Dhru Purohit Show - The Mental Fitness Blueprint. How to Rewire Your Mind, Boost Confidence & Become Limitless with Maya Raichoora

Episode Date: September 24, 2025

This episode is brought to you by Vuori, Bon Charge, Cozy Earth, and Ollie. When it comes to fitness, we don’t often think about training our brains. But today’s guest shows us that mental fitness is just as necessary. By rewiring our brains through repeated lessons, we can unlock our full potential and push past limitations.  Today on The Dhru Purohit Show, Dhru sits down with Maya Raichoora to explore the power of the mind, our untapped capabilities, and how to rewire the brain to change the way we think, perform, and believe in what’s possible. Maya explains why what we repeat is often more influential than what is actually real. She also shares how to reframe doubt, practical techniques for visualizing the life we want, and why suppressing emotions can be harmful. Finally, she highlights how we can train our brains to focus on mental fitness and create lasting change. Maya Raichoora is a leading expert in mental fitness and visualization. She is the founder and CEO of Remap Mental Fitness and an award-winning entrepreneur. Maya has over a decade of experience and has made history as Nike’s first-ever mental fitness trainer. She has mastered the practice of visualization and is on a mission to make it accessible to all. A two-time TEDx speaker, her story and insight continue to inspire and educate audiences around the world. In this episode, Dhru and Maya dive into:  Our brain doesn’t care what’s real, only what’s repeated (1:00) What holds people back from rewiring their brains (3:39) Why we should doubt our limitations instead of our potential (8:25) First steps to training the mind and building awareness (18:00) Maya’s personal story that led her to pursue her passion and profession (21:55) Five key techniques of visualization (33:09) Why suppressing emotions damages the mind, body, and life (43:53) How to build mental fitness (48:20) Habits and behaviors that shape our thinking and well-being (51:52) Building confidence and self-confidence (57:15) How to break free from the habit of complaining (58:48) Routines that helped Maya step into the power of the mind (1:08:13) How Maya recovered from her illness (1:10:28) The core message of Visualise (1:17:12) Red flags to watch for in dating (1:20:58) Final thoughts and takeaways (1:24:43) Also mentioned in this episode: Visualise Book  For more on Maya, follow her on Instagram, Threads, LinkedIn, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or visit her Website. This episode is brought to you by Vuori, Bon Charge, Cozy Earth and Ollie. Right now, Vuori is offering my listeners 20% off their FIRST purchase. Get yourself some of the most comfortable and versatile clothing on the planet at vuori.com/DHRU and discover the versatility of Vuori Clothing.  Right now, Bon Charge is offering my community 15% off. Just go to boncharge.com/DHRU and use code DHRU to save 15%. Right now, get 40% off your Cozy Earth sheets and sleepwear. Just head over to cozyearth.com/dhru and use code DHRUP. Want to give your dog the best in clean eating? Take the online quiz and introduce Ollie to your pet. Right now, Ollie is offering 60% off your first box of meals when you subscribe today! Just head to Ollie.com, use the code DHRU, and you’ll get 60% off your first box of meals in your subscription. Sign up for Dhru’s Try This Newsletter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Maya, welcome to the podcast. A pleasure to have you here. You are here today because you believe some pretty shocking and profound things about the mind and most importantly what it's capable of doing. And some of these beliefs, when applied to our lives, have the power to rewire the brain and the body, heal the past and create a future in the way that most people think is impossible. Walk us through some of these core beliefs to set the stage for the conversation. Yeah, hello, and I'm very excited to be here. The mind. I think the mind is, can be very overwhelming for a lot of us.

And when I started learning about it, same with me. So if I look at this word rewire, what does that mean? That means that I'm saying we can actually change not only the structure of the brain, but also how the mind works, which means the way you think. It means the way you respond, the beliefs you have, the way you perform. And a really useful, I'd say, analogy to use here is like your brain is a city. So you've got all these different roads and you're driving on them and every day you drive on the same thoughts or same beliefs. And so what I'm saying is you can break down these old roads and build new ones, better ones.

And that affects your identity. It affects your personality. It affects how you perform, whether it's sport in your family life, your personal life, public speaking, whatever it might. might be. And for so long, you know, we've thought that who we are is just who we are. We're stuck at that person. But I think there are two key areas that really, if people know, could change their lives. Number one, the brain really struggles to know the difference between what's real and what's imagined. So just think about that again. If you are physically doing something, your brain is obviously operating.

There are certain neurons that are firing. But if you just imagine doing that same thing, nearly identical neurons are firing in the brain. And what's really interesting is most people are actually playing this out every day because they are, let's say, visualising worst-case scenarios or they imagine things going wrong. So you're already doing it,

but you are wiring your brain to be more anxious, fearful, scared, fear of failure, anything like that. And the second part of this is that when I learned that the brain really doesn't care what is true, it only cares what you repeat. That changed everything. Because so many of us, we have these beliefs like, I'm not good enough or, oh, but I can never do that. Or I'm not a very confident person.

Or, oh, no, no, I don't have any discipline to, you know, meditate for too much. minutes a day. All of these are these stories that we repeat again and again and again. So your brain doesn't really matter if it's true or not. It just matters. What is the story you are telling yourself enough times and frequently enough? That's what it's going to believe. And when you realize that, it makes you think, well, we have so much more control and ownership over what our mind is doing. But so many of us don't know that, so our mind controls us. I think people, who are listening today are super excited about that and they're asking themselves, I believe that. I want to believe that. I'm with you, Maya. But I don't know, something's holding me back.

What have you seen are the top things that hold people back from stepping into that power of tapping into rewiring the brain? Honestly, I think it's, I think it's two things. One, let's go back to when we were all at school. And, you know, we've grown up in societies where, something like physical education or going to sports class was very normal, right? You had it on your timetable, your curriculum, whether you went, that's a different matter. But it was in school showing you that it's important to train the body. When it came to any sort of training the mind, it just wasn't there. Unless you were really, really unwell or unhappy, that's really when the conversation came up.

And it's only in what the last 10 years, do people even start talking about mental health? health, for example. So I think education is a big problem. So people don't realize that actually your mind is half your health. And if you are not investing in it just like you do your physical fitness, then you are not going to be the strongest version of yourself, simple as. Because from the moment you wake up, you have thoughts, you have emotions. Your mind is constant. So being able to have ownership of that is key, but we don't have the education. So that's number one. Number two, I think just a lot of people get overwhelmed with where to even begin. It's like, oh no, but, you know, I just have so many negative thoughts.

I just want to control my mind. But it feels too hard for them so they don't even begin. And I get that. Like I really do understand that. And I'm not here to say that when you do this type of work, you know, tomorrow the world is just a different place. No, it requires frequent, consistent action. and dedication. And when you tell that to someone,

they're like, oh, no, no, no. I can't add another thing to my morning routine or, you know, to my ice bar, to my two-hour journaling. They don't want to do that because it feels like a chore. And again, I totally understand. And then I think the third thing is just that,

and this is partly neuroscience, but partly, you know, it's just awareness. There was always this belief for a long time that the brain you have until the age of about 18, is just the brain you're going to have, right? It is stuck. It is permanent. And in the last 20 to 30 years,

as neuroscience has really made things like neuroplasticity more popular and has shown us that no, actually, whatever pathways have been created in your brain now, you can actually create different ones. And that's awesome, but no one has the tools for it. So I totally get why people might be skeptical, or it's like, oh, but I don't even need to do this. this, that's also a big one because if you are not in enough pain or suffering, why should you

bother about training the mind? Like, what's the point? And I think this is where the narrative of mental fitness and seeing it as quite a cool and sexy thing is important. Because all of us claim, yeah, I go to this class or I went to this spinning class. We love saying that. But when we say that, oh yeah, I meditated or, you know, yeah, I spent half an hour training my mind. I never hear that, Ever. You have a great quote that I think is super important for our audience to hear. And it's about training the mind and puppies. Can you share that quote?

