Dice Shame - 115 | 'A Stone's Throw'

Episode Date: December 23, 2021

As the battle with the stone giants continues the party struggles against the overwhelming odds... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Getting all the bad rules out first, guys, don't worry. He's concentrating so hard to keep Ape Doren as Ape Doren. You have to remind me how to play this game. We're in this together, Doren. I did this all for that pun. Ah, our Boulder. They totally stole it. The social contract is broken.

We are done. Looks like he's going to get one off on us. 18's the number. 18's the number. Cryloff! No! Stupid Scythe! Croaching giant ape-ish Doren?

He stands up fully exposed now. He lost his pants in the accident. I was just wanted to say erect. He's rock hard, as it were. MVP this week is Fred Lazaro for his wonderfully eloquent review. Fred left us some very kind words on iTunes, which was easily the high. highlight of our week. Thank you so much, Fred. It's the holiday season. What better way to celebrate than spreading a little joy and happiness to your favorite podcasts. That's right.

Leave them a review, share a thought, tweet your feelings, or recommend them to a friend. Nothing feels better than a kind word from a fan. All right, shall we do this? Yeah, let's do it. I was just looking at Alex's webcam, and I noticed some color behind his head. Alex. Oh, it's red. Are you sitting in a gaming chair right now? Yeah, do you have a new gaming chair? I am.

Red makes it go faster. I bought a gaming chair. It's got Bluetooth in it. What? In the chair? Does it actually have Bluetooth in it? I swear to God. What for?

For what, though? I could plug it in. To what end? What for? So do you raise it and lower it with an app? I plugged in it. It said something like powering on. It was like yelling.

It's yelling. Yeah, it's yelling at time. Your chairs spoke to you? Yeah. Bluetooth yelling. Okay, so the story is like this. All right. You ready? Here's, here's it going to go from zero to climax and then Cliff ending. I needed a new office chair. My office chair became flat. I bought it like it was supposed to be a nice office chair. I bought it like two years ago, three years ago. It became really flat and it felt like I was sitting on cardboard by the end. Like, it was just so uncomfortable, right? So I'm looking around for office chairs, right? And there was one I was on sale, it was like $80.

I was like, oh, great, out of stock everywhere, right? And I'm sure I did an $80 chair, whatever. So I'm looking, I'm looking. Every single chair that I could find after that was like $200, $300 plus. I'm like, what is going on in this world? Now, I understand that there's things out of stock and everything. Inflation. But for a fucking chair.

Capitalism. You know, like $2,300. Anyways. We need to get into the chair business. really feel else. So we're, you know, I'm looking around, looking around. Then all of a sudden, you know, we get the Canadian tire flyer in the mail. And sure enough, there's this gaming chair that's normally $270. It's on for like $150. So I said, okay. Well, fuck it. I'm buying it because it looks comfortable. You can't find this like plastic leathery stuff unless you go really high end with an office

chair. It has its drawbacks. It's called a rocker. So literally it rocks. That's what you need in an office chair is the ability to recline. Well, you know what? It doesn't like do the true recline where you know how you have a thing on the back and you can recline and it stays there. It doesn't have that. It just rocks. Well, it's not a lazy boy. No.

So, in other words, you didn't like your old chair. You search for a new chair and then you bought this new chair. I found a gaming chair. He prefaced it with this story doesn't climax. No, but he promised that the story would build up before dropping to nothing, not stay burbling the entire time.

What's the feature? Well, the feature is really, like, it's just got speakers built into the heads. Oh, for your, so it will speakers in the chair. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So is it like surround sound then? Like, can you have it through your computer speakers as well as behind you? Well, that's the thing. No.

I mean, you can't unless you buy a splitter. Just yells at you from behind. Yeah. What you can do is plug your phone into it and then have it do like a, like a playlist of someone saying really nice things to you. Just pause. Whispering sweet nothings in your ear all day. You're doing great out.

