Dial In with Jonny Ardavanis - The Purpose of Marriage According to Genesis | God's Perfect Design | Jonny Ardavanis & Harry Walls

Episode Date: March 11, 2025

Discover the biblical foundation of marriage as explained in Genesis. Harry unpacks why God said "it is not good for man to be alone" and explains marriage as God's perfect solution - providing both a "helper suitable" and an "intimate companion." Learn how marriage provides the covenant of trust needed for true intimacy and companionship as designed by God.In this teaching on biblical marriage, we explore:How marriage provides both practical partnership and intimate companionshipThe biblical definition of a "helper suitable"Why living together isn't the same as marriageHow the marriage covenant creates the trust needed for true intimacyThe purpose of marriage according to GenesisWatch VideosVisit the Website Buy Consider the LiliesFollow on Instagram

I don't want to go so far so that someone is despairing if they're single. But I also don't, I think the comfortability of like marriage is an option. That's not the biblical. No, it's actually not good for you to be alone. I think that's actually radical for people. Well, I think it is. I don't think that people think that way. You know, I think they think marriage is a good thing.

Or there's alternatives to God's thing. In this culture, my opinion, a lot of people perfectly comfortable being 35 and alone. Yeah. And it's not because they're not engaged with somebody physically. It's they don't understand the solution. It's not just a periodic encounter with a woman. They'll find a girl, they'll find a guy, they'll do stuff with them and actually mute the realities they need, either prematurely connecting or doing certain things in a way that mutes the reality that I need a companion for life in the context of marriage. And God knew that, God said it, and it's important for people to recognize. Harry, thanks for sitting down. One of the things I want to talk to you about is the subject of marriage. You know, we live in a world where people are getting married older and older and older, almost a decade of distance now from 30 years ago

of the timeline of when someone would get married. And obviously, even for those who are married, I think many lack a biblical perspective on why marriage exists and what it is according to the scripture. So let's just start foundationally. Let's talk marriage, why marriage exists, and what is it? Yeah, I think that's a great question to ask

because the perspective that tends to govern our culture is not rooted in reality as defined by the giver of reality. God said during day six, after he called everything that he made good, he said there's something not good. called everything that he made good, he said, there's something not good. Until the not good is resolved, he wouldn't say it's very good. And I was in a perfect world. Perfect world, no sin. All the animals are friendly. People live with cats and dogs and

they consider them family. So imagine a world without sin and having the benefit of those companions. Awesome world. But in that awesome world, which included God, who is a person, yeah. God said, it is not good to be alone. In what sense was man alone? He did not have someone of the same kind, someone who was equal in terms of quality and kind. That was absent. So God, with a world in it, in a world perfect without sin, diagnoses with this perfect insight, that's not good. This is not good. And then he defines what is needed for man to have what is desired by God or designed by God and needed by man. And he said, you need a helper who is suitable. The old King James helped meet helper as a practical partner. And the word suitable equals intimate companion. So one involves partnership, practical support, and the other involves companionship and friendship.

And God says, you need this. I'm going to supply this. And that's indicative of a world to say, well, because we create, at least in my view, people today solve their problem of aloneness with friends, experiences, activities. In the digital world, yeah. And it doesn't include this biblical model of companionship. You know, they'll find a girl, they'll find a guy, they'll do stuff with them and actually mute the realities they need, either prematurely connecting or doing certain things in a way that

mutes the reality that I need a companion for life in the context of marriage. And God knew that, God said it, and it's important for people to recognize it. So let's talk about helper for a minute. You talked about a helpmate, helpmate, and then a suitable one. I think that creates kind of a pronged reality worth expounding on. People think of helper,

and I've heard you talk about this before, you know, is that just someone to help me mow the lawn, do the laundry, do the dishes? Talk about even the purpose for which God created man and Adam and how Eve comes alongside him in that endeavor then to help him and what people should think about when they think, okay, my wife is supposed to be my helper.