Your mind is like a puppy. And if you don't train it, it's going to sh-h-h-h-hre everywhere. And it will shit on your career, your relationships, your self-worth, your self-confidence, your performance. And it's true because the mind is not something that you control. The mind is something that you build a very strong relationship with. And if I look at champions or elite athletes, they have learned to find a way where they can master their mind by knowing the language of it and understanding, okay, I'm doubting myself or my self-talk is not as good. It's not to then suddenly be like, okay, I need to control this. No, it's to say, what is this relationship?

How can I keep making this relationship stronger and stronger? And that's why I like this puppy quote, because when you're training a puppy, yeah, sometimes. it's going to bark. Sometimes it's going to do the wrong thing. And it's not about then just shutting it up. It's about learning what does it need or why is it barking. And that difference is really powerful because you can keep expanding what your brain can do and what's possible. So yeah, you don't want the puppy you want to start training it. We're going to get into your story. You have a powerful story. Before we do that, let's give the audience one immediate takeaway, Like early in the conversation on that topic, let's take doubt, for example.

You mentioned how so many people, so many people listening today to this podcast are doubting their ability to make progress in some area they care about. Maybe that's writing that book that they want to write one day. Maybe that's starting that business or being involved in that nonprofit. Maybe it's just about stepping to the power for something that they're already involved in. So for the person who's listening today, that's struggling with doubt. let's give them a practical thing that they could start thinking about at this stage of the conversation. Fall is coming up and as the weather starts to cool down, I want clothes that are comfortable,

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It's time to upgrade your self-care routine with the same innovation you bring to the rest of your life. So this might be a little bit controversial. I think doubt is a great thing. I think it's really good. It's really useful because when you doubt yourself, your brain is doing its job. And it might be it's telling you you're not ready for this or you're not good enough yet or what if you fail.

That is your brain just panicking because its job is to keep you safe. So the first thing I'd say is if you are experiencing doubt, don't panic. It's such a human thing. And I get so many people saying to me, Maya, like how do I just have no doubts? I have no fears. And I actually just want to say a really small story that for me also changed everything. And so this was about now a year ago.

I was in a like a boxing gym. And there was a coach there who was training these two brothers. And these brothers were twins. So they are, you know, nutritionally, they were doing everything the same. Body weight exactly the same. Height, everything, the same. But one of them was better. And I was like, oh, interesting.

I wonder which one. So I asked the coach. And the coach was like, so one of them is very confident. Like really, really just, if you ask him, he's like, yeah, I know I'm good. And the other one doubts himself a lot. And I was like, okay, so obviously, though, that one's better. And the coach was like, the brother that doubts himself is the better boxer. And it was a moment that I was like, hey, that's really interesting.

because we get told that you always have to appear really confident and really sure of yourself all the time. But he explained that actually because he doubted himself, he had more frequent moments to remind himself, why is he here? Or to ask himself to build that trust again. And I love this idea. I think doubt is simply an opportunity for you to ask that question, should I be here? Or am I going to choose to trust myself? Or am I going to choose to try? Am I going to choose to be brave or am I going to give into the doubt? So if there's one thing I would say is don't be afraid of the doubt, but also start learning to doubt your limitations rather than your potential. That's what I'd say to that. That's a pretty profound idea. Expand on that. So instead of doubting

most people who are struggling with doubt, they doubt their potential, right? But you're telling them to reframe it and don't doubt your potential, right? Doubt your limitations. So I think it's that thing of all of us have so much potential in us. And sometimes, whether it's the world telling us we can't do it or social media or past experiences as well, we're very quick to them be like, okay, well, I won't do that so that I don't have to fail or, you know, people don't judge me, etc. I think when you learn to start questioning your limitations rather than your potential, you'll realize that actually both scenarios could be true. You could either live your life thinking very much that, okay, I'll never do this or what if I fail,

which is cool, it could be a possibility. Or there is also another possibility that is just as likely to happen, which is you doing better than you thought, or you actually succeeding, or you feeling really confident in a situation. And when you realize that all the limitations we have, all the stories, think of, limitations as simply a story that you are telling yourself. It's a story. It's a decision. It's a repeated thought that has been repeated enough times that now your brain is familiar with it. It likes it. It likes to repeat it. So when you realize that actually it is a story you can rewrite, you can question, that's great. And a good example here is like imposter syndrome. So I get a lot of, especially

females, they tend to be whether they're like leaders or even mothers. anything. And they'll always say, oh, but Maya, like, oh, I just don't know if I deserve to be here, or I walked into that room and I was like, no, no, no, I, you know, I shouldn't speak up or they're going to judge me. And this is a good example where your brain will question you because those limitations, they come up. Now, in that moment, let it question you, but you give it a better answer. So if it says to you, you shouldn't be here or you're not good enough to be here, right, but you don't have to believe that. You don't have to believe that. You don't have to believe the limitation. You can then say, thanks for that, but you know what? I'm going to try my best.

And just watch how the brain goes quiet. But often when we hear that, we're like, yeah, you're so right. I shouldn't be here. And then we believe it. And so it's just that space in between the thought and then how you experience the thought. I think that is super powerful. It's not only powerful. It's like the foundation of awareness, which is what you write about in your book. And it goes to this larger point, which is so many people out there, even if they know or have gotten a glimpse, it's so easy to forget and think that what I'm thinking is what I'm thinking. Yeah. Your thoughts are just thoughts.

Yeah. And they're random. They're like popcorn. And we don't have to believe these thoughts. One of my favorite questions is from Byron Katie, the spiritual author and teacher. And she fundamentally asked that you have a thought in your life that brings you stress. is that true? Yeah.

Is that actually true? And that first starts off with the awareness of, do I want that to be true? Am I choosing for that to be true? Am I accepting that thought as a given that this is how I feel? And a really simple way that I've used this in my own life and you have many powerful tools in your book,

it's just adding in the word maybe. Just even saying maybe. Because at least maybe in the beginning for somebody who's a beginner gives them a tiny bit of space to say, okay, maybe I don't have all the tools yet to, you know, change this. Maybe after this conversation you will and after you pick up a copy of Maya's book, you will. But it's just a little placeholder to say, okay, this doesn't have to be true.

Talk about that awareness. For somebody who's like, okay, I get it. That sounds good. What's the first step on that journey to training our mind, training that puppy? so that it doesn't poop everywhere, in our thoughts that causes a lot of stress, what's the first step to actually build that awareness? Yeah, I love this topic because, you know,

we have between like 40,000 and 60,000 thoughts a day. That is a lot. And a lot of them are going to be repeated from the day before than the day before that. So so many of them, you aren't even conscious that you're having. And the good thing to know is a lot of them are harmless. You know, like, what do I want for breakfast? or cool, I need to drive to this place.

The ones that really matter are the repeated ones, the ones that you're constantly repeating that have associations with your identities or your beliefs or some of your patterns and performances. So when it comes to awareness, I think we've also got to be mindful of the fact that we live in quite a fast-paced world. And so naturally, everything is just so much faster.

Our thoughts are faster. We move on to the next thing quite quickly. you know, even social media, it's interesting. Like you can have a thought about a particular video or photo, but you're already on to the next one. So that thought is just like, it's just so quick. So partly it's giving yourself a moment to also slow down and just create those half a seconds or one seconds

between your thoughts or the way you, again, think about the thoughts. But a really useful, I'd say, philosophy or concept. And this is very common and you see it a lot in Buddhism and, you know, a lot of religions, but also personal development, is remembering that you are not your thoughts, you are simply observing them. If you can create a little bit of distance and you understand that in some ways it's like notifications popping up and a lot of us attached to it and then we're like, oh no, like this now consumes us.

And I remember when I had done this silent retreat, this, my teacher there, he told me that why don't you imagine that your thoughts are like water, like a body of water? And just ask yourself, and this is great for awareness. So you ask yourself, if my mind, full of all these thoughts was a body of water, describe it. And so sometimes it's going to be like a massive tsunami. And there's so many thoughts, you're overwhelmed, it's consuming, very negative, everything. Sometimes it's going to be like a puddle. And it's just like, you know, super random, but also a bit overwhelming.

