Dice Shame - 138 | 'Nobody's Fool'

Episode Date: June 2, 2022

Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module!Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!?Content Warning: swearing, violence, horror, mental illness and suicide. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If it's anyone's fault, it's Krayloff. I'm the deacon's favorite, though. I'm going to show you guys. I don't think he even tries. Should I talk to him? I don't care. We can join the Order of Raw. And then they'll speak the truth.

Oh, that's true. Making up names. We're not here for it. Don't worry, guys. I'll look for traps. Call us what you made. Stupid firing an arrow. Maybe you fell into our trap.

I'll be right back. You set me on fire. Hey, Baljaw, head back to your order. That would be a natural 20. Whoa! On the dine that I had in my little inspiration. Oh, thanks, Merlin. That's sick.

Welcome back to Dice Shame. This is episode 138. Nobody's Fool. MVP this week is Key, one of our great old ones to your Patreon supporters and who's been live vlogging their listen-through of the show. Thank you so much for all of your support and for hanging out with us, Key. The Silt Verses is a horror fantasy serial drama in which Carpenter and Faulkner, two worshippers of an outlawed god, travel up the length of their deity's great black river, searching for holy revelations. It's a show with brilliant concepts, amazing voice acting, and perfectly terrifying episodes that will linger with you well after you've finished. Check it out today at the siltverses.com and enjoy the horror.

Should we do it? Yeah, let's do it. Say what you will about the Nightstone 4. It cannot be overstated how much these guys love a good old-fashioned side quest. They find themselves in the high forest, having met their first Furbul, a sympathetic creature who has reluctantly spilled the beans about the mysterious order he belongs to, and the right he's undergoing as a means of passage into the next. next level of membership in that order, though it seems he's at a crossroads and must make a decision about the path his future will take. The Furbulk turns to you and says,

Do you guys mind if I sleep here? I've been sleeping in a tree and it sucks. Look, I don't want you to sleep with us for many reasons. But here's a great reason that I'm going to give you, because I think it makes sense right now. If you do end up wanting to be part of the order, tricking us or not, staying in a comfortable hut wouldn't really be the best way to do it. Just go sleep in a tree. Don't you live in the high forest? Well, like in a house, though? Yeah.

You want me to build a house today? I want you to do what your order is asking you to do if you think you want to be a part of them. I don't think you get to half-asset if you don't want to be a part of it. He looks regretfully at like your comfortable, cushy bed rolls. Well, that's it. Yeah. I mean, if they're like, go out there and camp for 10 days, You know, unfairness aside, you still got to do it for 10 days.

Yeah, I guess it really depends on the specific wording of the trial with which you have undertaken. You know, I think if part of the like con artist ethos of the Lerens is to like find the little loopholes, that's one thing. And at which point put your mind to finding the loopholes, friend, because you might as well. But. Yeah, but it's not working on me. So no. Look, I don't care.

If you want to stay in the hut and Jack's okay with it, that's fine. It's not the end of the world. I think you're a nice gentleman. I don't trust you because the nature of your order is not to trust. And frankly, it just would be a bad way for me to go with a knife in my gullet in the middle of the night. I don't want my story to end here. So my say is no, but there's four of us here and who knows. And he looks around and you see him again struck by a realization. I mean, the fact that I'm even in here talking with you means that even if the order doesn't find out, I'm the worst candidate probably ever.

I trusted you. I'm here in your tiny hut. I'm asking you to sleep next to you? Well, that's why I'm saying no. I mean, I guess that really speaks to it is if you feel like you trusted us, you're the only one to know that. Maybe that's self-selection right there.

Maybe. Or if you want, we could dupe you, and you could just go back to them hat and hand and say you got tricked. Maybe they'll respect that. This is so hard. Life's hard, man. I feel you.

I know God has second chances. Just speak to a cleric out there. I'm sure they could point in a direction. Wait, what do you mean? Creelph might try to convert him. I don't know. Should I talk to him? I don't see why not.

Look, you got two paths. You got sticking with the order or you got going your own path. And I think before you do anything, you need to decide which of those is most appealing to you. And Red stands up. And take a second in here if you want. I don't think there's anything of valuable. It's just a dome right now, right? Now that being said, you won't be alone because if I leave, then the dome goes away.

