Dice Shame - 2-117 | 'Rotten Apple'

Episode Date: November 21, 2024

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We are Red's Rovers. We don't need no shadow thieves. Doran, did you sleep wonderfully? Red, are you okay? Tell you, Red, it's too bad whim, wasn't here? Discovers doesn't necessarily mean to understand. So, ha! I don't get an outfit. It's funny, okay? We get it.

Hey, listen, it fades out. Here it is. She just sticks in her pocket. I'm just gonna eat my breakfast. I'm with you. I wanna help you solve this mystery. All right, come on, boys. We got a mystery to solve. To the streets.

Red, yeah, I gotta tell you, the joke is over. I didn't have any apples. and you could stop pretending like I did. You just ate one now. He's eating an apple as he's saying this. Well, I'm not, but I, I meant yesterday. Welcome back to Dyshame. This is Season 2, episode 117, Rotten Apple.

MVP this week is Andy. Andy is, of course, the one and only Alex Nersald's partner who loves to hang out during stuff in such as stream and cause mischief. Andy is a very special someone to the podcast. Thank you for listening. And you are this week's MVP. All right. Shall we do this? Yeah, let's play some D&D. Woo! So I'm going to preface this with the immediate questions I know I'll get. No, you don't know them. Yes, it was recent, and you get $10,000 for doing this. What is the smallest body of water you would get into that also has a dead body in it?

Oh, a bathtub. Wow. Damn. That is, like, how big of a tub? Like, are we talking like one of like your standard, like, house one where you can like barely sit in it? Yeah, but wait, the three was 10,000. You don't know them. It was recent.

Recent? That's all I need to know. Genuinely. I'm spooning this guy. Well, obviously some money would be nice. But money aside, know them or not. The question is recent. Right.

That is the biggest factor for me. Putrefaction plays a role for sure. I mean, I would be... Is there sloughing? But if it's recent, we're safe. Okay, fine. Then I'm going to one up, Harlan, and say, a barrel. Wow.

Whoa. Fucking sink, guys. What's smaller than a barrel? Kitchen sink? Wheelbarra. Teacup. A bucket. Well, this point, doesn't matter if you win any money.

A water bed are just spooning together. Fine. Alex and I are both in barrels with dead body. The finger of the deceased is in a thimble, and mine is also in that thimble. To reason, but that feels less bad somehow, Joe. That feels less, like, the more of your surface area that is in contact with the dead body, the worst this is. I'm hugging the dead body. Yeah.

Listen, I go one-to-one ratio. Alex was, like, expecting definitely nothing smaller than a pool or something. Yeah, I love how quickly it went to tub. immediate tub a big hot tub that's not too hot but we don't have Rob would go a big hot tub not too hot yeah how hot's too hot I mean just not enough to like cook them and make it weird it's kind of where I'm getting I don't know many hot enough to cook a deal in my mind though what what's your size in your saw because I'm guessing based on the surprise in your question yours must be pretty big see like I I feel like I

could do the large hot tub if if I could also give them like a fun shirt and like a little like pool drink weekend at Bernie style yeah so basically I could like hang out with them and be in there four five hours oh easy yeah five hours yeah um but then after that five hours in a hot tub is too much never mind I don't want to be in a bathtub for five hours of dead body or not that's just a normal like five hours and water would be more concerning than fire is in water You're peeing in there for jerseys. Yeah. So did he.

Well, you know, and stuff. I take it back. Maybe like a pool. It's fine. I don't know. Yeah. Five hours is a long time. If he shits and pisses, then it becomes a different question.

Then it's like, how long would you sit in still? No, we can sew them up first. It's a lot of prep work. Your soul gets a Hawaiian shirt. There's prep work involved. I think this question says a lot about how we individually view dead bodies more than anything. because I think some of us probably are less concerned with them than others. Like I know Joe has been to medical school where you literally have to cut open cadavers.

