Dice Shame - 137 | 'Tricks of the Trade'

Episode Date: May 26, 2022

Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module!Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously.Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!?Content Warning: swearing, violence, horror, mental illness and suicide. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Does anybody else feel like, oh, finally we've got these artifacts? And then we can, I don't know, open up a restaurant. That's the one. So it's not like I would want to move back there tomorrow. You know, it's quite beautiful, actually. I'm sure he's fine. Doran, have you been drinking table wine again? Which is a good distraction.

We're just here for the giants. We have to bring them back to the temple. Look, we all have regrets. It was not a great time. Well, we didn't really meet anybody. It looks like you've got a story to tell. So I never really like to name the Nightstone Four that much anyway. Well, we should pick a new one then

Let's go with Doren and the Cranbeck Wineskins Welcome back to Dishame This is episode 137, Tricks of the Trade MVP this week is Jay Gunner Who left us a glowing review on Apple Podcasts They wrote a great combination of humor and stories storytelling, highly recommended. Thanks, Jay.

Hello from the Hallow Woods is an award-winning queer horror fiction podcast. This Nightmarish show broadcasts three weekly stories directly to your dreams, exploring the lives of LGBTQ-plus survivors as they grapple with twisted wildlife, the instrumentalist, and other terrors in the forest at the end of the world. Check it out if you want to chill. All right, shall we do this? Yeah, let's do it. Oh, springtime is amazing.

Oh, yes. Isn't it? It's not here yet. I mean, it's really flirting with the idea of being here. Yeah. Saturday is like supposed to be the earliest you can see the cherry blossoms in high park. It's going to be like 15 degrees. Yeah.

I was at walking Louis, and there was a Robin on the ground in front of us, and it didn't fly away. And then the bird was like, cheap, cheap, cheap, like lost his mind. flew away at the last second. I'm like, what's with this bird? Because there was a little egg on the ground. And I think the bird was trying to get us to follow it instead of investigate its little. But I mean, if there's an egg on the ground, it's fucked, right? You got to eat it.

You could put it back in it. It's the law. You have to eat the robin's egg. I learned you're not allowed to fuck with them. They're protected robins. They're migratory. Really? Yeah, because I learned this this week.

because we've got a big tank out of service at work, and so we're doing some work on it. And don't we find a nest in some of the machinery? And so now all the contractors take pictures of this nest. It's a robin. Turns out, like, you cannot move that nest. We can't put the nest back in service because robins are protected, migratory birds.

Yeah. I know very few things about anything, and for some reason I knew that as well. Really? I don't know why. Yeah. This was news to me this week. I never thought they were terribly spectacular.

I would bet it was probably a similar situation where some random shit happened and I was like at work 10 years ago and I was like oh yeah we've got to move that thing because that for some reason. It's funny you say that because I avoided them becoming a bird lawyer, a criminal because we've got it and Robin that builds a nest just like in our back door like right at the top of the back door. Oh, you should still kill that thing. And I was going to pull it down. And then we were like, no, I'll just leave it. But I kind of feel bad because it's like that we keep our recycling and the little great compost been out there. So we're always going out of the back door. Do you get dive bombed by the mama bird every time you?

Not yet. Not yet. Yeah, that's what happens. Give it time. Justin. We had a nest at my place under the stoop. And it was those two years ago. And every time me or my roommate would come back home, both of the Robbins would leave the nest and just start dive bombing us. Wow.

It was scary at first. I'm pretty sure Robbins explode on impact. It just blew dye everywhere. It's speckled. It's quite a sight. Well, I've been talking to it. It felt like tippy hedron. Ew.

Tipy hedgerin? What's that? It's an actress. Come on, from the birds, guys. Oh, thank you. I didn't know her name. I was confused that the reference. Not in that movie.

Eventually she did. I didn't feel like going down that path. I was still on the old time. Rob has been taking some great pictures of spring. I've seen them. Yeah, Rob. A new camera. It's true.

I commented on your photos and you deleted the comments. I did not. How dare. Why did you do that, Rob? I didn't, but I should go find the comments because they really added a lot of value to those photos. I think I commented on two pictures of fish and I wrote fush. And then I wrote big fush. What's funny is it's just a smaller fish zoomed in more.

That's the part that really got me is this. So I'm not wrong Because technically I'm looking at a smaller fish bigger It's still big Yeah I guess If you really want to It felt really good

No we went to I don't know Because they were like six days old And no one had commented or liked And I was like I got to say something So I wrote fish Then I spelt it wrong quickly

And I was like I'm going with it It was really fun We went Double down Fush We went to Kingsville For a couple of days

Sitting on a cottage At the side of the Lake Erie And went to like Point Pee And Peeley Island and the southernmost bits in Canada you can get. And there were a bunch of little fishes and great egrets and blue herons and all kinds of cool stuff. Fish is fish. I think both are correct, aren't they? But I always say fush.