Oh, right, right. Well, Jack will hang out in here with you. I'm going to go get some air. But think it over. There's no wrong answer. Just do what your heart tells you. And Red leaves it. Oh, are you right?

Red. So I was just telling Krayloff about my journey here. I don't care. Oh. But how did it go with the giant guy? Good. I think he's at a bit of a crossroads. He's part of an order that demands trick. You know what? It doesn't really matter. Red realizes that him spilling everything might be the opposite. He tricked us. I think. I think he might be tricking us. But I wouldn't know because he's so good. Oh, tricky tricksters, eh? And Red sits down by the fire. You know what I always say, what blacksmiths always say, you know, someone can trick you until you hold a hot iron against their ass, and then they'll speak the truth. You've literally never said that.

No, Doran. And also, I've never seen you blacksmith for all the time you talk about being one. Yeah, you mostly just go into blacksmith shops and kind of criticize everything. No, I show. You're kind of like a dad of blacksmithing where you're like, don't like the way they. They do it, but don't do it yourself. Yeah, maybe that's more. You know what?

I'm going to show you guys. You're going to be embarrassed when you see my skills. I'm not saying you're not a good blacksmith. I'm just saying, you know, the percentage in which you talk about being a blacksmith versus the percent that we've seen you be a blacksmith. It's vastly outweighed. Doran's grumbling to himself with poking the fire. A few minutes go by and then Baljor emerges from Liamans.

tiny hut, and he folds his hands behind his back, and he says, Fred, I've been thinking a lot about what you and Jack were telling me, and I think I have to do this. I think even if the order isn't for me, I need to go through with this right. Cool. Because it's important to me. I need to show myself that I'm capable. And I think the way that I'm going to do that is by breaking the rules. Hmm. Sometimes you've got to break the rules. He's like, I know it's not really strictly in the spirit of the right of progression for me to get assistance from lay people, but it occurs to me that that's probably the only way that I'm going to survive this challenge. And maybe that's the real trickery of it, right? No rules. If I can find a loophole, then I should exploit it. And maybe that's what the goddess truly wants. So will you help me?

I have no idea about half of what you're talking about. What I mean to say is, if you guys know of any good traps that you can rig up in the forest with me, or if you can help me find and dismantle some traps for the things he's got in store, I mean, I don't have any way to repay you right now. But if I ever can, find a way, I promise I will. Give us a moment and read gestures everyone to go inside the hut. Yeah, I think we kind of follow in. and circle around?

You know, there's a few Dwarven traps you could try. There's obviously a pitfall or a particulars. Come on, Doren. But that's more of a... I'll be right back. I've got other ideas for a trap, if you'd like. So Baljo wants us to help him either find or disable the traps. Look, on one hand, I don't really care.

This is his passage if he wants us to help. It could be a fun way to kill an afternoon. We've got nothing to do. on the other hand I mean if this guy is out here to perform some sort of test he's not really succeeding I mean look

if we do this for him and then send him back to his people and they send him out to a mission and he can't do half the things that he's claimed to do we're not really helping him are we we let him down from a trap I think that's help enough he should be fine on his own

yeah I think getting too deep into the works of the Lerans and their cult rituals is maybe a little off-purpose for us as the Knightstone 4, for lack of a better name. That being said, knowing that there is a cult of tricky people out in the woods, I'd sure feel better if we knew where they were around us before we went to bed. This might not be a safe place to camp. I don't know, Red, if it's worth scouting around to see where the... That is a good point. You know,

to see if there's anybody else here. That's a great point. And actually, I wouldn't mind hearing his side of the story, this Tiefling, you know? From what he says, this isn't a villain. This is just another person who deserves, frankly, probably more so than our friend out there, a spot within this order. I mean, you know, he might reveal some information about this Furbog that makes us very hesitant to deal with him anymore, let alone just offer a little bit more insight to the way the order functions. Yeah, let's try to seek him out. And obviously, be careful about traps as we move through the woods. So Red slaps his face down onto the ground heavily. Ow!

