Dice Shame - 2-100 | 'Tabula Rasa'

Episode Date: July 25, 2024

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Well, hello there, listeners. As a special treat for joining us on our journey, episode 100 of season two is a little bit different than our standard actual play fair. We've eliminated all table talk and out-of-character dialogue from this recording session, apart from my initial exposition and exit, so that it feels like you're right there with the characters as they experience this tabula rasa. Please sit back and enjoy. As always, thank you so much for listening and for your patronage. When you come to, the echoes have ceased, but you are completely disoriented, having forgotten everything about yourself. With no memory at all of the past hours, weeks or even years of your life.

You don't know your own name? Much less how you have come to be on this cavern floor. And what's more? There is a human man lying beside you. Dressed in gleaming plate armor. He's tall and well-built, a shadow of dark stubble on his chin and wary, thoughtful eyes. His breastplate is marked with a symbol, a set of scales on a blazing sunburst. Nearby on the ground, amongst your things, bow, a quiver, an axe, a couple of staves,

is a heavy silver mace with a leather-wrapped handle. Oh, my God. Oh. Whoa. Where am I? What the hell am I doing here? Who are you? Who, wait, what's going on?

Who are all of you? That the hell's going on here. Hello? I've got a splitting headache. Yeah, I'm ringing a little bit too, that's for sure. Yeah. I don't know who the hell all of you are. Just stay the hell away from me.

Hey, calm down, calm down. That's what I was going to say. You stay away for, I say from me, you. used to do for me. Okay. Who knows what happened here? Which one of you did this? What?

Not me. I didn't do it. I didn't do anything. I don't even know how I got here. Would it make any sense for it to be one of us? Why would we have done this? I don't know. Wait, why wouldn't any of us done this?

Well, because we're all in the same situation, right? So let's take stock of things. Well, hold on. How do we know we're all in the same situation? Yeah. Well, I certainly don't know who I am or what's going on. You don't know even know who you're. are not really that's ridiculous what you foxman what's your name what's it you oh foxman yes

fox is mine i don't know i don't remember my name well we'll call you fox then that seems to work oh well we yeah all right but i want to call you hume yeah let's go with hume then yes that's all right Oh, thanks Thanks Hey, you look blue Want to call her blue Blue? Blue? How stupid is it to be named after a color? Fine. Fine, we'll call her blue.

And what should we call you, friend? He's got pointy ears, call him pointy. Or ears? Whatever you prefer. Pointy's better. All right then. And this dwarf? Well, that's obvious. My name is... My name is...

Ha, you don't remember your name. My name is Hammer Hammer Must be Hammer All right So we've got Fox Hold on, you think your name is Hammer

Because do you have a hammer on your chest? Yeah I don't think his name is really Hume Because he's a human But we're making a shorthand Yours could be pointy Do you think mine is actually blue? What kind of name is blue?

All right, all right, fair enough Listen, what the hell? So nobody here knows what's going on? No. I guess not. Not a clue. Oh.

Look, if anyone here knows what happened, you have to say the truth in three, two, one go. Okay. I trust all of you for now. We're all in the same boat, at least. Oh, wait, everyone check what they have on them. Maybe we can find out, like, a name or something, you know? Oh. Oh, yeah, yeah.

I have a rat. Oh. A rat? Huh. The foxman has a rat. Like a normal, just a normal rat? Yeah, like from the cave? No, maybe it's your dinner, Foxman.

No, he's not my dinner. How do you know? I think he's my familiar. I think I might be a wizard. I feel magical for sure. Does the rat know who you are? Rat, do you know who I am? No way to know.

What about you guys? You got anything on you? Uh... Whoa, Blue's got a sickle! Maybe, I guess... I guess I'm some sort of warrior or a farmer, but probably a warrior. This doesn't seem useful for anything practical.

Or a warrior farmer. You are very well-armed yet. You look like a crab. Yeah. How dare you? It's not a nice thing to say to a person. How do you know? What if they are a crab?

