Dice Shame - 2-112 | 'Easy Ride'

Episode Date: October 17, 2024

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I'm just keeping an eye. It's a lot. I mean, we could just cut the corner. They've seen loss. Absolutely right. Only God knows. How often do you think of your ex-wife? I don't know if it's possible.

Are you guys getting your spells in order? Wait a second. Where's the camp? This is a danger come find me machine. Looks like you're gonna get your boots wet. It is useful and it has helped us before. We're gonna do it, it's great. Those traps, man?

Hey, Mari, rank the party in terms of best rider, top to bottom. What do you think? Who's S rank? Give us a tier list. Who's S tier list? What's a TRIP? It's a tier list. Welcome back to Dice Shame.

This is Season 2, episode 112, easy ride. MVP this week is Zag! Who's been listening along in the Discord? They're at episode 69, and they are excited to keep going. We're so excited for you to get caught up and listen to your name being read out, Zag. Thanks for joining us, Zag. This week's MVP. All right.

Shall we do this? Yeah, let's do it. Woo! Woo! Woo! on horseback in a drizzle of rain. The days pass, and you make your way north. Through the mists on the plains to the west,

you can see the tangled wilds of the cryptgarden forest. A haze of new growth hovers on the horizon, green smoke foretelling the changing of the season. The plants by the roadside mirror the distant woods. Perhaps the druid Wolfram was correct. Spring. is coming early. Red's horse

kind of bucks a little bit. What's the matter, Rob? Is everything okay? He strokes its hair, which has been like permanently slicked down with water. Thanks again for switching horses

with me, Doren. No problem. Rob seems to be a little agitated, everyone. Maybe. I am not casting speak with animals. I've done this several times now and every single time

it's gone very poorly. Yeah. But every time we learn a little more, remember in Red Larch when I got to speak with Rob through you for like an hour and I read him his favorite book. Right, Rob? What was it? I borrowed it from

Doran's. It was the deepest dark of the darkest dungeon or whatever that one's called. Oh yeah, yeah, it's a good one. He was spooked, I think. He fell asleep instantly, but I kept going. I mean, Mari and I kept going. Horses aren't supposed to fall over like that. I mean, honestly, I was kind of intrigued and the voices, the voices you used

very interesting. Yeah, I think he liked them too. I think it was just too loud. That's why he stuck his head in the hay before passing out. Yeah, it's comfy down there. Maybe he's just stepped on something funny. It's all right. Dorn's sort of running up ahead, ignoring those behind him who are yamering on. Sort of wondering if maybe all this noise is drawing attention.

Mari's following sort of like behind red, just keeping an eye on her horse. Every once in a while, I think, because she has cast speak with animals a few times, keeps like kind of looking back at her like a little like, are you going to do it again? Are you going to read my thoughts? This is weird. Jack is practicing reading a book standing on the back of his chariot with the book floating in front of him. just really tuned out to the whole travel experience this time.

Show off. No hands. Red rides up next the door. And he's like, what's wrong, Dawn? You see him a little tense up here. No, no, I'm not tense necessarily, Red. And he sort of is talking to you as he's looking around at the gnarly woods off to the west. Oh, no, Red, you know, it's just sort of funny.

We've been riding all this way. And last time we came up this way, I'm fairly certain we saw some, some giants. or some problems happening. I'm just keeping an eye out. You never know when the next ambush is going to happen. Hey, you know what? That's a good point. And realistically, we probably have a pretty big target on our back.

Red looks over his shoulder at the wizard who's riding in a fucking chariot. Well, it's a little ostentatious. That's one thing to be a target of banditry, but how do you think we're going to do on this next giant raid of ours? A little bit. Oh, look, look, between you and I, the shakiness back there is kind of why I was verbose last time. You know, Marie is still getting her feet sort of settled, and she's definitely come a long way, but, you know, it's easy to get crushed by the weight of what's coming, and I'm trying to stay positive to keep it realistic, but between you and I, and I do feel like I can be honest with you, it's going to be tough, but don't say that to them.

Oh, no, no, no. It's so easy for them to get drowned out by the negativity of what's coming. No, no, no, of course, of course, Red. Hey, this is, I'm just talking to you right now. What I'd call the comic relief, really. You know, we just keep it light is what we do. Far and stuff. Well, I mean, and looking over his shoulder, Doran sort of looks back at Jack.

