Dice Shame - 119 | 'Lie in Ruins'

Episode Date: January 20, 2022

After suffering a terrible defeat the party distracts themselves momentarily from the reality of their loss... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!?   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I need some time to think about this. It's just a place to get shelter. No, and like, there's not even time to, like, think about it. I know that Rob likes ruins. In my fiction, orcs don't exist in Mazdica. I guess Doreen's a little bit torn here. God, if I had ten minutes, he collapses to his knees. And it he so...

Why do you want to keep this? This situation sucks so much. Jack doesn't even flinch at destroying this lovely tapestry from a culture he's been studying. Grinlots gone. What? What? Granoth, his and there. Come on. Welcome back to Dice Shame.

Episode 119, Lie in Ruins. MVP this week is Gray, who's been hanging out with us on Discord and is also one of our incredible Patreon supporters at the undefeated level. Thanks so much for spending time with us, Gray. Thank you, Gray. Looking for a new D&D addiction? Check out our friends at Planet Arcana, a tightly edited, Terrell-flavored retrofuturistic D&D podcast, which is homebrewed and served to you by two DMs.

It's a fun, emotional, humorous journey with a retrofuturistic veneer. So check them out today at Planet Arcana on Instagram and Twitter. All right. Should we play some D&D? Let's do it. I almost can't believe it, but Harlan and I are, going to be married is coming up so super super fast. Can you believe it? What are you most excited about? Oh, God. Pick one thing. Honestly, just, well, I would say for me, being around a large

number of people that I love tremendously and getting to feel a sense of normalcy in like years of not getting to do that. Yeah, it's going to be an outside gathering. So we're looking forward to to that happening without a hitch for sure. What about you? What are you most looking for? Except for one hitch. Oh, yeah, us getting hitched.

Will Smith. Good job, Alex. And Will Smith. I'm most excited about the ceremony, I think. Harlan and I just had a meeting with the officiant to write some of the ceremony. And I got all weepy. You got weepy?

But you get weep. No, a lot of things. It was like, oh, a bird just flew by. Shut the fuck up. It's because I love you. It's okay. I know, I know. It's good to make fun.

So our venue is one that is kind of conducive to like a specific theme, which has led a lot of friends and family to ask us if we're having a themed wedding. So I wanted to know if you guys had ever been to a themed wedding like a wedding that wasn't wedding. How is it conducive? Because we're getting married at a pioneer village. Oh, right, right. People are like, are you going to be churning butter the whole time? costumes involved.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Ours is not themed. No. Although we've told a select few people that it is, so that's going to be fun. Have you guys ever been to a themed wedding? Never. No. Unless the wedding was wedding themed.

It's fair. I think it takes a little bit of courage to assume that your guests are going to want to come dressed up as like elves and shit. Well, actually, okay, I've been to a few interesting weddings. one was a wicker wedding is that Wiccan Wiccan thank you no wicker Oh Alex he's sweet boy Oh boy Maybe I should have googled it before

Everyone's in wicker chairs And it's just like The price wearing like a wicker skirt And they're just like okay everyone it's a wicker wedding Alex shows up to the wickin wedding and he's holding like a wicker Arm piece And he's like, oh, did I miss me the invitation? I thought you said,

just a basket. Fucking cornucopia. Wiccan. Wiccan. Yes. That's cool, though. You went to a Wiccan wedding. Yeah.

What was that like? Was it wicked? It was very interesting. It was in the fall, the late fall, and everybody was like barefoot. So it was sort of like. And it was outdoors. So it was a little bit interesting and cool. Yeah.

And everybody was very, well, when you said people coming, dress as elves. Like, people work in, like, it's very much, like, how you might dress if you were... It's definitely on that edge, right? Because it's very, like, sort of, uh, how would you define that? Wimical. Yeah. Yeah, that's a good way to put it.

Like, a lot of, like, jewels, like, crystals. No, much more, much more down to earth. Like, like... No, no, I mean, like, like, healing crystals, like quartz. Not like gaudy. No, no, no, I know. But a lot... Yes, yeah.

Well, definitely some stone, like gemstone. I'm sure it depends on the Wiccan as well. Yeah, but this was, it was very interesting. The bride wasn't wearing white. She was wearing like, dark green. It's just naked. Like, velvety material and like a wicker, woven type style headpiece.

Yeah. A wicker hat. Did it make you want to play D&D? Yeah, it did. And then the other wedding I was at, which was not really, again, not really, but that they were both really into video games. Weird.

And so, like, they had an N-64, like, hooked up. Oh. Right there in the ceremony room. During the ceremony? So, like. And then the groom was just playing. And the bride is like, David, and he's like, hold on.

You're going to no-scope this guy. I always wanted to get married with the theme of golden eye in the background. Yeah, yeah. Sloppers only. But that was the only time that they weren't playing was during the ceremony. So it was interesting. The bride and groom as well? Oh, yeah.

Oh, interesting. And everybody was there, was like, hey, hey, we get to play. Hey, I mean, to each their own? Were they playing video games the whole time, or was everybody playing video games? They had like multiple. It wasn't just one. Yeah, no, it was just those two. We're just, they're all just watching them play.

