Dhru Purohit Show - Three Simple Rules That Will Change Your Life with Marie Forleo
Episode Date: September 26, 2022This episode is brought to you by InsideTracker and AquaTru. How many times have you had a voice in your head telling you to doubt your deepest desires and goals? I know we’ve all been there. That v...oice is a real drag and can be pretty earth shattering if we let it take hold. Luckily, we can train ourselves to overcome it and instead achieve our deepest dreams and goals to design the life we truly want. Our guest on this week’s mini-episode of The Dhru Purohit Podcast, Marie Forleo, is here to tell us how. Marie Forelo is a born-and-raised Jersey girl who started out with nothing more than passion, a laptop, and a dream. Marie Forleo has created a socially conscious digital empire that inspires millions across the globe. Named by Oprah as a thought leader for the next generation, she’s the star of the award-winning show MarieTV, with over 50 million views, and host of The Marie Forleo Podcast, with more than 10 million downloads. Marie runs the acclaimed business training program, B-School, and has taught entrepreneurs, artists, and multi-passionate go-getters from all walks of life how to dream big and back it up with daily action to create results. In this episode we dive into: -How to change the beliefs that hold you back -The three rules of the Everything is Figureoutable philosophy -The two destructive thoughts that will derail you from new opportunities -How to shift your mindset around failure -Why you should start before you're ready -How to reframe your thinking around excuses Listen to the full episode here. For more on Marie Forleo, follow her on Instagram @marieforleo, Facebook @marieforleo, Twitter @marieforleo, and through her website, marieforleo.com. You can order her book, Everything is Figureoutable, here. This episode is brought to you by InsideTracker and AquaTru. InsideTracker provides detailed nutrition and lifestyle guidance based on your individual needs. Right now, they’re offering my podcast community 20% off. Just go to insidetracker.com/DHRU to get your discount and try it out for yourself. AquaTru is the primary water filter I use at home and in my office. Right now, they are offering my community an amazing deal. Get $150 off your filter at drhyman.com/filter today. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
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Hi everyone, Drew Prode here. Today we're talking with Marie Furleo, lifestyle entrepreneur and motivational speaker, all about the beliefs that hold you back. What are the beliefs in your life that hold you back from the highest goals, highest dreams, highest aspirations that you have? Well, Marie wrote a book on this topic and we interviewed her. And today on this mini episode, we're highlighting the top sections from that interview. The book was called Everything is Figure Outable. It's a philosophy. It's a philosophy. It's a
philosophy that literally everything in your life is figure outable. Now it's a phrase that Marie's
mom told her that stuck with her that no matter what challenge you encounter, even if you don't
have experience in it, even if you don't know how to solve something now, it doesn't mean
that you can't figure it out in the future. All you got to do is roll up your sleeves and actually
lean into it, creates a momentum. But how do you do that? Well, that's what today's conversation is
all about. One of the ways you do that is you identify the two destructive thoughts that typically
derail people from new opportunities. Marie is going to be chatting about that. You're also going to
learn in today's conversation how to shift your mindset around failure. It's not this terrible thing
that prevents you from doing anything in the future, but sometimes when people quote unquote fail,
they see it as that. They see it as something that prevents them from doing stuff in the future.
while I failed in the past, so that means I'm going to fail again in the future.
It's not that way.
And in fact, the most successful people fail pretty often.
We're also going to be talking about why you should start before you're ready.
Don't wait to be perfect to start.
Don't wait to be ready to start.
That is total BS.
If you can excuse my French for a second, you can get started earlier.
And lastly, Marie talks about how to reframe your thinking around excuses.
I have excuses in my life.
I use those excuses regularly to not do things that are difficult
that I know they're going to help me level up.
I have to work to get those excuses in check.
Marie does too.
She's going to be chatting all about how she approaches it in her life
so that you can benefit.
This is a fantastic listen.
I hope you enjoy.
Stay tuned.
So what are the things that hold us back
from fully embracing this idea of everything is figure outable?
What do people believe that is the opposite?
