Dice Shame - 146 | 'Return to the Charge'

Episode Date: July 28, 2022

Comedy, action and a whole lot of shaming come together in Dice Shame, an Actual Play Podcast of Storm King's Thunder by Wizards of the Coast! Join our GM Jo; her partner Harlan, his brother Alex & their best friends Justin and Rob as they tackle the daunting world of Faerun in this legendary adventure module!Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. Like the games they play at home, they try not to take themselves too seriously. The show aims to be entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously.Join us every Thursday morning for brand new episodes available on all major platforms including; Spotify, iTunes, Google Play and more! If you haven't checked it out yet... what are you waiting for?!?Content Warning: swearing, violence, horror, mental illness and suicide. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Good job, Doren, but I can't move! So close, yet so far. I managed to get my hand in between its fangs. You having a conversation with it? Just eat it. That's gonna miss. Biologically, how do these spiders work up here? I think I'll avoid the flaming sphere.

But we scare them. I'm gonna do it, okay? I'm gonna do it. I'm excited to see what the article says. What? What are you talking about? It goes with his eyes. I'm surprised you haven't run away, you arachnid beast. That's all right.

Doran answers themselves, and he says, it was a rhetorical question. That's good. I've learned the word rhetorical recently. Welcome back to Dyshame. This is episode 146, return to the charge. MVP this week is Amelia Erowand, who said they've been binging Dyshing pretty hard over the last two weeks, and they are missing D&D.

Hope you find a group, Amelia, and thank you so much for the kind words. Thanks, Amelia. Fan Expo is August 25th to 28th, and we are going to be there. Experience the largest comics, sci-fi, horror, anime, and gaming event in Canada. Four days of citywide events, family-friendly attractions, and world-renowned celebrities await you in the glamorous and exciting city of Toronto. Join us at the convention as we represent Dyshame, malevolent, and Invictus. We're excited to be organizing some fan meetups and other events.

Stay tuned for more details in the coming weeks on our Discord. But book your travel plans and buy your tickets now. Early bird prices are available until August 10. Come on out and meet us. Yeah, can we just see everyone? All right, shall we do this? Yeah, let's play some D&D. Ow!

After a mid-combat, icy cave-in, your party is split and surrounded on all sides by aggressive frost spiders. Jack and Kralov plummeted down through the ice into the spider tunnels below, while Doren and Red are trying to hold it down back up on the surface. Red, it's your turn. You see that Doren is dispatching spiders down on the ground. Good job, Doren, but I can't move! What are you going to do? Get out of there.

Take 1D4 frosty damage or something, right? Yes, you are. So you take 1D4 frost damage. That's two cold damage. And I'm going to use my action to escape. Yeah, so you can make a strength check if you like. Or I can attack it. That's right.

Is it just a DC to hit? What weapon are you going to use? My kitty cat claws. Okay, so you're going to have to make an attack roll against the webbing. Easy. And then roll damage against the webbing as well. well, because it has an A-C and hit points. Now, since the creature hasn't attacked me yet,

can I have advantage on attacking it? Absolutely not. Good try. The webs. They haven't done anything yet. And I'm offended, you've even asked me. I don't think they're a creature. Can I use my sharpshooter?

That's an 18. All right, you hit the webbing. Yeah, red slashes at the webs with his claws and breaks out of the webbing. Ah, that's better. And for my second attack, I pull my bow out and I fire at the jerks below. And I'm going to use a bursting arrow this time like I should have last time to blow them up. Now, is it every creature within 10 feet? Correct.

And I'm going to use my inspiration. Ooh, you boys are burning through it today. I like that. That's going to be a 19 to hit. Yes. Perfect. So I'm going to shoot my arrow into the one at the back. Is the one of the back been wounded before?

It has. Perfect. It's leaking a little bit of icy blue spider goop. I see. Icey blue goo. Everything I say, Kralov is like, that sounds delicious. He's really unlocked a new level of like in a slushy. Perfect.

Those blue icies that you get at the cinema. It's basically antifreeze. Delicious. Delicious, delicious. Delicious, delicious antifreeze. Do you guys ever try to Antifreeze? No, can't say I have, actually. It's so good.

Yeah. I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding. So the one of the back takes 27 damage. Oh, wow. Yeah, it just dies. It explodes. It explodes. And the one next to it takes four force damage.