And his point is that if you can see it as water, so again, you're observing it, and then you with your mind take that body of water and you make it into this really calm lake, very cooling, and you just let it stay in your mind like that, you'll start to realize that you can really have more ownership over your thoughts because you're seeing it as an observer. Now, if I said to you, why don't you just, you know, calm down, like stop overthinking. It just doesn't work. Your thoughts are stronger than that.

But actually, again, just creating a bit of distance is where you can find the awareness. And of course, you can do things like, you know, writing or even speaking them out. But I'd say if you can do that internal practice of realizing, okay, how can I see a little bit of distance, whether it's seeing it as clouds in the sky, whether it's seeing as water, whether it's seeing as popcorn, whether it's seeing it as just like a news feed. But you do it with your eyes closed. So you practice the skill of awareness before applying it to your thoughts. Practice the skill of it. And then you can apply it. Let's talk about your story a little bit because the book sets the groundwork by talking

about this journey of health and sickness that you went through, which ultimately led you to many of the things that you're going to be talking about and have already started talking about on the podcast today. So give us a little bit of background of yourself. and then let's talk about the journey that you've been on and went on when it came to your health. This episode is brought to you by Cozy Earth, the upgrade your sleep routine has been waiting for. Fall can get a little crazy. You know, the truth is that schedules, they get a little fuller.

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Also very high achieving. Being South Asian, it's like you've got to go to the A-Stars or you're kind of out of the family, if I'm honest, but that's fine. I loved the pressure. I thrived under it. And I also played badminton for my country and county, etc. So this was really a massive, massive, not just hobby, but it could have been a great career for me as well. And that excited me. So I, within all of this, I lived quite a busy lifestyle. And I was generally healthy, though. I would say, like, nutrition wise, all of that. I was a pretty healthy person. very active as well. Then at 15, I was experiencing some pain in my stomach, which I think, you know,

is normal. You go to the doctor. Maybe it's a bug, anything like that. And they initially just gave me some suppositories for some inflammation in the rectum. I was like, okay. But unfortunately, it just was getting a bit more painful. I was getting more constipated. I was running to the loo a lot more. And so then I was like, okay, something's really wrong now. And after getting a colonoscopy, they told me that, okay, you have something called ulcerative colitis. I've never heard of it before. I couldn't even say it when they first told me. But the thing I always remember is my doctor saying, it is incurable. And that was a weird moment because I've never been in a situation like that. But as a young girl, I kind of just

took it on my chin. I was like, cool, I'm quite positive. I can deal with it. And they told me, you know, a lot of people just manage their life and symptoms with medication. So I was very hopeful. Unfortunately, I don't think anyone could have predicted or told me what the next four and a half, five years of my life would look like. Because day by day, my symptoms went from like bad to excruciating, to crippling, to animalistic to, I cannot do this. And by symptoms, I mean, I was.

running to the loo maybe 40 times a day and it's pure blood, you are screaming, you are screaming for your life because it just doesn't stop. It doesn't stop. And then when you're not in pain, you fear the pain.

So it's the cycle of constant suffering. And that pain is nothing like I've ever felt before, nothing. And so I found it hard to even describe to other people, like what I could have done. And there were moments where I would literally be on the loo and I had no energy to even walk back to my bed because you just lose everything in that moment, everything. And so physically it was just indescribable. But mentally,

as this is going on and on, you slowly start to lose your confidence, your ability to eat, to walk, to socialize. And I think the scariest moment is, when I really realized I had lost the light and the joy or the fire I had for life. And I think when you're that age and you lose the spark of what it means to be human, it's so scary. It is so scary. And you're helpless. You're powerless.

It's like, what are you meant to do? So I obviously followed every protocol, every medication. And this disease is so aggressive for some people. And so my last option was really to have surgery. And that's when you remove the colon. and you have a stoma bag. And a lot of people live their life great after they do it. But I was like 17.

I didn't know, I don't know what to do because it's like life hadn't even started yet and I was faced with this decision that was life-changing. And something in me was just like, Maya, don't do it yet. Don't do it yet. I never know why I thought that. But in hindsight, maybe it's intuition, it's listening to the body. And it was actually in hospital where this nurse,

she basically was just like to me, well, if you weren't in hospital, where would you be? And at first I was really, I just found the question really rude. And so I just, you know, I was a very bitter human being. So any type of joy or anyone who was even healthy, I would just hate. I would hate them. And there's that amazing saying, right, where it's like health is a crown worn on healthy people that only sick people can see. And I remember like my sister coming in from uni

and she'd be eating this salad and I like, I just couldn't even see her because all I can think about is what do I not have? How is my life going to be ruined? And there's just no hope here. And so when she asked me this question, I should have been at uni. I got into uni but I wasn't allowed to go because of my health.

It just would have been impossible. I was, you know, very underweight and still in a lot of pain. But it made me think. It made me think about a different possibility. And so I remember closing my eyes. And the first thing I wanted to do after being in that hospital for so long was walk. It was just walk again. Something we all take for granted.

And I remember closing my eyes and like seeing myself moving just in the hallway. Like I still had my drip on, but I was like walking and I saw myself in the gown. I actually felt it in my legs a bit. And then the brain like pushed me a little bit to even just like go outside and like smell the air. And I just opened my eyes after about two minutes. And there was this tiny, like tiny thought that was like, what if you could actually do this? What if you could walk again? What if you could go to uni?

What if you could actually go home and eat your mom's cooking again? Like, what if? And I hadn't had that question in so long. Every spare moment I then had in hospital, I just kept imagining where I wanted to be. or seeing myself a bit more healthy, even though I was still laying there. And then I gained enough strength to, you know, leave hospital. And that's when I basically just decided to think,

well, something in my mind helped me, something. I don't know what it was, but I need to figure it out. And so I went on this journey of trying every meditation. I went to loads of teachers, neuroscientists. I went on retreats. And, you know, I remember doing like Tony Robbins things from like my bed, because I still couldn't move, but I was trying to listen and everything. I tried everything.

And it always came back down to you have the power to rewire the brain and really, really help your body. And when I started practicing visualization, particularly every day, all the different techniques. And I gained it from loads of different sources, books, practice, all of it. I was mentally getting stronger, just mentally first. I was believing, hey, my, you could get better. I was believing you could play badminton again.

You could go to uni. And this was like impossible to me. But people don't realize that when you have this belief or you start to think in that way, a lot of other things can get stronger as well. And so I guess fast forward now about eight years, I have practiced visualization every single day of my life. Now, of course, I changed things like my diet.

I worked on my emotions, lots of different things. But fundamentally, I can definitely say that me training my brain is what has led me to be able to sit on this chair today to teach others, to be a mental fitness expert, to work with incredible people and companies. and I really do think that the mind is more powerful than any of us think. I want to pick up on visualization. Yeah. So many people when they hear the word visualization, they just think of it as one thing. Yeah. And yet in the book, you talk about there being many different types of visualization.

Is it five key types of visualization? Yeah. I think it's worth walking people through this. But give us an overview about the topic of visualization. first. Visualization, most people will either associate it with manifestation or they'll associate it with sports. And if you've likely done like exercise or you've been an athlete, you will have used visualization. So what is it? It's the process of creating images, environments and feelings in your mind before they've happened. So it's also known as mental imagery. Now, the reason

it gets, I think, a bad rep is because people think that what I'm trying to tell you to do is just visualize yourself. Or for example, take my story. Okay, she visualized herself being healthy and now she's healthy. Absolutely not. There is, that is not how it works. It has to be treated as a neurological training tool because the brain doesn't know the difference between what's real and imagined. So when you visualize something and you mentally rehearse it, you are activating the same neurons as if you are physically doing it. So when I was, let's say, mentally rehearsing me walking in the hospital hallway, I was telling my brain and my body, this is what you're doing. This is what you're doing. And the more I did it, my body is learning

to actually start walking or to feel strong enough to walk. And so if we break it down to the five techniques, so with visualization, there are five key ones that you want to know. One is outcome, and this is seeing a result in advance. So yes, it might be seeing yourself achieve something. It might be seeing a goal. And what this does is it builds belief and motivation for the mind and body. Then we have process visualization. This is where you are taking a task and activity and you're making it better, smarter, faster. So a lot of elite athletes will mentally rehearse their swing or their strokes or their serve again and again because then when you're on court or on pitch, it's muscle memory. You have done that five, 10, 15 times. Even before coming on this podcast, I was

mentally rehearsing, right, Maya, how do you want to walk in? How are you going to talk? Because it means that when I'm here, things like nerves or doubts or fears, they don't come in the way. I can just be present. Then we have creative visualization, one of my favorites. You're using mental imagery to manage emotions, release and regulate any sensations, but also injury and disease. And then we have negative visualization. This is where you see worst case scenarios, but you overcoming them. And it's so brilliant for performance. or motivation, but there's also another part of it which comes from stoicism where you literally visualise losing everything or being on your deathbed and it gives you a perspective like no other.