He says, you know, with Jack and Torrin back there, I mean, I don't know. He's with what happened. I wonder if he's still got his head in the game. You know, I'm sure part of him wanted to stay back in water deep. and see. Sionardo, all this, no? Well, I mean, he looks completely different. Look at his haircut. It's like short on the sides and swooped back on the top

and his gray is showing a little bit. It's a little different. And his outfit, doesn't it look sort of like, there's this old Mazdican plague called The Matrix? Anyway, yeah, you're totally right. But he's struggling for sure. He got pissed off at me a few days ago, and I think maybe he's just trying to settle him to,

what the world looks like without love and it must be a scary a scary place for those who had it and lost it yeah yeah well hey well you're one of those yeah I know that's how often do you think of your

X Y's why I'd rather not talk about it red listen how long do you think we have until we hit what's the next town he pulls out his journal well I think up the way is West something rather Westbridge and now now Doran sort of sits up and and says it loud enough for the rest in here.

We've gone through Yarder yet. We're ways... I don't think we're going through Yarder this time, Doris. No, we're not going through Yardt. I think we're going to head up to West Bridge, cross the Stone Bridge, and head to the hump rat household. The hump what now? So, we haven't gone through Yarder, okay.

Belli Yard. And you see him do like a big scratch mark. All right. Oh, yeah, Stonebridge down here. I don't think we've been to West Bridge before. I think every time we come up this way, we head over Stonebridge I think we cut the corner

it'll be nice to check out Westbridge Right, that was the path that I pointed out when we passed a little wild back I mean we could just cut the corner But I feel like every time we come this way We cut the corner Might as well stop by We're doing a patrol

We have to go to At least to check in Absolutely Yeah It's the purpose of the drive Even if it's a long way around Exactly And then Red turns back to Dorin

And just says Anyway You and I will keep checking in with each other. Yeah. Keep the energy up. It's all good. Appreciate you asking.

And he gives you a good wink and a nod. Absolutely, Red. Yeah. And Red sort of slows down and rides back to where he was riding. Mm-hmm. Mari kind of like slows down. She sees those guys up ahead and then she kind of catches up to Jack. What do you think they're talking about up there?

Oh, they look very serious, which is interesting. It's never good. You know, they're always so, you know, trying to lighten the mood and everything. But I think deep down in their souls, they've really got something going on. Yeah, yeah. Sorrow in those eyes, both of them. They've seen loss.

I don't know. The questions that kind of linger back there whenever you look at them, the unasked questions. But you just hear Red go, Matrix, I was it? No, he's just talking about your coat. The road here is really treacherous

because the snow's been packed by foot traffic and wagons. It's condensed to ice in places, but because it's, starting to thaw. There's like slippery mud elsewhere. And Wim's horse has been having a lot of trouble the past day or so. She sort of stumbles up alongside both of you, Jack and Mari. And Wim shoots you guys a side long glance, just kind of like, ugh. Hanging in there? She just nods at you and then sort of gives you like a little bit of a reproachful look. We could take turns. Do you want to

switch for a bit? I mean, she would absolutely ride in a chariot. Are you kidding? Whim nods enthusiastically and in an instant is down off of her horse and up beside you in the cherry. Any changes you'd like to make? I can make it look like anything. What's your dream stallion? Whoa. Marie's like kind of like, please, yes, the flames are, she's like nodding in the background. Like, it's a lot. Flames are cringe. Get rid of them. Wim's eyes go wide. And then she starts making the wildest gestures. Almost as if, like, a serpent of some kind, maybe a gigantic snake. Yeah, the creature in front grows, like the horse, the beautiful horse pulling this,

the head grows long and grotesque, the horse mouth opens up into big serpent jaws, a tail sort of snakes underneath the chariot, and so now it's just like a little cart sitting on top of a snake that's slithering along the ice. Yeah. Oh, hell, yeah. She gets off of the chariot and hops up onto the snake itself. and then just starts clapping. I mean, that's pretty cool, Jack.