Well, I think one of the things to understand
to set this context is just the fact of how powerful our beliefs really are. You know, if you don't believe
that you can achieve something or learn something or become better in any domain, you won't. That doesn't
mean it's not possible, but our beliefs really are like train tracks that underpin our lives.
They direct where we go, how we get there, and everything. You know, a lot of people feel like,
well, if I just change my thoughts, but where do your thoughts come from? Underneath that is what you
believe to be true about yourself and about the world. And so I think we have to look at beliefs
first. And I think your question was how do we start to change or what holds us back, right?
Yeah. What are the beliefs that hold people back? If one belief is everything is figure outable.
Yeah. I mean, what's one belief that holds us back from everything's not figure outable or that
or that people don't have what it takes. I think the belief that I'm not good enough or I don't have
what it takes to become that or do that or be that or change that. That is a belief that can
stop you dead in your tracks and think about it. If you tell your brain, well, I can't or that's not
possible, your brain's not going to stretch beyond your cognitive comfort zone right now and search
for new ideas or innovations or go ask questions. So, you know, coming back to the brain,
that's why I love this idea because if you're just willing to play in the reenance that everything
is figureoutable, it opens up a whole new world of possibilities. I want to do this, Drew. Can we talk
into the skepticism that people might have when they hear this phrase? Yes, please. Because people
listening right now might be like, okay, cute idea, kind of see it, but no, everything's not
figureoutable. So when I first started writing the book, I was out to brunch with some friends
and my one friend brought her 10-year-old son along. And they were asked me like, Marie,
what are you working on right now? And I said, I'm working on a new book. What's the name? Everything
is figure outable. And the 10-year-old's like, no, it's not. And I was like, oh, okay, mister,
tell me more. What exactly isn't figure-outable? And he said, well, we human beings can't grow
working wings out of our back and fly away. And I was like, well, that's really interesting.
You know, have you heard of CRISPR that may be coming somewhere down the line? Two, we human beings
can indeed fly. And he was like, well, you're right. Okay. Well, I can't bring my dog back from the
dead, the one that died three years ago. And I was like, well, that's true as of right now.
But scientists are working on cryogenics and people have been cloning their dogs. And he was like,
oh, yeah, you're right. So conversations like that inspired me to create a set of rules.
rules around the figure outable philosophy. It's a mental container, if you will, so that we can
use this phrase and this philosophy for its intended purpose, which is to help ourselves create
positive change and then positive change in our communities and the world around us. So here's
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Rule number one.
All problems or dreams are figure outable.
Rule number two.
If a problem isn't figure outable, it's not a problem.
It's a fact of life, like death, gravity, certain laws of nature, taxes.
rule number three. You may not care enough to solve this particular problem or reach this
particular dream, and that's okay. Go find something you do care deeply about and circle back to
rule number one. So those three rules kind of help us set into play how we can approach this
idea and start to overcome some of the beliefs that, oh, everything's not figure outable. You know what I
mean if your brain keeps up, this, that, or the other thing. And I'll say one more piece on this
because a dear friend of mine who respects my work actually texted this to me and we had a conversation
about it. He's like, Marie, I love you. I respect everything you've done. I think the title is
amazing. But come on, everything's not figureoutable. What about addiction? What about death? What about
grief and loss and a life-changing diagnosis? How are you saying that all of that is figure-outable?
And I said, well, great question. Let me answer with a story. After I had shared this idea on Oprah's
platform, I started to receive letters from people. This is before I wrote the book. So they had only
just heard the phrase itself and they took it on and used it to create change in their lives. And one of the
letters I received was from a woman named Jen. She said this. Marie, I loved your Oprah talk. This is
actually an idea that my mom has been trying to teach me my whole life. We sat down together. We both
watched it and we think it was fantastic. But then something changed. My mom, who's like my best friend,
was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, and suddenly nothing seemed figureoutable.
She said, but I really took a step back and looked more deeply at the situation, and here's what
I discovered.
I could figure out how to find nursing care for my mom who lived in a rural area.
I could figure out how to find foods that she could actually tolerate, and this was the big one
for Jen.
