Dice Shame - 16 | 'Shoot Square'

Episode Date: January 30, 2020

The battle continues as our heroes face their first BIG threat... Dice Shame is a podcast that welcomes its audience to the gaming table. There’s nothing quite like getting together with your close friends on game night, getting the snacks out, and rolling some dice together. Right now we’re playing through Storm King’s Thunder, an adventure for D&D 5th edition. Like the games we play at home, we try not to take ourselves too seriously. The show is entertaining, inclusive, and irreverent, while still taking the rules (somewhat) seriously. As for the eponymous Dice Shame? When the rolls get cold—well, you’ll have to tune in to find out! Episodes are released every Thursday at 1:20 am. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

May the hammer of Moradin come down on our foe. Next scene, get behind cover. I know what I'm doing, boy. That's right, you bug Bay bastards. Get ready for a bit of your medicine. Eat that shamed Sarberist. This is such a great club. You hear Kieran scream.

Jack looks him dead in the eyes and says no. Not today, Dungeon Bay. I'm hit and down. Dorian falls unconscious. No! Now I'm awake. Welcome back to Dyshame. This is episode 16, shoot square.

MVP this week goes to Stephen Gene Mills, who gave us a glowing review on Podchaser, join the Facebook group, and said that Red was his favorite character. Back at you, buddy! Thank you so much to everyone who's been positively reviewing our podcast. We are so pleased with the reception.

How many people go? go down in this episode again, Jack, Kralot, Dorn. Everyone dies. CPK? Yeah, this is a total party boy. We don't go down that easy. Let's get to it. Okay, guys, you've had a week to think about this invasion.

The attack on Goldenfields. Have you had any thoughts slash brainwaves? Yes, we're going to die. Yeah, it's not great. Not a good situation. You're quick. your boots. I'm quaking in something. Wait, is quaking taking a number two? I'm ready for action. Yeah, Doran is ready for action. He's salivating over the dead corpses of all these creatures

we've killed. Should we place bets on who's going to die this episode. Yes. The enemies. That's right. Definitely some hobgoblins are going to die. Definitely. Hobgoblins? We haven't seen this thing. Bugger bears. Bug bears. Oh, that's the one. Bugab bears. Bugabers. Bugabers. A little stroll for a baby this goblins really bug me yeah me too and the bug bear is really goblin me

do you guys want to talk at all out of game about any of the resources that you have going into the second half of this combat or I would love to Joe why don't we let's do it okay Jack I would like to know what spell slots how many spells

so I've used all my third level spell slots I've got three second levels and three first levels left cool what do you have Justin, what's Kralov got going on? So I've got my domain stuff. I've got my eyes to the grave thing. So if we need to do double damage to something,

that's still available. Amazing. But then spells, so for healing, I'm really thinking I should just save all of these spells for healing, at least for now, and let you take, because it sounds like you still have a lot of the damage stuff. Yeah, a little bit.

A little bit. What I've prepared is more control-e stuff, actually. So we'll see whether or not that's needed. Well, I mean, Red and Doran can handle. dealing damage. If I can just focus on it. I've got one level three spell left and two level two spells left

and two level one spells left. So five spells total. Hey, Doran, how many axes you got going? I've only got the one axe. But I do have... Is it reusable? It is. It's a reusable axe. Oh, good. I've been using it the whole time.

Environmentally friendly. At will. My axe is very intricately smith. No, but I have three helps. health potions, a heroism potion, which we found that was in the tower. Morac or gays. Oh, was it? Yeah, you took that from him.

Stolen from a friend. He gave him the armor back. Just like the best things are. We've also got this bag of magic dust. When we get desperate, we will throw a magic dust. We don't know what it does at them. Or snort it. I mean, yeah.

Take a bump and be like, fuck it, let's do this. This magic dust makes me fly. Doren, you're just high, man. No, for real. My feet are not on the ground. I've also got a healer's kit and some chicken and saffron. Oh, chicken and saffron. Let's write that down.

And I have three spells left. Two second spell slots, one which includes silence to get some of those somatic verbal components out of the way if a castor comes on the field. And one first level spell. Probably will be used for Hunter's Mark. You have cure wounds as a first level spell, right? I do. Yeah. So if you don't feel like you want to cast size.

Islands or pass without trace, you can still use those second-level spall slots as resources. Perfect. Beyond that, I have the bag of holding, piece of cloud, and a hair from Zephyros' head. Oh, yeah. It's a beard hair, isn't it? Or a beard hair. Well, it's still from his head. Cloud giant beard hair.

Yeah, I forgot about those. I'm ready to fight. I'm ready to fight. I'm ready to fight, too. Maybe they'll be friendly giants. You stand in the middle of a half-harvested wheat field in the pre-dawn darkness. The moon casts scant light down on you, and mist swirls around the bodies of the goblins, bugbears, and ogres you've just slain. You're a motley crew of defenders.

We have Doran, Miros, Jack, Z, Kraloth, Naxine, red, liferous, and two awakened trees. Through the grove, back toward the middle of the village, you hear the Abbey begin to ring its bell, and the Abbot's voice rises above it all. Two arms! Two arms! Attacker is in the town square! More? We just killed almost an entire army.