I can't lie. I'm just edgy enough to think this is cool. Very flashy. Mari just sort of rides over and grabs the bridle for tail or swift, so there's not just a loose horse just kind of wandering around. Well, Jack's got a ride. Or Jack, are you still in the chariot? No, no, no.

I will happily give Wim full control of her brand new serpent steed for an hour. and in an hour we'll need to switch back, but enjoy. Jack's walking. Jack jumps up on Taylor Swift and, you know, gets comfortable in the saddle again. Hey, Rob, you're looking good riding Taylor Swift. Rob looks good riding Taylor Swift. There's a Rob Jack thing. You just did it.

Wait, Rob the man or Rob the horse? Yeah. Who's on second? Correct. Third base. Looking good on Taylor Swift, Jack. And looking good. great on that snake monster whim.

Yeah, this does not look like any kind of biologically plausible creature. Absolutely not. But it slithers up the road at speed towards where Doran and Red are plodding along ahead.

Holy moly! That's amazing. Maybe for my birthday, Jack will let me use his deed too. Just a bigger red. Red. Red riding a bigger. your wrist. Anything is possible

within some very specific constraints. Doren, seeing Jack get up on the real horse and kind of take it for a spin, turns to red and says, wow, you know, it's amazing seeing how an elf will, you know, how will they ride a horse? Hey, Jack, and he hollers over,

isn't it nice to be riding again? Yet stretches some new muscles. I forgot I had back here. I'm already the core workout before we even get under this sly terrain. Yeah, I think I've seen him on a horse least of all of us, really. Not Maori, obviously, but...

Well, I just mean, the last few days, he's been in that chariot and, uh, I don't know. It's just interesting. Hey, Doran, who do you think's the best rider out of all of us? My money would be on Jack. You know, when he was young,

I could see his mom taking him for, like, riding lessons and things like that. Jack immediately falls off the horse. As you're saying that. They're like, just, uh, Taylor Swift struggles. It falls into, like, their foot slips for a minute. Jack takes a real big tumble, almost falls off,

but straightens himself out. Mari's like pushing him back up. And Daron, I mean, you fight mostly on your feet. Oh, yeah, no. Mari did almost all of her walking on her feet, and I am no good on a horse, believe you me. But I'd probably rank Jack as the top. Yep.

Then probably me. Sure. Then Mari and you are probably tied. No, I definitely say, Mari. I'm not meant for being on top of an animal. this hole. It's kind of a little nerve-wracking sometimes. We're on the bottom only because of ignorant. Hey, Mari, rank the party in terms of best rider, top to bottom. What do you think?

Who's S rank? Give us a tier list. Who's S tier list? What's a tier list? We haven't traveled in a long time like this. She's watching as Jack's kind of fumbling and she's just like, you, then me, then Jack, then Doran, who looks like he's trying to get back on the ground where the air is lower. Jack, what say you? Well, I think

Mari has an advantage because she can talk to her horse, and I feel like that kind of teamwork has got to be really helpful. But she hates talking to a horse. The horse's tail swishes angrily. But your instincts with critters are pretty good, Red. I would put you right up there. Uh, you know, I think

Doran and I, you know, maybe depends on the terrain. So, meta speaking, let's talk about how good your character actually are at riding. What's everyone's animal handling skill? Is animal handling the thing that defines how you read a horse?

Big fat zero for me. Oh, okay. Five. Whoa. Hello. Wow. One. One plus seven.

Wow. So it's red then. I was right. Everyone cuts to red and he's like standing on the back of his horse. Who do you think is the best of this? Backflips, backflips, front. I was just about to say that.

Red's like, making his horse, like, trot all proper. Like, you know how they... And Doran's, like, looking around everybody. He's, like, on his haunches, turned around as his horse is riding forward, looking back at everyone. She's like, what do you guys think?

You're riding on the bottom, like, upside out. Yeah, yeah. Oh, what do you think now? Murray's skill comes in with the fact that she knows that this horse is, like, pretty perturbed to be out here, so... But she's able to keep it under control

and keep things going well. What's Wims? Wim's also, uh, zero. So she's about in line with Doren. Okay. Okay, yeah. Well, I guess we'll never know. Only God knows.