Blue crabs exist. That's true. That does feel right. I think. Maybe I'm some sort of warrior fighter. Well, maybe this is yours then. This axe here. It's here when you want it

No, no, it's fine I'll take my axe You can kill anything Oh my God, I can't I can and I feel good I guess this staff is mine then Yeah, yeah this feels good These carvings in it are beautiful

Yeah, I think I'm the wizard So, you know That makes sense Yeah What about you, pointy? Going for the rapier and the quiver, huh? This feels right. It looks right.

Yeah. Did you find anything else on your person? A couple of coins here and there, wearing some nice rings. I just feel fancy. You all look very fancy. I'm covering dirt and animal blood. I mean, I must be some sort of... Whoa.

You have a wand? Oh, I'm some kind of magic user. Of course I must be A Druid Yes, of course A druid

Yes, because I'm covered in dirt Oh yeah Look, there's a staff Stuck in the wall here You must have thrown it It's not coming Of course I've used my incredible strength

To javel in this end of the wall Druids are stronger than wizards Very tough at least Yes, I suppose so What about you, Humey? Oh, well, I've got these scales on my armor, so maybe I'm some kind of... Heavy. Merchant warrior.

Maybe your name is Scaly, actually. Scaly? I like it. That makes more sense if he's hammery. Yeah. All right, then, Scaly. I don't know that the names are the important thing, as Pointy said. Ah, they're important here.

I'm a wizard, I know. What are you doing here, Scaly? What are you doing here, Dwarf? A hammer, sorry, hammer. What are you doing here, Pointy? I know two things. Either, to be waking up in a cave at two in the afternoon, we just had a hell of a fun party,

or maybe we're adventurers and something's happened to us. Well, now hold on, how do you know it's two in the afternoon? Yeah, it's got a good vibe about it. And why only two options? How do you know we haven't been trapped down here by some evil sorcerer who's actually on a long mission to kill... Hey, I resent that implication. As a sorcerer slash wizard.

I don't remember being trapped down here, do you? Well, no, but... I don't remember anything. Well, exactly. So why complicated? All right. Well, let's find out if we're even trapped. Great question.

Maybe we should look around. What do you think? Yes, but why doesn't the barbarian lead the way? I can take, I can take points. I think, uh, I don't want you to get hurt. Yeah. Listen, I'm a, I, I prefer to stay back. I use my intellect, not my muscles.

Yes. Same here. and scoff, I say. You worry too much. Let's go. Yeah. Do you know anything? Oh. Can you speak to the animal? Yeah. I should be able to.

Oh. Dude, do you know anything? Yeah, no. The rat doesn't know anything either. His memory must have been wiped as well. All right, Druid, why don't you and I stick together? I think here's the brains of this party. We ought to lay back and assess the situation. Oh, wait, hold on.

Maybe I can solve your memory issues with magic. Can I try to bring your memory back? Oh, I think it's coming, actually. Yeah, no, it doesn't work. Yeah. My staff might have been compromised. Hmm. Yeah.

All right. Let's follow the strongies. Yeah, okay. Let's go this way. Hammery, look. Your footprints, you're leaving mushrooms. Ah. Mushrooms are growing out of where you were just walking.

This makes sense. Part of my druid wizardry. It means I have an effect on the nature around me. Oh, you're right. Wow. Everyone look at the druid. He's doing druid things. That's great. That's beautiful. They're all filled with bugs and ants and stuff and... What are you doing? Hey, where's the exit, little guy? Hmm. Shy, hey? Okay, okay. I'll let you be.

I think they answer too little for me to hear. Oh, definitely, definitely. You know, a... A part of me wants to eat these mushrooms, I don't know why. But as the wizard, that would be silly, so I won't. Yeah. See the mushroom's pointy. Why'd you eat one? Wow, he's so cool.

I mean, silly. What a goofball. Why would you do that? What an idiot. Oh, I want to be like him. Well, it'll probably be fine. It's not a buffet back here. We've got to keep moving.

Right. Sorry, Barbarian. Blue. Lead on. Hey, watch it. Onwards. If I had an ear, that would have cut it off. Wait a minute.

Oh, man! Damn, hey, you don't remember nothing, do you? These scales are pretty cool. No, I don't remember anything. Is it a recent wound, or... Now they feel old. Old... older than... Hey, how old do you think I am?

