Dice Shame - 113 | 'Hang in the Balance'

Episode Date: December 9, 2021

On the way to the next spirit mound the party remembers a very important holiday... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Morning, Doran, you're up early. It's winter solstice. It's time to give a sacrifice. Maybe I should get a nap before this evening then. Ah, well, I mean, we tried. I was up very early. Not that my God's better than your God or anything. Thank you, Shia.

Doran, shut up, shut up. The officers in our battalions would exchange these. We have to fix it. I get this is important to you. What wins a snow slifts? I assume that's why you're up all night. Kralath would know what a sepulker is. Yes, and so would Doren.

But Justin. But the audience, for the sake of the audience, really. Welcome back to Diteshame, episode 113, hang in the balance. MVP this week goes to Gobi, who's catching up on our backlog and has just joined us on Discord. Thanks for hanging out with us, Gobi. If you want to connect with us on social media, you can find all. the links at www. Dyshaempodcast.com, or

hell, email us at Dyshame at gml.com. Who emails anymore? Looking for more horror podcasts, Rapture 518 is a psychological horror audio drama produced in Canada. Dr. Sarah Penn is a resident physician, but she's not been to work in a few weeks. Part of this is because of an imperative need

to move from a rental house. Part of this is not yet known. And part of this is because of the unpredictable outbreak that's turned mild, mannered pedestrians into flesh-eating sociopaths. What? While the show is currently on a mini break, you can check out new episodes of its mini show within a show called Found Recordings.

That feature me. That's right. Go check out Rapture 518 at red circle.com slash shows slash rapture 518. It's a lot of fun. Yeah, check it out. All right. Shall we do this? Let's do it.

Ow! So every night when we put Henry down to sleep, he has this thing where he wants us all to tell each other jokes. Oh. He always wants to go first. I mean, he's very much like all go first. Well, we say who do you want to tell the joke of the night? And he always says, everyone. And Henry's four years old.

The shit he comes up with as a joke. What did he say tonight? It was like, why did the lamp cross the sky? Yeah. Because I thought it was a human. No, tonight's joke was, why did the school bus have skeleton arms? Why?

And it was like, because the arms were white. Like, it's never anything even resembling. Honestly, he can compete, though. For some reason, this last week or two in our operations meeting at work, they've started them off with, like, somebody giving out a really bad joke. I guess one of the supervisors got like a lame joke book. but then give half the riddle and forget what the rest of it was by the end of it.

And so the last 10 minutes of the meeting is everybody trying to remember like, what's the riddle that we asked at the start of this thing to figure out? And I'm like, can this be over now? You know, it sounds like I'm running your meetings. Yeah. That's an Alex joke slash story slash riddle. That starts off strong. But we all get to go through it at least.

It's nice because then when I do a joke or Joe and I do a joke, at least we try. They're good by comparison. Oh, they're great by comparison. It's like, oh, you know, what's a ghost's favorite fruit? A boo-berry. And, you know, sometimes we're taking a while to think. But we're thinking of them. That joke can be reworked for an 18-plus crowd.

It can't boobes-berry. Is that it? Is that what you were thinking? Yeah. Boob-Berry? Yeah. I like it. Okay.

It's more like PG-13. Yeah, it's pretty, it's like, it's like, that's rated R. The best reaction to Eddie joke is that's funny. with someone actually saying That's funny That's funny That's so funny

That's funny That's funny So my fake laugh comes out So I want to hear Your best on the spot jokes Right now That you have invented Okay

Oh my God Anyone who has one can go Oh But you must invent it Okay Okay right on the spot Yeah Why do calendars have 12 months

Why Why? Why? Because 13 would just be unlucky. I'm not bad. Like on the spot.

That's good. That's a bad improv joke. I like it. Anyone else? Why do you put ice in your alcoholic drinks? Why? So you have someone to waste away with.

Oh, that's not one you made up. That's not one you made up. That's very sad. There's no way. Literally. on the spot. Well, that was, I am impressed. That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Yeah. I'm watching my ice melt. Alex, can you make one up for me too? Yeah, that was a good one. I got to give that to you. Why do you drink beer out of a can? Why? Why? Because you can.

See, with Alex, with Alex, with Alex, I see Alex's use now. I'm laughing at the set up. I don't care about the punchline anymore. There was also an enthusiasm. You can watch him discover the punchline. Because I think we've established Alex is great at the setup. So when the punchline is irrelevant, Alex is the king of building

up to nothing. And that's sort of the essence of a joke. So it's an enviable skill. It is. An enviable skill. Do you have one? Harlan? Is this a Guthrie trait? When you're put on the spot, you never can. But it's like... Yeah, no. Well, actually, that's not true. You just did it. You pulled out three.