Her relationship with a dead body, you know what I mean? I'm sure it would be one of those situations where you're like, yeah, I could do five hours in a pool with a dead person. And then like after the first 10 seconds, you're like, what the fuck? I wouldn't be I couldn't do this Oh yeah you definitely don't know how you're going to react Until you're taking a swim Again put them in a fun shirt

Give them a lay it'll be fine Now it's silly For like a weekend of Bernie type thing That makes it worse for some reason Floating around Do I have to put the shirt on them Or do they come with the shirt ahead of time Dress up gear makes it much more a sinister

If it's rigor mortis it's going to be hard to put that shirt on Are we alone with the body Like in the dark or are we with a bunch of friends I can definitely do five hours a few five in a dead body. Yeah, you can be in the dark if you want. It's a party. Like for an extra thousand bucks or something, but like, no, your buddies aren't there. I mean, like to imagine.

He's a weird Mr. Beast challenge. Yeah. Oh, God, don't get them ideas. We're all there. We're like, we're like watching from the distance, like, being like, can't believe he's still in the tub with that body. Yeah, I don't, I, I, I, I don't inherently have an issue with being near it. dead body.

Let me put it that way. Same. The factors that would affect it are like more than anything that's like how long. And then there's a myriad of questions afterwards like, did this person die vomiting? Like, did their head get shot? Is it gross? That's exactly what I was going to ask. Is like, is it an old person, a young person, a baby?

Is it like how gruesome was the death? I'm drawing the line of children because that's just. just too weird and uncomfortable. That's what I have experience with, unfortunately. So, like, that's... But to me, I don't think there's... To me, it's, like, the question, I guess, from my perspective would be the same is, like,

how long would you be in a pool with a dead dog? Or, like, you know what I mean? Like, it's just flesh. Like, to me, it's like, I don't feel any, like, spiritual connection to it. It would just be like, how long can you be near this hunk of dead thing? This Halloween pool party got weird.

Have you guys ever looked in a pool filter and there's a dead frog in there and you're like, aw, Dang, dead frog water. That's what I mean. Like, it's kind of the same, just bigger. It's a giant frog. It is a full-size hippo.

It's just in the pool. You know what? I would feel better in a chlorinated water than in just tap water. Like in a pool's level of chlorine, that feels better. But I can chlorinate the bathtub. You bleach your skin and hair at that point. I'm not bleaching the pool. I can still, I chlorinate the bathtub the same amount I would chlorinate the pool.

Listen. wait to scale or just the same amount of chlorine that would go into the pool yes tan is gone the more I think about it yeah I'd have to be like a pool the size of a soccer field okay they need to be able to get away from it wow you changed a lot no I'd be right in the bathtub I'd nap head out put my head back close your eyes why not it's not gonna come to life are you using the body as a pillow I would enjoy it. I wouldn't be like playing hopscotch

or high five with it or anything. I would just be like, you know. High five it at the end. We did it together. Yeah, but that was like a degraded body. Yeah, that's what I was saying about that. That again is the only question for me is how long has it been dead. Yeah.

But if it's fresh, then I don't care. Do I get a book? I'm just thinking about sitting somewhere for five hours. You definitely need a book or something. Well, that's what I mean. Like put it this way. Sitting in a bathtub with a dead body versus sitting at that's up with a live person who's not moving,

isn't that different. True. It's kind of what I'm saying. Either way, I'm cramped. But you know, all I'm saying is like, the steps between the amount of time you spend

with somebody who says nothing, it doesn't move. Yeah, yeah. There's no emotional additional issue with that so long as, again, they're not shot in the head. Can I turn the hot water on every so often to keep the water warm?

Yeah, I want to say you can stay relatively comfortable. Like, Like, all right, time to, you put the... I want to listen to some podcasts. Yeah, yeah. You get to pick, like, one thing. You can either, like... I want to record a podcast.

Welcome back to the dead body in the bathtub. Coming at you. Me and Daddy. Yeah. How you feeling? My co-host, not very, not very talkative today, or ever. Not very talking of today. Ooh, you're being a little stiff.