You're so pretty. Office sounds going on in the background. Well, I'm sitting here at work. Oh, that's the most depressing thing I've ever heard. Office sounds? Wait, what? I'll just have like a water cooler and the other two hanging out over there. You've got office sound ambience coming out of it?

Yeah. Yeah, it's depressing. I mean, it's kind of a strange feature for a gaming chair, though, right? Because I've never once seen a gamer game without headphones. Well, I mean, I think gaming chair in scare quotes because I feel like a lot of the people that make these gaming things, ooh, this is a gaming keyboard and a gaming, don't get me wrong, I love them for certain reasons sometimes. And sometimes they cross that Venn diagram of what you need

and what you want. Yeah. But I do think anyone making chairs over the past 50 years has been like, okay, here's a segment of the market that spends a lot of time in front of their computer. Whether or not we understand that, let's just pitch a gaming chair because that's going to appeal to them. Because that's just makes sense. I will say this though. I will say this because I do do a lot of work in my chair. None of the office chairs I saw had like a back as high as this, right? Like I wasn't looking for a headrest. I didn't need a head rest. Yeah, that back goes all the way up. But you know what? When I, you know anything about Alex, it's how much he likes to be high. When I read it, when I'm reading something, yeah, exactly. Well, when I'm reading something and I sit back, honestly, this is now like

my new favorite chair because I'm sitting here and I mean I'm with you as a tall person I don't get head support very often it feels like I'm on a plane you know I mean planes are well known for their you know the most comfortable place to be what I mean is God I love planes what I mean but if you think about it actually if you think about it if you had if we can all feel like we're on planes I understand what you're saying that planes are uncomfortable but when you really think about it if you took that plane seat out of a plane and put it in your office you've actually got quite a comfortable chair there's so many more comfortable easier chairs that are in your living room i.e. like a recliner to compare it to and also a flotation device. Yeah the the joy of Alex is when he brings these random weird comparisons when there are so many closer at hand you know he's like a plane but you know when you take this subway and you can just get rocked to sleep. Here's a TTC chair. Here's my question for you then you know have you guys ever something that was totally intended for maybe not an entirely different use, but a somewhat different use, but you bought it and used it for your, you know, your own purposes?

That's a good question. That's a good question. That's what I thought. Thank you. You win question of the night. Ding, ding. You win one. Give them a prize.

Pellit. Inspiration. Just an inspiration. Just inspiration. That was right in front of it. Just inspiration. It doesn't work in the game. I was going to say, how does it work, Justin?

One re-roll anytime you're not playing D&D. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, I like that, Rob. You get Just Inspiration, too. Fuck yeah. Yeah, I actually recently bought a bunch of metal clamps, typically for woodworking. Oh, but you're putting them on your body.

Like vice clamps? Yeah, and I put them on my nipples to really teach me a lesson. You need just enough torque. No, because, and Justin will. sort of corroborate this. I will collaborate this. Stop. Collaborate.

Well, sure, if you want. No, but, you know, when you're doing audio work, you know, sometimes you want a quiet closet and I have shelves in the closet. So what I'll do is I'll use them to clamp up blankets. So they're really like, you know, so you can hold a lot of. They're right there. She can corroborate. I'm corroborating.

Yeah, they're right there. But obviously not the intention. In fact, the guy who dropped them off is like, oh, you're going to do woodworking? I was like, no. Just kidding. That's a fake story. No one sees people anymore. Nobody says woodworking.

Yeah. Yeah. But actually, I'd say I do that with stuff pretty often. Like, I'm even looking right now at a small, I think it was originally like a box for buttons. And I took off the sides and I put like RPG artwork. Well, actually it's maps of Cthulhu and I filled it with dice. I don't know. As RPGers, I think we often repurpose things.

Boxes are pretty multipurpose. No, but that's specific. specifically was not intended for what I used it for, which was the question Alex had, was it not? I had a shoebox that I put slippers in. Dice. Well, what I mean to say is if you had a jewelry box and you didn't put jewelry in it, would that not sort of... Yeah, that's fair. I use a cigar box as my jewelry box right now.