Awesome. And then Red is going to run away. Where are you going to run? Red. I'm going to slide down 10 feet to the north. And then head the run. remaining 30 feet to the north-east to try to get as much distance as I can between me and these crawly critters. Jack, you hear this explosion up above and you know that red is going

not so with the arrows. Yeah, I look at the icicles fall down from the roof and the like, you know, structure of this cavern and get nervous for a minute with the explosions. Yeah, it's looking a little bit, a little bit hairy in here. Spider-haired. Spider-Hary. I love the idea. There are two spiders, one on either side of you, and your back is to this open corridor. Who knows what is coming down the corridor towards you?

I motion for my flaming sphere to ram into the spider that it just singed. Moves forward with the force of my mind, and can you make me a dexterity saving throw, please? I will do so. Nine. Nine. So that's, yeah. So it's only two fire damage as this thing starts to burn away at the hair and singe its back hide. But Jack reaches out with a spell and starts to toll the dead,

trying to pull this thing's soul into the smoke as it evaporates. And it can make me a wisdom save now. Okay. Nope. Six. All right. Let's see. You have one more bad role and that's it.

Uh, 21. Nice. 21 damage? Wow. Good one. The creature is just barely holding on. Get it, girl. Nice.

Good job. So I am going to move also. Dashing. You got to move it, moving. Dashing through the snow and a nice cave far below. All right. It's the spider's turns. They are each going to, well, the first one is going to,

doesn't want to end its turn next year. fear, is that correct? I does not want to end its turn there or it will be burned. I don't know if it's long for this world anyway. So it's going to make a last desperate bite at you. 24 to hit. Come on, I believe. Yeah, that'll hit.

Six piercing damage. How? How? How? I don't want to fail. 14. All right. You're fine.

Oh, don't want to fail. And it's companion spider. It's best friend. My best friend. in the whole wide world. Also bites you. If we could just do this, well, oh, the adventures, let's bite them.

That's an 18 to hit you. It would hit, but I managed to get my hand in between its fangs and time and this, like, bubble of force pushes it off to the side. Oh, yeah. And its fangs are like, like, like around your shield. Dripping venom right onto the hand,

just stopped by the shield to roll off to the side, like water on a duck's back. Awesome. And then it kind of moves to, like, impede your escape almost, as its friend, or perhaps to get away from the fire as its friend singes and burns up directly next to this ball of flame.

Yeah. Meanwhile, Kralath, you are hunkered down in between three spiders that are all just snapping and biting at you. So they're all going to do wisdom saves? Oh, yeah. Uh, three, a 13, and a nine. All right, they're all going to take another 16 points of damage. Okay.

As the spirit guardians whisp all around. I think with that, two of them will flee from your presence, looking for easier prey. Who knows where they'll find it. I'm going to take my attack of opportunity. Sure, yeah. So with that, Paloth swings his mace at this spider. Great. Good.

14 to hit. Do it. Yeah, fine. Do whatever you want. 14 hits. Exactly. See if I care. All right.

I'm not crying. You're crying. Best friend just died. Okay, if you kill my spiders. And it's going to take eight points of bludgeoning damage. Oh, so close, but not quite enough. Oh, no. So close, yet so far.

And it scampers away, limping off into the tunnel. You should chase it down. I might. Chase it down. As does its companion. Meanwhile, scampers, scampers, scamper. The final spider that's right beside you tries to bite through your defenses.

And I rolled a seven to hit you. That's a miss. All right. He looks calm and ready. Up top on the surface, we have two spiders across the crevasse. from Doran. One of them can reach out and bite you, and so it tries its best.

Reach out and bite him. All right. 15 to hit you, Doran. That's going to miss. The other one launches itself across this abyss and lands on the rock beside you. Jumping ice spiders.

Yikes. The worst kind. Yeah, it's only a 14 to hit you. And with that, I'm going to use my repost. Oh, do it. Nice. Yeah. So that's going to be a 24 to hit.

Mm-hmm. Doing 15 points of damage to that one on the rock. So it doesn't even make it to the rock. As the spider jumps across the crevasse at you, in mid-air, orc splitter cleaves through it and these spider parts fall down into the abyss. Hey, watch it. They just rain down on Jack and they sizzle and burn up in the flames. That's fucking cool.

Yeah, that's awesome. It's like this dead thud as these, like, limbs hit the ground. And they're still, like, moving. They're, like, twitching and stuff. Blah! All right. Finally, the one spider that's super far away from red still wants to eat you. Bring it on, dummy!

