Dice Shame - 131 | ‘The Elephant in the Room’

Episode Date: April 14, 2022

The group discusses some troublesome realities of their new situation... Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module! Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!? Content Warning: swearing, violence, horror, mental illness and suicide. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I don't understand why you want to go to a little ad bar or whatever. Let's just, let's just keep moving. Looks like I'm in your way, huh? This is just Krayla's new attitude. What's the plan, Jack? I've had enough of these ambushes. The one person who liked his jokes. Look out, Jack, it's even bad or now.

Chaos Hammer wasn't going to wait forever. If the rules were reversed. Tragically, Doran is also going to get null mind-fooked. I'm a bit busy here, but I'll do my best. Do I just take him out? Ah! Easy does it now. Whoa, easy.

Someone do a mammoth sound. Alex. All right. You get inspiration again. You get your inspiration back. Good job. MVP this week is Thundermoth, who joined our Discord and is all caught up to the show. Thanks for joining us, Thundermoth.

Thanks, Thundermoth. Looking for a talented, versatile voice over. artist or just a fan of kind-hearted narrators, check out our friend Gary Furlong at Gary Furlongvovoys.com. Gary is the friendly guy next door sound used by big companies like Samsung and McDonald's. He's an accent and dialect master

with fluency in Irish, British, and Standard American. He's a brilliant artist and a wonderful friend. Check him out today. We love you, Gary. Love you, buddy. All right, should we play some D&D? Let's do it. What is happening?

to our beloved party. I feel like the dynamic has shifted a lot over the past couple of episodes. Reds, like, acting all shady. What? No, who? Maybe knowing a little nefarious stuff for some reason. Doran's under attack.

Who's trying to kill me? Why was not doing your voice? Doran forgot his voice. Who's trying to kill me? Who's trying? Who's trying to kill me? Doesn't make any sense. Kray Loth is like,

boy, bye. to Kellambor and taking up with a new goddess. Shacking up with a new goddess. Jack's here too. Yeah. Jack had like a visit with his mom. Yeah. You know, that lovely family visit.

I don't know whatever it's going on to everybody else. You know, Golden Retriever, saw his boyfriend. Very grounded now. It's got to be a big damn hero. Jack's feeling great. Yeah, Jack. Exactly. I feel really good right now, guys.

Torin sold the copper cop. Yes, that's right. Is there going to be like some shift of feeling? You know, Torrance sold the copper cup. Is Jack going to be like... He's going to fall in love with Jack's dad. You're not a bar owner anymore. Days of our lives, dice, shame, edition.

Jack only loves him because he's an entrepreneur. Shames of our life. Without the copper cup, you're nothing to me. You know, the whole money stuff, it's like whatever. His dad's always solved a problem with money. Buying the bar is very much, all right, that's his way of showing... Kind of in line. Showing some kind of connection to the moral world.

I'll take it. How are you guys feeling about the inter-party vibe right now? Awkward. A little bit, right? Yeah. It's frosty. It's been awkward for a while, though. Ever since that imp came into the picture, it's been kind of awkward.

I certainly that damaged it. I did think it came back on the other side of it. I think most of the riding around the airship stuff was pretty vibe and along. We were sort of making good progress towards a goal. We sort of had a focus. RIP Damien. the wedding felt like the last moment where we're right because we've had up like dorn and red had an upswing but that was just the two of them and yarder felt nice but was that before the way yada

you know i have to say the imp might have been like um there's a metaphor that i'm looking for here that i can't quite think of the straw that broke the camel's web no it was quite the opposite sort of like the camel that strengthened the straws back no no more like something that's something that began the chipping away of something like the first cut is the deepest the foundation the catalyst yeah the foundation started to crumble and ran the fountainhead the Atlas shrug yeah one of those no it's it's it's the snowball rolling down a hill the foundation the foundation that's kind of what I was like there was first chip in the foundation the foundation cracks in the foundation yes yes we got there the imp was the first crack

that should be an episode title take a while I'm writing it down first crack in the Maybe it's this one. Who knows? Anyway, you guys are on your way to the final barbarian spirit mound by way of Everland. And then off to rendezvous with Harshnag, right? Back up in the spine of the world. Yeah, rendezvous. Sure.

That's only going to take you guys like one or two sessions, probably, right? Whatever happened to our horses? Where are they right now? They're all dead. They're back at home. They're back at the hamperat house. The hamperat house. I feel like when we get back there, we must christen it.

with a new something. But because it, the horses went with Bioner. A new bidet. We shouldn't name it after the person that I killed. It seems. Hump rat? Yeah.

It already has our name. It's called. Yeah, something like hump rat. Yeah. The fuck mouse. Isn't that a music lorice? Burt. Burt fuck mouse?

Burt back and hamperat. Oh, geez. Fuckmos, but it's a five instead of Oh, I like that. Fuck mouse. That's cool. Rob's so proud of himself right now. I mean, it's a reference to dead mouse.