The wedding was the excuse to have the giant round robin tournament, really, that they always wanted. Oh, absolutely. That's funny. Your seat comes with an assigned place in the bracket. Whoever wins gets to marry. Would you say that was the most memorable wedding you'd ever been? to you, Alex? As a guest, maybe.

Yeah. Yeah, no, of course. Hold on. What alternative was there? The most memorable was my own. As the groom? That's a good point. I would hope your own would stand out amongst a crowd of what.

Where? Which one? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There's a couple of good ones. Have you ever been to a Renaissance fair? And I have to ask, I guess, Rob. Because I know Alex and Justin.

No. I don't think I have. Oh, we got to go to a Renfair, guys. I love how you just shortened that. Unless I'm totally wrong, Justin. I don't mean to disclude you. No, no, I haven't, but there is one in Quebec that I have been looking into going to. I've seen it at arm's length.

Remember, Alex, when we did our... They fight with... It's in Montreal. They fight with swords and shit. Yeah, and, like, bow... Well, the Society of Creative Anachronism is different than a Renaissance Fair. It's just a big fight. Because I have...

There was a society of creative anachronism in Moose Jaw, and there were... I think there was some, like, I remember there had set up a ring of, like, staged sword fights and stuff on Main Street during some fair or something. But that wasn't like a Renaissance fair where everybody's going and is dressed such that we all feel were, you know, of the time or something. Right. Which is what I sort of pictured when somebody said Renaissance Fair. Yeah, I guess this one in Quebec isn't a Renaissance Fair, but it is like a D&D-themed LARPing Festival. Oh. They have like an entire town that is like they've got like a blacksmith and bakers and all these sorts of, you know, D&D trope places.

And then, yeah, then they larp in the forest and have these competitions and, uh, cool. Um, it looks really like immersive. Okay, that's different than what I'm thinking of because there's another thing. Oh, the Knights and Warriors of Mount Royal. That's what it is. Every Sunday afternoon from April to October in Montreal, they all go to Mount Royal and they, and it's like they have fake weapons, foam weapons, but there's like a word for them. Bluffer? Sure.

Whiffle bats? Kind of. They have fake weapons that are all sponge and they just beat the hell of each other. And it's sort of like people call it a lard, but it's not really because most of them aren't really dressed up in garb. They're just running around with shields and swords whacking each other. Wasn't there a movie about this? They talk about it. It's not in Montreal, but they do a similar thing in role models.

Yes. Which is very funny. But that's just, I think, a straight-up Larp. That's wicked. But I think Dyshame goes to a Renaissance fair. I would totally do, like, a proper... See, the thing with me is, I want to either be totally immersed or not really at all. Like, I would hate to do a half-in where some people are acting and there's, like, pick-up trucks over here.

I would love to go somewhere legitimately and sort of fade away and kind of feel like I'm somewhere. else that would be really appealing to me me too there was a lot of those destination larp kind of things that are becoming a big thing before the pandemic it was like oh we've rented out a castle and now you get to go be vampires in a castle for a weekend yes could you imagine

even Disney's in on it because then their new cruise is like you go you get your Star Wars clothes and you go become a Jedi for a weekend or something that would be neat I would love to get on a cruise or something and have it just be like a week long murder mystery where everyone's in character and you don't mean like oh my god how cool would that be to do something that you just kind of like get to fade away for a week like fully immerse yourself until you go back in your room it's the only time you sort

get to break character that's like west world i don't think i could do that you don't think you do that i don't think i could do that i don't think i could come back to reality after that oh it's so fragile oh you'd get lost to me carma's just like yeah Alex went to one of those murder mystery cruises he never never came back i had a husband at one point but i don't know where he went He's never been the same since. Alex left for space last week. Well, let's do one. Dyshame goes to blank blank, some awesome...

Bicoline. Bicoline. Fantasy live combat experience. It's in a duchy. Let's do it. It's in a duchy, like a donut. I don't know. In some place.

I got like a bit of land. I love a duchy. Oh, it's in the duchet. Or duchet. The duchet. I see. Yeah. I love it.

Let's do it. we'll know the rules too because we'll be like I know sorry your movement's only 30 feet I'll be like what no it's not what it is us tall people will have an advantage how do they get I don't know I haven't larp have you guys lorped not like that with the costume not like that

I've done a little bit of larping yeah we've done like for your birthday Justin but that's not like yeah but that was I mean like the technical rules of larping where like everything has to be like you have to make sure it's just live action role play As long as you're doing a lot, like a role-playing game where you're actually standing up and enacting your movements, that's a lot.

Yeah, but I'm with Justin, like, how do you, like, okay, so if somebody hits you with a sword and the arm, are you, like, dead? Do you lose the arm? Like, there has to be some rules. What are the mechanics? The mechanics, yeah. It depends on which one you're doing. I think they've all got there. That's what I mean, like.

Different role-playing games that you are just sitting around a table for have different mechanics, too, right? But that doesn't mean that because you're not playing one genre that you're not playing a role-playing. No, no, agreed. but I think what Justin is sort of referring to is like the LARP in terms of like if there's a D&D to RPGs what is the to LARP?