Several scores, I believe. Doran, do you have any of those health potions left? I've got a few here. You take one? And I pass one to red? Honestly, maybe I should just take two, because if one of you goes down, I can zip-z-zab-Zabooie over to you

and pour it down your gullet. Sure. I'll keep one for myself, then. Not a bad idea. So I'll take two health potions from the lovable dwarf. Here you go, light foot. What? What? Well, you're light on your feet.

I'm just saying. You run it around. You're the light foot. That is not an okay term where I'm from. This is actually a very respectful term in the ranks of Dwarven armies. How's everybody doing health-wise? I'm hit. I'm down to 28 hit points.

I'm also hit. I'm down to 29. I've got 29 hit points. Same with Krayloff. We're all in the 28, 29 area. What about you, Wizard? I got all 38. Oh, nice.

So you're going to be taking it. Oh, how nice. Nope. Hiding at the back. Also, it's important to remember that I have inspiration. Does anyone else have inspiration? I also have inspiration as well. I think everyone acts.

Everyone does. But I don't have a Starburst. This is a fully loaded inspiration party. All right. How's everybody feeling? Motivated to kill. I suppose we should head over to that abbot. Hold on, hold on.

Does anybody need a heel right now? No, I can push on. I can too. Let's go. And Kelim Vorgadus. Come on, Liferlis. And Red, like, smacks the trunk of Liferlis. And he's like,

Rhydrh, right. Oh, yeah, you're riding in the tree. And he, like, turns around and starts heading towards the ringing bell of the abbot. Um, yeah. So you head back down the road toward the center of golden fields in this darkness. Dark shapes move here and there Between the long houses of golden fields You see candles and lanterns appear in some windows

The Abbey's bell has roused some villagers out of their beds You can hear heavy footsteps But their source isn't immediately visible The chatter of goblins echoes out From behind some tables in the center of town Your campfire from earlier in the night Is a pile of smoking embers Doren yells out to anybody listening

Pick up your arms. We've got enemies at our gates. So we have monsters in the town square. We've got a set of tables from the High Harvest Tide celebrations that were left out. There's still the remnants of the feast on them from villagers who were too tired to finish cleaning up before they went to bed. Behind those tables, a number of shadowy figures hunch and chatter in fission. fear. These are goblins. There are a couple of other larger shapes roaming around the town square. They look to be similar to the bug bears that you had been fighting earlier. And do you hear

the heavy ominous footsteps of ogres? Why don't you roll for initiative? Oh yeah. Let's do it. Rob, what does Jack and Z have for initiative? So Jack, Kieran, and Z got a 17. What has been Kieran doing this whole time? Keeping an eye for invisible shit. Good for them. Alex, what about Doran and Miroz? 11 for Doren and 11 for Miros, because they're the same. Harlan, what did red and leafless get?

12. Justin, Kraloth, and Naxine. They got an eight. So it's the goblin's turns. There are approximately ten of them hiding behind these dining tables. Five goblins stand up from behind these tables and draw back their short bows. They fire at Doran. Doran stands strong.

Does a 22 hit you? Lifts his shield, but a little too high and a 22 hits me. And a 21 also hits you? Yeah. So three of these hit and one of them is a crit. Oh, my God. Three of five. Ten piercing damage from the one arrow as it penetrates your chest.

There's a weak spot in your armor. Wow. I'm rolling rocks to start out with, guys. That's six more damage from a sad. The second arrow and the final arrow hits you for seven damage. 23 points of damage. The other two arrows from the goblins just bounce off your armor as you are pretty severely injured. The next five goblins fire at Naxine.

Kralath would be in front of Naxine. Sure. It's something that's been established. It is something that's been established. 21 hits for sure, but I believe a 13 does not hit. No, it does not. So one of five arrows find their way to you, Krayloth. And you take seven points of piercing damage as you are jabbed by this arrowhead.

Ooh, now I'm awake. They're going to take the hide action now as a bonus action, because that's how goblins do their shit. He's hiding. About five of them successfully hide. You can see five of them still standing up behind their light cover. but five of the goblins disappear into the mist. Are any of them moving, or are they all just hiding where they are? They're all just hiding where they are.

Okay. Jack and Z, it's your turn. So I think the first thing that I would like Kieran to do is just go fly up a little bit, see if you can sniff out, see, get any sense of who's hiding where, what's going on, anything they can report back from 100 feet in the air above me, just to see if they can figure out where those shapes behind that we heard, but couldn't see you were or something. Whatever you say, boss.

Kieran takes to the air and they circle around these long houses. In the dim moonlight, they can see there are two ogres, one to the left of your party, one to the right of your party, coming around the side of these long houses. They are equipped with very terrifying great clubs. There are ogres on either side of these buildings, so don't run and get flanked by him. Jack sort of shouts to everybody.

Doron responds. With three hit points. Bra. Six. Jack runs to the side, gets a little bit of cover on the side of one of these log houses, and conjures a flaming sphere out in the battlefield near the picnic tables that were there that are providing these goblins cover, giving them something to hide, sort of figuring, let's light it up.

