Dial In with Jonny Ardavanis - Why Your Words Matter More Than You Think | The Power of the Christian Tongue

Episode Date: February 3, 2026

In this episode, we dive into what the Bible says about how Christians should use their tongues. Building on our previous discussion about illegitimate uses of speech, we explore four biblical purposes for our words and practical ways to honor God with what we say.This episode is brought to you by our ministry partner Accountable2You. Join thousands living in freedom with nothing to hide, and visit https://accountable2you.com/dialin. Use our unique code DIALIN to get 25% off your first year of an Accountable2You Personal or Family Plan 🗣️ Four Reasons God Gave Us the Tongue: 1. To speak the truth (Ephesians 4:15, 25) 2. To build others up through edifying words (Ephesians 4:29) 3. To demonstrate tenderhearted kindness (Ephesians 4:32) 4. To praise and glorify God (Psalm 63:3) Key Takeaways: A commitment to honesty is the backbone of Christian speech Every word should build up, never simply to harmOur speech should always be gracious and "seasoned with salt" (Colossians 4:6)What comes out of our mouths reflects what's in our heartsWe can't transform our tongues without God transforming our hearts Practical Applications: • Be quick to hear, slow to speak (James 1:19) • Pray Scripture over your speech (Psalm 19:14, Psalm 141:3) • Speak according to the need of the moment • Let your words give grace to those who hearScriptures Referenced: Ephesians 4:15, 25, 29, 32 | Colossians 4:6 | Proverbs 26:18 | Romans 10:17 | James 1:19 | Psalm 19:14 | Psalm 63:3 | Psalm 141:3

You know, James says we have not because we asked not. This is a prayer God will answer. God's goal for our life is never just to stop sinning. It's to replace whatever sin is there with the fruit of righteousness. In this episode, I want to look at four reasons why God gave us a tongue. The Christian should only speak words that are spoken with the intention of building up and healing other people, never simply to harm. I think we value maybe culturally directness and clarity that the Bible says,

says let it be always gracious, always seasoned with salt. As a guy, sometimes you're like, I want to be masculine. But we are only like Christ to the degree that we share in the trait that he identifies himself, which is gentle. And here we have tender-hearted. Hank, how are we doing? Doing great, Johnny. How are you doing?

Good question for you. Last meal before you die. What are you eating? What are you eating? Actually, we didn't talk about this before he sat down. The first thing that came to mind was I would do some damage in a portillo. outside Chicago. I would do double cheeseburger,

cheese lettuce, onion only, a plain hot dog on the side, ketchup and mustard is for sinners, and a large cheese fry, and I'll just stop there. I'll not know where you're going. You have an issue.

Dude, for the longest time in high school. Why did you lick your lips before you answer? That order was $16.42. And literally there were people there who I... You've ordered that? Bro, look at me. What? What did you say you've ordered? I'm taking a lot of shots from a guy who's colorblind.

What? How many hot dogs? One. How many burgers? One double cheeseburger. Johnny, what are we talking about today? We're continuing the series on our tongue. Be kind. I haven't cried in a while. Okay.

Wait, what's your last order? Probably a breakfast burrito. One. One. You don't want to meet your savior on an empty stomach. No. Okay. Well, in our previous episode, we looked at the illegitimate uses of the tongue.

We looked at how the book of James, James is writing to promote the convictions and the lifestyle of a real Christian. A lot of people profess Christ, but not everyone possesses Christ. There's a lot of people that have been charmed by the gospel, but not everyone has been changed by the gospel. Even if I go back to my experience at Hum Lake, there are a lot of people that would come, you know, get baptized every summer. I gave my life back to the Lord to get baptized, and sometimes they'd ask the question, how do I know if I've been truly saved? And the answer from the scripture is not legalism, it's just the words of Jesus, is, well, the fruit of your life will demonstrate that the root of salvation has taken place in your heart. The way that you live is not what

saves you, but it does evidence that you've been born again. And one of the chief fruits, one of the main fruits, is the way that you use your tongue, because unbelievers, that's one of the chief characteristics of the unbelieving world is they spew poison with their mouths. That's what Romans 3. No one is righteous, not even one. The poison of asps is on their lips. But when God makes someone a new creature, he gives them a new heart. He also gives them a new tongue, so to speak. So now when they're interacting, people are compelled and propelled to ask the question, where are you from? You're not from around here. You talk different. Something about your tongue has been transformed. And just to punctuate that point again, because we can't overemphasize it enough.