Some of you don't believe my co-host is here with me, but I promise you, listen to him. Oh, it's like I'm carrying dead weight here. Dead air everywhere. Dead air. It's just endless. puns for like five hours and you're like well i've made every single dead body pun all right i've achieved my goal give me the money goodbye everyone but i think then you transcend and start talking about other things just because you're talking you've got to keep talking you've got time yeah it'll get

boring about death and i and would be really cool is by the end i would feel so much more comfortable too i'd be like looking at his tone oh no no not like uncomfortable i would just be like i would be so much more accepting you know what i mean like someone who works out of a morgue would be like the first body they see would be like uh by the 10th year they'd be like this is another body i need to cut open there just no you know what i mean i feel like i would be sitting there just like by the end like painting their fingernails like ooh you gotta clean your cuticles up god you take care of these in life why would you fix the cuticles um anyway yep let's play dungeons and dragons now let's play dungeons and dragons yeah yep oh

Upstairs in the Harvest Inn, the beds all pushed together. Mari, Jack, Red, and Doran spend a cozy night in Westbridge, while Wim gratefully accepted the offer of a private neighboring room to herself. You gain the benefits of a long rest in a safe haven. And then you wake, the sun is already climbing slowly past the horizon. Who gets out of bed first, and how do you extract yourself from this pile of friends? I mean, Jack tends to be an early riser, you know, and probably went to sleep late anyways because it doesn't need a lot of it. So I think he just does his best to roll right off the edge of the bed and kind of creep towards the door.

Red's going to hear him no matter what, so that's already a lost cause. But if he doesn't wake Doran and Mari, I think that's a win. I think Mari's like already awake. She just does not strike me as a sleeping in kind of person. And she, as soon as she kind of hears someone else get up, she's like, all right, I think it's fine if I get coffee and sort of sneaks out her hair is all like tied up on the top of her head to try to minimize how much of it gets in people's faces in the night and there's this deep gasp as dorin finally gets air after marie's hair has been like water torturing him all night

your lucky dwarves have a high constitution and red is still fully wrapped around Doran. Oh, Jack. Oh, he's the first out and then Marie. Doran is my breath bad. And Doran stretches and kind of puts his arm around Red and cuddles him in tight. Oh, tell you, Red, it's too bad. Wim wasn't here.

She was probably very cold last night all alone in her bed. Probably. She's probably very lonely. Brief smash. cut over to Wim who is like gratefully starfishing in a queen-sized bed with the embers of last night's fire still keeping the room warm and then back to the boys the gender neutral boys yeah maybe we follow Jack and Mari downstairs to the top room perfect heravan is preparing breakfast for his guests miko the little goblin is sitting at a table by himself

with his head and his hands, uh, asleep. Looks cozy. Mari goes up to the, sits down at the bar, kind of far from the goblin, not to wake, wake him and very quietly tries to order something like a tea or a coffee or whatever, whatever kind of like warm beverage is available. Jack takes a minute to go outside and, and, you know, say a few quick prayers to Lathander looking at this, you know, the rising sun and then come in to study his spellbook for the morning, sort of Kieran wrapped around his neck as he sits by a fire for a second.

A few minutes later, Red comes down, maybe with Doran trailing. And Red, now having, like, fully awoken is beaming. He's like, ah, just like the biggest, cheesiest smile on his face. Well, well, well, didn't we all sleep wonderful? Marie? Did you sleep wonderfully? Oh, I definitely slept. Doran, did you sleep wonderfully?

Oh, yeah. Totally, totally. And Jack? Jack, Red, like, walks over to Jack and gets right in his face. Jack, did you sleep wonderfully? Pretty good. Pretty good, I bet. What's going on?

Ha! And Red slams down the paper, like three pieces of paper from last night and says, You think I didn't know? You little deceptive wink? admittedly it took me more than I realized before I recognized Jack's handwriting but I realized that this is not real

looks like you caught your little trick there Jack but what is real red slides out from the bottom of the stack a red sort of inked piece of paper and puts it down between the three of you is this take a lookie

scrawled in what seems to be red ink on this piece of parchment is a simple sentence and it says Red solves a mystery and red like waggles his eyebrows at the other three oh

very good Red Doran sort of like takes up a coffee that's sitting there oh wait that was mine thanks but here's the fun part Doran I didn't write that

I didn't write that at all Last night, as I was copying down Jack's letter, who got my goat, admittedly. Stephen? I cut, no, never Stephen. I cut myself and bled on this piece of paper, the seemingly non-magical piece of paper sold by that guy over there. And it turns out that it is magical, in some way at least.

