Desert Skies - Desert Skies FM - Get Stretchy

Episode Date: July 8, 2024

In this broadcast, you'll learn all about how to navigate the sometimes, somewhat, kind of a little bit, dangerous atmosphere of the Long Paws. Mac gives some advice on life that he learned from doin' yoga. And you'll also hear some voicemails from a couple travelers. Join Club 86 Visit our Merch Store Join the Discord Visit our Website Musical Guest: Dad Weed Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

When you're with Amex Platinum, you get access to exclusive dining experiences and an annual travel credit. So the best tapas in town might be in a new town altogether. That's the powerful backing of Amex. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more at Amex.ca. www.ca. yamex. Incoming broadcast from the staff of Desert Skies

Desert Skies FM Oh, the weather outside is frightful, so I think I'll take a bite full of something to keep me warm, In the storm, in the storm, in the storm. Maybe a bowl of the hot dog chili with some hot sauce. Sounds tasty. You're probably wondering why Mack is singing about inclement weather, and that's because clouds have been spotted on the horizon,

which can only mean one thing. Corson. That's right. Corson is the leader of the ever-stormy-eighth sphere, and I'm sorry to say that those of you traveling through that sphere will be unable to join him for a board game, and he's apt to invite travelers to do so. The good news is you'll get a rare glimpse at the rocky terrain of a sphere, unencumbered by rain, fog, and all other manner of visual obstruction.

I've heard it's quite impressive. I'd like to go sometime. See where Mr. Kuhl likes to hang his hat. We should definitely go. How could we not? We have to. And we should stay longer than what he's comfortable with until he finally gets so tired of our company that he invites us to leave. Um... What, it'd be funny.

And now it's time for our safe travel tip for travelers traversing the astral plane. Safe travel tip for travelers traversing on the astral plane. A number of you have left the station with the intent of visiting the long pause. A bar located in the forest shortly after arriving on the second sphere. This bar, as I'm sure Mack told you when he was recommending a visit, I always recommend it. I'm a huge supporter of small businesses. This bar is run by bears.

These aren't like your physical plane bears, which will typically avoid you, but sometimes attack if you mess with their cubs or invade their space or if they see you as a threat to their food supply. The bears at the long paws are quite the opposite. They welcome you and to their space with open arms, lakes. What are the top two limbs called? I'll have to ask the next time we visit. And they love to share a meal with you.

Whether fried fish balls, a pizza paradox, or fresh-baked pretzels with honey mustard. But they can still be aggressive. The following is a list of things to not do when you're visiting the long paws. Number one, don't pet the bears. If you do, they'll pet you back with a paw. Across your face. Don't play poker with them. Play a better hand than them.

And they'll take their hand, also known as a paw. and wipe it across your face. And lastly, if you're invited to sing karaoke, refuse. Don't do it. It's a trap. All the lyrics are in bare, which you don't know how to speak. And if you attempt to read the prompter, you may end up singing something offensive without realizing it. They'll take turns, wiping their paw across your thigh.

They get it. Anyways, this has been your safe travel tip for traversing the astral plane. insightful so delightful and now it's time for a little segment I like to call rest your weary soul rest your weary soul so I've been doing yoga for the first time ouch who in their right mind would ever want to participate in such a slow painful sweat-inducing challenging activity me that's who does now I am That's right, stretchy. It's nice being stretchy.

Now it doesn't hurt when Tendi makes me pick up my peanut shells off the floor. Why do you keep throwing them on the floor in the first place? It's not my fault. Peanuts are always trying to return to the ground from where they came. I'm so stretchy now that I can put my hands over my head and lean back so far that I can add an extra layer of exaggeration to my already over-exaggerated yawns. It's good to be stretchy, and I'm not just talking about physically. It's good to be stretchy, metaphorically, Cash.

You desire control. You need to master everything that's occurring around you. I get it. You figure control can give you peace, can give you that sense of calm that you so deeply desire. I'm sure that back on the physical plane, you tried to control things, and you did so ever so imperfectly. Why? Because nothing is under your control. Everything's up in the air at all times, and there ain't nothing you can do about it.