And then Primeval Awareness is a five-mile radius. For humanoids. Great. A minute later you detect the presence of one humanoid, about two miles away to the north. I think I got them. And Red exits. Look, Baljo,

just stay here, okay? We forgot that we left some stove on back where we came from, and Red continues to walk in the direction. A stove? Yeah. So we pack up camp in front of him. Roll deception. Oh, sure.

Only a 13. He goes, uh, oh, that's a, yeah, you check what you need to check. I'm going to make sure that, uh, there's no more, like, rope traps around here. Yeah, you should check the perimeter. I'm going to secure it. And then when you guys come back, maybe we can talk about sleeping arrangements. Yeah. Okay.

Um, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. So when you come back, just that I don't get spooked when you come back into the clearing, if you could, let's come up with, like, a call. if you want, like, you guys can go, like, who-hoo, who-hoo, and then I'll know not to trigger any of my traps, because I might set up a trap here, just so, you know. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh...

Jack snaps his fingers and a perfect imitation of that hoo-hoo with a minor illusion, you know, just appears. What does that sound like, Rob? Hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo! But, like, perfect. Perfect imitation. That's not a hawk. That's, uh, what is that?

It's a blue-tipped kestrel. Oh, okay. Like that's a real bird. Dorn pulls out his axe. Making up names. Anyway, and Red moves through the woods towards this Tifling, keeping a particularly close eye on the ground and trees in the sky above to check for traps as we move. As you move through the woods, what is your marching order?

I'll take lead because my passive investigation is 17 and my passive perception is 20. Red, you come upon a clearing as you're traveling north. With your passive perception, you detect that there is a glimmer of something from underneath the dried leaves that are lightly covered with snow in this clearing. Is it hope? That's right. It's hope. We found it. It's a glimmer of hope. It's really all coming back together. Alex, do you have inspiration?

No. Inspiration. You found the glimmer. Nice. I needed that. Red fires at it with an arrow. Ooh. Any special kind of arrow?

Just a regular arrow? No, I'm not going to waste a special arrow. Your arrow sinks into the ground. On the glimmer? Mm-hmm. Right on the glimmer. Weird. What did you think it was?

I thought it was some sort of trap. Crayloth, go check it out. Yeah, Kralath. It kind of chuckles and walks towards the shimmer. And I'm going to do a perception check. Sounds good. We're on the area. 16.

Okay. Kralath, you head into this clearing. And as you walk onto these leaves under which there is this glimmer, this shimmer, this shimmer, your foot slips just a little bit. It seems like it's some kind of slippery substance. Just then you hear a Coming from one of the trees Make a dexterity saving throw

I don't want to You have to It's D&D I'm making you do it She's making you You must You have to All right If you don't you lose

And that is A six Oh shit You try to somersault out of the way But you slide in this oil I don't think he even tries to to get out of the way. I think he just, like, goes up in flames and they're like, guys, it's a trap.

I do love the, Red is just like, hey, go ahead, trigger that trap. I love it, too, that Creelov laughs. He's like, stupid firing an arrow. I'll do this, and then immediately triggers the trap. You take eight points of fire damage, Krilov, and as quickly as the blaze erupted, it subsides, leaving the clearing singed with ash. Red just walks up, grabs his arrow. Continues moving forward.

It looks at you. You're welcome. That's great. And then, yeah, five seconds later, six seconds later, you just regain all. Looks like there's a trap around here. Fire damage, right? Oh, that's true. That is true.

You don't regenerate right away. It takes you an extra six seconds. Oh, whoa. I'll wait the full 12. Six seconds extra. That's right. Doren's like, oh, there's traps around. Dorn, you folks.

on your wine. As you're moving through the woods, you hear someone calling out. Help! Help me! I bet you that's part of a trap. That sounds very trappy. Hey, Doran's getting it. Good job, Doran.

Yeah. High five. Well, you want to shoot an arrow at it this time? Yeah, I will. Do you move towards the sound? Yeah, probably slowly. Again, looking around still. Do you do it stealthily or not? Yeah, I'll stealth forward.

Okay, roll a stealth check. 26. Okay, stealthily, stealthily, you creep forward until you see the figure of a small girl. She's looking around the forest with fear in her eyes, clutching a teddy bear. What the hell? Is there someone there? What are you doing out here? No.

