Dice Shame - 2-116 | 'The Apple Doesn't Fall Far from the Tree'

Episode Date: November 14, 2024

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You can always get it with a piece of paper. We know this guy, don't it? Hello there. You look strangely familiar. Whim, get over here. Adventure, right of passage. My sunny D. Now we're talking. Sorry about my friends here. Just whatever you got.

Something weird happened. I promise. I'll buy the surprise box. Well, it's a devious scheming smile. It says something about copying. Good luck. Did you do that, Jack? I don't know what the mist was about. I just love how Red Light told the bartender. Shut up.

Shut up. Shut up. Don't wait. This isn't the weird behavior we're looking out for, though. If Red C's weird behavior, he's going to be on it. Welcome back to Dice Shame. This is Season 2, Episode 116. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree. MVP this week is Esperanza.

Esperanza is an artist and done a whole slew of amazing Dice Shame art. Esperanza and their partner, stuff and such, listen to the show constantly, stream all the time, and are two of our biggest fans. Thank you so much for listening, Esperanza. You are this week's MVP. Woo-hoo.

All right, should we play some D&D? Yeah, let's do it. Woo! Jack steps into the Harvest Inn in Westbridge and throws open the doors to the saloon, and his big, stompy adventure boots take two steps inside and he surveys what's going on you stand out like a sore thumb there is a lovely large bar occupying the one side of the room a handful of

round tables there are bar stools a crackling fire in the hearth gives this in a warm glow very welcoming but every eye in the room is trained on you jack as you make your entrance marie's like i dressed him i was thinking it's funny if marie walked by and went you look ridiculous and just kept on you know off to the left there is a hallway and a stairwell that goes up to the second floor and there are rooms obviously for rent here but the proprietor standing behind the counter surveys Red's rovers as you enter the bar off to one side however there is a small goblin oh looks the same layout as the car a lot of places we've stayed oh boy red goes to the bar yeah dorin waltz is in as well takes a seat at the bar next to the goblin the goblin the goblin is

strangely familiar to you doran and actually to you red and jack but not to you marie he is goblin sized, small, as they all are. He's got sort of shaggy black hair. He's wearing blue sort of nondescript gobliny clothes. And he's got like a hundred ear piercings, both ears. And on the floor at his feet, which swing about a foot and a half above the floor, he has a large bag that is crammed full of stuff

and he is furiously arguing with the proprietor of the inn as you march over but he quiets down as Harriven Darjigan welcomes you I imagine that Doran and Red are like on either side of this goblin

like not realizing at first Red Light kind of cozes right up to the bar ah looks like they got lots of fun drinks here Welcome to the Harvest Inn. Hold on one second. Do we know this guy, Doran? And Red points the goblin between them. Um, hello there.

You look strangely familiar. Have we met you before? This is the incredible Miko. Miko. Miko. I don't remember me. Wait a minute. This goblin looks an awful lot like a goblin that you met underground one time.

Do we know you? Looks like you Prango's cousin or something. Oh, Prango. Pango's Delights is famous. Hold on, you know Prango? We know Prango. You've certainly heard of Prango. No, no, no, we've dealt with Prango.

Prango's your what, cousin? Sister! Sister! You're the brother of Prango. We bought a bunch of lemonade from Prango. No. Yes! Yaks-piss lemonade. Wait. Ilksap?

That's the one, remember? Remember? Krayloth drank a whole bunch of it, and I think Dorn got really sick off of it. I don't remember. Miko reaches a sly hand down into this near-bursting bag and slams a flagging full of this strange drink down on the table. Now we're talking. Mari's got to try it. I got to try what now? Mari's like over at the bar just like she's just gotten a glass of wine and she's watching this go down.

No, no, no. Whim, get over here, adventure, right of passage, drink some milk sap. Whim sidles up and sort of pushes in beside Red at the bar. This is elk sap from, well, I guess, what's your name, Miko? Miko. This is Miko's marvels. We met Prango, Miko's sister, when we were in the caves up north in Faustabar, Manstabar. Zanzibar?

You're far from there. Who isn't a cave? Candlebar. Something bar. Mirror bar. That was it. Mirror bar. We were in the caves of Mirabar on the way to the eye of the old father, and we were taking

some yak through the tunnels. That's right. Five points, adventure points to me, Jack. Added it to the list. Don't worry. I'm keeping track. And his sister sold us on these really wonderful elk piss sack things. There's a whole Rothay love story.