Think I'm 100? Hmm. Wizards are old. Maybe 200. Mega three. You haven't got any gray hairs. And neither do I. Hey, Humee, what do you got on you?

You never said you had anything on you. I've got this. chest plate and this mace here. It's a set, obviously. It matches my breastplate. See? Sure. And I've got this book here.

It's attached to my belt. I don't think it comes off. Whoa. Seems like a holy book of some sort. Wow, you're a cleric, I think, or a paladin. Hey, I think we're an adventuring party, everyone. I think so. I think the five of us must have been old friends.

My wizard intuition tells me so. Yeah. Makes sense to me. me too oh strong stuff imagine being able to craft such powerful equipment

hey I'm wearing one too he must have made them for us wow the possibilities are endless oh hey wait a minute you got names written on you hey old lovers maybe must be what does this say

jack this one says red what a stupid name for blue maybe that was a past four or a past life. Maybe you can change colors. Try real hard. Does it work?

It's a little purpler now. I don't know. It might be working. My head hurts now. Oh. Whoa, maybe we call you red because when you go into a barbarian rage, you just see red.

That's got to be it. I like that. I think my name must be Jack. Jack, Mary, and Craylon. Although that sounds more like a grandfather's name. Ah, yeah. Maybe that's the wizard, if he's. super old. Oh yeah! I feel like I could be a Kraloth. Huh. And that must make you Māori, uh, you

roguish one. Yeah. Yeah. Mar. It's pretty good. Yeah. Marr, that sounds about right for you. Where's your, where's your accent? It's a Māori, yeah? I mean, Marry. Sounds like you'd have an accent. And that must make Humee, Jack, I guess. Jack is a superhuman name, isn't it though? Yeah. That's true. Boring. That's a nerd name. And he's got a nerd book. Look at the guy. He does, like... Then you are Kralong. Yes, I definitely feel like a Kralath. And of course, the irony is that you're all blue, but your name is red.

The red comes from the blood of the people that I've killed. Whoa. Poetic. Yeah. I don't know if I can be around you if you're this violent. I'm a little nervous now. No, I don't, I wouldn't hurt my friends, but I will hurt anyone who hurts them. Wow.

Whoa. Well, let's see what else in the rest of this room. Yeah. It's the worst that could happen. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, let's keep looking around. Maybe there's an exit. Maybe there's something that...

Maybe this is our home. And actually, we'll find all of our belongings here. We could decorate better if we live here. It is pretty disappointing. I don't think this would be my home. I'm a wizard. I would live in a tower of some sort. Unless you're like a mad wizard in a cave

and you're the one who trapped us here. I don't feel angry. Well, look, I feel like we might be here for a reason, so I think we maybe should keep looking around. Mm-hmm. Let's keep moving ahead. Yeah, following you, Red. Come on.

All right, swing that axe. Let the momentum carry you where it may. Yeah, yeah, this feels good. I'm ready to mess some shit up. Huh. It's a dead end. Oh. Oh, wait.

No, no. There's a door back there, but we can't pass. There's a mirror in the way. Should I smash this? I mean, give it a shot. It looks cool. No, no, no. Wait, look, look, look.

There are scales on the other. side. Just like his. Hey Jack. Come on, Jack. All right, all right. Listen, listen. As the wizard, I have the highest intellect. I think the scales on this guy's chest are the scales on that wall. All right. You can take a look at it, but if that doesn't,

if you guys can't figure it out, it's smashing time. You worry too much. I don't know. That looks dangerous, Mari. You don't want to touch me. Wow! Oh, that was a spark of hell. Oh, boy. All right, I think I've got it out. I've all neutralized it now. Let's give it another go.

Oh! Step back. I'll take care of this. All right, let's see what my powers can do. Tree roots. I must not be very good. I think the magic in this area is suppressed. Yes. It's not your fault. It's my fault.

No. Our fault, I mean. I mean, the cave's fault. I think once we get into some more light, I'll be able to cast better. Look, you martial lugheads. Can the brains take a swing? Fine. It's all yours. Let the man with the scales on his chest try. Go, Humee. I mean, Jack, give it a try.