I say fush is the plural. I mean, it's a very regional, very regional dialect. That's right. That's right. You use that excuse a lot. Very regional. Oh, you catch there a fush there. As he's there with this.

That's a nice little fush. Fush. So why do you take pictures of fish and birds? Fush. So fush and bards. Because I've become old, I think. There's definitely crossing a threshold where I never used to care. But now they're like right outside the door at my, you know.

And so I might as well if I'm working from home, get up and take a walk around and stare at the Cardinals or something. I'll be on the phone with my mom and she'll be like, yeah. And then I went down to, she's, oh, Brian, there's a, look, look, look. Cardinals, there's three of them and she'll just start talking about the birds that she sees. Relatable to you or to me? Well, no, my, my grandma was big into birds

and like really, really gave a shit about a lot of them. And I didn't for a long time until I don't know. This, I think it maybe is a pandemic thing. I think maybe that's what happened. Okay. You know what? I have to bring something up. Uh-oh.

So we haven't had intros for a while. and there's a few reasons behind that and I'm going to be putting this into the intro Let's unpack it But one of the biggest reasons is that we started repeating stories And this is one of them Verbatim Rob has said this before That he's turning into an old person

And that he is like And I remember what else is there to say about the birds All there is about it I have no issue with it I'm just laughing because I didn't realize it Until the good minute in this conversation I was like oh shit we have said this before Have I also

said the birder thing. Have I also asked... Yes, you've also talked about Tipihedrine. No, I didn't. I didn't know tip... No, I did not. No.

Because I did not know Tipihedrin until like last week. Oh, then maybe you... You only watched the birds last week? No, it was in a book I narrated. The Kevin Andrew Murphy one. Oh. Nice.

That's gonna make it in. I think what we need to start doing... That's going in. Is we need to like watch a movie... Together? No, well, separately. But then our interest can be two. So we have now two parts.

We have the main show, but then the first 10, 15 minutes of every show, we just talk about the movie we watch. So we have a movie review packed into Dice Shame from here on it. And slowly, we like make it like this thing about movie reviews and then Dice Shame just visible that. And then the role game becomes less and less and less. It's like a magic show. In a way, we'd be doubling down, right? So maybe our intros get really popular to the point where we can be.

do a second show, just movie review. So I'm calling it now. Let's just try the movie thing because it's a suggestion and it's better than nothing. So within the next... I watched Sound of Music. Got to the Nazi part. That's the best part. I've never seen the birds.

I'd watch the birds. It's probably short. I don't watch the start of the sound of music. I just watch the end part because that's the best. That's the best part. That's the satisfying. Who needs all the past. Doral and the nuns.

There's not even any movies I really want to see that I would recommend not instinct. Should we play some D&D boys? Yeah! Yes! Let's do it. Yeah! The high forest is still and quiet under the moonlight of early hammer. So deep in midwinter, the night seemed to last forever.

Perhaps you're feeling somewhat accomplished, with the four giant relics tucked neatly away in the portable hole, but the woods around you seem as an... enchanted as they did back in the autumnal bliss of shadow-top cathedral. Snow crystals shimmer in every moonbeam. The stars glitter in a navy ocean. The woods around you are awash in a dreamlike peace. Despite this peace, you know you're not far from Beirun as well.

It's past midnight. Are you playing on camping for the night where you are? Do you want to make some more space between yourselves and the barbarians? What's your plan? I think we should make a little bit more space between ourselves and the barbarian, Red says, completely unprompted. And, you know, I'm feeling really good about this, guys. We have the items.

Yeah. Back on to Evelyn and then to Mesobaransian. Nope, Mazepan, nope. Mirabar. Oh, excuse me. That's the one. Mirabar. Back to Mirabar, and then on up to the spine of the world.

Mm-hmm. I think we might be turning a new leaf. I agree with you. Yeah, we're probably just going to save the world in the next. week or so. Yeah. That's a realistic goal to set. And then we can, I don't know, open up a restaurant. Restaurant, really? Is that still on your to-do list, Greylaw? Oh, yeah, sure. It just seems like your attitude as of late, is lean less towards cooking. I still like to cook. I mean, yeah, I don't know. I guess I'm just kind of tired of, well, this could use a change of scenery. We've been traveling for a long

Well, it feels like a long time, but really, it's only been what? A couple of months. A couple of months. God, I'm too old for this. Maybe I do need to retire. Well, I mean, I just mean to say that your joie de vivre, as it were, it seems too dimmed over the last little bit. That's not a judgment. I mean, we've all dimmed in one way or another.