I'm not even nearby. Sorry, I'll shut up. Yeah, and I stealthed up. That'd be really frustrating. Doran starts ringing a cowbell. He gets out his air horn. It's tambourine every step. How far away is the woman?

The little girl? She's about 40 feet away from you. I'm going to cast fairy fire on her. Okay. Because my reasoning is I think it's probably an illusion. And that fairy fire only works on a creature. So if it doesn't work, and that's the simplest way my dumb red brain can be like,

how do I find out this is an illusion? It's good thinking. Yeah. That is good thinking. You cast fairy fire on this girl, and she fails to illuminate. That's what I thought. Okay, cool. So red looks around for, like, where the illusion might be being cast from.

Mm-hmm. I mean, did you want to roll Arcana? Sure. At worst case, I can always slink back to Jack. Ooh, yeah, no. That's going to be a eight. Yeah, you don't know enough about what this is. to be able to figure out how to find out whoever is making it.

Fair. So I'll slink back to Jack. That is not real. I tried casting fairy fire on it, and it didn't outline. It's not a creature. Any idea what it could be, and I describe it. I mean, there's all kinds of illusions of varying power with ability to move and have sound and be really fabulous. I think we saw one just the other day in that at Perone as well.

You know, so it's not a little girl. I'll do my primeval awareness and I'll see, can I find? There is a humanoid within 200 feet of you and they are slowly moving away. Come on this way. And I'll cast pass without trace on all of us. Okay. I start leading them toward the direction of the person moving away. Sounds good.

But I want to try to head them off at the pass. You know, like if I'm tracking, if I can feel them, I want to try to like swoop around and flank them. Sure. So one thing Doran is doing as we're moving along, he's keeping a really keen eye open for traps. You know, this oil fire trap and the net trap that the guy was caught in.

So Doran's just keeping a really keen eye out for anything that looks kind of out of the ordinary, okay? Yeah. Doran is keeping his eyes peeled. No one worry about looking for traps. Doran's got it covered. Don't worry, guys. I'll look for traps.

And then Red turns to Jack. You might want to look for some traps what you're looking about. What's that voice? I like your Red's version. That was my voice. I always keeps doing Doran. I figure I'll do Red.

I'm not going to ask you to roll for stealth because of the path of the trace and because of the perception check that I rolled to contest that because it is ridiculously low. You swing around to the side of where you think the trajectory of this creature is headed. And stealthily through a pool of moonlight, through the undergrowth of this great old forest, you see a figure clothed in a dark cloak.

I am going to cast Hunter's Mark on him. I like that. Good job, Harlan. This is so funny because Hunter's Mark, is a spell I've used so many times. But it does more than just damage. Like, I always use it to add an extra D6 damage. But it also does exactly this. It makes it really easy to track them, basically.

Do you have to roll still? I have advantage on perception and survival to find it now. So if it ever goes out of sight, like, no matter how far, you know, and I can keep concentration on it for an hour. Actually, at a higher level, it can be 24 hours. So. Great job. Cool.

Really great job. You do. You cast Hunter's Mark on this creature. What happens next? Do they know that they have Hunter's Mark cast upon them? No. It's like a red dot. Yeah, red dot on the score.

It's like everywhere they look. As we're crouched here watching, I kind of have an idea, and I turn to Jack. And I sort of meowed the words like, should we try to trick him? I mean, we could. To what end? I don't know. Maybe if this guy is really that good, or if he is really a jerk, is there a play here where maybe we earn his respect by, you know, dropping him down a peg?

I don't know. We got spells and shit. It just kind of could be fun, honestly. Oh, I could make him think I'm a female dwarf. Jesus Christ, Doran. Just drink your wine. Always with the cross-dressing, Doran. He's like first to do it.

Guys, do you want me to pull out the dress? I have it, ready. You can borrow my wig. I just hemmed it. Yeah, we, yeah. What if we just send an adorable puppy up to him and see what he does? What if, like, Kieran just bounds up to him? I was thinking that sending something,

but the problem is Kieran is pretty damn out of place. But Scriven or Stephen, I can still change to anything. I know I make him look like a goat, but I could make him look like any woodland creature. Like a lizard. I could polymorph any of you to look like any woodland creature. No, thank you. I'm all done with my polymorphs.

