Dhru Purohit Show - The Number 1 Weight Loss Mistake Most People Make and How to Create Lasting Changes Without Looking at the Scale

Episode Date: October 20, 2025

This episode is brought to you by Branch Basics, iRestore, and Rula. Most people focus on quick fixes when it comes to losing weight, but lasting change takes more than just reducing the number on the scale. Today’s guest shares what it really takes to build sustainable habits and redefine your approach to health and fitness. Today on The Dhru Purohit Show, we’re revisiting one of our most talked-about moments with Adam Schafer. Adam shares the behaviors and motivations that drive long-term, sustainable change and how it all begins with a mindset shift around what fat loss should truly look like. He also dives into how unrealistic weight-loss goals can discourage real body composition change. Dhru and Adam discuss why it’s never too late to rethink your fitness goals and share personal experiences that highlight the power of improving overall metabolic health. Adam Schafer, an IFBB pro bodybuilder and founding member of Mind Pump Media, joins us today as a co-host of the popular Mind Pump podcast. He managed some of the largest fitness clubs in the Bay Area and, along the way, collected eight national certifications, as well as a pro card in bodybuilding. In this episode, Dhru and Adam dive into: Motivation to change behavior patterns for sustainable change (1:39) Mindfulness and mindset shifts that improve how you feel (7:38) Overcoming discouragement from unrealistic goals (09:45) Ginny MacColl, the Oldest American Ninja Warrior (18:04) How Adam trained his wife and what she discovered (21:27) Final thoughts and takeaways (25:21) Also mentioned: Full episode with Adam Schafer 10 Ways to Tackle Fat Loss Everyday Guide This episode is brought to you by Branch Basics, iRestore, and Rula. Right now, Branch Basics is offering 15% off the Premium Starter Kit; just go to branchbasics.com and use the coupon code DHRU. Make 2025 your cleanest, healthiest year yet with Branch Basics! Hair loss is frustrating. Give yourself the gift of hair confidence. For a limited time, my listeners get a huge discount on the iRestore Elite and irestore.com  with code DHRU.  Take the first step toward better mental health today. Head to Rula.com/DHRU to get quality care from someone who cares. Sign up for Dhru’s Try This Newsletter Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Hi everyone, Drew Prode here. In my conversations, I regularly hear a common scenario from so many people I talk to. And that scenario is, hey, Drew, I feel like I'm doing everything right. I'm cutting on calories or at least I'm trying to focus on that. I'm working out like crazy, maybe chasing the number on the scale, but they aren't seeing sustainable results. Can you relate? If so, you're going to want to listen to today's featured moment from a past episode where I'm sharing a portion of my conversation with, Adam Schaefer, an IFBB pro bodybuilder and founding member of the Mind Pump Media team. Adam has managed some of the largest fitness clubs in the Bay Area and along the way collected eight national certifications as well as a pro card in bodybuilding. And on a conversation today from a past episode, Adam shares the truth behind why most people fail to reach their goals and why shifting the focus away from aesthetics and towards metabolic health, strength, and function leads to not only better results, but results that last. We get into topics like the myth of faster fat loss, why cardio isn't always your best fat loss tool, and how building muscle is the

metabolic secret weapon most people are missing. Adam also talks about how real success comes when we connect our health habits to our sleep, energy, sex drive, mood, and focus, and not just how we look in the mirror. This conversation is packed with clarity, compassion, and practical takeaways that everyone can apply. Let's listen in to this featured section from a past conversation with Adam Schaefer from Mind Pump Media. Most everybody comes in with aestheticals. They're unhappy with the way they look or their doctor told them they're unhealthy or they're carrying all this extra body fat. And so most people come in, they're like, they want you to change the physical part of them. But the part that will keep them going for the rest of their life is teaching them how to attach it

to all the other things that you're alluding to right now. So as my client, as I'm giving them the nutrition, I'm motivating to show up to the gym and stuff like that, what I don't want them to do is to be focused on the scale and the body fat percentage and the mirror. Those are things we use to measure if we're doing some of the right things, and I know you came to me for your goals,

but what I really want to do with you, Drew, is I want to remind you of, like, how you felt after that workout, and how did you sleep last night? And how is your sex life going? and how's your skin feel and how's your productivity at work and how's your energy with your kids if i'm a really good trainer i'm helping you connect those dots and i'm speaking to that more than i'm speaking to your body fat percentage your reflection in the mirror and your scale yes is it those are