It was quite a journey. You don't have to tell me about this later. If you truly met. Crango. We truly did. What else did you purchase from her? Oh, wow, this is like Dyshame trivia. We bought. There's a ring.

Wasn't there? It was a box of random goods. Yeah. Crayloff bought it. That ring that gives you like one on initiative or something that maybe Doren's wearing? Yes. There was a little floating thing that gave us a little bit more advantage on our ability to withstand a hit. And a bunch of junk.

It was basically junk. But we did buy your sister out of. all of her yak piss. When you call Prango's inventory junk, Miko's face just sours. He doesn't say anything, but he just... I don't mean junk, junk, I mean, like, junk. Like, you know, junk in the trunk. He's masdickin. I don't know if that helps.

Yeah, maybe doesn't translate well. I don't mean junk in a bad way. I mean trinkets, knickknacks, hobnobs, chocolate-covered biscuits. What? Yeah. Will you buy some ilk sap? For an offended brother of Prango, yes, one for me and my adventure pal here Wim, who hasn't tried it yet, and you know what, one for my friend Mario over there too.

How much? One gold each. What? Whoa. In this economy? And Harriven's like, oh, you really can't be just selling things in my restaurant. Hold on, Harrigan. The corking fee at least.

50 cents per cup with an additional. additional 50 cents if we don't die wait that's two gold for three cups hang on a second what we don't die it's okay marie i'm doing business she orders another glass of wine the first one's not even done she's just like i'll take another one two gold for three cups and if you don't die you have to buy the next thing i'm selling wait if i buy the next thing you're selling right now at half price sight unseen Surprise bag. You don't even have to make the sale. Deal.

I just love how Red like told the bartender, shut up, shut up. Don't worry. This isn't the weird behavior we're looking out for, though. If Red sees weird behavior, he's going to be honest. He's going to know. Miko spits in his hand and offers it to you. Red looks down at it and spits in the goblin's hand as well.

Yeah. He just kind of rubs it on his pants. Like, hmm, I guess that'll have to do. Red pulls the two gold, and then he goes back into the bag. And how much is half-priced on the next item? Fifteen gold. I knew that, obviously. Red.

That means it's seven and a half, right? Fifteen is half-priced. Okay, that's coming out of my portion. The bartender rolls his eyes and gives you three tall glasses. And also, whatever your cheapest wine is at this point. And I'll have an ale. He's like, all right. And any points at you, Jack?

Uh, yeah. Um, I'll have what Marie's having. Great. Ooh. All of the wine. Just whatever you got. Harriven Dar Dragon pours you a flagon of ale, Doran. Thank you.

Thank you. Uh, sorry about my friends here. They, uh, they're easy to get distracted. And, uh, I'm not so oblivious to the fact that, that Goblin is, uh, selling stuff in your establishment. Listen, I figure The faster he gets it over with The faster he'll be out of here probably

Yeah, absolutely You are an interesting-looking band of friends Yes, we're adventures Part of the Adventures Guild of Waterdeep actually Here, cheers And he holds his flagged or tankard up Whatever you said there Cheers to that

Yeah, we're passing through Don't get many adventures in here these days. Yeah, I heard. Basically none. Merchants, occasionally, people visiting loved ones. Is that normal? Like, for you to not be seeing many adventures pass through, Westbridge?

I mean, you're right on the main road here. He scrubs the countertop with a dirty rag thoughtfully and looks into the middle distance. I suppose. It's kind of a matter of opinion. What's normal and what's not? Yeah, I suppose you're right. I guess what we're trying to find out

why white bridge here is you know left alone and you know and I'm not I'm not I'm not trying to scare you or anything but you know everywhere around has had a real problem with vicious giants simply attacking out of the blue literally throwing boulders of size of houses into cities and killing people and yet war bridge here has been not even touched at all What could possibly be going on here? Red takes the ilk sap from Miko. Yep.

But he takes it in his wine skin. Red doesn't want to use anything from this town in case it's tainted. Pour it right in there. Yeah, he can barely fucking lift this flag in to pour it. It's like watching a four-year-old try to struggle with a carton of milk. It's $7 worth of splashing around. My sunny D.