I could find out how to get medical equipment so that my beautiful mom could spend her last
days and in fact her last five weeks on earth exactly where she wanted to be, which was in her
home home. So Jen said, I can now say without a shadow of a doubt that yes, everything is figureoutable.
And thank you so much for sharing this simple phrase that made such a huge difference to two women
on the other side of the world. Jen's from New Zealand. It's such a powerful story because
everything is figureoutable doesn't mean that you're going to completely 100% fix a situation,
like get that person back. But what is the most?
ideal and best situation you can bring in that circumstance because as you said rule number two
it's that in that situation her family member getting diagnosed is like gravity that person has a
diagnosis yes and all of us are going to die sometime right and we just know that to be true so
death is one of those facts of life and one of the things that we dive deeper into the book is about
really helping yourself parse through things that are within your control and things that are not
And, you know, that's a little bit of an interesting area.
We wouldn't have scientific and medical breakthroughs if someone didn't look at a situation
and go, no, I don't think this is true.
I'm going to try and break through and change that reality.
So I think that's for each of us to decide, you know, what we want to consider this is
an irrefutable fact versus something that you want to see if you can reshape our world.
And I would invite viewers to decide that for themselves.
But I think on a very fundamental level, understanding that you cannot change someone else's
behavior that you can only really focus on your own is a great first step into making that distinction
between, again, focusing on what you can control versus what you can't.
Because in another universe, that friend of yours whose story is sort of touching that you just
shared, she's super focused on the fact that she's depressed and sad and upset because this
is happening to her family member, which is anybody's right to be able to do that.
Of course.
And she's not focusing enough on what she can actually do in this situation.
And that's what happens for a lot of people is we focus on what we can.
can't do instead of embracing, okay, this is the reality. What can I do now? Exactly. And I think you
just hit the nail on the head, drew. It's like all of us are going to face really hard truths in life.
No human being escapes that, right? We are all going to be on our knees. We are all going to
experience grief and disappointment and loss and some really challenging things. And when those
challenging things occur, we do have to ask ourselves, what now? And I think it's in those moments
that when we reach for this idea that, well, everything is figure out of, what can I do to lift
myself up or other people up, given these circumstances? That's where we kind of rise into our
full power. That's where we tap into our innate wisdom. And that's where we start to create positive
change. You talk about two viruses. Yes. On the topic of belief, you talk about two viruses that can
derail us in this mentality. Can you share what those two viruses are? And what I love about your book is like,
You kind of give a, you can think of it this way or you can step into this framework.
Yes.
So these are two thought viruses that I've seen I have and most of us have whenever we're in a learning environment.
And the reason they're so destructive is because our brains actually shut down when we think this way.
So here's they are.
The destructive thought number one is I know this already.
Whenever you find yourself, you know, listening to a podcast, reading a book, being in any kind of educational environment, the moment you have the thought, I know this already, you disengaged.
You stop listening.
You check out.
You're off to something else or you just think, oh, this is old hat.
But here's what's interesting.
Most of the time, when you hear the thought, I know this already.
Instead of listening to that and disengaging, I want people to stop, catch it, and turn it
into a productive question.
Instead of, I know this already, ask yourself, what can I learn from this?
What can I learn from this?
Because there's always two things that you can learn.
First, the thing that, well, excuse me, let me step back.
First is you can learn a new refinement or a new refinement.
angle on a concept that you're already familiar with. So anything that you think you know already,
there's probably another layer of mastery to it if you're actually open and have a beginner's mind and
that's how you approach it. But more likely, here's what you'll discover. The thing that you think
you know, you're not practicing in your life fully right now. There's a huge difference between
understanding something intellectually and having it be operational or functional in your life to the
degree that you're getting a benefit from it, right? Absolutely. So asking yourself, what can I
learn from this, am I applying this right now? It's a great way to stay engaged and present and help
yourself reach that new level of mastery. So that's destructive thought number one. I know this
already and you change it to what can I learn from this. The second destructive thought is this won't
work for me. You immediately shut down your brain from any new possibility if you hear something
that is outside of what you already know or maybe different than what you expect and you're like,
oh, that might work for that person, but this won't work for me. There's no possibility for growth there.