Red says and rides ahead with, like, hopping over a tree elegantly and turning 360 in the air and landing again. 360 on a horse. Rob sure is a dashing horse over there, isn't he? You're pretty good, Red. Yeah. I'd actually put you maybe ahead of Jack there. Oh, that's meta-knowledge. No, I think about it.

Probably put Mario ahead of Jack, too. No. Just the way you. carries himself, you know. No, Jack's when I knows dressage, but, like, that only helps. Yeah, a formal dressage, wait a minute. Very specific circumstances. Last time I did this, I was four.

How old are you now? 52? 50. You don't like a day over 51. Oh, boy. It's like when you take ice skating lessons. Yeah, you just never forget it. Doren having now sort of rejigged his map as we're writing in his journal, how far would you say we were from Westbury?

based on his. You are set to hit it sometime tomorrow. Mari's watches Jack make the creature for Wim and everything, and she's sort of studying it, and she catches back up to him on the horse and goes, Jack, can I ask you a magic-based question? Absolutely. I know that you can do this,

and I know that that's technically not real, in a sense. And I know that you have Kieran, but how much do you know about creating a little dragon? What kind of magic is that for, like, for Kieran and stuff like that? I mean, there's lots of ways to create things, but the realist form, like, if you're summoning something from beyond to here, that falls squarely in conjuration. We are bringing matter into real life. It's only illusion that carves out sort of bringing fake material from the shadow fell into real life. That's sort of an exception to the rule.

Right. Do you have a spellbook? Yes. Can I take a look at it? Uh, oh, how closely do you guard its secrets? And how loud is Mari talking? On a horse on the road, without gloves on? Or maybe, maybe later.

Yeah, you know, I had a, I had a question I wanted to ask you about a magical topic tonight, sort of following up on our conversation the other day. I've got a, there's a bridge we'll hit in a couple of days, and we'd fought a giant there a little while. and got this fork that can detect things. And right now, it's tuned to detect adamantium things because that's what fire giants are interested in. But we know the Shadowfell is a problem.

I'm wondering if we can find a way to retune it somehow, to get it to detect, you know, the kinds of things we're most worried about. Huh. I mean, we'll see a giant coming, at least I hope. But I'm... I don't know if we're going to see what's coming next. I don't know if it's possible, but I've been searching through the pages of the couple of books I bought with me

to sort of find some ideas. I think I'd just like to get your eyes on it. You've made more stuff with your hands than I have. I can't say I've forged many things or worked with much metal, but, and she shoots Doran like the back of his head a look. Maybe we talk to some other people. Doran, roll insight to detect to the meaningful glit. It's in the back of it.

I'm kidding. If I roll a one again, I swear to God. But funny enough, funny enough, I also said earlier how loud are you talking, because I am curious if I could hear you. I think about, like, just kind of quietly, like beside each other. You're not secretive, but it feels like you're far enough away, but maybe you could overhear us, I don't know. Doran, you're careening your head in a weird way.

What's wrong? Well, you're trying to listen in on something? No, I just, I just heard, I think I thought I just heard Marias, Jack, if she could borrow his magic, Well, pay attention. I don't want to go through this again. So then, Nia wakes up, but he doesn't have eyes. Close out. Now it's time for Matrix Revolution. There is no safe lodging tonight, and Reds Rovers finds themselves with sun setting, and

the most hospitable place being the side of the road. Well, looks like it's another side of the road camp, which I'm all right with. Whim, you want to help me catch a rabbit again? Whim, shrugs and nods. The best thing about catching a rabbit with you is when I shoot it, she just shoots it with a firebolt and it cooks it. Easy peasy. That explains a lot as to where you're getting all these burnt rabbits from.

Actually, it does. Come on, Wimmy. She mouths the words bingo-bango. And Red does like a windmill high-five with her. You want to ride on my shoulders? And as you're walking off, Doran sort of halls, we're going to move into the woods here just a little bit. I want to be off the road.

Yeah, yeah. I'll find you. Sort of, we sort of shimmy into the woods just a bit. It's a bit awkward. You have to, like, hop over this ditch. Yeah. The melt water from the surrounding areas is starting to accumulate, and it's getting steadily more rapid.