Purple stuff. Yeah, some definitely gets on the countertop. But he... Ging up sizzles. pours a portion in your wine skin and then a cup for Mari and a cup for Wim. Yeah, Marie looks at Jack and she's like, is this, am I going to die? Should I? We didn't die last time.

Wim's already drank it. It's gone. She belches like surprisingly loudly and then sort of scrubs the back of her hand across her mouth and then puts it down like, I'll have another. Yeah. Mari slams it back and what does it taste like? It's like kind of root-y, lightly rooty. Like a dirty carrot, but like nice, like sweet.

This sounds kind of like some I drink in real life anyways, so. Yeah, it's like lightly carbonated. It's like not sour kombucha, but kind of root-y. It's kind of like a beet was nice to you. Yeah. In my mind, it's a texture thing more than it. Sure. That's the part of it that when I imagine a root vegetable dirty,

carrot drink, to me, it's got some viscosity to it. There's a little grit in there, maybe, yeah. Red squeezed it into his mouth, like a Gatorade bottle at a sports event. He's like, oh yeah, I remember that now. Awful, awfully delicious. Awfully delicious. Now, what's the other thing I just bought? Lay it out here.

It better be worth it, Miko. Miko rifles around in the bottom of the bag and pulls out a pair of iron scissors. Shaped like a stork. The beak forms the blades. This was worth every cent I paid you. Jack's eyes light up. Is it more than 100 years old? It is.

I roll stone cunning on it. What do they do? Miko picks them up artfully and pulls a tuft of hair off of your arm and snips it. They cut? Brilliant. Jack's eyes lit up as he sees the antique well-made pair of scissors. What are we looking at? The craftsman who made this fine pair of antique grooming shears is named Dipithanielsen from the south.

I love them. And Red snatches them up and twirls them and puts them on his belt holster, ready to be used in action. Oh boy They need to barber someone Dipple Thanielsen original Just in the belt, huh? Oh, I'm sure they're being treated better Than in the Goblins bag

I have more wares For sale So just out of curiosity What is the monetary value Of this art object That's more of the century old? Do we get a good deal? To the right collector, maybe 20 gold

He's definitely like not giving you a half-price deal Yeah Maybe half price from what he intended to charge you for it. I will never tell Red that. That's fine. You got a steal on those, Red. I don't care about the money.

It's about the scissors. And if you've met my sister, truly, you will know that our wares are an all or nothing kind of deal. What is, wait? The next item. He reaches down into his bag and pulls out a blank scrap of parchment, and he puts it down. Yes, please. Sold. You could always get it with a piece of paper.

This, a magic letter, written in invisible ink. Who's it from? I possess not the eye to ascertain. Can I study it for a minute, or do I have to buy it right away? You must purchase. How much do you want for it? 20 gold. 20 gold.

How old's the paper look? I think pretty fresh. Like, you probably took it off of an adventure that he found, like, half dead and rotted by the roadside last season. I don't think it matters, because even if this is worthless, it's going to set me up for a great prank on red, and so I'm going to take the paper. 21. Oh! As, like, Jack goes for it. The bartender walks over to refill Mari's cup and then returns to you, Doran.

I suppose the more important question to me. why is the rest of the world so fucked up that there are giants throwing boulders into people's houses all over the place and creating a lifestyle such as yours where you feel it's necessary to go around protecting folks? If I was going to tell you that story, I think we'd be here all night. Fair. And I'll just sum it up in a few words.

And that is, it's out of our control. And, you know, I have to be as honest as I can with you here. Really, we're doing our best to try and stop this sort of stuff from happening. It's certainly not something worth pushing. I thank you, and I appreciate the work that you do, if it is as you say. I would also appreciate if you kept your voice down in the tap room. talk of war, essentially, and destruction and death. It's not heard really here in Westbridge,

and the people would be frightened. I'm frightened. Like I said, I'm not here to scare you. Obviously, West Point has been, you know, not touched at all. And I don't think there's anything really for you to be afraid of. at this very moment, but I'd be lying if I said there weren't things to be afraid of in this world. And that is the truth. And anything could happen at any time. And that's not me trying to scare you. That's just me saying a blank statement. And then a bull. Crashing through.