Dead mouse. The kids, the kids these days, like dead mouse, right? Yeah, right? Do you guys want to play some D&D or what? Hell yeah! Yeah, I do. I got dice and everything. I came prepared.

You're traveling the road south from Silvery Moon to Everland with the silver. with the silver wood on your right stretching frozen to the west and the foothills leading to the peaks of the nether mountains on your left. This stretch of the Ralvin Road seems relatively well tread, though the merchant caravans and parties of travelers that accompanied you as you left Silvery Moon are nowhere to be seen given that you spent quite some time away from the road yesterday.

Red, you were leading the party off-road and through parts of the silverwood acting a little suspicious maybe of other travelers on the road or maybe just cautious? Has your mood changed at all with the night spent sleeping rough? I think Red is still acting a little anxious after

last night. But, you know, maybe an hour or two into travel, he seems to shake that off and starts to feel like his old self again. You know, after one good night's sleep, realizing that we're not being tracked, Red would know, especially with being able

to tell, you know, within a five-mile radius, any humanoids are following him. So, yeah, maybe like an hour in red starts acting like his old self. Hey, Doran, you look rather morose? What's going on, bud? Ah, red, I don't know. It's, um, it's another day. That's for sure.

Let's just, let's just keep moving. Um, say, which way was that Citadel? Are we gonna visit there? Are we gonna go to the Citadel? The Citadel? Bad bar? Yeah. We told Chaos Hammer.

We told them we'd go. It's quite a ways the other direction. I know, but, and Doran kind of turns around walking backwards for a moment, looking in the direction of where the Citadel might be. But, I mean, if we kind of go that way while we're over here. I don't understand why you want to go to Citadelal, Advaro, whatever the hell, but... I don't know. Just leave me alone. You okay, bud?

And Doran stares forward and begins tromping, following. You know, it's funny, he's not carrying a rock anymore, but he's sure got a weight on his shoulders. Oh, shut up. Good line. Jack, like, looks around to be like, anybody see my good... Yeah, Kralov is way up ahead. He hasn't stopped walking.

Yeah, and Red full out looks at you and then just, like, pretends to keep scanning the horizon past. And there's just a moment where Jack is just kind of standing still. The whole party's moved on. Kieran wags his tail real slow. Thanks, buddy.

Little angels. Red no longer. sort of occupied or worried about people following does turn his attention to Dorn because he said something he wants to tell him for a while and he kind of hangs back for a minute and he nudges him. Like, come on, look, don't worry about it. The Citadel, all that stuff.

Maybe it worked itself out by now, right? Isn't it possible? Maybe. Look, Chaos Hammer wasn't going to wait forever. We knew that. But he was also a reasonable man. Maybe he sent word to the Citadel. Maybe he wanted to be a little bit more

responsible for the actions of his soldiers. I don't know. Anyway, I wanted to talk to you about something. Something important. Something about what happened in the marketplace back there. Yeah. I want to make sure we're alone for it. Red sort of gives an eye forward to Kralov and back at Jack.

And you can hear the distant sound of music that Krayloth has cast as thomiturgy that's just kind of accompanying him as he walks. You got like a holy boombox on your shoulder? Hell yeah, yeah, that's exactly it. Yo, I might be dead, but that's okay. I've left California, it's not mine today. What? Hey, Kralov, you think that's a good idea to be casting music loudly?

Some of those lyrics are kind of rude. But yeah, don't run night. Hell, I didn't know Chaos Hammer didn't send those assassins. And as he says that, he reaches under his armor on his left shoulder and he feels where the first arrow hit him, the first poison arrow went into his shoulder. He's feeling the wound as it's healing, you know, well. But he's thinking about it. How do you know it wasn't Chaos Hammer?

How do you know it wasn't him that sent those assassins? Well, um... I'm starting to wonder who the hell wants me dead. You ever wanted anybody wanting you dead red? You know how that might feel? And Red takes a long pause. Look, you remember when we met those girls back at Silvery Moon last night? Yeah, yeah.

All of a sudden, the trees ahead shudder and shake, parting to reveal a massive, shaggy, elephant. Whoa. A mammoth. Its tusks are sharpened and painted with gore. And atop its back, a tall gray-skinned rider swinging something on a chain overhead in a wide circle. As the mammoth charges toward you through the snow, the rider's appearance becomes terrifyingly clear as it closes in our neck armored, snarling with sharp fangs and a shock of brown. the hair cresting its head

and running down its spine. Everybody roll for initiative. Oh. Dun-da-d-da-dun-dun-dun-dun-dun-da-da-dun. Kralath, what'd you get? Oh, I forgot to roll. What game were we playing again?

It's not me for once. Oh, I got 15. 15. Nice. Not bad. This is just Kray-Loth's new attitude. It's nothing to do with Justin. He's just role-playing his character.

It's bleeding over. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Red? Oh, 16. Nice. Jack? Big old seven. Lucky number seven.

Doran? Also at 16. Oh. Can I go first? Uh-huh. It's going to mess up the way that I wrote things, but that's fine. This mammoth charges towards you through the snow. Kralath, you're up ahead of your companions.