And then lastly, we've got explorative. And this is the most unknown version, but it's what the likes of Walt Disney, Einstein, Nikola Tesla, it's what they wrote about in their diaries and how they use their imagination to problem solve, to create, to basically tap into a part of the brain that very few of us are doing. So those are your five techniques and they're all used for different things and that's the joy of it. It's not just for goals and performance. It's also for managing anger. It might be for public speaking.

It might be for problem solving. So it's a very versatile application of one tool. My favorite one personally, I've used a lot of different ones and we're going to walk through each one of them and how you might step into them. But my favorite one that brings me so much peace of mind and reminds me that, my smallness in life, but also how much potential that I have right now, like if nothing matters, like why not just give it your best shot is negative visualization. An idea of either meditating on my death, meditating on the fact that something wouldn't work, meditating on the regret that I would have if I didn't pursue something, I find that all

very peaceful because if I'm imagining myself being in this place for something that I'm trying to to achieve or make progress in life on and it not working out and really fully feeling that, like, what would that look like? Then even that thing, that action that I'm scared to take, like letting somebody go in a company that's not a right fit, even though it's not the right fit for them and it's not the right fit for me, but I'm kind of scared of taking that, you know, action or, you know, making that phone call that you need to make for like the next stage of something, when you compare it to regret at an old age if you didn't move forward on something,

it's like the tiniest thing in the world. And that's why I love negative visualization. I know you use a lot of these in different ways for yourself. Do you have a favorite that you found that works best for you? Well, firstly, you are a unique one because most people hate negative visualization. It's like it's also not good for a lot of people if they are very negatively wired already. because fear can do some, you know, fear can paralyze you as well. So I love that you said that because I think it's brilliant, but I would say that if you are already seeing worst case scenarios and it

doesn't make you feel good, then I would avoid that one for a bit. But it shows your mind is, yeah, very, very wise. So my favorite, I mean, I love creative visualization. I love it. I think it's so fun, playful, whether you are five years old or 50 years old, you can use it. In fact, we can do one now. So I first started using creative visualization because I learned about it from medicine. And it really looks at the placebo effect because when I was in pain, I would always describe to people that it was like razor blades, like scratching my insides or like fish or like piranhas eating me. That's how I could only think about it. And then there's this doctor called Dr. David Hamilton,

and he spoke about how you can use your imagination to actually help some of those symptoms or your cells or your pain. So what I used to do is close my eyes and imagine my pain as piranhas eating my colon. I used to see it very vividly, the colors of them, how many of them there were. And then do you know what I did? In my visualization,

I shot all the fish. With a gun? Yeah, I literally did. I was like, go away. Like, I had to be really creative and use my imagination. And when I did shoot a fish, it then died. And I kept doing this.

Now, I'm not saying my pain just disappeared. I tell you what it did do. It reminded me that Maya, you have more control than you think over it. And even that was everything I needed to know. And when I kept doing this, eventually, yeah, my pain was getting better because I was now teaching my brain and body that I know how to handle this.

But now not everyone's going to be in pain. So a really good example. And this would take like maybe just we can do it for like 90 seconds. So let's say, um, let's say people can feel anxious, right? That's a very normal feeling. So what you would do is you'd close your eyes and you would first just start asking yourself, where do you feel that anxiety? So is it in the chest? Is it in the gut, maybe it's full body, just notice where in the body that emotion comes up. Now, instead of running away from it or suppressing it, you give it an image or a color or a shape. It can even be a character, an animal, you can be as creative as you want. So like a yellow, spiky ball, it can be a hot red fire, maybe it's a lion, and just see that,

visualize what this emotion looks like in the body. Even notice the temperature, is it cold, is it hot, is it tight? really immersed in it. And as you see it there, just sit with it for a second, if it needs to get bigger, smaller, whatever needs to happen. And now with your mind, you slowly take that image and you start to dissolve it. And that could mean pouring water over it.

It could mean just seeing it getting smaller. It could mean kicking it, whatever you need to do. But slowly start letting this object get smaller and smaller. And it's so small now. And then you take a deep breath and as you exhale, let it fully dissolve. And so the reason this is so great

is because emotions or sensations, the language of the body. And there's so much research about how when we feel an emotion, it's like this chemical surge, but they only really need 90 seconds to regulate unless we keep them alive. And so when thoughts come in, when past experiences,

when judgments come in, that's when one little trigger in the morning can then become your mood for the day. And so many of us can relate to that. And so even if you can just take those 90 seconds to be like, okay, I'm feeling a bit of fear or anger or, you know, I just had a fight with my partner and I'm feeling a bit sad.

Okay, take those 90 seconds, feel it. Feel it, sit in the mud with it, be with it, and let it release. and you will just notice that that emotion won't consume you. So that's just a really quick way to use visualization for emotions. And if you've got kids or even adults, watch inside out. It's a great example of how, you know, they took emotions and made them characters. It's super creative.

So you can use that type of imagery to even bring into your body. The thing that you said earlier that really I want to like highlight right now is that you reminded people like whether you think you're visualizing right now or not, you absolutely are. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And a lot of people are visualizing negative situations, the worst outcome. And how that's tied to what you just talked about is that when it comes to feelings, so many times people are afraid to fully feel what they feel because they think if they feel it,

they're going to give energy to it. And yet the opposite is true. with what you're talking about. Talk to us about why it's so damaging to say, I don't want to give that attention. I don't want to feel it. I'm not going to think about it. Why is that so damaging for our dreams and goals and the mind?

I used to be an expert at suppressing my emotions. I was so good at it. And it was big ones, like resentment, like hate, like rage. And I was a young girl. So like, but I was feeling a lot of it because I was in very competitive environments. And so naturally, I just felt angry. but I didn't know how to express it.

And I think culturally, partly that I was, you know, told that crying or feeling or things like that can be a bit weak. And again, if you look at school, you look at the corporate world, we are told that you have to appear like super mature, that you've got your life together. You can't really show these things. And so we've also been trained to push it down. And humans tend to do about three things with their emotions. So we suppress them.

That's when you're like pushing it and pushing it and pushing it. And eventually it will blow up into like a breakdown or you become quite numb or you lash out your partner. Then we express them. So that might be through talking, therapy, maybe crying, anything like that. And then we have repression. That's where you don't even want to go near it. You will run so far.

And you're essentially escaping what you're feeling. Now, the thing people forget is there's a fourth option, which is letting go. because emotions, it's just data. They don't have to direct our lives or our moods because really an emotion is an important part of being human. And there are two types. There's your primary emotion, which is the one that you just feel.

It's the kind of animalistic reaction. Something happens. You feel a bit of fear. Maybe something that you didn't know you were going to feel jealous about happens, right? That's that initial thing. We can't always control that. the second emotion, your secondary emotion is what you can control.