They can't stay too close to a bonfire. And once the fireball lands and starts lighting up the tables around it, Jack wills it forward, just sort of running along the table runners catching them on fire until it runs into a creature. If it does run into a creature certainly does. Oh, interesting.

Even if they're hiding, it'll stop and that creature could make me a lovely dexterity saving throw. And you're looking for a 15. That's a nine. That's not going to do it. So that guy can take eight fire damage. He dead.

Nice. Poof. Yeah, you barbecue a goblin. And Doran licks his lips. The scent wafers. towards Doran, appealingly. I think I look towards Doran and just like shiver, trying to pretend I don't see the look on his face.

Like, we just had a really big meal. I used to think it was just Doran being like living on trail rations out in there, but he might actually eat Goblin, and I'm not sure I'm okay with that. So I'm just going to take a little cover against the wall. Z, can Z see? The bug bearers? Yeah. Yes, she can.

Perfect. She will move towards the other wall and throw a stone with her stone. sling at the closer one and maybe then take cover. How do we feel about a 10? For the bug bears? Yeah. That does not hit. Then that stone goes, as stones do, clattering to the ground.

Red and Liferless. Oh, right. You know what? Red will shout out to everyone and take cover next to the buildings. Because I think the buildings would provide arrow cover from everything that's attacking to us right now. They're sort of on either side of us. Can I see a bug bear from where I'm standing? You can.

Yeah. there's a slight, the moon is covered in some cloud, but even the people who don't have dark vision can see fairly well. Wonderful. So because the bug bear has yet to attack, I will have advantage on it because of my primeval awareness. And I will also cast Hunter's mark. Do it. 17. 17 hits. 12. 12 damage to the bug bear.

Palpable hit. Are you attacking again? I will be attacking again, and this time I will be doing it with the sharpshooter perk. So this will be at a negative five to hit. In fact, Doren yells up to you in the tree and says, palpable! Thank you, buddy! 17. 8 and 8, 16, minus one, 50.

30 damage. Is that it? Palpable. Yeah, the arrow sings straight through his jugular. And he hits the ground in a shower of blood. And I say, that's right, you bugbear bastards. Get ready for a bit of your medicine. Liferlis is still pretty far from the action. He's going to move up next to the house to make sure he's sort of out of bowfire.

Beyond that, I don't think, I want to lure the enemies to us rather than us move out into the open. And this is something that I would sort of, again, reiterate to everybody. Let's use this to our advantage. We're in a good position right now. We have cover from two buildings. The trees, however, are a bit more expendable. But you know what? I think they're going to hug the corners of the two buildings.

And they're going to prepare an action. You've heard of tree huggers? Tree huggers? And they're going to ready an action so that the first enemy that rounds those corners they will take an attack. Perfect, yeah. If they come within melee range

of those awakened trees, the trees will attack. Exactly. Okay. Doren and Miros. So Miros is going to attack first and he pulls out his heavy crossbow. Take one of my shots.

It's like I'm working at the bar At the tavern This one is called Miroz's crossbow shot He's not thrown away his shot Oh it's a nine Any of them in cover? It doesn't matter

It doesn't hit the goblin That's Meros has been pretty shitty at fighting He is thrown away his shot He's more of a melee fighter But he doesn't have enough HP to be a tank Yeah he doesn't really get up close anywhere So there are two buildings here through which our adventuring party has come into the square.

And now seeing all the combatants, it seems like the PCs and our NPCs are sort of choosing a building to the left or to the right and sort of huddling there in the shadow of these buildings for cover. Doran, what do you do? Okay, so first attack. I'm going to attack this goblin with my crossbow. So I pull up my crossbow. Roll the hit.

And I miss with a seven. Yeah, you missed. 14. Ooh, that just misses the bolt, sings by the goblin's head. Then I'm also just going to take a bonus action, which I have here, which is my second wind, which is to regain HP. So I'm adding 1D10 to my level. One.

No. One plus five, so six hit points. That's not nothing. It's not terrible. No. So just, I'm going to move over beside Jack. To the northern building or to the southern building? We'll say these southern.

Okay, that's the one with Jack and Liferluss and Red and one of the awakened trees. Yeah, put me there. Right against the wall. Great. The bug bear that is farthest away from you uses his turn to dash forward. So this hulking figure just starts running across the square. That'd be so scary. Yeah.

It's not okay. I'm picturing these guys with like massive like world of war. and we almost just might see the light on his armor from this bonfire he's like in a silhouette these these are not creatures that you've ever dealt with before tonight but they are goblinoid

but they look like they're on steroids I'm picturing like Urukai yes so they are muscular they are well armored and very smart they're intelligent and they have some serious heavy weaponry the other two close in on you

and then heft javelins. Both of them attack the awakened tree that is protecting Miros, the one on the north side. So we have Z and Miros cowering behind this tree. Tactically. A 16 and a 10? So the 10 misses, 16 hits,

however, are javelins piercing? Yes. They have resistance to piercing. 10 piercing damage, so that's five. Okay. Amazing. Okay. Kralov and Naxine, it's your turn.

Kralov hunkers down and says, Naxine, get behind cover. And Naxine responds, I know what I'm doing, boy. She steps out from behind Kralath, and she's going to cast firebolt on this bug bear that's very conspicuously standing in the middle of the square. Yeah, he's just finished loosing a javelin at this awakened tree.