You know what I mean? Like what is one of the most predominant LARP mechanics or rules? Because I would imagine that people who get heavy into the stuff there is like a common rule set. Like we most people that play role playing games at least from the circles

that I've talked to are like oh do you do Pathfinder or do you do D&D or do Swade. Like, those are sort of the big three in my groups of people. Like, I'm wondering if LARP has an analogous option. Analogous? What's Swade? Yeah, what is Swade? Savage Worlds.

Oh, Savage Worlds. Oh. Interesting. No, I mean, I guess I haven't played that game. I mean, I'm reading combat rules here and it's pretty fucking awesome. The body's divided into six hit areas that have one hip point each. Arm, leg, trunk, and the head, including the neck. The eyes, nose, mouth, and genitals can't be targeted.

And then there's like rules for weapons, right? All weapons of 112 centimeters or more must be held with two hands. Spears must have a mark 50 centimeters from the pommel delimiting a zone where you're limited to the presence of a single hand. There's like all of this like combat rules and there are marshals on the yeah, the combat field. Referees. Making sure that like you're playing fair, right? Which makes sense. It is forbidden to fake death. Oh, really? It is forbidden to say death. You are allowed to carry one indestructible shield. That's cool.

Nice. That's fun. This is kind of getting me excited. You get me a little amped up, right? Pieces of armor protect the wearer by adding non-humulative armor points, and only the specific area that's covered by the armor is protected. A hit area can never lose more armor points than the value of its highest type of protection. So you have, like, armor on you that as it gets hit, like it falls off. But you know what's cool about that, too, is like, in D&D or something, you know, like analogous to that, we spend money, but we don't really have to, like,

scrape and earn that. But like, if you're showing up to a LARP with armor, you built it. You're like, no, no, I'm in my garage,

duct taping it, or you're spending real money towards it. Either way, there's definitely like an actual cost of either time or money that you are putting

into this advantage, which is kind of a cool idea. So you ever, you ever played paintball? Oh, yeah. Like, paintball is a pretty cool, like, it hurts enough.

Like, you don't want to get hit. I've never either. Number two is like, he leaves a mark. So there's, like you're hit or you're not, right? And if it skims you, you know, you can kind of lie about it, right? There's like that trust, but there's that trust factor too.

Like you don't, you don't, you trust people not to lie if it doesn't explode, right? But imagine you had foam larping weapons that like once, if you hit somebody, it like doesn't obviously cut off your arm, but it hurts enough like a, like a stick wrapped in foam. It's going to hurt enough. But also if it was like spongy and filled with like an ink of some sort so that you could see, like imagine getting hit with an ink-filled thing, enough that it will and leave a red slice

on your arm. Organizing events is just such a thankless task that to imagine like more than five people trying to pull in the same direction on that kind of thing with all of that stuff on top of it, man, is that seem like a mountain to climb? Much respect to the people

who organize those. And then there's things that you don't necessarily think about, okay? And I'm going to bring in a little bit on the inside here. I, working in the insurance world, I got a call a couple years ago from this young lady who was... I remember you telling me about this. Yeah, who was setting up, like, a larping event. I couldn't get this person insurance, right?

I was like, okay, well, you know, we kind of went everywhere, and it does, they weren't able to afford what I could get. Well, I think that's what makes a lot of, like, event organizing really challenging. Yes, exactly. or anything. You need to have insurance for all of that shit. You brought up the organization part and that's entirely it, you know. You brought it up. Rob. Sorry.

Which, by the way, our own liability insurance is up for Dice Shame and sorry guys, we got to pitch in. Can we start a GoFundMe page? Man, Jack really does need some liability insurance. What kind of policy can you offer? Yeah. For deals with the dark arts. No policy.

No policy for you. Could I get some sole insurance? It depends how many times you've gone down. I imagine your premium would go up if you need reviving more frequently. You go down as an adventure. They revived you and you're like, fuck, my premium's going to go up. God damn it. Can you guys just tell, can you just give me heel potions?

Don't do anything. Do it off the books. Don't, let's not put this through our providers. Let's just make this purely, look, you want gold? I got gold. Next, D&D character. I'm going to be an insurance broker. There'd be a whole freaking temple devoted to insurance.

clerics. Are you kidding me? There is part of me that is excited about that kind of world building in a sick way. Of course you are. Well, so you and Alex put your heads together and you create this, the first ever insurance based RPG because I'll tell you, I've read a lot of RPGs. I don't think I've seen one with a mechanic built in about insurance in a mechanical way that's like unique to, like I've seen insurance and like, sure, like property, like the way we have it in our world. But I've never seen it beyond that into like a magic sense like magic insurance it sounds like in my mind it also goes very much to that to that like cyberpunk corporate whatever of like oh you can't you're living that's the easy way you know right but like we've definitely all seen that but i but there's

never been like a medieval right like i've never seen a medieval dystopia which when was the concept of insurance invented alex oh in 1935 john insurance came no it was um Did they have insurance in the Middle Ages? No. It was around the time that they were doing worldwide shipping with boats. Isn't it when you started getting the East India Company and all of that? Yeah. When people were sailing a lot and transporting goods around the world by big boat,

they realized that a pirate would steal a ship and they'd be out. Go fucking serious Alex's face just got. I love it. He's like, he's like, okay. You got to find the one thing for everyone that makes them drop all fucking pretense. And all of just their special... You stop drinking to talk. There's insurance in the code of Hamarabi in the ancient Babylonian empire.