And that's how you feel about the feeling. And a lot of people are going to say, oh my God, I shouldn't be feeling this, or I'm such a bad person for feeling jealous, or I hate that I'm feeling angry, or I don't want to feel sad. That's going to put my vibe down. Now, that bit is so important

because the more you push it down or escape it or judge it, your body stores it. It just stores it. Sometimes for years. And there's a great book, right? body keeps score, which teaches us that your cells hold on to these emotional experiences. So you might have just had a fight with your daughter or partner or something's happened and you think you're over it, but your body remembers.

And it's always keeping school. And so we've got to find skillful ways to connect the mind and body to then release it. And that's what this visualization does really well. Now, one thing I'll say from the dangers of it, I'd say two things. For me, I know the suppression of my emotions led to disease. I know that. And everything I now have learned about chronic illness, emotions play such a big role. Because that resentment, that anger, that hate, what did it become? Inflammation. And when I started to realize and release a lot of these emotions, what got better? My inflammation.

So there's, to me, that's no coincidence. It is a direct correlation. I think the other part of this is it doesn't have to be super extreme. But I think that's we also suppress what it means to be human. Because the body, if you are suppressing sadness, you are very likely suppressing joy or happiness or love. It can't distinguish. So feeling and emotion is, I think, one of the greatest privileges we have as humans.

It's not to be scared of them because it's like if you fight them, they're going to come at you even harder. But when you realize, wait a second, I'm in control, let me just feel it so I can heal it. You become emotionally fearless. And it's, it's, I honestly experience life in a completely different way now. But that's through training, not through just suddenly. It's through teaching my mind and body that, hey, okay, I'm feeling a bit sad. If somebody who's new to this or even has heard about this over the years,

it feels like, okay, I know about these things. I'm nodding my head in this conversation. but I don't really have any sort of serious training regimen, routine, or things that I do to regularly train the mind. What's a good place to start? So to build a bit of mental fitness into your life, start tiny, so small, so small that you literally cannot not do it. And I'd actually suggest even, you know, stacking it onto,

let's say if you go walking or you go for a gym class, like stack it onto something like physical fitness as well. So I'd say there are a few areas you can start. Number one, which is the most important thing, is asking yourself, why do you care about your mind? Simply ask that because so many of us, you know, we're so good at training chat, GBT and AI, but do we even train our minds?

No, do we even care about them? No. So I want you to ask yourself, do I actually care about it? am I excited to invest in it? Set the tone of what mental fitness is going to mean to you. That's really important. Second, one of the simplest starting points would be self-talk. And there's a really good thing people can do.

So I learned this from Michael Phelps' coach, so Bob Bowman, and he said that when Michael was getting ready for a tournament or, you know, the Olympics, we would do something called the doorway method. And the doorway method is every time you walk under a door, say something useful to yourself. Whether it's show me how good it gets, whether it's, okay, this is going to be tough, but I'm tougher.

Whether it's I'm really grateful for who I am, my confidence, anything. Now just think about how many doors you go under every day. So many. And it's effective because remember what I said at the beginning, repetition is absolutely the key part with rewiring the brain.

So in this case, if you can just get into that, habit of every time you go under a door, every time you take a sip of water, you say something, you are going to start building roads in your brain that start thinking like that or start being a bit more optimistic. So that's a very easy way and a very quick way, literally in this moment, to do it. The other thing is mornings. I'd say mornings are really important because your brain is most suggestive in the morning. You're in that like hazy state where your subconscious is very open. And so the first thing you input into your brain in the morning will likely dictate how you feel

and how you perform and how you act for the rest of the day. But what do we do in the morning? Emails. Watch the news. We panic. We're like, oh my gosh, I've got all this stuff to do. And so the thing that we're inputting is more stress, more anxiety, more fear. And so just think what is one intentional input I can put into my brain in the morning. One thing. It can be a statement it can be reading a page of a book, it can be closing your eyes and visualising your day. That will even, you will start to see such incremental changes yet super impactful. And so I am not here to say visualization is your only mental fitness tool. I think I'd be a really bad coach and expert if I was saying this is the only way forward.

First, get used to investing in your mind and then start experimenting with different tools. and if you already do a bit of meditation, visualization's great to then try it out. But it's really about making it personal to you. Testing for maybe like 15 to 30 days, add it or change it. What do you see that regularly throws people off? You were talking about one of those examples.

I just want to build on this list a little bit, regularly prioritizing the priorities of other people. And that even could be, you see one of the most destructive things people do, first thing in the morning, turn on the news. And the news is a summary of everything that's wrong in the world. Yeah. Design to capture your attention.

And immediately, I could see that as being one thing that starts you off, where you're defensive, where you're looking for what's wrong, where you don't see the good in other people and including yourself. What are some examples that you've seen that are like that, that are normal parts of people's day, normal parts of their routine, but that maybe we don't give it a second look because we're not seeing it through this lens of rewiring the brain. So mental diet, for sure, and that includes the news. It includes any type of content. I get so many people say, oh, but when I'm on social media, I just compare, like, to other people. Okay. So curate your feed and your content

in a way that's going to serve you rather than you watching people. And then you're like, oh, why am I not on holiday or why am I doing this? Even if it's your friends, I'm so strict on this. If that person or that content does not serve you, unfollow it. Online and in person, very simple. So we're always consuming content, a really big start. Second, do you know what? One of the sneakiest things that people do that actually rewires the brain is like talking down to themselves as a joke. They'll be like, I'm just such a mess today. Or like, no, no, it's just the way I am. It's so interesting. I sometimes observe it and it's so habitual.

They don't even know they're saying it. But every time they say it, their brain does not know if it's a joke or if it's actually believing you're such a mess. It doesn't hear the tone. It just hears the words. So that's really important because even if you put yourself down as a joke or in your, you know, your friend groups, you think you're the funny one by doing that or, you know, it makes you feel better.

Just be, just think and be intentional. Well, actually, is it useful to even say this? Like, why? I'd say another really sneaky thing is body language. People forget that as much as the brain can train the body, the body is also always sending signals to the mind. And people will tell me they'll be in a meeting and they're like, oh, yeah, but I just, I didn't have the confidence to speak up,

but they're sitting like this. I'm like, I'm not surprised. If you've got your shoulders, you know, scrunched and you're looking down, even if you're just walking, even in this moment, anyone listening, put your shoulders back, put your head higher, open space in your chest. And you're immediately, you just take a bit more space. And it's not to say, okay, you're going to be the most confident person in the room, but you have just signaled to your mind, okay, I trust myself. I'm feeling a bit more confident. And so that's a very, very sneaky thing that people forget can really impact

your mental fitness. Four thing, people you hang up, hang up, around with. If you are always around people that are complaining and gossiping and just, you know, oh, this has gone wrong or, you know, at the end of the day, it's like, yeah, my life's like this, you are going to, like, osmosis absorb all of that, the energy of it, the emotions of it. It is so contagious. And so you cannot change the people around you, but you can change the people around you. So if you feel like they, again, do not serve you and you have to have a very strict conversation with yourself, start changing, change who you hang out with. And look, I'll be honest. Obviously, I've come to L.A. No, no one here, anything. But back in London,

I've had a tough year when it comes to friendships and connections, because, you know, people I've known for like seven, eight years, I started to realize, wait a sec, they make me feel really small. They make me feel guilty for X, Y, Z. And actually, do I want to be around that? Do I want to feel like I'm on eggshells? but because we have these histories with people, we think we have to have futures with them, but we don't. And so that's really key. And I'd say the other, like, really, really sneaky thing is a lot of the time people can have confidence, but they don't have self-confidence.

And there's a big difference because you can be in a room and you can be speaking, you can be talking. And everyone's like, wow, she's amazing. but internally, you're like, oh my gosh, I feel awful, I feel insecure. Stop trying to train confidence. Instead, train your self-confidence, which is questions like, do I trust myself? Even if everything goes wrong, do I trust myself? Can I walk into a room and leave, and I don't mind if people don't like me?

Can I also walk into a room be the quietest one there and actually like myself? That is self-confidence, and that is something that no one can take away from you. And because you have that, naturally you will start being more confident. But so many people, it's such a sneaky thing. They think they have to work here, work on the self-confidence. So those are some areas that I think are really, I guess, trapping people. So it's that self-talk. It's the body language.

