Dhru Purohit Show - #259: Find Your Purpose with This 30-Day Challenge with Alex Banayan

Episode Date: January 20, 2022

This episode is brought to you by Eight Sleep, InsideTracker, and BiOptimizers. We’ve all gone through phases where we feel lost or stuck. It might be that you don’t know how to reach a goal you already have in mind, or maybe you don’t even know what your next chapter looks like. The steps for figuring out your purpose are simpler than you might think, and you can even work through them solo. It just takes some dedicated time and thoughtfulness.  Today on The Dhru Purohit Podcast, Dhru talks to Alex Banayan about his 30-day challenge for rediscovering your calling and pursuing the things that light you up.  Alex Banayan is the youngest bestselling business author in American history. His book, The Third Door, chronicles Alex’s seven-year quest to uncover the definitive mindset of exponential growth and success. The book is a #1 international bestseller and has been translated into more than a dozen languages.   In this episode, we dive into:     -The 30-day challenge for uncovering your purpose (8:11) -The most common reason why people quit the challenge (22:20) -How Alex got clear on his unique skills and goals, and broke free from the expectations of his family (31:15) -An exercise for when you feel stuck and need clarity (43:32) -Miscommunication and expectations (1:00:58) -One of the top regrets of the dying (1:06:11) -The Third Door framework (1:09:41)  -The number one reason people don’t go after their dreams (1:10:13) -Alex’s quest to uncover success (1:30:01) For more on Alex Banayan, follow him on Instagram @alexbanayan, and through his website http://thirddoorbook.com/. Get his book The Third Door at https://amzn.to/3cnzT1L. This episode is brought to you by Eight Sleep, InsideTracker, and BiOptimizers.    Eight Sleep’s Pod Pro mattress is so smart that it adjusts your temperature and also gives you individualized recommendations on how to sleep better the next night. To get yours, go to eightsleep.com/dhru to check out the Pod Pro mattress or mattress cover and save $150 at checkout.   InsideTracker provides detailed nutrition and lifestyle guidance based on your individual needs. Right now, they’re offering my podcast community 25% off. Just go to insidetracker.com/DHRU to get your discount and try it out for yourself.   Magnesium Breakthrough from BiOptimizers really stands out from the other magnesium supplements out there. It contains 7 different forms of magnesium, which all have different functions in the body. There isn't anything else like it on the market. BiOptimizers is offering my community 10% off, just head over to magbreakthrough.com/dhru, with code DHRU10. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The 30-day challenge is for anybody who's wondering what their next chapter is, or they're on their path but are just feeling blah. Hi, everyone, Drew Prode here. Today we're talking about the 30-day challenge that anyone can do to help them step into their true purpose. Stay tuned for a fascinating episode. This episode is brought to you by 8th Sleep. There is nothing worse than restlessness, nasty night sweats, and constant tossing and turning when you just want some restful deep sleep.

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go to 8Sleep.com backslash Drew and use the code D-H-R-U-Drew to check out the Pod Pro mattress or mattress cover and save $150 at checkout. That's 8Sleep, E-I-G-H-T-S-L-E-E-E-P dot com backslash Drew, D-H-R-U to make the investment in your sleep fitness today. Have you ever gone to your doctor for your normal annual physical? and after sitting with them for 10 minutes, they quickly look at your labs and tell you, hey, everything looks normal.

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you can track your progress every day and they have an amazing support team to have. help you with any questions you might have. Inside Tracker looks at everything from metabolic and inflammatory markers to top nutrients and hormones. It even tests your cholesterol levels to help you better manage stress and you have the option to see how your inner age compares to your chronological age. Traditional lab tests can be hard to read on your own, but Inside Tracker makes their results easy to understand and even provides tips on how to use food first for optimal nutrition. Right now, InsideTracker is offering my podcast community 25% off their system. Just go to insidetracker.com slash Drew.

That's D-H-R-U to get your discount code and try it out for yourself. That's InsideTracker, I-N-S-I-D-E, Tracker. T-R-A-C-K-E-R-com backslash Drew, D-H-R-U for your 25% off. Welcome to the Drew-Peroid podcast. Each week, we explore the inner workings of the brain and the body with one of the brightest minds in wellness, medicine, and mindset. This week's guest is Alex Benayan, a dear friend and best-selling author. Alex is on the podcast today to talk to us about his 30-day challenge,

a radically amazing challenge that will help anyone, anyone who actually does it, step into their true purpose and calling. We live in a time where there's many people that are thinking about switching careers. Maybe you want to get into the wellness space and maybe you want to start a health career. But a lot of people don't know how to get started and they don't even know what they want to do. That's why we want to do this special episode with Alex to help you on your journey of whatever it is that you want to do in life. And this is bigger than just a job. This 30-day challenge will help you in the process. A little bit about Alex. He's the youngest best-selling business author in American history. The third door, his best-selling book, chronicles Alex's seven-year

quest to uncover the definitive mindset of exponential growth and success. The book, is a number one international bestseller and has been translated into more than a dozen languages and has been claimed by the New York Post as a joy to read. Over the course of his unprecedented journey, Alex's research led him to interview some of the most innovative leaders of the past century, including Lady Gaga, Larry King, Maya Angelou, Steve Wozniak, Jane Goodall, Jessica Alba, Quincy Jones, and many, many more. Alex is on Forbes 30 under 30 list, business insiders most powerful people under 30. Alex's is generation's leading expert in high performance and personal development, having been featured in Fortune, Business Week, Washington Post,

Fox, NBC News, and more. If you're asking yourself any questions about your career, if you're asking yourself questions about what is it that you truly want to do and what do you want to do next, I'm excited for you to listen to Alex's breakdown of his 30-day challenge, which is simple and yet so profound to help give you the answers to your questions, but not from somebody else, from your own awareness and practice. I think you're going to enjoy this episode. I'd love to hear from you and Alex would too. Hit us up on social media if you decide to do the 30 day challenge and let's jump in to today's episode. Alex, welcome back to the show. It's not going to have you here. I'm so excited. You're on the tour right now for the book. It's out, the relaunch of it.

Let's jump in and give people some immediate value. And then we'll explain the context of the book and everything else. Last time you won the podcast, you at the very end of the interview, we talked about this thing called a 30-day challenge. And it was buried in there. A lot of people saw it. But a lot of people didn't. And I want to start there. And really this brings up the question, which is so many people have the question, I don't know what to do.

What is my purpose? What is the next job, career thing that I appreciate. thing that I should pursue and I don't have a framework on how to move forward and you created this whole system and methodology. Talk about it. So first of all, dude, I'm so happy to be here. Thank you. And I would say the biggest thing that I've noticed, even just in the past few months, is everyone I've talked to is harboring the same secret. And it's that secret where they're thinking about it when they're going to bed, when they're in the shower, when they're on their final Zoom of the day. it's essentially this question of what am I doing with my life and what's the next chapter going to look like

and the reason it feels like the secret is when I talk to people and I sort of like pull it out of them there's almost this guilt that they shouldn't be feeling it like you know if you're lucky enough to have a job who are you to complain right now in a time like this or if you're you know even if you don't have consistent work it's like other people are really some there's this almost this uh this this guilt and this should that you should just be grateful, and anything other than gratitude means you're a bad person. Dude, the reality is, are you a bad person if 90% of Americans are considering quitting their job right now? No, it means you're a normal, healthy person.

And what I'll say is, actually, I read it recently in Man Search for Meaning with Victor Frankel. He says that there is a tension between who you are and who you know you can be that creates this distress that's actually essential to mental well-being. And what I've seen is that millions of people right now are feeling this sort of twisting of their stomach. And they don't want to talk about it. They don't even know if it's okay to be feeling it. But the question is, how do you find your path? How do you find the next chapter?

Because there's two questions. One is, what's my path? And two is, if I don't know what my path is, how do I even find it? So if anybody out there is resonating with this, I resonated with it. I did the third-a-challenge myself recently. My mom just did it. My best friends have done it. I tested it out with thousands of people at Google, Nike, MasterCard, Bank of America, Disney.

This is a simple tool to help you find the next stage of your life. And what I'll say right off the bat is everyone's desire. I know mine is. Is for a fucking owl to fly through the window with the letter saying, congratulations, you're a wizard. Like, this is your life, right? There's almost this fairy tale wish that you'll have a perfect map for the rest of your life. But what's actually realistic is not to have a perfect map for your whole life,

but to get a compass pointing you in the direction of the next step. And that's what the 30-day challenge gives you. It gives you a compass to help you find out your next chapter. And before you go further, I think that's such an important point because there is, one of the things that's tied deeply into just contentment. I'm not even going to say happiness, because happiness can mean a lot of different things. A sense of contentment is expectations.

Yeah. So sometimes we have crazy expectations that a job should fulfill us. A person should fulfill us. We were just chatting about relationships before we started recording. We put all this expectation that another person, another thing, a material object, like when I finally get that dream car, I'm going to be fulfilled. And really what I hear you saying is that, look, this is about taking the right step in the right direction.

Because, you know, I always knew from when I graduated high school that I wanted to be an entrepreneur. I didn't know growing up, though. Growing up, you know, you and I have immigrant parents. It's like you think you should be a doctor, computer engineer. Or you're out of the family. Or you're out of the family. Right. My parents are pretty liberal.