It's not our modern end. All right. Thanks, Rob. What the hell did Hamarabi now? Anyways, yeah, I've been to a Cambodian wedding. And that was cool. Well, you certainly have been to a strange wedding in Fyroon. That's true.

Yes, in the high forest. And who knows, maybe there'll be another wedding in the future. Play to find out. Should we get down to business? Shale and, yeah. And Shale's molted self. Molded self. Shale and Shill's molded self.

Yeah, we get married. I feel like that would be like red, somebody walks into Red's room and he's like, oh, got two of Shale's little molted shells. He'd be like dressed them up as dolls. Now he's got Shale doll shells. I feel like there's a, I mean, I don't think he's that dumb.

But I would love the idea of like him, seeing finding shale's molded shell and being like I there's two and he's like thinking it's another version that got like born or like separated and then did not realize he's dead for a few months moving that's sad or it's not dead but you know what I mean that things anyway let's play some D&D whew hey oh before you climb out of the swift river drenched an ice cold the forest around you is dark and the sounds of the combat you escaped are distant, masked by the rushing water and the blood in your ears. Come on. Get up. Get up. Get up. What the hell happened back there? What was all that?

That fire thing. That wasn't the... That wasn't the furnace, was it? I'm pretty sure it was. Kralath has pushed himself up onto his hands and knees, and he slowly rises from the dirt and simply looks back. towards where the action all occurred, a distant look in his eyes and some confusion as well as he just stands there watching. Kraloth, you don't feel the needling on your skin from the cold water. You don't feel much of anything at all, except for an exhaustion that threatens to overwhelm you. In fact, it's only the willpower given to you from your military training that forces you

back up on your feet again. Your armor is so heavy. The effects of the shield of revival are starting to surface in your consciousness, becoming stark reality. Kralath, you are cursed. You were killed not long ago and brought back to life by the magical shield you looted from the hump rat villa over two months ago. Maybe the shield itself is cursed. Maybe its previous owner, the duchess, whom you murdered, has finally taken her revenge.

Maybe you're tainted by the dark magic of the shadow fell. What is now clear is that your body is forever changed. You are now undead. Whoa. Holy crap. I don't know if I mean, that's cool. You're dead.

I know. Holy shit. Mechanically speaking, your hit point maximum is reduced by 25% permanently. That's not going to be good. Additionally, you count as an undead creature for the purposes of

spells and effects, like turn undead. Oh, my God. And at night, this is cool, you can spend a hit die to move through solid objects as though they are difficult to rain. Interesting. It's on the plus side. Kind of

badass. Oh, my God. That's wild. That's going to be very interesting. Yeah, of all people that have that happen to Kraloth too, right? Who's so anti-Den. Wow. Holy shit. I think Krayloth says something like, I need some time to think about this.

I, excuse me for a moment. Yeah, Red sort of stands back, looks at his friend with a bit of a curious and confused look after what's transpired, but also trusting and understanding that if he needs the time he can have it, and Red just sort of nods and says, yeah, of course, what have a time you need.

Thank you. Jack can hardly even look up at Kralath. He's just got this guilty feeling and the weight of all the mistakes in their past little bit on his shoulders. Listen, if Kralath is going to, I guess, just meditate for a while, I guess we should probably look for some sort of shelter. Yeah, yeah, that's a good idea. Look, Krayloth, don't worry about it. Let's just, we'll make sure that we can find a place nearby.

Maybe make sure this area is safe. And Red sort of gives a nervous eye around to the woods that surround. You take your time. Don't worry about it, buddy. We got it covered. Kralov turns away from the group and begins to trudge through the woods over rotting logs. And it doesn't go very far. But when he gets a decent distance away, he collapses to his knee.

and he takes a deep breath and pulls out his holy symbol, the metal scale. He closes his grimy fingers around it and shuts his eyes and goes somewhere else. And I guess Red heads off sort of into the woods, a few steps, stops and turns back for Dorn and Jack, kind of recognizing that his friend needs the space. You know, I can see Doren maybe.

be not getting it entirely, kind of being like, come on, Doran. Well, and that's just it. Doran sort of stands there, and he's sort of like now feeling like he's being pulled in two directions. One half of him wants to stay beside the Kraloth. But then the other part of him is like, well, we do need to kind of keep moving. So I guess Doran's a little bit torn here. The best thing we can do is make sure this area is safe.

He pulls out of his axe and begins to kind of, I guess, fan out, not following a exactly red, goes in a bit of a different direction than red. Jack follows red when he sort of waves him over and he's looking off into the darkness a little bit wide-eyed and frantic and sort of agrees. Yeah, let's find some shelter. We've got to find something. Let me clarify, I'm not walking in a totally entirely different direction, but more of like... Just slightly.

If you're going east, I'm going north-northeast and there's nothing you can do about it. It's like red's going like 180 degrees and Doren's going like 185 degrees. a way, but like... Just to be difficult. Just like 40 feet away. Doran, Doran, come over here. Doran, you're going the wrong way. Just let's stick together.