Exactly. And as he turns his head slowly, he sees this firebolt shooting from her hands right towards him. and she has to make a ranged spell attack. Oh, it's a three. Oh, no. And the firebolt sails over the bugbear's head, and he turns back and looks kind of confused.

No? Pat's himself, he's completely fine. And she curses and begins walking away. And Kralath, you were saying? And Kralov is going to cast cure wounds on Doren. He's going to put a hand on your shoulder and say, stay on your feet, brother. Oh, my bones.

Thank you so much. They're so broken. I've got this arrow in my chest right now. So 12 points, you're going to heal. Tasty. Back up to 24 hit points. Nice. And that's that.

Whoa. All right, boys. Two ogres lumber from around the sides of these houses. They bowl. pull out javelins and aim them at the creatures that are least protected by the awakened trees, that would be Miros and Krayloff. No, no! I'm going to give you guys each half-cove, so that's a plus two to your AC.

Okay. Let's see how it goes. Okay, so Miros, that is 23 to hit. Yeah, you hit. And an even 20 for Kralov. Tie goes to the attacker? Yeah, it does. Tie goes to the person rolling the dice, whether that's the attack or the defender.

Quick, Jason, roll a dice. All right, so two hits with these big, bad ogre javelins. Miros takes eight piercing damage. Kralath takes minimum damage. Oh, good. Six. The javelin goes into Miroz's thigh, and you see him clasp his leg, and he is in severe pain. His teeth are grinning in his blood coming out of his gums.

Does he have gingivitis? This is so painful. All right, top of the round, we've got goblin time. They all just start all of the goblin's peasant. pick themselves up from where they're hiding in the fog behind these tables, emboldened by the approach of the ogres, and they just start running at you across the darkened square. Jack and Z, how do you respond?

The first thing Jack does is call that flaming sphere from around this table that he set on fire 30 feet towards that last goblin there and run right into him. Kaboom, I'm going to make a Dex save. Yes, please. That is an eight. An eight is not going to do it. So how does he feel about nine fire damage? He is roasted.

Perfect. He's dead. More roasted goblin. We're loving it. Seeing an awful lot of goblins rushing towards this. Z is going to aim at one square in the head with her sling and fire gets a natural 20. Oh. Well done.

Don, dun, dun, dun, dun, don't, dun, d'all read for this. And six damage to that one is this rock hits it square in the head. That's the saddest crit I've ever seen. Hey, 2D4 is not nothing. Are any of the bug bears hurt or everybody else is laughing? One of the bug bears is injured, yes. Yeah. Bleedy bug bear in the middle there, I'm going to...

It's my favorite band. Right, Bleedy Bugbear? Well, their greatest hit Toll the Dead is about to come on, and Jack is going to start calling this bugbear's soul out of his body, ringing the bell that says, just go right to the grave. So spooky. Yeah, so give me that saving throat. I rolled an eight. How do you feel about 15 necrotic damage?

Yeah, he dead. Yeah. He shrivels up as if being consumed by, like, high... pressure or gravity from the inside. I love this like mist of his soul leaving his body and just the flesh necrotizing around the openings where it's leaving and he's just a slump crumbled mess in the middle. All right, red, Liphilus, what do you do? I'm going to start with the trees, the ancient trees.

And starting with the one in the south, he's going to step forward and he's going to attack that ogre. Ooh, and the 10 is going to miss. Yeah. And second attack. Fourteen? Yeah, you hit. Good.

Oh, that sucks. Nine damage. And you know what? The other tree to the north will attack the two goblins in front of him. Oh, 19 to hit. That's perfect. Yes, sir. First goblin will take.

So 11 damage to the first goblin. He dead. And the second goblin, 18 hit. Yes, sir. You're squishing these guys like black flies. We'll take 10 damage. He's also dead. And both the trees sort of did half their movement.

So the north one will move back to provide cover to Miros and Z. Liferless, I think unfortunately we'll stay here right now too. I just think it doesn't make sense right now for him to move in. And Red will spend his bonus action to move Hunter's mock onto the ogre in front of the tree. And despite him being in cover, because he's in front of the tree, I ignore it as my sharpshooter perk. That's correct, Harlan. Amazing. So I'm going to...

Amazing. I am going to use my sharpshooter perk. It happens regardless of I use it, but I will use it on him plus my hunter's mark. So let's see what happens. Do you want inspiration? No. Thank you, though. I feel good about this.

Chester. Tester. 10 to hit. No, sir. You miss. Bama. All right, I will tack again without my sharpshooter perk. Do you want inspiration on this one?

Sure, fine. If you want to give it to me, I'll take inspiration. Yeah. All right, Red? You have your own inspiration. Whoa. I'm going to use my inspiration for when I level up so I can roll more hit points, frankly.

Okay, I'll use my own. Well, it's potential. It's potential. Everyone has inspiration right now, and you're taking Rob's inspiration. He offered it. Do you not want to offer this because I do have my own? I don't roll a ton of advice. You should use your inspiration to Rob.