So if you hear that thought pop up in your mind during this interview or any learning experience, stop and change that to a productive question.
How can this work for me?
How can this work for me?
When you ask questions, your brain is designed to answer them.
We all know that, right?
So if you're asking smart productive questions like, how can this work for me?
You're pushing outside of your cognitive comfort zone and you're challenging your brain to find new innovations and new connections that you wouldn't otherwise discover.
I do this all the time in business.
So if I find myself in any type of educational environment and I'm thinking it doesn't
apply to my industry or it doesn't apply to who I am, I ask the question, how could this work
for me?
And I always find new valuable ideas or, oh, I could maybe apply it in this way.
And these are things I would have never thought of if I just stopped at the thought,
this won't work for me.
Because if you don't ask, your brain's not going to even entertain the possibility.
Correct.
It doesn't mean that you're going to have the answer, but you won't.
even entertain, which means that you won't even get started.
Correct.
You have a quote in the book about failure, and you talk about it.
I'm going to paraphrase because I didn't write it down.
Failure is something about being a character.
Oh, I'll tell you.
Yeah.
So this is actually something from Judge Victoria Pratt.
This is something I learned from her.
She was a guest on Marie TV.
She's become nationally known for her work in criminal justice reform.
She's like this incredible judge that practiced in Newark, New Jersey, and now she's just off on this other incredible adventure.
So this is what Judge Victoria Pratt taught me.
Failure is just an event.
It's not a characteristic.
People can't be failures.
And I was actually posting about this today on Instagram.
Here's a great frame on failure.
It's a faithful attempt in learning.
That's it.
It's nothing that we have to be, quote unquote, afraid of.
and it's nothing that we should try and avoid. It is a necessary step on our figureoutable journey. So you could look at it in a certain framework that I failed on Wall Street. Did I fail though? Or did I experiment, try it, learn something that that wasn't for me and I moved on? Same thing with publishing. I'm not a failed publishing executive. I went for it, discovered what it was, contributed as much as I could. And it's like, this isn't for me. So we have to move on. So I think for all of us, the frame on failure I like to share with people, it's like if you went to a movie, right, and you sit down in the seat,
And you've got your popcorn and you're so excited.
And all these characters on the screen, all the stuff's happening.
You're really into the story.
And then midway through, they hit a huge conflict.
They quote unquote fail.
And then you're like, oh, they're a failure.
You get up and leave mid-movie.
You don't even know how it's going to turn out.
And so many people, I think failure is just an incredibly short-sighted concept.
You have no idea where your story is going to go unless you truly just give up and are like,
okay, I'm just going to sit on the couch the rest of my life.
But, you know, every failure really is a faithful attempt in learning.
And if you could just see it as this is just one moment, you don't know where the story is going to go.
You relieve a lot of pressure on yourself.
Yeah, so important.
And that goes back to when you don't have that belief that you're defining yourself as a failure.
Yes.
You ask different questions.
Right.
What's the next opportunity for me?
That's right.
And there's some self-distanceing too.
I think the beauty in Judge Victoria Pratt's notion that failure is just an event, not a characteristic.
The self-distancing helps our brain actually see it with more objectivity.
So then we say, okay, well, what about that situation didn't go as planned?
Or was there a red flag that I chose to ignore?
You know what I mean?
Or what's the learning here?
I love this phrase.
Sometimes I'm asked on interviews like, oh, Marie, tell us about some of your biggest failures.
And oftentimes I'm caught like a deer in headlights.
Not because I haven't made mistakes.
Not because I don't run into walls because all of us do.
But this phrase saved me when I was young.
I win or I learn, but I never lose.
When I heard that mantra for the first time, I was probably in my late 20s, I was like,
oh my goodness, this is the coolest thing ever.
I don't know who originally came up with it.
It certainly wasn't me, but I adopted it for myself.
And I was like, wow, if I crash and burn, I'm not going to necessarily file it in my brain
as a failure.