So they were like, whatever you want to do. That was what I'm projecting my child on me. But I know your story. We chatted about it last time. And the thing about it is that, you know, I didn't know that I want to be an entrepreneur. When one of the best pieces of advice when I knew that I wanted to go down that path was that this journey is going to be a long journey. And it's more if you achieve quote unquote external success, really you should be

asked yourself, who do I have to become? It's not about the success of selling a company, making that first million, whatever it is. It's who do I need to become character-wise to end up having that thing happen. And so I think the beautiful part and why I love this challenge, which you're going to get into in a second, is that it's really not about getting that external thing that finally completes us. It's about taking steps in the right direction that are actually a way to self-actualize. How do you take the talents, the skills, your unique perspective in the world and have

a container that you can start making progress towards applying that in a world where you get a chance to see it making a difference. That's exactly right. And I would say the third day challenge is for anybody who's wondering what their next chapter is or they're on their path but are just feeling blah. They just, the gas tank is empty. They don't know why. They feel stuck and they can't figure out what the problem is. The third day challenge is really powerful for people not only looking for their next chapter, but

but also wanting to get some extra fuel for the path they're currently on. So I've done it myself multiple times. It's changed my life. And it's derived from the 10 years of research I did studying the world's most successful people. So if anyone listening wants to do it, like this is the time to, you know, take out your notes, write it down. We'll have it in the show, notes, the steps. And this is how you do the third day challenge. And since we last talked, it's been honed to a much more exact science.

Because I've just tested on thousands of people since we last talked. and your audience is amazing. I got so much really good insights from people who did it back two years ago, three years ago. Yeah. Shout out to my cousin Vicos who listened and said it was one of his favorite episodes. Really? I love that. What's up Vikas?

Okay. So this is how you do the third day challenge. The first step, and I've learned, this cannot be shortcutted, is you have to go get a brand new notebook. It doesn't matter if it's a, you know, 90 cent journal. from pharmacy, but you have to go get a new notebook and write on the cover with a Sharpie 30-day challenge. And there's something about this being sacred and this being a physical thing.

You're not doing it on the note section of your phone. It changes the whole dynamic. Or your computer. You know, I had a friend that tried to do it on the computer and I said, please do not do it on the computer. It doesn't work. It's going to get lost amongst all the other notifications and noise and other stuff. And most importantly, it's not sacred.

You know, we had just to jump in as you're talking about this. I'm going to throw in a couple of thoughts here. We had Reverend Michael Beckwith come on the podcast. And he said, you know, Drew, I want to tell you about the origins of the word sacred. Sacred, the origins of the word sacred come from sacrifice. So what you're doing by making something sacred is you're sacrificing something. And that sacrifice gives you and unlocks the potential for something else. So by sacrificing convenience, by sacrificing, well, it would just be easier to do it to my computer or my phone.

It's a lot more convenient that way. You're making and you're giving power to this thing that you're making new. I love that's what marriage is. You're essentially closing doors everywhere else to create one special place. I love that. I'm going to hold on to that one. So yes, step one is you create a sacred notebook. And again, it doesn't matter if it's a $1 notebook, but a brand new notebook and write 30-date challenge on the cover.

That's step number one. Step number two, open up your phone. or your calendar system and find a 15 minute segment in your day. Preferably later in the day, I like to do it after work. I like to schedule. Sometimes I'll schedule it the hour right before bed or before dinner. But find 15 minutes where you can devote that segment for the next 29 days. 15 minutes for 29 days.

My mom recently did it. She likes to wake up at 5 a.m. She did at 5 a.m. God bless her. But like, you know, and she was doing it on the day before. reflecting the day before. So once you have that 15-minute window scheduled in, set a reminder, keep your journal by your bedside so it's visible and you can keep the habit going.

Step three is where you do the work. And step three is you're going to journal and answer the same three questions every day for the next 29 days. And these are the three questions. Question number one is what filled me with enthusiasm today. What filled me with enthusiasm today The question is not what made me happy What was fun The question is what filled me with enthusiasm

And we all know that feeling When your heart just sort of like Fills up and flutters And again it could be You know lower the bar for yourself It doesn't have to be a life changing Enthusiasmant It could be I heard a quote on this podcast

And oh it really hit or Oh I saw the barista and I were really Connecting and it just felt really good To see another human being Smile That's spark right some days your answer is like nothing and then you're going to write I wonder why it was nothing but the question is what filled me with enthusiasm say that's question number one question number two

what drained me of energy today that needs no explanation people are very good at question two I even have some people who almost get worried how good they are question number two so what drained me of energy and again it's not what pissed me off or what made me mad we all know sometimes you go on a perfect where you thought would be a perfect date a drainage of energy or you did your presentation that you were waiting for and so excited about in a drainage of energy. So it doesn't always correlate with something that's good or bad. We're talking about that feeling of you walk out a bit more slumped than you did before.

Question three, what did I learn about myself today? What did I learn about myself today? And what you're going to do is for 15 minutes, you're going to answer these three questions. And you're going to free write it. I highly recommend not bullet pointing because bullet points almost allow you to sort of bullshit it and, you know, throw a few things and move on. You know, really write it out like a journal entry. And what's going to happen is it's like going to the gym. Some days you might miss a day.

You were out parting and you missed. It's fine. If it takes you 33 days to cover these 29 entries, it's fine. Just keep at it. some days will feel like just like going to the gym think of this like your cardio some days will feel fun some days will feel like a drag some days will feel energetic some days you'll hate it it doesn't matter you keep doing it because it's the repetition that brings the results now when you get to your 30th entry that's your graduation ceremony and what you're going to do

on day 30 is you're going to carve out a whole hour and you're going to take your notebook and you're going to go somewhere that's festive for you. That feels like a graduation ceremony. Your favorite restaurant, favorite cafe, beautiful parks, dress up nice. I actually see, I've noticed that the more someone leans into the fun on day 30, the better the results. Now, what you're going to do in that hour, turn your phone off, put on airplane mode, and you're going to read through your prior entries.

And you're going to read them the way an anthropologist might study a cave person. you know, looking for patterns and studying the clues. And then at the end of the hour, you're going to write your 30th entry, but it's going to be different. The questions are going to be, what filled me with enthusiasm this month, would drain me of energy this month, what did I learn about myself this month? And the difference is you're going to answer these questions, not in these long paragraph journal entries. You're going to write them like a single sentence headline you would see in the newspaper. And at the end of that hour, those three headlines become your graduation certificate for the 30-day challenge. And again, what is guaranteed?

I've seen people span the spectrum here. I know some people who have literally quit their job and changed industries because of the 30-day challenge. I know some people I was just working with a Google software engineer doing the 30-day challenge. He thought he wanted to quit his job. He did the 30-year-challenge. He realized he actually liked the job. He just needed new boundaries out. work. And it filled him with a form of enthusiasm. He couldn't find pushing through. He actually

needed to step back into the third day challenge. Perspective. It gave him perspective. It gave him perspective and it helps you. I am a big believer that action follows clarity. A lot of people ask, well, what am I going to do after the third day challenge? Well, it depends what the clarity is going to be. Don't focus on what to do. Focus on the clarity component. The third of day challenge, I believe it's Ram Dass has this beautiful quote about I'm sure you know it, cleaning the mirror, defogging the mirror. I don't know that one. But essentially the idea is the more clarity you can have about where you are today,

the more obvious it becomes about where you're going. And again, think of the compass. The compass is actually a relative tool. It says you're standing here. North is that way. And that's what the third day challenge does for you. I guarantee if you do this, within 30 days you will know yourself better and you will have a clear idea of where you're headed next. Now, before we talk about more about the benefits and what you've seen and people are on there, let's talk about how many people do you think who want to do it actually end up doing it?

And what I mean by this is that I want to ask you what are the most common things that you have seen from corporations to your friends doing it to family members? You mentioned your mom did it. I love to people that are just random readers that did. did it from our episode and I think it's going to be in this version of the book that's out there now too. What are the reasons that people stop, get stuck and quit or give up? Great question. Great question. I've been shocked by how similar this is to athletics.

The number one reason people stop the third day challenge. When they start. There's other reasons people don't start. Right. If they start, the number one reason they stop. going back to the gym analogy on day six they take off their shirt, look in the mirror, go, I do not look like a bodybuilder,

this shit doesn't work. And they're out. I'm not seeing results. I'm not seeing results. Which, by the way, we know that that's absurd in our physical health. You know, if someone starts working on a new diet and they don't feel completely different after day six

and they call you up, you're going to say, yeah, keep doing it. In fact, they often feel worse in the first few days when they're doing it. That is fascinating. I've never put that together, but that actually does happen. They feel worse because they're exercising your muscle in the case of one of the protocols that we put out there.

I'm going to keep this as part of my explanation in the future because the many feel worse. Yeah. I get calls saying it's broken. No. What happened is you've been telling yourself you feel fucking great. And every night now you're saying you have no answer for number one in a whole list on number two and you're terrified. You weren't feeling your emotions fully and now you're pretty.

present to them. You can't escape them or you were medicating them. Right. Through alcohol, through, you know, Instagram, TikTok, whatever. And now you're face to face with the reality that's in front of you. The result, what I promise people is trust the challenge. If you stick to 30 days, it will lead you somewhere good. But like you said, it's not going to feel enjoyable the whole time. And what I tell people is, again, it's like going to the gym. If you want to just feel good the whole time, that's not the gym. That's the spa. An athlete goes to the gym and feels sore and tells themselves, wow, I did a good workout. But in personal development, we open up our journal, do the 30 challenge. We feel emotionally sore.

Like, ouch, I don't want to see my best friend in that light. Like, ooh, ouch, I don't want to see my boss like that. And we feel sore inside and we go, this exercise doesn't work. or going back to why you said, you know, 90% of Americans are wanting to quit their job. And I'm sure globally, you know, the percentages are high as well too. There's also this feeling of like a lot of people who are listening, they like their life. They have a good family situation. They have a partner that they, that they love. You know, there's a lot of things that they're very grateful for.

You know, chances are if you're listening to a podcast like this, there's elements of your life that are doing pretty well. Yeah. And it feels like, who am I to? to put a critique on my life. I have it good enough. Again, going back to that analogy that you shared earlier. Which, by the way,

God bless you. If that's how you feel like by all means, and if that's, if you want to keep going, I'm actually a huge believer in that. Like, keep going. This is an exercise for people who want growth.