tools for me as a trainer to make sure i know i'm calibrating things and we're heading the right way or i need to make adjustments so i'm using those things but what i'm talking to you about on a daily basis is all those other things because that is what's going to keep you going forever because if even if on the best train in the world. I get you to all the craziest goals you've ever seen. And once you achieve it, then what? Really hard to keep you going if, because then you just go like, okay, I've done it. I've already been the ripdest guy in the room. Cool. I've already been the strongest guy in the room. Cool. What now? But if I've done a really good job of along that journey, making sure that you really make those connections where you go, oh yeah, you're right. I'm like,

I did have the best sleep ever I've ever had last night. Oh, you know what? I have been kicking at work lately. Like, oh my God. You know what? You know what? the amount of frequency my wife and I have been having sex is crazy right now. Yeah, you think it's because of all these things. It's because of this training. It's because of the food choices you're making. Oh, man, my digestion is just been so good.

My stools have been great. Yeah, that's because of the food choices and the things that we're doing. Our job or what I try and do is I want to attach as many of those things to the choices that you're making because that is what will make you do until you're 90 years old.

Not the abs, the reflection, the PR and the gym. Cool metrics to know and to use to calibrate what we're doing. But what we really all should be doing, whether you have a trainer or not, is really paying attention to all those things, is checking all those other boxes on how much it makes a better version of you

in every other aspect of your life. You do that, you do a really good job doing that, you'll do fitness forever. What are some of the things that are mindset-related pieces that you see that consistently get in the way of people adopting that mentality? As routines pick back up, most of us are looking for ways to simplify. Why juggle 10 different cleaning products when one bottle, honestly, can do it all.

This is why I personally switch to branch basics and why I love them. Their premium starter kit comes with one powerful concentrate that makes everything from laundry detergent, bathroom cleaner, glass cleaner, and even pet wash and produce rins. I love that one bottle replaces almost every product in my house. It saves me money, clears the clutter, and gives me peace of mind knowing exactly what's in it. No synthetic fragrances, no dyes, no toxins, just plant and mineral-based ingredients that actually work. Safe for kids, safe for pets, and safe for anyone looking to reduce their toxic load. You can basically replace most of your cleaning products in your life with one bottle of branch basics,

and that's pretty freaking awesome. So while you're resetting your habits this season, don't forget about one of the most important. places on earth, your home. Head over to branchbasics.com to shop the premium starter kit and get 15% off with the code D-H-R-U at checkout. That's code D-H-R-U, Drew, that's me, at checkout at branch basics.com to start fresh this season with products that are safe, simple, and effective. Okay, let's talk about something we all deal with at some point in time.

Bad hair days. But what if those bad hair days and even thinning hair, actually be a thing of the past. I'm going to be super real with you right now. Thinning hair is on my mind. It's just a fact of life as many people get older, including myself, and I'm doing my best to prevent hair thinning and support my overall hair help. That's exactly what the I Restore Elite is designed for. It's clinically proven to help regrow hair using 300 lasers and 200 LEDs that deliver red light therapy directly into your scalp. And here's the cool part. It's super easy to use. You can pop it on when you're catching up with your favorite show, reading your favorite book at night,

or just even relaxing. It's lightweight, it's hands-free, and it's super comfortable. It's the kind of self-care routine your hair has been waiting for. And by the way, this isn't magic. It's science. The I Restore Lee uses advanced lumetech, red light therapy, and triple wavelength technology to reactivate dormant follicles and give you fuller, healthier hair. In fact, in a four-month double-blind clinical study, nearly all participants saw in the on increase in hair growth. And here's the best part. You can try the I Restore Elite completely risk-free.

They offer a 12-month money-back guarantee, so if you don't see the results you want, you'll get a full refund. No awkward questions, just your money back, or results you're happy with. Give yourself the gift of hair confidence. For limited time, my listeners get a huge discount, huge discount on the I Restore Elite

when you use the code Drew, D-H-R-U at I-R-R-com. That's the letter I, R-E-S-T-O-R-E-I-R-R-R-U with the code Drew, D-H-R-U, for a huge exclusive discount. Please support our show and tell them we sent you. Hair loss is super frustrating. You don't have to fight it alone thanks to I-Restore. One mindset, I think, is expecting things to the scale, the strength measures, the look in the mirror, expecting that stuff to happen so fast. and then when it doesn't, getting really discouraged.