And this huge creature just barrels towards you. It's going to try to gore you, Krayloth, with its. mammoth tusks. Okay. 23 to gore. That hits. Oh, yeah. Make a strength saving throw.

Ooh, I will do this. It's going to try and al-Gore you. The world is melting. Oh my God, I'm rolling amazing on this damage. 15 to the strength save. Okay, so you fail your strength save. Okay. It deals 30 piercing damage with its tusk as it skewers you through your armor.

Okay. And it knocks you prone. And as it does, it tries. to stomp on you. Jesus. Do not like that. 15. I managed to roll out of the way

just as the giant feet slam down beside my head. Nice. That was close. The rider atop screaming something unintelligible. It's in a language

you don't understand. Give me 10 minutes. Guys, pause, pause, game off. Time, time, time, time, keep a busy. You can't do anything until we figure this out.

From the west flank, A bank of smoke erupts from the trees, burning your eyes and heralding the appearance of a terrible beast, large and dog-like, with tall arching tail tipped with dripping a sting. It runs at you, Doran, snapping with its slavering jaws through which you can see the evil fires of hell shining. Yikes. I can't make it right up to you with just. just one movement, so it's going to dash at you. And it gets right up beside you there, Doran. Doran lifts his axe and snarls and bears his teeth.

He sees fire in this thing's mouth and the thing sees fire in Doran's eyes. Ooh, metaphorical fire. Yes. I like that. Red, it's your turn. So Red, you are kind of on the other side of Doran, on the other side from the creature. Yeah.

Kralath's up ahead of you, facing down against a mammoth. Red's going to cast icy mantle on himself. So I touched myself again with a droplet of water and tiny little snowflakes of ice flake out over my entire body. And with that, I'm protected from any damage that I take, at least for the first time.

And then he's going to get a good distance on both of these creatures. Where are you going? I'm going to go up, I think to the west of me, sorry, I think to the east of me there's like a bank. of snow. I'm going to try to get to the top of it as soon as I can. And as I'm moving, I want to just make sure there's no other massive creatures that somehow hide in the brush around us. They're very sneaky. Because there's, because there's some brush to the south of me. I just want

to roll perception as I'm moving up that hill with a 12. You do see a flicker of movement in the trees, though you can't make out any distinct shapes. It's movement to the east in the trees. Be careful. And with that, I'm going to ready my bow. Nice. Doran, what do you do? I'm looking, I have something I want to say here, but I can't think, I don't want to say I've had enough of these surprise attacks. I want to say I've had enough of these ambushes. Thank you. That's what I'm working for.

I've had enough of these ambushes. And he goes and attacks this beast directly in the face with his, with his orc splitter. Great. 22. Yep, that'll do it. Okay. 19 points of damage. Absolutely.

And then I'm going to attack again. 14 to hit? Yes. Oh, doing eight points of damage. Well done. Yeah, this creature is much, much larger than you. This large dog-like, I say dog-like, just because there's kind of not really words to describe it. It's quadrupedal.

It has these burning, fiery eyes and these spikes that. run down its back, you can almost see the breath of hell through its rib cage in its side as you bury orc splitter in its fur and it yelps in pain. Good. Good. Yes. I can cut that, don't worry. Crayloth, it's your turn. Crayloth in a daze rolls over on the snow and coughs out a bit of blood as he pushes himself up. But instantly he begins to feel his wounds start to knit. And he chuckles to himself, a bead of blood dribbling down his mouth as he pushes himself off the ground and looks up at this knoll as this mammoth is getting ready to attack again. You look up at the what?

Is it a knoll? I mean, it's a picture of a knoll. I didn't say it. but you didn't say you know what it's funny no it's actually funny i want to say this because i was literally thinking two days ago that we haven't fought any knolls in uh in dice shame yet and i was like i want to fight some noles so that's it was funny when i saw that so he looks up at this beast tamer whatever's riding this mammoth and he says looks like i'm in your way huh and he holds out his shield he's gonna take the dodge

action and just smirk and laugh and try and, you know, angst this creature into attacking him again. But meanwhile, a giant scythe appears behind it, the beast that's riding the mammoth. And it takes a massive swipe. And I'm casting spirit weapon at a level four. And I'm going to try to hit this thing. Are you attacking the mammoth or it's rider? It's rider. Excellent.

That's going to be 23 to hit. You hit, absolutely. 13 points of damage. Nice. As my scythe slices through him, surprising him, and confusing him or her. They, or them. Or Z. We're not here to make assumptions about one.

Nolls, genders. The rider atop the mammoth slides down, swinging this length of chain, screaming encouragement, looking around wildly towards the bushes that surround you. He launches himself at you then, Kralath. All teeth and claws in a fury. He's going to try to bite you first. That was a natural 20 and 14 to hit. That is a miss.