Some of us in the intellect, Red says, and pokes himself in the eye. Yeah, I mean, I died a week ago, so that kind of was a bummer. But since then, it's kind of been up and down. down and today I'm just kind of feeling you know a little like neutral thank you doran from the back of the pack pipes up you know it's sort of ironic considering the fact that we are carrying around four of these heavy heavy heavy giant artifacts I certainly feel like a weight's been lifted off my shoulders like does anybody else feel like oh finally we've got these artifacts we can move on and do what we have to do what do we have to do next what's next

darn have you been drinking table wine again we have to bring them back to the temple i don't know that i want to count the chickens before they've they've hatched i remember coming in this direction when i felt pretty high in the sky and then our balloon crashed and got blown up and we lost the relics and it was not a great it was not a great time and that was not very long ago so if we can make it safely to Everland and back through Mirabar rendezvous with Harshnag, figure out what the Oracle wants us to do next. Maybe we'll

we've got to find some conches to stop the giants because ultimately this is just about pleasing the Oracle to get their help and that's... True, but unless the ground is going to fall out from under us, then we're going to be fine. It's not like the same as the airship. Obviously that was

a little bit more tumultuous of a situation being at the back in call of a dragon cult. But Yeah, we're on our own. In the woods, Red says his voice echoing. Yeah, in a sort of an eerie silence. Anyway, yeah, we should make camp for the night once we cover a little bit more distance. Maybe we should just hike through the night.

Oh, you're in a rush now? Look, we've, well, well. No, but it's, you know, it's quite beautiful, actually. It's calm. Hey, wasn't this the woods where we camped and that big old creature leaned up against the bubble and we got to see his underbelly? Oh, is that this woods? With the fairies, right?

It was a few months to go back on the west side of the forest, I think. Yeah, the high forest is pretty big. We saw some fairies and stuff. I recognize that tree read points to a nearby tree. Yeah, that time one does look familiar, but it looks like that one. Yeah, and that one, too, actually. What kind of tree is it? Caniferous.

Yeah, I think they're all kind of the same in this part of the wood. Got it. Good job. Good job, Red. Inspiration. So you head west a little bit? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I wonder how things went to Jalenthar. What happened to the rest of the dwarves? Yeah. I'm sure we'll find out if we're heading back to Everland. It seems like that place has got a good pulse on the surrounding area.

We should let them know that the Jalenthar dwarves have been disbanded. People can go back to their homes. That's kind of big news. Yeah. I get to tell them. It's not like the land has been pacified. They lit a bunch of fires and left a bunch of meat. and giants overran it.

So it's not like I would want to move back there tomorrow without having an army to come help make sure it was safe. True. Some people are glass half full people and other people. A jack. And as you say that, Red, Doran's like finishing his wine skin. He's like, oh, well, I'll tell you this much of the wine skin's empty. But there's something that's bothering me.

It's, um... So I want to notice the trunk of Doran gets the more he sounds like. Grover. People? Who's Grover? Oh, he's from an old Mazdican play. Oh. Manana.

Those Mastikins. Origin stories. No, anyways. It's kind of bothering me because they were calling the Jalletar Dwarves, the Nightstone Four. It didn't make any sense. There's a lot more than four of them. We have to do something about that and clear our name.

I mean... No? I don't care. I would love to. Nothing would make me happier. I'd be able to spend some time here and set this area right. but I think our bigger priority is to put our pride down, bite the bullet to some people wrecked our name, and go sort this giant ordaining out first, because ultimately, I think

that will save more lives. Who? Agreed. And also, I never really like the name the Nightstone Four that much anyway. Well, we should pick a new one then. Let's go with Doran and the Cranth and the Wineskins. I love that red and Doran both go for their names and the blanks. I mean, how about we?

fucked up at Dondglow. Yeah. Or, uh, we're just here for the giants. No, no, I'm just teasing. Look, the truth is the Knights Don't Fall does apply to us whether we like it or not. Eventually, eventually, we will need to reclaim it so that people don't fear us when we ride through. It's just stuck.

So, yeah, we'll do it after the ordinary, you know, in 20 years. Doran's bit the cork out of the wine bottle that he's had in his pouch that he got from Jack's mom's house. And he's pouring it into his wine skin. I do feel like this is the third time you've used the last bottle from Jack's mom's house. And that's perfect. I keep pulling it out. He's changed it to a decanter of endless wine. Yeah. Oh, that'd be cool. Anyway, let's just keep walking. So you guys head through the forest. You make camp for the night. And the next day dawns, you continue to head west, not following your footsteps exactly, maybe aiming to circle. Convent the burned husk of Jalanthar.

The weather is unseasonably pleasant, though still freezing. Your travels are unacosted by any blizzard or storm. Wow. We should really hike in these forests more often because it's quite beautiful in here. Kind of nice to just walk. You know, so much of our last few months has been zip-zapsabooey from here to there that it's kind of nice to just stretch my little paws again. Right, Jack?

Yeah. Kieran is merrily trotting through the undergrowth, fantail wagging, tiny hat perched on their head. I mean, the nice part about the unseasonably nice weather is it's great to make a snowball and have them try to catch it out of the air. Like there's a pretty good amount of throw it on up ahead and see if he can jump and get it before it hits the ground, which is a good distraction for busy minds.