Yeah. Which is why it's like I want to, I want them to focus on the other things, like let them know that that stuff is going to come. Don't worry. Let's really, like, because right away, you start making good food choices and you should see positive impact on your digestion. You should see positive impact on your sleep. Right away.

Sometimes the scale, the body fat percentage, that stuff takes a while. For example, like every client that I get that wants to lose fat, the first thing we do is not really lose fat, or at least that's not the focus at first. I want to build their metabolism before I start to lean them out. And what I mean by that is if I take somebody on and they need to lose, let's just say an average person probably needs to lose 30, 40 pounds, and they need to lose 30 or 40 pounds, I assess their diet and I look at it. I've told you already that most everybody's underconsuming protein.

And so what I want to do with them is I actually don't want to just start seeing the scale go down right away. What I want to do is hit their protein intake and I actually want to build muscle, which might result in the scale either seeing the same or actually positively going up. So that might will mind somebody. Somebody who's paying you to get them to lose 30 or 40 pounds and you're going to tell them, we might not lose any weight on the scale. In fact, we might go up a tiny bit, but trust me, this is what's best for you. Oh, my God. I mean, talk about a roadblock for most people. And that's you paying me as a professional who knows what he's doing trying to convince you. Hopefully I've got enough credibility that you just trust me.

If you're trying to do this on your own, that's a real hard thing to wrap your brain around. What do you mean, Adam? I'm like, I want to lose 40 pounds. I don't want to work out for the next month and see the scale, say the same or go up one pound. Oh, yes, you do. You do if I've increased your calorie intake and you're hitting your protein intake and you're getting stronger in the gym because what that tells me is that we're building your metabolism. So a better goal for me.

So let's just use some real rough numbers so the person can grasp what I'm talking about. Yeah, please. Okay. Here's average female. We'll talk about the, since the average client is a middle-aged woman trying to lose weight, underconsumes on protein and eats normally pretty low calories, believe it or not. I don't know.

I can't tell you how many times I've talked to someone sitting across from me who wants to lose 30 or 40 pounds when we look at their food and they're eating, and they're only eating like 1,800 calories, maybe. But what they're eating is like 1,800 calories, and where they got it is a glass of wine. and some carbohydrates, they're really low on protein, like it's all over the place, right? But yet she's got to lose 30 to 40 pounds.

So where do I go from there? Well, everybody wants to tout the law of thermodynamics. Oh, calories in versus calories out. Okay, well, based off of that law, you're telling her that she should just go move a much more, which is why they gravitate to the classes and the running and all the group X stuff. And so they go there and they go, okay,

I got to cut my calories while I'm already eating pretty low. I guess I got to stop the wine and start eating salads. So that takes them down. to 1,200 calories. And they see this initial weight loss. I mean, they might even drop in the first month, even 10 pounds. And they're celebrating like they did good, but that's not good. She's got 30 pounds to go.

And she lost 10, eating 1,200 calories and doing her circuit training class. Like, that ain't going to sustain very long at all. It's only a matter of time before she plateaus hard and she can't go anywhere. So what I want to do with that client since she represents an example of almost everybody that wants to lose weight is I want to get her. hitting her protein. I don't want any sort of group X cardio classes. I want to focus on building muscle and strength. Now, if I do a good job of barely creeping her calories up, so let's say they're at 1,800 calories and I don't really go much higher calories. I stay around 1,800 to 2,000.

So that's a small bump, but let's say 1800,000. If I do a good job of doing that, and hitting her protein and strength training, what she will most likely see is for that entire a month, we don't really move on the scale. But what happened was she lost four pounds of fat and she built four pounds of muscle, which equates to zero pounds moving on the scale, but a difference in her body composition and a difference in her metabolism. Now she's got four more pounds of muscle on her body and she's got four less pounds of fat. Scale is the same, but metabolically, we're heading in the right direction.

Now she's eating 2,000 calories. She's stronger than what she was before. And what, now Adam, do we? No, we still don't cut. We're going to keep going that way. What? Yeah, I'd like to get you up to like 25, 2,600 calories first. What, I haven't ate that forever.