There you go. In fact, I think I misspoke. I actually believe that box is a jewelry box originally. I couldn't remember what it was, so I was like... Aha. But I think it's a jewelry box. A button box? I don't know if I've ever seen a box that's specifically for buttons.

I know. I think button boxes are just repurposed boxes. Every other box is a button box at some point. Not a jewelry box, which I've now corrected. That is what it was. And actually, I used for a long time, you know, those really fancy sets of cutlery.

Like, you'll see them, and sometimes they're in these gorgeous rosewood. You open them up, and they're all laid out. I found one in the trash, and I gutted it because the box was gorgeous and repurposed it. So, yes, it was a repurposing of a box, But the intention of it was 100% to, like, how is cutlery, like, in a very presented manner, you know?

Now it uses all RPG documents. Well, now I feel like I have to limit this question a little bit. Other than boxes, what have you used to, like, what do you have? And sometimes I use, see, look at this, look at this right here. Oh, Justin's got a mug and he's using it to hold pants. Well, a mug is just a box without a top. It's a box with a handle. It's a waterproof box with a handle.

Some boxes are waterproof. I think maybe we need to outlock containers at any kind. So when I first moved to Toronto and I had like two bags of stuff, I at one point bought a mattress, but the box spring wouldn't fit down into the crappy basement apartment that I was in. And so I built a box spring out of a door and the cut off pieces out of a desk that were shipping. with it to put the mattress on so that I was off the floor a little bit, but it was still sleeping on a door and a couple of random chunks of wood. And really pathetically slept on that

for way longer than was... For way longer. That's a life hack. I mean, it's not, though. It's not, it's not good to invite someone over and they climb on the bed. I'm like, hey, what's going on with your bed? It's like, actually, it's a door. And this is... What am I doing? That lump in my back. Oh, that's the doorknob. I didn't take it off. I feel really good about this feeling. be repurposed if you're lazy enough. So there's a whole new category because realistically, you could be like, oh, yeah, I use plastic bags of shoes if you're like, you know what I mean?

Like eventually anything becomes what you need it to be if you just want it to. Is it a business card or floss? This backyard is now a graveyard. Well, hold on. But why did you say lazy? Well, I don't think it's lazy. I don't think it has anything near the laziness. I mean, sure, you could.

What I mean to say is like, And I'm not, this is a no way meant to be a comment on, like, Rob, because I'm just commenting on the fact that, like, you could stack books and call that a footstool. You know what I mean? Like, at any point, at what point does anything just become what you want it to be if you have enough of it or try it. When you have imagination. It's like there's a saying about this. Like, necessity is the mother of invention or something. Like, if there was a... Milk cartons are the mother of invention. Necessity is the mother of conventions. Like GenCon? I can corroborate. that story. I can carotid artery. Listen, can you collaborate that story? I can carolid that story. I can cray law at that. It's a very good question. I think the problem is it's one of those questions that sort of the whole idea of it needs limitations because it does become very quickly. And I'm in many

my own faults here very quickly like, yeah, I repurpose. I refill water bottles. You know what I mean? Like sometimes you realize, let's like, okay, well, maybe the question is, have you bought something? How about, have you done it in an interesting way? And maybe just not a boring way and then tell the good stories. Yeah. I didn't really either. No, no one's interesting here. I was out of good stories a hundred episodes ago.

Well, I mean, this wasn't me, but Alex's wife, Karma, bought a Bible for me that she carved out and made a secret book for me. She turned it into a container. She bought it into a container. Which does not hold water. If you are creative enough, you can turn just about anything into a box. That's the real takeaway. Anything's a container.

Human body? Container. Welcome to container class 101, everybody. Old door container. Talk to any stoner, and I can guarantee that they've turned something into a pipe. Into a bong. A bong is just a container for smoke. That's true.

And Alex is sitting on a container for humans. That's right. A chair. Full circle. Whoa. Got us there, around the globe. Should we play some D&D guys? Yes, yeah.