What does that mean, biblically speaking? Yeah, it's a core question, an important question. Practical partner, someone who makes up what is lacking. That's the pure definition of helper. Somebody, it was used of God. I look up to the hills from whence cometh my help. And so it's more than an assistant. It's not about an assistant. It's not somebody who does your laundry inherently. They can do your laundry. They can cook your food. They can clean the house. It's not about that. It's about the partnership, the provision of support necessary to achieve the purpose, the missional purpose of the man, the reason he made him, in this case, to rule and subdue the earth.

That's why he's naming the animals in a short distance, a verse or two, because he had a responsibility and she was essential to the achieving of that responsibility. I like to use Acts 13, 36, where David is spoken of, and it says that when he fulfilled his purpose, the purpose of God is actually what it says, in his generation, he slept. Now you can argue David's the only guy who's ever lived who had a purpose of God in his generation. And I think that's a short-sighted perspective. I'm gonna argue that God designs every man purposefully

to achieve by his design and desire a missional purpose. Every man is different. He's endowed with different talents, capacities, opportunities. If he becomes a Christian, he has supernatural abilities in terms of spiritual gifts. God builds men purposefully and he cannot achieve that outcome without his practical partner. He needs a helper. I'm a pastor. I cannot serve God's people. You're a pastor. You cannot achieve the goal of God in your missional calling without Katie, nor can I without Karen. It is an essential, need, practical teammate, somebody who makes up what I lack in order to achieve what God has designed. And so the second part of that is helper suitable.

The word suitable is someone who fits. It was used of pottery that was joined together. It was used of puzzle pieces united together. It had this concept of connection. It's translated in Pro talk about that. This is friendship. This is communion. This is companionship. I'm going to argue, this is my soulish, intimate friend. And I have in my wife something that no amount of friends can provide. It's like, I have male buddies. I like guys. I love the companionship and camaraderie. We enjoy it here in our office, but it can't supply what she can supply. She was built to fit me and share life with me in companionship. That's what God knew I needed. And that's what he created and provided. And that's, and then you have the naming of the animals. Like I always ask people, why do you think you go from that declaration, not good for man to be

alone, I'm going to make a helper suitable for him, to the naming of the animal? And I'm arguing that, well, who knew there was a problem in verse 18? God did. Who knew he had a problem at the end of the naming animals exercise? Adam did, because it said there was not found a helper suitable for him. So in all of creation, with all of its variety and beauty and capacity, there was nothing until God solved the problem by the supernatural miraculous creating. And you said he solved Adam's core problem by the supernatural miraculous creating. And you said he solved Adam's core problem by taking Eve from his core, right? Yeah, yeah. So met a core need.

He fashioned her, which is a unique word. You don't want to miss that. It's custom made. It's the work of an artisan. God fashioned her. Verse seven, chapter two, he formed Adam from the dust. He fashioned her from the rib. And then he presented her.

The word he brought her is the word present. It's when you have a wedding ceremony and dad walks her down the aisle. Dad is a representative of God in the pomp and circumstance of that presentation. Sometimes the bride is veiled, not so much anymore, but often in the past, a bride was veiled. And the word brought is unveiled. Okay, so dad brings her down the aisle representing God, comes to the front, and then he unveils his daughter. It's a formal presentation that mirrors this presentation. And Adam responds.

Now, this is bone of my bones, flesh of my flesh. Now we're talking is the way we might say it today. I've seen all the options. This is the option. And then he says, I want to give her a derivative of my name. She shall be called woman, Esha, that's the Hebrew word, because she's taken out of Esh, man. And so I'm arguing that Adam is affirming God's design

and wanting her to be identified with him, which is why men give women their name. It's not a sexist thing. It's a mirror of this. He's agreeing with God, this woman you've made for me. I receive her as the helper that I need. Yeah, and we were talking beforehand,

but there's that clause for this reason, right? There's a problem, man, it's not good for man to be alone. The solution is God's provision. Then you have this clause of, for this reason, a man shall leave his mom and dad and shall be, you know, cleaved to his wife. Let's answer the question, what's so special about marriage in contrast? And you, you touched on this already, but between just this and living with my girlfriend, you know, or having a girlfriend at all or a best friend, what's so special about the covenant of marriage that solves this problem and what makes it unique in regards to the component of God's

design? I believe that until there's a perspective paradigm shift, you don't understand the full solution. The full solution is a custom-made person presented, provided by God. You identify, you recognize, and then the words for this cause or for this reason attaches. This is marriage. The Magna Carta, the verse Jesus quotes, the verse Paul quotes, for this cause a man shall leave his father and mother, hold fast or cleave to his wife,

two shall become one flesh. For this reason, what reason? Well, the context is the aloneness problem. So that introduces the recognition that it's a two-part solution. Right person in the right place. The right place is the covenant of marriage. So I can move in with her. I can find the right person. Is Adam alone? No, he's not. He's got a girl.