Wait, you want me to just touch it like you all have been doing and take damage? What, are you afraid? Come on, you coward. Get in there. Come on. All right. Be relax. everyone. Yeah. It's, it's not his fault. He's a scaredy cat. I mean a scary fox. I mean the human. Calm it down there, warriors. Just because we're

brave and strong and cool. Do you think that has something to do with it? What? Oh. The writing? Oh, yes. I'm glad you saw that too. I was waiting to point it out. I didn't want to, you know, I didn't even see that there.

It's writing of some sort. Tell you, this guy's fucking obsessed with words. Yeah. All right, nerds. What's it say? It says, perform your calling to recalling your truth is something or rather like that. So I should be hitting with an axe because my calling is to kick ass. Yeah. Oh, yeah.

Maybe just do like a karate kick in the open space. Yeah. Okay. Perform your calling in truth. Yeah. Well, that makes sense. So, well, what do you think your calling is there, Marie? Oh, I don't know.

Listen, my calling is just to walk through doors, so I'm going to give it another good shot. What's the worst thing going to happen? Well, you probably... I got it. I can't hold on anymore. Okay, I try it. That's it.

Oh, oh, that stings. Step back. Ha! Maybe your truth is to get electrocuted. If it was, the door would have opened. That's good point. I mean, or it's just some dumb words, and a wizard did it, and now we're stuck here with a puzzle.

Hey, I resent that implication. Wizards are the lifeblood of this entire... I don't know where we are exactly, but we're definitely the lifeblood of it. Sorry, I just get my back up against wizard talk. Yeah. I know I defend wizards a lot. I can just tell. Well, they fucking need it.

Let me tell you. Oh, you know what? You and me. Druid, what does your weird nature tell you? Does the dirt whisper to you? Oh, don't tempt him. The wand! Yes, yes.

The one you pulled out of your coat. Use it. Stand back. and watch as I perform this amazing feat. Oh, look at that. Oh, holy crap. I mean, yes. Hold on.

Jeez. Take a second, okay? Great magical wizardry. Figure your nature shit. Well, yeah. I mean, good on you for trying stuff. Okay, listen. Guess the magic is working.

Just because you guys have magic stuff doesn't mean that you should be casting spells all over the place. It's not helping. Well, look, Humee, we're on you here. You're the one with the scales on your chest. Maybe you need to take off your armor. Maybe the armor needs to go through the door. Maybe we need to be naked.

Not taking off my armor. Oh, okay, look, look, look, look. I'm clearly the brains. I can solve this problem. Well, let's say again. I forgot. Perform your calling to recall your truth. Right, right, right.

Okay, okay, okay. Look, I'm going to perform some magic. All right. Just, everyone be quiet because wizards need silence to work. I'm sure of that. I got a good sense of rhythm, though. I was into it. Maybe you're some sort of acrobat. Maybe you're a bard. I'm a wizard. I resent the implication. God, us wizards don't get enough credit.

I know. I just think magic users are just big weenies sometimes. Hmm. You know what? Hammer! Just point that, warn that her. No. Hey, now, everybody, calm down. Calm down. Listen. All right, all right.

I'm not going to hurt anybody. Fox, I feel like maybe you and I got off on the wrong foot. Krayloth is my name. Krayloth. Sorry, Kralath. I really didn't want to... Some of my best friends are wizarded. Yeah. And as friends, we're going to get through this.

Yeah, you think so? Yeah, you got this. You know your truth. Deep in here in that heart beaten in your chest that we all got, your truth's in there, man. Deep in there, you can get through that door. Hmm. You think so?

I believe in you. You got this. Maybe you're right. Now, if that dance didn't work, you might have to try a different one. Try something else. Just, it'll come to you. Let yourself relax, feel it.

It's in you. Hey, you're right, Marie. I'm sorry if I was a little harsh on you. I just feel like as wizards, I, you know, we get a bad rap. We might not be the strongest or the most charming or, hell. Yes, we're weanies. I'll be the first to admit that as a wizard. We are weanies.