What is the worst joke that's ever been told? What? This one. Actually, it fills up. I was trying to think of like a D&D-related one. Oh, that's good. I like that. Yeah, like, like, uh, what's a beholder's favorite game?

What? I spy. Yeah, that's good. That's good. Um, what do you call a, a D&D marathon? A fay run. Oh, no. That's good.

Not bad. I laughed and it wasn't entirely fake. Why did the bard miss the battle? Oh, why? Why? Because he had no initiative. Oh. Where do attitude-ridden drow come from?

Where? Where? The undersnark. Very good. I like that's good. Yeah, me too. What was the sorcerer's favorite fish? What?

Eldridge bass. That's good. I like that. Except that's a warlock. Fuck. What do you call? Yeah, that's okay. It's good, it's good.

That's the real punchline. What is a ranger's favorite bourbon? Oh, what? I don't know. Hunter's Mark. Oh. Right? Very clever.

That's good. I like the ones about the different classes. Yeah, that's what I was trying to lean into that now. That's good. Why is a rogue's best subject math? Why? Why? Because they're so good at cunning fractions.

Cunning fractions. That's good. Very good, actually. I like it. I thought you were going to say, because they have to add up all of those D6s. That was punny. Why do dwarves constantly feel like they don't have the same?

Wait, hold on. Let me think about the word. Concise. Now we're editing as you go. It's okay. It's good. Workshoping it. What is a fighter roll when he doesn't feel up to snuff?

inferiority dice I was trying I know I was like superiority The setup could be better But I think the punchline is solid I need a better set up I have a good punchline

But I'm going for the setup What is the Oh shit I think I'm going to have to write this down Hold on Okay I got it I got it Where is the best place to go on holiday year round?

Where's that? Where? Never winter. Nah, that's a good one. That's a good one. I mean, Jack would disagree. It's going to be water deep every time. Which class makes the best drinks?

Which? The barbarian. Why? Oh, the barbary. The bar. You have to say it like this. The bar. I mean, and raise your eyebrows up like four inches.

Look how smart I am. Why does everyone hate playing the Druid class? Why? They could be a real monster to play. That's good. What is the tooth golem's favorite activity? What the hell's a tooth goal? Brushing its teeth.

Oh, my God. I think that's the lowest. I think we hit the bottom on this thing. Good to know there's a bottom here. The next monster, you're fighting is a tooth golem. Called it. Oh, oh, actually, I'll put it a better way. What weapon...

You're going to tell the same dumb job again? What's the best weapon to face a tooth golem? What? A toothbrush. Good one. What kills a tooth golem faster than any adventurer? Gingervitis. No, that would be a gum golemen.

What do you get for killing a tooth golem? A nice plaque. Oh! No, that's a joke. We waited a long time for it, but Rob came through in the end. He did. Did you look that one up? Nope.

Okay. I've been working on one that ends in Nome Word Bound, but I couldn't get there. Nope. Close tab, close tab, close tab. Where would you ever find these jokes? We're in the world when someone looks at this up. He's furiously Googling jokes about a toothed. Gollum

Tooth Gollumfunnies.net.org. Just out of curiosity, jokes about a tooth golem. Let's just see. 65 tooth jokes that'll make you laugh out loud. I guess you could just append Golem to the end of them and it would work out well. Just for curiosity's sake, Rob, go ahead and do that for us. What do you call a tooth golem in a glass? A one molar solution

Oh fuck it was That's not good Why did the mind flare Get arrested Because he had illicit drugs He got it I have googled Illicit

To try to figure out how Illithid can work Literally I can sleep share right now I can do You got me too Look hold on I'm gonna do it

It's so good I was like What do I use Elicit as a lithid That's hilarious I got it right here I was like... Drugs.

Wow, my God. Yeah, okay. We got to the same place. That's hilarious. You and I. Which means we're at the bottom of the world. Save us. Save us.

Joking around. Should we play some D&D? Yes. Finally, get us stop this dad, bad dad jokes. Jorking around. Like a fork. What the fuck? Orking around.

It's one of those jokes ready written and said. Orking around. At the bottom of the tower. Tower. Whatever. B-y-orke. Borking around. That's a good one.

What is an orc's favorite artist? Biork. Just encourages them to be themselves. So you guys are aboard the airship, and I believe it's a special day today. It's the 20th of Nytol, the winter solstice. And maybe you wake up bright and early, remembering that this is a special holiday.