Doran walks into the river. And I think when there's a quiet moment, Red, again, sort of just looks to his two friends with absolute defeat in his eyes, but also sort of pushing that aside for the moment, recognizing that his friend back there needs a moment. And he just says, look, let's just focus on the task at hand. We'll make sure this area is safe and give him a moment and it's going to be fine. It'll be fine.

Yeah. A short distance from the cold, rushing river, in the moon shadows of the winter pines, a ruined stone archway stands stark against the snow. Beyond, several other shapes are partially hidden by the trees. I think Red, sort of taking a bit of a lead from the others, crouches a little bit. And I'll just do a perception check. Mm-hmm. 15. Red, you recognize this to be probably the ruins of a small building, and you don't perceive the movement of any creatures in the trees ahead of you.

It seems quiet up ahead, but there's some ruins. Look. And Red sort of points them out as they're sort of juxtaposed against the grayness of the trees in a way that almost camouflages them to an extent. You know, I kind of picture them being so old. There's like frozen. gnarled roots grown through them? These are very old, yes. Old enough that we're seeing just like what used to be walls, not so much like any. That's right. Cool. Hey, I got historical knowledge, actually, just to throw that for a...

I know that Rob likes ruins, or Jack does. Jack takes a moment to definitely enter the ruin so that he can correctly ascertain its original purpose and determine its builders, whether they were dwarves, elves, humans, yonti, or some other known race. Cool. Jack, your archaeological mind buzzes and words. the graceful lines of this architecture immediately belie to you.

They're ancient origins. These are elven ruins crafted in some forgotten time. You would estimate around a thousand years ago, though you would need to do some further study to be able to figure out an exact timeline. Large pieces of stone litter the ground and they're capped in snow. This was at one point dwelling or maybe a place of worship. What do you make of the structure, Jack? I think Jack stops for a minute as he runs

his hand over the archway and sort of along the wall as he enters the space, trying to enter this crumbling ruin with a little bit of reverence for the lives that came before here and the sacred place it might have once been. It's funny to think these stones might be only one or two lifetimes old for an elf but for folks like us i guess it maybe it depends is that four dwarven lifetimes is that a dozen tabaxi lives and here they're just still here the surfaces of the stone are spoiled by more than just time as you enter and explore these ruins you notice marks of aggression here and there chips and scratches from heavy blows of weapons more More than that, underneath the snow in places you see handprints and writing in a careless,

thick script that you cannot read, vandalizing the stonework. I feel like Red walks over and crouches down and brushes some of the snow off. It's a solemn mood between the three of us. I think we're doing our duty to secure the area, but what's happened just moments ago almost at the top of the river bend is weighing heavy in our heart. as we sort of go about our military-like duty in making sure this is safe. Well, here's the torturous point for Jack is like, a language I can't read. God, if I had 10 minutes, if I had 10 minutes, I could wait to figure out what it said.

But also, at any moment, giants could be storming down that river bend towards us, so we've got to find somewhere safe. I think Red runs his finger along the deep cuts in the stone and turns to Doran. What do you think? An axe or a blade? Hmm. Doran's going to take a moment and inspect. I'd like to use my stone cutting here. I mean, it... Hell yeah, you will. Not much to do with the specific cut of the stone, but it will help. An unnatural 20.

Hell yes. You examine the cleft in the stone that red has pod bear. And then your eyes move further along the wall, and you see hidden in snow, a black-fledged arrow. pinning a carcass to the stonework. Yeah, and I kind of move my hand along where the cut was, and I'm brushing away snow, and then, like, I touch this arrow, and then I step back, and it's clear there's, like, you know, a set of bones of something that was there sitting there,

and I kind of take a step back. I'm not realizing that what I've stumbled upon suddenly. Oh, you are transported in your mind to some 20 years ago, when you fought creatures that would have desecrated ruins like this, orcs specifically, you recognize these arrows, this vandalism. Yeah. Perhaps this was even done during that time. The desecration that you're observing here,

these blade marks are also worn by the rain. And the carcass that you see pinned to the wall by an arrow is also very old. And as I'm running my fingers along the lines, the cuts out of the stone, and I touched the arrow and this skeleton corpse. My mind is flashing and I'm seeing, you know, a battle that took place here. Probably after these were already ruins. Oh, yes, certainly.

Man, it seems like this area was at some point in time infested with orcs. Orcs. Nasty, nasty individuals. We've been pretty lucky so far. Yeah. There was only a score that we fought. back at well I guess

don glow now isn't it yeah Grethug had orcs were there oh yeah oh yeah that's right they were so far away at Gretthog

I was just picking them off with my they never got even close I thought your eyesight was very keen but is there any sign of anything recent any recent movement

around here are there Roll survival oh a natural one oh shame it for shame it

it's my brand new metal dye from Joe once we buy you for Christmas. Don't shame it. Don't shame it. You get one roll out of that dye and then it goes away. That's very Christmas. Yeah, you've already done so much walking around these ruins that your footprints in the snow may have removed any evidence that you could have seen. It's impossible for you to tell. I'm no scout. I can't tell if there's anyone been around here, though I am concerned. Red, what are your tabaxia I see? Are we standing in a hot spot

for, hey, that was such a line of the Lord of the Rings. What do you, L-Fi see? Oh, I thought you meant Hot Spot. No, it was definitely a Lord of the Rings. Erigorn says that all the time. Yeah, when he was like, hey, Legalus, look at all these hot spots. Are you getting Wi-Fi? Yeah, I got 16 on my survival track.

