Dice Shame - 2-104 | 'Behind Bars'

Episode Date: August 22, 2024

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We got a blood altar in here. I'm a little freaked out by it. We just got blood-soaked room. Guys, there's so much blood to play in. Let's keep exploring, then. In her personal space. Pretty nasty cold stuff, if you ask me. You're gonna loot the blood?

Right, right, right, right. I don't think this is Clarion's War. Doesn't make any sense. Okay, I saw you counting. You guys do this type of thing? I don't know what to make of it. First of all, you're gonna wanna watch your step. Can you just hanging out here? What is this?

Roll for it. 22. 22. Dorn, why'd you say 22? 22. Oh, I'm just thinking. It must have been the year. Welcome back to Dyshame.

This is Season 2, Episode 104, Behind Bars. MVP this week is Christina. Christina was nominated by their friend Lambda, who wanted to say, Christina is an incredible friend, encourages her friends to never give up, even when we doubt ourselves, and brightens the lives of the people around her with her humor and sincerity. What a touching nomination. Christina, you sound freaking cool.

Congratulations, you're this week's MVP. All right, should we play some D&D? Yeah, let's do it. Woohoo! In the Grey Peak Mountains, Red's rovers continues to explore the layer of the dragon Clarion in search of the repository of souls and who knows what else. Only a few doors remain unopened. Doran and I will take this one to the north.

I think so and Doran kind of waltzes up to the next door and inspects it. You do not detect any traps. And Red throws the door open. This is a room of some carnage. There is an altar in the center of the room that is covered in blood. And blood has rained down from the altar to spatter and paint the floor tiles underneath. Wow. One of those true sacrifice rooms.

We got a blood altar in here. What about you guys? It turns to the others. We're taking it slow And she very quickly tries to open the door And then just pushes it With her trying to pull her hand back as fast as possible Yeah, you slam the door open it into this

Dark square empty room We found the boring room Oh, wait a minute This dark room Has a large sarcophagus That dominates the center of it There is a car carving on the wall that reads, here lies Solgarth, Argus, high priest of Kalimbor.

The tomb has been terribly defiled. The heavy lid of the stone sarcophagus is at an angle and the bones of its occupant are strewn all over the floor. It's rude. It is rude to disturb the dead like this. Yeah. And Mari takes a step in and sort of looks around. Is there anything other than just a bunch of bones. Apart from this sacrilege, there's nothing else to be seen from your perspective. Much like Jack did in the other room, he's going to start cleaning off the sarcophagus

and rearranging this body back into its place. I'm going to take a minute here. Yeah, Murray helps. Hey, at least we didn't get a coffin door. Yeah. Red and Doran heading to their blood-soaked room. Mm-hmm. We just got blood-soaked room.

room. Blood, blood, blood, I love blood. Don't you love blood? I imagine she can, like, hear this from the other room. It's like, guys, there's so much blood to play in. We got Doren, who, like, loves to have it in his beard at all hours and red who's killed enough people. It's funny that you bring that up because Doren walks around a little bit horrified because

really, in the true spirit of battle, you're bound to face blood and get blood on you. And that's one thing. but when you're talking about sacrifice and it's all just in one place and it's been drained from bodies, it does sicken it. Doran almost gives it like this foul look of sort of pity and remorse

about what these people would have done here. Oh, some pretty, pretty nasty cult stuff if you ask me. Yeah, I hear you. Look at this, blood everywhere. God. Yeah, I wonder what they did. Look.

So there's an altar, you said, in the center? That's right. Yeah, I mean, can we see where there are people bound ceremonial daggers? Like, can we sort of deduce something from... Yeah, looking a little closer at this altar, you can tell that there are indentations on its surface. Perhaps the dagger strikes from some vicious murder. We should see what Jack says about...

Hey, we don't need Jack for everything. I can put our heads together and figure it out. We're pretty bright, the two of us, you know. I do agree with you, but there's some things that you just learn from books and books that we don't have here with us right now. Yeah, but look, we also have our intuition, you and I, you know? Yes, we do. We might not have the brain smarts, but you and I got the tummy smarts out the wazoo.

Of course. Remember last week when you and I, we needed Jack to find out what kind of poisonous plant that was and we found out our own way? Yes, we do. We were up all night, but we did it. Yeah, we did. And eventually, the bleeding stopped, and, you know, we woke up. We lost a day, but we could do this.