Because when I bled on it last night, guess what it said? Hmm, he didn't say this last night. last night it said red discovers the true use of this paper underneath Jack's ink you have to kind of look past it and this morning it said this so ha is the red is the red your blood yeah why yes it is I didn't have to bleed on it again but it's it's you know it's part of it Murray's been looking at it quite closely and she puts it down again

Jack waves his hand over the paper and all of his letters just scattered to the outside and sort of form a border around the paper to get out of the way that spell keeps running for a week or so the letters are going to be around but Mm-hmm At least Now the peripheral letters

Yeah but now they're not in the way We've moved them, you know Take a lookie Seems to be narrating your life Hmm Yeah that's Well that's what I thought So I kind of

You know Well that's all I have But I thought That's pretty neat Ah Maury goes and takes Her dagger And she pricks

her finger very gently. So there's like one little drop blood. She just wipes it on the edge of the paper. Nothing seems to happen. The blood smears and then it is absorbed by the paper. I think it's also got this and Red runs to the far side of the room leaving his paper there and he says, paper come and he snaps his fingers. The paper sort of rolls over on itself and then starts to flutter across the room and folds itself neatly in half and tucks itself into a pocket in your cloak. See?

And Red walks back over and takes it out and lays it out again. Neat. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay. Harrivin nods at you. Good morning to you. Yeah, good morning. Have you got some meat or any of those biscuits? Breakfast. It's nearly ready. If you can just wait a couple of minutes. Can I

offer you an apple in the meantime? It's a little regional celebration we folks entertain once every. 10-day. In fact, I got a little flyer here all printed up. He gestures to a short stack of papers printed with a picture of an apple. There's a few catchy phrases on the flyer, things like Westbridge Apple Day, and an apple a day keeps the healer at bay. Yeah, we know about Apple Day. See, we don't need it. I don't know about Apple Day. I don't know if I've even had an apple before. Come on, Doreen.

You have had an apple. What are you talking about? Well, if I did. they're not, it's not memorable. Of course you had one. You had one yesterday, you numskull? But I've definitely never heard of Apple Day. Well, what did we talk about? Yesterday we came into town. We grabbed an apple. Remember from Apple Day out front? You mean the onion that I ate? No, that was not an apple, Red. No, no, no, no, no. The apple, remember? Wim! Whim! Wim's upstairs still, she's fast asleep.

Stay right here and Red Runs off. Mm-hmm. Weird. That's a new one. I don't know what he's talking about. Anyway, if you'd like, you can have an apple. I would love to have an apple. Full of fiber and vitamins.

Horses love them. I love them. Whatever. Yeah. Oh, yeah. She can one at the house. Mari, I did get some supplies yesterday that I, you know, for that thing we were talking about on the road. Oh, yeah.

And Jack pulls out a bag. And it's got the bread and the onions from yesterday. And he looks inside. Yeah, there's an apple in there. Oh. Weird. Looks like you've got an apple there, Jack. Oh.

Yeah. See, I knew you'd seen one before. Or we must to pick this up back in water deep and left it in my pack. Don't worry about it. Red comes down, pulling Wim down the stairs, like frantically pointing at the three at the table. And then he turns to Wim, and he's like, tell them about Apple Day. She-Mim's eating an apple. Yes.

Yeah, that would make sense. It seems to be part of it. Today is Apple Day. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, yesterday, Wim, yesterday. We came into town, yes? She nods. And out front of this building, there was a lady offering free apples because it was Apple Day, right?