But we deserve love and attention like anyone else. And you got it where it counts. Oh. Now go get them. You're charming Dorks I don't get it I feel like this is the key somehow

You know It is It seems about right That there is some sort of connection Between you and this But We could try to hit it at the same time What? No

No, that's just more of the same Lightning damage My only knowledge is to hit and to destroy and to crush. That's what I'm here to do. All right. Look, if we're not, if it's not working, maybe, and believe me, I don't want to be the person to suggest this, but maybe we're not being our true selves. Look, Hamery, I saw you with that powerful wander, and I think maybe you're the wizard. Take the staff. Oh. You know what? You're on to it. Everybody, one name in class to the left.

Okay. No, this vax is so cool, though. My axe now. I'll take that druid staff. Oh, well, here. Maybe you're the druid. I do feel druidy. I mean, I have a familiar animal friend.

Yeah. I didn't think that far ahead. That would make a lot of sense. And I mean, I am somewhat smarter than you, I think. All right, Scales, hand the big mason, the book over to the blue one over here, and take this red. Red. The book is attached to me. No, that's true.

And actually, the armor matches the mace for Humany, aka Jack. I think I'm the only one who's right right now. He might be the only one who's right. Well, but you haven't been brave enough to touch the door yet, so we're really not, you know. Shut up. Hey. Hey, shut your mouth. All right, everyone just take it down.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, you don't talk to my friends like that. Are we friends? I think so. Maybe. I mean, I feel some sort of. Well, look, we're all friends. Like, he's a friend, too.

Look, we're all tattooed on this guy's arm. We're all here together. We all have these same rings. We have... You seem really stressed, scales. We have the same rings? Yeah, I noticed early on that, look, I got a ring, and he's got a ring, and he's got a ring. Huh.

Oh, wait a minute. Hold on. Well, hold on. Why don't you have a ring? Yeah. Hang on a second. There's only four of us, and you don't have one. Yeah, maybe I was sick that day.

What? Perform your calling. When do you read something out of your book that's attached to you? Yeah, what is the book? say. All right. Death is but part of life. Fear it not, evade it not, view it not as evil. To fear death delivers you into the hands of those who can bring death down upon you. Die with dignity, neither raging nor seeking to embrace undeth. Do honor the dead, for their strivings in life brought

Feroon to where it is now and to forget them is to forget also where we are now and why hell yeah brother preach I know he belongs in the nerds yeah very death focused well now hold on for a second

death is nothing to be feared man so maybe we need to kill ourselves that's what I was saying no I don't have to kill ourselves we just have to you can't he's right though you can't fear death Well, I'm not a fruit of death. I'm sorry, Humie.

He doesn't have a ring. If the scales are on this door, and you're wearing them, ain't this your house? Like, is this you belong here, you know? I mean, isn't it the most likely that this guy is, you know, the one who maybe brought us here? I think the nerd has a point. You're probably right, but you might be worrying too much.

There's a difference to be not worrying at all and just walking into the mob. some gigantic creature's belly. Maybe with this staff, I'll try and bring back your memory. Maybe all four of you are trying to gain entrance to a place I am set to protect. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, cool it. Careful there, buddy. Yeah.

Understandable that you would think that, actually. Well, I mean, if that's the case, then that could be very well the truth. The other alternative is that we are all here on a common purpose In which case, I suppose that would be our calling Right Okay, yeah, if we're all here for the same purpose Yeah Hold hands and touch the door, exactly

Oh yeah, I don't want to touch the door It's because you're afraid of death? No, because I already lost my ears and I don't have a tail I'm sorry, I'm sure You seem sensitive about that, that's... It was lost in a very valiant way. Probably. I'm definitely heroic. I think this is all part of the whole, uh, the whole plan here, the whole riddle to enter this, uh, wherever we're going. You know, it seems that we've all

woken up, not knowing anything, and now we're posed to try and speak our truths. That's right. Without knowing what or who we are. Yeah, man. I like the idea that Mari has over here. that we could we can kind of shift our stuff around and see if maybe that helps sure fine but i refuse to let go of my items if you make one wrong move i will split you oh easy now well now let's let's try and keep it calm i'm just trying on personas to try to figure out what's happening just like all of you yeah but look we all agree that you hume me no offense whether you're with us or not Clearly belong here. You know, your sigils on your chest, your sigils on the door.