that this fruit of your life is what saved you in the first place. It's evidence of you being given a new life through the Spirit of Jesus Christ when you confess him as your Lord and Savior. Correct. And then last week, we just looked at the tongue as powerful. We often maybe underappreciate how throughout Scripture the tongue is actually a central piece of many of these lists of iniquity. And so today, maybe we're going to queue up actually for the believer,

characteristics of maybe how their tongue should be evidence in their life. Yeah, I think first thing, as you already mentioned, Jesus is out of the heart, the mouth speaks, meaning that if we want to change the way we speak, we have to first and foremost have God's word, God's spirit, transform our hearts and continue to do so. We don't change our tongue by pulling herself up by our own bootstraps, so to speak. Our tongue is the reflection of our hearts. So if we want to change the way we speak, we have to have God change our hearts, and we'll come back to this in a moment. But one thing before we jump into this even further is even when we talk about, hey, don't lie, don't gossip.

you know, we talked about in the last episode, God's goal for our life is never just to stop sinning. It's to replace whatever sin is there with the fruit of righteousness. For example, in Ephesians 515, it says the thief who steals should no longer be stealing, but it then says, now he should give away. Like I think it's Ken Hughes, it says, you know, the gospel takes a thief and turns him into a philanthropist. It's a really difficult word. Yeah. But just meaning that he's no longer taking from anybody, he's giving to everybody.

And now with our tongues, it's not just that we stop gossiping and stop lying, it's that our tongues are now full of speech that is seasoned in a way that honors God. And I want to look at that for what I just read was Ephesians, 428 actually. But I want you to read Ephesians 415 because in this episode, I want to look at four reasons why God gave us a tongue, and the first of which is set against the backdrop of the reality that we live in a world of lies, and that is to speak the truth. That's one of the reasons God gave us a tongue.

So would you read Ephesians 415? Absolutely. So it says, but speaking the truth, truth and love. We are to grow up in all aspects into him who is the head that is Christ. And now read Ephesians 425. Absolutely. It continues. Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth, each one of you with his neighbor. If we are members of one another. That idea of laying aside all falsehood is the idea of like throwing away a filthy garment, meaning that if you're a Christ follower, if you've been made new by God, you are to get rid of

every sort of deviation from the truth. Even in the court of law we talked about, you're to speak the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Just anything that would be an exaggeration, an embellishment, a white lie, you were to throw it from you. It says, not just that, but to speak the truth, this is to your boss, to your coworkers, to your spouse, to your parents. One commentator says this, a commitment to honesty is the backbone of the Christian tongue. Therefore, the Christian would make this commitment. If it's not totally true in every form, I'm not going to say it.

You know, I'm not going to say anything that would not be fully true. And so the two things that stick out there, one, it's not only the like 180 degree lies, but to your point, it's there's no shades, there's no 2% here, 2% there exaggeration, which I'm prone to. And then the second thing, just again, reiterating is there's no carve out or exception. Like this is, this should be demonstrated in your life 100% of the time. Why do you think maybe keep compounding on that unpack? Why is it so important to be speaking the truth?

Well, I think because obviously we have a God of truth, and this is actually one of the things that separates us from the watching world. You know, there's a lot of ways that we maybe justify the embellishment or the exaggeration, but I love this verse. It says in Proverbs 2618, like a maniac shooting flaming arrows of death, is one who deceives their neighbor and says, I was only joking. I mean, that's like a potent imagery. Like a maniac shooting arrows. This is kind of the world that we live in. You know, hey, I didn't mean it. You know, did I really say that the Bible really cares?

God really cares about the way that we employ our tongue, making sure that we are actively and consistently speaking the truth. Obviously, this has to do with the stories we tell and the events that we, you know, I think sometimes people say things like, oh, he's just a little bit of he gets excited about the stories. I just, I would want people to take inventory of their life because, again, even going back to the last episode, we're going to take, we're going to give an account for every idle word. And God actually considers it to be very serious if we stretch the truth. Hey, folks, I want to take a moment and tell you about one of our ministry partners accountable to you.