She nods at you. See? I knew it. And I said, I said, only women I didn't eat the apples. Red. This is some maybe prescient dream? We only celebrate Apple Day once a 10 day, and that's today. Yeah, and Red, you were, like, running a lot in your dream and making little, like, yipping noises.

Maybe you were dreaming. That was just because I was excited. I can't believe none of you remember Apple Day. Red. It's funny, okay? we get it. Jack played the cruel joke on you with the letter and now you're

trying to fool us and make us think that... It wasn't fair to trick you with words. I'm sorry. It's okay, no, no, no, no. And Red reaches into his pocket and he unfolds the piece of paper and he hands it to whim. Look, Red solves the mystery. This is the mystery. About Apple Day, look, and he takes it out of her hand and slams down the piece of paper on the table. Listen,

I am telling you, on whatever weird God you believe in. Yesterday we came into this town and we had an apple and you all ate it and women I didn't and now none of you remember eating said apple and everyone thinks it's Apple Day and it's not. Okay. I don't know what to tell you

except that it's Apple Day and they're full of vitamins. Red stands up straight and like quietly folds the piece of paper. Fine. Red, are you okay? Wonderful. Thank you. That was sound sarcastic. How dare you? I don't want an apple.

I don't want to eat anything in this town. I'll drink from my own supplies. And eat from my own supplies. And Red sits down, regrettingly next to the door. Listen, Red, look, are you okay? Did you sleep all right last night? I slept wonderfully. And yes, this whole apple thing is thrown me for a loop.

But, uh, look, how can I convince you? You'll believe Wim, don't you? Well, I'm not really, I mean, she's a young, impressionable woman. How can I really confirm what she's trying to tell us for sure? Whim shoots you a really dirty look. Sorry, okay. What do you think the true use of the paper is? What? I don't know.

Well, you discovered it. So you must know it, or the paper's lying, an unreliable paper. I don't know. Red pulls it the paper again and lays it out. It says Red solves a mystery. The true use of the paper is that I'll probably solve a mystery. Last night it said I discovered what the paper's use is, and I did. Right, so when, but it said you discovered it before.

Before you discovered it or after you discovered? Once I bled on it, it said I discovered it. So I guess bleeding on it was discovering it. It's a low bar, apparently. Yeah, I guess Discovers doesn't necessarily mean it understands. You know what? That's true. But you're going to solve a mystery.

I haven't solved one yet. The mystery of the apples. That's the mystery. All right. So maybe it's... Doren picks up this piece of paper and, you know, inspects it closely and even licks the blood. Oh, Doren. He would.

Oh, Doren, you don't know where I've been. Yeah. It is blood. You are well-versed in the tastes of blood, and this, this is blood. Yeah. Gross. He's not lying about that much. Okay, look, we've no need to the for a long time, right?

A few months at least. Sure. Long enough. Just entertain the possibility that I'm telling the truth. What's the worst that could happen? I totally am. I'm with you. Yeah.

What do you want to do about it? Let's see if anybody else also doesn't remember Apple Day. Two kids enter the tap room at this moment. Like them! Red points. And they spot you immediately. Are they the kids that we forgot to get the medicine for? These are the kids that you met on the road yesterday.

Ah, you made it safely. Uh, we were looking everywhere for you guys. Oh yeah, we were looking everywhere for you too. Non-stop. Did you find the backpack? We did. It's up in my room. I'll be right back and get it.

It's definitely all there and I didn't go through it. Red leaves the table. I imagine Red upstairs in like a CCTV shot of Red, like putting all the stuff back in the back back. Was this hay in the backpack? I don't know. There's like a pillow from the room. It's just a collection of soup and chickens and paper and everything else.

Everything else Red is like, I don't feel attached to this. It must be a belong to that. You had this live chicken, didn't you? A bathroom. So, how did it go with the bandits? Really, um... Problem solved, I think. Really well.

It was a nice, innocent discussion that we had. Are they going to bother us on the way back? I don't think so. No. No, they won't. No. One guy won't. We made sure that they promised, and so they went to water deep.