I don't think Red would know it's a special holiday. holiday. So he is on the arms of an angel. He's in the sleep-in camp. Yeah. I feel like Doren would have woken up early. Early, as in real early. Early enough to see the stars

and watch the sunrise on the winter solstice. And he's standing on the deck. He's bundled up. And he's looking out east or west. Which way to the sunrise? East. He's standing on the east side

of the deck bundled up the wind blowing and he's looking out remembering all of his past and doing a good hard deep look into life and his soul adorable little gnarled hands I was just going to say this is the pun episode adorable his little gnarled hands holding the edge of the railing of the deck just looking up at the star You're traveling over forest and plain. There are a couple rivers that occasionally stripe the land underneath you and a few civilizations on the horizon sometimes lighting up the sky or belching smoke. But usually it feels very solitary.

There could be flocks of birds, but largely you are alone in the sky. Jack's stayed up late. He's still sort of down sitting by off. fired frantically doing like his best calligraphy on on these scrolls to to get ready for the celebration this this evening you're sending out Christmas cards I mean he's making he's making fancy presents for the for the fellows on board but they're they're sketched onto these like lovely pieces of parchment paper the best he's got in stock and getting ready for this season that's very sweet oddly so it could be awkward to be giving presents to someone who doesn't realize that

they should be giving you presents back. Yeah, Jack, how dare you? No, no, is this a standard custom, or is this something that's pretty specific to, like, Waterdeep or even Jack's family? I mean, the Winter Solstice is celebrated differently everywhere all over the place. One of the Water Davian traditions, you know, the great traditions, as I like to call them, is this celebration of Simril, which is, you know, drinking and laughing and trying to stay up all night and find your lucky star.

And so Jack's been up all night doing his best approximation to drop star charts that would just show these folks. You could consider this your lucky star. And if you see it tonight, you know, maybe good fortunes in your future. And so he's trying to get all these things ready just so nobody's lost when we're sitting up there looking at the stars tonight. Everybody's sort of at least got something to start with. Oh, that's nice. So you're still up from the night before. Yeah.

Doran goes back in. Oh, I didn't realize your bedtime, Dorn? Well, no, I was up early and Oh, and Jack just sort of like suddenly tunes into himself And realizes he's been up all night His keen sense of time connecting it Oh, maybe I should get a nap before this evening then Well, yeah, you were reading, I didn't want to disturb you

But, you know, I was up there looking at the stars And thinking about life and family And, you know, it's winter solstice I assume that's why you're up all night I think I heard about you elves staying up all night, yeah I think it's something you guys like to do They do say that about elves Just a half elf though

So every once in a while I catch a quick wink Yeah Yeah Is winter solstice a big deal In the Grey Peak Mountains where you're from? Oh yeah I mean You know us dwarfs

We're constantly looking for any reason To get drunk and have a party I mean let's be honest here But it brings back memories Of family and friends And companions And yeah you know, friends and people have lost and, yeah, companions and companions and friends and

companions. Yeah, I, but, uh, you know, I, it's especially so on the winter solstice, you know, it's the longest night of the year, you know? You know, it's, it's the only day I ever wish for cloudy weather, because if you can find your lucky star through that overclass sky, it's a blessing from Timora. Is it? That's what they say. Well, I did see a couple of bright stars. I'm not sure if they were my lucky star though Oh don't worry I got a chart I can help you look And like Jack takes a minute to like spread out the paper And find the one that's Doran's and sort of chart

Here's what the sky would have looked like at this time in your life And one of these is your lucky star So you just get to decide and then it it's a whole And I think halfway through explaining to Doran Something you know that the star church really excitingly Jack realizes his his words are starting to slur a little bit And it's like I'm gonna have a nap Yeah uh you you're fading pretty quickly

there. Happy winter solstice, Doran. And Jack sort of gives your shoulder a squeeze and heads towards the hammocks somewhere in the next rungover. That's nice. The shifts are starting to change aboard the airship. So half of the cultists are heading down below decks to go to sleep and the other half of them are being roused and heading to their posts by the furnace or by the bellows. I think Red walks out of his room. Morning Doran, you're up early. Oh, yeah, well, you know, it's winter solstice, so I was up very early. Good for you.

Yeah. Oh, that's wonderful. I love when you do things. Oh, was that today? And Kralath leans out, and he's wearing a little nightcap. Oh, hi, Krayloth. And says, oh, I completely forgot. My goodness, time just flies.

Give me one minute. and he goes back into his room. Sure. Oh, is this supposed to be a thing? What the hell is Winstah snow? What'd you call it? Winter solstice. What's Winds a snow slifts?

Well, winter solstice is the longest night of the year. Yeah, that's one. You Tabaxi did. Did I sleep through it? No. And as he's saying this, he's kind of putting a pot of water onto the hot part of the stove to make some tea. I guess we're far enough, Norris.

The days might be really, really short here. Yeah, it's probably like, you know, 7.30, 8 in the morning already. Well, what is Kranth getting? Should I do something? Is there something important? Should I get him a snowsnist or whatever you called it? And Doreen just kind of looks at it, and he says, Nope, nope, nope, all right.