It can't reach you with a web, so it's just going to try to chase you down. Red from across this little, like, bowl area in the snow. the spire's legs are just kicking up snow everywhere as it charges you in fury. They must have claws they can spread out like snowshoes. Like these things got to be horrifying. Are you thinking this down while you're down in the pits? Yeah, I mean, I've only happened to have some legs land feet up right in front of me recently. Still twitching just to see all of the articulations on those claws.

And my mind can't help but look at them and think, you know, biologically. How do these spiders work up here? Jack's like mid-battle and he's like, hey, look at that foot. I tell you, that padding is like really meant to be, you know, working on snow. What happens next, Kralov? You've got one spider trying to snap at your defenses. Yeah, Kralov is going to turn away from this spider and he's going to try to walk and follow the other two spiders down the path and he'll take the attack of opportunity. It's going to bite at you.

I'm going to buy my... Natural 20. Oh, no. Okay, I'm going to... With my orange and yellow dice that I was considering getting rid of. No kidding. Look at that, hot and cold.

So, regular damage. Regular damage, yep. You're hot in your cream. Max damage. Which is a paltry 11. Okay. And you have to make a constitution saving throw. All right.

I will do that. Oh, man. That is going to be 15. I thought that felt good. Hey. You succeed. You're doing fine. All right.

And then I'll do my concentration. Okay. And then that's going to be 12 for concentration. So I'm good. Yeah. Half of the damage or greater than 10. All right, Kralath, you are free to go. Kralov continues his movement and he moves through this narrow hallway.

Mm-hmm. As you move through the narrow hallway, you see the flickering light of fire coming from somewhere deeper within the tunnels and you hear the retreating skitters of the spiders as you move. And as he sees those two spiders up ahead, Kralath turns around and he's going to cast sacred flame on the spider that he left behind.

All right. It has to do a dexterity saving throw. Eight. Oh, okay. So it is going to take 13. points of damage. All right. Just you look back over your shoulder and you shoot this ray of spiritual energy and you don't

even have to verify to see that the spider, it just screams and its soul leaves its body and its legs all crunch up and it falls to the floor. Dead. Perfect. Doran. What do you do? Doren sees the last spider that's surrounding him across this space. small bit of crevice.

And this is the one that's missing the front legs. He, you know, overreaches again. And, you know, at this point, he's like, I'm surprised you haven't run away, you arachnid beast. You having a conversation with it. Yeah. It answers back. What's your name?

That's going to hit with a 24 again. It is. Doing another 14 points of damage. Mm-hmm. The spider doesn't have a chance to answer your polite discussion because it dies. That's all right. Doran answers himself and he

says it was a rhetorical question. I learned the word rhetorical recently. With that I think Doran hollers down the crevice. Jack, you're still alive down there. Yeah, only a little bit up. I'm coming down. Okay, don't land on the flaming sphere.

And Doran kind of, I think I'll miss it. Doran like leaps down, but first. I think I'll avoid the flaming sphere. Good choice. This could be a dangerous drop for you. Really? You're jumping 50 feet down. Oh, shit.

Ooh, it's that high. These guys were afforded a softer landing because they were falling in and amongst the snow. I mean, you're a hero. You can do whatever you want, but. True. Could you slide down the side? Yeah.

Actually, funny enough, that's exactly what I was thinking. I think I've got... Oh, axe in the wall to... I don't know if I want to do that to my axe. Doran's like pride in his weapon. He doesn't want to drag that thing through the ice. It's going to dull it. She's magic.

I mean, metal armor that you cleave through no problem versus a bunch of snow. Yeah, but that's got a purpose. Yeah, Doran's going to use his axe. There's no, there's no reason to get down here. It's fine. I'll be fine, Doran. Don't worry about it. I'm going to do it, okay?

I'm going to do it. This is going to be the time where Joe says, okay, you slide down. It looks real cool, but your axe breaks. It was too much damage. Your legendary artifact, you're intelligent. All right, okay, let me get to it. Doran's going to jump down the crevice.