Duren takes a step back and sort of watches as Red investigates the room, and he puts his hand on his chin. What are you interested in specifically? I don't know. I'm going to loot the blood? Hey. Scoop. My blood now, suckers.

Canada blood services are always looking for donations. It's universal. Don't it. You can at least collect the plasma. Yeah, whatever. Red will look at the altar and I'll do an investigation. Doran, come on. I'm not just talking about intuition here like the berries.

I'm talking about, you know, a little bit of deductive reasoning here. Maybe there's some enemies that have blood on their boots. Maybe we can track them. Doran circles the altar and kind of scratches his chin as he moves towards the door and watches. Red investigate some of the room as he ponderes and looks about it. out. Mm-hmm. Red, you can roll investigation on this altar.

If Doran was inclined to help you, he might be able to use his stone cunning, as this is a stone altar. You took the words from my mouth. Hey, what's the sale on the altar? And he kind of moves up towards it and maybe puts his hand on it and he leans down. And I'm going to roll a stone cunning on the... Definitely. Roll for it.

22. 22. Dorn, why did you say 22? 22. Oh, I'm just thinking. It must have been the year. You gambling again? 12.22.

Yotsie. There are no inscriptions on the exterior of this stone altar, but it's quite apparent to you that the age of the cuts on the stone of the altar compared to the stone of the room are very different. This altar was installed relatively recently compared to the construction of this entire building. It's very discrepant. What are you gathering, bud? And door doesn't say much. In fact, I'm going to extend this turn, and I'm going to walk out of the room and walk to these statues. I'm going to do a bit of a stone cunning on these statues.

Sure. I guess he didn't find anything. What I'd like to know is if these were cut around the same time as maybe the floors and the walls as well. Cool. Just carrying it over now that you are interested in the age of stonework. He's running back and forth. Red, just like, did you see something? Where are you going? Does my breath smell? I don't...

An unnatural 20. The statues appeared to be pretty ancient. Oh, okay. And Doran walks back. Well, it looks like the altar was put here. quite a bit of time after the floors and the walls were cut Did you have to go out there to fart? You can fart around me, Dorn, I don't mind.

You don't have to go out to the other room to fart. Well, no, I didn't fart. I was going to shout out. What I did, what I was just curious if this altar was cut at the same time as the statue. Sorry. So the altars knew it?

Looks to me like this was put here a lot later than the walls or the floor were cut. I guess in a way, it doesn't make any sense. Like, why would they put it here so much later after was built. Well, they must have moved it here for the dragon. Obviously, the dragon cultists.

Oh, my God. Look good observation. See, we didn't need, Jack. We didn't need... We got our own intuition. That's what I'm saying. You're stone cunning. It's in your belly, Doran.

Doran sort of struts out of the room, sort of wiping the sweat away from his brow, thinking, oh, here I was thinking it was the Calumvore Knight. Oh, my God. Oh, that would be very different. Jack and Mari, by this point, you've managed to put the remains of this priest back into the sarcophagus, I presume? Solgar, Argus, may you rest in peace once again.

I'm really hoping that we got the bones right, and that was not your legs that we put as your arms. No, I'm certain about that. I think there was even the right number of bones. Okay, I saw you counting. None of the important ones were missing. Oh, oh. Well.

It's maybe a finger I didn't find, but it's only one finger bone. There's so many bones in the hand, you know? He might have lost it somewhere else, two. These people were warriors. Right. You know, I thought that this place would feel scarier, but I don't know. It doesn't feel as unsettling as some of the other deep, dark places we've been at this point. Hmm.

Yeah, I mean, there's definitely, I don't know that I, I'm a little freaked out by it, but maybe I had a different relationship with my shadow. Well, it certainly seemed to lead you to think that Red was going to kill you, which gives me pause. Well, that's just my own brain leading me to the worst possible imagining in the way that will do the most damage to cook itself inside my skull. Hmm. I understand the spell and what it did on an intimate level, but man, it's still ringing in the ears.

Yeah. For me, I think it's really just the juxtaposition of all these, like, there's some cultist living there next to those statues, you know, storing stuff in that room. Red was in, but there's the sarcophagus here. It just doesn't... Some part of that feels so wrong in the way. Like, there's mixed purposes here. I don't know.