Mari sneezes and everything, just all the bar tears up and it just kills everyone. Everybody, yeah, everybody jumps under tables. at the other end of the bar read outbid jack for the letter 21 like look red's an idiot and this is the kind of thing that works on an idiot where it's like it's a magic letter red's like what i mean you remember i don't know if you do remember one of the things that prango sold you guys was an empty bottle that she said there was a ghost inside i don't remember that a bottle of the ghosts 21 gold Sorry Jack But this is too important Here's 22 gold In my hand right now

23 He says he is 23 But he's not showing him to you I just paid you 15 You know I'm good for it Miko He's already down 15 Does he really have 23 Oh I have so much

You have no idea Hmm I will sell to the highest bidder Guys please Or The person who will promise To buy the surprise box I promise

I promise I'll buy the surprise box 50 gold. That's all you, Red. But you're going to forget that letter. 50 gold. I need it. I'll buy it. Red goes into his bag and pulls out 50 gold.

Slams it down on the counter. Miko dives deeply into the bag. It's now empty. You've bought him out of his stores as he passes you a medium-sized, shabby-looking box. Krales was bigger. Mm-hmm. But clearly, as you hand over your money and take possession of this surprise box, there are some articles inside.

Red grabs the box and puts the letter on top of the box and runs over to a table and, like, lays it out. Thanks, Pico. Thanks, Pico. And he goes to open the box and he stops at the letter. And he stops at the box. And he stops at the letter. And then he looks at Jack, who's still at the counter. Jack's got a glass of wine. Jack is watching, but he's trying not to look perturbed that he can.

get to see that blank piece of paper. But red rolls insight on Jack. Uh. 21. Jack looks devious. It's written all over Jack's face that he's like, like if the Grinch's weird smile, he's, he's given Red that look. He's happy that I got the letter?

Well, it's a devious scheming smile. And Red kind of looks perplexed down at the piece of paper. Devious? I thought he wanted the letter. He just like slides it aside for a second. and then he opens the box Inside the box, Red are such marvels as you have never seen

A sewing needle An empty bottle of ink One rabbit skin glove A chipped seashell A really big dead beetle And a handheld Golden Bell Red reaches into the box

And grabs one of the items and stands up the glint of gold reflecting on his face and he walks away from the box and approaches Mari. You know, I always see you as really the bell of the ball, this entire party, really. And I wanted to give you this dead beetle.

And he opens his hand and reveals the dead beetle. Maybe you could bring it back to life. Oh, I'm assuming he's been dead longer than 10 days. Roll an nature check. I love the idea of her going into wasting this massive, this massive spell. to go bring a single beetle back to life.

I rolled a 17. Eight days, actually. Oh. There is this moment where she like takes this beetle from red. And she goes, thank you. And there's this moment where she's almost tempted to see if she could do it. She also knows that it is really not probably not the best thing to waste all these spell components on a single beetle, but she...

And another thousand gold... Yeah, yeah. You imagine a... That's good. My God, you've run out of money so fast. But she goes, thank you. Ever since Mari came, we've been so broke. Bleeding money.

Is it, like, shiny at least? Does it match her, um, her like iridescenty kind of... Yeah, it's really, it's like a, like a rhino beetle type vibe. Like, it's got a weird protruding nose part to it. And it's, like, very shiny black carapace that's, like, kind of opalescent green. Ooh. And she goes, thank you. And she puts it down gently on the bar.

One of its legs breaks off. Oh, that's okay. That's okay. She pulls out of her bag her little, like, leather working kit. There's, like, a little, like, sewing and leather kit with, like, little pieces. And she starts, like, poking through it. Oh, weird. Okay.

Red walks away. And back in the box, he grabs the needle out. and he walks over to Doran. And this is for you, Doran. No. I think it's for sewing. I figured it was, you know, worth giving to one of the other artisan people. Mari's already got her own leather working kit.

You don't get to do much, so. She's like carefully working away. Of course, yeah, I can always use this to mend. What's his bartender been talking to you about? Oh, well, I was just curious about, I thought I'd ask the bartender about what the constable was telling us. Not to scare anybody, but it seems that this is a pretty quiet town and inexplicably. Huh. Mm-hmm.

Oh, I forgot. Happy Apple Day. Oh, yeah. Happy Apple Day to you, too. Yeah, happy Apple Day. Happy Apple Day. Listen, have you got rooms here for rent in this here establishment? Yes, of course.