Let's do it. Let's play some D&D. So you've come down from the airship, leaving it a fair distance away in order to approach the burial mound safely. There are a number of stone giants that seem to be destroying it, and while you made a plan to approach cautiously,

we ended last session having heard the stone giants call. They spotted you and are ready to fight red. You are situated far back in the way, woods to the south, overlooking your friends. You are top of the order. What would you like to do? Yeah, I kind of love the idea that as they're crunching through the woods and they look up to see the giant maybe turn his head, but then an arrow just like sink into it, assuming

that I hit. So we'll see what happened. Let me tell you what I want to happen first. Now I'll roll for it. You would be making fun of me for that, Harlan. No, I like it. You should make fun of me. I'm okay with that.

I'm just saying. I'm just saying that if it goes, I love that image. You do it to me, and maybe I'm not so soft. Aw. All right. What? Never mind. So I'll be doing this with sharpshooter penalty.

First attack of this round. There we go. That would be a 23 to hit. Hey-oh. You do hit. Nice. I got your back, though, Rob. We have not done attacking in a while.

No, we haven't. You have to remind me how to play this game. Actually, that's not even a joke. 22 damage. Excellent. For the first hit. So the stone. Giant takes the arrow where?

Right in the upper chest. Stone Giant takes this arrow in the chest and stumbles back, then angrily picks up a boulder, kind of hefts it to figure out how much brute force it needs to put into the throw, and then launches it at you, Doran. Like a shot put? That's about it. Looks like he's going to get one off on us. Be prepared to jump.

That's a 19 to hit you, Doran. That does hit. Damn it. Do we have any cover within the trees here? These are just bare trees. You're probably going to have to say, like, I'm going to hide. It heats me. It heats.

Doran, the boulder flies through the evening air with a whistling sound, and it hits you dealing 22 damage. Oh, God. Make a strength saving throw. I'm not using that fucking dice again. That is going to be a 20, a dirty 20. Great. Yeah. So you take that damage.

And then the stone giant moves. I mean, he's a big giant, so you can see his intention is to take cover. You can still see him pretty good. Yeah. Cronk. Red, what do you do? You see this huge boulder fly out of the sky and nearly flatten your dwarf friend. Yeah, I'm going to pull back and loose another arrow.

Can I see yet if the other joltz? Giants are noticing this? You can definitely spy on the giant that is on the second tier of this island. That's the one that had picked up the boulder and was like, ah, our boulder, they totally stole it. That one is craning his head trying to see what's going on, what's causing, like there was a shout of pain from his friend. What's that raucous? So at least one is becoming aware. Cool.

Yeah, Red will pull back and fire again. That would be a 15 to hit. No. Damn. And I'll fire again, this time with penalty. Nope, that's a two. Not rolling well tonight. Jack, what do you do?

Jack looks over at Doran and says, you ready? Am I ready for what? To pick that boulder up throw it right back at him. Oh, you're going to do it? Let's do it. And Jack pulls out Dezon's wand and points it at Doren and says those arcane words.

And Doren starts to grow and grow and grow until he is giant-sized. Good vocal distortion. Very good. Well, thank you. Then Jack sort of strafes to the west to try and get a little bit of distance, get a little bit closer to see what he can do. It's trying to stay in the trees recover. You're going to take the 30 feet, full 30 feet west? Yeah, like northwestish, somewhere in there.

Cool, cool. And Kieran's sort of sticking by door in to see what he can do to help out. And Azar holds his staff overhead and misty, shimmering gray dust seems to just start to fall out of his staff as he shakes it. And as the dust lands on his shoulders and his earmuffs, He just starts to vanish. He's abandoned us. Run away! Kralath, what do you do?

Kralath is going to step forward, equidistant between Doran and Jack, and still in front, well, actually he doesn't know that he's in front of Andesar. You hear Endezar's little old man voice, like, oh, pardon.