It's really just another day. I mean, you know, some cultures celebrated with a feast or get together. I could tell you that if I was home right now, would be celebrating and all festivities into the wee hours of the morning. Man, that would be... Are you missing home, buddy? Oh, yes and no. You know, there's no reason we couldn't swing by the Grey Peak Mountains at some point.

Maybe say hi. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Well, I just mean, look, you and I have grown with friends now. I would call you my brother. I'd love to meet the other little... Of course, of course. ...during friends and family and stuff, you know? Maybe it's time.

I mean, I don't have anybody. Jack, you know, I know his mother somewhere near her. It might be nice to meet her at some point, too, but I would love to get to know everybody. And Doran puts his hand on your shoulder, and he just looks at you in the eye, and he says, no. Okay. No. And it's at that point that Kralath's door opens again. He walks into the room, and he's carrying a little satchel, a bundle of fabric.

And he says, okay, everybody gather around. This day is very important. And he's kind of all business, but also kind of serious. There's a gravitas to him. I'll go get Jack. Jack's head just gets his hammock and then Kralik calls to everybody. I feel like Red knocks on the door and like opens it as he's knocking to get Jack. And sees Jack mid getting into hammock.

Jack's just putting his sleep mask down over his eyes. His sleep apnea machine. He's got a medieval sleep apnea machine. Oh, yeah. It's an air elemental. It's all good. I got Kieran to run interference. I think you open the door

and you get pounced by the most adorable golden retriever in the world. Oh, sorry, Jack. I just, I forgot. Sorry. And I nervously looked back to the others. I think he was in his nighty.

I didn't mean to. Sorry, Jack. I mean, sorry, Jack. It's okay. It's Winston Snowflist. It's the one. Dorn could easily have jumped in here and said, you know,

Jack just went to bed, but he doesn't. Sure, Dorn doesn't give a shit. So, Kralath, You call everyone together. The sun is just starting to rise. Once everyone's gathered around, Kralath kneels down in front of a barrel and begins to unfurl this sheet. And he says the solstice is a very important time where I come from. We treat it as a time to not necessarily celebrate as I've seen other cultures do, but to give thanks.

for being carried through to this moment. We all know that there could have been many times where our lives could have ended. And for whatever reason, Kallimvore has deemed that we were deserving of staying on this side of the balance. And so it is time to give a sacrifice, a gift of thanks to,

to Columvor for keeping us on this side. Hell yeah, friend, I'm totally in for that. Let me go check something. And Red runs back to his room. Doran kind of speaks up and says, Well, you know, I'd be happy to sacrifice something myself. And he retrieves his sharp dagger from the back of his bell and slices his hand open.

Oh. And then grabs the end of his beard and slices a chunk. you say the last six to eight inches of his beard off in his grasp and you watch him as he ties this sort of bloody piece of beard into a knot and as he places it onto your towel that you've got spread out it's actually like a very ornately done like it's not it doesn't even look sloppy in the sense like it's it's a tightly bound piece of bloody dwarf beard hair and he places it down and he says, where I come from, the officers in our battalions would exchange these as almost a form of payment. If I said to my officer over there that I owed him one,

this is what we'd give them. And he sets it down. Thank you, Dora. I think Red comes back at this point, sort of jogging out of his room. He's like, yeah, and Redd sort of extends over top of the satchel, Shale. And he's like holding Shale at arm's length, as if he's going to put him on the cloth. No, no, no, that's a bit, much of a sacrifice, I would say. And you see in Shail's little claw, he's holding the piece of cloud that Red took.

And like a little infant wood, he sort of lets go of it. And Red's like, okay, drop it, drop it. And Shale puts the piece of cloud that he's carried with him since we first met the Cloud Giant forever ago, and then brings back Shale into his arms and he's like, Shale wanted to be involved and I didn't want him to sacrifice anything of his own. That is highly appropriate. Thank you, Red. Thank you, Shale. And thank you, Doreen.

Jack reaches into his pouch and pulls out a ring of keys. It's the ring of keys that he got from the bandit captain this moment when he was alone and closest to death. One of the moments he was closest to death in this last. year and he puts the the ring of keys down and doesn't say much but certainly contemplates being able to make the sacrifice with the friends who saved his life in a place that's real important to him, the copper cup where his partner Torrin lives. So he sort of looks real respectfully at the offerings in front of him and steps away. Kralov nods respectfully and then he reaches forward and grabs a bundle of cloth that was in this sheet and he unfolds it and it's an apron and he says you've all done a wonderful job expressing why these items are significant to you and now I'll do the same this apron I've had

for very very long time ever since I went on my first expedition actually and as you can see and he shows just the front of it is covered in stains it might be time for a new one But this apron has helped me create some of the best food I've ever made and helped me fill the bellies of those that I love. So this is important to me. And I thank you, Apron, for protecting my good clothes. And he places it on this sheet. I've literally never seen him wear that.