It's, again, some of the beliefs as well, the people you're around, the diet. I think those are, yeah, some of the key ones. Let's chat about confidence for a second. Is confidence the presence of someone? something, or is more the absence of something, or a little bit of the both? Confidence, I just see as a skill. It is a skill. So I think that you can be in a situation and have doubt and have fear, yet still be self-confidence. I don't think it has to be either or. I think real self-confidence, ultimately underneath everything, is self-trust. And the reason I say that is because what

I find fascinating is even when I'm working with like some of the best athletes in the world or the best CEOs, it really, really baffles me how most of them all suffer with a lack of confidence or self-confidence. And when you really go under, under, what is it that they actually mean? They say, I don't trust myself. And so really I think it comes down to do you know who you are? do you know that you can handle anything, whatever happens? And you're not always going to have 100% confidence. No, there's always going to be an absence of some things. There might be an absence of the perfect conditions.

There might be the absence of someone. There might be an absence of your health. But actually, can you come back to yourself and say, you know what? I know who I am. And I trust my mind. I trust my body and I trust my soul. That to me is self-confidence. For some people listening today,

feel that complaining doesn't feel good, but they also feel addicted to it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's going on there? Yeah, I think complaining, gossiping, it's, it's, we are addicted to it. I'm not saying you should never be able to rant or complain or express maybe if you're annoyed or frustrated. That's okay. But when we get into the habit of only doing that, you'll just find that what you're doing is you're wiring your brain to just be more negative. Because I'll give you the example. So I was with a friend the other day and we were both in the exact same place and we'd parked the car and the walk was really long. Now I was there like, oh my gosh, yay, I needed a walk today. So great, we'll do that like 20 minute walk to get to the place. But my friend was like,

oh, goodness sake. Like I just don't want to walk. It's so. hot, it's so long, why don't we park somewhere else? Now, that is a really good example of we are in the exact same situation. It is a walk, right? But you can see it as, okay, this is an opportunity. This will be good for my health. Or it's, I'm just going to complain and complain and complain. And I bet it was out of habit as well. So what's going to happen is the more you complain, compare, things like that, you are just teaching your brain to start seeing all the things that are wrong with you, with others and the world. If that's what you want to do, then that's fine.

But you will not find a level of peace or joy or happiness if that is what you are constantly inputting because you're feeding your brain like junk food, basically. What I will say, though, is if you do need to complain or you do need to rant, go for it, journal it out, maybe even tell your friend, look, I've just got so much on my mind and I'm really frustrated. Can I just share it really quickly? After that, we're done. Let's move on to something else.

That is great. Give some context. give some time frames and use a journal. So I have two journals. I have a journal where I write about all my goals, my gratitude, you know, things I'm loving, excited for. And then I have a journal that I write like the worst stuff in, things that annoy me, frustrate me. Like if someone open that journal, I think I'd go to jail. But then I burn that journal. It's not for me to reread or anything. It's simply an outlet. And sometimes I've like ripped pages. I burn it. And I don't mind because because I have that in me. Of course I have those thoughts. Of course I want to complain. But I'll put it in

the book and then it's gone. And so it still gives me a way to do it. So that's one thing I'd say is a really good start to this actually is make a note in your phone every time you complain. Just take one day and make a note, just do a dash every time you complain and you'll be surprised. You'll be surprised how much we do it about tiny things. Oh, the cue's too long. Oh my God, my salad's like this. note it and then you'll see it and you'll be like, oh my gosh, I can see how just habitually now I'm looking for everything that goes wrong. Great. I thought you said you were about to, I thought you said you were going to shoot the journal instead of burn it, just like you shot the piranhas. No, no. That was just in the mind. Yeah. I burned this one. I sound really aggressive, don't I?

No, not at all. It's great. We all have a little bit of that part inside of us and we need to give it an outlet. Yeah, I'm fiery. I'm fiery. I think the other thing about complaining, as you mentioned a lot of times it's habitual. And other times there's this deep underlining thread that's there where I remember I, first time when I was spending more time in L.A., I was invited to a talk by Eckartoulli. Yeah. And I'm a huge fan of his. His work has been very powerful for me.

And he was saying, you know, why is it that we complain about the red light, like taking too long, for example, right? Sometimes it's just habit and we've trained our mind that way. And other times it's I'm going to make something else wrong as a way to make me right. Because if these things are wrong in my life, if it's always somebody else's fault, if it's always the other that's doing something to me, then I must be better than that. You don't even need to say you're better than that. You're just being negative and complaining about everything else as a way to sort of

of prop yourself up. And the challenge with that is it's like candy. Right. You can eat candy and you get a little bit of a sugar rush, but it's never going to fulfill you. It's never going to give you that lasting energy and it's going to have all sorts of downstream consequences. And I think catching, my favorite moments are catching myself complaining and then revisiting that statement. So with my wife, I'll regularly do that. I'll say, you know what? Okay, I'm complaining about that thing. Here's the part of that that was me venting.

And here's the other part of that. That's not fully true. Because if I lie to myself about a situation, what I'm doing is I'm robbing myself about the power to change it. The law of responsibility says that if we didn't have a tiny part in how something played out, doesn't mean that it's our fault completely. But if we didn't have a tiny part in, it being the way that it is, then we can't do anything about it. So if it's always somebody

else's fault, in a way, I think that gives some people peace because they're like, well, I can't do anything about it anyway, so I'm not going to try. It's somebody else's fault that I'm in this situation that I'm in. And a lot of people don't realize it. Babies come into the world. They're not designed to complain this way. We inherit this from the people that we spend time with. and unwinding it, be gentle. Be gentle. Because especially when you're going down this journey and you're around the people who raised you

and they might have this attitude as well, the natural tendency is to want to complain about the people who are complaining. Right? Yeah, exactly. And everybody's been there. I've been there as well. That's why Ram Dass has that famous quote.

You think you're so enlightened go spend a weekend with your family. Oh, it's true. Because they know your trigger. and you know those triggers and you'll respond to those triggers. Absolutely. But when you are around people who might be complaining and let's say you can't immediately do anything about it and definitely the people that are closest to you,

like your long-term friends or family members or people even at work, when you used to have a relationship that was built primarily on complaining because it was the way that you guys bonded, the older version of you, even though you're trying to change, the last thing that that person wants to hear in that moment is how they need to stop complaining. Yeah. But if you can listen to them, if you can take it in without judgment and understand, okay, great, that's where it is. Not in a way that's too abrupt, but you can steer the conversation in a different direction, talk about some things that are lighting you up, asking them about some things that are lighting them up, and give them an opportunity to see, do they want to go down this journey with you of rewiring as well? And sometimes, as you were kind of hinting to earlier, you're just in a different position in life compared to somebody else.

And they're not ready to want to go down that journey. And that's okay. Friendships, relationships, they all have a place in time. But have some compassion because we've all been there at some point in time in our journey. So that's my little rant about the journey of complaining. Yeah. I've been on all sides of that journey. No, I love that.

And yeah, look, we're human. of course we have to complain sometime. And I don't think it's as easy as just now not being around anyone who complains. But I think as well, we've got to protect our own energy, peace, and you do have control over that. And one thing I will say, rather than going from, I think a lot of people, when they think about mental fitness, they always think they have to just have a really positive mind.

It's like, okay, I have to have positive thoughts all the time. It's a really big misconception because it's kind of impossible not to have some thoughts that are going to be a bit more negative or judgmental, things like that. The point isn't to not have any negative thoughts. The point is you want to have a more positive relationship with your thoughts and with your mind. Because you can't keep pushing them away.

The more you push them away, they're going to come at you. So it's okay. It's about accepting, fine, I need to complain for a little bit. But then I know that, okay, I'll let it go and now find a solution or whatever it's going to be. And sometimes, you know, you can be walking behind someone. And it's like, oh, they're going so slow. maybe life is just telling you slow down a bit.