Okay, you know what? I'm going to take Rob's inspiration. Thank you, Rob. I appreciate that so much. And I'm going to, then I'm going to do sharpshooter again, and I'm going to roll with advantage. All right. Oh, no.

Oh, no. Three and a four. Oh, my God. Thank you, Rob, nonetheless. No, red misses. Fuck. And I will, yeah, just stay cowering behind the branches. At least let Rob beat the Starburst.

You want the Starburst? No, I'm okay. It's all yours. Eat that shame starburst. Doran and Miroz. Meros is going to go first because he's a lameo. Aw. Well, as far as battle goes, I mean, the guy's a tavern owner.

He did just take a spear to the leg. He is kind of lame now. How many hit points is he? So. I'm going to take a group poll here. Okay. Does Miros, with his one hit point, go running into battle. No.

Or back right out. He backs out. Hands for running into battle. Oh, everybody thinks I should run into battle. No, what would he do? What would Miros do? He would basically go down on a blaze of fury. Yeah.

Well, his family's dead. His family's been killed. That's right. Oh, you're asking, what would Miroos do? Let's get in the mindset. Yeah, what's his character? But think of his family was just killed. You've got relics to look after.

You need to keep a home for this poor tressum. And you know what? People do rely on the tavern. He's very proud of this North Furrow's End. Did you know North Furrow Road is like the road that leads up to Goldenfield? So his tavern is named as like this is the end of the line. So he's standing there with his club in his hand, his big crossbow. And flashes go through his mind of, you know, visitors coming into the tavern, having heart to hearts.

him, you know, having deep conversations and inspiring people, some people drinking their sorrows away. And he realizes that he plays a big part, not just in this battle, but also in the life here at Goldenfields. And he, he's going to attack with his crossbow and then disengage from the battle and hide up against the side of the building. So that's a 14 plus two to hit the ogre. Yeah, you hit. All right. Plus a 1D10 not adding anything. Okay. Three. Three damage. It's not nothing. I hit somebody finally.

I have to cover. And he kind of squirmes back and... Put pressure on the wound, Miroz. That's right. Yeah. What does Doran do? Doran does something entirely different altogether. Doran after feeling so much more enthralled after being healed, he picks up his axe.

He kind of bounces it in his one hand while holding into the hill. Hefts it. Yeah, that's right. Hefts. And he... comes running around the living tree and attacks the ogre. And he takes... This dwarf, like, stands as tall as the ogre's thigh.

Yeah, not even. This isn't the first time you've gone toe to toe with an ogre. But it'll be the last. So he's just... He's going to make a serious attack here. And you know what? I'm going to use inspiration. Yeah.

I'm going to attack 17. How much damage do you deal? Eight damage. Good, good stuff. On attack number one. Attack number two, so I've got two attacks, is a nine to hit. No. That's the end of my turn, thank you.

One of the bug bears is attracted by all of the movement as Doran runs forward and slices into the ogre. He runs over to Doran and tries to hit him 18 to hit. Oh, he hits by a hair on my chinny chin chin. That's 15 piercing damage. Jesus. Maybe you didn't need to roll up a sixth level character after all. And the other bug bear rushes forward, sees Jack cowering strategically behind the awakened tree and pulls a javelin off of his back to hit him, launches it into the night sky.

Oh, I have to roll with this advantage because of the range. He's still a little bit too far away. Excellent. 17 to hit? So it would hit, but Jack sees this bug bear coming, looks him dead in the eyes and says no and holds up his hand and the shield of magical force surrounds Jack and it stops the javelin dead as his AC jumps from 15 to 20 until the start of his next round. Not today, Dungeon Bay.

Kraloth and Maxine, you see Doren take this huge hit from the bug bear and he's also being surrounded. There's an ogre in front of him and a goblin sneaking up from the side. And he looks majestic. He's like taking damage here. It's mostly just javelins going through his chest, majestically. But he's smiling. There's so much blood in his beard. Kralath shakes his head and says,

Gell Mvore, guide my hand. And he's going to move up behind the tree. And as a bonus action, he's going to cast shield of faith on Doren, which gives Doren a plus two to AC. Nicely done. Doren, what's your hit points looking like? My hit points are at nine. Okay.

You cannot cast another spell as your action unless it's a cantrip. Beautiful. This is very, very helpful for me. So thank you. And then in that case, I'm going to cast sacred flame. And I'm going to cast it on, how's the ogre looking? He's not bloodied yet. And the other one has not been injured.

Who is looking the weakest right now? So currently we have one ogre, one ogre who's been hurt, six goblins total, one of whom is very badly injured. You know what? And two bug bears, both of them are shiny. I have made my decision. I'm going to do it on the ogre, the one that's been damaged. Okay.

So he's got to make a dexterity save as I move my hands around and try to. Not the most dexterous creatures. That's a six. It's going to take a ray of light from the heavens. Actually, yeah, yeah. It shoots from my holy symbol. It goes around the tree and smites this. It's like that Madonna song.

Come in like a ray of light. How much damage does he? he take? So 11 points of damage. Ooh, that's good. That's good. Okay, what does Naxine do? Maxine is going to move forward. She sees Miros, like, taking cover because he's almost dead.