I'm just joking. All right. Well, we have all of the sacrifices. Was there anything else? What do we do now? We give them all back. Oh, we switch? Do I get Dorn's bloodbair? No, no. It doesn't work exactly like that. And Kralath begins to fold up the sheet. And then he ties a knot around the top and says, you can follow me if you like. As far as the giving goes, you've done your part and you've made your sacrifice. and hopefully Cullenvor will bless us with another season of life on this side of the balance. So Crayloff takes this bundle of items and he begins to move towards the upper decks. Doran hurriedly pours a cup of tea and follows up.

I need my tea. Red put Shale back in the room and follows as well. Did you make enough tea for everybody, Doren? I did, actually. There's a whole pot right here and he's carrying it with him in a little car. This week this morning. I think Red hangs back with Doran, and he says, Yeah, bring a cup if you want some tea, and he's carrying it up the stairs.

Hey, look, Doran, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, by the way, about asking about your family. Sorry if I overstepped, you know me, I always seem to step in it. Dorn just looks at Red and continues, it's fine, you didn't say anything bad, you're fine. I just wanted to say, I'm sorry, I'm, you know, well, I, I, you seem to get really, you know, hard-nosed about it. You shut me down hard, and I just wanted to make sure that was no hard feelings. No, no, of course not. So you head up onto the deck and the wind whips your cloaks. It's a cold morning and the sun is just dawning, lighting the sky and reds and oranges.

It's beautiful. It really is. I guess it really is a special day, Jack. It seems like the sky is welcoming us. You know, it almost looks like the sky is on fire. So Kralov takes this bag and he goes to the railing. he holds it over, and a thought occurs to him, and he turns back to Jack, and he says, Hey, Jack, tradition would have it that we would burn these items.

We do have a fire elemental downstairs that we could use to do this, but I'm wondering if we could do this in a way that maybe is less risky and maybe even more entertaining. Are you going to skeet shoot these? I'd love to participate, however Kellenvore thinks would be best, Kralath. Hey, me too, Bunny, if there's a way then. Yeah. You know, he can fire up my arrow and I can shoot it as you throw it overboard. Include me in any way you need.

Oh, yeah, that's a great idea. Yeah, or I could chop it in half. You know, we could do that too. Yeah, well, we have two parts to throw. I do like this idea of a flaming arrow. Jack, would you be able to set flame to Red's arrow? Why don't we do this? If you toss it on three, I'll light Doran's crossbow bolt and Red's arrow on fire at the same time,

and the flaming bolts and arrows can hit the offering if they're good enough shots. Excellent. Oh, that's even better idea. If they're good enough shots, you fuck. All right. Doran runs downstairs and retrieves his crossbow. All right. Red always has his bow on his back, and he pulls it out as he's sort of like, for the first time,

feels slightly competitive with Doran. Yeah, for the day first time. Two people in the potty shoot arrows now all of a sudden. Kralath, what are you going to throw first? Kralath has the whole bundle of all of the sacrifices in his hands. And he makes to throw it doing this swinging gesture. And with a bit of a smirk on his face, he says, on the count of three, everyone, one, two, three.

And he launches it into the sky over the deck. And Jack snaps his fingers just as Doran and Red fired so that their ammunition lights a flame. Roll a hit, boys. Oh, that's a three. Oh, no. And mine's also a three. Oh, no. The arrows fly wide.

And the bag of your offerings falls out of sight. I feel like Red's just frozen. He's like, I hit it, right? I hit it. I feel like I hit it, right? I feel like I hit it too. You definitely didn't hit it.

Red runs to the edge and like hops up on the railing, holding on to one of the ropes that attach to the mast and he like leans over a little bit. As you look down over the side, you see that you are passing over a large mountain range. Now that it's bright outside, you can see that in the night you've come quite a ways. You see that the parcel of all of your offerings has fallen.

It's almost too small to see now. We like all rush to the edge. Doran, you recognize this mountain range. This is none other than the home of Mithril Hall. Oh. You know that Mithril Hall is a almost mythic dwarven stronghold. You've never been, but you've received many military missives from this stronghold. Hold on a second, Doran says as he leans over the side.

Even though you've never been here, you've seen it depicted so many times in paintings, on parchment, in frescoes, on walls, in temples, all of these different mountain ranges in Ferroon that even though you've never been here before you know it immediately. Ah, well, I mean We tried Shall we go out of breakfast And Red hops down And starts walking towards the lower deck Wait, no, wait What

You missed it You missed it Yeah, it happens I mean, I'm not perfect shot I try, but you know I'm in most of the time I swear I hit it still This was a bad idea

I got carried up in the moment And uh Oh dear This is not good. Kralath. Oh. We could go down for it.