And by the way, at different stages in life, there are some stage in my life where I want to sleep in. I don't want to grow. You know? And there's some, know, there's seasons in life. There's some seasons where you want to hit the gym at 6 a.m.

And there's some seasons where you want to sleep in and meditate. I love it. Each season is good and valuable and wonderful. If you care about growth at this season of your life, growth requires a healthy tension. A healthy tension. And again, I want to be very clear. There's two kinds of distress. there is the distress that comes from like you said like medicating like you're drinking away your problems or you know there's that kind of stress

there's you go to a coffee shop and they don't have oatmeal and you freak the fuck out that's an unhealthy distress but a healthy distress is actually you getting closer and closer to your truth and it being a little scary that's a healthy distress

Because what I've learned is that tension is the seed for growth. So if you are tossing and turning in bed, if you're sitting in a Zoom meeting being like, what the hell I'm doing here? Embrace that tension because it is the seed for positive change. You know, you've mentioned that you've done this at different points in your life. And of course, you've formulated it into a framework, which is fantastic, by the way, so that other people could benefit from it. I've done a version of this, again, before I even knew you, you know, there was versions that I did in my own life. And one of the things that led to the creation of this podcast was I was at a stage in my journey as a human being and also as an entrepreneur. I had a great business.

I had and I still have a great business partner. I had a great team and still have a great team. I was very fortunate to have worked for many, many years. I've been an entrepreneur since basically 2,000. four, like right in the middle of college, I became an entrepreneur. So I've been at it for a while. So I achieved some level of financial success that was there. A lot of things were great.

But I had this internal feeling in my gut. You know, we call our gut in my world of functional medicine, our second brain. And if you really think about it. But in spirituality too, right? In spirituality too. But our gut has almost as many nerve endings, neurons, as does. our actual brain. Our gut is the center of perspective.

That's why we have phrases like gut check, trust your gut. What does your gut say? There's actually a reason. My stomach is twisting. My stomach is twisting, right? In my gut feeling, I was feeling a little stale. Everything is going well. And I was feeling like I needed to be challenged and I wanted to do something new.

And when I was sitting down and I was thinking about what do I actually enjoy what can fit in to my schedule and what actually turns me on what do i want more of and as simple as it sounded to everybody else i was so close to it that i didn't realize that what gave me a lot of energy and i didn't do it as a full 30-day challenge but i was meditating and visualizing on it on a weekly basis i was like after i sit down and have a conversation with a friend after i sit down and and help somebody with something after i have a deeply fascinating conversation about some sort of new element of science or wellness or whatever, I get fired up. Yeah.

I was like, why not hit record? This is early 2018 podcast. You know, they're out there, but they're not as big as they are right now. And I was like, why? Actually, this was end of 2017, I decided. And when I started sharing that with other people and I got really fired up and I reorganized my life and I was like, here's how we're going to do it. Here's what I need to, you know, have help with to make it happen.

And everybody around me was like, dude, duh, you're great at that. You should absolutely do it. And why I'm sharing the story is that sometimes we're so close to things that if we don't take the opportunity for perspective and zooming out, we won't see what is obvious in our next step in our development. The word obvious is the key. And again, that's why it's called the 30 day challenge or not the five day challenge. You might even have a clue come up if you do it for. five days. But by doing it for 30 days, you will see some obvious shit. You will see some stuff that's unavoidable for good and for bad. It depends where you are. If where you are in life

there's actually a toxic relationship that needs to be healed and restructured, it's going to be obvious at the end of the 30th challenge. If you have a passion that you're craving and you haven't taken a step forward with it, that's going to be obvious. than the 30-day challenge. The key is it's the repetition, like you said. It's the repetition that makes it obvious. And that's the greatest clue you can have to what your purpose is. Talk about the 30-day challenge in your own life at different stages.

Whichever stage you want to pick, tell us about how doing the exact challenge or something like it that ultimately became the challenge shaped your path that you were on. The third-day challenge has evolved over many years. The version I'm sharing with you is its most tightly iterated version and I've done this version this year myself too. But I would say the origins of it came from the very beginning of the third door journey. You know, as you know, I was 18 years old. I was spending every day lying on my dorm room bed staring at the ceiling,

wondering what I want to do with my life. And like you know, I came out of the womb with MD stamped on my behind and got sent on my way to be a doctor. And in college, I was the pre-med of pre-meds. And what's fascinating is when I actually reflect back onto my childhood, like, you know, Persian culture, you appreciate this. When I think back to my, you know, days going to my grandma's house every day of summer vacation as a little kid,

I would just be having the best time my life. I would be, like, organizing my cousins and making plays. I would be, like, doing, like, you know, these, comedy skits. I literally, I didn't even know what SNL was, but I would like take the family camcorder and like do these like five minute. I would write out comedy skits making fun Persian culture like satires. I did like my own like Persian SNL as a 10 year old and I would just have the time of my life with my cousins.

I would invent games with them. Like I invented what I later found out was called baseball. I was just this wacky kid in a very isolated immigrant culture. And I remember, you know, at the end of the day, like sitting at the dining room table with my grandma, my mom, and my uncles and aunts. And, you know, my grandpa being like, Alex, you know, I was watching you all day. And you're going to grow up to be such a great doctor. And when you're 10 years old, you're like, damn, he must see something that I don't understand. Because, like, I'm having the time of my life here.

So I must really be destined to be a doctor. And it wasn't until I was in college the first time away from my family. You know, you're in the dorms that I had the space to even feel this. And when you start being a pre-men, it's not a joke. You're in those biology classes. You're in those chemistry classes. It's, you know, it's not fun and games. So I started feeling what I talked about, this tension.

Now, at the time, though, I villainized the tension. I was terrified of the tension. And still at different times in my life, I still get scared. Oh, no, what is this tension? Something's wrong because I don't feel good. I don't feel good so something's wrong. But in hindsight, it was actually that what I want to do with my life, tension, and distress. That began my journey of asking myself in my own ways, what fills me with enthusiasm, what drains me of energy, what am I learning about myself?

Now, at that stage, I didn't have the 30-day challenge to make. make it structured. So I sort of was doing it on my own ad hoc. And then what ended up happening is I spent, as you know, the next 10 years studying the world's most successful people. So for business, I interviewed Bill Gates, music, Lady Gaga, Jane Goodall, Jessica Alba, Larry King, Quincy Jones, Steve Wozniak. And what I realized is in their own ways, they all did the same thing too.

And not just once when they were starting their career, it was this constant iteration. You know, Bill Gates stepped down as the CEO of the biggest company on Earth. to start a philanthropy where he's studying feces recycling and poli eradication. That's because you change what fills you with enthusiasm changes at different stages in your life, which is a beautiful thing, which is why the third-day challenge works when you're 60 years old and when you're 16. And if you do it again a year later, you're going to get a different result, which is a beautiful thing. You should be worried if you get the exact same results. So what I've learned is that I spent 10 years thinking with the third door I was studying success.

Only now can I see this was always a journey about studying what it takes to cultivate growth. Because that's what we really want. Dude, you start a company and it goes really well and you have a huge product lawn. What do you think the next day when you're with your team? All right. What's next? How do we do it better? What are some areas we couldn't improve it on?

You know, it's never, you know, you have a big book come out. What do you think? Oh, wow, this is great. How can we make next month sales continue to grow? At the end of the, and even when you have a loss, what do you think? Man, how can I do this better next time? And this isn't just about work. This is spiritual.

This is relationships. You go through a breakup. What do you want? You want the next relationship to be more deep, more profound, more connected, more joyous. And what I've learned is that after spending 10 years of setting success, I've realized that's not what we want. We just want to be better people next month than we were last month. Yeah, and better. The beautiful thing about that is that you get to decide what better is, right?

Everybody has their own definition of what is their version of making a difference. What is their version of what turns me on? That's why the questions are great. It's not what lights up other people with enthusiasm. It's what lights up me with enthusiasm. You know, the thing about enthusiasm is that Eckhart Tolle is like one of my favorite writers. His books like, you know, massively changed my life. His last book, A New Earth, inside of there, he talks about three states of true being.

He's like, when you're in the present moment, like when you're truly present. And you see this with animals, right? If there is an actual danger that's there, right? Animals will release a ton of adrenaline. They'll run away from the tiger or the lion or whatever they're chasing them. And then when they get settled, then everything's calm. They're back to normal, right? When it happens, which is again, more rare, they freak out and then everything goes back to normal.

With human beings, he's talking about as you step into the present moment, there's three states of being that are there. The first one, he calls joy. So joy is just the recognition of beauty that's out there in the world. You see a baby, you know, you see a sunset, whatever it might be. The next one is acceptance. Acceptance is you're driving on a highway. You get a flat tire. It's raining outside.

It's storming outside. Okay, you don't want this situation, but you're present to it. You're not living in the past. You're not living in the future. Like, oh my gosh, what's going to happen if I don't get there? Or like, man, bad things always happen to me. You're not in any one of those frameworks. You're like, okay, great.

This is the way that it is. Right? This is the situation. I'm not looking forward to it. I'm not joyful about it. It just is the way it is. and I got to handle this situation. I'm accepting of this moment the way that it is.

The last one is enthusiasm. Enthusiasm is a sense of, you know, people think about happiness and that word is so loaded, I think he even writes this in the book, that he didn't want to say that. He wanted to say enthusiasm. It's just this any kind of thing that lights up that little bit of fire. And it's exactly what you're talking about. And the beautiful thing is that so many of us,

just like you were talking about the story of your grandfather, telling you like, oh my gosh, you're going to be an amazing doctor. Our definitions have been so shaped by us buying into what society wants for us. Society, parents, grandparents, spouse, anything. Instagram ads. Instagram ads. What we think that somebody else wants.