And he's going to try to clanks off my shield. He's going to try to claw you. That's another natural 20 and 23? 23 does hit, yes. Okay, so he deals 10 slashing damage. And for the final claw, this creature, I'm rolling. Amazing. That is another natural 20.

What? Jesus. 22. She's cheating. I'm not. 22 also hits. 22 also hits. Okay.

You just lucked out, my friend. I mean, you didn't luck out. You. Lafed out. Dysheamed out. You strategied out. Oh, okay. That's minimum damage.

You take four slashing damage. All right. The creature just flexes is terrible. claws at you looking for another opening and then pouring from the trees now screaming and howling in a language you don't recognize four more of these same creatures attack you in a pincer maneuver from each side two of them they're decked out in a war jewelry their arms and legs show silvery scars cut long ago through their matted fur they run towards you through the snow we got to over here We got two over here

Two and two I don't like this kid's show I don't find it educational Yeah I don't like being schooled either Red pans the horizon And looks right past you as you say that again What's over there, a tree? These creatures rush from the bushes

Towards you, Jack And they basically get as far As your animal companion Your little spiritual friend Oh, good. Kieran. The first creature tries to bite Kieran. Well, now we know they're bad guys.

It's a 16 to hit? Yeah, yeah, Kieran's A-C is 12. Five piercing damage. What he's done for. He poofs out of existence. No. And Jack feels sad. The one person who liked his jokes gone for a while.

Who's that? He tolerated them. Unfortunately, that eats up that creature's multi-attack because he does not have any more movement. But the other creature gets right up directly on you, Jack. Then the other two that are coming from the west, one of them gets up in melee range with Doran and tries to strike. It's going to try to bite you, Doran.

14 to hit. That's a miss. And because he's going to miss with a melee attack, I'm going to use my repost. Oh, you think you're all bitey little bastard, do you? and he turns and he attacks the creature. 27? Oh, yeah.

27 points of damage, yeah. Jesus. Nice. What does it look like when you kill him in one blow? Whoa. Well, Doren kind of reacts to this dog thing attacking him. He lunges at you trying to bite you. Meanwhile, he's already engaged in this ambush, and he's pissed off, and he just turns,

and puts the axe straight into the head. of this beast, putting it to the ground, pulling the axe out of his skull. The final creature rushes up to you, Jack, and tries to bite you. Yikes. 13 to hit. Oh, hey, uh, that's going to miss. I'm sure it connects with my major armor prevents its teeth from getting all the way into my bones. Love that.

Or blood or skin or any of that. As it's snapping at this mage armor, it pulls a short sword from its waist and gets it right in between your ribs with a 23. Oh, this is a dog? These are seven-foot-tall humanoids. Oh. They do have fur on them, but they're trying to bite you and stab you. They look like hyenas.

Yeah, they're hyena folk, basically. Oh, okay. That only deals three piercing damage to you, Jack. Ow. And then a second short sort attack, dirty 20 to hit. Yeah, it'll hit. Six piercing damage. Mm-hmm.

So I've been stabbed twice by seven-foot-tall hulking furry monsters. Don't love that. Correct. There is one on either side of you, basically. Yeah. And then another one 10 feet from you. Yeah. I see that.

Yeah. One final creature emerges from its ambush spot through the chaos of battle now. He is hunched, hulking with a long tail that whips back and forth. forth in a blood frenzy. His weapon is strange, a flail tipped with skulls that smoke, as though they contain smoldering embers. Across his chest is a tatter of chain mail decorated by a bandalier of withered human hands that swing on chains as he lopes forward toward your party.

Hmm. A bandalier. That's the word you took head of that? Bandelier. Flaming and skull, hands dangling. Yeah, dangling from a bandalier. It's Doran's new word of the day. Should start a calendar.

Bandalier. He gets right up next to you, Doran. Oh, it's because I made that stupid comment. Yep. This terrifying weapon swinging in his hand. Jack, it is finally your turn. Oh, boy. Yeah, I mean, Jack's been trying to take this all in, and it's a lot, starting with the mammoth and whatever the thing was riding it down to this hellish critter and whatever's attacking during now and these things beside me.

As far as like real life experience, I don't think Jack has encountered any of these things before, but he's read a lot of books and looked at a lot of critter manuals and things. Can he put names to any of this shit? Like, is he, does anything look familiar or stand out in the moment of like, oh, I know what that thing is at least? You read about the savage nature of the knolls. Yeah. And you remember some of the drawings that you saw, some of the illustrations. And you actually gain some specific knowledge about Knowles that they fight in packs alongside each other as well as with each other for dominance when there are no enemies to fight. Yeah.