Yeah, this place feels desecrated. I heard something out there about blood, which seems bad. Doran's stomping about. I wonder what he's up to. Yeah, Doran's out there just running back and forth going, yeah. So you guys have investigated all of these peripheral rooms. There's a big mama room leading ahead.

So you guys found a blood room? Yeah, the altar in it was much newer. Yeah. It seems like the dragon cultists installed it. How fresh is that blood? I think the blood on it was fresh, to be honest. And given that the altar was newer, it stands to reason. These are some bad boys.

Yeah. Imagine if it was ancient blood on a new altar. Oh, my God. Oh. That's cooler. Cool as hell. It is cool as hell. Rob's like,

I'm going to make a note. Use that. I am curious as to how that... Anyway. Am a curious? Amicier? Well, I guess there's only one place to go now. Yep.

Shall we take a look at this door? Make sure it's safe. Yep. Jack takes a look at the door once over for any obvious bits. Again, to see if cultists have tampered with it in any way that doesn't look original to this place. Cool. Roll it. See if there's any tricks or things.

hiding. I got an 18 investigation. Yeah, these doors seem to be, although very old and good repair, and not tampered with as far as you can tell. You sure you got it there, uh, Jack? You don't want a hand? Absolutely. But you can see, look, the doors look original. I mean,

the hinges have been oiled recently, but... Oh. You know, great observation, actually. What are you looking at the hinges for, Jack? Which one of you boys wants to kick it in? Done. Red runs up and kicks it. Caray! A huge circular room about 120 feet wide is ringed by supporting columns and features an exit to the east and an exit to the west. To the east, it appears to be a very wide stone staircase that ascends into who knows what you're not currently in a perspective to be able to see.

And in the center of the room, there is a large cage sitting inside. of it, with her back to you, is a human figure. Ah, a human. There's a lot of blood everywhere else. What the hell is she doing down here? Well, she's in a cage, Doran. I presume some sort of prisoner. That's an assumption, Red.

And don't you know what they call people who assume? Assumers? Wait, no, don't tell me. Assumption is. something like that I guess yeah I guess Red having kicked the door open

and is standing on the inside of the doorway She doesn't turn to acknowledge any of you That speaks to power Maybe That speaks to Something's wrong Yeah Red takes a few steps towards them

Maybe this is a Some sort of treat for Clarion Maybe this is one of the sacrifices That the cultists leave Is she clothed? Yeah, she's got a cloak on with a hood. Oh, thank God. He's a beautiful naked woman here.

Hey, Jack, in that book, the Chasloth's book, didn't they say that dragons can take human form? Yes. What if this is clarion? Oh, well. You hear a small click and another small click just kind of echoing off of the walls

of this vast chamber and you see small movements from the figure in the cage. Red get back up here. It's fine, it's fine. Probably. Red looks down at his feet because he stepped on something.

The only thing you seem to have stepped on are some runes that are carved in the floor between the columns that support the ceiling of this huge chamber. Are they glowing with danger? They are not. Doren tip. toes down next to Red. I think it's fine. Look, if it is Clarion, we'll approach with respect.

She would know we're here. Something knows we're here. And Red walks up slowly towards the figure. Mm-hmm. How close do you get? Licking close. No. In her personal space. Sticks is snoot right in between the bars. You weirdo. Maybe like 15 feet away. Is anyone else entering as well? Mari is going to sort of takes a tentative few steps up and takes a stand near one of the pillars just on the edge. Behind the pillar or beside the pillar? Beside the pillar. So she can still see what's going on.

Jack steps, you know, sort of 15, 20 feet behind red, you know, holding Kieran in his hand, trying to take stock of the big room and the funky carvings. Doran, are you staying back? Doran crawls down to the first step. And almost for the first time seems a little timid now in this massive cavern. Yeah, Doran this room reeks of dragon. Yeah, he smells it.

It's an old familiar fear smell, you know. As the party begins to enter this enormous space, you see that the exit to the east is actually a set of stairs that ascends to a platform and then a... another set of stairs that ascends to an even higher platform as a throne area. Wow. And read, as you approached this figure to within 15 feet of her, you recognize that the small clicking sounds you hear are her throwing little pebbles against the bars of the cage. Oh.