You were probably hoping that would all come to an end when you got here. The truth is, you have no idea what's waiting for you on the next sphere. No clue how you're going to handle all the challenges that lie ahead, those that will refine your soul and prepare you for the next life. and that's okay. You just got to learn to be. Stretchy. I'll give you an example from my own story. Not long ago, I was hoping to head over to watch the tarantula king's practice and riding the buck in Havillina. That's with a B, not an F, in preparation for the upcoming desert rodeo. It's so much fun, because when those tarantulas fly off and hit the ground, they kind of explode and spiders go flying everywhere.

I know everybody's dream is to see that, right? Anyways, a traveler showed up, and Tandy was nowhere to be found. Super unprofessional. I went for a walk. You're the one that suggested it. Be that as it may. This lady walks in, and she notices that we have in our inventory a delicious red beverage called cheer wine. I'm not sure why they call it that on account of there being no wine in it.

I'm guessing it's because you cheer when you drink one. and whine about it being gone when it's empty. So this woman, in her time on the physical plane, used cheer wine and everything imaginable. And she told me every single recipe. And because I'm polite, I listened, but... I knew I was missing out on the tarantula king practice. I was so...

What's the clinical term? Bumbed. But then... I got stretchy. How so? I looked for the opportunity hidden in my overwhelming disappointment. And what was that opportunity? New foods!

Listening to her talk about all these new recipes really got me thinking about how I could use cheer wine in my own concoctions. Mix a little ginger ale. with a cheer wine, a dollop of vanilla ice cream, boom, holiday fruit punch. A little cheer wine mixed with shack juice. You got yourself a flavorful sangria. I could go on. I was disappointed to miss the tarantulas even after learning all that I could make.

That's an okay way to feel, but I wasn't devastated because I made the most of the opportunity. So I encourage you, traveler, enjoy the road before you. There will be twist, there will be turns. But twist and turns are just the moves you make when you're dancing. And if you want to be a dancer, you've got to be stretchy. Give it a try, traveler. And in doing so, rest your stretchy soul. I like that one.

Thanks, Mack. You got it, bud. Now it's time to go to the phones. Hey, Mac, it's Kim. And unfortunately, the road got a little bit rough, feeling like the cactus involved. And the coffee that I brought from the station, I'm wearing it right now. Is there any way that you could send a change of clothes or maybe some more coffee?

Thanks. Hey, so you had an accident and you're blaming it on the state of the roads. The roads that cash recently just rebuilt, and I get it. You're embarrassed. God, I hope that wasn't a sentient cacti you hit. Anyways, I'm sending you a pair of my old mechanic jumpsuits. So you're gonna look cool as shit, which is nice, and I also sent you a couple pairs of Tandy's socks. Are you serious? I only have three pairs.

Yeah, man, that's why I only sent two, and a bucket of coffee. I sent those with a traveler named Carl. He's gonna find you, just make sure you're next to the road. I'm sure he'll recognize you because your car's gonna have a giant cactus laying on top of it. Okay, I think we got time for one more. Hello, friends. Nico Valerie here. I'm at a bar called the Long Paws, and I've made so many wonderful furry friends.

Maybe it's the beer in me, or the bears beside me, but I was feeling a little sentimental and thought I'd call and share a quote with you. After all, you may be wondering, how do I make friends with these bears so fast? Here's how, from the words of the captivating Kirk Vonnegut. If I want to make friends with him, I ask him what he'd be able. believes. He tells me, and I say, yeah, yeah, ain't it the truth. End quote. Well, I just kept asking bears, why it's better to be a bear than a human. And then I'll let them growl and roar and all the things a bear does. And then I say, yeah, yeah, ain't it the truth? And they

give me a friendly slap on the back and bring me another bear. Later, friend, someday I hope to catch you on the flip side, as they say. I wish I could make friends like that. Yeah, yeah. Ain't it the truth? If you find yourself traversing the astral plane and are in need of assistance, just visit a communication station and dial 947 Mac Help. That's 947-623-4357.

And that's our broadcast. Thanks for listening. Safe travels. If you'd like to learn more about desert skies, just use one of the computer modules located in communication stations along the Astral Highway. From there, visit desert skiespodcast.com, where you can sign our guest book, read some articles, or access transcripts. The song you were listening to before we interrupted was called Riding Off by Dad Weed. Here it is again. Safe travels.

It's not the way you blow my mind, and not the way you tow the line. It's our business and we do it, do to all, uh-huh, business and we keep it to our, say yes. Am I dead? Am I dreaming? Did I put that smile, a smile on your face? Now you bugs in a jar will you need me?