Oh, yeah. So unless you're able to, like, jump your horse. over you kind of have to do an awkward like hop skip or maybe find like a long branch to vault. Is it like deep enough that if you fell and you get dragged down river or no? You might get pulled off your feet

but you definitely get wet. Okay. It's not a very wide river. It's just like a deep ditch that's full of very cold spring melt water. Well, it just it's, this is too much. Too much spring for right now. Is it? I thought you were going to say too much

water. It's too much water lady. Like, there's just too much of it. You know, some things are too wet. Yeah. Dorn sort of like walks his horse into the water. Horses can do that, no problem. He's just got to walk the horse through. Yeah, your horse hates you deeply.

We're sure we don't want to camp on the hard pack road? Well. In the middle of the road. So that any things coming out of the forest have to go through this terrible ditch full of water to get us? Doran sort of stops his horse right in the water and looks back at Jack. And then looks into the forest. Then looks back at Jack. It's a natural defense.

What about things from the road that have to get us? Well, you know, I guess nowhere's really safe and turns the horse back around. All right, let's just do it on the side of the road here. This wasn't ready to get my boots wet. Jack, you're on a horse. Come on. I mean. Boots get wet.

They're Jack's new boots. I mean, they're still shiny. That's a great spell. Jack's new boot? Yeah. Jack's new boots. We're capable, people. If there's danger, there's danger.

Absolutely. And plus, if something jumps into the middle and I'll say, see, I told you. Yeah, yeah, I set myself up. I shouldn't have made a tactical decision like this. Now I'm in trouble. The question is whether I'm going to be rolling on the road encounter table or the bullet encounter table.

Which is worse. You have to make the clear distinction. Or that brief moment where you're in the meltwater encounter table. It's very brief. So you guys are making a fucking campfire in the middle of the road? Guys, this feels very silly. It's the middle of the road. Doreen gets the horse back up and then he makes it.

Murray's with red on this one. He makes a judgment call. No, no, no, no. Sorry, Rob. No, no. Unless you had another comment you want to make, Rob. Say, sorry, rob to your horse and get through the water already. No, I'm on Rico.

We have to make sure I wrote it down. Every horse is robbed. We switched. Oh, no, no, no. Doreen gets up to the road again and realizes, no, no, sorry, Jack. No. looks like you're going to get your boots wet unless you want to jump on the back of my horse hole

across the river I'll tell you RICO he seems to love the cold water but we can't this is just it's too uh it's too open and even without speak to animals Mari you can tell that RICO hates Doran desperately Doran you got four seconds until that horse

sends you flying I'd recommend moving Is it is it challenging enough for a handle animal to cross the river with a pissed off RICO It's getting there I'll follow you You get across the river. You get across.

Perfect. You guys all cross the river, and Red comes back with two rabbits, and he's like, what the fuck have you been doing? I hunted two rabbits. You guys haven't even crossed. Where's the camp? What are you doing? Well, there was a little river there, right?

I left you were five feet over there, and now you're five feet here. Jesus Christ, set up camp. Well, not that little. Oh, my God. I'll tell you, the horse loved it. I do love the, the juxtaposition. of like new jack like jack sitting there like pretending to play with a dagger like he's like kind of edgy now but like also like really hyper worried like i love the idea of him sitting there

like trying to practice this knife and like accidentally like cutting a little bit of his new clothes and like oh no no like really upset it's not a problem it's just that he has to go ask marie to mend it and that's really the yeah it's pretty good it would be double make hair so so much right you can be fastidious or devil may care, but you cannot be both. Every morning we see him waking up and like re-adding gel to his hair. Well, that's the handy thing about

not being a dude who has to actually sleep is that you can meditate. He's got time. Your bed head is like very carefully sculpted because there's no actual rolling around trying to sleep happening here. Fucking elves got it made. Yeah, so Dornan jumps off and chops a couple pieces of wood and builds a quick, quick fire. Finally. Somebody, give me a light over here.

Whim obliges. Oh, wow. That is hot. He says as he wipes his crispy eyebrows. Oh. Ah, well, here, plenty of rabbit to go around. Red pulls up a log and starts, you know, getting it. It's funny how a fire can really change everything,

and he, Doran pulls out his sleeping pad and sits down on it. So much life and fire, you know? Life-giving, life-affirming, warms the soul and the cock. Jack, what a cockles? Are you, you're muted? Oh, no, you're not. Great question. Just moving your lips.