He looks down and he sees that it's quite a ways down. But he sees that the walls of the crevice are like, you know, this like sort of thick but falling aparty ice. And he figures if he jumps down this with his axe kind of jabbed into the wall and because of the size of the space maybe if it even puts himself up against the other side of the wall you can kind of like ease himself down a little bit easier than than just a straight drop okay so that's what i'm going to attempt i want you to roll either an athletics check or an acrobatics check your choice oh to accomplish this without taking damage all right or breaking

or exploiter regardless you are choosing to jump down the hall now dorin chooses to jump right down the hole and that's going to be a 15 for athletics athletics yeah okay doran you leap down into the hole heroically plunging ork splitter into the side of the crevasse she manages to slow you down some but not enough because as you reach the top of the cavern there's no more snow to hold on to and you plummet some 20 feet taking 19 bludgeoning damage as you fall

prone clang oh my god Doran committed suicide what was that I just saw him jump off a 50th drop directly beside Jack

Jack you just hear I'm here to see and like some bumbling otherworldly Santa Claus as I come tumbling down the chimney. You know, lose my footing. All right, Doran, you get inspiration. Hey, inspiration.

Good job. Worth it. I tumbled down into this pit landing right on my ass, and my ass takes all of the damage. And I'm like, oh, oh, and he kind of stands up and holds his tailbone, and he kind of jumps around a few times. But I'm able to catch my, self, quick enough. And still, I've got movement. You do. You have half your movement.

Doran moves right beside Jack facing on, you know, face to face with this injured, clearly injured spider. I'm here. I did it. Any attacks this spider. You did do it, Doran. Thanks for joining me. With a dirty 20. Oh, excellent. Doing 15 points of damage. Yeah, great job. He cleaves his axe into the face taking off maybe one of the mandibles. One of the, what are they called? Petipels are different than mandibles. Paterpulps?

Would you like to cleave off a petapalp or a mandible? Actually, with this, he takes off both of the left side of the petapalps and the mandible of the spider's face. Those were its favorite petapal. No! He was a lefty. Red, meanwhile, you watch Doran as he just launches himself down the icy crevasse, and you are alone on the surface being charged by an ice spider. Oh my God, Doren!

What the hell is wrong with you? I'm going to attack this spider. That would be a 23 to hit. It does. 29 damage Nice Still standing? Yes

I attack it again Do it 23 to hit Yes Oh yeah 23 damage Yeah Yeah red

This spider gets to Within 10 feet of you And then Pshu-pchew One after the other You fire two arrows Into its body And it heals over twitching

Suck them down Red says And then he heads over To the edge of the crevasse Dora and are you alive? I am. Oh, thank God. We both are.

Oh, is Jack down there too? All right. Jack, it's your turn. Jack, it's your turn. that momentum seems to be transferred into the flaming sphere that rolls wide around the cavern and slams itself into this spider. Oh, cool. rolls right beside you directly into the spider. 22?

That'll do it. So it'll be half of five damage. All right. Yeah. And then I... Pull it your dagger and be like, oh, that's the least effective thing for Jack to do. I know.

But he will pull out Desaun's wand and trace the ill run in the air and try and hit this thing with a firebolt. Okay. 22. That hits. For 14 more fire damage. Perfect. The creature catches fire and you hear his spider screams echoing in the cavern as he burns up. Now we're cooking.

That's right. And then I'm going to step away from the very warm flaming sphere. Mm-hmm. Sorry, Doran. Meanwhile, down the corridor, you hear the sounds of Kralov hunting down and exterminating spider after spider. as he clears his way towards you, Jack. Poor spiders. I picture Kralov coming around the side, like covered in guts.

Just call me Spotterman. Yeah, the last two spiders just get eaten up by the spirit guardians. Awesome. Nice. Crayloth rounds in the corner. Oh, you all right, Jack? In one piece. Are you all right, Dora?

Why are you grabbing your butt? No, I'm fine. I landed on my boat when I fell down this shaft. Let me tell you. A little dent on that magic armor. are yours. You should buff that right out. I'm going to. It's poking. Not comfortable.

Red, you all right up there? Hello, down there. I got a rope. I'm lowering it down. Well, Red's back up. Yeah. And Red starts lowering down a rope that he's tied off to a nearby rock. Now let's get out of here. We've got a place to be. And after you pull your friends up out of the crevasse, you look to the north and you see it there. The eye of the All-Father. maybe two hours journey away, you've almost reached your destination.