Right, but then we'd be stuck as a woodland creature, right? I like the idea, but I think a golden retriever and a hat might tip our hands in regards. I wanted to mention this earlier. I kind of picture Kieran wearing one of those hats that Peter Pan wears, you know? Oh, that's like a very summary look. I was, what were you thinking? I mean, I'd always pictured the hat with the flaps, but... Oh, yeah.

Tadorian hat or... I didn't really picture anything, to be honest, on the dog. Yes, I think it's been described as having flaps. Look up Alpine hat. My favorite fan art has cured in a beret, and that's also pretty good. Everyone take a second. I know you're listening to this podcast right now. Stop your car.

Get out. Yes. Look up Alpine hat on your phone. Start Googling. Golden Retriever. in Alpine Hut. Anyway, the best trick you can pull on him is make him think you're Balgore

and have him spill all the secrets of the cult, right? If Balgur's story was true and we kind of think he wasn't lying to us, you know, the one thing this guy can't do is tell you everything you already know. He's got to get him to say that. Then you've got him. Great point.

Well, and even to that, then neither of them win. If we come in and trick both of them... We can join the Order of Raw. No, but maybe we can, show that this ancient ritual that kind of both of them seem no longer interested in is no longer appropriate. And Red just morphs in front of them towards the Furborg. Dorian, this will be fun. Pass that wine over here. Let's watch.

Oh, my God. Now it's a fucking party. I didn't realize the fur bowl came with us. Where did Red go? Jesus fucking Christ. And Red walks out of the underbrush. Red, do you walk out of the underbrush? Yeah. And Dorn passes the win over. I honestly don't know what I'm doing anymore. This is a lot more difficult than I thought. And the hooded figure snaps up and turns to you and pulls there the hood back from their cloak and reveals a red-faced teafling.

Thinelius, you presume. Very good. Here, here, and Doran passes the wine skin over to Jack. It's like watching, it's like watching a show. It's a pretty good costume, I gotta admit. Yeah. I'd be fooled. What, what do you think, Kralloth?

I think that I've drank half this bottle of wine and I don't feel a thing. Huh? I don't. Look here, he's got him. He's tricking him. Dynelius, I, you know, I, I've been struggling, and I'm wondering, how are you so good at all this stuff. You, you just always seem to be so naturally talented. Palchor, you can just give up if you want. You know that right. But you know I can't. You know, look, Thinalius, now that we're out here in the

middle of the woods, alone, I have to tell you something. I feel pretty lonely. A lot of the reason why I felt like doing this was because of the pressures of my family, and honestly, because I wanted to make more friends. And I always wish that you and I would be a little bit better together, a little bit less competitive, a little bit more friendly. Roll deception. I'm going to use my advantage. Oh, good idea. Good call. Because I don't want to fuck this. This sounds fun. That would be a natural 20. Whoa! On the dime that I had in my little inspiration. Oh, thanks, Merlin.

Merlin sent us some lovely merch. Yeah, excellent. Thinelius snorts. You've told us the same thing. Day after day, year after year. It doesn't give me any pleasure to deny you your place in the apprenticeship. It's for the best. But Thinelius, there's no one around here that you need to prove that you're tough or good to.

It's just you and me. I was hoping that... No, you don't understand. I'm proving it to myself. I belong in this order. You know that. Not just because I'm the deacon's favorite, but because I've been working harder than anyone else.

Now, you know we're not supposed to be communicating directly. Not sure what kind of trickery you're finally trying to pull, perhaps. But I suggest you leave. You'll see evidence of me, and that should be enough for you. You really have no intention of giving me any shot in this, do you? If I did, I wouldn't belong. Well, then, my friend, I have to say that you've been duped. And I feel like at that moment, we kind of all jump on.

Yeah. And as Red says that the facade melts off him, the fur changes from blue to orange. Instinctively, Thionelius reaches to his belt, pulls a knife, and throws it at you, Red. I dodge it. You're going to try. Yeah, that's only a 12 to hit, so. Yeah. Can I try to catch a knife?