We have to at least extrapolate data. Well, unless we're on a pilgrimage, right? Maybe Scales here needed us to hold his hand to get here. Because he came from far away. Oh, could you imagine hiring mercenaries to help you? How pathetic? If I belong here, then why are you all here? Hmm. I don't know.

God? Step aside. Step aside. I am a great and powerful wizard. Open up to me This is my truth I am a wizard I can perform great feats of wizardry

Watch Come on All right Listen I don't know much of anything And I think that's my truth Door I come to you Mentally naked is the day I was born But I mean no ill

Will here. We just want to move forward to the next part on our journey, just like that book was talking about. So why don't you let us on in? We're all friends. I think this door hates this guy. Yeah. Doing some chip damage on you there, buddy. Maybe this is purgatory,

and it's that guy's hell. And we're just here to watch you get hurt over and over again. Are you having fun at least? I would feel bad if you weren't having fun. It's entertaining I'm alive I don't know about you guys

It's certainly an experience I'd have more fun if I could lift this axe It's pretty heavy You know this doesn't make any sense I can feel the power running through this thing But I don't feel like I can control it per se Here change seats Oh

Oh you seem to know you're doing Non-Druid Whatever you are Maybe I learned this in wizardry school Can someone please take this axe for me I can't catch Yeah, you know what, fuck it. It's not mine. I'm sure of it. It's definitely not a warrior, I'll tell you that.

Hey! Yeah, you're probably right. Hey, maybe you're a lot of other things. I suggested bard, but... Maybe I am the bard. I can't believe the sight of you. I don't think you're a bard. Hey, but did you just make that up? Because I don't remember a single song. No, I just made that up. I don't know. Way to improv.

Thank you. Hey, maybe I'm the improviser. That's a bard thing, isn't it? I don't know. I want something to try, though. Gimmie, gimme. Who's want to give up a weapon? Oh, hold on. What's this? To Doreen Iron Fist. There's nothing written on this paper. It's all scribbly scrook.

What are you talking about? I can read it. He's making it up, everyone. Dear mother, when we left Scarborough, we decided that here now, it may be a good time since we were already in this part of the world to seek out and look into a situation which had affected an old friend. friend. Oh. By the way, I can't really go into much detail in these letters, uh, just in case they fall into the wrong hands. So we began to head south and we made our way to the,

out of the Grey Peak Mountains. Well, it seems like we're in mountains. And as we stumbled into the first inn we saw, we met some nice individuals and stayed the night in comfort. We're now on the road. Well, that's where it ends. I don't know. We're on the road. Wait, you can read that? That's not even in language. Yeah. Well, yeah. Looks like it might even be a mix of common and dwarven ruins.

Stick words. Okay, we know we're supposed to be here altogether. And if this date is recent, then we know that we're on the road and we're looking into a situation which could have affected an old friend. And we know that you have a mother. Hey, that's nice. Maybe this is the situation that we're talking about. Does anyone else have any letters?

Uh, I got a cookbook here. It says, too red from Mugdul. Hey, that's mine. Oh, okay. Well, maybe you're red. Well, why would I be red? I'm clearly orangey. I would describe you more as like a rusty color, which could be taken as red.

Weird. That would make sense. Maybe I'll hold on to it for now. It wasn't my bag. Look, pick up your axe. Let's see if we can recall some fighting styles. Oh, geez. Whoa.

Let's go. Yeah. No, we've done this lots spied like this. This makes a lot more sense. I'm the... As the bod, I don't know if I condone this. Oh, I'm a... All right, well, there's a clear space over here.

Okay, take a step back. You know what? Nimbled rogue warrior. I don't like this. If you're the cleric, get ready. Maybe he's the warrior. God, he's so cool. Ah!

Yeah! What the hell? Oh my God! What? What? I... I... Oh, no!

Huh? Wait a... Well, that happened. What the... Wait a second. Um... You guys saw that too, right? Um...

Yes. Because I just saw my arm get chopped out, but then I'm here, then I'm fine. Maybe I am a really powerful wizard. Maybe we do need to kill ourselves. No, wait, wait, wait. I don't fear death anymore. No, you should... That's incredible.