Deep in the mountains at the spine of the world, shrouded by a mantle of snow and ice, a stone dragon is frozen mid-flight. Isicles cling to its open wings, hang from the hissing mouth like tendrils of saliva. The party toils below it, struggling through the drifts of the mountain pass small moving spots of color insects in comparison with the enormous statue they pass beyond onward to the chasm past which the eye of the all father darkly waits and as they disappear from view the eyes of the statue begin to glow with blue flame that's no good but don't worry about any of that right now i'm sure it's nothing It'll be fine.

What's it called when the audience knows something that the actors don't? Dramatic irony. Dramatic irony. So am I understanding there is like a huge ice statue of a dragon? We passed the one before. A stone statue. Stone. But I detected no magic on it when we went by it the first time.

That's right. You detected no magic. Okay. I'm following you here. Freshly victorious after your belt with the ice. spiders the nightstone four bravely makes their way through the final mountain pass your party comes upon a sight you have seen before the entrance to the eye of the all father an icy stone causeway spans the chasm whose cliff sides drop down more than a thousand feet and beyond that the domed entrance held by

soaring pillars of stone it's good to be home oh i knew we were close based on that That giant dragon statue. Yeah. Yeah, it's hard to forget that thing. That ugly one with a really ugly face? Yeah. Well, dragons are ugly. Yeah.

I mean, really, look at them. I don't know. There's something pretty majestic. Well, I suppose it's your, it's the experiences you have with them. I consider them to be very ugly. I mean, I grew up with them. Fair. Looking down over the side of this chasm,

Doran's just like, oh, it really makes you feel like small. Yeah. Well, even smaller than you, you know, bigger than me, but smaller than normal is what you mean. Yeah, smaller than the average normal. Is it fair to say that at some point during the last encounter or after the last encounter where the ice fell from below our feet, that Kralov was like, I don't know if having a necklace that gives me zero initiative instead of minus one initiative is more useful than having a balloon general. levitating backpack of balloons. Yeah. For sure.

Yeah. You want to reattune to your magic items on the show? Yeah. I think that at some point during this journey, maybe even right at that statue, Krayloth, uh, during a break at that statue, Krayloth took out his balloon backpack and put that back on and took out this necklace and said, hey, anybody want this? All the like, googly eyes are like, you know, shifting.

Plus one to initiative. Oh, I could use an extra little leg up if nobody else wants, uh, you know, Daring, you're not that short. Geez. Well, I just mean... Stop feeling so self-conscious. No, no. I mean...

He's pretty short, Red. I know, he's short. I'm trying to make... I'm trying to lie to him. Oh, I'm trying to make better use of my words. You're short to... You should just accept it. Embrace it.

You're short. Oh, never mind. I think he wants the thing you're offering. Oh, you want the thing? It'll give me an advantage, is what I'm saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Here you go. Try it on.

Oh, thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Oh, it suits you. It looks ridiculous on you. Kraloth, don't be so evil. What? What are you talking about?

It goes with his eyes. All those eyes on it. It matches the fact that he also has eyes. Style. Is that necklace called? It is called the necklace ocular. Thank you. The necklace oculus wrist.

I'm making note of my items that I have, you know. Wow. Doren, you are tuned to now three items, correct? Oh yeah, you're right. Or splitter, the ring, and your necklace. Well, let's get going. I don't know why, but I feel like I should hug everyone

for one last time. Oh, one last time. Oh, yeah. I don't know. Maybe it'd be a good idea. Just, I'm feeling kind of superstitious right now, but also, who knows what's going to happen when we get these giant artifacts back?

It seems like the kind of place where, I don't know, we might run into another one those giant centipedes or something like that. So I'm going to cast Aide as a level four. But Harshnack's been there. There's no reason to fret. I hope Harsnag would have taken care of most of those. Yeah, don't worry about it, Kraloff.

Well, he would take some extra HP anyways. So everybody gets plus 15 HP to their hit point maximum. Nice. Also remember that you got the plus 3 HP from your treats. Treat. Uh, your treats. You got another plus 3 hit points for your treats. While we were at the dragon statue,

Krayloff was busy preparing some. Ooh, frost lichen. Oh, like a treat that you... Compote. I didn't remember that. Okay. Yeah. Sounds awful.

I'm getting attacked. I need to spread this compote on my wound. No, you eat it, Toran. What? Okay, let me just eat this. Does anyone have any crackers? Just imagining. Just eat it.