You don't notice any fresh footprints read, though rounding a corner behind some trees, you find a part of a ruined staircase. It leads up half a story turning back. on itself and ending abruptly in jagged plains of crumbled stonework and hanging from the elegant stone railing four rusted chains hang pendulous clumps of skulls bolted together by some roughshod iron work the lower part of the staircase leads down into darkness damn i don't know what to make of all this jack darn yeah i don't think i'd have any experience with or customs In my fiction, orcs don't exist in Mazdica, or at least they're not native to that area. And it is so. And it is so.

For I have thought very little of your whole world. No, but I feel like there's, you know, there's like nolls in this world and like, you know, get the Yankee. And I feel like to me, to have them just everywhere all the time is kind of weird. So I feel like orcs are a very forgotten realms thing. For sure.

Just in my own mind. I mean, I think that might even be canon because they're weird aliens from another planet that crash landed somewhere on this side instead of the other side of... Githi Yankee? No, or... Orcs are from another dimension.

Oh, really? Yeah, there's a whole bunch of... Really? Well... Interesting. Anyway, Doran's army experience has told him that this is definitely orc and a hang skulls of fallen enemies

is like a sign of their taking that territory. Yes. Oh, looks like they've tried to claim this area. At least at some point, That looks mighty old, though, as he walks up next to Red. Yeah, I don't get the feeling that the hair. No. No, but maybe it speaks to somebody using it for shelter at some point.

Speaking of Shelter, what's down there? Who wants to go into the dark hole in the earth first? Because I might as well keep an eye out here and make sure that no but... Oh, definitely me. And Red longingly looks over his shoulder in the direction of Kralath just to see nothing from where they left him back there to shore. and he turns back. Now, yeah, let's make sure this is safe. It's sort of a weird feeling that a dwarf has. You know, most people look at staircase going down into darkness that they can't see past as some sort of fear.

But with a dwarf, there's the excitement. I don't know what's going to be found underground. And admittedly, it does ignite a bit of a fire within me to say, oh, you know, I'm definitely excited to get down underground. and see what's been created here. Roll around in the mud down there and get real cozy with something. Goblin, why not? I'm right behind you, Doran. Yeah, I'm behind both of you, but, you know, by like 15 feet. You descend into blackness, your night vision adjusting to show the rooms before you in dim grayscale. This would have once been a beautiful corridor, with barrelief carvings and stonewall sconces

gracefully carved from a single piece of rock. Much of its splendor has been marred by destruction. The wall sconces bludgeoned to pieces and lying on the ground. Not even the flagstone paving under your feet has been left intact, showing the stains of misuse. To your left and right, tall archways lead to rooms beyond. What do you see? Red says from behind at the top of the stairs.

Well, there's nobody here right now. You can come down. Look at this stonework. I mean, even I can appreciate when something is done nicely as he picks up one of the broken wall sconces. How do you feel about elven stonework compared to Dwarven craftsmanship? Oh, it's nothing in comparison. But at the same time...

He like crumbles it in his hand. He's like drywall compared to the Dwarven stone. For some reason, I feel like Dwarvenstone is like stronger. In your head, you're like, Orks would have never been able to knock off a Dwarven wall scons. Exactly. That's what I mean. But even still, I mean, regardless of... the feud that's continued between dwarves and elves.

I share an appreciation for the stonework and the hatred of the destruction of it. Yeah. Well, it looks like we've got sort of an open hall. Which way would you guys like to go? I think Red almost bumps into the back of you as he reaches the bottom stair, like almost looking up. Oh, sorry.

That's okay. That's okay. Whichever way you want to go, Doran. You know underground more than Jack myself. Let's go this way. Left. You observe a large room flanked on each side by pedestals, topped with statuary.

Each of these statues has been beheaded. To your left, as you walk in, large masses are piled up against the walls, seemingly made from branches and leather. Openings along the floor suggest these masses were once used as shelter, making them appear tent-like. In the center of the room,

a fire pit is constructed of strangely, round stones and contains black ash. On the wall opposite the living tents, there is a painting of some kind. It's hard to make out from where you stand. Doren walks up to the painting to view that more. I'm going to keep an eye open for traps. Sure. And I'm just saying that because I want you to know that it is on my mind. So Doran's kind of got in his mind too. So when you get killed by a trap, you can be like, ugh, I knew it. Well, you know, not only that, but... Only we had a rogue.