And I see his footsteps in the snow behind me. That's right, you do. And I hold up my shield and prepare it to dodge any stones that might come flying my way. Very cool. Cool action so far. Doran, in his giant ape-like form, picks up the rock that the giant threw at him

and angrily like Donkey Kong whips it back at the giant. Naturally. Skypony Kong. So you're rolling with disadvantage, right? Because you're beyond your first ranging from him. I was just about to do that. How far am I? I think he's beyond the second increment, isn't you?

Yeah, so you can't actually hit. Okay, so I'm going to run up first, though. Do it. My speed is 40. Excellent. So Doran turned into a great ape picks up the boulder that hit him and runs dashing through the trees, ending on the far side of the bank. Nice.

Doran and Red, you both watch from your vantage points, one in a tree and one perched atop a giant body as the stone giant on the second tier, the one holding this boulder, begins to come towards you, taking these long, intimidating steps. Do do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do-do do-do-do-do-d-do. Yeah, for real. Man, what do I want to do? Man, what do I want to do? The giant holds the boulder up to the sky and then points at the giant ape then,

like a diver slipping into a pool. His form collapses into the rocky burial mound, and he becomes one with a stone. Did he leave the bowl behind? Yes. Nice. Oh, I thought it was a boulder. It is a boulder. I thought you said bowl.

He called it a bool. A bool, like bulls. You can understand my confusion. All right, top of the order, we got stone giants. Stone giants. Yeah. No further boulders fling their way towards you across the riverbank. You hear the heavy footfalls of giants moving in the distance, but you don't see them anymore.

None of them? They all seem to have crouched down. behind this first tier or maybe are hiding in some other way and actually the stone giant that's across the river entirely conceals himself behind this stony outcropping red it's your turn do I lose sight of him you have no targets visible he's in full cover that's correct can I roll perception you absolutely can that's a 21 ah you do it's a small small target, but you see one of the stone giant's knees

sticking out from behind this cairn, this burial cairn. So you have a I was an adventure once, the giant says. Okay. Until I took an arrow to the knee. Cool. Then I'll attack

him. Sneaky-like. Yeah, do it. You fucker. The giant ape like sees the knee and he points. He looks at you and the tree. You don't see it. You don't see it. You don't. You have to roll your own perception. I was just doing it really for the humor. He's like jumping, pointing in his knee. I hate humor. We will have none of it on this show. What? It's illegal.

Yes. Yes, Ms. Diem. Thank you. Yes, Mrs. Diem. 50 pushups. That's a seven. To hit? Yeah. No. Getting all the bad rules out first, guys. Don't worry. Yeah, yeah. Get them all out. Yeah, no, man. I'm rolling balls tonight. That's 50. It's too small a target and you're too far away. We do play in this, you know, game called Dice Shame. Feel free to shame that dice.

None of them are ones. You know what, Alex, it's very true. Keep that in mind. But you're not wrong. You've ruled before that have been pretty crappy. Jack, it's your turn. I should say two more. Jack reaches into his pouch and pulls out one of the silver Sellemoren berries that we got as a gift and munches down on it, turning himself invisible.

Genius. and continues wandering through the woods towards generally the area of the creek. Two sneaky as fuck wizards start a solo mission heading. Two solo missions. It's a double solo mission. That's how you know it's good. Double header solo. And you barely perceive the footsteps of Endazar quietly trekking beside you,

trying not to catch the attention of these. stone giants. Krayloth, what do you do? Krayloth sees Jack go invisible and relatively quietly, and just a normal speaking voice, he says, don't stray too far away from me, otherwise I can't heal you if you go down. Then Kralov

is going to hoist his backpack and he runs 30 feet towards ape Doran and as soon as he gets within range, she's going to activate his balloon and rise up so that he can grab onto Doran's hairy back.

And he's going to brace himself there And say, we're in this together, Doran. I got your back, literally. I did this all for that pun. It's worth it. Doran's letting out these giant ape laughs. There's something on my back. Let me toss it.