I can't eat it without crackers. It's compote. It's like being chased by a fireball. He's like... I'm just imagining you knowing that you need those extra HP and that you have to eat it but you really don't want to eat it,

but you have to eat it. But it's so good for your... It's how we got it. It's so bitter. Well, your lucky Kralov has the chef feat. Which is the only reason why you get the HP in the first place. Yeah.

That's right. So it has to taste good. Mechanically. No matter what it's going to taste. Okay. Yeah. So you guys are now fully. short rested and buffed and you swapped out all your magic items and you probably summoned kieran back or whatever

yeah we'll take the time to do that and now you are again standing before this icy stone causeway looking down into the chasm looking across the causeway at the pillared entrance of the eye of the all father and kreloff looks down the chasm and says I'm sure glad I put my backpack back on. Yeah, you'd hate to fall all the way down there, that's for sure. Yeah, good luck with that necklace, Doran. Yeah, thank you. I wish I had a backpack with balloons in it, but...

No, the deep pits don't scare me. Anyway, let's go. And Red takes the lead. Yeah, I'm excited to see what the article says when we bring these artifacts. So is this the end? Are we figured out the ordaining then? I think so I think this will tell us

where more of those conch shells are and then when we get those we can teleport to somewhere Oh yeah that's right And then when we each have one We blow it

And then we can appear somewhere Right Somewhere important to the giants And presumably that will help us Figure out the Ordn Probably Golden Fields Dorin takes up the rear

Of the party What time is it out there Jack I can't tell with all the clouds When we left the ice spiders Is it midday? It's been a couple hours from there. Okay. Late afternoon-ish? Yeah, I mean, I don't want to get too precise.

I've been trying to dial that back a little bit. It's 4 o'clock. Yeah, I had a conversation with him and asked him not to be specific anymore because it was driving me up the wall. I'm all about moods. So if he's vague, it's my fault. Anyway, hushnag! Red says and starts walking deep in.

You pass through into the giant-sized hall. The battlement ledges to your right and left, looking down. on you. Unlike the first time you visited here, nothing moves in the shadows, no voices from the end of the hall. It seems that you are alone. Huh. I wonder how she is. Maybe he's in the oracle room. Remember the big, you know, up there and Doran points up to the shelves, you know? Yeah, I would just keep an eye out for, you know, ambushes from up there. Yeah. Yeah, like we did to the people last time we were here. Yeah.

Getting an awkward feeling. I'm going to spend a moment, and I'm going to drop to my knees, and I'm going to do my primeval awareness to see if there's any humanoids or giants within a five-mile radius. Smarty pants. That's a good move.

Uh-huh. Good move, Red. There is one giant within a five-mile radius. Harsnag. Probably. Quiet, Krayloff. I can't hear. Sorry.

It's the lichen. the north and west of you. Red pops back up. Yeah, there's one giant to the northwest of us. So I guess Arsnax is waiting for us. Perfect. And so Dorn's just going to keep an eye out for anything that looks different from the last time we came.

Yeah, let's go. Okay. You walk through the long corridor, and again, everything is giant-sized in this temple built for giants by giants. So this grand hall is exhausting just to make your way there. And the steps that lead up to these massive double doors are eight to ten feet tall. So you scramble up them together, you know, holding down your arms, creating human ladders, et cetera,

and make your way up to these 30 foot tall granite doors. You recall, they are covered in images of giant gods in battle. But they've been left open a crack, or what would amount to a crack for a giant. But you could shimmy through, as small folk, the opening's about a foot wide. Squeeze on through. To the other side. Squeeze on through to the other side. Red heads through first.

Doran, I looked around. No humanoids, no giants. Five miles, boys. We're fine. Right, right, right. What about giant serpent things that eat you and almost kill you? If there's a giant serpent thing that eats us, Hoshnag is either already dead,

which means we stand no chance, or Hoshnack killed it. Yeah, he's been living here for a while. I'm just saying there's more to be worried about than humans and giants. Red waves you off and heads through. Do you think that these giants, their mothers, named them? Scorius stone bones?

Well, I'm going to guess their father had something to do with it. The all father? Nice. Nice. I like the name Memnor. You like that name? I do. Do you name your kid, Memnor?

I'm really impressed with the way you guys have remembered all of these. Doren remembers that name? I feel like they're like written on plaques or something. These aren't there right now. Yeah, they're no plaques. Remember, that was the whole issue why we, because we didn't know anything. Exactly at some point, I think. Yeah, well, it was in that...