She sees Doren severely injured. So then I'm going to cast lightning bolt. Oh. And I'm going to cast it this way. Yeah, so using that angle, you can definitely hit both of the bug bears. The ogre and that one goblin in the very back. Both bug bears, the ogre, and the one goblin in the back. That's right.

And it's going to sizzle right by Doran. I'm going to have to make a series of deck saves. So here I go on the bug bears. The closest bugbear to Naxine succeeds on the deck save. Then the farther bug bear fails, the ogre fails, and the goblin saves. Okay. So two of them hit. That's not bad.

They're going to take 8 D6 damage. That's fun to roll all those dice. Oh, that's a good looking roll. So 6, 12, 17, 21, 31 points of damage. I don't know if it's plus anything. No. 31 points of total damage. Maxine aims her hand down this line of four bad guys.

The first bug bear sort of dodges out of the way, but still takes some serious. damage. The second bug bear is totally evaporated. All right. He was standing right in front of Doran and that bug bear just like disappears. You just burst of flame. Your beard starts to singe. The ogre that is menacing Doran who he was chopping down like a tree comically goes like, you know how you can see their bones and then you don't see their bones and then you don't see their bones and then you don't see their bones and they're being electrocuted. That until he's dead. Home alone too style. Yeah. And then the

Goblin in the back, obviously, is just, like, incinerated. So that's three bad guys dead. Nice. Good round. Good job next scene. Did you move that goblin already? I did. Or is it this one? No. So her plan originally was to do that and then Misty stepped back, but she's already cast. So she cannot do that. The uninjured ogre lumbers forward toward this spellcaster who just pulverized his companions.

And he's going to attack her with his gray club. This is such a great club. She readjusts her half moon spectacles as she looks up at this hulking beast. 22 to hit. Oh, that's a hit. And he deals 14 bludgeoning damage. She is knocked into the ground and just manages to push herself back up with half of her glasses broken. Oh, no.

Maxine. And Kralov shouts, Maxine! Mom, I mean, next scene. It's like when you call the teacher. Yeah, and Doreen, Doreen turns, and like, I think there's a lot of, there's sort of a similar exclamation from Doren. What does it sound like, Doren? He says, uh, oh, Maxine.

Maxine. Maxine. Their name's not even right. Maxine. What the fuck's your name again? It's Naxine with an N-A-X, N-A-X, Maxine. I thought it was Maxine this whole time. No, no.

Three goblins rush up to Doren. Oh, welcome. And try to slice at him with their scimitars. That's two twenty-ones and a seventeen. Damn. That's six and seven slashing damage. So 11 total. I'm hit and down.

No. Dorin falls unconscious. The other two goblins continue to rush forward into the space between these two buildings. And each of those goblins are going to fire arrows at next scene from their short. bows. I'm not surprised. I'm not surprised. That's a 12 and a 14. The 12 misses. And because this is a new round, when the other one fires as well, Naxine just manages, she's still recovering from the big ogrehead. She manages to get her shield up just in time and the arrow clatters against a invisible force field. Love it. Jack and Z. All right. So the first thing Jack does is bring that flaming sphere

come crashing into a goblin, who I'd love to make a dexterity save looking for... 12. Well, that's not going to do it. So he can cook. It's actually only three damage, so... Let's say maybe that that's the one that Z clonked.

Sure. Actually, I think it was. I think it was, too, actually. It's dead. It had a concussion, and then it died. Four goblins, one ogre, and one bug bear remain. Yeah. Z is looking at that ogre, real menacing-like.

Jack looks over, seeing that ogre, smash into uh naxine not loving that kieran try try and distract it see if you can get z a shot and and brings kieran in to try and help z get a get a real good shot at this ogre hoping to use the help action get some advantage going you certainly can yeah so you use your tressum familiar as uh distracting force on the battlefield yeah um not super helpful how do we feel about 11, 13. That hits. Oh, sweet. That'll be six damage. Then seeing that, that wound connect on the ogre and seeing this like hole in its life force open up, Jack's going to reach out to it and start saying the words and trying to pull the life out of that ogre as well, tolling the dead,

hoping that he's going to fail this save that is a wisdom save. 15. 15 is my number, so sadly he does. Kieran's going to try and move out of the, the ogre space. Okay, so it's going to take an attack of opportunity against you? Yeah, but that means that we won't have a reaction left to try and hit next scene. Wee-hoo. Drawing out the reactions. That's smart. That is really smart.

I didn't even think about that. So you only get one tack of opportunity. Yeah. Wow. Unless otherwise stated. That only ever comes from somebody who's a very experienced. 23 to hit. Definitely hits my poor Tressum.

11. In that moment right before Kieran would suffer. As the weapon connects, but before we see any gruesome splatter of my poor kid. You hear Kieran scream. And then disappear. Red and liverless. All right. The southern tree is going to go first.

There are two goblins hovering over my unconscious friend, Doren. He's going to attack one of them first, the one closest, with a 18. Yeah. And he is going to do 6, 7, 8, 9 damage. Murdered. And he's going to attack the one farther with a 17 plus 6. And he is going to do 8, 9, 10, 11 damage. Also murder.