And that they are loyal through bloodlines. lines to each other. These are certainly those creatures you read of. Jack's got his mind racing as he sees these knolls and, you know, having just read about their cruelty and cannibalism and, you know, general wickedness like a couple of days ago, it's all fresh in his mind as they're stabbing him to pieces. Without even thinking, he uses his telekinesis on himself, just his mental ability to yank himself around by practicing magic in his mind, pulls him five feet out of the way of these gnomes, and it's forced... Noles. Force movement, and he doesn't... provoke attacks of opportunity, and that's really ideal for him. And now that he's been like

pulled back, he takes another step away and starts to put his magical thoughts together. He starts to see it in his mind first, this hypnotic pattern that he's hoping to catch all of these critters with. And he's changing it subtly. He's, he's, you know, getting it to trap specifically the null mind. He knows that they want to be in these fights of dominance in this hierarchy and all this other stuff that he just learned about them. And he's targeting this specifically to dial into their minds. Tragically, Doren is also going to get Nol mind-fucked because he's in the square. And that's going to be a shame that I will deal with in a minute.

Happens to the best of us. Jack is going to hypnotic pattern the three knolls, the weird creature fighting Doren, and the guy with the bandolier full of hands behind him. The handelier, if you will. The handelier. Thank you for clarifying. It was the bandolier of the one. He's creating a twisting pattern of colors that weaves through the air,

and they can each make me, and he's going to use his spell secrets to twist it into an intelligence save. Looking for an intelligence save. Great. DC-16. You're potentially affecting three of these kind of weaker creatures, as well as that hellfire, demon, hound thing with a scorpion tail, and the handlerer man.

So here we go. Yeah. Let's do saves on this three little. guys. And I also rolled. They shall hear two four be known as. Yeah, you need to roll two. What did you get, Doran?

A four, I failed at miserably. Oh, no. You're charmed by Jack. Of course. This will be fine. The three soldiers, basically, they fail, all three of them. Then, yeah, that demon dog scorpion thing also fails.

Demon dog scorpion thing. I love that description. Don't you have a name for it? Demon dog scorpion thing. It was a demon dog scorpion thing. things. You said 16? Yes. I just hit it. I got a 16 on the dice.

Handelier is fine. They all stop dead in their tracks fighting for dominance in their own mind against these twisting patterns. The creatures become charmed for the duration while charmed by this spell. They are incapacitated and have a speed of zero.

If they take damage or someone else uses an action to shake the creature out of its stupor, it wakes up. Good job, Jack. Yeah, that's awesome. I feel like because it's friendly fire, Doran's like stoned out of his mind. Like, like just in this like haze of the sitar starts. Yeah.

You can, you can shake me. You can shake me. I'll just hit him with an arrow. No, don't, don't, just shoot him. Do non-lethal arrow damage. Jack shouts to everybody. I've got these three and that thing under my control for the minute, but I think Doran fell for the spell too.

Whatever this guy is with the hands on him, hit take him down. I'm a bit busy here, but I'll do my best. bereft of its owner, this mammoth takes a quick charge at Jack who has isolated himself from the fray of other creatures as mammoths are wont to charge. They love it. It's their favorite thing in the world. Classic. This mammoth tries to trample you. Did you hear they're bringing the mammoth back? Really? Tries to trample Jack. That could kill Jack real good. Ooh, it's only a 15 to gore you with its tusk. Well, it might hit, but I, Jack, throws up a shield with his hand to sort of catch the tusk,

and I imagine he gets lifted halfway up into the air before he lands down with his shield in front of him, just barely holding together. Does Kralov get an attack of opportunity? Yeah, sure, why not? He's a big old mammoth. He probably ran past you. Big old.

Yeah. Try to do one of those Aowin leg slashes. It sounds like that. That's 19 to hit. Yeah, you get him. All right, get over here, you big old mammoth. All right, that's eight points of damage. Are you hitting him with your mace?

Yeah, my mace just wopo-h-hits it in the heel and just kind of sinks into its flesh, but it just keeps going. You enraged the mammoth further causing it. No, I'm just kidding. Look out, Jack. It's even bad or no. Thanks, Kraton. Now it's an angry mammoth.

Yeah, it charges past you and tries to viciously gore your wizard. But Jack manages to... Don't gore my wizard. Fend him off. That's my wizard. Leave it alone. So this creature who has been hypnotically patterned by you, Jack, he's just going to chill out, right? Yeah, no saves on your turn or nothing.

It's one of my favorite bits about this spell. Cool. I love the satire idea. This giant hyena-shaped demon basically just sits down in the snow and starts looking up at the sky. Red, what do you do next? Red moves about 20 feet to his right. He's still a great distance from the majority of these creatures, but he is now within 60 feet of the big head hauncha who's awake.

I'm going to cast Fairy Fire on him. It's going to be a deck-saving throw with a low DC, but it's just a bonus action. Here we go. Nine. That fails. Failure. It is outlined in Fairy Fire and every attack against it has advantage.

Dang. Is that the first time you've used Ferry Fire Effectively with Asta? No. No, I've used it many times. It's been a hot minute, though. But it's been a hot minute because the D.C. is so low on it. And there's no way to like, I want to bring it to a craftsmith and be like, raise the DC on this, please. Here's 2,000 gold.

That is a natural one. No. On the Roan with advantage. So are these humanoid creatures? They are. It's going to be a 24 to hit. Yeah. Yes.