She shall be called woman because she was taken out of man. We can't argue there's nobody like me. What you have to recognize is finding that person is half of the solution. The other half is putting that person in a covenant relationship. So moving in together isn't a marriage. That's why marriage matters so much. It's a covenant of trust. It's a covenant of trust. It's a covenant of commitment. And that trust environment facilitates the fulfillment that God designed and man desires.

So the leave, cleave, and unite, which is the old King James cleave, those three verbs, they're Hebrew verbs, are essential covenantal expressions of a context, a marriage covenant that allows a man and a woman to be intimate and not ashamed. Yeah, maybe just... Which is the antithesis of...

Yeah, he talks about that. That's the consequence of this covenant is, in a good way, is that naked and unashamed. People maybe, if they've grown up in the church, they've heard that. What's special about naked and unashamed. People maybe, if they've grown up in the church, they've heard that, you know, what's special about naked and unashamed that's before, you know, the fall. So there's no really concept of shame even at that point of sin, but what makes marriage unique in the sense that it

affords the opportunity and privilege of being naked and unashamed? How would you explain that to someone that's walking through premarital counseling? Here's what's special about marriage. Well, I have to, I would contrast it with the problem. Aloneness is no intimacy, no vulnerability. You're not connected in that way because you don't have that reality. So naked and not ashamed is the antithesis. It's the opposite. There's vulnerability, which true trust. Vulnerability comes from trust. That's the naked idea. It's not about just physical nakedness. It's about soulish vulnerability. And not ashamed means I'm not afraid. I'm not hiding.

I'm not running. This relationship is- Transparent. Governed by trust, which is what the marriage covenant produces. The leaving produces trust. The cleaving produces trust. The unity, uniting, becoming one flesh produces trust.

Right person, right place, marriage allows you to experience the fulfillment of the need God identified. Yeah, and it's always important, I think, to start here. You know, when you marry someone, when I marry someone, one of the first things I start with that ceremony is marriage isn't a cultural construct. It was ordained by God. And you can't get past the opening pages of scripture without being confronted with something beautiful God makes. And that's the covenant of marriage. And you've been married 42 years, right? Correct. And, you know, even people can spend their life in the church and not understand what's really taking place when someone's married. What is their spouse? It's a suitable helper. And so we want to look at that in the future from a biblical perspective

because there's maybe a woman or a man out there saying, I want that companion and God hasn't provided that. And so I think that's maybe worth talking about more in the future, but big idea here. Why marriage? It's not good for man to be alone. And what is marriage? And then maybe just we'll conclude that, answer the question. It's a two-part solution. Right person in the right place.

The right person is the custom made for you, girl, that God provides. You recognize, and then you make a covenant commitment together, a context where the fullness of what marriage is designed to do is provided. Listen, this works because it's God's idea. You said it. It's prescribed by God as the solution. It's not broken. Yeah.

It works, but you're in a fallen world with fallen people, the challenges of sin, the challenges of immaturity and selfishness. It's, it's not a given, but it is the goal and it is the reality that you're desiring this. And if you're married, you're desiring this. Because you want your marriage to achieve what God designed and you desire. And this is how that happens. Yeah, unless you start with that recognition too. Marriage is a moving target, right? What is it supposed to look like? So you have to start from page one and two of the Bible.

Marriage made by God, it's his gift, his design. And so instead of, it's not ambiguous in the way that we go about it, it's biblical. And so I think you call it these opening pages, the marriage map. God gives us the map, tells us how to go about it, how to find what he's made good. So looking forward to talking more, Harryry thanks so much