The easiest way to start practicing a bit of this like everyday frustration and complaining, whenever you're in the car, LA is so good for this. Whenever you hit some traffic or you hit a traffic light, it's just like, oh, come on, come on, come on. Take that moment to just smile. Be like, cool, I get a moment of pause. I can slow down. Everyone says to me, oh, but I have no time for my mental fitness.

I bet you, you're in a car for more than an hour. hour or two hours, you have got time. You've absolutely got time. It's just a moment. It's a few moments that if you keep stacking and stacking, you realize these are all little skills that when you bring them together, you start seeing changes in the brain, the body, everything. What have been some things that have been most helpful for you personally? People love to hear when different authors come on this podcast about things that work for them that keep you in the routine and the bubble, and I mean that in a healthy way, the routine and the bubble of the power of the mind, right?

Take us in the morning. I'm not looking for the most optimized routine. I'm looking for the things that have meaningfully meant a difference to you and have helped you step into the power of the mind. My morning routine, I have three rules. Do one thing for the body, one thing for the mind, one thing for the soul. So the first thing I do is I wake up, I put my headphones in, and I dance. I just dance. One song can be Beyonce, can be M&M. I don't mind. I literally shake off

anything because when we are sleeping, we hold so much, even from the day before we're holding it, right, when you go to bed. So in the morning, I just shake it all off. And I don't think there's anyone that can disagree with me that when you put your favorite song on and you just dance like no one's watching, it's pretty hard not to feel good or better after you do that. First thing I do, got some endorphins, got some energy. Then I like to journal. I like to reflect whether it's my goals, because I've got this energy now. I've got the spark.

So I think about what I'm working towards who I want to be today. So that's really intentional in my journaling. And of course, if there's stuff on my mind in the bad journal, I put that too. Then I go into my visualization. Now, I actually visualize for an hour a day. I'm not suggesting you do that. Now, after eight and a half years, you know, I've built up, I guess, a resilience

that I love visualizing for that long. But at the beginning, you just need like maybe five, seven minutes. But this is everything for my mind there. And then I eat some melon. And that is literally my morning routine. I have a whole melon as well every day. I've had like over, what, 2,000 melons in the last few years. You know, because you talked about your health journey with ulcerative colitis.

Yeah. On the health side of stuff, which obviously visualization is part of that, were there anything that you have seen that helped your symptoms from a diet, supplement standpoint, or adjunct therapies? Asking because I'm sure there's people in the audience that either might be struggling with that or might have a family member. So for sure, visualization. And then what were the other items that you did on the side of diet, supplement, adjunct treatments? Yeah. Yeah, you know, a lot of people do suffer with whether it's colitis, Crohn's, IBS as well. One of the most fascinating things was that a lot of the Western medication and doctors,

they tell you that it's nothing to do with diet. I think if you take a step back, it's your colon that's inflamed. How can it not be to do with diet? So when it came to food, I tried everything under the sun, everything. I tried carnivore, paleo. I did like salads. I did just juices. but I think what it's come down to the most is whole foods,

grown foods, and I tend to have a lot of steamed veg, like steamed potatoes, things that are really like nourishing for the body. And easy to digest. Yeah, really easy. So fresh fruit, fresh veg and like, you know, things like lentils, tofu. Like I love that sort of stuff. So less processed, I think is really key. I also tried many different therapies, everything from like fecal transplants to

Iuretic medicine to like random things that you know like different smoothie diets and protocols that you know I was told and every supplementation and I think one thing that was fascinated me as well was when I was really ill a lot of people told me have probiotics

it will strengthen your gut and do you know it was odd every time I was having probiotics when I saw no change but two I was actually getting worse Now, I realized that, and I was told as well, that when my gut was in such bad condition, it cannot digest probiotics. But I was just feeding it like gazillions of bacterias. But actually, it wasn't, it couldn't digest it.

Now I have probiotics and great. I see the difference. It's great. But at the time, it wasn't. So really it's about understanding, okay, what is working for my body or not? And then, you know, of course, exercise plays are really. big role in your gut health, but also your just general strength as well. Those are the main things. I obviously tried and tested many things and everything was about how can I reduce

inflammation. So whether it was turmeric, whether it was celery, I was really trying everything. But I also think when you try too many things, you can't hear the body. And that was a bit of a risk to be like, wait a sec, what is my body actually saying to me, does it like this? And I found it interesting because I had been on a low fibre diet for about two years. So this is just clogging my system with pasta and everything like that. When I started having fibre, I was obviously going to the toilet a lot more. And I was like, well, this is making me worse. But it wasn't. It just looked like it was because I was going more often. But actually, by you clogging it up, you're making your work, the work for your colon so much harder. So one thing I also learn is that the body

takes time to regulate. And my body, I know this for like, not for a fact, but from what I observed. It has about a three-month delay. So if I'm really stressed, let's say, this week, like really stress, like I know I'm overdoing it, whatever, I will feel something in three months time. It's really interesting. So a lot of my flares would happen three months after a super stressful period at work or in school. And that brings me to my last thing, which you can do all the supplements, ice baths, everything in the world. But if you do not manage the stress and the thoughts and the mind, then nothing changes. Any other additional thoughts that could be helpful from what besides the stress that you were going through might have contributed to things being

bad in the first place. Like some people have been on this podcast and have talked, we had Dr. Nick Norowitz on the podcast, who's going through his medical school training at Harvard. And he's a PhD researcher on a lot of different nutrition topics. He also had UC. He ended up going a different approach. He went more the carnivore diet. He turned a lot of different fibers, other stuff. Even the tiniest bit of fiber would just throw him off.

And that's how he went towards carnivore, but like clean kind of keto is what he sort of arrived at. But one of the things that he shared on this podcast is that he was exposed to a lot of antibiotics. and that sort of messed up his gut and he feels like that was one of the stages that contributed to his situation. Anything that you've seen over the years that were part of that besides the, you know, stress that you talked about being in and some of the mindset pieces that were there? I think one of the, yeah, one of the weird things about this condition is there is no cause. And so it is really hard to think, well, could it have been this?

And I remember, like, one of the doctors I'd seen was like, oh, have you been traveling anywhere? I had been in the sea and like Mauritius and they were like, oh yeah, you could have caught a bacteria which has led to this. And then it was like, do you have a dog? Oh yeah, your dog could probably give you this too. Or it was like, you know, have you, antivotics was definitely a thing. Was there a particular type of medication? Is it hereditary?

There was so many reasons. I cannot pinpoint it down to one thing because like I said, I was a pretty healthy individual. I hadn't been on any particular like medication for a long time or loads of antibiotics. antibiotics. But for me, I think it was very much suppression of emotions. And I think with chronic health, it's like dormant until it, until something triggers it. And I think my body was just screaming at me to be like, you just can't keep doing this. There's obviously, you know, it was a lesson to learn. But I think once you are on that, then you realize that a lot of things can make it worse and that's really important. But for me, I wouldn't say there was any physical cause for

it. For me, it was a lot more emotional. So we have you on because you have a book out. This is your first book. Yes. It's called Visualize. We have it right here. Think, feel, perform like the top 1%. You work with a lot of different athletes, CEOs, top 1% performers in different areas. And you teach them about the power of visualization to rewire. the brain and the body. As we're winding down for today's conversation, let's go through a few things. Who's this book for? And what message do you want to share for individuals that feel like I've tried this visualization stuff? But I haven't really gotten it. Is this going to be something different? Yeah. So the book is really for anyone who wants to improve their mind, their mindset.

They want to build a champion's mindset. They know that maybe they overthink or, you know, they have limiting beliefs. And they think, actually, you know what, I know I can be stronger. I can be mentally fit. So it really is everything you need to know about the theory of mental fitness, but then practical tools to do it. Now, even though I teach elite athletes in C-Suite, a lot of the tools have been in these circles for years. And so the book was also really aimed to.

teach others these tools that we haven't had access to for so long that actually any one of us can do. Just as Federal, Djokovic or Serena Williams uses mental rehearsal for their games, why can't we use it for public speaking or for our own pickleball or tennis or whatever we want to do? So really, actually, it's like an insight into a lot of knowledge that people don't know about. But this book in particular, I'm most excited because it contributes new knowledge to the space. I don't know anyone who has spoken about or given practical examples of how to do five types of visualizations like this. And so it is that one-stop place to be like, okay, if I want to learn, practice and then master this technique, this is where I'd go. Because there's something for everyone.