That's the kind of stuff we're talking about. That's the ticket. 22 damage. Excellent. And I'm going to attack again. All right. All right. I also rolled another natural one on the same dye that rolled a natural one last time.

That's like the opposite of what I was doing to Justin with a mammoth. And a 15 on the other. So that's a dirty 20. Nice. Yeah, you hit. Sweet. And that's going to be 24 damage. Nice.

Nice. So like that was clutch. Yeah. And he's still outlined in Fairy Fire. It doesn't get to save on it or anything like that. Hit the big one now. He's going to go down extra easy. Doran, it's your turn.

What do you do while you're stoned? He fucking hears wolves, man. You look beside you. There's a hyena demon, just chilling. Yeah, but he's like got big sparkly eyes. And he's got a big silly smile on his face. He looks like a carnival animal, carnival. Yep.

Kralath, it's your turn. You start your turn by healing five. That's awesome. Kralov looks back and he sees this leader shrouded in the fairy fire. And he turns back to the, the knoll and he smirks and he just turns around and starts walking towards this leader again with the bandolier he's gonna take a opportunity attack against you yeah that's fine crelock doesn't care fuck seven yes as he misses my back as i turn away he tries to bite you and you just walk away

my scythe slashes behind him yes so well that's awesome 24 to hit you can't you can't can't walk away from me. 13 points of damage plus four. So 17 points of damage. Sick. What do you do? As I turn away from the rider

that attacked me and move towards the leader, as I get close to the leader, my hands begin to shroud in a dark, purple, and black energy. And I reach my hand out

and with this swipe of my hand, I'm going to cast inflict wounds as a level three. Nice. 22 to hit. Mm-hmm. That hits. The fairy fire that is outlining this creature starts to sizzle on its skin as your additional energy just sucks the life force out of him.

And he's going to take 31 points of damage. Fuck. That's awesome. Great job. Wow. Good style round. The creature that you just walked all. cool away from is just going to run

straight up to you and try to kill you now. Let's see if I can make it happen. No. I used up all my good roles at the beginning when I had disadvantaged. 11 to bite you. 11 to claw you. Oh, natural 20.

It doesn't have to be though. It is not going to be. I'm going to cancel that natural. Poor Joe. What did your new goddess say? She was like, I'm going to make you more powerful. Come to the dark side. So you take a paltry eight slashing damage. It's the giant dude with the handelier's turn.

He's got this flail with the smoking skulls on the ends of it, or have you forgotten? Smoking. He's directly beside both Kralov and Doren, and he's going to make an attack against Kralath with this smoking flail. The Daya. 26 to hit you. That's a hit.

Make a wisdom saving throw. I don't want to. You gotta. It's your job. Natural one. Yes. Oh, no. All right.

You take 15 bludgeoning damage. And you now must make a melee attack against a random target within your reach on your next turn. That could work out to you. 33% chance.

Yeah, that's pretty good, actually. If you have no targets within your reach, even after moving, you lose that. action on your turn. So that's your action next turn. I must make a melee attack against someone in my reach. It can be him though. It can be the enemy. It's randomly chosen. It's like roll a deed six or whatever and yeah. Gotcha. Okay. Cool. Then it raises its flail again and tries to hit you. Oh, okay. You see a different smoking skull come crashing towards you. This one's

magenta. 22 to hit you. That's a hit. All right. This one is the flail of pain, by the way, just so that we all know, which flail it is. 10 bludgeoning damage plus 22 psychic damage. Whoa. Okay. So Krayloth sees the flail coming. He knows he's not going to be able to get out of the way in time. And he, just very subtly, you can see a smirk form on his face as the mace connects and

Krayloff collapses to the ground. Oh, shit. You're conscious? unconscious. I'm unconscious. Oh, no. All right. Wow.

So we don't have to worry about that attack next turn, right? Yeah. See, look at how many actions we get them to waste. What? Yeah. What? What? Red scans the horizon past Jack and ignores the game.

Finally, the creature uses his last attack, the last head on his flail, to hit Doren beside him. Sweet. Dorin's back in the party. That's actually a good thing, right? 19 to hit you, Dorn. It does. The creature hits you, Doran, with its flail of, well, I'll tell you. Make a constitution saving throw.

Okay. Use your advantage. I know you're pretty constituted. I forgot, but I don't even need to. I did forget, but 26. All right. Good. Never mind.

It was good, but I, you know, I probably would have had you said it a second earlier. You take nine bludgeoning damage. Nine. Nice. Jack. What do you? do. Man, I'm staring down the tusks of this mammoth, and I don't like it one bit. Mm-hmm.

But you can't kill a helpless mammoth. Well, this is the thing. And it's a trained beast of burden. And so I am going to Misty step onto its back where the rider was before. And I want control of this thing. I want to be riding it. Can I animal handling, be, make this my mount. I've got inspiration and a plus one wisdom that I want to ride a mammoth. Do it. I want this. I, I want this. I succeed or fail, but both, I don't know which I want more, to be honest, because both would be really fun. It has to be extreme.