What's the learning here, right?
How can I grow from this and then I move on?
So oftentimes when people ask me in interviews, I literally have no mental file folder to go back to
that's filled with failures because I don't see them that way. And that's legitimate. One of the central
themes that you talk about in here is you start before you're ready. That's right. Tell us about that
and what does that mean for people who are listening at home. Yeah. So I've noticed, I've interviewed
so many incredible people and I love to study folks who are just top in their field. And it's a pattern.
People who live the lives that they want to live to find success however they want to define it,
but are doing them in a big way, start before they're ready. So what that means is just the
fact that our minds will kick up this nasty little lie constantly say, oh, that would be nice
to do someday, but I'm not ready yet. You know, it could be about learning a new language,
changing your job, making a big change in your health or your fitness, anything really. And our
minds always are designed, right, to try and keep us safe and small. But the notion that I'm not
ready yet is just, you know, decades can go by and you're still never going to be ready. So a great
hack to move around that is just to practice starting before you're ready. So rather,
than procrastinating and researching for months or years, just dive in headfirst.
Like, learn through taking action.
What does that look like?
In an active sense, rather than spending hours online, can you go and take a physical class?
Rather than reading about something for months, can you pick up the phone and make a phone
call and have an active conversation with someone so you actually start getting into things?
It ties into another concept that really helps me a lot in my life, which is clarity comes from
engagement, not thought.
So a lot of times we find ourselves kind of feeling this tug of war inside like, oh, I don't know.
Should I go explore that new career?
And we talk about it for months or years without ever actually doing anything.
So start before you're ready.
And clarity comes from engagement, not thought, or almost like these great salt and pepper shakers that if you're like, okay, how can I start before I'm ready?
Well, maybe I'm going to go sign up for that community college course.
I don't feel like I'm ready for it.
But what's the worst thing that can happen?
And I don't even know if I'm going to like it.
Well, clarity comes from engagement, not thought.
me go take that class and see how it feels, see if I actually enjoy it, and then I'll know
whether or not I want to pursue this career change, or maybe this is just a hobby and it just
brings joy to my life.
So what to pivot for a second and go back to some of the themes inside of your book and the things
that derail us from figuring things out and putting all heart and soul into whatever it is
that we want to give love and attention to.
And you talk about the most common excuses that derail us in the track and how to reframe our thinking
around them.
So first of all, why did you dedicate an entire chapter on excuses?
Because I think excuses are one of the deadliest things that hold all of us back.
And here's what's true.
All of us make excuses from time to time.
I do it, you do it.
Everyone listening does it.
So this is not about making ourselves feel bad or shaming ourselves or beating ourselves up.
It's not about that at all.
But it is about getting real with ourselves.
So A, we can stop feeling so powerless against our circumstances.
and B, we can start creating real change.
And if we don't want to create real change, we don't have to beat ourselves up about it.
We could just be like, this is what I'm choosing right now.
So we all make excuses from time to time, but here's the best way I've ever found to start
to unwire them.
And before I go into that, the three primary buckets of excuses that we usually make fall into
these categories.
I don't have enough time.
I don't have the money or I don't have the know-how.
So the know-how piece, quite frankly, is a weak-ar-go.
Because given technology and where we are right now in society, if you have access to any
internet in less than three or four minutes, you can start finding an answer, you can start
getting a clue to learn just about everything.
And most times you can learn or start learning for free.
So we're going to take that one off the table.
So time and money tend to be the two that trip us up the most.
And the best way I've found to start to unwire that is to look more deeply at our language
and specifically two little four-letter words that can screw us up.
can't versus won't.
So if anyone listening has ever said, you know, I really want to start working out again,
but I can't because I don't have the time.
I'm too busy with work and the kids, right?
Or my goodness, that design class looks amazing.
I would really love to take it.
I think it would open up a whole new career, but I can't because I can't afford it.
Or if there's something that you want to pursue but you're like, I really want to get started
with this project, but I can't because I don't know how to get started.
Those are things.