Remember Thrim? No, no, no. He's just been talking about this so much that everybody else has really internalized the name of all these giants. No, no, no, Kieran taught me this in our giant lessons. Oh, that makes sense. Scoria Stonebones is woof-woof, wagtail, woof, whiff. Thrim is... Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, oh, strong mouse.

I don't even want to get into Strawn Mouse. I like it's music. Stron Mouse 5. That's amazing, you remember all these. All these giant names. These enormous statues dominate this room, and much is, as you remember it from your first visit, though you note that none of the 60-foot-tall giant figures hold their weapons any longer. Oh.

The door at the east end of the hall is filled with glowing mist that billows and churns within the bounds of the archway, and ruins glow on the floor at the base of the portal. Doors lead to the north and south. You remember the fight with a giant centipede. creature in the dining hall was to the south and the rolling ball trap and the giant guest rooms were to the north. I remember both of those quite well. I guess our friend took one of the guest rooms to sleep in. They were chilly after all. And redheads north. I wonder where all those weapons went, but it's kind of convenient because maybe we just have to take all the artifacts and put

them where they belong in the giant's hands. Does that make sense? I think we just want to bring them back to the oracle. Yeah. Just the oracle? We need to find harsh egg to get this portal open for us and oh, okay.

He's just up here, guys, come on. And write skips. Sure. All right, red, lead the way. Dorn just kind of looks at Kraloth and shrugs.

Like, we're both the most clueless of the party. And yet new two giant names. You're like, we don't know what's going on, but also men nor in stone bones. I'm telling you, Kieran is a great teacher

of history too. For me. Not just, when you're trying to learn giant, you want to read giant detail. texts and things, and there tend to be about. Yeah, and Red heads through the doors to the north. Accurately, Red, you assess Harshnegg's position in this, one of these guest rooms,

I guess partially through intuition and partially because of your freaking ranger skills. As you open up these giant-sized double doors, you hear the low, familiar rumble of Harsnags snoring. Hasnag snoring. Shall we scare him? Do a little... Red leg looks at everyone. No, no, no.

Let's not scare. That would be a bad idea. It doesn't seem like they kind of got to love a practical joke. Boo! Yeah. Yeah, and I think we skulk forward and when Reds sort of

near the doorway, he'll just say, Hashnag! And sort of knock fruitlessly on the stone wall, which makes no sound whatsoever. Just like a click, click, click.

Ow. Hashi. You see your friend Harshnag reclined on one of these long stone benches, and as you call out to him, his eyes open, and he looks at you red-handed Robin.

Yeah. Hey. You remember. Oh! He sits up and stretches this big, big, big giant stretch it's been a long time since you've seen Harshnag but it seems like he's made

quite a comfortable space for himself here during the time that you've been gone it's been like what six 10 day or something the bare stone furnishings are covered with throws made from animal fur there's a mostly finished tapestry strung from some huge wooden frame off to one side looks like he's been doing

some weaving Hopefully, it was pretty uneventful. I apprehended six giants who made their pilgrimage here to the eye of the All-Father. Wow. And defeated them in single combat. Nice. I can't say I'm surprised, but I'm always impressed.

My goodness. Thank you, Doran. Did they have any cool magic items on them? Uh, oh, I'm sorry. I disposed of their bodies And I looked down at the pile of bones picked clean Oh my God, Hosnack! I dumped them into the crevasse outside.

Though I did keep these teeth, he rummages through a pocket in his vest. Sure. Frost giant clothes. And he pulls out a handful of giant teeth. Whoa! Wow. Could I have one?

One of these teeth He kind of rummages through them With a giant finger Frost giant Stone giant This one is from the fire giant And this one nearly bested me Cloud Giant

He's got a whole collection It was lucky I had the element of surprise Why did you take the teeth? He points at the white dragon's skull helm on his head I tend to like to keep trophies it helps me remember

if you like I will part with one Thank you Red runs up and grabs one Yeah Cool Wow look guys No one's impressed

Like a big Like a big fish bowl size I wouldn't put that on my head if I were used No I'm not I'm gonna use it for other things I feel like it's like got like, you know, skin still, like, attached to the side of it. Yeah, like strands of flesh are just kind of dangling from it. A piece of kind of a half-dried nerve hanging out. It'd probably be the size of like a goblet, not a dinner plate.