Upstairs, there are some fine rooms. How many would you like? Two. That's right, yeah. one for whim and the other four of us the other three, four of us will sleep in the big

beds. Yeah, yeah. Wonderful. You didn't have to tell him. Five gold a night. All right. Dwarven style. It's not weird.

It's all good. Doren puts down some gold and I want to reassure you again. I'm not warning you of anything that's right here on the doorstep but I would be lying if I told you to not be prepared for potentially,

potential problems. You don't know of anything like a magic spell on this town, do you? Like, really, it's got me scratching my head. He comes around the side of the bar to clear some tables, and as he does, Doran, he sets a hand

on your shoulder, and he looks in your eyes, and he says, the worst trouble we've had here in Westbridge is one of the commoners getting too drunk one night and knocking over someone else's fence on the way home. Huh.

By accident. Was it a sheep fence? It was, actually. Yeah, we already solved that problem. Westbridge is a nice, quiet town. It really seems so. And we hope to keep it that way.

Yeah, my word, we're not going to do anything to change that. And then he goes over and starts busing some tables. Now, everyone, look at my box, and Red runs back over to his box. There's a bell in here, and he's a... He's a mysterious magic letter. I can't read it. Red picks it back up and looks at the text. But maybe if I try real hard...

No, nothing. But check out this box, and Red picks up the box, and runs back to Mari and Doran at the bar, and he starts going through the items and showing them. Jack sneaks a quill out of his jacket, and it floats surreptitiously across the bar over to the table that Red has left the letter on, and he starts scratching away some things.

and imbuing that text with magic until the words appear on the page where there were none before. And this bell, and Red picks up the bell and rings it. It's so ringy. As you ring the bell, red, something strange begins to happen. A mist creeps out from the spaces and all of the floorboards in this tavern

and hovers about a foot in the air, and everyone quiets and stops talking and looks around trying to figure out what's going on. Red, you said you would deal with it if something weird happened. I don't think it's the apples. Red, stops ringing the bell,

slips it into his belt. Jack, you notice, as your quill finishes this spell and traverses back through the mist towards where you would hide it in your things, it leaves almost a strange trail. Huh. What the hell? Red walks over the line.

There's a line from Jack to the paper. What? Look, everyone, look. Redd points it out. Red runs over to the piece of paper, which now has writing on it. It does. It says, this paper you're holding is cursed.

You must now make five copies of this letter and give them to adventures in five adventuring parties in the next ten days, or the chain letter goblin. we'll steal your words. That's fucking funny. Inspiration on that, Rob. That's so good.

Oh. Oh no. Jack, I think you cursed. What do you mean? This paper is attached to you. Wait, he's cursed? Look at the line. Jack, in the mist, it seems to have attached itself to you.

Quickly, Jack, I think you need to do this. And Red picks it up very carefully. Like, maybe he doesn't even touch it. uses the lid of the box and carries it over to you. It says something about copying it. Good luck. I can't read this. What?

Yeah, Red, there's nothing on here. What? So it really is a letter only red can read. Oh, so it's actually invisible. The magic of the script really is everybody else it looks like intelligible scratches. To red, it says those words. To no one else does it say those words. Yeah, Wim runs over and like perches on your shoulder.

and she confirms what Jack's saying with a shake of her head. Wait, you can't read this? Only I can read this. There's super faint scratches on there, but they don't, there are no language I know. Yeah. You know, you understand what this language is? Yes. Yes, it says, I have to create a copy of this, or I'll be cursed.

Oh, no. The words on the page change until it says, you have 10 days red-handed Robin, or the chain letter goblin will steal your word. It says, I have 10 days. Whoa. It's changing in front of me. Crazy. Backkeep, I need paper.

Five of them, quickly. Five pieces of paper. Harriven obliges you and rifles around for a little while. Find some paper in an old printer somewhere. Red scoops it up. There's an old, like, laser printer back there. It's a dot matrix. It's all connected.

You got to tear the little, tear the little. Red scoops it up, and he's like, I'm sorry, guys, I got to deal with this now. And he runs upstairs to the rooms that we, just booked. You hear him, and the door slam. Did you do that, Jack? I don't know what the mist was about.