And I think Red sort of nervously just calls out Hello You don't receive any response at all No movement to acknowledge you No verbal assent I guess he continues a little closer Kind of like

You know nervously looking back over his shoulder at Jack And looking back over the other shoulder at Mari who have like supportive positions in this combat arena. Try draconic, Red, see if that works. Right, right, right, right. And Red, in Draconic, says, Hello.

Just red with a little more rest. Yeah, it's actually the same word. It's like how some French and English words are missing. Weird that way. No response. Yeah, and Red gets right up to the bars. and maybe with one sort of shaking hand, he reaches out and just like taps the bar with his claw. Red, as you tap the bars of this cage, the figure's head snaps to look directly at you.

And red waves. Hi. The highest voice you've ever heard Red saying. Hi. Hi. Hello. Hi. Hello.

You are looking at a human girl. She's maybe in her late teens. She has close-cropped hair underneath her raised hood. And she is looking you up and down curiously. Yeah, I read like waves a hand nervously. Are you, are you clarion? She waves back at you. Or a prisoner of clarion.

And then she stands up. Okay. A look of almost joy crosses her face. Red looks over his shoulder and like over his other shoulder, assuming that she's looking at something behind him. And she points at you. Yeah. Hello?

Just me. Red. Kind of a quizzical look crosses her face and she reaches out through the bars at your face. Okay. And Red sort of like at first dodges it the way like a baby reaches you. Yeah. And usually like, ah, okay, hello? She reaches again.

Do you let her touch your face? Does she seem, can I roll inside? Yeah. Does she have the same cloak on? is the, uh, dragon cultist? She is wearing a dragon cultist cloak. 19 insight. She is very interested in you, but not in a malevolent way.

Oh, malevolent. Yeah, red, let's her touch his face. Both of our hands shoot through the bars and grab your ear stumps. Oh. Whoa. Okay. Uh-oh. We don't really do that, but okay. Red like lets it happen.

A little confused. And he's like, is there a reason you're doing this? And then she makes a strange sound. She opens her mouth, like she's speaking or laughing almost. But it's like kind of a choked gurgle. Oh. And she starts running her hands all over your face. Like your whiskers.

And it's almost like someone would be touching like a, like, a dog almost red do you know her no no no no no i and he points at his severed ears and kind of to her and he's like can you hear me and she starts like signing at you can you speak can you say something she shakes her head and she points at your ears oh i no and then she gets this look of understanding and like kind of disappointed look crosses her face and she just like sits back down in the cage and like starts throwing pebbles at the ceiling of the cage again jack i i think i don't think she can hear or speak jack gets closer with kieran who has a limited amount of telepathy to communicate simple ideas

emotions and images trying to convey that like if she knows how to speak we could hear her even if she doesn't make any noise the only response that you receive is just wild aggression at this probing. She just glares daggers at them. Red sort of walks around the cage to get in front of her again and sort of squats down and puts his little face through the bars and his hands through, grips them and looks at them and says, I understand what you're saying.

And he smiles, a big toothy grin. Hey guys, why do you think she's in here? Hmm? Bate? Maybe. Yeah, a sacrifice. She definitely wants to be eaten. But the fact that she can't hear you is interesting.

I don't think she can hear anybody. And yeah, Mari comes a bit closer to sort of take a look at the cage. Mm-hmm. Is it like actively, like visibly locked? The cage door is closed, but does not appear to be locked. She looks at the girl in there. Can you read my lips, Red says. The girl looks up at you and she gives you kind of like a sort of hand wave.

Right, right. She notices you examining the cage door, Mari, and she sort of scoots over on her butt and, like, kicks it open to her foot. And she, like, gestures for you to come into the cage if you feel like it. Huh? Um, guy. How old would this person be? She's maybe like 16.

Mari, first gestures to walk out. Would you like to leave? She whistles. Oh, that's never good. And the resulting illusion makes it look like she's blowing bubbles out of her mouth at you. Red walks into a cage and sits down. Yeah, no magic encompasses you, Red. You're not shackled to the floor or anything.