We think that getting that thing is our version of enthusiasm. And it's only until you actually see. stay present every single day looking at actually, no, what actually brought me a sense of enthusiasm today? You may find something totally different than what you thought it was. I had a big realization when I started doing the third of day challenge at scale. And I started realizing, yes, it's great with, you know, young entrepreneurs. Yes, it's great with people who are maybe at a later stage in their life.

what I've been fascinated by is how it affects what I call the ambitious professional. I would imagine it's a lot of your listeners, people who are sort of like right in their sweet spot, they're on their grind, they're growing constantly. The third-to-day challenge really affects them in a way. I don't even think they even know how it's affecting them. And what I've realized, because I've a lot of had to reflect on myself, we have been so trained, as you mentioned, by society, by our families, to hone our muscles of achievement and accomplishment. You know, you go back to kindergarten.

Your teacher is happy when you do what, when you turn in your homework. Your parents are happy when you do what? When you get an A. You are told congratulations when you win the game. Right? Our entire, and I've had to learn this in therapy, there's a huge different between the implicit and explicit messages we get from society. An explicit message is, you know, your mom's saying eat your vegetables, an implicit message is you wake up in the middle of the night and your mom is eating chocolate ice cream in bed. Which one has the biggest hold on a child's behavior?

Yeah. It's the implicit messages. Now we take that into our, you know, work world and we're told by. our companies. We like work-life balance. We want you to be a whole human. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. These are the explicit messages. They're telling us, but what's the implicit reality? You get promoted with the results. You get arrays with the accomplishments. You get the company award at the end of the year if you surpass the quota, which, by the way, all great and fine. But what that does to us as human beings is it makes us completely hone one muscle,

which is our ability to focus on achieving a goal, achieving a to-do list, which is fine. But that is completely useless when it comes to trying to find out what your path is and what's next for you. Your muscle that has been honed since childhood to chase to-do list, A's trophies,

is not going to be the muscle that's going to help you find what your next path is. And what the 30-day challenge attempts to do is it begins, like, again, very slowly working this muscle of not, what did I get? The question is not, what did I get done today at work? Or what didn't I get done? People are very, have you ever, like, seen a friend and how was your day? And they said, very productive. Like, I hear that all the time. And I laugh on the inside because I don't want to be mean.

But I'm like, I didn't ask you if you're doing productive at all. What I'm asking is what filled you with enthusiasm. That's what I'm asking, you know. So what the 30-day challenge does is it starts, you know, someone who did grow up very accomplishment focus. It begins to rework our muscles and warm them up in a very gentle way to refocus on finding what makes us come alive. Because if I've learned one thing this year,

It's by rediscovering what makes us come alive that points us in the direction to the reason we are alive. It's by rediscovering what makes us come alive that shows us the very reason we are alive. And that has changed my life forever. Powerful. A lot of what drives our focus is questions, right? A lot of people talk about this. You've talked about it before as well. What are some examples that you can think of of questions?

You know, we've talked about the empowering questions that come with doing the 30-day challenge, which will do a refresher into the podcast. Everybody, you know, remembers what we're talking about? What are some disempowering questions that are often assigned? Just like we have a smoke detector, right? So we have a smoke detector in this building. That smoke detector is going off. It's like, hey, look, something is going on, right?

So we need to pay attention. A lot of times people actually don't know. What I found is that some people feel so numb or there's so much in the, the rat race of life, they're not even sure how they feel. But if you start sharing some questions, it's like, are you asking yourself this question? Are you asking this question? That might be an indication, just like a smoke detector, that you're thinking about something. Any questions that come to mind that are disempowering questions that people are asking themselves, that is probably a good indication that the 30-day challenge could be a good use of time in

your life right now? My favorite word is the word stuck. I'm sure you hear it all the time too with people you work with. The word stuck comes up a lot and it's not, I would call it like it's not accomplishment relative. I know people who are crushing it and say, why do I feel so stuck? I know people who are having trouble getting a job and say why do I feel stuck. So it's not one group owns that word. And what I've learned is the word is so relative. because essentially stuck is a perception of your life.

Again, it's a feeling, it's not a fact. And if you're open to it, I have another tool that helps people with that question. So particularly what I've been doing in the past few years ever since we last spoke was taking the research of the third door, this 10 years of research, and trying to create really simple tools that an idiot can use because that's my specialty. I like to joke like if you want a tool that is really well research, you know, talk to Drew, talk to Dr. Heiman, you know, talk to some, you know, really smart academic people. If you want something that you can do on the back of a napkin that a toddler can figure out, that's my expertise. We need both in the world.

Yeah, we need both in the world. And actually, you know, in all seriousness, I think it's its own trade in and of itself, which is my brain gets very overwhelmed with complexity. and I feel very calm with simplicity. And by the way, just for anybody who's listening, everybody's brain does that in any category. Take a category that's going to be new to me. You want me to learn archery? I don't want the complex explanation.

I need the straightforward explanation. What's the one thing I need to know? What's the one thing that I need to know? And it's so key because we often think, one of the things that I've seen, is that we often feel and we have this belief that everybody else has it figured out besides me. Right.

We all have areas of our life where we're still trying to figure it out. So finding the simplest way down the pathway is so key. I find relief in simplicity. Essentially what the third door is is me spending 10 years studying successful people and essentially summarizing it in 30 seconds. I find comfort and simplicity. And I find some certainty in it too. So what I've been doing is just in different aspects of people's lives,

whether it's finding their path with a third day challenge or getting unstuck with this sun in the clouds exercise is taking these topics that everyone deals with, particularly if you're setting out on anything new. A new project, a new business, a new role in your company, a new area of your job is expanding, a new relationship. When you're starting to set on anything new, you face the same things. Fear, getting stuck, figuring out what the path is, handling rejection, dealing with failures. and my realization is each one of these things you can spend a lifetime trying to master.

And a realization I came to a few years ago was, what if I just completely give up and completely abandon hope that I will master any of these subjects? And a sense of relief came over me, and it opened up a new question. I said, okay, well, now that I've given up on being an expert, what's a judo flip I can do to just get myself some clarity and some relief and move forward with it? And that opened up a whole new way of thinking. So again, you can think of the 30-day challenge as not you completely mastering your life plan. It's a judo flip to just get the problem, flip it on its back, get you some clarity and move forward within 30 days.

Another one of these tools is called the sun in the clouds. And this is for anybody right now who's feeling stuck and doesn't know why. You can't do the third day challenge properly if you just feel completely stuck. You can't deal with your fears if you're feeling completely sucked. So I like to think of the sun and the clouds exercise. It's sort of like your morning stretch. And this is how you do it. And it's super simple.

It takes 15 minutes to do. All you have to do is you take a sheet of paper and take a pen. And you draw a line right down the middle and a line across the top. So you have a T graph. On the upper left hand corner, you're going to doodle a gray cloud. And then on the right hand corner, you're going to doodle a shining sun. And what you're going to do is you're going to take about seven, seven, eight minutes. And, you know, put your phone on airplane mode and a set of timer.

And you're going to bullet point every single thing in your life that makes it feel like a cloud is hovering over your head. And the more specific, the better. So name names of people. You know, no one's going to read this. So it's personal to you. Name names of people, places, activities you have, even thoughts you have that enter your head and make it feel like a gray cloud is over your head.

And again, you want to do that for seven minutes. Even if you do it for two minutes and you think you're done, sit there and just wait because things will come up. At the end of the seven, eight minutes, you're going to go to the right side and do the same thing about what makes it feel like a sun is shining on your face. So you're going to do all that, and by the end of it, you now have this full chart, essentially clearing up all the fog and showing you exactly where you are today at this moment.

Now, the secret of the exercise, though, is you're going to take this sheet of paper and put it by your bedside. And every day for the next seven days, you're going to take one minute, and you're going to read over the chart just to yourself before you start your day. what this does is you know you go back you had mentioned earlier we're almost being advertised to by society by families by work by instagram ads telling us what we should be focusing on what ends up happening with the sun in the clouds is you take that power back you're now advertising to yourself every morning these are the things that make me feel like shit these are the things that light me up and what the Sun of the Clouds does, is it just almost guarantees more instant clarity in your life? And I've had people who have felt extremely stuck do the Sun and realize how much great things

are in their life and actually honing that awareness. I've also had people who have come to me. I had this one Google executive who did the Sun in the Clouds and pretty much told me immediately when he did it, he said, Alex, I broke your exercise. I'm like, how is that possible? How do you break this exercise? He goes, well, I thought my life was great, and then I did the exercise, and it doesn't look as great as I thought. And I said, look, just he did this after he did the 15 minutes,

before he did the seven days. I said, just trust the exercise and do the seven days and see what happens. And sure enough, by the end of the seven days, I said, how did it go? And he said, well, the first three days, it was actually pretty uncomfortable to read my cloud list. I liked reading the sun. I didn't like reading the clouds. But after like three or four days of just reading it over and over and over again, I just naturally like picked the phone and called the person on my cloud list

that I've been avoiding having a serious conversation with for the past year. And then I actually went and fixed the thing in my house that's been on my cloud list that I've been avoiding for the past couple months. And what's interesting is while he didn't feel more joyous by the end of the seven days, he actually was a lot more realistic about where he actually is in life. And he, again, the son of the cloud list didn't tell him to pick up the phone and call the person. But bro, when you're reading a cloud list every morning and there's a name of one of your top employees on that cloud list, by day four or five, you're going to pick up the phone.