That's Mithril Hall down there. Don't you understand? Look down there. Look! And he grabs like the back of Jack's jacket. He forces him to the edge and almost pushes him not quite over, but to look. Dorian, Dorian, Dorian, I get this is important to you, but there's a, there's another important thing happening to.

We're not going far. Tell me. Tell me, you don't recognize. that? It looks like Mithril Hall? What the hell's Mithra Hall? I don't understand what's going on. Who cares? We threw the things over? We threw things over. What's the problem? Red, this is important.

If we do not burn this offering, it is a bad omen. We have to take care of this. We have to go down. We are not going to Mithril Hall. I made a horrible, horrible mistake doing it this way. But we have to fix it before Kellenvore realizes what we've done.

Otherwise, we will be on the other side of the balance, and I do not want any of us to be there. Do you understand? Buddy, okay, of course. We've got a whole day. I wouldn't say anything otherwise. And we've got a powerful suite of magical instruments at our hand. I'll go tell them to lower the ship right now.

We'll go find it. We're not far. It couldn't have gone far. Thank you, Jack. Thank you. And I'm sorry for raising my voice. You know I don't like to do this, but this is of vital importance to our spiritual well-being,

and I would like to take care of it as soon as we possibly can. Sure, but, of course. Look, you know I'm with you every step of the way. No problem. Thank you, Red. Doran's, like, running back and forth. He's unsure where to put his attention on things. All right, Doran, just do it.

But we can get the package. Doran, shut up, shut up. Listen, Craylott's obviously having a moment right now. Just put that on the back burner. We get down there and everything goes fine, and yeah, sure, maybe we can visit me through a hole. But you need to take it down and not. You don't understand. I just told you I wanted to see your Dwarven Roots.

But you don't understand. Well, obviously, I don't. I know where the package is. It has fallen onto these mountains. These mountains are like a second home to me. We will find the package. Okay. I'm not concerned about it.

We will do that. Well, do me a favor. Take it down a couple hundred notches and tell Kralath that we're going to find it. But in a much calmer, more place. placid tone. Jesus, Jack! And I turn to Jack. What the fuck's going on? I feel like we'd lost the plot all of a sudden. Sometimes there's quests that take you a little bit to the side, but you've just got to trust that it's part of our path. This is important to Kralath. It's a big day spiritually for a lot of people. Let's help him complete this quest. All right. I'll help you

turn off the boat, and I follow Jack. Doren looks out over the side, and then he turns back to Kralath and he says, you know what, buddy? I'm sorry that we missed it, but you couldn't have dropped your package on a better place. I mean, it's Mithril Hall. We're going to find your package. There's no doubt, in my mind. I appreciate your optimism. If you don't mind, I'm going to go below decks.

And you see Kralath slide his ring off his finger and absent-mindedly tuck it into his pocket. as he makes his way below deck. Interesting. Interesting. So the airship descends from the sky and the ladders unroll and you descend onto the snowy mountainside of the frost hills.

All right, look, this is easy. Doran, you know this place like the back of your hand. You said you know where these would be. Worst case scenario, we can always locate object. We know a number of the things in that bag. Look, this is fine, everyone. Let's just take a few minutes, compose ourselves. Okay.

And go about this with level heads. Remember, this is still area touched by the Shadowfell. We don't know exactly what we're getting into. I think you've got a good idea, Red, the Locate Object spell. I didn't prepare it personally myself today, but we do have the Rod of the Von and Todd. I'm still attuned to it, actually. By chance, did anyone put anything Adamantine in there? No.

No. All right, then. So the airship ascends and leaves you alone, takes off, and soon is gone over the horizon. There you are standing in the crisp snow. It's on quite a slope. You are on a legit mountainside. There's a dotting of evergreen trees here and there, and an eagle soars above you. All right, well, let's locate Doran's beard hair.

That should be easy enough to find. We have some of it here anyway. How far is the distance? The rods range, because there's nothing Adamantian in there, will be a thousand feet. Let's give it a shot just to see how close we got them to land, and Jack grabs the rod of the Von and Dodd and sort of stands it tuning fork side down because it's this giant-sized 100-pound metal tuning fork, and he channels a little bit of magic into it and really pings and rumbles,

and he gets this sense of feedback from the ground around him, looking for Dorn's bloody beard hairs. you do get a ping jack i've got something oh okay all right how do we tell where it is what am i feeling joe it's actually fairly close by oh nice you ascertain the direction and the approximate distance and you lead the party and you're traveling kind of laterally along this steep slope and then you come to a ravine and down this ravine you see a number of stone sepulchres. Oh. Some stone sepulchres, guys. Maybe let's take it a little chill here,

and red sort of slows down to just a trot. Kralath would know what a sepulchre is. Yes, and so would Doren. But Justin. But the audience, for the sake of the audience, really. I mean, Doren absolutely would, and so would Kralath, because these are Dwarven, Graves. Oh, so does Alex and Justin, but I mean, the audience, please. Crips and the like.