Thank you guys so much. And that chariot was so cool to ride on until it dumped us into the ditch. Well, hey, listen, it fades out. You just got to get practice on using it as it slowly disappears. It's a... My ribs are only somewhat bruised. Well, you made good time, though. Red runs back down into the room carrying the Jansport backpack and, you're like, here it is.

The bandits might have put some other random trinkets in there accidentally because they didn't know what was yours and what was theirs. So if there's some weird stuff in there, like arrowheads. or Foxfur, then just ignore it. And he hands the backpack over it. What weird bandits. Yeah, they were weird. They were interesting. Yeah, but at least you don't have to worry about the one that Mari killed.

And Barbie kicks red really hard for me. I mean, that wasn't the thing that they told you while I was upstairs. They said other things. Well, we listen. I killed a sense of self, and now he's going to live a much better life trying to be a different person. Yeah. Yeah, stain on the ground.

Adults have a weird way of describing things, kids. Yeah, it's like, I was learning about the innuendo. Yeah, it's that. Right. I don't know what that would mean. That's the lesson right after ego death, actually. Metaphor. Pathetic fallacy.

Anyway, thanks. Thank you so much. We're going to go to the Lion Shield, Costa. The lady there said she would cut us a really good price. Wonderful. Did you guys eat an apple yesterday? What do you mean? Once you got into town, did you have an apple? No, we haven't eaten since we left home.

Oh, God. Good, don't eat apples. The poisonous. I did hear that it's Apple Day, though. And you heard that today. Red rolls his eyes and, like, nudges whim to roll her eyes. Yeah, I mean, there's a bushel outside with a sign on it. Gotcha. I think some of those are maybe a little weird here,

and Mari gives them some of the bread that she got, that her and Red got from the woman I think they're weird apples? Yeah, they're poisonous. Don't eat them. What? Yeah. I don't think they're poisonous. I think that they...

All apples are poisonous. Don't eat them. Don't listen to him. Just these ones... Don't do it. They've been using some sort of... Maybe a... Poison.

...spell to keep bugs off of them. They can make your stomach feel weird. Poison. Here, eat this bread instead. Okay, bye, lady. Bye. Bye. Sorry, Mari.

I didn't mean to put my foot in it. I honestly thought you would have told them. I'm not... I'm not telling those kids. that I killed that guy. That's not something I'm proud of in that way. Okay, I'm sorry. I didn't know.

All right, let's keep that for another time and not tell children. Okay. And we'd like turn and the bartenders be standing right next to the whole time between us. Hey! What about this guy? Should we kill him?

No, no. Does he know too much? No, just leave it. Let him eat an apple. It'll be fine. Are you behind Apple Day, Mr. I don't think you can hear me. No.

I was whispering. Oh, was it a stage whisper? I don't know, was you at you? I never want to impose on groups of adventurers. It's a real skill for Barkeeps to learn, is to... It's a knowing whisper. Yeah, exactly. Say, where do all these apples come from?

Oh, that's, you know, when I think too hard about it, I kind of get like a ringing in my ears. See? Red points to the guy's face and like gestures to the other three. That's not normal. You don't remember yesterday me telling you all that, I was right and you was wrong? That's every day.

I do remember yesterday that you had a bell and it seemed to do weird things around magic stuff. If there was something weird around apples, let's ring the bell and see what happens. Hey, that's a good idea. Red pulls out the bell from his little belt. I'm with you. I want to help you solve this mystery. Thanks, Boddy. Red puts his hand on your shoulder.

Are you taller than yesterday? I don't think so, but thanks for looking up to me. I think maybe the boots I added a couple inches. Not from yesterday. Murray, every day is jacking them up a liar. She adds another platform to the bottom. Doran's like not quite fully awake yet. And he hears all this conversation and confusion.

And he sort of turns back and he's like, I'm just going to eat my breakfast. Of apple porridge and apple steaks and apple stew. He did say that he ate an apple, though. I'm marking it down as eaten. Yeah, Red pulls out his bell from his bell belt and rings it. Yeah, a strange mist rises up from the ground and swirls around your feet. And then Red grabs an apple and tosses it in the air, like a little juggle.