I don't know what a cockle is. Dumb found it. It's a type of, it's like a shell. It's like a... Don't look it up. Don't look it up. Just imagine. I think it's a different cockle, isn't it?

I know a cockle is like a... I mean, I imagine it's a part of your heart that looks like a snail is what I think. Yeah, I imagine that's kind of where I... That's kind of where I... Based on sort of anatomically, it looks like a shell when, you know, it's got ridges on the inside like a shell does. And there's a little, uh,

deep cockles of your heart. I know that, but I don't, I don't, I didn't know if the, um, what the real thing is called. Right.

I have no idea. Right. Like, I think that's a, it just feels right. I would say it's a, it's a strong, educated guess that I would argue,

like insupportive. Yeah. This is one of those arguments you could have for a long time before the internet and now you, you know, there's only so much. This expression uses a corruption of the Latin name for the heart's ventricles.

a cortis. So, no. The heart part is good. But I like it. That's why people say it's, we love you in the, I love you in the cockles of my heart. Ah, yes. Life affirming, Red says, and holds his paws to the fire. Mari's pulled out the magical broom that they found and they had brought back.

It's like jammed in her pack. You took that? What? I love that at Trolskull Manor. No, it's, I look, and she's like, it's sweeping like a little patch clean from like dirt and bits of twigs and stuff. She's like, this is super useful for when we're camping in the woods. You know, we don't have to like worry about sleeping on a bunch of tiny sticks.

Red just like stares at you, like a cow, stares at an oncoming train. He goes, what the fuck kind of drew it to you? A water one. She doesn't like twigs. Yeah. That's good, actually, water one. Get out of here, greenery. Jack's part of setting up.

camp is setting the drift global light so we've got a little nice like overhead lighting and twinkle lights guys we're glamping well no we're high level adventures like smash cuts to one side and you got like a tablecloth and you got cutlery and you got a drift globe and you've got the ground the earth and ground swept and then it just like pans over to doran whim and red sitting on a long chewing rabbit like with the most what the fuck look on the faces staring at the other over here. This was my kind of mundane question that I wanted to pose to each of you, a detail that's seemingly mundane, but maybe speaks volumes about your characters, which is, what kind of

a bed roll do you use? What does it look like? Where did you buy it? That's cool. You know what I mean? Because I think everyone's got their own kind of flavor for this. Reds have always been just a few layers of various animal pelts. They're all sort of rolled up.

tight and, you know, well-cured the leather side, and that's kind of how they're waterproof when they're on his horse or on his back. But when it comes to bed, it's just a series of animal pelts. Sometimes they're on top of them. If it's a hard ground, all three or four of them are beneath him. But it's like just a variance of that. Most of the time you, if you wake up before red, you'll see like one pelt half draped over one leg and one bundle up by his head and him lying on two. And like bear and elk and various animals, some from Mazdica that you've never heard of. As far as Wim is concerned, she's got a really sturdy kind of over large traveling cloak that she just wraps herself in and she sleeps on the bare ass ground and it

does not seem to bother her. Mari has like a, like a, it's quite old. It's a like an old sort of sort of a sleeping bag or sleeping sack kind of thing that's made out of this worn, but like worn to the point of softness kind of fabric that's leather on one side so you can put it straight on the ground. But it's clearly been sewn and repaired in a bunch of spots. And some of those spots are things that she's sewn herself. Some of times she fixes it with mending. And some of them are spots because it's so old that like her mother had fixed or like one of her siblings, like when they had borrowed it had fixed. So there's there's the marks of lots of people on it still. So I think Jack's had had started this voyage with the brand new, like, top of the line adventurers pack that you could buy with like a, he was good.

It's from Lion Shield Costa, but it's like the high end one. It was the high end Lion Shield Costa one. And the first night or two, he tried it. And then like in the middle of one night, Red must hear him wake up and bring out his portable hole and fish around for like the old reliable one he's had on all his archaeological digs with like a, you know, well woven mat and a, you know, a sort of. patchy piece of leather to keep things dry and a couple of worn but cozy old blankets that have been, you know, with him all across the world. And so it's really humble for the rest of the image he's been trying to project recently. Until he pulls out the table, the little nightstand that he puts by his bedroll and then the single candle. Like I do love the idea that Jack pulls this

stuff out and it's really humbling and then he pulls another thing out and it's like a table and then another thing out. It's like a pillow. It's like slowly gets more. But it is cute that, like, maybe one or two of these components are something that was part of, like, a kit list during his student days. You know what I mean? And you've had it for the last 30 years. And I think the real danger of having a portable hole is it's a lot that you don't have to carry that you can fit in. So it's like his whole life possession is in a 10-foot circle that... He's a hoarder.