Yeah, what's, what, is the mist still there? Is it still? No, the mist has sort of fallen back down to the ground by this point. Is there any sort of smell or anything? Does there anything? The room changed. It smells like damp earth. It smells like one of those smoke machines.

Yes. Doran sort of rolls his eyes and apologizes to the bar. Oh, sorry about that. Has this ever happened before? This weird mist that was... No. No, no, no. I told you I didn't...

We don't need any stuff happening in Westbridge. That's fine. That's fine. I just wanted to go maybe just take a quick look in the root cellar to make sure maybe there isn't some sort of broken pipe or something causing... It's fine, lady. I'll take care of it. Hey, Miko, where'd you find this bell? Miko found none of the...

I am a merchant of rare artifacts. I certainly didn't just randomly find these things by the side of the road. So Jack takes a moment to start saying the words that make the weave appear before his eyes so he can detect the magic happening around him. And in a couple of minutes, he's... You detect remnants of divination magic, just residual. after effects in the room. And also the effects of your own spell,

which caused red to be terrified. Jack, what do you notice? It's some sort of divination. It's probably not dangerous. Do you think it was the bell that rang right when it happened, or was there something else in that box? I think it was the bell. And now I'm wondering what would happen

if you just kept ringing it. Mari's been like sitting there and kind of fussing with this little beetle husk and has basically sort of mounted it onto like a little piece of leather and there's a little pin through the back of it. He's basically made into a little pin. Horrific. And, uh, and she goes and she turns and she gently pins it onto the edge of Jack's coat. You know, I know the outfit's kind of flashy, but it could use a little natural touch. Trust your instincts on this one. I'm trying. I know. Well, we'll take a look at that bell when

when Red comes back, but I know that at some point I'd still like to take a look at your spellbook. Yeah, I had a couple of thoughts about that and what happened this morning. Maybe tonight once the other two had gone to bed, well, I have a plan. Right. Red, you barge in through the door upstairs to your room that you've rented out. There are three beds in here and a couple of chests, a writing table. There's no time. red runs in the writing table and pushes everything off of it and slaps the five pieces of paper down and

the letter and starts screaming down okay okay fred you could do this you remember how to write he's like dipping his quill very slowly door i can't do this to doran i can't do this to jaccomari two adventurer and he starts copying each which copying the letter down onto like sheets of paper. Red, as you labor over the painstaking process of remembering your letters, you accidentally get a paper cut. Damn it. This must be part of the curse.

Red says, like, squeezes his fingertip. Ow. As a drop of your blood falls on this scene. seemingly unimportant fake magical letter. The blood splatters onto its surface and begins to resolve into an image. Patriots, Adam Frey, Abriel, aka Trash Panda, Allison Wrights, Alicia Andrews, Alicia Duh, Amanda Nicole, Amanda Romano, Anna Lena, Atholagoth, Axel, Bean Boy Gav, Bird, Bob, Caspian, Charles, there's a lot of these, Christopher, Sedate, Colin Burckhard, Couch, Crow, David Shaw, Dippity, DJ, Eldrich Unicorn, Emerson Forsberg, Erin Lightning, Fjord, Fulcrum, Gabby, Tau, Gareth Bradshaw, Haley, Harpo the Marks, Izzy, Jay.

D. Josh Galusha, Joshua Nance, Joy Robinson, K.M. Karen DeLay, Cass, Keith Adelae, Kelly Foulds, Lambda, Letta J, Lickrott, Liz, Lorelley Feldman, Manderpants, Merrick's Moon, Mullinda Curley, Merlin, Michaela, Minty, Mizra, Moon, Nibia, Guiga, Nicky, Knox the Nightshark, Oakland, Okie-Doki, Pan, pinch of peppers, Queen, Rabida Naz cheese, Regan, Ren, Rigor Mour Mortis Riot Rowan Ruth Ann Reed Trent Scottie seer of time Shannon Waldener S ray 96 stab sunny tea kettle ulysses vol control waffle 427 Xander morning dove Zephyrus and Zill Street Elizabeth Um, so, uh, see you next time. Thanks for listening.

How to Kill a Wizard. Whoa. It's a really specific diagram, too. It's just like to kill Jack, page. Stone two heads. It's just a nudie. It's just a naked giant. It just tells you who farted most recently within the hundred foot proximity.

It's like prime evil awareness. But for fart. Fart evil awareness.