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And accountability is one of the ways that you can ensure that you are protecting your personal purity and seeking to honor the Lord Jesus Christ. But it's not just not lying. When it talks about speaking the truth here, laying aside all falsehood and speaking the truth, have to include there the truth of who Jesus Christ is. That's one of the reasons God gave you a tongue. Paul says in Romans 10, 17, that faith comes by hearing. Someone has to hear the truth of the gospel, which means someone has to what? Speak it. And we pray for these opportunities. Like, okay, why did God give me a tongue? It's not just to lie, not to gossip. Paul says in Ephesians 619, pray for me.

And I think this is cool, just contextually. This is a guy that's been beaten countless times for sharing Christ. He says, pray for me that more opportunities may be given unto me that I may open my mouth boldly to make known the mystery of the gospel for which I am an ambassador in bonds and chains. He's in prison and he's saying, hey, why don't you pray for me that more opportunities may be given to me that I may open my mouth boldly? This is a way we, God gave you a tongue. One of the reasons is to communicate the truth of who Jesus is to a dying world. And I think what's so important and maybe like implicit that I want to make explicit is if you're a person who's known by the truth or the honesty,

that's a person you can build a relationship with easily because you actually know what you're dealing with. And so the chain link there of if we want to share the gospel and like many Christians would agree and like lean in like, yes, I want to share the gospel. But if you're not a person who's seen as honest, that is like a backdrop of no one's going to be taking you seriously. How violates the credibility of the message? A hundred percent.

So important. So anyway, keep rolling here. In all of this, in Ephesians 4 contextually, first three chapters are on what God has done. Paul turns this corner in Ephesians 4 saying, walk in a manner worthy of the gospel, okay, live in a way that reflects that you understand the magnitude of what God has done for you in Christ.

And then he says, hey, don't speak lies anymore. Don't lie. And then secondly, not only to speak the truth, but secondly here to build others up, would you read verse 29? Yeah. Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word is good for building up what is needed so that it will give grace to those who hear.

Yeah, I mean, this is a way you reflect the transformation that God has brought about in your heart. It says, let no unwholesome word proceed out of your mouth. Question, how many unwholesome words should a Christian speak? None. None. And it says only using, we covered that already, but only such a word as is good for edification.

Let's talk about that word for a moment. To edify means to build. It means to strengthen. It means to bolster. The Bible says, the Christian should only speak words that are spoken with the intention of building up and healing other people,

never simply to harm. We can speak constructive words. We can speak rebuking words, but the intention behind them is never just to slice and dice or to dismantle. and hurt, but always to heal and build up and edify. And that's very countercultural. It's very, it's something only the spirit of God can bring about in our life is to speak only that

type of language. Well, it's convicting, because I think it's so easy to get caught up in, like, in culture today. Like, you need to blow off steam or it's okay to kind of just say what's on your heart. And there's an element to which obviously people need to be truthful and honest. And again, your point, it's not that we can't have direct or hard things to say. but they should always be said in a spirit where you're trying to leave the person who's listening better off than you found them. Edify them. Yeah, I mean, that's sometimes the absolutes in the scripture are convicting when it says let no word, no unwholesome word. And then it says, but only such a word that is good for edification, meaning if it's not edifying, don't speak it.

You know, we say things like that and unbelievers say, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. But that's actually fairly emblematic of the truth of scripture. If it's not going to edify, don't speak. And there's even just a hidden element here of you have to know your listener. Like it's revealing that you have a heart posture tilted towards others. Because you can't do things that are building others up unless you're actually fundamentally caring about how it's going to be received in the first place. Yeah. And we always have to interpret the scripture with scripture because there's elements

where Paul is going to rebuke people with a level of aggression that are preaching a false gospel. but even the heart behind that is to heal them, to pull them away from the truth, you know, the, I would say, aberrant ideas of the truth. Then it says here in 29, it says, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment. That just means that there is,