It's not my turn yet anyways. It is your turn. If Kralas done, then that's all we got. Doran gives like a thumbs up, you know, after you climb on my back. Did you just give me the finger? What the hell, Doran? I'm still out of range. So Doran moves up and climbs down the cliff.

Make an athletics check. That's going to be a 25. You're great. You move as fast as you would on even ground because of your ape-like athletic abilities. Ah, sweet. How does that Karen look? Does it look smashable? Yeah, depends on the implement that you would be using.

I wouldn't say smashable with like a baseball bat, but smashable with a stone giant fist for sure. Or a giant boulder thrown by a giant ape, perhaps? Yeah, you could do some damage potentially. Hey, Doren, see if you can take out his cover. Ape Doren standing now on the river's edge, having climbed down the embankment, wields the giant rock that he's holding,

aims it at the cairn that he knows the giant is hiding behind and he whips the rock at the cairn hoping to like, you know, basically destroy it or move it, do something. For sure. Roll to hit. So you're rolling with disadvantage, right? I'll roll a three, so 12. Yeah, you hit. Nice. Thank goodness. You hit a big pile of rocks with another rock.

He couldn't hit the broad side of the rock pile. How much damage do you do? 76 plus six. Are you kidding me? That's crazy. Nice. It's a big ass, eight. 37 damage to the rock. Nice.

Awesome. Wow. You land a good hit right around the top center of this cairn, and you blow the top right off, exposing this crouching stone giant who looks alarmed at their hiding place, having been revealed. Crouching giant hidden in stone dragon. That's right. There's like, yeah, I just picture like the dust in the, and the, and the, rocks cracking you know like that's such a powerful visual cracked rocks

crouching doran hidden stone giant yes there one day that works better yeah although doran's not crouching either i don't know it's there there's a joke there croaching giant apish dorin it's the stone giant's turn um he stands up fully exposed now he lost his pants in the accident i just want to say erect he's Rock hard, as it were. Oh. So many good puns today. I know, I know.

And let me see. He's going to stride forward now boldly into the river. Boldly. Boldly. To pray, studying about that. Is that a 25-foot drop? Yeah, I rolled athletics. Right.

I rolled worse than you and I did better than you. How does that sound? Ouch. They're very, very, very athletic. Oh, okay. These stone giants look like Olympians. Yeah, that's right, eh? They're extremely lithe and muscular looking.

You got a very Grecian vibe. Yes, absolutely. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Curved by David himself. By David? Michelangelo. The giant picks up a huge river rock and hurls it overhead

with both hands at Eudorin. This rock must weigh like 400 pounds. It's massive. Oh, Jesus. 24 to hit you. Oh, fuck. as it does. But remember you're just a big sack of free hit points. Roll a strength saving throw. I'm going to roll as giant dice. That's what I should do. Nice. You take 31 points of damage.

I rolled a 10 total. So this rock hits you straight in the face. A. P. And you fall into the water. Kraloth also falls into the water with you. But you are then pulled back aloft by your balloon pack. So now you are basically directly in front of the stone giant without the cover of ape Doran as he is lying there. I think I just invented a live preserver. Red, it's your turn. All right. I have swapped out my usual dice that I've been rolling with for the past 50 games. What were you using? I was using the dice that hummingbird dice had sent and I was using my little dragon corp dice. Both great companies. But I have officially swapped them out for this battle because they haven't been

as terrible as shame they're not ready to go into the bin but I have brought it my gem stone and glass dye because I feel like that is appropriate

high risk high reward well not only that I feel like rolling with something that is stone essentially or at least you know

well yeah gem stone better karma right has the right has the right vibe going on so here we go and I'm also going to use advantage on this

because someone needs to take down this fuck here we go first roll 18 to hit yeah that hits Yeah. Nice.

27 damage. Hey, excellent. Wow. That's a hefty hit. And the second hit would be a 21 to hit. That hits. Nice. That is 27 damage again.