That's, oh, I'm going to get, no, just trust me. So we start creeping that way again. Again, another month goes by. And we don't see much weight on the scale go down again. But this time she built five pounds of muscle and lost five pounds of fat. Now we're down a total of nine total pounds of fat, which is a lot of fat, off her body. And we've also put nine pounds of muscle. That's an 18 pound swing on the person who wanted to lose 30 pounds.

But on the scale, it shows nothing has changed. That gets in everybody's way. And that is really hard for the average person to wrap their brain around. But that person is kicking a shit compared to the lady who cut down to 1,200 calories and lost 10 pounds the first month. They're kicking a fuck. And they also actually look great. Exactly. And then if you have them stand on a scale, you'd be shocked.

A lot of women would be shocked to see how much they weigh. And you're like, wow, I would like to look like that, like another woman. A lot of times, this is such a, this is such a, you know, a mind-eff that I don't want my client to weigh herself because a lot of times she'll get in her own way. She'll see the scale and that will mess with her head too much. So a lot of times with my client, and this is a lot of this is based off the first assessment when I'm getting to know them, I can feel it out. I'll know if somebody's like, oh, I've got to keep the scale away from her. She keeps referring to it, how important it is to her. That tells me right away.

She's going to freak out if it goes up two pounds. And I don't even care if it goes up two pounds. Like if I increase her calories, there's a chance, and she's lifting weights. It's a good chance that not only she's going to go up a little bit in carbohydrates, which pairs with water, holds water. She's probably going to be drinking more water because she's now working out, which is going to mean her body's going to hold more water, which means she could easily be holding a pound or two of water that I don't even care about,

but she will freak out if she hired me to lose 30 pounds and her scale goes up two pounds in the first week, and or she's going to lie to me and she's not going to do what I tell her to do. So a lot of times a client like that, I'll be like, here's a deal. You're not allowed to weigh yourself for 30 days. Or I had some clients where I would weigh them, but I'd make them turn around on the scale so I can see the weight just so I'm keeping track of things, but I don't want them to see it. And then I'd let them know later on. Don't worry. I'll let you know where you're going, but I don't want you paying attention to that. Because I've already told you when we first met, scale's not important. I don't care about that.

We're changing body composition. I can keep your weight exactly where it's at and radically change the way your body looks. Trust me. And so that gets in most people's way when they first start is not understanding what they want to do. And the why that is so important to get her up to say 26, 200 calories. Imagine that same client, three months go down the road. Okay. We have the two scenarios. We have the lady that started at 1800.

She cut to 12 hundred. She lost 10 pounds. And then she cut again, let's say down to 900 calories and she lost another five pounds. So that lady is down 15 pounds in two months. And she thinks she's doing good. But boy, she's struggling because she's only eating 900 calories. doing her cardio classes like crazy, and she's hanging on by a thread. But the only thing hanging on to her is that she's lost 50.

She's halfway to her goal of 30 pounds. The other lady who's doing it with me and doing it right, she's the same two months down the road also, and her scale hasn't moved. But she's added nine pounds of muscle. She's lost nine pounds of fat. She's eating now 2,200 calories. Totally different situation.

And then I'm going to take that lady again up one more, one more month. We're going to go up again. We're going to 2,600 calories. And the other lady's like, I can't cut anymore. I'm already eating 900 calories. That's basically two salads and a chicken breast a day is all I'm eating. So she's like, I just got to, maybe I'll do more cardio, more classes to get a little bit more weight down.

And then at the end of the end of that third month where that lady's eating 2,600. Now maybe I go, okay, let's drop you down to 2,000 calories from your 2,600. And she just does this. Oh, and body fat just starts coming off like crazy. And then she's eating more than what she ate when she met me. And she's leaning out. So she's more, she's comfortable with the calories she's eating because that's what she was eating anyways.

She's eating more and she's losing weight. That is a difference of getting yourself in a metabolic advantageous place versus working against your body and trying to muscle your way to fat loss. That gets in everybody's in the way of everybody. All right. I want to tell you a quick story. But first, you know I'm a huge fan of doing the inner work, especially when it comes to our relationships.