when you speak, a level of thoughtfulness and intentionality that accompanies every word we say. You can say the right thing at the wrong time, and Paul says, when you speak, you have to have, not just kind of this prepared statement of like, this is right, but you could say what is right at a time where the person receiving that is not prepared, you know, to listen or, you know, maybe you're,

it could come across unaware of what's actually happening in their life. Yeah, I have nothing to add. I mean, that's just, it's convicting. And then it says here after that, according to the need of the moment, verse 29, so that it would give grace to those who hear, grace is not just, Hi, hi, it's grace is strengthening. That's why it says the grace of God enables us in Titus to deny ungodliness

because grace is power. And so when it says giving grace to those who hear, Harry says, you know, the Christian makes a resolution. I am only going to speak words that make souls stronger. I want to give grace to people through the words that I say and to such a degree that they feel strengthened in spirit when I leave my interaction with them. And then Paul's going to transition right from here to Ephesians 5-1

and say be imitators of Christ because that's who Jesus was. It says in Luke 422 that the people marveled at the gracious words which proceeded out of his mouth. He was gentle. He was gracious. In Colossians 4-6, Paul says, Let your speech be always be gracious, seasoned with salt, that you may know how to answer every man.

He's just talking about general conversation is to be always great. gracious. That's convicting because there's probably in our, I think we value maybe culturally directness and clarity that the Bible says let it be always gracious, always seasoned with salt. Yeah. And it's, it just strikes me as you're describing these things. Like it sounds attractive. Like these things do actually stand out. I'm thinking about people who in view these attributes. And it is, it's, you well, you know, no big deal. Dog. Well, you are so distracting when you come after my vocabulary. I was impressed.

No, but practically, like the people who have, who demonstrate these fruits in their lives are people that we are drawn to. And that is also the way with the unbelieving, watching world. Yeah, no, it's true. And this, yeah, this is the platform of a witness. To have your speech always seasoned with salt means that your speech is loving. It's never bitter. It's never arrogant. It means also, and this is just from a, you know, when it says season with salt, it just means that your words,

are preserving of decay, there's no corruption in them. It's a healing effect. You know, like everyone you talk to throughout the day, like if you said, hey, what's going on in your life? There's something going on. And there isn't, for the Christian, a possibility to speak such a degree of grace to them that they feel like regardless of maybe what's going on in their life, that they, that was preserving.

It was healing. It was, it was balming. And then Paul says in Ephesians 432, after saying, don't talk this way, speak in a way that according to the need in a moment, giving grace to those who hear, then he says, be kind to one another,

tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God and Christ also has forgiving you, meaning that we speak to each other in a way, and this is convicting for me. That is tender. I think because we live in a increasingly, you know,

feministic world, as a guy, sometimes you're like, I want to be masculine. You know, like I, but we are only like Christ to the degree that we share in the trait that he identifies himself, which is gentle. And here we have tenderhearted. Yeah. One, it's there is not a tradeoff between sensitivity and strengthening here, which is, it's like you can dedicate time to just reflecting on that reality. But there is not the tradeoff.

Like you can be strong and strengthening to other people and also pair it with a level of tenderness towards others that just, the world craves. Yeah, and I think sometimes we fall in one ditch or the other people are like, well, I want to be the, you know, personally for me, it's like I want to speak the truth and I want to be like, I want to be vocal or things aren't being said. But there's always a way to do that with grace. And always the intent behind it is to love and to care for people. The fourth reason, you know, we've looked at in regards to how to use the tongue.

Why did God give us the tongue is so that we would praise the Lord? a lot that we could say here, but Psalm 63, verse 3 says, Because your loving kindness is better than life, my lips will praise you or glorify you, meaning that out of the heart the mouth speaks, and if a heart is full of love and fear and awe of God, David says, my lips are going to reflect the reality of what you've done in my soul.