Whoa. It's 27 damage for two meaty hits as Red gets in the game. Jack, it's your turn. Doran didn't see it because he had his face in the mud. Jack is going to carefully approach the edge of this cliff and inch himself down to the bottom on his bum to get sort of standing in the sand. and take all his movement to sort of scooch invisibly down towards the edge of the water. Heroically. Heroic scooching.

He's concentrating so hard to keep Ape Doren as Ape Doren. It doesn't come easy. Take me to the river. Bump. Yeah, and I think Kieran's going to run over and sort of be doing the same to get down the cliff. Sounds good. From out of nowhere at the edge of the forest, three, missiles fly

toward the stone giant Andy! I was like, what? I thought it was Jack's turn. A wizard's in this fight? Nine damage. Krayloth, what happens next? So Kraloth sees this

stone giant eyeing him down as he's hovering in the air with his balloon pack. And a look of realization dawns over Kralov, but he's prepared for this. He's in the air. He is flying right now, and it is his opportunity to protect his friends.

He gets his hand ready on the drawstring of his backpack, and he prepares to dodge any rocks that fly at him. But in the meantime, as a bonus action, he's going to cast a spiritual weapon, and within 60 feet, right next to this stone giant, a spectral scythe forms in the air and takes a slice at its knee. How cool would it be if you could cast it to appear inside of the creature? Oh, yeah. It's like a lightsaber inside. A little bit of it's kind of cuts them up. 24 points to hit. Hmm.

Interesting, verbiage. Yeah, 24 hits. That's my first time. Okay. This is my first time playing D&D. It's going to take six points of damage. Owie! You cleave off one of the giant's belly hairs.

Oh! I was aiming for his knee Stupid scythe Grow brain Doran it's your turn It like turns back towards you and shrugs Doren is not too concerned About moving

So he stands up taking as much movement as he needs And he picks up The giant rock that the Giant just threw at him And lifts it in sort of a similar manner and whipses it in sort of a similar manner and whips it back across the river at the giant's face.

Hey, you're within 50 feet now. What does that mean? You don't roll with disadvantage. It just means, right, right. Okay, that's what I thought. I was like, do I get to advantage because of that? That would be a 17 to hit, question mark? No.

18's the number. 18's the number. And I think I only have one. You only have one rock. One rock. Yep. The stone giant wades through the river. It's not that deep, but it slows his steps a little bit.

Unfortunately, not enough to keep him from getting right up on you, Doran. He pulls back a great club and tries to strike you twice. I like the idea of him, like, just creating a great club with his... Stone abilities. Oh, yeah, for sure. Stonal Club. 25 to hit you? Oh, yeah.

Too many dice. You can take some dead out. Yeah, you can. Yeah, you don't even roll as many. That's okay, Joe. You guys are so kind to me. We try. 19 damage.

Okay. And 22 to hit you. Yeah, also hits. 23 damage. Okay. The other two giants have rounded the corner of the far side of the burial mound and are approaching, but in between movements are seeking cover behind rock formations and other cairns.

Check in. Red, your turn. Red fires at the one that we've been engaging. Bring this fucker to its knees. Oh my God. That's a miss for my first one. No. Let's try the other stone die.

Here we go. No, no, dear. Come on. So sad. My stone giants. You got this, Reds. Let's do it. My precious stone giants.

Yeah, no, that's not going to hit. 14. You know better. Damn. You know better. I have rolled some serious rocks in some games, and tonight I am rolling serious shit. This is a bad game to roll shit. I know.

It is a very bad game to roll shit. Jack, it's your turn. It is a very bad game. Well. To roll shit. Is Jack going to go postal now, or is it too early fridge? Jack to go post. No, I mean, I think it's in Jack's best interest to stay out of way to get the most out

of all these Doran hit points that we got. That's right. So we know what Kieran wants to be. Kieran is like nipping at the heels of this giant doing everything he can to like tug at his loincloth to give him just a little bit off balance, anything you can do to give Doran an advantage on these two fists. So Kieran's like yapping. Cobberton baby style?