I'm not necessarily looking for them, but I am being mindful that there could be traps. So maybe that gives me a hand up and not stepping on a false floor. Yeah, and I think Red will maybe dip his head into one of the tents. Sure. Jack, what are you doing? Jack can't help but pause by each one of these beheaded statues and say a quick prayer to the Saldara and the gods of his mom

and try and figure out if he can see which of these gods it used to be that was so wonderfully carved out of stone and then desecrated like this. There's a tragic element to it. Absolutely. This is your ancestry, right? Maybe someone who was once, like one of your ancestors could have lived here

could have carved these stones. And a thousand years isn't even that long ago for elves. You know, there could have been, in another lifetime, this could have been a place, you know, it's not far from Silvery Moon from here. This could be an important part of his family story somehow. Doran, as you observe this painting, the partially abstracted shapes resolve themselves into the image of a figure. This painting was done with a far more careful hand than the graffiti outside, less splashed on the wall and more intentionally drawn.

Why don't you roll a perception check for me so we can figure out what you are able to discern? 17. Hey. Excellent. This is a figure, probably female, with broad shoulders and hips, long, wild hair, and whose arms are outstretched with very long claws extending about four feet on either side of the image. The art is brownish, reddish in color, and below the painting, at least 20 different bones, stripped of flesh, all sit in a pile. Oh, well, that's disappointing.

Red, in the tents, you find discarded remains and a variety of belongings, potentially that would have been discarded here by their occupants. I walk over and just sort of pick through them. You find a couple of interesting things. There's a collection of lumpy stones. You find... Guys, I've had lumpy stones!

You find a... dehydrated paw from some kind of large animal, maybe a bear. Oh, I like that. And a nest of baby pink mice that are so young, they're just squirming. Red grabs the dehydrated paw. Sort of looks at the small little pink mice for a second, turns his head, and then reaches into his bag and grabs his water skin and feeds them each a little bit of water, tucks in the nest slightly, and sort of almost to himself says,

it's going to be okay. Stay safe. And, uh, heads back out to join the others. Mm-hmm. Jack, as you peruse these statues thoughtfully, you are unable to identify them until you come across the remains of the campsite for it becomes apparent that the orcs who desecrated this place lopped off the heads of these deities in order to use them to line their campfire. If you bend down to investigate these heads further, you're able to identify some of the intermediary elven gods of wind, love, time, and nature. These are all figures that you recognize, but for some of them you have to brush away ash and the remains of fat dripped from carcasses cooked here. Jack kneels down around the campfire and picks up each one and sort of pulls the first head out and is like Helene-Selanil, the love goddess of the Alvin Pantheon.

Rilifane, Rallathil, the god of nature. I don't think he like takes too many more of them out. There almost isn't, like there isn't time to do what he would instinctually do. And so he... Yeah, there's no time for art restoration. No, there's not even time to like think about it. He just catches himself halfway through, like, falling into this pattern and stands up and walks beside Doran and says, do you find anything dangerous? No, nothing dangerous.

Just this piece of art. Look at this thing. It's certainly, uh, yeah. What do you make of this, Jack? Jack looks up and winces at this putrid, orchish figure, probably one of their goddesses. It doesn't matter, Doran. We got to, let's go see what Red found. I think at that point

Red sort of joins What the hell happened? The orcs desecrated this place, camped out And then drew this Did you find anything useful? No Yeah, nothing in there A few odds and sods

But nothing really worth taking You don't show them your bare paw No, that's for me We've got a fire pit here Do we bother lighting a fire Or maybe we should look at the other room first Let's see what else is down here Yeah, yeah

Jack kind of shivers thinking about this room and heads towards the next one as fast as he can. The idea of sleeping underneath the gaze of an orcish goddess. Yeah, and a desecrated temple doesn't feel great after all the other bad omens that have been in there like past two days or past week. It's not a great moment to try and piss off the gods a little more. I think Doran senses his disgust with this place and Doreen kind of puts a hand on your back and says, listen, it's just a place to get shelter. It doesn't mean anything if we sleep here. Yeah.

Maybe the other room will be in a much better shape. You're right. It doesn't matter. Yeah, it could be hexagonal. The room across the hall has a circular shape. Hey! Those who joke alike. Its ceiling is domed and an aperture in the top is crusted in icicles and snow.

It would appear that an air vent or skylight opens up directly to the outside. Four central columns once stood supporting the dome, but only two remain. The other two are crumbled to rubble and bear black stains on and around them. The perimeter of the room is decorated with frescoes that have been irreparably smeared with filth and ruin. And a huge fire pit dominates the center of the room at least 10 feet across. There is one further tent-like area, similar to the sleeping tent from the previous room, piled up against the far wall, though larger than those. Stepping into this room, Jack stops and almost gasps for a minute as he's mentally transported

to a place in his youth where his mom took him once, not this place, but a fire like it where surrounded by elven art and having a cultural moment for him. And there's just something shocking about seeing a place like that so familiar and yet so destroyed. And I think Red seeing Jack sort of react that way as he enters the room, Red sort of takes a second and walks over to Jack and he's like, let me borrow the decanter for a second. Yeah, sure. And Red walks over to one of the frescoes and turns it on to like power wash away some of the filth on the fresco,

just sort of like buffing it up. a little bit. This is like fucked up nasty drawings. They're lewd drawings that overlay the artistry underneath. And after blasting away the first red turns to Jack and he's like doesn't mean we need to leave it

this way just because they decided to, we can do better and he starts blasting the next one. You know, not even goblins desecrate places like this. This is disgusting as he walks up and touches the wall. You know, gobbins are actually quite

quite clean and uh you know you know goblins are really quite pretty in a certain light too like he's like suddenly trying to justify his marriage he's like by the way i know what you think about goblins but exactly what i'm saying from deep in the back of the room a shuffling stumbling sound precedes the emergence of a small form pale and chubby with two hopping legs and a gaping maw and little else it gurgles a little caw at you and hops forward a stream of saliva hanging from between its lower teeth. Red and Doran, you recognize this to be one of the same creatures that you fought at the Cindergather mansion.