I'm thinking about that amazing Bears game that you went to that we didn't watch together. But when we watch things that are amazing, or if you go to the Grand Canyon, you see something beautiful. There's an inborn sense of like, you want to talk about it. You want to unpack it. You want to share it with your friends. And so just in Psalm 63, God's loving kindness,

a heart that's truly enraptured with how amazing the Lord's love is for us would lead to an overflow of like, I want to tell you about it. And I want to tell you about ways that's being made evident in my life in a new way. And I want to share that with people who aren't aware of it. Yeah, and that's actually, you know, when Paul says that the will of God for life is Thanksgiving, when you're thankful, it's just going to translate to, you know, the way that you communicate. Even in Acts 16, it says about midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns to God and the other prisoners were listening to them, meaning that their hearts were so full of gratitude.

They just began to sing hymns and people that didn't know the Lord were listening in on them. What are they talking about? Because the nature of our conversation, it's not just that we don't cuss. It's that, oh, we're full of gratitude for what God has done. and it comes out in the language in our conversation. So these are helpful. I don't know. I want to call them theological truths,

but like they're true. Maybe practically could you boil it down for, I'm always one who's like, okay, give me application. So how does this start showing up, you know, when I leave this studio, how can I be thinking, again, I'm not bootstrapping it on my own will,

but I do want to obey. And so what are practical touchstones maybe I could have in my mind? I think as far as transforming the tongue, first of all, You just, we look to the explicit truth in the Word of God, speak slowly. You know, like, think about what you're saying. James 119 says, this you know, my beloved brethren, everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.

This is one of the hallmarks of a believer. You know, we looked at last time where there are many words, transgression is unavoidable. So if you don't want to sin with your tongue, maybe just put a governor on the amount that you talk. I mean, that's not my idea. That's the Bible's idea. I once heard a man, Dave Moxel once told me that this is the definition of humility, quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. And what that means is you're not just waiting for your turn to talk.

You're actually listening to people. Secondly, I think, and we touched on this, in order to transform your tongue, you have to have a heart that is renewed in the truth of the gospel. I like what Sinclair Ferguson says. He says the most important single aid in enabling you to employ your tongue in a Christ-like manner is having a heart that has heard the words of God so that you learn to speak with a spiritual accent. James already says that no man can tame the tongue,

meaning like you can put master the horse, the elephant, but no man can tame the tongue. But through the power of the gospel, God's spirit can transform our hearts to such a degree that he can progressively remove the poison in our hearts so that what comes out through our tongue and through our lips is less and less emblematic and reflective of the world in which we live. And it's, I'm just grateful as we've looked at this over the last two episodes,

that the Bible doesn't leave us like an emotional roar shock test of like, oh, man, I don't know the standing on my heart. In many ways, it's actually pretty simple of your tongue is a direct diagnostic tool of what's in your heart. And so what's pouring out of your tongue is actually like a really useful lagging indicator of, man, I need to be conscious of, what I'm pouring in through my ears and through my eyes into my heart that it might be renewed by Christ, like practically even today in a fresh way.

Yeah, in a big practical way is just to do what the men in the Bible have done regarding the usage of their tongue, right? That's prayer. So like if it's God's power that changes our hearts, then we have to pray that he would transform our hearts and as a result transform our tongues. David says in Psalm 1914, let the words of my mouth. Okay, and then he says, and the meditation of my heart, knowing that that's a reflection, be acceptable in your sight, oh, Lord, my rock, and my redeemer.

Psalm 141, verse 3, set a guard, oh, Lord, over my mouth, keep watch over the door of my lips. I mean, you can write it down, pray that prayer. People sometimes ask how to pray. Well, you just pray the prayers in the scripture. You can pray, God, set a guard over my mouth. Keep watch over the door of my lips. Psalm 19, let the words in my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your side. God, I know you care about the way I employ my tongue.

So let it be honoring to you. Would it not be any sort of unwholesome speech? Would it give grace to those who hear? Would it edify? Would it be according to the need of the moment? Would it be truth that honors you? And would it be grateful praise in a way where people around me know that you've changed me and saved me? And I trust in them submitting to your sovereignty.

All of those things, I think sometimes, you know, James says we have not because we ask not. This is a prayer God will answer. God transform my heart so that what comes out of my heart, you know, through my lips would be honoring. Well, this has been a super helpful personally convicting couple episodes to me, so I appreciate taking the time to unpack it with us, Johnny. Yeah, thanks, bro.