You're just sitting beside this six. 16-year-old girl who starts making these bubbles appear like bigger and bigger, and they sort of protrude through the bars of the cage into the outer space of the room and start slowly filling up near the ceiling. Wow! Can you guys do this type of thing? Marie tries to catch one, like tries to touch one. Yeah, it pops. We're here for a reason. Our friend is in a jar, probably and Red's like miming like a small jar his soul and he like points to his chest and I don't know why I'm pointing to my chest you can understand me look

do you know where a bunch of jars might be Jack do we know if they're jars I don't know exactly what form they take no I don't think Kralath told us we should have asked Treneros honestly yeah he's gone well we're going to keep exploring did you want to come with us She seems to give it a bit of thought, and then she points at all five of you, Mari, Red, Doran, Kieran, Jack, and, like, sort of makes a circle with her hand. Like, you guys are all together? Yeah, we're together.

We're best friends. My name is Red, Randhan, and Robin. This is my best friend, Mari. My best friend, Jack. And over there is my best friend, Doran. She points at herself, and then she dismisses the bubbles, and then uses and illusory fingertip to write the word

whim in the air. Whim! Oh, I like that. And then she stands up and leaves the cage. Were you just hanging out here? What is this? Sullen teenager. Wim's with us, guys. Red Walks out too. Assuming I can. Yeah. No, you're trapped.

You've booked. She did you trick one of you guys to come in and take her place. Anglerfish succeeded. It's like the milkman. Yeah, they're not. This is Wim, Doran. Doran's made his way from the stairs down. He's kind of hugged the wall a bit.

Now he's looking at the set of stairs, the wide set of stairs that leads up to the throne room, I guess you could say. And he's kind of peering around it cautiously. Yeah. He's got his axe out, and he's kind of got his back against the wall, expecting Clarion to kind of burst into the room at any moment.

Ork splitter just moments. umbles. No, works here. Yes, I know. Red turns to whim and he says, is Clarion here? And she shakes her head. Let's keep exploring then. So with a renewed bit of faith, he goes up the stairs to take a look at the throne room a little closer.

Be careful, Doran. Remember, Dragon Gold. Ugh. As you are part way up, the second set of stairs, your little dwarven foot hit. It's a weird step. Oh, no. The step kind of gives way as you stand on it and make a dexterity saving throw for me, please. Who would have thunk between the cage and the steps? The cage was the safe one.

I know, right? Okay, I'm going to use my inspiration here. Nice. Good call. I've got it, and I might as well use it. Use it or lose it. That's going to be 16. Glad I used that.

Okay. You only take. take 12 points of piercing damage as holes in the sides of the walls to your left and right shoot out this volley of darts at you and they pierce all over your body. Ow! Wow! Doran, what's going on up there? Are you okay?

Oh. You getting pierced by darts? It sounds like darts. Yes, 100%. A bunch of darts. I'd know that sound anywhere. In both sides of me. Oh, I should have been more mindful of that.

By the hammer of Morden. Do you continue to drag yourself up the steps? Yeah, moaning loudly. I love the idea that he keeps hitting more traps. But he keeps going up. Oh, no, come on. Doran, check ahead. But now with the additional checking of traps.

Yeah, roll investigation for me, please. I buy it. That is a 12. Oki-doke. You don't see any more pressure plates. Okay. I love the part about looking for traps is that you tell me I don't see them.

That's right. Based on my role. They could still be there. I just don't know. I also like the potential for if you roll super low to be like, you're very sure that there are no more. Whether that's true or not. Feeling confident.

Yeah, Doren sort of crawls up the rest of the stairs a little picking spines out of them. Doran, as you finish your ascent to the level of the throne, you are accosted by no further darts, at least as far as you are currently. Perfect. There are several pillars here holding up a very tall ceiling. A red carpet makes its way towards a very elaborate throne.