Touch the door. again. That's interesting. Did I just cast a spell on you? One of you did. I don't. You know what? Give me that stick over there.

How about where? Point to it. I don't see me. What the hell is going on here? So you're the druid? He's the druid. Well, that was definitely magical. You're a grave digger.

I mean, if we're talking about death associations. Yeah. Hey, dwarf, use that bow. Shoot at that wall. I'm not very good with these things, I guess Oh I don't think I'm good at shooting this It's the only one I haven't tried

Yeah, I'm the archer All right, hell yeah Well, we're getting down there So we've got Druid, Archer I think that's mine too I actually have a rapier holster right here I don't want to break your ego because you were pretty good with it,

which probably means that axe is yours. I would think so. Yeah, I noticed you had an axe holder on your back as well. Oh, hey, the good news is we're not the bright ones. Oh, this is where we belong. I guess so. I guess so. I'm going to go touch that door.

I thought I was a warrior, and it felt good. Felt good. That bloodlust, man, it was fun, but I guess... Well, what's a druid, if not a nature warrior? Ooh, I like that. Hey, maybe you two are a couple. Eh, that doesn't feel right. Do you want to try switching these?

Whoa. Whoa. Blue really is a theme over here. Oh. I think maybe you were right about the nature warrior thing. Okay. Druid, wizard, ranger, warrior. Are you here to test us?

I don't think so. Are you here to make us face death? I know as much as you know, which is nothing. I thought maybe now that we got it all together, you'd have some sort of an aha moment that you'd give us, but okay. I don't know. Is holding the right weapon performing your calling? I guess not. I don't know.

I don't think so. The calling, the calling. What did your book say about the calling? There's a lot in here about like curing diseases defending people from monsters Destruction of unddeath Destruction of und death What the hell does that mean?

I guess destroying the undead Okay, okay Okay, so if that symbol on your chest is the religion And that door is asking for your calling And your religion kills the undead How do we find out if any of us are undead? I got a pulse

Yeah, I think just a... We're all living I'm... Everyone come here, stand in a circle and let me see your pulses. All right. Pretty sure I'm warm. Yeah, yeah, I feel yours.

Dwarf, you're pumping away. Wizard, I can feel yours, and here's mine. You can feel mine. Humee, you... Well, what? What's wrong? Well, um, um, Humee doesn't seem to, um,

have a pulse. That's... Huh? You are the undead. What's that supposed to mean? Well, based on the word, I presume you're not living. Hmm. How could you do this to us, Kralov?

What do you mean? Do what to you? Look, you... I mean, come on. This guy's undead, and he's got the symbol, and... You know? Walk towards the door. See what happens. Touch the... I don't think it's as simple as him touching the door.

Well, what is his purpose? He is down here in this space with us. We have all lost her memory. He is... No, it's... It's not his purpose. Hmm. You're calling.

I'll push him. I'll do it. I'm saying, if that door is this guy's book, and the book says that we need to destroy the undead, and he's undead. That just seems rude. Of course it seems rude.

That's why I'm whispering. Look, look, I'll just come out and say it. If you're undead, and... and your book says that the calling is to purge the undead, well, maybe you're supposed to die. Maybe we came here to put you to rest. Or maybe you get to choose to follow the faith,

even when you don't necessarily know that you believe it. Maybe you get to choose to pass on from this world, recognizing that you passed in the past. wait a minute a situation which had affected an old friend maybe you're the old friend and this is the situation that's affected you I really think you should

leave through that book a little bit further and see if maybe there's a place which you have to get back to and maybe this is the place that you have to get back to and our calling is to get you back to this place I mean we're here aren't we so our

Calling is to put this man to rest in peace. Did you guys see that? Well, you're getting closer. Yeah, I saw it. This is nothing personal, Humey. Whoa, wait, wait, wait, hold on, hold on. Don't aim your bow at me. Do it.

The arrow flies through the darkness and hits true to a its target. Pursing the man's forehead, he keels back and then before he hits the floor vanishes. And with that, a shower of memories comes back to each of you, almost impossible to comprehend that you could have even forgotten the mountain of knowledge about yourself, about the world, and reeling, you remember everything. Ah. Oh. See?