And it hops toward you clearly hungry. Red drops the decanter and in a flash draws an arrow and sings it through the thing's open mouth as it jumps up towards them, pinning it to the outside of the tent in one swift move. He sort of holds the position of having just fired the bow with his hands open and then breathing heavily turns to the others. You beat me to it. As Doran's already got his axe out and he's been running towards you, the look on his face is a little bit like you stole his thunder from. Red walks over and pulls the arrow out with the thing still attached.

It's the size of a chicken. He sort of holds it up and shows it to the other two again. It's these things again. Fuck. And he throws it. down. Might be easy to kill, but there's always more than one. This whole area is tainted. Being the first time Jack gets a look at a fresh-ish one, can I take a look and just see if I recognize anything about it or if any piece of it rings any bells with anything he's read

to learn a little bit more about what the heck it is? Yes, you can roll a history check if you like. Let's do it. 24. Even with a 24, Jack, there's not many. parallels that you can draw between this creature and anything else you've ever seen, apart from perhaps the piece of a creature that Red had presented you after returning from the Cindergather mansion, and maybe one other creature, which is that tall, imposing monster that just slayed Kraloth in that, leaking from the arrow wound that Red punctured it with, wisps of shadow and smoke begin to emanate. Jack sort of leans down and there's a lot of horror on his face and it's matched just

underneath it with a level of curiosity as he pulls out his wand and pokes at the creature for a second. It's this fucking area, Jack. We saw these same things at Cindergather. We saw the same things in the woods. The hunger, this whole area is tainted. Not to be burned to the ground. Yeah.

I mentioned earlier that if the place to stay is just a place to stay, we can't, we can't sleep here. No, these things are foul. Red, do you have any cloth or anything to wrap this thing in? Of course. Red pulls out the tapestry that he took from the barbarians, from the wall of the cavern. Yeah, the Great Wormtrived.

Yeah, and unravels it, and he's like, yeah, it just tears a piece of it. Wrap it up. You know what? The, what? This situation sucks so much. Jack doesn't even flinch at destroying this lovely tap. from a culture he's been studying

for a lot of his life as he wraps up this ugly little monster. It won't get a waste jack. Don't worry the rest of it all uses toilet paper. Yeah. I think Doran's kind of watching this happen going why do you want to keep this? This isn't

from our world. There's only two people in the realms who I know who know a lot about things that aren't from here. One's my dad in Waterdeep and the other is my mom in Silvery Moon. They're the only ones I know who might have an answer about what the hell this is, because I don't, I don't think they've been around here before.

All right. Well, let's keep it safe if we need to. Red goes in the bag of holding and stashes it somewhere secure within there. Look, this place isn't safe. Doran's right. No. Jack turns to where Red had power washed one of the frescoes and sees Aravann Lisseri, the god of trickery, mischief, and rogues, and thinks that's kind of appropriate.

Just a little bit of a smirk on his face before he, heads out of the room with the rest of them. Well, let's keep looking, I guess. Yeah. Well, you know what? We've been a while, and we're not that far from the Sky Pony burial mound. Let me just make sure no one's on our tail. And I'm going to do primival awareness for a second, with a five-mile radius, well within the limits of the shore that we're only a little bit away from,

just to see if I can detect any humanoids or giants. Mm-hmm. You do detect two giants at the far north. Damn, giants, I think we might need to move, guys. However, you also do not detect any humanoids within a five-mile radius, apart from the two companions that you are standing directly beside. Crayloth's gone. What?

What? Cranth is in there. Come on. Gone. We got to go. And red bolts back to the shore at breakneck speed. You make your way back through the darkness to the banks of the river, where you find Kralath sitting on a rock, staring into the rushing water. Krayloff.

Hey, guys. Is it safe? What? Is everything all right? Yeah. So he's here? Yeah, he's just sitting there. Okay.

I think Red is just sort of frozen for a moment. Confused. Listen, let's keep it down. Let's keep it down. Let's keep moving. We've got to continue south here. They're too close, and they... Yeah, yeah.

We've got to get a little further. We just need space to get a breath. Oh. There's some giants to the north. Come on, everyone. Let's start getting some distance between us and them. Yeah, I think Jack's trying to keep it quiet and, you know, make sure he's got Doran and Krayalath right with him.

Okay. And you walk off into the dark woods together, looking for a place to rest and plan your next move. Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters, Christopher Ryan Evans, Merlin, Mitchell Candwell, Michael and Brianna Weber, Colin Burkart, Daniel Doug, Jessica Orrett, Jonah Goldman, Melanie Sien, Lars, and Marikanniski. See you soon.