Yeah, absolutely. He's right in there. My dick. You know, Kieran Leap's unafraid. Meanwhile, Jack, terrified of stone giants, will slip into the water and with the power of the ring of swimming move, just ever so gently gliding through the water, making it halfway across the river. Nice. Excellent. Quiet as an invisible duckling.

Yeah. Yeah. Crayloth, it's your turn. Okay. Krayloth reaches forward and grabs some of Doran's back hair and pulls himself in, pats him on the back and says, How are you doing, buddy? Krayloth senses that Ape Doren isn't doing as hot as he could be.

And he's going to use a spell that he's specially prepared to day called life transference. Life transference. Life transference. He rubs his head on the hairy ape's back. Lice transference. Is this the first time the podcast has seen life transference? This is the first time the podcast has seen life transference.

What is it due? I've never used it before. So I'm going to sacrifice some of my health to mend Doren. And what does that look like? Is that a good idea? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it is, I think it might be necromancy. It is necromancy, yeah.

You used a bunch of necromancy for a guy who doesn't like the undead. Hey, well, I mean, it's about the balance. It's about death. That's right. And necromancy is the, it's the magic of death, not undef necessarily. Well, I mean, it can be undead, but death in general. So I'm going to kill myself a little so that Doran can live. It's a very balancing thing.

Kralath takes 22 points of damage as his life essence is sucked away from him. Doren, you're going to heal 44. points of damage. 44. Whoa. This sense of cold washes over him as some of his life essence is drained out of him and is channeled into Doran. Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa. Now I'm back up to a hundred and twenty eight hit points. Perfect. That's what I like to hear. Thank you, Kri-a-loth. Thank you, Justin. Hello.

The ape giant that you're holding on to the back of suddenly feels stronger and stands up straighter. as if something were coursing through his veins, something magical and... Mystical. And tastes a little like Kralov. Very soulful. This life feels a little bit like...

I wonder if it has a flavor to it. There's like a hint of jasmine to the feeling, you know? You get the taste of blueberries in your mouth. Yeah. What do you do, Doren? It's your turn now. Doren is going to do the two apest. The two thing that you do... The first one with advantage is Kieran's helping you.

He pounds on his chest and then attacks the giant with a 21 deck. Oh. I should say so. Very nice. Smash him dead. 3D 10. So 26 points of damage. Nice.

For the first punch. And then coming in with the strong right. hook, that means that's a 28 to hit. For your second one? Yeah. Yeah. Then it's going to do... Just use the die roller on roll 20. Oh, good. It does bed mass and everything.

26 more damage. The bed mass and everything? Oh, yeah. Nice. Okay. Crackets. Exponents. Well, how do you know? It's not like 3G-16, right? Arithmetic, or additions. So this is... Oh, okay. He's added it in there.

26 damage. Dorian, what does it look like when you defeat this stone giant? Yes. Oh, the right hook of the giant ape comes around like a train coming around the corner of a mountain and knocks this in the face, literally knocking its head off like a boulder off a cliff. And as he watches the head go flying off into the. the river. The only thing he can think of is the tip of Denton's peak and the redemption he is seeking and finding in this battle. Cool. Nice. Rock and roll. The body of the stone giant

crumbles and falls into the stream of the splash. It's so distracting that you almost don't notice when a stone giant pulls itself up out of the ground behind you, Doran. Oh, no. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. Uh-oh, uh-oh, uh-oh. It reaches out to touch you, Krayloff. Okay. Make a constitution saving through.

No. Just kidding. Well, why? That's the end of the podcast, everybody. Thank you for joining us for doing. Social contract is broken. We are done. It has been a wonderful journey.

Thank you so much. Nice shame will never return. All right. What do you roll? On 11. Oh, Justin. The stone giant touches you, Kraloff, and spreading out from your skin. From the point that you are touched, gray.

granite and you are petrified. No. Jesus. The giant grabs you, Krayloth and adheres you to his chest. Krayloff! No! Thank you.

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