Yeah. Right, Shale? Red Pigs another small animal and feeds it to Shale, the little hokling that's, Big enough now that it's clearly weighing red down as we walk. The straps on your baby Bjorn are straining. The visual of this Humberhawk stuffing a whole pigeon into its mouth. coughing out two feathers just got to me.

I'm definitely this thing's mother. Jack, maybe while you're throwing snowballs for Kieran, Kieran is up ahead and red, you're finding game for shale. A leafless oak tree to your left. scrapes at the sky with its branches and hanging from a thick limb a large teardrop-shaped parcel swings gently

and from within as you get closer you hear a muffled voice call out to you hey hey up here hey you guys hear that shale you spoke to me I don't think that was shale red

hey no we heard you we heard you we heard you Who's talking? Do you need help down? Yeah, can you help me down, please? Who's talking? I'm in a real pickle up here. Look up there in the bundle there, Redd.

Wait, what is that? Can I roll perception? Dorn, like, cranks his head. Yeah, you can roll perception. 17. Red, you can see with your keen eyes, this teardrop-shaped parcel appears to be made of a woven rope net and contains something large and hairy.

The fur that pokes from the spaces in the net appears to be blue-gray, and there are some fabric evident inside as well, maybe clothing. Hey, there's a person up there. What do your keen eyes see? That, look. And I point. It's only like 50 feet above us. Huh? I know your neck doesn't turn up, Doran. Just lie on your back on the ground. Doran can't look up. Yeah, it's just... What is it? Too stubby? His neck is too thick. He can't turn. He's like Joe Rogers. What is it, though? It's like head and shoulders. Yeah, literally had How'd you get up there, friend?

I can tell you the whole story When I'm back down on the ground, please I just, I can't feel my legs No, hold on a second I'll get you Jack Just cut me loose Hold out Deson's wand

Oh, hold on, hold on Red holds up his hand Just wait a second We don't know who this is Don't go helping him, he's in a net What if he's there for a reason? Oh yeah, yeah, that's right We have to be careful.

Don't things, remember? Krayloth casts sacred flame on the rope, and it collapses to the ground. Oh, chaotic. Krayloth, what the hell? We clearly outnumber him. I don't think we have anything to worry about if it is like that. Is he okay?

That's a big fall. I'm sure he's fine. We also don't know who we might be pissing off by cutting someone down who might have put him up there, Krayloth. You use your head next time. Oh, that's future Krayloth. problem. No, it's our problem and you're making it our problem by not listening to us. It's rude. I don't like that. What was that? It's rude. I don't like that. Oh, I didn't hear you. I'm going to rush over

to the guy who has just been thrown under the ground from high up a tree and make sure he's still breathing. Step one. Yeah. This parcel, this net, falls heavily to the ground and the creature inside does not move. Great. Let's keep going, everyone. We fucked up. And Kralath walks over next to Jack, kneels down, pulls the netting off, and, yeah, what am I looking at here? Kralath, you reveal a tall humanoid, maybe of a size with you, completely covered in shaggy, livid fur that darkens to navy in places shorter on its face and hands, with a bulbous nose and surprisingly deft-looking fingers. Their eyes are partly closed, seemingly dead to the world. They're clothed in a dark green tunic and belt and leather breeches, but their chest rise and falls, clearly not dead, maybe stunned or unconscious.

He's alive. He'll be fine. Yeah, what kind of creature is this, Jack? I don't know. Do I recognize him? You can roll a nature check. I'd love to. 13. Definitely a humanoid of some kind. You're not familiar with this sort. They're of the world, but yeah, we'll have to have them tell us their whole story. Maybe I'll recognize them.

Red walks over, and I'll do the same. What is in the nature roll? Yes, please. 18. With an 18 red, maybe you've never met one, or maybe you have. It's up to you. This creature is called a Furbolg. They are a large race, typically.

Some people say that perhaps they are descended long ago from giants, so it makes sense that you're familiar with them maybe in passing. Oh, cool. That makes sense, yeah. That's a Ferbulg. A Furbol. Hey, you're there. their friend.

Doesn't look like a fur ball. He's hairier than you, Doran. Yeah. Well, he's a little hairier. I mean, Doran, like, puts his arm out. He takes that as an insult. What do you do? Do you try to wake him?

Do you search him? Do you... Kraloth will pat his shoulder and kind of smack his cheek a bit. It's like, come on. Come on. Come on. Wake up. Wake up.

You're all right. Hey, hey, hello. Hello. He slowly rouses back to the world and looks blearily around at the four of you. Oh. Sorry. Oh, thank you. Sorry about the rough landing there.

Oh, that's okay. I've, I've had worse. So, you're a furball. Furbulk. You know who I am. That's cool. Uh, sorry. My name is Baljor.

