out it has nothing to do with cheese. Yeah, we'll be there. Now let us finish up this broadcast, Sky Demon. All right, I'm going. As I was saying, I get made fun of for my height, sometimes. And it often hurts my feelings.

I don't have any control over my height, you know? And what does it matter? It doesn't. I mean, it'd be nice to reach stuff on the highest shelves without needing a step ladder. or maybe to see over the people standing in front of me at a parade. Yeah, I know we don't have parades, but what if? What if we had parades? Anyways, it got me thinking, why does it bother me so much when people say that? Well, it's because they think I'm at a disadvantage.

In what way? I mean, yeah, grabbing stuff off the shelf and parades and all that, but there's a lot of advantages that I think people don't notice. First off, I'm closer to the ground, so I'm closer to my desert friends. Not only am I less likely to step on a scorpion or kick a cactus, I also am just close enough to notice and say, hello. Or when a kid comes to the station, bless their little souls, I think I put them at ease, because I'm not looming over them.

Almost eye to eye. They warm up to me pretty quick and that always feels nice like I'm a big brother or something. Let's see. I don't have to worry about helicopter blades slashing my head off. I can sneak around the store undetected and eat the snacks Tandy told me not to eat because we're running low on inventory. Yeah, when you do that, I'm completely aware of your presence

and I know exactly what you're doing. I'm just saying, I kind of love being short. The only reason I think I'd want to give this up is just to make the jokes stop. But the jokes ain't that bad. In fact, sometimes they're even a little funny. Get it? A little.

funny. You probably got something about you that's different. Maybe you're a little chunky, like me. Or you're one of those folks that drink protein shakes all the day long, but couldn't build muscle to save your life. Maybe you were far-sighted or near-sighted, or you wished your eyes were a different color, or you got curly hair, but you want straight hair, or you got straight hair, but you want dog fur. I don't know, but maybe take a while to stop and think about the thing you don't like about you. Pretend that thing is a person, a person who feels bad about themselves. What would you say to cheer him up?

Tendi, give it a go. Oh, okay. I'd say, nudely arms, you're good at reaching into the back of the soda cooler to reach where the coldest sodas are. Hey, yeah, I like that. I'm sure your noodley arms appreciate it.

What would you say to your beady eyes? My eyes aren't beady. Are my eyes beady? I'm just messing with you. Alright, we got time for just a couple of voicemails, so let's do this. Okay, first message. What's the story behind all the burritos? Is that the whole question?

Listen, you sound like a kid, so I'm going to go easy on you, account of you showing up here so early into life. But do you want the story behind all 40 burritos because I don't have time for that? Or do you want the story of why people become burritos when they try to go back to the physical plane? Because I don't know that. But can I just say, it is super cool that you're so inquisitive. I bet you're smartest can be and a really cool kid. Thanks for calling. Drive safe.

I hope they're not driving. Oh yeah, I guess they wouldn't be. Next message. Hey, Mac. My name is Sarah. I wanted to let you know, I really enjoy listening to your messages, your thoughtful sayings on Desert Skies, FM. So thank you for sharing them with us.

Bye-bye. Well, hi, Sarah. It's been a while since you were at the station. I really am happy that you enjoy listening to Desert Skies FM. I hope you're having a great time traversing the astral plane. And P.S., you sang that jingle real pretty. Voice of a coyote. Maybe she could replace you.

Uh, no, saying that is my job. Anyways, next message. Uh, yeah, Mac, it's Clay. Um, the car is fine. Uh, but I seem to have... Blowing out a tire. Uh, I'm not really seeing a spare here. And I don't know what, I mean, the tools, like everything else is here, but I'm not seeing a spare.

So I don't really, you know... Is that a dog pushing a tire? Uh, Mac, I'm gonna have to call you back. A dog to the rescue! A bet he's driving through the sun. fear of dead pets who stay in little trailers on a giant trailer park sphere. I hate to say it, but that's the only thing that makes sense. Clay, I'm sorry.

I didn't think you'd need your compact spare, so I tried making a tire swing out of it, but the mesquite tree branches aren't quite big enough to hold all of the meat that there is. Good on that dog for coming to your aid. Speaking of aid, if you find yourself traversing the astral plane and are in need of assistance, just visit a communication station and dial 947. Mac, help. That's 947, 623-4357. And that's our show.

If you'd like to learn more about Desert Skies, just use one of the computer modules located in communication stations along the Astral Highway. From there, visit Desert Skies Podcast.com, where you can sign our guest book, read some articles, or access transcripts. The song you were listening to before we interrupted was called Always Happening by JPW. Here it is again. Safe Travel. Everything each other he's no excelling

it off at me on time