I love it. And another way is like the cloud is like what's in your life that's heavy. and the sun is what's in your life that's light. And for years, sometimes people have the same person on both lists. Right. Because it could be an angle, right approach,

some component. And like this executive that you just mentioned, it just needs a shift, a small shift. Sometimes, sometimes we need a big shift. But often in life, we accumulate just like what I like to call, like,

debt, right? And it doesn't have to be financial debt. I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah. Or another word for it is, You accumulate all these little emotional splinters, these life splinters. Your living life, friction is going to happen. Things are going to happen.

You say something. You forget to apologize. You have a weird interaction and it's sitting on you and you need clarification. These splinters, this dead, this heaviness, it builds up. And the thing is, is that our mind, our mind wants to do right by us. When we are laying down at night and you see it so often for people, if you look at the top, I don't know if you've gone on the charts for iTunes. or Apple Podcasts, you look at some of the top, top 10, top 20 podcast.

At least like four of them are podcasts that help people sleep. And when you listen to these podcasts that are there that people use to help sleep, and you look at the number one reason that people have problem falling asleep is that they say their mind is too active. Well, our mind is so active because its deepest fear is that this pain point that we have is we're going to forget about it and it's going to still exist, which means that we're going to continue to be at threat, even if it's not a real threat.

I'm not safe. We're not safe. So it's going to keep on bringing it up and keep on bringing it up. And one of the craziest things about the word anxiety is what do we really mean when we're saying we're anxious? Is it that we are not addressing something? It's a lot of different things. Anxiety can mean a lot of different things. But one of the components that's there is that our mind.

is simply telling us that there's an area in our life that's unresolved and we need to focus on it. And by continuing to not focus on it or not being even present to what it is because sometimes people don't even know what it is, we keep on kicking the can down the road and the anxiety continues to stay. There's two things that came up while you're saying that for me. The first is that my favorite compliment I've ever gotten on the 30-day challenge came from an entrepreneur in Australia who did the third-day challenge. and at the end of it said, yes, I have more clarity on my path, but that's not what changed my life.

She explained to me that she had a chronic illness. And again, this is not medical advice. This is just one person's experience. I need to say this on a podcast like yours. But she said she hadn't had a full night's sleep beyond three or four hours in, I think she said maybe five or six years. She said after the third day challenge of the first night, she had a full eight hours of sleep in maybe five years. and that to me like made me tear up because it goes back to what you had just said, which is she just needed the space and the infrastructure almost to allow her mind to relax.

And sadly, you don't go into work or going to school or even going to church and they say, okay, this is the 15 minutes where you're going to completely be realized. with yourself. No, we just don't have that space in daily life. So it actually is up to us to go get that $1 journal and create that space for ourselves. Now, the word anxiety I think about a lot, because I'll feel it at times. I'll talk about it with my friends a lot. This is my own belief, and I would be curious to almost debate this out with like a sociologist or anthropologist.

My philosophy on this is we were as animals. evolved to be hyper, hyper vigilant, right? Boom, you see, I was in Africa this summer, probably one of my favorite stories of the whole year. I was in Africa this summer on like my dream, dream, dream trip. And I was on a, on a safari in Rwanda. And we were out there and seeing like, you know, elephants and giraffes. And in the afternoon, me and the guy, you know, we pull over to like have some sandwiches. is. We find this empty space and I say, I'm going to go to the bathroom. You know, I'm going to

find a bush. And he's like, okay, cool. You know, I want to be respectful and find a bush where, you know, I wasn't visible. And I'm walking through the Savannah and I see something move like right in front of me. And there's a single lion. And then I look to the right and there's five other lions under the tree. I have never been more present. You know, my entire life than that moment. thankfully it was all good they were not you know hungry for for some Persian

kabob in the form of Alex but what's interesting not only was this this magical moment being out there in environments like that I actually was very in touch with all all my emotions were in proper check my fear was

perfect in that moment and saw the line and it knew you're not going to the bathroom. You know, my fear was working perfectly. Thank God. People talk about how their dream is to be fearless. I am so grateful for my fear in that moment. Now, what happens is you come back to wherever home is for you, New York, Los Angeles, Omaha, you know, Atlanta, you name it.

And there's not lions on the street. You're sitting in a Zoom meeting all day. and this brain that has evolved over more years than we even know to instantly spot that line and know what to do in that situation. That fear has nowhere to land in modern society. So that's where the anxiety comes up. That's my philosophy, and again, I'm not a scientist, so I'm sure a lot of people in the comments section are going to say,

Alex doesn't know anybody who's talking about. But my current observations is our modern observations, is our modern society, for some of us, if we're lucky, we're pretty, we're somewhat safe. And again, I know it's not sure. I know there's parts of Los Angeles you can go to where you're not in that place of safety, but I don't know. You know, right now you and I are in this podcast studio and there's no present danger. There's a dormant part of our brain that is extremely specialized that has no job right now.

And I'll find a fucking job for us this week. It will find something in our relationship, something at work to latch on to. And that, to me, is the modern problem of anxiety. We've had Dr. Joan Rosenberg. I don't know if you've heard about her before, but she writes a lot about this topic. And she's like, you know, when we use the word anxiety, we really first, it may be true for some people. And, you know, it's very language can be very triggering for different people. A lot of times we want to hold on to, I'm just an anxious person.

We want to hold on to an identity. It's like, we want to really be asking ourselves. Right. What are we avoiding? Are we avoiding telling somebody that we're hurt? Do we feel disappointed? Are we angry? Like, is there some sort of other primary emotion? And again, taking this back to the challenge, when you do the clouds and the sun challenge,

where they do the 30-day challenge, we really want to peel back the layers of the onion from the noise of life. Life can be very noisy and you cannot always see what's going on. When you peel away those layers of the onion, you actually see and become present to things that maybe you just haven't said before. Communicated. You know, there's plenty of times I can speak as an employer of over 60 people inside of my, you know, companies together that I have. It's amazing how often miscommunication is a big part of just. all relationships, forget just even working relationships, intimate relationships, family relationships, everything.

It's amazing how many times a team member has come to me and said, hey, you know, I'm feeling really like anxious or I noticed that they're a little frazzled. And I sit down with them and say, hey, what's going on? We have a conversation. And at the end of the conversation, we realized that there might have been an expectation that they took that wasn't said, but they created meaning out of something. And it's like, oh, wow, I realize my job as their quote unquote boss, right, as their team member is to find these hidden expectations where both I have set an expectation explicitly. Explicitly.

Explicitly. And make sure we're on alignment and on the same page so that they're not carrying some weight that they shouldn't be carrying or in some categories where they're not getting the support that they need, right? being able to communicate so I can help them and we can find the pathway that's there. But so much of this comes down to the communication of being present to what's actually going on in our lives. It's the implicit expectations that freak us out the most. It's the implicit expectations that freak us out the most in relationship, at work, even with ourselves. I've been, for myself personally, exploring body image issues and things like that. I've had to go back and peel back to my childhood

that something I'm still struggling with and so working on is there was an implicit message that you're more loved if you're thinner. And by the way, there's also implicit messages forget about even in my family. Drive down a street here in Los Angeles and you look up onto a billboard, what does every billboard implicitly tell you?

You open up Instagram and you hit the Explorer page, What does every picture on that Explorer page tell you pretty much? And again, while I'm so happy there's explicit messages about body positivity out there, what are the implicit messages? You show up to a dinner party and someone says, oh, congratulations, you look so, you look so thin. Or, oh, you lost so much way. What are you doing differently? It's these implicit messages that create these expectations that grip our psyche.

And it's not until we do things, whether it's therapy, a 30-day challenge, have a thoughtful conversation with a friend that really, and again, it takes that repetition to take those implicit messages and bring them to the surface. Because then only then can we deal with it. Bro, we can't deal with this subconscious shit. Like, we need to force it to the surface, and that takes courage. So if I had to pick one supplement that's made the biggest difference in my overall health, it would have to be magnesium.

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and get your bio-optimizers, magnesium breakthrough today. I don't know if we talked about it last time you're on the podcast, but there's a palliative care nurse, Bronny Ware. You're familiar with her work? But I just love the palliative care whole world. There's something about taking care or spending time, if you are fortunate enough,

to spend time with somebody who's in the end stages of their life. Because in those end stages, if the person is here, they're not battling with some level of dementia, Alzheimer's, other stuff. Often what you find is that at that stage, there's a sense of freedom that comes in and the person is more raw with their truth. Because now when you know that you don't have any more future to look forward to, there's a sense of if I don't share my truth, who's ever going to know?

I've had that experience with multiple grandparents. And this nurse has had this experience. And she wrote an article about it, which ultimately turned into a book. And her name is Bronny Ware. And she, over the course of many years, was spending time with people who are on that end stage. Anybody that's not familiar, palliative care, you're, you know, the last few, maybe weeks, maybe a couple months left days in your life. And as she sat down, this truth started to merge with all these patients that she was there with. that she would check in and just sit there and be by their side.

And they would always tell her, just be present to them. You know, just be present to them, check in. And she would start to notice, and she started writing down these repeated regrets that would show up, that this person, guy, girl, man, woman, didn't matter. They needed to tell somebody what their regret was. And she started making a list of these regrets. One of the top regrets, which relates to everything that we're talking about here, was I wish I had the courage to live the life that I wanted to live instead of the life

that others expected me to live. That was the number one regret of people on their deathbed. And so as a prompt for anyone who's still with us here on the podcast and listening in and trying to find that angle like, okay, this sounds interesting and I'm really excited, but what is that prompt for me that's coming in? Ask yourself that question or imagine. were on your deathbed sitting there, would that question apply to you in some respects? Is there a part of your life where you wish you had the courage to live the life you wanted

to live instead of the life that other people, again, that could be news, could be the media, could be family, could be boss, could be whatever. And often that's well-intentioned. It's well-intentioned. Did you not have the courage to live the life that you wanted to live because you had pressure of living the life that others expected to you. It's a beautiful question. That hits me.