Oh, that's a nice name. Hi, my name's Red. This is my best friend Doran. This is my best friend Jack. And this is my best friend Kralath. Hey, I really appreciate you guys helping me out there. You didn't have to do that. And you just, you just went for it.

Why'd you get stuck up there? Oh, I mean, you guys are really nice people. Very trusting. I'm not. I obviously got caught in a trap. Stupid me. How'd you get stuck in a trap? Normally they don't exist unless they're trying to trap something.

Yes. I mean, I'm not an animal. This is totally a trap. That's not what I was saying. I think this trap was set up for animals, wouldn't you say? They're a large seven-foot animals. I think Doran Lake starts to inspect the tree. grab.

Good idea. What would that be in? Roll an investigation check. Investigating Doran. He pulls at a little magnifying glass. Sherlock Doran. A nine. He's like, well, it's rope.

That's for sure. Actually, that's not rope. It's like wrong. This net is well made. The rope is made of hemp. Dorn like picks it up and chews. on it a bit. He's like, hmm, yep. So it was Baldur? Baljor. Baljor The Baldurtheothion. Baljor. The Baldurtheathon. Sorry, I stumbled over my own name there. I mean, you've been.

I've been stuck up in the net for so long, yeah. Yeah, how long has it been? Since last night. Oh, okay. I really did a bad job of this one. What one? What did you mess up? I really shouldn't talk too much about it because I could get in big trouble, but I really appreciate you guys. You're among friends here? No, here, don't worry about it. Here, have a treat. What? I bake these this morning. You must be hungry.

He takes it from you and he smells it very, very carefully with his large nose. And he breaks it and he runs a finger along the crust of the biscuit and rubs the crumbs between his fingers. And then he

stands up and he kind of paces around the four of you. And you says um sorry uh where did you say you guys are from again i'm from water deep i don't know if i can eat this and i'm really sorry oh that's all right and krill takes it and eats it himself and you see like immediately a look of sadness across his face and krill you should pretend to die suddenly that would be good she hasn't got a beating heart from from water deep hey yeah that's that's Cool. That's pretty far away, right?

It is. I'm not very super well-traveled. Your turn. Yeah, where are you from? And Kralath walks behind him so that he's in between the group. And the name of a friend of mine caught in I and Joe, where did you come from and where did you go? They became more dwarven. Coulter-esque boulder fellow.

That just loses all of me. I love the name Coulter-esque Boulderfellow. I'm writing it down. Good. And the name of an old friend, Coltonite, drobe, where did you come from and where did you go? Where did you come from, Belge or Theothon? You got my name better than I did. Good for you.

I'm good with names. I guess it couldn't hurt to talk too much about that. I came from here. The High Forest is my home, though I guess you wouldn't really know it based on how good of a survivalist I am. And he looks up regretfully at the tree. Well, you survived, so it can't be that bad. How did you trigger the trap?

That's a great question. I was trying my best to be observant. But it was dark and classic, right? You see here? And he goes over the trap, and he starts explaining how it was constructed. This is the trip line here. It's got a noose around the bottom, and then it's pulled in place with this thin twig, which I must have dislodged with an errant footfall, clearly. It hoisted me up, and then up there, there is the mechanism that throws the net on you and left swing.

Do you know who made the trap? I may have been set up, and I'm pretty pissed about it. about it, honestly. I'm a little ticked off. This is supposed to be fair and square. And I think that there's something else going on here. And he looks accusingly at the surrounding woods. And if you can hear me, I am going to show you for sure. Can I roll insight on him?

Yeah, definitely. Ooh, 19 plus. six, 25. Fuck, yeah. This guy is clearly trying his very best to keep secret from you something that is important to be a secret, like some kind of something he's been entrusted with. But the way that he's acting right now indicates that he's part of something that he's consented to, and he is doing a bad job of it.

and he feels like he's failing. Well, it looks like you've got a story to tell, and we got a few minutes, and I got more treats. Well, we need to make camp somewhere soon anyways. We can start a fire. Yeah? Are you guys, so you guys are just traveling through the woods around here, right? Yeah, I mean, this is no shadow top cathedral, but I'm sure we can find somewhere comfortable for the evening.

Did you come directly from the east? Well, I mean, it's... It hasn't been a straight path, but... You didn't happen to see a teafling anywhere, did you? Teethling. Tall, tall, young man, red, skin, curling black horns, kind of an asshole. What's their name? It's not ringing a bell.

Last time I've seen a teafling. His name is kind of an asshole? Well, no, we didn't really see anybody. His name's thineelius. Thineelius. No, we definitely didn't meet any. Teavelings named Thineelius. Well, we didn't really meet anybody.

We've been hiking through the woods. Is he a, and Dorn is kind of looking at red for permission. Is he a barbarian of some sort? No. What? No. What's the word? What's the, not barbarian.