And that tree is going to. move towards the other goblins. The other tree is going to attack the bug bear. So this is the tree that's sort of behind Naxine. To the north, yeah. He's going to attack the bug bear in front of him. I believe he can with the reach. Yeah, he's going to have to avoid Naxine, so I'm giving partial cove.

Yeah. That'll work. Yeah, he moves over. Yeah, just take a side step. It takes a step forward. And he's going to hit with a 16. Yep. And that's going to be 13.

Damage. Dead. And then he is going to attack one of the goblins. Cleaning up the battlefield here. With a 18. That hits. And he's going to do 15 damage. Dead.

Outrageous. Then Red is going to scale down from the tree very quickly. Using his feline agility. He's going to move across the map towards Doren. Okay. And I'm going to cast cure wounds at a second level. Wow. Look at this turn.

Good round. Holy moly. And I'm going to roll 2D8 plus my modifier, which is three, I believe, for my wisdom. No, two, sorry. 16 hit points back to Doren. 16 hit points? Yeah. And I'm alive.

Yeah. So it's just like, whoop. And it's like, ooh. You're still on the ground. You're still prone. Your eyes flutter open and you see red above you. And I grin. Red.

By golly, I owe you a shave. What is with the shaving? 16 hit points? Yeah. And I only get an extra attack when I attack. so I did not. So that'll be that. And then Liffelis will move over,

and he is in range of only the goblin, correct? Yes. Then what happens? He will attack with a 20. Yep. 15 damage. Okay, he's more than double killed. So there is only the ogre left on the map.

There is just an ogre all... We went from, what, five goblins, a bug bear, and Doran down to Doran up. Map cleared, save the ogre. You know what? That's insane. Good move. Good turn.

Dorin opens his eyes and he nods. Robert Redford and that it's your turn Doran then what do you do Doran stands up that's half your movement thanks red through like tears is like of course buddy I couldn't do it without you I'll just shoot I'll shoot my crossbow because what the hell I might as well make two attacks with the crossbow do it 16 to hit the ogre yes sir okay doing seven points of damage absolutely okay and then a second attack 10 with a 10 no that misses Muros? Oh, Miros.

No, Miros is just... He's like a Pokemon. He just says his own name all the time. Kraloth and Naxine, what do you do now? So, Naxine, looking up and seeing this ogre swatting at Kieran, she is going to take the opportunity to step back out of his range. And he's distracted. He does not swing at you.

And I feel like as Kieran dies by the club of this ogre, she recognizes like, oh, that That wizard's sacrifice is familiar for me. Yes, definitely. There's respect there. So she's going to cast firebolt. Mm-hmm. Nope, she misses. She's not good with that.

She curses again and then walks back behind cover. Fiddle, faddle. Crayloth. Top. Okay, so Crayloth is going to move away from cover. He's going to see that Doren is not doing very well, but with the distance between them, he's not going to spend one of his spells.

And he's going to cast a cantrip to take down that ogre all right sacred flame he's got to do a dexterity check i will try my very ogre best the 14 i think that's okay yeah so he saves last the ogre takes two big strides toward the awakened tree that's right beside him on the south side of this uh set of houses and as you look up you see like all of the villagers in these long houses are looking at their windows at you you've like accumulated quite the audience. The ogre smashes at this tree with his great club. That's 12 to hit.

It misses. Yeah. So that's the ogre's turn. The goblins are all dead. I suck so hard. I missed a tree. Jack and Z. So Z is going to line up her sling and take another shot at this ogre.

And a 10 is probably going to miss. That's right. And Jack is going to move to get it sort of lock eyes with this ogre. try again to say those words to necrotize his flesh and free that soul. That's a two. That'll fail. So how do we feel about 10 necrotic damage? Nicely done.

He's like, that scab on my leg is infecting really quickly. It's no good. He's looking kind of bloody now, red and lifilus, and the awakened trees, it's your turn. The awakened trees will attack the ogre till it's dead. Let's start with the one with the north. It will hit with a 16. Sorry, a 15. Yes, it will.

And that is 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 damage. Nice. And the second one, sorry, it'll attack again with a 19. Yep. And it will do 12 plus 16 damage. Okay. The one to the south of it will attack with a 8. No, that misses.

And it will attack again with a 12. Yep, that hits. For 16 damage. Yeah, these heavy limbs of the awakened trees, just mash and pulverize the huge body of the ogre and they just turn him into an absolute bloody pulp.

Amazing. Is he still alive? Oh, wow. Oh, no, he's dead. Woo! All right. So, you guys have vanquished this third set of combatants.

What do you do now? Are we still initiative order? No. I would love to run around and pick up the javelins. Four of them are in very good conditions still. Perfect.

Some of them were splintered by hitting armor, et cetera. But, yeah, you can recoup four javelins. You know what? I'll just give all four to Doren, I think. Kraloth is going to, while Red is running around and looting bodies, he's going to step into the center and say, everyone who needs healing, gather around. We'll take 10 minutes, I suppose to do that.

Yep. Miros, Red, Doran, Naxine, Z, and the tree will all get around because the tree took a negative five hit. Do we have time to just take a short rest? I wish we could know who else needed help. Well, let's find out. And I'm going to climb Liferless, and I'm going to do a perception check. Okay. No.