So here's the story. Early in my relationship, my wife and I, when. to go to a couple's therapist. Not because something was wrong, but we wanted to build a strong foundation. Seeing a therapist helped us have real conversations about all the important things, money, intimacy, family, our future. And it made a heck of a difference. But honestly, finally, the right therapist back then wasn't always easy.

Between searching, scheduling, and figuring out insurance, it was a part-time job looking for one. That's why I'm a huge fan of Rula. Rula makes high-quality mental health care simple and affordable. They take most major insurance plans, and the average copay is just around $15 a session, sometimes even zero. You can match with a licensed therapist and start as soon as the next day. Every provider is carefully vetted so you know you're actually getting quality care. Whether you're looking for a couple's therapy, which I'm a huge fan of, individual therapy, I'm also a huge fan of that or medication management, Rula's got you covered.

Thousands have already trusted Rula to support their journey toward improve mental health and overall well-being. So if you want to do the same, head over to rula.com slash true. That's rula.com slash true to get started today. After you sign up, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support the show and tell them we sent you. That's r ulla.com slash dhru and take the first step towards better mental health today. You deserve quality care from someone who cares. You know, what you're sharing here reminds me of one of my favorite interviews from this year,

24 as we're recording here at the end of the year, there's a woman named Ginny McGonical. Don't know if you've heard about her before, but she's the oldest American ninja warrior. Oh, really? Right? She became an American ninja warrior, for those that don't know that.

You can Google it, but it's like the competitions where you have to like swing from different things and it's an obstacle course. And she was at the age of 67, I believe, we'll factor this afterwards and link to the episode. At the age of 67, she went in for a routine doctor's appointment, and they basically told her, hey, listen, you don't have osteoporosis yet, but you have osteopenia. Your bones are actually, like, not strong.

They're getting brittle. And you're on the road to getting one day osteoporosis. And she freaked out, and she thought, how is this possible? I've been lean my entire life. I eat very little. I've been a ballet dancer, you know, an actress, other stuff, model. How is it possible that I'm in this situation? So she asked a doctor, what can I do?

to like deal with this. And he said, well, there's not much that you can do. And then her daughter was at the time just starting to really get into this sort of way of living, exactly what you described here. And she said, mom, I think there's actually a lot. Her daughter was into CrossFit, was competing at some of the games and things like that and said, mom, there's actually a lot that you could do. Let's start off with the basics, though.

Let's start having you eat more. Let's get you having some more protein in the diet, not eating just these like super skinny salads that you're so used to. to which you feel that helped you keep this thin physique as a dancer. Let's get you eating more, eating more protein, and then let's get you working out a little bit, right? Just slowly. We're going to sort off once a week having you do some resistance training. I think even her daughter said, try a pull-up. She couldn't even do one pull-up at the time when she first got started. And then she stayed consistent with it, little by little, being consistent on that program, making it a lifestyle. And I think it was like six months into it, she could finally do like two pull-ups that were there.

And she felt really confident. Anyways, long story short, fast forward. She kept this up and she now made this a lifestyle, was eating more than she ever was eating before, having more protein consistently, and actually looking forward to her training regimen and not worried about bulking up, something that she was afraid of previously, but actually being proud of the fact that she was developing strong muscles. and regularly doing like five, ten pull-ups. And then so she got excited at the age of, I think it was right before her 70th birthday, she said, I'm going to enter into this thing. I'm going to set as a goal to enter into this American Ninja Warrior competition.

And she went and she competed. I think she didn't do that great on her first one, but she became the first and oldest person at that age to actually compete. And then she started crushing the competitions and everything that were there. but it's just the reminder, oh, and the best part is she went back to her doctor a year and a half later on to get tested. And he said, not only do you not have osteopino, you've completely reversed this whole situation. So everything you're talking about here has real world implications, even for somebody who's thinking like, oh, am I too old at the age of 65, 70, 75, you can make a massive difference today just by focusing on the basics. It's, you know, it was, my wife has got a pretty cool story with her journey with me.