Make an animal handling check with disadvantage because you are its opponent. But using inspiration, can I negate that out to... That's the role. Absolutely what you're going to do. Let's see what happens. Oh, boy, 17. Oh! Doesn't really know any better.

You're on its back. You misty step up onto this mammoth's back. and it raises up onto its back legs for a moment and its front legs kick in the air and it trumpets and then it heavily returns back to the earth and shakes a little bit and you remain seated atop this mammoth.

We got this buddy, we got this. Let's go. Easy now, easy now. Jack has equestrian experience. Is that what's going on here? Well, I was going to say, it would be different if it was one of us doing this, But we've all ridden horses.

Like, in this world, we're all very familiar with riding beasts. So it's not like, you have no experience, right? We'll see how far this goes. Easy now. Oh, it's not a horse. Never mind. Someone do a mammoth sound. Alex.

All right. You get inspiration again. You get your inspiration back. Good job. So Jack hops up on a mammoth. Easy does it. Takes control. Great.

Pulls out to Zan's wand out the side of the thing. Loads up every magic missile he's got and starts blasting. I think he's going to use his level four magic missile. He's going to juice it with a third first level spell. And yeah, we're going to see what we can do with this. God, I wanted to trample you to death so bad with that mammoth. I know. Who do you kill with these magic missiles?

Well, I can split them up, I hope. My intent here is to focus on the one with the handelier, and when he goes down, switch the rest to the guy north of him. You could just hit Dorn with all of them. I could, but I don't want to. 18 for the first magic missile. 8. 20. 24?

That does it. Nice. Then the next 40 to the other guy. Cool. Beautiful. So Jack hops up on a mammoth, pulls out DeZan's wand, gives a lookout and just fucking starts blasting as these things are... While the mammoth is rearing back, these like missiles are just zinging around his head

like under a tusk over the trunk. Absolutely. Just arrows flying of their own volition, bending space and time, smashing the two knolls that are there. Unfortunately, mammoths don't love magic missiles and you've spooked this animal. He's going to try to shake you off his... back. I want you to make an athletics check to try to stay

mounted. All right. That was a horse. That was a horse. It was like my mammoth horse Scooby-Doo. I'm 19. Yeah, you're fine.

You just flexed your powerful thigh muscles. Jack's muscles, which have never before appeared in Dysham's entire history, have manifested today. Like the first like hard muscle from being out in the wilderness all year has like shown up as he holds on to this mammoth um the creature then kind of bewildered uh is going to take a couple of paces back in the snow um just kind of backing up from this whole magic missile scenario so jack you move back atop this

mammoth 30 feet whoa easy stop hold up nay yeah yeah rears once more heavily landing down on the the snowy ground. Okay, I'm just going to skip past the creature's turns who are incapacitated. It is Red's turn. What do you do, Red? What's the plan, Jack? Which one shall I take down? One at a time.

Red turns his bow towards that large creature, the snarling beast. And he's also going to use one of his charges to try to cast fairy fire on him again. All right. No, fail. It failed? Mm-hmm. Perfect. So now the creature again is outlined in a dark red glow.

Everyone who attacks has advantage on it. Fuck yeah. Red pulls back and fires at the creature to wake it and hopefully kill it. It's going to be a dirty 20. Nice. Yes. 16 damage. Excellent.

And I'm going to attack again. Your arrow pierces through its fur and you see it shake awake and look around ferociously. Wake up, doggie. That's going to be a 23. Mm-hmm. I'm my head. 25 damage. Excellent.

And that is it. I use my bonus action and two actions. Doran. What do you do? Doran wakes out of his trance to see Jack's flexing, bulging quadricep. As his legs squeeze the neck muscles. We can get those muscles. That's what truly woke him.

And he watches the beast stumble and rear up and move backwards as he lifts his axe above his head. and attacks this hound scorpion beast. Mm-hmm. 24 to hit. Absolutely. Doing 19 points of damage. Yeah, chop it to bits. Orxplitters loving this.

And attacking again, maybe not so lucky this time, doing 14, sorry, 15. To hit? To hit. Yep. Does it hit? Mm-hmm. Oh, wow. With another full damage, 19 points of damage.

back yeah doren and get them the creature's just barely clinging to life now it's its fur is spattered with blood it's coming out of its mouth in these hot spattering gasps all over the snow and it looks at you with fire in its eyes crayloth it's your turn so crayloth is lying on the ground and a warmth radiates through his body and he opens his eyes in the snow and sees Doran's feet right in front of him as he spars with this

hell beast and looking up at the beast that is just barely clinging to life Kralov is going to try and subtly cast sacred flame on it Dexterity save? Yeah, that's a dex save.

Oh, that's a natural one. Oh! Oh, okay. I'm shaming this dice, guys. This dice has been crap for me all game. We haven't had a good dice shame in a while. Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame that dice.