And I think about that a lot because if this is something, and of course, yeah, now I didn't know her by name, but of course I know that article in that work is one of the most, you know, well-sighted things about end of life. Makes you wonder if everyone's feeling this, why is it such a phenomenon? on. And my current thinking on it is, and I think about this with the third door. So, you know, those are the people who haven't, you know, listen to our first conversation. Essentially, the third door framework is, you know, life business success. It's like a nightclub, right? There's three ways in. There's the first door where everybody waits in line hoping to get in.

That's where 99% of people are waiting in line. There's the second door, the VIP entrance. And then there's the third door where you jump out of line, run down the alley, bang on the door a hundred times. crack up on the window, go through the kitchen, there's always a way in. And what I've learned about studying that world applies to people's regrets at the end of life, too. Which is what I've learned is that the number one reason people don't go after their third drawer, whatever their dream is, whatever is their true self. The number one reason people don't do it is not because of their inability to run down the alley or bang on the door or crack open a window. The number one reason most people don't go after their dreams is because they're too afraid to leave the line for the first door. And if you think about the analogy, it makes perfect sense.

The first door is the line where your parents raised you to go, where your school taught you to be, where your friends are probably all standing. You're probably being, if you're lucky enough to have a roof over your head and food on the table, that first door is providing all of that for you. you have to be a psychopath to leave that to leave that and run down a dark alley in hopes not guaranteed that you'll be able to achieve this stream you have whether it's a podcast or a book or starting a company or whatever or reaching for a new position

that you really are looking at it takes tremendous courage to leave the line for the first door and if you go to even you know, spiritual or emotional or identity questions for, you know, step away from career. If your family has a very, you know, I know I can relate to this, if your family has a very tight, implicit culture of you are part of this family if. It's never said that would be crazy.

If they say it, it's actually easier to combat it if they say it. But when they make you feel that you are good if you're a doctor or, lawyer. You are good if you get married before you're 30. You're good if you show up to all the family events and smile and say your life is good. To break out of that structure pretty much goes against the core evolution of human being staying in the tribe. And there's a reason your, you know, your primitive brain freaks the fuck out because it's terrifying to even question. question leaving that culture and that tribe because that tribe is what made you safe since you were little.

And again, it might not be a family structure. The tribe for you might be work. It might be your best friends. But we all have a tribe that has the culture and to even question leaving that culture can be terrifying. And I think that's what leads to that deathbed regret. You know, you were talking about Africa. A few years ago, you and I both went on a trip to Africa to my country.

I went back. Yeah, you went back. I remember you texted me. We went to Kenya, which is where I was born. Yeah, we went to, we went to Kenya. We spent some time over there. And I don't know if you remember. It was with the Samburu tribe, right?

I was with Philip when I texted you. Yeah, they were telling us about how in the past they have punished people who have committed like a very heinous crime, like murder, right? And their sort of societal norms for it. And one of the things that they were saying that is if you commit. admit like the worst thing that they could imagine, which would be murder, you are ostracized from the group. They don't do, you know, they don't kill you. They don't have capital punishment like we have over here.

But you are ostracized from the group. But not only that, for seven generations, your kids and their kids' kids' kids and their kids' kids, all the way seven generations are not allowed to be a part of the group. Now, that part sucks because, you know, if you're a parent or somebody did something wrong, you know, you're not part of the tribe. But I can understand from a tribal place that especially there's no, you know, practicing of execution, which is probably a good thing, you know, who knows, is that they're looking for what is the worst thing that we could do to somebody. The worst thing to deter them. Wow. Wow. And now we have to look at that from our modern lens.

Our modern lens is the biggest fear that people have, whether they realize. it or not is not belonging to that tribe. The tribe that makes you safe. The tribe that makes you safe. The tribe that makes you safe. It could be your family. It could be, as you mentioned. It could be a group of friends.

It could be a status or an organization of people. Our fear, whether we realize it or not, is being kicked out of the group. And now we have examples. And I went to go look this up after we met with this tribe. There are many examples of modern day hunter-gatherer communities around the world where their version of killing someone is kicking them out of the group. It's very common. You know what?

This is hitting in a deep place. Even animals do this. There's documented evidence that if a wolf, if a wolf is acting out inside of the pack in a way that's disrupting the order, they will be kicked out of the group and they will be shunned from entering back in. So there's some element of fear of that sometimes. we're so afraid of going for the thing that we want to go for in life because wired deep inside of our amygdala, our lizard brain, that part of us that is designed to maintain all that fear

and where all of our fight or flight comes from is this fear of what will other people think and will I get kicked out from the group. This makes me very emotional because many times, sadly, the thing that gets, that gets you kicked out of the group is the truest part of yourself, the person you love, the passion that makes you feel the most alive. And while, you know, being kicked out of the group for murder is a great thing. You know, we can sit here and spend hours talking about all the different cultures that will kick you out of the group for loving someone. That's not the person your parents want. love. They'll kick you out of the tribe for following a profession even. That's not the,

that's not an approved profession. And one of the hardest moments in life is to ask yourself, are you living for you or are you living for someone else? And the reason it's one of the hardest questions in life is because it goes up against that core. ingrained fear, that our version of capital punishment as human beings is not being part of that that tribe that makes us feel safe. And that tension between your true self and that desire to belong is what I would imagine for many people in life, life-changing moments. And I just, I cry when I watch a movie where someone chooses the right

the path of staying truth themselves in spite of the odds in spite of the threats is that beautiful quote by Joseph Campbell we must be willing to give up the life that we thought we wanted to live to live the life that we were meant to live and I think about that quote

because we're all on anybody that knows the work of Joseph Campbell the hero's journey we don't just go on one hero's journey in our life, you know, later on, and hopefully in our late 90s, hundreds, 120s with all the advancements in science that are coming, we'll be able to look back and we'll see, be able to see the bigger picture, the bigger circle that was there. But along the way, while you're in it, it's a lot of little circles, a lot of little heroes' journeys that are there. And every time, even if your life is pretty good, right?

Most people that are listening, their life is pretty good. There's a lot to be grateful for. There's a lot to be thankful for. there are still things that you're going through that are your unique contextualized versions. Now, you and I both had situations where we had, mine was less coming from my parents. It was more of the society component, but very similar things. We were in school on the path to be exactly that type of career that our respective Indian and your Persian culture demanded out of people out of it. In your case, it was a doctor.

in my case it was you know anything that would be considered a higher profession like an engineer lawyer doctor something like that even though my parents were very open-minded

to that there's just the implicit they're open-minded you can be an engineer too they're open-minded so the recognition of early on that quarter

called that quarter life crisis of like this is not the path for me this is not the path for me and some people have that in the beginning, and some people have that later in life. But regardless of when it happens for you, whether that's early on, whether that's much later, whether you're 90 years old listening to this podcast, we're always going through some version of that hero's journey where we have to

ask ourselves, what is that thing, that expectation, implicit or explicit, that we're holding on to that's preventing us from stepping into that next category of self-expression, joy, enthusiasm that we know we were meant to bring on the planet. And the other aspect of that is that every time we do it, it's not just about you anymore. Every friend, every family member who also has that spark, which is, by the way, everybody, whether people realize it or not, every time we take one step in the direction, even if it's a small step, towards that spark, that enthusiasm that you're talking about on the challenge, we make it okay for everybody else around us to do that too.

And that is a beautiful reminder. Sometimes the best reminder in life is that you not taking a step into the journey that you're meant to do, which only you know, by the way, is actually one of the most selfish things that you could do. People always wonder what's the best way to change someone's life? And the answer is you can't. you can't change their life. They can change their life. What you can do is change your life.

And let that change be an example of what's possible. Let's give a refresher on the challenge. Walk us through it again, right? Because I'm hoping, you know, this podcast is to get people hype. Let's get them hype. This is to get you hype to do this because there's a lot of things that we all know that are a good idea. We know that a lot of things are a good idea, right? We should eat healthier.

We should do this. We should do that. But the beautiful thing about this framework, and we love highlighting frameworks in this and our newsletter and other stuff to our community, is that we want to give you a process, a step-by-step process to fall into and also remind you about why this process works. So let's recap it again because we've just sold everybody listening on the idea. So let's walk them through the steps.

I love it. I'll do it quick and easy. so people can get right to it. Again, this is the 30-day challenge to help you find the next chapter. Step one, brand-new notebook. Write 30-day challenge on the cover. Step two, find a 15-minute window

that you can commit the next 29 days to. Ideally, towards the end of the day, whether it's after work, an hour before dinner, right before bed, 15 minutes you can devote to and set a reminder system. Step three,

you're going to answer the same three questions. every day for the next 29 days. And these are the three questions. Number one, what filled me with enthusiasm today? Number two, what drained me of energy today? Number three, what did I learn about myself today? Now, you're going to do this for 29 days as a free right for 15 minutes each day. Now, the next step is your 30th day.

And I call that the graduation ceremony. You're going to take an hour this time. And what you're going to do in that hour is you're going to read through your journal entries and study the clues. You know, dig up and look for the patterns. And what you're going to do at the end of the hour is you're going to answer three slightly different questions. What did I learn about my, or excuse me, the first one is what filled me with enthusiasm

this month, what drained me of energy this month, what did I learn about myself this month? And you're going to write those like a bold headline, one, two sentences max. And that sheet of paper is going to be your graduation certificate for the third day challenge, pointing you in the direction of your path. I want to go through a few rapid-fire questions that I know that our audience is going to be asking internally. Question number one, if I notice that my mind is saying this is stupid, what do I do? Trust the process and again go back to the gym analogy.

It's going to feel repetitive. That's why it works. It's going to feel boring at times. That's why it works. If this just felt great and magical, it wouldn't have the results. It's actually the repetition that you, changes your thinking. That's our goal. Question number two, can I do this with another person? And if that is okay, great question.