Again, I've said stuff like this to myself before.
I don't know if you ever have.
Of course.
Yes.
So again, anyone listening, this isn't about coming down any.
The reason I'm saying this is because excuses tend to be the topic that people can get the
most sensitive and prickly about.
So that's why I just want to set the stage because people can get really defensive.
And I'm like, look.
You fight to hold on to our excuses.
Correct.
So I'm just saying, again, we all make them.
But here's what's cool.
Anytime you catch yourself saying the word, I can't.
If you exchange that word for won't, what we.
usually discover is something much more true. Now, what does won't mean? So when we use the word can't,
99% of the time, what we really mean is we won't. Won't means that we're not willing to,
that we don't want to do the work, we don't want to put in the sacrifice, we don't want to be
uncomfortable, be inconvenience, take the risk, so on. So let's go back to those examples, right?
Rather than saying, I can't get up or I can't find the time to work out, I won't find the time
to work out. Rather than saying, I can't afford that design class, I won't afford that design class.
Rather than saying, I can't get started because I don't know how, I won't get started because
I don't know how. The won't thing is really interesting because here's what's true. I can tell you a
few stories from my own life, Drew, but I'm curious if you have one for yours. Have you ever found yourself
in a position where you wanted something so badly, but you didn't have the time or you didn't have the
money or you didn't have the know-how, but you wanted it so much that you overcame those
excuses and made it happen. Have you ever had that? 100%. Right? I think all of us have. I've certainly
had those times in my life, which proves that it's really not can't, it's won't. Because when you
want something bad enough, you wake up early, you find the time, you create the time. We human beings
are incredibly resourceful, but we lie to ourselves about our priorities, right? About what's
really important. And so I think if you just try on that phrase,
and just say, I won't or I don't want to right now.
That's not my priority.
Other things are more important.
What happens is you feel a whole lot of freedom.
And here's why the distinction between those two words is so important.
Can't is a word that keeps us in a disempowered place.
It's as though we don't have any control over our time or our energy or our life choices.
And I don't know anyone who can figure things out or make their dreams come true if they feel powerless and helpless, right?
won't is a word that's very empowered we feel like we're in control of our priorities I'm choosing
to do this or I'm choosing not to do this and when you feel like you're in that place of choice and
you have autonomy everything becomes possible for you you're happening to life not life's happening
to you correct and I think what's important about the can't versus won't is that you often say
that the can't I I sometimes hear people say like a hard can't yes but oftentimes it's like
disguised a little bit. It's like a soft like, oh, this week got so busy and all these things
are going on, haven't had the chance to write or work on that side business or whatever.
Correct. Or life is so nuts right now or whatever it is. And it's a softer can't. It's a disguised
can't that's out there, but it's still a can't. Correct. And it's usually disguising some sort of
fear. And this is where another of your ideas comes in about like how we, how procrastination is
so tied into fear. Yeah, absolutely. And just one more thing on the camp versus won't before we go there.
It's like, I have a dream to someday speak Italian fluently. But it's not my priority right now.
You know how I know that? Because if I had a break, like when I was putting the finishing touches on the book and working like 12 hours a day.
And when I got done, I didn't then pick up my phone and start learning more Italian words. You know what I did?
I watched stranger things on Netflix because that's what I wanted to do. So I'm not going to tell myself, I can't learn Italian right now. I'm too busy.
I don't have the time. That's not true. It's not the truth. It's that I won't or I don't want to
or it's not my priority. So again, I just want to make sure. And also that's okay in a way is what you're saying. It's
totally okay to look at your life and say you can't just do everything at the same time. That's right.
And things may shift and circumstances may shift. And I won't want to do that right now.
That's right. And sometimes parents are me, but I have, you know, how many kids are you're to, I really can't. I'm like,
well, what if your priority is your children right now? And that's the priority. And they should be the priority. So let the pressure
off of yourself and be appropriate to the season and stage of life. And you could just say, no,
I'm not going to go after this particular dream because right now I am in my dream of raising my
family. And that's okay. And in the last part of the book, you talk about how the world needs to
hear this. You know, so many people out there is a long question, but so many people out there feel
it's all been said and done. Everybody's already talked about this. I have these thoughts and ideas.