Oh, you're talking about the tribe that we just left? Yeah, what are they called? No. They were Barbary. Yeah. Yeah. Is it a barbarian or any, any, any, You were, you know, are you part of a barbarian tribe?

No. Hoping I don't get scolded. Not even scolded. It's just not. Oh, good. It's a very Doran question. Not part of a barbarian tribe. No.

Can he go invisible? Wait, you mean the Tifling? Yeah. No. I mean, that's basically the only shot that I have at this point is that I can do this. And he snaps his fingers and he turns invisible. Oh, that's right. Furbogues can turn invisible.

And then he snaps his fingers again and he's like, but that's basically. And I just fused it. I get one. And I just, I'm not thinking is the problem. What do we make? I can't, I'm not eating.

I'm not sleeping. I've been here three whole days. I can make a lovely safe space around a fire. Nobody be able to get in and get you. You can take an hour or two to collect your mind, figure out where you're at, be out of a tree and safe for a minute. I'm not supposed to get help, though, is the problem. And you guys, honestly, you seem really sweet.

and the fact that you let me down from the tree even to begin with should disqualify me so maybe I'm ruined anyway maybe this whole thing is already a bust or maybe you don't need to tell us exactly what maybe I could guess I can tell you're not telling us the whole truth

and I understand that there are certain things that can't be said so maybe I can just make vague references and you can tell us yes or no relief just washes over his face That's not That doesn't sound like it's against the law Of course it's not against the law Nor the rules

Right? Yeah There's also many ways of communication Like my friend here He can send messages directly to your brain No I can't Not you fuck off And Doran's like

I don't know magic for aid You're like it's panic Was I supposed to learn magic? Wait am I broadcasting my thoughts right now Oh no that's good look why don't we just start off with a few yes to no questions well jack sets up the camp if that's still something you want to do jack i don't know um jack right it's jack that's me yep is there a way that you can do it very and he gets very close to your face

and puts his giant blue face directly beside your giant i mean your regular size normal half L face, very discreetly. Yeah. The camp's invisible. Perfect. Okay. Yeah, we'll be under a snow-colored dome. You won't be able to see it.

Nobody could tell. This is amazing. Ah, thank you. Once we're in the dome of silence, you can feel comfortable. He makes a gesture and he says, praise Lira. Lira. Classic. And he kicks at the snow.

Doren looks over at the Jack. Pretend none of the, I didn't say that. Do I recognize the name Lira? You can roll a religion check. I'd love to. 31. Hey. You don't know all the top of your head.

I'm picturing a unicorn goddess, but. I'm picturing a doll. No. Jack, you know this to be, aka the Lady of Deception. Ah. Oh, ha. Lera worshippers practice trickery. They basically are known to be liars and very deceitful.

And if this creature is thanking this goddess, they at least ascribe to some of these. Yeah. Interesting. Don't love that, truthfully. But when in the high forest, I'm not going to react too strongly to that. going to continue to make camp until I get a moment to, maybe Reds come back with some piece of making camp and everybody else's scrambling around to get firewood or something. Sure.

Just a moment to say, hey, not for nothing. Yeah. When he said praise Lira over there, that's, you know, the lady of deception, the lady of the mists, the goddess of illusions. It's kind of a shady person, but I'm just throwing it out there because I don't want to. Yeah, no, I pegged him as a liar immediately as well. Whatever he's saying about not being involved in anything, he obviously... I don't want to get accused of tarring everyone with the same brush,

let alone someone worship an app actual devil, and we think they're a little sketch. I'm just throwing that out there, that's who he praised. Everyone slow pans towards Kralath. Kralov is eating treats. Or at the time the Asmodean worshippers, I got shit for eye and them a little bit, but that's fine. learning my lesson, just throwing that out there. Oh, you're saying that we shouldn't tar you with the feathers? Honestly, every time Jack comes up with like a worshipper of this, he's a little gun-shy.

I don't think there's anything wrong with framing it with information. We're not judging the guy, and I think you're right to not judge him, because that's what we're learning, not to judge people. But framing it is important. Framing that he believes somebody who has trickery is the master, and framing it that we know right now he's lying about what he's telling us, are both important. Do I trust him? No. Does he seem like a perfectly fine person?

Absolutely. Are we having this like open voiced conversation? He's just standing there like. I was just red and I. I thought it was red. I thought it was just you and me too. It's just red and Jack. Maybe Baljor and Kraloth are.

And Doran. They're making a fire. Yeah, the three of us. And Doran's like kind of talking Baljura's ear off. You know, there's so much of its track. They won't notice that Red and Jack or. regardless it's a good point and I don't think it's a good lesson and I'm not saying that we want to tar anybody framing is important though anyway I he did lie about whatever he said and I think I get the impression that

he doesn't want to overtly say it so I feel like in Mazica we used to play this game where if you spoke of it you were eliminated from the game you know it was sort of like a hide-and-seek certain thing it was a test of your stealth and dexterity and skill overall I'm wondering if it might be a similar thing, and I don't want to hurt his chances in anything major. So I feel like we could ask some questions that might make it easy for him. What if we framed it as like two truths and a lie? And it's just a game about having to guess which one of he's lying about, and you've got a pretty good sense of what he might say.