He loves stuff. When Jack's playing that stuff out, he pulls like a little, like a separate little globe and it's just a white noise machine, basically. It just makes like a meaning noise. This is a danger come find me machine in the middle of the night when he pulls out. It just makes it like, we're here and sleeping, so don't, ready to ambush. And every time Jack camps, Red's just so happy that Jack hasn't gone back to that first fancy sleeping bag. Because the first time Jack put it away, Red slept in it immediately after. And there's all these hairs and like dirt and sticks and wood in it.

And he's just dreading every time. He's like going to pull it out. So every time the portable hole opens. Red just looks in and he's like, oh, okay, it's the old trustee. It's fine, it's fine. Doran's like, what? One day, Jack's going to be very mad, and I'll tell you why then. Doran's bed roll is the tanned hide of a mountain goat. It's stitched together in such a way that the thick, warm fur is on the inside. It creates a nice comfortable mat. It's pretty good against the weather, but it's been fairly worn over the years, and you can tell he's gotten a lot. lot of use out of it.

It's kind of got that sheen, that, that blood, leather, yitz after it's been rubbed against a lot, you know? I imagine that Doran's, when he sleeps, he, like, sleeps in one position and, like, he stays like that until he wakes up, you know what I mean? Like, it's like Doran shape. I picture Doran going in head first. Oh, yeah. On the ground, right?

He's like, no. And he, like, goes into his sleeping bag with the head and his feet are just out of the top. I don't want to get mud in my bag And I sleep in my boots Makes any scene where Dorn wakes up in the night Even better because it's like The one where Jack like explodes at the puzzle box He gets up and he's like

What's happening? But it's just the top of the sleeping bag Is just on us? I like that No, I don't think so He does sleep in it a lot like Joe had imagined You know He's like gets in

And then within 30 seconds He's sleeping out cold He looks like a thumb and a sack But Sleeps like a stone But also there's like a spot on it. Yeah.

Like a stain where his beard always is. Oh no. Because he never baths. And it's like a... Yeah. Like when you look in, you can see where all the fur

is worn where my body is. Like where my back muscles are. And then the dip in my back. My muscular back. Whoa. Whoa. You're so muscular. You're so muscular.

He is. Those traps, man. Dorn's like a little viking. If I could be so bold as to bring us back to the campfire. Is Dorn shirt, please?

What is this? Dorn's sitting back on his bedroll and eating the piece of rabbit that Redhead given him and he's looking around at the magical floaty items that Jack and Mari created and he turns and says So are you guys getting your spells in order for our next encounter with the giants I imagine you're interested in looking up some new spells or trying to learn something more powerful or, you know, you know how you magic people are. It's always with the casting stuff. You know, what are you thinking?

I mean, I'm always jotting down some notes to think about what would be helpful, but I don't have anything particular coalescing, you know. Tomorrow morning, like always, I'll memorize a day's worth of spells and away we go. Yeah. Yeah, I think, and Mari sort of, again, like just absent-mindedly kind of rubs their shoulder and then sort of looks off into the forest and is like, yeah, I'm just, you know, figuring stuff out. I got some ideas, I got some things I'd like to try.

But I'm going to take maybe, if Jack is okay with it, take a little look at the spellbook and see if there's anything interesting. I can walk on water. Red says through a mouthful of rabbit. It is useful and it has helped us before. Oh yeah, I got lots of spells. Just like these guys.

I just don't use them. I guess I've never really considered, you know, discussing with magic users. I mean, usually the night before a battle and, you know, in the company of soldiers, you might discuss what you've been doing to prepare for the coming encounters that we'll face. But, I mean, being magic users, I guess I'm sort of curious if maybe, I've never thought about it before. Maybe we should be discussing what sort of spells you are prepared. in advance of our encounter with these, uh, these giants, you know, and walk on water. Wim gets up and walks away from the fire.