However, Liferlis also has the ability to sort of, as you said, sense what's on the ground. Can he feel anything? Sure. While he's doing this, Krayloth throws his shield and his weapon to the ground. He kneels with his holy symbol, and he begins casting prayer of healing. As Kralath gives you all this prayer of healing, you have 10 minutes to sort of swap around your belongings, do some looting, and pursue. receive that more danger is going down. After the 10 minutes, Krayloth, how much healing does everyone receive?

10 plus 3. Nice. So we all get 13 hit points back. Anyone else want to do anything while this is happening? Since the prayer of healing is anybody in sight and we're spending 10 minutes, I'm just going to loot everyone around here anyway because I just have to stay in sight of Kralath. Well, it's 30 feet. It's within 30 feet.

Yeah, I mean, you know, let me know when there's nine minutes left or a minute left. I'll run back. But I mean, they're all pretty much close by it. Okay, let me tell you just really quickly about the loot, and then we'll talk about what Liferous perceives. Perfect. You find that each of the bug bears has a pouch that contains gemstones. You find obsidian, malachite, blue quartz, as you're right, lots of different kinds of gems, all different colors. The first one has four gems, then two gems, then four gems, then one gem.

Overall, each gem is worth 10 gold, so you get 110 gold total from these four. bug bears that you loot. Perfect. The goblins have various worthless belongings. You see a necklace made of woven dwarf beards that I'm not sure if you're terribly excited to share with Doren. I take it secretly. Yeah.

There's a bowl made of a human skull, that sort of stuff. That sounds cool. Some like pretty grisly. I think red would be fascinated, not just as red, but like as a taboxia in general, by these weird trinkets, and he would definitely put them in his bag of holding. So that was a dwarven, like, beard. beard necklace and a half skull cup? Yep.

Cool. Liferless stretches his roots down deep into the soil as he watches Kraloth perform his ritual. And after a few minutes, he says, There are more creatures here, big ones. Where are they coming from? Back towards the wall. And he extends one large branch pointing to the southeast. Bigger than the ogres?

But it's hard to tell from over here. Yes. And I hear screams on the wind. Let's go kill some, probably giants, frankly. Want to do anything else? I'm going to doth my studded leather and dawn my scale. Because that's better AC, and I don't need to sneak right now. Yeah.

I'm going to hand my studded leather armor to Muros after I take it off and don my scale mail. I'm like, it's battle time. Need the help. And I hand the stud leather temporarily to Muros and say, maybe you could use this friend. So just a little aside here. The idea of people like doffing armor and swapping it around mid-combat especially

usually doesn't work very well. I think in my head, armor is something that people have kind of personalized based on their body type. You have kind of a tailor-fitted approach to it because this clothing has to fit you so well. No, that's a good point. But we already established in Universe

that Red and Miros are basically the same size because Red wore a suit of Muros' during High Harvest Tide Festival. Bingo, bingo! So I think it totally makes sense that you would be able to give him some of your old armor to wear. In fact, that's so, so smart. In fact, Red would play it up and be like, you let me y'all suit. Now let me lend you mine. And I'd like let him borrow my studded leather armor.

That's awesome. That's so fucking cool. So his AC goes up to 12. The javelins I've collected, I give to Doren to sort of give him a better ranged weapon. And then Dorn, in turn, gave two of his to Miroz. So I've got two javelins. So Mierrez is a little bit more beefy and a little bit more useful in combat. And he's also healed because of Krayloff's healing, which was 13.

So he's back up to 14 hit points, I guess. And during that, while Krayloff is putting his holy symbol away and dusting off and everybody's healed, next scene's going to walk up to Jack and she's going to put a hand on his shoulder. and she's going to say I thank you for your sacrifice of your familiar it's not an easy thing to do because I know how much you care for him so it meant a lot to me that

I am still alive and you'll have to summon him again I'm just glad you're safe we've got to get moving there's God knows what's happening in the wall something big is on the wall and I think Jack you know feels that loss of this constant presence of his familiar that's sort of just always there and now not and is eager to find some time to summon him again.

Doren is a bit embarrassed and a bit sheepish that he got hit down and he says, let me make it up to you and I'll take down some of our foes in this next battle. Come on with the hammer of Moradin. Don't be reckless now. And Red is going to scale up Liferless and we'll all head to the wall. Okay, you guys take off through the fields. As you make your way through the fields,

the sounds of battle get closer and closer. A cloud moves away from the moon and illuminates the scene before you. Two massive figures stand at the base of Goldenfield's impressive wall. Each stands at least 15 feet tall, its body naked to the waist and strapped and hung with huge bags. One bends and breaks off a chunk of stone from the damaged wall and hurls it at a group of soldiers who are firing arrows at it from its left flank, concealed in a cluster of blackberry shrubs. All four of the guards are completely mowed down

as the boulder crushes their hiding spot with a gruesome crunch, a single screen piercing the air. The giants look around stupidly for a moment before they spot you their next targets. Giants! got a tall order to fill with killing these bad boys, but don't worry, Red's got a bingo-bango them back to the new millennium, which is technically the year 1000. Make sure to like and review us on Pod Chaser, and also give me a high-five. See you soon!