It's kind of impossible, right? It's kind of sick, though. You can roll dexterity check and see. I mean, let's say, let's say with an 18 or higher, you can do it. Sure, let's do it, just for argument's sake. Just straight up and down dexterity check. That would be a 25. Whoa.

Nice. Yeah, you catch the knife. He throws it up my shoulder and I grab it mid-air and just hold it. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You got tricked fair and square. And I just dropped the knife by my feet. Doran, you charge in. Like, I tackle him to the ground in sort of like this overly aggressive tackle.

It's surprising, actually, how finely boned this creature is. He's kind of a smaller dude, so it's not like you have a size or anything, but he's easy to remove from his feet and drive down to the snow under your weight. You kill him. Oh, no. This becomes really dark all of a sudden. You guys have to bury the body. We got to dismember the body and bury me. You got tricked, fair and square, my friend.

Yeah, tricked. Isn't that part of the challenge out here? Yeah, challenge. Come on. He's writhing around. Thanks, Doran. He's writhing around underneath Doren, like, This isn't, let me up, let me up.

Doren does, he gets up and dust himself off. Look, your furbog, friend... I can pay you. Just let me go and... Speak of this to no one. What do you mean speak of this to no one? You lost. You got tricked.

And how are you the arbiters of this? Wait, who are you? Why does the order mean so much to you? I got to understand. He said your whole life has been dedicated to this. Why do you care so much? You have no right to any of this information. Really?

Because the option here is we tell your order that you got duped, which means you lose your place, or you can tell us, and maybe we can consider your story being worthwhile to not reveal. He struggles to his feet. Can you imagine, like, thinking of yourself as the deacon's favorite? Like, what a kind of person just walks around knowing bald face? No, I'm the deacon's favorite, though, and, like, knows it?

Man, humility. And Jack's saying that, so... I'm not interested in being judged by any of you. Your opinions of me have so little bearing on my reality that you may as well be insects. Normally, normally that would be true. But we're really trying to find a safe place to camp for the night. And it just happened to me in the middle of your tricksy-turvy little game.

And it's, you know, a whole thing. So we're not here for it. You might as well entertain us, humorous. And call us what you may, but Kralov steps up to him. You set me on fire. You know how that feels? Ah, I do apologize for your injuries, sir. He's sizing you up.

But some of what you find in the forest was not set by me. You apologized. Did you not set the fire trap? I am beyond powerful, and I will see to it that you and your friends pay for any trouble that you give me and any, any impediment you put in my way between myself and attaining the whole of it. 18, 16? What do you think? 30. Doran kind of stands up. He's like, are you trying to.

intimidate us and threaten us. Yeah, he's like a teenager. Look, you're not intimidating, man. I'm 30. And, like, I feel like we're just, like, paying him no mind. Like, the biggest insult would be for you to think that you even made the lick of difference against us today. We got wine, and it's a full moon. We're fine.

Hey, I'm 30. I'm for sure 30. I believe you. And a novice. Look, if you work hard and you deserve the spot, I don't think anything. anyone here is necessarily against the idea of somebody who's, you know, done the work. And part of me sympathizes with you. It seems like you are a learned student. You also seem like kind of an asshole. So, really, we're at this place where do we help the more humble

person who's a little bit worse at this? Or do we help the person who's obviously more practiced, but a prick? Are you saying that you're going to help Baljor? Balger can help himself He's a talented guy, I think Have you met him? You took his appearance Oh, did I? Is that what I did? Oh yeah, when I tricked you

Boom We also tricked Baljore earlier In the woods Tell me about it It was pretty easy No, you tell us why you think He doesn't deserve to be part of the order first Balger is soft

Trusting and unworthy of the title Oh, so you think because you're deceitful and sharp and hard you belong to this order. Fuck yeah, dude. Oh, you're just the worst kind

of kid. You're like edgy. You're in that stage. But I'm the best. At what? The deacon's favorite, didn't you hear? Look, at the end of the day, what you're telling us here is that this order is either going to have one more

person in it like you or one more person like the furbulk. And I got to say right now, I'd much rather have him in something than you. And what you're telling me is that as four random travelers through the woods, you saw fit to intervene in a holy right that has nothing to do with you. Well, it did have to do with us because it made the space we were trying to camp pretty questionable. And that's a random chance. I mean, you can't control for that.