I want to make a difference in the world. I want to give back. Even if it's a
I want to give back to my children's school.
That's right.
Or I want to help start with this nonprofit or just be a better human being.
But how am I going to make a difference?
And you say that no matter how many times you think you're an idea or creation as shared
in the world, sometimes it takes that one person expressing it in their unique voice at the
right time and the right place for it to actually make a difference.
And I think that's such an important message for the book.
It's everything.
So to set some context for this, you know, one of the things I say at the end of Marie TV,
every week, it's at the end of every podcast, is the world needs that special gift that only you have.
So I try and instill this in folks because I believe this to be true that, you know, God,
the universe source, whatever higher power you may or may not believe in, I don't think any of us
are here without a deep purpose.
Like there's no extra people, right?
And every single person has a unique set of talents and gifts and perspectives and stories
that they and they alone are here to contribute.
And when you have an idea for something you want to create or a change,
that you want to make, even if it's in your own life. And you don't do everything in your power to
make that dream come to life or to figure it out. You are stealing from those who need you most.
There is some person that's out there that's either waiting for your message or product or service
or that looks to you as an example or that will look to you as an example of what's possible.
I'll tell a really quick story, especially for those around. But wait, everything's already been
done or said before. I remember when Josh and I first got together and were a couple, I was still
bartending and waiting tables. I was at the very beginning of my business. And he's an actor,
so he would go away and shoot a TV show or a film. And he'd come back to our apartment.
And in the trash can, there was like, you know, empty boxes of craft macaroni and cheese and
like chef Boreadie. It was like, you know, old terrible eating habits from my past, right?
And he was so sweet. He was like, you know, we should really eat more vegetables.
And he would try and like get me to start taking supplements. And he's like, Marie, we should
really start juicing. And of course, at the time, I was like, whatever, hippie man, I'm working like
for part-time jobs. I have no extra cash. I don't have time to learn your granola-lo-loving weights.
So fast forward, like a few years. And I became and met my best friend on the planet, Chris Carr,
who's like this wellness icon, and she's a cancer thriver. She's got all these New York Times
best-selling books. And so one day I come home and I'm like, Josh, I met the most amazing woman.
She's got all these recipe books. And she talked to me all about superfoods and here's the
supplements we should take and, oh, we should get this juicer. And I was like, we should have
started this years ago. And Josh had an obvious face palm moment. He's like, what are you taught? I've been
telling you the exact same thing for years. Why couldn't you hear it from me? And that's the point.
So there are people out there, no matter how many times that you think something's been said before or
something's been done before, it's not going to land for them until it comes from you.
There is this ultimate thing where people are still wondering, do I have anything to say?
Yes. And this last part of the book, I think, hits home.
to that because ultimately there has to be this deep down trust that the things that you're feeling,
the voices that you're going through, the ideas you have, the things that you want to bring into fruition,
they're not a mistake. They're there for a reason. They're there for reason. And one of the things
I've noticed for me is when I don't listen to what's happening in my heart, that's when kind of
all of the destructive thoughts, I don't feel good about myself. I can start comparing myself to
others. You know what I mean? You just kind of have this negativity spiral that goes down. But when you
pay attention to those signals in your heart and those creative impulses and you start to act on them,
even when it's difficult, even when you're scared, even when you don't know how it's going to turn out,
you actually do feel more joyful, you feel more healthy, you feel more energized.
And I will tell you, you know, as we wrap up our conversation, when we're thinking about our brain,
a really simple thing, if you take nothing else away from this interview, but just keep repeating
the words, everything is figure outable to yourself.
Repetition is a key principle in neuroplasticity.
That is how we retrain our brain to think and new.
ways. And so if you just did that for a few minutes in the morning at lunch and in the evening,
any time the shataki hits the fan, you repeat that phrase, everything is figure outable,
you will train your brain to think more creatively and optimistically, especially in the face
of setbacks.