All around the base of the throne, there are carcasses, old and new, skeletal and rotting, as well as sort of studded amongst these corpses are some valuable gems. Doren sees the situation of carnage and leftover bones from Meals bygone and looks back to see Jack sort of beginning to walk this direction. What do you see up there? First of all, you're going to want to watch your step because I got a bunch of pricks in me

based on one of those pressure plates, so just watch your step. Secondly, a lot of bones from a dragon's dinner. This looks like might have been where all the blood from the sacrifice room over there came from. Either that or Clarion really loves to slurp up the bones. blood of its of its meals

yeah that that's disturbing on just so many levels like red was saying probably we don't want to sift through dragon gold in there on our on our pursuit to find Kellamvor right Jack says kind of wishing that he could go sort through this pound of stuff

Doren sort of looks back half-heartedly yeah you look back and red is just like talking to whim trying to like mouth words to see if she can tell the difference between when he says them and when he doesn't. You're doing like the I love you, olive juice elephant shoe thing. I love you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. What? And Doran sees this and looks back at the leftover bones and then he looks back at Jackie says, well we probably shouldn't but there seems to be a lot of glittery stuff in that another pile of bones. And I mean, they are dead.

Maybe on the way out Jack like takes a tentative step Up the first set of stairs Doren moves towards it And sort of with his toe Sifts through some of the bones To see if there's anything a particular Interest

We should probably just What did you see? Well, there's a bunch of gems That's not too interesting Jack Roll just a straight up and down Intelligence check with advantage for me please 22 intelligence check cool from your knowledge sort of glommed together from what you've learned

and also from chasloth's book this feels like an inadequate horde in your estimation what looking at it dorn just i don't know with this tips the scale one way or the other yeah i don't think this is Clarion's hoard. Just all the stories of Clarion suggest the vast quantities of treasure that don't seem to be captured here. Yeah, and Doris sort of looks around scratching his head. Yeah, you have a point there. It does feel like some knockoff dragon cultists who wanted to feel high and mighty made have set up a little chair with some bones and stuff, although I guess the corpses that are kind of eaten. Yeah. I don't know what to make of it. Maybe this is just where the dragon devours its meal,

not necessarily it's, uh, and he continues to rifle through with his toes, with pointed foot. He's got like a breakfast nook. I'm just kind of hoping that, that one true shield will just pop out at me any, any moment. And it'll be glittering underneath the bones there,

just screaming, take me, take me, take me from this place and use me in battle, but. That'd be concerning. on a talking shield and ork splitter? God, they would fight so much. They don't shut up. He trails off as he turns around.

No magic shield speaks to you, Doren. Well, I guess the best part about this trip was just getting a few pricks. Anyways, and I take the exact same way back down. Wait, you mean stepping on the dart? Stepping over the known crowd. I was going to say. I was hoping you know the balls to step on it again.

Just for the sake of it. Do it, you coward. Just for the sake of it. I dare you. All right, shall we leave? Well, take a look around and keep going. That way. And Doran begins to approach as he's kind of stepping on the ruins.

It is obviously some sort of throne room. And I think we should probably look at going out that direction. But be mindful of traps because I got a bunch of darts in my side. Doran, you want me to take those out of you? Like, you don't have to wear them. Sure. Jack, as you get to within 30 feet of whim, you recognize that she's definitely got magic items on her.

Uh-huh. Or a what? It's a lot less blingy than you and your companions, but there's stuff. Just the school of magic is not illusion? It's not just the one. So there's like interference, perhaps? Yeah, yeah.

You aren't able to discern a specific school of magic. Fair. I'm able to figure out which. items are like is it like nice boots whatever it is that she's packing it's hidden inside of her cloak oh hey whim what cool magic items you got hidden on you do you want to show it off you got a look at it when you speak to her jack she can't hear you she reads your lips i don't dare ask kieran to pass the message along that got a pretty bad reaction well if she can't hear me because she's in front of me and not looking my way i'll at least say there's some kind of funky magical aura radiating off

this lady and cloaked upon her person somewhere. Can't get a good read on exactly what it is. Cool. Red spins around and looks at her in the face, says, do you have magic items? She looks at you and she just smiles. And Red like pulls out his quiver and he's like, this is a magic quiver I got once. And this is a bow which is magic.

She's all about it. She comes over. She's like pulling arrows out of your quiver and like dropping them on the floor. Yeah. And Red like drops it on the floor as well. And he's like, and here this is my bow. It can't be broken. He tries to break it over his knee.

He's like, magic items don't degrade. She picks it. Can she take it? She tries to take the bow from it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She throws it against the wall. Isn't that cool? Red pulls out his blade, and he throws it as well.