If that is okay, is there a type of person that I should pick or not pick? I love you for asking this question. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. The 30 challenge is great if you do it solo. I do it. I personally do it solo, but just I've tested this out with thousands of people. It works better in partnership. And sometimes that's even two, three, four, five different people. You're all on a text thread every day checking in and on each other. Yeah, choose people who aren't dragging their feet. Because if they're dragging their feet, they're going to drag you down.

If they're stoked, they're going to pick you up. So find someone with the right energy, not necessarily in a particular stage in life. Find someone who fires you up. Thirdy challenge works great in partnership. My gut instinct is, while it can be done with your, let's say, life partner, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, whatever it might be. I'm not 100% sure if that's the first place that I would tell people to go. Do you have any thoughts on that?

I agree. Actually, finding people who are of a similar mindset, but not particularly like a co-founder or partner. You need to have a little bit of freedom. A little bit of freedom. To be honest. Yes. To be honest.

Now, what I would say is if you do do it with your spouse or with your partner, great. The journal entries are yours and you have to have boundaries around that. not sharing. Now, if you want to share something you learned great, but no one has a right to read your entry when you're doing it in a partnership. I've had people write in to me saying they love the 30 challenge so much. They actually do it with their family every night at dinner. They all answer the three questions out loud. Now, that's not the exact challenge of journaling it yourself, but doing it in a community is very powerful. Now, we're setting the intention, again, going back to the beginning of this podcast, we're making this.

process sacred and that's why it works. And actually there are moments that people get into situations and life happens. So somebody who's doing it and sets intention is excited for whatever reason gets thrown off. Should they pick up where they left off or should they start over from the beginning? Pick up where you left off. And again, it depends. You know, you need to be very relative. If you ended up, you know, God forbid it, you stop it for three weeks.

Yeah, start it from the beginning. But again, like going, most of these questions can be answered to yourself at home if you ask, if I was going to the gym and doing cardio for 30 days, what would I tell myself? You miss a day? All good. Just go back the next day. You don't feel like it. All good.

Show up and just do the best you can. It feels like it's not working. Great. Limp through your treadmill exercise. Great. Like, you know, take it easy. Don't kill yourself, but stay consistent. Because, again, I'll tell you what happens.

It's not only are the results better at the end, you respect yourself more when you show up. And that's one of the greatest gifts that this gives you, too. You're showing up for yourself for 30 days. And that's powerful. It's super powerful. And it's just another reminder that there are so many times in our life that if you go back and you look back on your life, there's challenging things that you did no matter how much you feel that your self-confidence isn't there or you're lost or you're stuck or you don't know what the next step is.

There's plenty of times where even if you haven't done this exact 30-day challenge, you've done similar things that have been tough. And guess what? You made it through and you got the benefits of it. Human beings sometimes have a fuzzy memory. We forget how far we've come. But you've had it before. You've had it before.

No matter how old you are. And you can tap into that same energy again when stepping into this challenge. Any other do's or don'ts that you want to throw out there for the challenge. Yeah. Don't go back and read through your entries. Don't judge yourself if you're not getting any epiphanies. If it's day 15 and you're just feeling blah, keep going. It's normal.

A big thing is if you're sitting with a question and you cannot answer it, answer why you can't answer it. Explore why you can't answer it. Now, on rare exception, this is, I don't recommend this for everyone, but on rare exception, there is a fire extinguisher sort of pulling case of emergency. If you're, this happened one time with a young entrepreneur in Britain was doing this challenge this past year. About 10 days in, she calls me up and says, I literally, it's been 10 days. And I've had no answer for question number one. What filled me on enthusiasm, 10 days empty. The well is empty.

what do I do? And I said, you got to mix up some shit on your outside life. And something I told her very simply, I said, your job for the remaining 20 days, keep going, don't start from the beginning, keep going. For the remainder 20 days, I want you to call a new person every day for 20 days in addition to the challenge. And essentially what I was just trying to tell her is you need some inputs here. If you are in a really tough situation, whether it was during law,

lockdown or whatever. Isolated. And you're feeling isolated and you're closed off to the world. By the way, I didn't tell her to like, you know, go to a music festival or go to a business conference. I said, pick up the phone. Open yourself to the world. See what happens. Her 30-day challenge got so insane.

And she's one of the people I'm the most proud of because there was a night and day change. Because you just needed to open herself up to the world. So that's a big thing I'll tell people. So sometimes it's picking up the phone. Sometimes it's go talk to a stranger. Sometimes it's watch something or listen to something new. Watch a YouTube video of a speaker you've never seen before for the 30 days. If you're finding no answer for number one or no answer for number three for a long session,

you're not getting that much input in your regular life. So just up the inputs. Throw in some color in there. Now, you chat about this a little bit earlier, but it's just a good reminder that this all came. Even in our podcast where we were talking about the book and the origin, your story, and you being on the price is right. and funding the whole evolution. It's a fantastic.

People got to go back and listen to that after this. We have the link to the first interview in the show notes. This all came from people looking at all these incredible entrepreneurs and change makers that you interviewed. You mentioned a few, Lady Gaga. I think that was there also something with Maya Angelou? Did you have some interactions? Yeah, one of my favorite chapters is the one with My Angela. Yeah, Maya Angelou.

It's been a while since I've read the book. you know, incredible people that you came across and you were pursuing all them because you yourself were trying to figure out what got them to where they are. You wrote this beautiful book about your journey, some clues which you've shared in this interview. It's a fantastic book. You know, please pick it up. It's the relaunch of the book is out there right now. Yeah. And I think, did you add some additional material? So right now it's all the third aid challenge and all this stuff we're putting out right there. But the book, the third door, is the journey of the 10 years. Yeah.

So it's essentially me from the age of 18 going off to figure out how the world's most successful people launched their career. And it essentially became a quest to uncover the mindset of success. You know, no matter what you're looking for, no matter where you are in life, if you're trying to start something new, if you're trying to go after a dream, go after an ambitious goal, how do you do it? That's the question the third door explores. Right. And you found this pattern that you gave earlier, this analogy that people were taking this third door, right? Yeah. Oprah didn't become Oprah.

by trying to become the Oprah of that time, she took a different pathway to that area. Same thing with a lot of the individuals that you featured. And when you see, that's why biographies are like some of my favorites to read. Because this person that we put up on a pedestal, like an Elon Musk type character, when you see the actual ins and outs that they went through.

They were terrified the whole way through. They were lost the whole way through. They didn't know. They didn't know they were going to make it. They didn't know if the funding was going to come through. They didn't know if that book that they were going to write was going to get picked up. You know, there's this, I mentioned about Eckartola, you know, one of my favorite stories that I heard him share, which happened by actually, I met him through a third door process. What was the story?

What happened? So how I met him is that, you know, this is this is incredible teacher. He's changed my life. He's changed the life of so many people. He's pretty famous, but he has not been on Oprah yet. So he's not like crazy famous. This is a while ago. This is a long time.

Okay. Right? There's a long time ago. This is probably like 2006. And, you know, one of my big things that I've always approached in life is that I am not obsessed with wanting to necessarily meet anybody. I just want to be in their orbit. And that doesn't mean to be in their personal orbit.

I just feel like I want to contribute or give back. And one of the ways that I do that is I ask, how can I add value? Even this person that I never had dreamed of ever meeting, how can I just add value to their life or the spirit of the energy of the projects they're involved in? So there's an entrepreneur that I really look up to. It might be that, okay, meeting them would be great. But if they're supporting certain causes that align with my energy, how can I support that cause? So with Eckartoli, I had said, wow, you know, I saw this newsletter that they wrote that their, that his wife was looking to start speaking more often and that she was now taking on consults and other things like that. So I was the president of this youth group in the Indian community in the Jane tradition.

I love this so much. And I invited her to be one of the speakers for that event. You know, hey, we'll fly you out. You'll come and speak at the event. Would you be interested? And she accepted the offer. And my thing wasn't like, how do I meet this guy? How do I, you know, this?

It was not anything of how do I take. That wasn't even because people could see right through that, right? Even if you're not telling people straight up. Even if you had the intention that still wasn't the ask. That wasn't the ask, right? The ask was, how do I give back to this person who's made a difference in my life? And still to this date, that has been the way that so much abundance has coming into my life. Is this like, hey, how do I authentically give?

And by the way, that means that I'm not attached to the end result. If I don't meet that person, I don't do whatever, this is just something that I want to do. I want to give back. I want to make a difference in any way that I possibly can. She came. She had a great time. Right before she came, her assistant reached out and said, you know, Kim is her name. Shout out to Kim.

Kim would love to stay a little bit in New York. That's where the conference was. But she's never been. Would you be willing to, like, show her around a little bit? Oh, my God. And I was like, it would be my deepest honor. Right? So I said, tell me some of the things that she'd be into.

I know she was kind of into healthy eating, other stuff. So I messaged one of my friends. How old are you at this point? I am probably 21. This is such a good story. Okay, keep going on. So I plan this whole day to New York. a couple of days actually on the tail end of her trip.

And I showed her around and just, you know, really was just present with her, right? She had such a blast in on the last restaurant that we went to before her trip was done and I was driving her back to, you know, her hotel. I took her to this, one of my favorite restaurants at the time, this place called Pure Food and Wine. And gourmet, like incredible sort of like plant-based food, which is what we were both eating at the time. And we were sitting, we were just connecting and laughing. It's just like an authentic connection, right? no ask, no nothing, didn't say anything about anything. Then she at the end of the dinner said, you know what, I'm coming back here in October.