Dwarven architecture. Right. Does it ring familiar to the other set of dwarven graves we were in where we found the axe? Similar. It's a different era. So these graves are far fresher, although weathered by wind and rain, the architecture is more modern. Let's just all take it easy here. I'm not sure what kind of bad omen your god had in store for us, Kralath, but I'm starting to think you might be right. Red says as he scans these bizarre-looking stone edifices.

Jack's almost giddy getting to contrast old Dwarven Grave architecture to new Dwarven Grave architecture. And so it's like almost, this happened as the sun was rising. Maybe it's a sign from Lathander that led us here. Very quietly thinking to himself. Not that my God's better than your God or anything, but... Jesus Christ. As you descend down into this ravine, there's a flock of crows that is gathered here

atop these sepulchres. And as you make your way towards the graveyard, they take flight, cawing. Okay, how close are we, Jack? Jack reaches for the rod of the Von and Dodd and sets it up again on the ground. and uses another charge to ping the location of this device just to sort of zero in one time a little closer.

You assess that the beard hair that's come from Doran Iron Fist is located about 20 feet to your northwest. It's right over there, Red, right? Just to your left. All right. Red's drawn his bow at this point. He's sort of knocked an arrow, and he's holding it down towards the ground ready

as he moves slowly in that direction. You round the corner of a taller grave and come face to face with a tombstone atop which a crow sits unafraid. It's just staring at you and it cause. I don't see the bag, Jack. The rod's saying it's right, you must be missing something. The crow gazes at you for another minute, its jewel, bright eyes flashing, and then it takes flight. Something seems off.

here the air is still shouldn't be like this red says nervously looking around does doran recognize these sepulchres great question doran as you approach this grave you recognize the name on the tomb orniate gravel breaker a gravel breaker i knew one of them yes you did this was someone who you knew well you said that You gave hanks of your dwarven beard hair to your brothers at arms. Yeah. Long ago, you fought alongside someone by this name. This is, this is, I didn't even, I didn't even know that, what, what, what's wrong, Doran? What, what are you talking about?

I battled alongside Orniet Gravel Breaker. He's buried here. remember you know that you know the piece of of hair and blood that we're trying to burn and find well i've got a piece of ornets you know at at at home you must have meant a lot for him to be buried with it well we were very close companions you don't normally become that close with with your comrades but He was like a brother to me. I didn't even know that he died, let alone that I realized that he was buried here. I can't believe it, that the aunt's and red sort of just looks almost confused at Kralath. Kralath has an unreadable expression, just completely blank. Behind you, Kralath, the gray skies grow more overcast, dark clouds.

gather on the horizon. You hear the rumble of thunder. Okay, um, we have to keep moving. I'm sorry, Doren. Um, there will be time to mourn your friend.

Well, hold on Kralath, and I walk over to Kralath in a hushed tone. Look, you tossed that bag off and out of all of the places in Fayrune that we pinged an item in that bag, we were led here.

Surely you must, at least think there's a possibility that Kalimvo wanted us to be here. Think about it. And Red sort of looks longingly back at Dorn. His bloodied hand sitting on top of the grave, allowing his blood to touch the tombstone. Surely your captain must be weighing in on this?

What does he think? And Red sort of looks off to one side, blankly expecting Kralath to look there in a moment. The captain knows that this is of utmost importance that we do find this and burn it Doran needs us As he turned back

Doran is mumbling under his breath and you can sort of hear him say Oh what happened to you Ornian You were You were my best friend I wish I had seen you in your last days But

Look I've got new friends here And he shakes his head and he says loud enough for everybody to hear now and he almost says it towards the companions and not towards the tomb and he says no

no I'm lying I knew that he died because I had a hand in his death when we were in Jalithar that damn chaos hammer he blackmailed me.

I've been fearing, telling you this, but maybe this is fate that we've landed here at this very moment. We were running from orcs, and yeah, they had us on the go, but it was my call, and it was my reason that Danlin's peak split. It was my call.

And it fell on my companions. It's killing everybody. All of them. You know, it's sad and it's embarrassing. And he turns back to the gravestone. He says, you're my brother. And I failed you. I failed all of you.