It's like vomiting in reverse. Red, that was so totally uncalled for. And, I mean, what the? Wait, wait a minute. Whoa. And as you recall yourselves, the distorted barrier dissolves, falls away,

and the stone doors behind them are revealed. Oh. I am not cut out to be a night of the eternal order. I'll tell you that much. Amanda Nicole Annalina Otholigoff

Axel Bob Casey Charles Clockwork Phoenix Christopher Colin Burckhart Crow

Dippity Danny David Shaw Eldridge Unicorn Aaron Lightning Fisher Fjord Tau

Gareth Bradshaw Haley GIPTC Hiss the Movie Hap of the Mocks J.D. Yagereska. Ginette.

Joshua Nance. Jury. Jasper. Cass. Keith. Kelly Fowles. K.M. Kirk Everin.

Levi. Lickrott. Leader J. Liz. Lorelei Feldman, Manderpants. Merrick's Moon. Misra.

Merlin. Mossy Stars. Melinda Kelly. Moon. Mickey. Nicole Giannetti Oakland Pandora

Pinch of Peppers Queen Red Regan Wren Scotty Shannon Waldner Seer of Time

Stab Sunny Sray 96 Tegan T-Kettle Tony Pepperoni Trin Vole Control

Waffle 427 Zanda Morning Dove Yami Zuckhaus and Zepferis Zephyrus. Thank you so much. Woo.

Point, he's better. All right then. I still stay by my suggestion to call him Rob. What? Can he rob you? Because he's a rogue. And this dwarf? Oh, yeah.

Maybe just do like a karate kick in the open space. Yeah. Does not. Nothing happens. Red walks over and helps her up. I just drop. I think these are your glasses. They fall out of your pocket.

My glasses. You drop the bottle of pills of the Kleenex, I think. Your inhalers are there. I stepped up my glasses. Now I got taped the middle of them. Someone call my mom. Hold on. You're doing a sleight of hand, right?

Or something. who you're talking to you got to be doing something Rob? No, I'm being charismatic. I was just being a nice guy who's not worried about stuff Oh, I thought you were going to try to Like sort of character I just unconcerned Is this is normal I think so

Of course you're being red Punch the door five times I should have booped your nose though Mari your staff needs a name This is confusing You're Mari Well Alex

Red. Red is a name. Red is... Who's on first? First, third base. It needs a name? Just to refer to it. Jack searches his pockets, finds this handkerchief in his front pocket

that is the portable hole, blows his no with it, nose with it, folds it back up, and tucks it back in. I don't have anything. That's so good. Oh, God, I'm so afraid. Meanwhile, your books are just splatter.

than mucus. I'm so worried about the portable hole now. Later, Jack, is going to be really mad at this version of Jack is all I can tell you. No problem. Red reaches down to like a mundane stick that we haven't noticed and throws it at you. I'm picturing, I'm just picturing that scene in fucking Fifth Element where Bruce Wilson is like, give me the gun. And the guy grabs the pool balls and rolls. Yeah.

But the thing is, my minor illusion doesn't require any material components that I would need a stick for anyways. Oh, cool. And so that you could wave that stick And it would work, right? Yeah. Cool. Hey, the good news is we're not the bright ones and red puts a hand on door and shoulder in again.

This is where we belong. Oh, I guess so. I'm going to go touch that door. What I'm imagining is Marys like to ride off proudly. What I like to imagine is Marie is looking at the staff she's holding it in the background and he're like, ouch, is like red. Okay, it did not work. But I'm going to do it again.

I'm going to lick it this time. Yeah, Mari. Hey, maybe you two are a couple. Yeah. Maybe we're all a couple. I want Jack to be like, no. Marie, like, just raises an eyebrow. No.

I don't know much, but I know that much. That would be a funny beat to hit. Yeah. What? people. That's not that. I mean, if I was trying to, never mind. If I was really trying, I'd pick you up, no problem.

He starts pointing, he's like, this guy with the scale armor, I mean, to be honest, this makes it really awkward. I'm not going to rank you out loud. But I am in turn. I'm number one.