You know, you don't have to be trying to be the top performer in your company or your life. But even if you know you find it hard to let go or you struggle with anxiety, great. There's so much there for you as well. So ultimately it's about gaining the tools to become more mentally fit so you can live a life where you have more ownership of your mind, your thoughts, your emotions and ultimately the way you perform. Maya, this has been great. We have the link to the book and the show notes. Is there a website too that you want to send people to? Yeah.

Well, myriitora.com is fine. And then Instagram is just Maya mental fitness. Same weird like LinkedIn, TikTok, etc. but yeah always very happy to have a chat or any questions etc as well you have great reels by the way you do a great job of breaking down super practical ones there was one i saw that was like i think you have pinned as one of your most popular ones right and it was on the idea of you know we admire so much physical fitness yeah and physical attractiveness but what about prioritizing our attraction to mental and the mind yeah we we always look for okay who's physically attracted

or we, you know, spend a lot of our time trying to look physically better. But I think mental attraction is the best thing ever. Because are you someone and also are you into someone who can manage their emotions, who can build their confidence, who can achieve goals without burning out? Like that is beautiful. And really, physical looks fade. But the mind is what stays. So that's what we should be looking at and investing in.

And if you look at successful relationships, is it about, like, yeah, because she's really attractive, that's why I'm still with her. No, it's because they know how to do the work together. They know how to have the hard conversations and they know how to be more empathetic. And that really is mental fitness because you are using the mind to be present with someone. And so it's the mind that makes you attractive. It's your soul that makes you attractive. But the problem is no one spends enough time there. So yeah, what I think is put some more energy into becoming more mentally attractive and just watch, watch who you attract to your world.

For the person who's listening today who's in their dating phase of life, regardless of what age they are, what would be one, two or three red flags that you'd have them look out for when it comes to somebody that they are dating when it comes to their mental fitness. What are the biggest red flags that somebody should be looking for in their dating phase of life when it comes to somebody's mental fitness? This is what I look at. Number one, which isn't necessarily a characteristic.

It's a, I guess it's a mindset. Is this person willing to grow? See, a lot of people aren't willing to, let's say, hear a bit of feedback or, you know, a question you ask them. That growth is super important because in relationships you want to co-elevate. Individually, you want to grow so that the relationship can grow. But if someone is quite against changing their opinions or trying things out, you're never going to get there. two, it's really this open communication. So I have a rule where I actually over-communicate.

And that includes whether it's your love language, whether it's... So I'll give an example. Like when I, let's say, feel something, I need a little bit of time on my own to, like, process it. Now, some, if I don't communicate that, will see that as me just avoiding it. But if I can communicate, hey, look, I just need like a few moments, a day even, and then I'll come back to you. That is super mentally attractive because it's... communication, you're over communicating what you need because it's clear you are self-aware enough

to know who you are and how to regulate yourself and how you're going to show up. That's also key. Then I think the third thing that I would see as a red flag is like performance. And I think this is hard in dating because naturally when you're meeting someone new, you know, we sometimes are like our best versions or we maybe think we need some alcohol to have to own. open up. But when you can really feel someone's authenticity and they're not afraid to be who they are, that's really attractive. And again, it comes down to the someone who has done the work on themselves. And what I would say is when you're trying to find out if someone has that mindset, that mental attraction, ask them good questions. Don't just go on a date and be like,

oh, yeah, it was your color. What kind of cuisine are you into? Like, they're all fine. But Ask them, here's a great question. So what is a part of your personality that you are working on at the moment? It's just great because then you start learning about, well, okay, they're like, you understand do they like growing? Do they, are they aware of what's going on? So that's a really great one. Or even what is a belief you've had recently that has changed?

Or what's something you believe about the world that others don't? Those sorts of questions will teach you how do they think, not just how are they showing up? How do they think? And so people hate dating me because it feels like an interview, honestly. But it's interesting because then when you meet the person that you can have that connection with, oh, it's everything. So, yeah, ask better questions. Okay, okay.

So here's one for the people that are in a relationship. Okay. One of the most common things you see is one person who typically is a little bit more growth mindset and somebody who is not or maybe in the opposite. I hear about this a lot from like especially older couples. Younger couples these days, there's a lot more tools and things that are out there and, you know, that can meet you where you're at to help you grow and more people are aware of that. But yes, one of the most common things you see out there is one person is grumpy and one person is growth mindset.

Right. And fundamentally the person who's in the growth mindset is asking, how do I change this person? Yeah. Talk to us about that. Yeah. And I also think that goes to be a lot of. on just relationships. It's also family, I think,'s interesting, you know, like, you want to like change the way your mom does this or dad does this or sister, etc. So I do think that's a

really difficult tension because when you are growing, it's like that co-elevation I was saying, you might be going like that and they're still here. There's a much bigger gap between your levels of consciousness or maybe the things you want to do or how you interact. And so it'll be a bit frustrating, whether it's the way you argue or things like that. Of course, there's an element of compassion because not everyone is going to go at the same pace. But I think this is where always, again, communicating where you are at. Because you don't want to be falling in love with the exact same person. Like, well, I guess the point is you won't fall in love with the same person today.

And then in like 10 years, 15 years, they're going to be different people. And you want them to be different. So whilst you may not grow because of the same reasons or at the same time, I think communicating where you are on your journey, what you're learning, even like role modeling and embodying that is key. Now you will find that sometimes there is resistance or that person isn't growing or changing. And truthfully, you've got to ask yourself,

if they are limiting your growth, that's really the bad bit. If they are making you like, they're dampening who you could be and they're pushing your growth down. I think that's where it's really, you've got to ask yourself that question, should I be with this person?

If they're continuing to support your journey and you can still continue to grow, that's okay. They will also find their own way, especially if they're exposed to what you're doing. I think, again, we've got to be patient. We've got to understand that sometimes it's a book, it's a podcast, whatever it might be. But I really think this is where that overcommunication comes in,

talk to them about it. And those are hard conversations. To be like, hey, look, I think I'm actually growing in this way. Do you notice changes in me? Do you feel like we're as connected? and that in itself will tell you what to do. But give it grace. Give it grace because so often, especially my generation,

oh my gosh, if one thing goes wrong or there's like an argument, it's like, no, no, no, we can't be together. Those moments are great because it's like we can be anti-fragile. The harder it gets, the stronger you can become, if you communicate well, if you understand each other's languages, if you understand how you manage stress better. So really it's about giving context and communication and every relationship will be different.

But as long as you can just state where you're at, why this is important to you, then the other person will either respect it or they'll be damped. Maya, this has been great. Thank you for taking us on the rewiring the brain journey, the visualization journey, and even tackling some of these bonus questions too. They were fun.

No, thank you. It's been a pleasure to have you on. Thank you. Amazing. Hi, everyone, Drew here. Two quick things. Number one, thank you so much for listening to this podcast. If you haven't already, subscribe, just hit the subscribe button on your favorite podcast app.

And by the way, if you love this episode, it would mean the world to me. And it's the number one thing that you can do to support this podcast is share it with a friend. Share it with a friend who would benefit from listening. Number two, before I go, I just had to tell you about something that I've been working on that I'm super excited about. It's my weekly newsletter. And it's called Try This. Every Friday, yes, every Friday, 52 weeks a year, I send out an easy-to-digest protocol of simple steps that you or anyone you love can follow to optimize your own health. We cover everything from nutrition to mindset to metabolic health, sleep, community, longevity, and so much more.

If you want to get on this email list, which is, by the way, free and get my weekly step-by-step protocols for whole-body health and optimization, click the link in the show notes that's called Try This. or just go to drew perot.com. That's dh-R-U-P-U-R-O-H-I-T dot com and click on the tab that says, try this.