I think you could figure out which one. As long as he's okay, I would be more nervous that someone's watching him, and whether or not it's a lie, the minute the words leave his mouth, he becomes disqualified. What we could do is ask him things like, are you currently part of a game? Yes or no? Not or shake your head.

Well, I will leave it to you to take point. At least inside the tiny hut, we should be safe for most kinds of intrusion. Right. Or maybe, I mean, maybe inside the hut, he won't worry at all. But anyway, yeah, let's go get him. He's finally taken one of Crayalot's biscuits

and is chewing on it nervously. Poison damage. Oh, yeah, that's the poisoned one. And then after the war, I went back to the Grey Peak Mountains, and I was again a blacksmith because, you know, I enjoy it. It's like therapeutic to me. I can focus on my work, and people seem to enjoy the stuff I create. But then I was delivering some of these stuff. Hey, Valjo, come back in.

We want to talk to you inside the hut. Yeah, okay. Well, anyways, I met these three. And, yeah, and so here we are. He's gone, Doran. He went into the hut. Anyways, I just figure, at this point in my life, I'm happy just doing whatever, you know, I'm not quite... Doran's just sitting by the fire by himself, poking at it with a stick, still just talking, just by himself.

And I am, you know, I am resilient to poisons and whatnot. So Red Balder and Jack, enter the hut. Yeah, this lovely dome of white. against the constant chatter of Dora and Iron Fist from outside the tent We hear the following conversation Always fun to edit with a constant chatter He's trying to find a slot

That makes sense And another thing Yeah Battlejaw you can't be seen or heard in this Do you still want me to be cryptic Or do you feel comfortable to just tell us what's going on? I can tell you I know this is a tiny hut

Oh you know the spell I don't cast it person Personally, I'm just a novice, so I can't. I'm still accessing the depths of my untold powers. All right. Well, lay it on us, Stud. Why were you really in that trap? And why were you really trying to keep information from us? We know that you subscribe to something, whether it be some challenge or test or whatnot. And we know that you have a role in it. So lay it on us. As he speaks, he takes a seat cross-legged at one edge of the time. tiny hut and folds his hands in his lap. Where's the edge in a round room? God, he's good.

That's a mystery for the ages. Red goes insane. And his eyes searched the ceiling of this hut, looking up through this semi-translucent ceiling up to the canopy above. All my life, I wanted to be a part of the order of Rao. my grandmother was a member and well honestly i thought i was a shoe in because like furbul right you can turn invisible you can talk to plants if they're if they're feeling super chatty or uh you know illusory magic i got a little bit of that going on but i've been a novice for four years now

and that's more than anyone else so finally they said i could i could do the right i could do it um just just after you know the new year and and then they told me that i was going to be partnered against thineelius and i knew it was going to be trouble we have to stay out here within the prescribed area of the high forest for 10 days and we can't get caught in an illusion or a trap of any kind. That's how you win. And it's supposed to be one or the other that we get to ascend to the rank of apprentice or fall back to novicehood. And I just don't think I'm going to make it. Thinelius is a jerk. I think he set that trap for me and I've been doing my best to just find something to eat. And he's got like rope tricks. It's bad. It's really bad.

Red leans close to Jack and just whispers in his ear. I'm really glad that you and I are friends again. Aw. Just been thinking about that, sorry. And I go back to the other guy. Yeah, all that sounds pretty interesting. Can I roll insight on him? Absolutely.

That is a dirty 20. Underlining everything that he's telling you is regret. Regret that he's even had to rely on these outsiders. Regret that he's maybe even taken this path in his life. Regret that maybe Thineelius and him aren't friends. Just this furbulg in front of you is dripping with it. Seems like you regret a lot of your life, friend. Maybe. Who doesn't have regrets?

Jack. Wait. Yeah, Jack. Do you not have any regrets, Jack? Yeah, I mean, there's a couple of things I'd do different, yep. Like what? Tell us one thing. So one time I made a pact with an imp, then that was a real bad call. Oh, yeah! Those guys are assholes. Yeah, I got regrets, too.

Like what? What do you regret? Oh, one time I tried to ride a flats corn. Do you ever seen those? real pointy and they go right up your, and then I like scan to Jack, who's like looking disappointedly at me. Oh, and also I was an assassin for a ruthless guild for many years. Look, we all have regrets. The important thing is that, you know, we sort of self-realize whether or not the path we're on is the right path for us. That's definitely something that Jack and I have been questioning ourselves. I just want to make my family proud.