Do you catch it again? He doesn't, no, he doesn't even try. Steps back unless it falls. It's a fucking grenade. Step back. Who knows what's going to happen? Dear God. It like stomps on it with viciousness.

like, gna. All eyes are on you in the bar as you ring a bell, throw an apple, and then viciously stomp it. Or they would be if the mist didn't cover him in a secret. There's no strange after effects or images in the fog. Mari tries to use shape water

to make this mist freeze. To try to pull the water. See if it's, is it actual water or is it some other component? Oh, no. Will we all turn into a block of ice? Well, it's just basically just grabbing the moisture from the mist. Weird.

To try to get at least like a small area of it to freeze. Like basically just right underneath her chair. Try to hide it from all the people who are staring at red as he stomps an apple into the ground. Viciously. Yes. Mari, as you begin to cast shape water, the mist around you begins to almost royal and bubble. surrounding you in these concentric circles. Wow, whoa, whoa.

All right, something here. Maybe doesn't like that I'm doing that. I think it's just a magic mist belt. Does it pull to any of our magic items or the Paper Run Reds belt in any way? I think, Jack, you can probably put it together at this point that it has to do with, like, the recent use of magic.

What are you thinking, Jack? I'm not sure that I've cracked exactly what somebody was going to use that, for yet, but we'll put that as one column of mystery. We've got the page in another column and apples in a third. And that's, I'm just trying to sort of lay out the avenues of inquiry in front of us. I like it. Red tucks the belloway. And as the mist clears turns to Jack, hey, I like this new Jack, this helping me solve this mystery jack. Hey, the masked bandit of Waterdeep. What's his name again? Well, it's a secret, red. No, I mean, like, is that the title of the book, The Masked Bandit of Waterdeep?

many books. Well, yeah, there's so many books, and his title does have to change. I think it's the Shadow Thief of Waterdeep is the series that Torren was into. Yeah. Oh, no. Is that a sore memory for Jack? He only read them because they were Torin's favorites, and now he's a little choked up about it. That's right.

The Shadow Thief of Waterdeep. What's his partner? His buddy's name? Yeah, his partner. Well, he was never without his little Fran Torbo. Torbo the powerful wizard, right? Yeah, it can be Torbo that. Let's tell our own story about Torbo the powerful wizard.

Yeah, the tall, handsome, newly single, and conquering the world, Torbo, the handsome wizard, the partner to the shadow. Oh. You're each thinking that you're the shadow of people. Oh, you think you're the... Oh. Yeah. Oh. It's called Red solves a mystery.

Oh. What do we... You know what? We are Reds Rovers. We don't need no shadow thieves from anywhere. Totally. Right? We can solve problems.

We're, people would look up to us for our adventure abilities, right? I just figured, you know, like, no. Like classic dynamic is that, you know, the partner is the smart one and then the bold one is sort of the, you know. Well, right. But the sort of escapist fantasy of why you'd want to self-insert,

project yourself to be something you weren't. And that might be why you were. But, you know, the sidekick is always the smart. Like the one who knows it all. Well, it depends what... How about we're both the shadow thief of water deep then? You know, sure. Yeah, for today, you know that...

Unless you want to be bred and I'll be Jack and we could roleplay that way. Dorn, you want to be Mari for a bit? See how that feels? No. No thanks. Dorn finishes his breakfast and he turns around and he hops off his, his bar stool and

hmm thank you very much Vermilia Hein for that delicious breakfast that was tasty say I don't know what you guys are on about with these little tricks and whatnot you got from Miko but let's be honest

here when you find a goblin selling you wares on the side of the road don't be surprised if you're going to catch a few little tricks in that bag you know and listen I'm going to go back to the to the mayor's house if you're all welcome to join

Yeah, I want to figure out what's going on with this town. Get to the bottom of this mystery around why this place hasn't seen any attention from giants. Well, Jack and I got to solve this apple problem. It's a bigger one, and Doran, you ate it. You should be worried. Listen, Red, I got to tell you, the joke is over. I didn't have any apples, and you could stop pretending like I did. You just ate one now.