But I'm not going to do that with these guys. I remember you all. Joffron. Grederumi, Dreyschalk, Redress. Burfrin, Gordrick, Davrith, Grunmock, Cidurin, Krognik, and you. I'm not, I'm not ever going to forget you. And Doren looks as though he's about to say

something else, but he stops himself. Look, let's find this package. He kind of hangs his head low and he starts to walk down the ravine. I think Red 2 the whole time is just looking down at his feet. Kralath, a bit taken aback by this whole story, watches Doren walk away. And there's surprise on his face and new depths of understanding as to who this companion is. And after a brief moment of introspection, Kralath shoulders the rod of the Vannad and follows

closely in Doren's footsteps. Doren, inspiration. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. Congratulations. I feel like as Red looks up again towards Jack, he says, he did mention blackmail, right? We'll have time on the rest of the flight to do a bit of a war council. I think this is certainly something we're going to have to consider. Your gut feel about Chaos Hammer, sounds like it might have been a pretty good one.

Yeah, I hate when my guts right. Better than the feeling we'll eat those berries, I guess. Hey, did you want some, by the way? And Red grabbed some from his pack. as he and Jack walk out of the scene. With the use of the rod of the Von and Dodd, after a couple more attempts, you manage to get a second ping

further on down the mountain side. And after clambering down a gravelly slope, maybe someone gets a bloody knee, you find the package wedged between two slabs of rock, almost like being presented to you. Oh Oh, praise the balance And thunder rumbles in the distance

Almost an answer to you Kralath takes a couple of eager steps forward And stops at the sound of thunder Kralov cocks his head And begins to stalk towards the package Kralath as you reach for the package You are interrupted by a voice from the trees Hold there

and out from the copse of trees troops a small battalion of dwarves clad in armor carrying pole arms What brings you to the Frost Pass? We came to pick up a package that is ours and we have to do away with. The patrol of dwarves is continuing to advance on your party slowly.

curious about your intentions. Certainly, you wouldn't mind us just taking a quick look at it to verify its contents before. Do not touch the package. Excuse me? I think Red knocks an arrow and, like, aims it as well

in support of Kralath. You are getting between a man and his god. Jack, if they try to take the bag, be ready. Understood. I feel like in full view of everything, Doren sees you knock an arrow and grabs your hand

and tries to pull it down so you're not aiming an arrow at them. Yeah, Red sort of lowers his bow, sort of conflicted between his friend Kralath and his friend Dorn. And two of the dwarves are exchanging quiet words with each other. It seems like arguing. Look, we just want our stuff and we want to leave. I'm sure you know it's the winter solstice. It's a holy day for everyone.

A right to Kellenvore resulted in a bad omen this morning. Please just let us finish this work. it'll take us mere moments. One of the dwarves is like four strangers on the mountain with a mysterious package looking to destroy it. I have to admit, the life of an adventurer has led us to some bizarre places I never expected to find us in. We'll have to inform the monarchy of this.

And your name, sir? Jack Page of the Nightstone Four. It will be noted. Thank you. Oh, thank Morad. And your name, Tabaxi. Red-handed Robin. And this is my friend Kralov.

We don't want any trouble. Is there a dwarf behind you there? And Red sort of steps aside. And what is your name right? The name's Iron Fist. Is that so? He nods. Well, the Knight's Stone Four.

I suggest you get to burning your parcel and getting the hell off our mountain. Gingerly, Krayloff kneels down, reaches forward, picks up the parcel, and it's come loose a little bit, and he tightens it again, making sure that nothing can fall out, and he tucks it under his arm and backs up next to Jack and says, we thank you for your understanding on this day, and may Kalimvor keep you on the light side of the balance. Yes, sir. Good evening, jents. Enjoy your celebration. sort of says backing up his bow's still down the arrow loose now but still nervous to protect his friend and as you turn to head back to your meeting place with the airship you hear the raised

voice of one of the dwarves i'll see you soon dorin the airship hoves into view at your smoke signals derived from burning this package the four of you you gathered around its heat and light and arid smoke, and the ladders drop beside you. Well, I feel one heck of a lot better. Hey, look, we got a bit of a blue spot in the sky. The clouds are starting to clear up, isn't that nice? Yeah, it seems real nice, Krayloff.

Everything's going to be all right. Thank you guys for indulging me on this little side trip. Oh. Oh, I thought Kulimvor was going to have my ass. And he slips his ring back on his finger. And with a chuckle, he shakes his head and begins to climb the ladder again. Well, in the longest night of the year, maybe we will see our lucky stars and Jack starts climbing back up. Anything red, one hand on the ladder hangs back with Doran and shares a knowing look.

You only gave them half the truth, Doran. Hey, listen, they only needed to know half the truth. and as the airship ascends into the morning sky we see something strange flapping on the limb of a tree Kralath's dirty apron Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters

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