I'm so sorry. All right, so that's a fail. All right, so an eldritch green flame erupts around this creature enveloping the red that it naturally emits, and it's going to take 16 points. damage. Mm-hmm. What does it look like when you kill this fiend? It begins to writhe in agony as it's being burned in unnatural ways that it doesn't

understand. And it collapses to its front paws and tries to pull itself back up and then fully collapses onto the ground a serpent-like tongue lolling out of its mouth. Awesome. Awesome. Good job. That's wicked. That's wicked.

Woo-hoo. A mammoth rider's turn. Jack, what do you want to do way up there? Easy, buddy. I just want to like stay calm and not move. Easy, but I'm going to maybe start whispering in its big ears in Elvin, just a really calming, soothing, like... Mammoths love Elvin. It's, you know, it's just the most soothing language Jack knows, and so he's just going to, like, whisper sweet, like, it's okay now.

I can't imagine what living with these creatures was like. but it's going to be fine. Just relax. It's okay. It's going to be over soon. You're going to have such a better life now. It's got like a rib cage just like tangled around one of its tusks. Yeah, it's all bad news.

And I'm like sitting up here. There was a guy riding up here. He did not take very good care of this. There was no. There was no brushing down with like ridden hard, put away wet kind of thing. It's bad news. Written hard, put away wet. Keep my concentration and keep everything under control.

Jack's whole action is like, don't fuck around. Try and make sure this guy doesn't do anything. I trust them to take care of the rest of this. All right, Jack, you hang out on top of your new best friend. Make an animal handling check. I'd love to. Eight. No.

The mammoth begins to move off into the bushes. Whoa, no, no. Jack on top of him. It may surprise you, but mammoths do not know Elvish. Red, what do you do? Red aims his bow at the one closest to him. And he casts Hunter's Mark. Mm-hmm.

And he's going to attack. Nine to hit. You miss. Yeah, that makes sense. I'm going to use my inspiration and attack again. That's going to hit. It's going to be a 21 to hit. Yes.

That's 20 damage. Cool. You kill this guy. Yeah. What does it look like when you just totally murder one of these guys? I mean, pretty uneventful, sadly. They're not moot. Red almost feels bad about it.

These things are very animalistic, similar to Red. They're way more savage, obviously. But, like, this thing is standing there. And I almost feel like there's a hesitancy. Like, Red has his bow trained at the back of this thing's head. It's not even turning. And he sort of looks to Jack, who's riding on this mammoth to the north. And he's like, do I just take him out?

And there's like a moment where no one says anything. And Red sort of panics and looks. And he just loses the arrow. And it just sinks through the back of its head. Well, that's why you missed the first one. Yeah. Because it's so weird. Yeah, yeah, that's a good point.

It's a weird moment where they're all frozen in time and we're just like taking him out. He feels weird about it. So you take the one down and in your peripherals you see Doron who's kind of like at this point wiping his blade and he looks over and sees you and he just kind of gives you a nod as if you know this is the right thing to do because then Doran stands up.

Yeah, it's your turn. And walks towards one of these creatures, stands behind him and attempts to be here. head the creature, as honorable as possible. But you're literally three and a half feet tall and this creature's head is six feet off the ground. So honorably, you jump as high as you possibly can. Yeah.

And then swing a magical axe that's screaming at you and it. Honorably. Hitting it with an 18. That's right. You hit. And then doing 13 points of damage. Mm-hmm. Does that kill it or no?

No, you only get halfway through the head. Halfway through the head. Yeah. Hack it again. Hitting it with a 27. Mm-hmm. And another 13 points of damage. Yeah, that'll do it.

Yeah. It's a two-hitter. Yeah. So it sort of like stumbles and wakes up a bit. And then I'm like, before it can really pay, you know, know what's going on. It's like slaughtering cattle. As it falls to the ground, I look at Redd again and I give the same sort of knowing

nod. Yeah, and Red sort of like looks almost ashamed and he sort of like nods back. Yeah, it's a shame. It's a shame. It's not a proud thing. It's like a shameful. It's not a proud death. We need to do this, you know. Kralath, what do you do? He pushes himself up and shakes off some snow

and then stands up and then looks at this final Knoll. It's just standing there, right? Yeah. You almost detect a hint of fear in its face, but mostly it's just vacant. Huh. And Kralov walks toward it and turns to Doren and Red and says, what should we do with it? I didn't even see you there. Are you?

You okay? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm fine. I think we should, uh, I think we should kill it like the other ones. I mean, if the roles were reversed, you know. And while Doren's talking, he casts inflict wounds. and kills at mid-sentence. Ooh, doesn't even care enough

to hear what Doran has to say. How much damage do you do? 28 points of damage. Yeah, you kill it. It slumps to the snow in a pool of blood. Well, I know what you were going to say, Dorn, don't worry, I agree.

Just before you... It's dead, Doren. Yeah. It's dead. Should we go get Jack? Red! Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters. Christopher Ryan Evans, Alexander Reed, Merlin, Mitchell Cadwell, Michael and Brianna Weber,

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