Right, but let me ask you a question, a real question. This order of Raoul or whatever. Is it really what you want to do with your life? Well, I think that maybe if I if I gain the rank of apprentice then I'll feel more like at home. I just haven't made very many friends, so... Right, right, right. But all that aside,

let's pretend for a second you were born where you were and you had no pressures from your family to support this order. What would you want to do? Where would you want to go? You said you hadn't been well-traveled and maybe that's your desire to stay in this forest, but is there any place you'd rather see, anything you'd rather do? I mean, maybe.

I've been kind of single-minded about this whole thing so far to tell you the truth. Wow, that's a really interesting perspective, Red. Well, look, I'm coming from a very recent admission to my friends here that the path I thought I had to be on was no longer the one I needed to walk. So, clearly it's rattling around my brain. I took it upon myself after a little bit of help by meeting some important, people that I wanted to do something different with my life. And all I'm asking is, look, maybe Thunelius or whatever his name is, is beating you at this because maybe he's sort of meant

to be part of this order. Like, he sounds like he's skilled. As much as you find him a jerk, nothing you've said makes us think he's a villain in any way. Yeah, I know. You're probably right. That's me again. Being a bad judge of character. What's the ethos of the order anyways? What's that word mean? It's like a sphere. What's the order of Raul all about? I mean, I'm not really supposed to talk about it again, but like, you guys seem really, really nice. You're like really nice.

It's kind of weird how nice you are being to me. We're having a whole moment. It's a building moment for us, so you found us on a good day. We killed a lot of innocent people to get here. Some of us have. Well, the order of Raul, we worship the goddess, I don't know if you've heard of her, but she's like known for like illusion magic and trickery. So we practice that as a mode of worship.

It's pretty harmless. We're actually, our order's not allowed to use any practical skills or abilities to like make money or gain power. So mostly we just, I mean, some measure of chaos can obviously be expected by that. but it's considered offensive to the goddess. So it's mostly kind of like an intellectual pursuit, honestly. I mean, this whole right seems a little bit beneath us, but I think it's probably just tradition at this point. Let me throw this at you.

And I'm by no means Illyron. But if the idea was you need to survive on your own here, there's no limits to what tools you can use. as I understand it, is that... Yeah. And such people who dedicated to trickery for you to be able to dupe and trick whoever you happen across into becoming the tools

you need to succeed at your mission, that doesn't seem beyond the realm. Like, it seems very of the ethos. So I don't think anything that's happened so far necessarily crosses a line. It might even be the intended lesson you're out here to learn. What if I tricked you?

you into helping me. I mean, maybe, but... As innocent passers-by with no idea of my true intention... Look, man, if you want to do that, sure. If you really want to belong to this order, you can. I think Jack and I are coming at this from two different perspectives, and I think Jack is entirely right. Understanding that that would mean that you really do want to do this with your life.

If that's true, and you're not feeling just the pressures of your family, as you sort of vaguely inferred, then absolutely, we can do whatever you want us to do. We don't give a shit. But if you're doing this just to appease your family or appease the small circle of influence that you've had, I strongly suggest there may be another way of just saying, fuck it, I'm going to go my own way and carve my own path towards whatever destination I want. There's so much out there in this world and the world's beyond and believe you, me, we've seen a few different versions of those so far

that can appeal to you and you seem like a person frankly not really interested in being as deceitful as this Lera might desire her followers to be

or you're the best and we've all been duped in which case you don't need to be talking to us right now because you've succeeded yeah I mean I think you're speaking a lot of truth thread. The problem is that I can't actually

leave the order until I ascend to the highest level or else, like, I have to keep the secrets and then do the right of ascension. Well, what's more trickery than just fucking off one day? Literally.

If you just start heading south, hell, we'll take you to the next town. We're heading to Evelyn. You could follow with us. Yeah, I'm sure... You're not wrong. I'm sure they... Hopefully they don't hunt you down and kill your friends or anything. I mean, they're a peaceful order If they went from

We don't use these beliefs to hurt people To we're gonna fucking kill one of our own I would be very hard-pressed It'd be a wild swing Okay Look, look, look The truth of the matter is Regardless of what Jack and I are saying, it's up to you

If you want to be part of the order Then we'll help you, sure, why not? If you think that there might be more for you Beyond these trees Then consider that and we can help you No matter one way here to help you. You let us know what you want. We'll make it happen. And if you really just want someone to talk, your ear off Doran's out there, I'm sure continuing this story. And then I met you

guys, and next thing you know, we're saving the world from giants of all things. Like, here's the smallest man, you know, trying to face the biggest man. Yeah. Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters. Christopher Ryan Evans, Alexander Reed, Merlin, Mitchell Cadwell, Michael and Brianna Weber, Brian Blass, Heather Nichols, Colin Burkart, Daniel, Harris Smith Blass, Doug, Gray, Jackie and Rain, Creature, Stephen Lovett, Jessica Orrett, Jonah Goldman, Melanie Cheyne, Lars, and Mari Kineski. See you soon! Thank you.