So we've been together for 14 years. And, you know, we met when we were older, right? So we met when I was 30. And by that time, I was wise enough to not tell my partner what to do, right? So I knew to just allow her to come to me when she was ready because she's, she's a collegiate level athlete. So she was always fit, played basketball, ran a lot. and had trainers, even train her before. And so I would watch the way she kind of ate and trained

and always knew that I had something to say to her, but I'm like, I'm not going to tell her until she comes to me. When she watched one of these transformation journeys that I did, she finally, and this was after like four years we've been together, she came to me and she goes, okay, like, if you were to write my diet and my training, what would you do? I said, well, first of all, no more running. You're going to lift like this three days a week.

I want you to focus on increasing your protein intake. And that's all we're going to focus on right now. And she's like, oh, grumbling, right? Begrudgingly followed this and did it. You know, fast forward a year of her like following that. She just was blown away. She's 34, 35 at this time, in the best shape of her life, better than she was at collegiate level. She'd been able to sculpt her physique too, but she's never been able to do, right? She always got in shape by running and playing sports and cutting calories. Or she put on weight by overeating and not doing those things. And that was kind of her way.

And even when she weight trained, her form of weight training was always circuit-based. It was always high intensity because that's what all the athletes were doing. So it was jump boxes and plyometric stuff. And like, so in her head, I strength train. I lift weights. And I'd tell her like, no, that's not strength training. Like you're basically doing cardio with weights.

And so there's a way to do that also. And I think that's the other mistake that people make is they, because they take an orange theory class or an F-45, which promotes this kind of circuit training, that's more like cardio than it's like traditional strength training. What you need to do as a woman, and this is men too, is you need to lift weights to build muscle, which means you have rest periods,

and you put on more weight and you get stronger, and you rest again, and then you put on more weight, and you hit that protein intake, and you will start to build and school. And now she looks back and she's like, she's eating like a thousand more calories than she's ever been able to eat. She has all this metabolic flexibility.

She's shaped and sculpted a better person. She's now in her four. 40s and she looks better at her 40s after having a kid than she looked at 30 years old when I first met her as a ex-collegiate athlete. Wow. And that's just from adopting like that philosophy of training coming from someone who was an athlete and exercised, but did it in the form of how I feel like so many people do. They think just burn a lot of calories manually and do high intensity stuff and cut calories.

And that's their mode of getting in shape when it's like, no, the beauty of lifting weights. is you can sculpt your physique. And when you sculpt your physique and you build muscle, you also build your metabolism, which gives you all this room and flexibility with the calories. You can eat way more with that extra 10 pounds of muscle on you than if all you try and do is burn calories all the time. And so it's so cool to look at her at 40-something years old after a kid

and the frequency of her training and the intensity of her training. She doesn't have to do with that. She's got to go in and kind of touch the weights every once in a while. And she maintains a better body and a better physique in a better metabolism in her mid-40s than she did it 30 years old coming out of college. Something that we would all want. Right. Something that we would all want.

And that is possible if we can focus on just the basics and take out a little bit of the noise, which is what I really appreciate about your guys' channel and the business that you've built. You know, you're really here to help provide signal in this world of noise that just a few things done right is all we need to do to have our fittest year ever. 100%. So many powerful messages in today's featured moment. And maybe the most important of them all is chasing the number on the scale might get you short-term results. But if you want to transform your health and body for life, you have to shift your focus.

As Adam reminds us, true health isn't about the numbers. True health shows up in how you feel everywhere else in your sleep, your digestion, your confidence, your strength, and your ability to show up fully in your life. So if you've enjoyed today's conversation, I highly recommend you check out the full conversation with Adam. Again, these episodes are about featuring special moments that you might have overlooked in the past, even if you did listen to the episode. That's why we're highlighting them, and that's why we call the moments. But the entire conversation is a past episode, and we always linked that in the show notes if you want to listen to the whole thing. And in that conversation, we get into a whole range of topics, including Adam's top do's and don'ts when you're trying to lose weight, how to appropriately track protein, behavior.

that allow metabolic flexibility and so much more. I'm also adding a link in the show notes to my 10 ways to keep fat off guide. Losing weight isn't the hard part. It's keeping it off from the long term. That's the real challenge, which is everything people talk about on this podcast. In this free guide, you'll find evidence-based tips from top experts on my podcast to help you maintain your results for good.

Just check out the link in the show notes to get the 10 ways to keep fat off guide. This is all for free. And if you have someone in your life who you think would benefit from this episode and this featured moment, share with them. All right, until next time, thanks so much for tuning in.