He's eating an apple as he's saying this. Well, I'm not, but I meant yesterday. this apple is delicious and what is the mystery about this apple? Look, I have destiny. Red pulls up the paper again and it says, Red solves a mystery okay? And I'm going to do that with my trusty bud, with

the other shadow thief of Waterdeep Jack. It's damn right. And whim. And Mari if you want to come. Or do you want to do Doran's weird thing? Well, it's not a bad thing. Somebody probably should go with him if he's did you mean the constable you were going back to or were you going to go find a mayor?

Well, I'm going to get to the bottom of all I first find out if that constable is the mayor. Jackson's got pleading eyes at Mari to be like, maybe we've tag team this one. You want to help? Yeah. Wim pops out from underneath the table where she'd been going through Red's bag of holding.

She's cut some holes in like an old cloak of his and wrapped it around her head to make like a mask with eyes. Tobo! And she found a spyglass and a couple of other. like mystery hunting pieces of equipment and um she's very proudly brandishing them hell's yeah did you make a mask for me whim and whim looks down sad like no but then she starts to um move the scissors close to the bag of holding like i can get a hole in it whoa whoa no hold on before you cut that give let me let me try and jack pulls out his staff for a minute and concentrates some magic through it and from it

a disguise flows over all three of us, and we turn into perfect representations of the shadow thief of Waterdeep. Just his exact phantom art where he can make himself look like multiple people. Now we are the mirror images of the phantom thief. Wow! Holy crap! I love that all three of us are like wearing the same costume.

Yes. You know what I mean? Just with like red snoot sticking out and like whims like a little shorter. So Marie's just in there like, I don't get an outfit? All right. Oh, sorry. Wim slides a handmade mask across the table at you. She doesn't need it anymore.

It's almost better, Marie. It's made with love. Yours made with love too, Jack. I'm just trying to help, Marie. She can definitely, like, smell that it's one of Red's old cloaks. She just sticks in her pocket. All right, come on, boys. We've got a mystery to solve.

To the streets! And Red runs out the front door of the tavern. Jack makes sure to flip his cape over his face as he runs out just to, you know, give it the full flare. Wim tries to open the window so that she can go in the window and she can't do it so she follows Jack out the door. Well, I guess I'll make my way to the constable. Do you want to flip your cape or something? Do you want a dramatic exit? Do you want me just to whistle a little so you can have some exit music or something? or are you good?

Oh, well, you can come with me if you'd like, Marie. They'll come with you. And with that, Dorn and Mari, you head out into Westbridge to see if you can find some answers. Thank you to our courageous patrons. Thank you to our courageous patrons, Adam Frey,

April A.K. Trash Panda. Allison Wrights. Alicia Andrews. Alicia D. Manna Nicole. Amanda Romano. Anna Lena.

Athalogoth. Axel? Beanboy Gav. Bird. Bob. Caspian. Charles. There's a lot of these.

Christopher. Sidate. Colin Burckhardt. Couch, Crow, David Shaw, Dippity, DJ, Eldrich Unicorn, Emerson Forsberg, Erin Lightning, Fjord, Fuvulcrum, Gabby, Tau, Gareth Bradshaw, Haley, Harpo the Marks, Izzy, J.D., Josh Gulloo. Joshua Nance Joy Robinson K.M. Karen DeLay. Cass. Keith Adelae. Kelly Folds. Lambda. Letta J. Lickrott. Liz. Lorelei Feldman. Manderpants. Merrick's Moon. Mulinda Curly Merlin

Michaela Minty Mizra Moon Nibia Guiga Nicky Knox the Nightshark Oakland

Okie-dokey Pan pinch of peppers Queen Rabida Naz cheese Regan Mortis Riot Rowan Ruth Ann Reed Trent Scottie seer of time Shannon Waldner S ray 96 stab sunny tea kettle ulysses vol control waffle 427 zander morning dove Zephyrus and Zill

Elizabeth. So see you next time. Thanks for listening.