That'd be too big, I think, right? I don't know, dude. Yeah, no, I'm not, I'm not, I'm just standing up. So cloud giants are the second tallest of them all. Yeah. You'd come to about just below their knee as like a tall human. So if that means a human's this big holding. a tooth. Yeah, I would still probably be like the size of like, I'm thinking like a goblet,

you know what I mean? Like maybe tall, but like a goblet. Wow, thanks, Harsh Nag. This is so cool. And Red tucks it away into the bag of holding. What will you do with it, Red? I might make some arrowheads with it. You might be able to grind it up into something. Something else cool. Something of use. I don't know. Like bone meal to grow crops. Maybe. Yeah, like in Minecraft. I'm curious though, Harshag. And Doreen kind of looks out the door of the room, and he says, What were they here for that you had to defeat them? Like, did they threaten you, or were they coming for something?

I imagine they came for much the same reason that you did, to speak with the oracle, to understand about the ordaining, and maybe to learn what could be done such that they might be placed atop it. That's the placing atop it. Speaking of, we did manage to bring everything the Oracle requested, so maybe it's

a good idea to see them as soon as possible just to get that out of the way. You've been gone for so long, Jack, and in such a hurry. This is Hoshnag, Jack. Don't you want to hear his

stories and look at all the cool things he's collected? More so, I'm interested in hearing about how your missions went. How were the interactions with the barbarian tribes? Mixed. What will they do now that they are missing their artifacts? Oh. Well, we didn't think that far ahead.

Probably scour the countryside and burn a lot of villages, but... Well, I don't know about that. There's some of them that I don't even think they're aware they have an artifact. or that it's missing. I mean, the, the tiger and the lion tribes? Like, Barone as well, I don't know that it's probably going to take them a while to figure out that something's missing if they ever do. It didn't seem like a very well-frequented place.

Yeah, true. Skypony was overrun by stone giants, and so, you know, it got pretty, pretty wrecked, pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. The shrimp tribe, let us have this. The Great Worm. The shrimp tribe. No, it was a shrimp.

The shrimp, no, it's not the shrimp tribe. That's not one of them. There was definitely a shrimp involved, Jack. Trust me on this. Don't. And every time they say Skyponia, Dorn kind of shoots a look over at Kraloth. Why are you looking at me, Dorn?

Oh, nothing. Nothing. I'm with Jack, though. I think we should get these artifacts off our hands. I mean, all right, fine. Well, you know. They're taking up a lot of inventory space. We've been lugging them.

They're really not, but. Yeah. They're not wrong. How did you manage to carry them all? Oh, we got a portable hole from Jack's mom. Mm-hmm. And a bag of holding that holds all of our other shit. Yeah, we got a hold of a red.

Yeah, we got that a long time ago. All this sorts of shit that we collect and Dorn picks up the tooth and, like, shoves it into the bag of holding. Well, I suppose if you're in a hurry. Well, I don't think that we're necessarily in a hurry, but I think that we're necessarily in a hurry, but I think that we would like to, you know, get this part done, get that leg of the journey over with, and then we can celebrate. I'll cook up a nice feast, and everybody will be happy,

we'll make some music, it'll be great. But yeah, let's take care of this first so that it's off our hands. That's what I'm feeling. All right. Unless, what happens if, yeah, everything goes to hell when we give the Oracle these artifacts? What happens if she says, you know,

you have to go on a mission right now, and we don't get a chance to stop and have a drink of wine. Oh, there's always time for a drink of wine. Thanks, Hoshanat, for protecting this place, by the way. Yeah. It was really nice, so you didn't have to. Yeah.

Well, I admit it was partly out of my own interests. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Being that I knew it would be irresistible to other giants. Yeah. However, I'm ready for the next chapter. Me too. Perhaps our paths will not have to separate immediately.

And he stands up. stretches and starts digging underneath this stone bench you hear the clatter of metal and stone and he withdraws the frost giant thing what is it Reid, Merlin, Christopher Ryan Evans, Mitchell Cadwell, Colin Burkhart, K.R. Kelly McLeysot, creature, Michelle Kohn, Melanie Schen, Maggie Breeze, Stephen Lovett, Brian Blass, Lars, Gray, Bryn Marie, Tara, Doug, Marie Kahniski, and Michael and Brianna Webber. See you soon!

write a song called the spider oh there's a song called the spider