He's like, oh, shit, wait, that one's not magic. And the ghost tiger, like, clatters to the floor. But it's okay. She pulls this item out from her cloak, and Jack, this is indeed the item that you had been detecting because you... Huh. This thing that was going off like crazy. Jack's like, see? I told you.

It is a long. iron bar and she presses a button on one end and she just leaves it there in the air and it's floating oh you son of a bitch and she hangs off of it like it's monkey bars she's like tries her best to like do a muscle up on it and she can't because she's like 16 years old you're a monster on the fucking stuff in such stream i don't know what you're talking about she asked me what my one like desire magic item is and i said the immovable ride i wrote the this character, like, two months ago, though. And I said, I was like, but I don't want to, because before I said, I don't want to say it,

because Joe's not going to give it to me. And just taunt me, you take it out in front of me and give it to another character. I promise you. I promised you, I wrote this character like two months ago. You're going to kill her for the, I'm going to move over rod. Anyway, I'm going to go down the entire alignment for this. I'll do it. She takes off her shoulder bag and she, like, hangs it on the rod, and she shows you.

What is this magical thing? Neat. Red is so fucking enamored by it. Marie's just hanging off of it. She's just, like, chilling. Yeah, my turn, my turn. Red hangs off it too. Yeah.

And then she goes over to the wall where your bow is red, and she grabs it, and she dust it off, and she passed it back to you. Thank you. She starts picking up your arrows, and she sort of, like, gestures kind of like, so where are we going? And at that moment, Doran sort of now joins the party, and he kind of walks up, chuckling under his breath, smiling, and he says, always she found another friend and he gives a nod and then points and says let's keep going this way

and points up the stairs sort of like that that fatherly figure type person that comes and says all right kids yes dad not fooling around let's keep moving and with that the time has finally come to see what ending can possibly lie behind this singular final door Thank you to our wonderful patrons, Ace, Abril, Adam Fry, Alicia Andrus, Allison Wrights, Alicia Dar, Amanda Nicole, Annalina, Atholigoff, Axel, Bob, Casey, Charles, Clockwork Phoenix, Christopher, Colin Burkhart, Crow, Dippity, Danny, David Shaw, Eldridge Unicorn, Aaron Lightning, Fisher, Fjord, Tau, Gareth Bradshaw, Haley, GIPTC, Hiss the Movie, Hap of the Mox, J.D, Yagereska, Ginette, Joshua Nance, Jury, Jasper, Cass, Keith, Kelly, Fowles

K. M. Kirk Averin. Levi. Lickrott. Leader J. Liz. Lorelei Feldman, Manderpants. Merrick's Moon. Misra.

Merlin. Mawsey Stars. Melinda Curley. Moon. Mickey. Nicole Gianetti. Oakland. Pandora.

Pinch of Peppers. Queen. Red. Regan. Ren. Scotty. Shannon Waldner, Seer of Time, Stab, Sunny, S-ray 96, Tegan, T-Kettle, Tony Pepperoni, Trin, Vol Control, Waffle 427, Xander Morning Dove, Yami, Zach House, and Zephyrus. Thank you so much. Dun-dun-dur-d-d-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-dun-dun, done, done.

An abjuration aura from this chest over here. What is a magical spell in Dungeons and Dragons? Ford is yours, Alex. Harlan slash Redd, this means the world to me. This is amazing. Red, what magic item do you want most of all? Oh, I'll tell you right now. But the problem is, if I say it, I'm worried that I won't get it. No, no, no, no, no. We won't tell Joe.

Joe's not listening. Should I be honest? I'd be real honest. Yeah, yeah. All right, listen. When I was in Chas Lothiaghorn's little house, remember with the silver dragon, the smelly one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, I was leaving through some books while I was waiting for Jack to talk or whatever the heck. Anyway, I saw a magic item, and I read the description, and it sounded probably the coolest I've ever seen.

It was called an immovable rod. That's a good item. Got a button on it. And if you press it doesn't move, don't say anything to anybody. But it's the magic item I probably want the most. Yeah. I could do so many fun things with it. Yeah.

Oh, my gosh. You could stop a dragon in its crats. You could stop so many things. Think of all the things I could hang off of. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. And I could put my clothes on it. I could hang my bag on it at night.

Oh, the ideas get me too excited. Amazing. But don't tell her. Okay, I won't. I won't.