I would love if you would be the host for me and Eckhart, because we're coming together. And just me, like the way that somebody wants to meet like a LeBron James or a Lady Gaga or like whatever your favorite celebrity is for like kids or whatever, like this guy who's a spiritual author is like made such a profound difference in my life. Like my eyes sparked up. Again, it might have been the internal intention, but it wasn't a means to an. ends. It was just like, how do I give back? And ultimately, it ended up coming. It's like, I'm not going to be able to email this guy and convince him or this or that. How do I just add value? So in my own little tiny corner of the world, it was my third door away

of meeting somebody by just genuinely giving back to who they are. I love that so much. And again, I think it's so important that you had the intention. And it didn't muddy the gift. It didn't muddy the, you know, the generosity you were doing. And you were honest with the intention, too. I just think that story pretty much encapsulates the whole energy of the book. And, you know, why I even brought this up at the first place is that, you know, in addition, you know, people read the book. They get fired up. I bought a bunch of copies when you put it out.

And I've given it to so many individuals. And it's made such a difference in their life. So a major plug for the book. And it's just a good book. You'll laugh. You'll cry. You'll have all the emotions that are there. A lot of the health books that we feature on the podcast.

podcast, they're great and you'll get good information, but they're not going to make you cry, and they're not necessarily going to make you laugh, right? And they're not going to connect you to this deeper part of you that's sort of yearning to want to contribute and give back. But the 38-day challenge came out of it because people were saying, okay, now that I'm super fired up, what the fuck do I do next? So I'm just trying to connect the dots for everybody, you know, is that we're giving you the thing, and you could do it now.

And if you really want to take it to the next level, of course, pick up the book. and understand where the origin of that challenge came from. Yeah, that's exactly. Pretty much what happened was the third door, what it did. You know, I thought I was writing a business book, but it's taken me many years to realize that this is not a business book at all. This has always been a book about possibility. And what I've learned over the years is that you can give someone, you know,

all the best tools and knowledge in the world, and their life can still feel stuck. But if you change what someone believes is possible, they'll never be the same. And what I've seen with people when they read the third door changes their belief of what's possible for their own lives.

And then that's when they're asking the natural question of, okay, now what? And that's where the 30-day challenge really comes in. So powerful. When you start looking at the world through the third-door lens,

even in business, you see different opportunities. You see lateral moves that don't seem like they're going to take you closer to your goal. but they're actually the most direct path to get to where you want to go. It's not just a book.

It's a whole perspective. So, hats off to you, brother. What else, my friend? What else, you know,

I just want to acknowledge you, your book like blew up the charts in Japan. In addition. That did happen since we last side. Since the last time that we talked, even though all the progress that's here. That's been, that was such,

that was like almost a, I would say the most surreal thing that's happened. in the entire journey in the book. Just tell it a little bit. People are invested now. They're invested in the journey. Just what the hell happened? How do you become a runaway bestseller in another country and you don't even speak the language?

Okay. Do you want the, I can tell you like the crazy-ass story? Give it to us, man. This is a long format podcast. This is the crazy story. And this story makes me emotional every time because it just, it shakes me. So, as you know, about five years ago, my dad got diagnosed with pancreatic cancer.

And it was a really hard battle. And when he passed away, I had not only lost a parent, but it felt like I had lost a part of myself with it. And I remember about three, four months later, I was like grasping for something to make me feel like myself again. And this is right before the third door was coming out. So I knew I sort of had this window of time.

time. And I was asking myself, I will still be working on the final edits of the book, but I said, you know, I don't have to do it from L.A. where I live. I can, you know, go anywhere. And I remember being in bed one night. I was like 3 o'clock in the morning. I actually have Patter Mountain. And I remember asking myself, I could go anywhere in the world as a gift to myself. You know, where would I go? And the first thing that popped into my head was Tokyo. I've never been in Tokyo. I don't know anyone in Tokyo. I don't know. It's not like it's been a lifelong. dream it came into my head and I just sort of have this weird belief that when things happen like that it's for a reason outside of your understanding and I just I think you know I was like pretty

broke back then I used like airplane miles to like book the flight or whatever I found like the cheapest possible way which was you know so a blessing in and of itself to be able to do and I end up going to Tokyo and a friend heard about what I was doing. He's like, oh, can I come with? I was like, yeah, come. I don't know anyone there. I don't know what I'm doing. I literally don't even have a reason to be going. I just, something tells me I need to go there. And I was going to go to finish up the final edits of the book while there. And I go out there and it's just the energy there is phenomenal. And I'm like both the energy of the city, but also the energy of the temples and the calmness. And it was this beautiful. beautiful polarity between the bustle and the calm. And I felt that I was coming alive again. And on maybe the 10th day of the trip, the friend there, his name is Max, and we're on a bus on one of our final nights. And we're on a bus in Tokyo, and I'm looking at an old man with gray hair

reading a book in Japanese on the bus. And I whispered a Max, and I said, that's my dream. He was very confused What are you talking about? I said, the reason I spent seven years working on this book isn't for my buddy from high school to read it. It's for someone who I'll never meet,

who I may not even be able to speak their same language to be able to learn from these people I was lucky enough to learn from and to share the message with them. And of course, my friend Max knew about the third-door analogy. She's like, oh, why don't you just third-door? Why don't you self-publish in Japan? painted it. I was like, dude, it's not really how it works.

You sort of have to like publish the book in America and if it does well, then it goes overseas. Like there's a whole machine. And he's like, look, whatever, suit yourself. Go to sleep that night. I wake up the next morning. I have a text from my literary agent. And the text says call me immediately. She's never texted me in the entire seven-year journey of writing the book. So I'm thinking like, I'm about to get like fired from. my publisher because I was very behind deadline. And she said, text me immediately, and I call her and I say, is everything okay? And she goes, you won't believe this.

You just got the biggest Japanese book deal I've seen in my entire career. And immediately, the only thing I can think of is, oh, my friend Max got her email and thought this would be the funniest prank. And I said, okay, that's really funny. Okay, what's the actual news? That's the news. And I said, you're just saying that because I'm in Japan right now. She's like, you're in Japan right now?

She's like, what are you doing in Japan? And I tell her the story, and she's like, this is insane. And the publisher who acquired the book, it was like a weekend. I was flying out the next day. He rushed over. We met, we hugged. It was this crazy moment. I saw a photo of you guys on Instagram.

Yes, it was this crazy moment. And then, sure enough, the book is set to come out, you know, a year after it comes out in America. And you know, you were very helpful. as a friend guiding me through that is my first book launch. And I was like, it felt like trudging through the mud. Sure enough, I land in Tokyo for the book launch. The book tour starts the next day, but it had come out. It was like released on Amazon, Japan the night before.

And I land in Tokyo. And I get a text message saying, congratulations, on number one. You're in the book business. I'm in the book business. We both know there's like a thousand number ones in a thousand different categories. You know, there's on Amazon number one in spiritual backpacking. Number one in, you know, deep breathwork in Southeast Asia. Like there's lots of categories on Amazon.

And I'm like, okay, cool. I made a category. That's amazing. And then I check it, but it's in Japanese, Japanese Amazon. So I had to like Google translate what was going on. And by a work of God, the book debuted as the number one book in all of Japan. And the only reason I was able to even contextualize it was that Michelle Obama's book was number three. So I was, you have to understand like this was a, at that point, seven-year dream in the making.

And to have it come out like that in a country that almost felt very tied to my journey with my dad was probably one of the most fulfilling and surprising things of all time. And the best surprise, my mom jumped on a flight and came and surprised me for the Japanese book launch. And it was the first time in her life, my mom's an immigrant from Iran. It was the first time she'd ever been on a plane out of the country by herself. Wow. And we just had the most magical week. you know, first of all, beautiful story.

I knew bits and pieces, but we had not really had a chance to catch up on the full thing. It's a reminder. You know, I want people to hear with two sort of ears. One, it's an entertaining story, right? So there's that ear. The other ear is that in all of our lives, there is a sense of whatever you believe in,

call it synchronicity, called the universe, call it God, however you want to describe it. There is a universal field that has a wavelength. And when we step into the direction that we are meant to go, and meant to is based on our gut instinct, we now enter into a field of something. Who knows exactly what it is? But that's something is, you know,

Albert Einstein asked a very important question. He said the most, he actually, The question he asked was the most important question that people can ask himself is, is the universe a force for good or a force for evil? And because you step into that force of good that's there, there is an energy behind you and your work that so many people, even in your book that you document that creates this combination of your hard work and luck that's combined together that makes magic. happened that you could never have done if we didn't take that step into that journey. That's it. That's it. The miracle comes after the first step. The miracle, I was telling this to a friend yesterday. Miracles rarely happen when you're sitting on your couch. The miracle happens when you have the courage to take that first step. And that Japan's story

is definitely, definitely a miracle. And At the same time, it makes me wonder. You know, if the journey of the third door never happened, if the Japan trip, you know, in some ways, logically, the me going to Tokyo had nothing to do with the deal. But in some ways, it feels very, you know, aligned. But the miracles happen after you take that first step. And that's what today's podcast was for anyone who's asking themselves, what's next? Give us the questions. If you're asking yourself, who should do the challenge?

right now. If you're feeling stuck, if you're wondering what your path is, if you're wondering why you feel so empty inside, even though in theory you always thought this is what would make you come alive, if you're wondering what the next chapter in your career and your relationship look like, if you're feeling lost and you're wanting a sense of direction, you're wanting to hone your compass to point you in the right direction, that's who should do the 30-day challenge. beautiful and we'll put a link in the show notes to get a little PDF something that can guide people along the way the book is in the show notes as well absolutely please get that so many people have enjoyed it it was a huge hit it was one of our top episodes that month that you came on where we talked about everything with the book and and we'll have a link to that first interview as well for anybody who wants to go back thank you so much it's always so fun this has been a blast appreciate you brother you stepped into your

purpose that you felt and you're making it okay for everybody who listens to you that it's okay to step into that so i want to acknowledge you and just thank you for that