Oh, bye, Wim. Oh, is that something I said? I think it's fine. I mean, the way I, the way I've been thinking about my magic has definitely been changing. I have some ideas. Who knows? Maybe they'll work. Maybe it'll be great.

Or if not, we're all going to explode. Huh. What? I'm kidding. I'm kidding. Well, I think. Let's hope not. Wim comes back from the dark forest holding a loop of some vine that she's found.

And she claps to get everyone's attention. Ah? Oh, yeah? And she gestures for everyone to stay back. And she moves almost to the point where the firelight doesn't reach her very well. She loops this vine around her arm several times, and she touches the ground underneath her. And the early spring vegetation all around begins to die. Oh, wait a second.

All the crocuses that were growing up underneath the brambles nearby wither and drop their petals. It's almost this pulsing negative energy. And the new greenery of this early spring just decays. And the loop of vine crumbles off of her arm. And she stands up and sort of dusts it off and gestures at the circle of dead that she's left beside your camp. Wow. holy moly it's such a perfect circle too you don't need to do that to recharge your magic or anything

that was just a new spell you've been working on right she nods at you that's a cool spell whim oh and she also gestures like she's pulling something out of the ground and then points at one of you guys like I could I could help you while that is killing the earth oh I'm taking energy from it and then dispersing the flow of energy yeah okay yeah all right I'm picking up what you're putting down. She's saying she wants to do that to one of us? I think if we get trapped in quicksend, she can pull us out or something, I don't know, but very cool, Wim. She sits down

beside you, red, and crosses her legs. Well, that answers your question, Doran just looks a bit quizzical. Okay. Mari goes over to the plants that have died and picks one and checks it, like to see if it... Does it also turn to dust in her hands? No, not like the

spell component that she used in this vine, but it's as dead as popery. And she goes and sits down across the fire from whim and just kind of leaves that one. Well, I think I, you know, echo Doran's sentiments about, you know, preparing for what's coming next. And I think it's smart. And obviously, I have a foot in both, a little bit of spelling, although I don't see it that way, and a little bit of a marshal, although I don't know what that word means.

and I think we're going to do great against the fire giants. Just let that hang in the air. We're going to do it. It's great. Everything's good. It'll be good. Well, it'll be good, but will it be great? And Red, I appreciate your confidence, but have you ever seen a giant real life there, Wim? She shakes her head, and then she points at you, Doren, and then she points at her brain like you are smart. No, Wim, Doran's not a giant.

No, I'm not a giant, no. And I don't have a giant head, okay? I think she's saying you're egotistical. No, no, no. Look, Doran, my perspective is, and always has been, any problem can be tackled so long as we approach it the proper way.

That's right. I've always believed that a perfect string of words put in a specific way can convince anyone of anything. That's how I've always viewed my way of... Now that you say that, that makes a lot of sense. Thinking back on the last five months spent with you. See, case in point.

But the same goes with any plan. Look, we have the means to kill giants. All we need to do is make sure we attack or approach the situation in the way that will allow us to do that without dying. And I think it's something that we can do very well. It just, you know, sometimes might take a little while to plan it out properly. That's exactly it. The planning and the preparation is really what I think is going to help us

really be the strongest team that we can, right? Exactly. Right. Well, we've got an extra person in the party. It's good to think about what our plan is when we, you know, get approached. I'm totally with you, Doran. So if we're approaching an enemy and they're standing up on a cliff, then we're going to want to put ourselves sort of like this and look for some sort of cover.

No, but if we're... Hold on, unless I can get high ground as well, and then I can alter you in the distance as well, because ultimately I should be surveying over everything. Right. Well, and it really depends how much preparation we have, because I think we can make the terrain look like anything we want. Excellent.

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I mean, there's still things. All right, that's plenty of fade out. Unless you want to say something, Marri. Add something to. Coutful jibber-jabber for the background. Eggplant, eggplant, rootabega, root-bago. Well, now I'm going to add that, you realize.

Fucking druids, they never get their head out of the ground. Fucking talking about plants over here. We're busy doing tactics. She's planting her garden for next year.