Dial In with Jonny Ardavanis - Brianna Harris - The respectable sin of gossip

Episode Date: December 29, 2022

In this episode, Jonny Ardavanis sits down with Brianna Harris, Dean of Women at The Master’s University and asks her about the respectable sin of gossip. Gossip is often disguised by concern, requests for prayer and requests for wisdom, but this sin is not a minor peccadillo in the eyes of God, it is a grievous offense.Watch VideosVisit the Website Follow on InstagramFollow on Twitter

Hey guys, my name is Johnny Artavanis and this is Dial In. I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas celebrating the birth of our Savior. In the new year, I'm going to be doing a short series on work, laziness, idleness, rest, and Sabbath. And if there's any other topic you would like for me to cover, please shoot us a message. We would love to hear from you. In this episode, I sit down with my friend Brianna Harris, who is the Dean of Women at the Masters University, and I ask her about a respectable sin that both men and women struggle with, that being gossip. Let's dial in.

Bri, well, thank you for sitting down. One of the things I wanted to talk to you about was the subject of gossip. If we were going to pull out like a panoply of respectable sins, amongst those would for sure be gossip, especially in a Christian environment, because gossip is often disguised. And this is both a male and female reality. But speak to it. How is just the topic of gossip, why it's deadly, why it's dangerous, how it's disguised and why it dishonors God? Yeah, I think one though is we live in a world where nowadays like everybody's opinion needs to be heard and told and social media, I think has played a huge part in that. And I think so now when we hang out with people,

we're like, oh, I want to give my opinion on this person's life and this person's life. And we all think it's fine. And like you said, it can be disguised and even caring for someone where you're like, oh, I want you to pray for so-and-so because she's dealing with this thing. It's like that's pray for if I vent, though, because I've got to get this off my chest. And kind of like letting that be an excuse to like talk about things. Just trash someone else. Just trash someone else. Or kind of feeling like, well, it's more about me than it is them, even though they are part of the situation. And so I think.

What do you mean by that? Like if I'm in a situation with someone else and I like, since I'm dealing with it, I feel like I can talk to you about it. But I'm saying bad things. It includes them and I'm saying bad things about them. But it's OK because I have to deal with it. So I have to like I have the license to talk about it. Yeah. Even if it talks poorly about someone else. Do you feel like even sometimes people can disguise gossip by asking other people for wisdom? Yes. Or like advice on something. Yeah. And I think it's, I think it is hard in those scenarios. I think we should be getting wisdom and advice from other people, but I think there are ways to go about it. And we were just talking with the students about this today, about

how even just leaving someone's name about it, out of it, or giving like a context for something. So you can really, because if you really want to love another person well then you can do that well you can ask for help in a way that protects them and cares for them where you're not just like trashing someone else um but i don't think we are really reminded to think critically in that sense and so we just spot off at the mouth and like talk about people um i think and don't even really think twice about it. And so I think that we do need to remember that God hates that and that it's hurtful to other people and that we should be thinking about, is this edifying? Is this encouraging? Would I, you know, the question, would I say this to someone if they were here? You know, and I think those questions truly are helpful to think about because there are so many things that I could would even go to say and be like, oh, if that person was here, I for sure wouldn't say that.

So I shouldn't say it. And Lord, help me to think rightly about that person. And so I think there's not a huge push, though, to kill the sin of gossip because so many people are doing it. And then we're afraid in a moment, if we even feel like maybe a friend is gossiping and we would want them to stop, we're afraid of what they'll think if we say something or all these things. And we're focused on ourselves rather than what's most honoring to the Lord. And so I think more people need to just be like, Hey, that's actually not cool to talk about someone like that. So let's talk about

something else. Or like, maybe you should pray pray about pray for that person or just like redirect the conversation but i don't think a lot of people address gossip and so i think it continues to just be prevalent in the christian community especially so like how can someone so you mentioned calling it out just going like hey that's gossip i am actually not interested in hearing that yeah how can someone become even more sensitive to the gossip that comes from them? Like, what would be the way that, you know, sometimes I think probably people are not are insensitive to the way that they talk. So how can they become awakened to even their own blind spots in that regard? Totally.

I think one, praying, asking the Lord to show them where they lack in that, or like, if I don't see a Lord, help me to see when I'm talking poorly about someone or show me where the gossip is in my life. But I think also bringing in accountability. I have friends where we've talked about like, man, I think I gossip. I don't really know. Like if I ever do make sure you tell me. And I feel like that's helped me a lot where. So you have basically a friend group that mutually reinforces the priority of not gossiping. Yes. And that becomes like a communicated determination.

Hey, if I gossip, call me out. If you gossip, I'll call you out. Another thing I think that's super helpful is, you know, everybody wants the tea. So like I would like to hear about. Wants the tea. Wants the tea. Got it. So it's like the gossip.

Yeah. You know, that's what the kids call it these days. And so I had to realize that I can be that person where I'm like, yeah, tell me, I want to know all these things and how it's actually, I need to be in control of that and be like, oh, if you don't need to tell me, don't tell me. And I think that's something I've seen in like my friend group where we'll be talking about something and I can see like a friend will hesitate before she's about to say something. And I used to be like, come on, tell me what's going on. And now I'll be like, oh, don't say it if you don't feel like you need to or you feel like it's not going to be helpful.

And I feel like I have friends who do that, too. And I think that's been a helpful part because I think it's a everyone plays a part in it. And so it's like you kind of want to tell people people want to know. And so we're all just like excited. There's a, everyone plays a part in it. And so it's like, you kind of want to tell people, people want to know. And so we're all just like excited. There's a push and pull. And so it's helpful to be the friend too, who's like, actually don't. Like I want, like we want to protect that person

and love them well and love the Lord through that. And so to have friends around you too, who are holding themselves accountable and you can call out like the both and, I think is, has been really helpful in my own life. And then just finally, you talk about, you know, obviously gossip offends God. He hates, you said he hates it. Talk about why gossip grieves God. It says in Ephesians that we grieve the Holy Spirit when we don't speak in ways that are wholesome and edifying.

Why would, just explain to someone why gossip in particular or the sins of the tongue grieve God. Yeah, I mean, I think like you just said, it is something that's offensive and we're called to love people. And love doesn't always have to be making everyone feel good. So there are times where people can be offended and not be wrong or unloving. But I think that we are to model Christlike love. And I think when we tear people down and there's that brings division and as, as a body of Christ, we're supposed to be unified and we're supposed to be building each other up and we're called to those things. And so when we do the opposite of that. By gossiping. Yeah. By gossiping that, that grieves the spirit. And so,

yeah. Well, Bree, that's helpful. I'm thankful for your time. Thanks for sitting down. Yeah, for sure.