It's like whether sometimes adventure is wandering and fuck up your shit. Yeah, or step into a trap. You know, like we did. Maybe you fell into our trap. We're a trap Lira set for you. Yeah. The Tifling puts his hood back up to cover his horns, and he starts stepping back into the darkness in a totally dushy way.

Like he expects the shadows to, like, cover him or whatever. He's, like, swooshing his cloak a little bit, and he's like, May your steps be haunted by everything in this wood that is set for me. I'd love to mold earth behind him, so he trips over. Yeah, you do. Just a flick of the wrist and the stones jump up behind him where he doesn't expect it. He catches the pothole that you've dug for him with a heel and with a sharp scream. He falls backwards.

Thrashes for just a minute inside the folds of his cloak and then stands back up really quickly. We'll be careful. You watch your step. Be gone. Pass that wine back here. Here. You guys get back to your camp clearing. You know, you head three miles south, back to the clearing where you've left.

Your new best friend, right? Baljure. Baljure. Hey, Baljure, head back to your order. We tricked the Tifling, and I think you can claim that as one on you. Wait, what do you mean? What happened? Tell me everything. Well, I appeared as you using the disguise spell and tricked him. Then we confronted him about why he's so mean, and frankly, he just kind of said stuff that

didn't really give him any sort of, he just, he's kind of just a jerk. That's what I was telling you guys, I said he's, he's like totally a jerk. It kind of just got worse and worse. He called us insects, which I don't even know if that's an insult. I mean, slugs are pretty cool. They're not cool, and we don't talk about slugs anymore. You know, I've battled some pretty evil people that have more respect than that guy does. Listen, I don't want to be ungrateful at all, because I do appreciate.

what you did for me, and I hope you didn't get into any trouble going through the tricks and traps and stuff in the woods. He threw a knife at me, but I literally caught it. That's sick. It was fucking badass. But listen, I don't know if the order is going to be okay with me rejoining, just given that you guys have interfered and stuff. And maybe that's for the best. What do you mean, interfered? Just this whole, this whole right has been so messed up.

We sort of bungled it. No, no, it's not your fault. I, I called to you from the tree. If I wanted to keep it pristine, I would have just, I would have figured out. If it's anyone's fault, it's Krayloths, because he cuts you down. I can tell you this much, I didn't do nearly anything. I don't have to sleep. In the hut, I know that that makes you probably pretty uncomfortable, but...

Are you saying you're going to leave the order? Yeah, I think so. Well, then I think this is the best solution, because your friend there doesn't get to join. But I think you should go back, tell them that you successfully tricked four hapless travelers, the Nightstone Four, into doing your bidding, into tricking him and take full credit for that in any way you want, and then leave the order on your own accord. That way he doesn't get in, and you also get to leave. with you head held high.

That's real smart actually, right now. That's a cool guy move, too. Yeah, of course. Can I get a written attestation that I totally tricked you guys? Sure. Dora, like, pulls out his notebook, and he, like, he tricked us, and he, like, it's all, like, spelled improperly. Just as he tricked us.

And then. This is perfect. You have no idea. This is, they're going to think I'm cool, and then I'm going to leave. And, you know what, last night when I was hanging in the tree, crying softly to myself, I thought, I thought Baljor, he really bungled it this time, worse than the other times, really. But this is, this is going to make me feel, feel great. You know, if you ever make it to Waterdeep, you should stop by the copper cup. Just tell him Jack sent you, and your couple of rounds will be on me, I promise.

Yeah, and tell him Red also sent you. And Doran and Crayloth, too. No, not me. Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters. Heather Nichols, Alexander Reed, Merlin, Christopher Ryan Evans, Mitchell Cadwell, Colin Burckhart, K.R., Kelly McLeysot, Creature, Michelle Kohn, Melanie Schen, Maggie Breeze, Stephen Lovett, Brian Blass, Lars. Gray, Bryn-Marie, Daniel,

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