Dice Shame - 2-121 | 'Lesser Evil'

Episode Date: December 19, 2024

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Where do they come from? I'm glad you're all right, friends. So you live alone over there? Carefully sick. Oh, come on now. Yeah, lay it on me. Why don't you, come on, tell us the whole story. We're all friends here.

Better have a plan. I don't know why you did that, and now I feel a little strange. He can handle it. We're adventurers, damn it. Take a little look around. You know, you can obviously change your looks. Jack could be so me! If ever there was a time to reinvent yourself.

I left for five minutes. Look, don't cave to peer pressure. Stay righteous out there. And, uh, hit me up in Trolskull Manor. Welcome back to Dyshame. This is Season 2, Episode 121, Lesser Evil. MVP this week is Rotten Little Flea, who has contributed some amazing Dyshame fan art to our Discord. Warg.

Good God, y'all. Thanks for joining us, Flee. You are this week's MVP. All right. Shall we do this? Yeah, let's play some dungeons and dragons. Oh, woo! Everybody's favorite food is pizza.

And I'm not going to accept any discussion on that point. Because it's true. Your X-Men power is weird. If you were a pizza topping, what pizza topping would you be? And why? Hmm. And this has to be a deeply personal, soul-searchingly, truthful answer. Totally.

Pepperoni. Yeah? Pepperoni. Okay. Pepperoni is delicious and very popular, just like Harlan. Done. My reason. I have a lot of reasons why I wouldn't be anything else.

Like, I'm not a vegetable. I'm not a fucking fruit for sure. I'm not pineapple and I don't like ham bacon and cheese is kind of on everything and I'm not a slut like that I'd be a mushroom I'm a fun guy yeah

I'm a bunching for that one yeah I'm pepperoni because I'm on a lot of them and everyone likes me everybody pepperoni is the charismatic well not everyone likes pepperoni but most people that are intelligent Two, one.

Wow. Wow. Shots fired. Are you going fun guy? No. No. I'm still thinking about it. Well, I mean...

It's a hard question. It's not actually too far off. I mean, mushrooms, they have some substance. You know, have some substance. They're not really everybody's taste. Just like me. I think you're more fun than that. I think you're like bacon or something.

I think you're something that makes everything better. That's kind of bad for you. That's, you know, like. See, something like bacon. No, see, bacon is like people, people really like bacon. I feel people can, you know, take or leave me. Really? I think you're pretty affable, dude.

I think you're, you enhance. Maybe you're a seasoning. People let's just wander into their house sometimes. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, people just let you wonder into their house. Chili flakes. Maybe Alex is chili flakes. What's your opinion on bacon, Alex?

My opinion on bacon is that it's over, overhyped. But do you personally like it? I love bacon, absolutely, yeah. But I don't like bacon because everybody fucking loves bacon and putting fucking bacon on everything. I only like bacon because it's trendy. I'm a bacon scenester. That's right.

I have bacon with gloss and that's it. I don't even have it in the fridge. It adds good flavors. It does. It's delicious. So what are you, Rob and yourself? What do you think, Alex? For myself or for you?

Yeah, for yourself. Joke answer. We can't. A sign. Joke answer is anchovies because I'm very salty and most people don't want me around. No. That's awesome. Trala la la.

No, I'm going to go with hot honey, like spicy honey. Okay. I like that answer Why is that representative of you? Trying to think Because you like it on pizza And I like it on pizza, it's good It's delicious

I love hot honey I don't know, you don't need a lot This is fucking debate club here You have to defend your choice What's yours then? Me? Yeah I don't know yet

I'm trying to think it's It's a common debate Team topic Okay I've got one the jalapeno pepper a bit spicy not for everybody but you know

and people people like me they like me oh yeah I really struggled to answer the question in a single answer because I think I can think of

some friend groups I'm in where I'm the cheese and I'm there holding everybody together I can think of some some places where I'm surrounded by people I just want to be the sauce

something everybody expects nobody's thinking about it twice other friend groups Maybe I'm the spicy pepper that's a little bit different standing out doing something a little bit different. I don't think there's only one pizza topping that I am. But I do think they're different in different groups. Oh, then I say that answer too. You have to.

I'm everything as well. Yeah, but where are you the cold cuts on pizza, Rob? Where am I, Saskatchewan? Like a hand. You're Seprasata. Yeah. You're Mordidella. Mordidella.

That sounds rude and you know it. I'm going to go basil. Baisal? Baisal? Yeah. I think. Classic, though. When you pair it right down, it's simple.

Essential. Yeah. It's not too, like, flashy, I guess. Not over-manipulated. It really highlights the ingredients that it's with. So I really like being the partner to, like, a pepperoni, we'll say. Yeah, because you honestly, yeah. Harlan's looking around like I'm insane right now.

You don't put pepperoni on a. I know. Maybe you have to be a but you can. You can. So I have to change. You have to change so that I can help you.

You change to compliment me. Thank you very much. That's how this works. We're having margarita pizza tonight. It's interesting. I see almost everyone is different things

that they, than they picked. What do you see me as? You are absolutely an olive. I was going to say green olive. You're green olive. That's just because it's my favorite. Fucking Ner sal is a mushroom,

100% of mushroom. Wait, why am I a mushroom? Because you're a fun guy. You drink kimchi and you're funky and you, like, the weird sort of moral type aspect of the variety of mushrooms speaks to your earth nature. I do appreciate some moral and moral, like, double entendre there. It worked for me.

Guthry, Alex Guthrie is bacon, as you mentioned. No, Alex Guthrie is the only one I think, I would have said he's hot pepper rings, not jalapenia. I could see him doing those hot pepper and banana peppers. And I think Rob is bacon. Rob is bacon? I think you're bacon. I think you're delicious.

You make things better. I think everyone likes you. I think you're affable. I think you're consumable. Trendy as fuck. Do you guys see his glasses? Joe only likes you because you're trendy. I only like you because you're not trendy, okay?

And I'm an olive because they're my favorite. No, you're an olive because you're not everyone's cup of tea, but those who like you, like you a fucking ton because I think that's the olive generation. I love olives and we'll eat. with anything out of the jar and people who get you are like that they'll take you full force maybe harlan is the fresh garlic i want to go the other way who's a pineapple in your life henry oh yeah he really is he's a sweet lovable boy a little tart at times but he also fuck up your pizza no he loves it it's his favorite pizza too it'll fuck up our pizza sometimes

that's what i mean we'll order it anyway for him your basil pepperoni and and pineapple Jesus Christ, what a combo. I'm going to get a pizza with, yeah, pepperoni and pineapple, please. Yeah. It just with the olives in the jalapeno, I made me think of a friend of mine who likes olives, jalapeno, pineapple, pepperoni on a pizza. And it's better than it sounds. I put pickles on my pizza, so.

I do that every single time, actually, Rob. I put garlic on it. Garlic is great. That exact mix with maybe feta. I like a good anchovy and green olive pizza. Yes, anchovy, green olives, and bacon is my ultimate pizza. Don't salt on it, please. It sounds great, but I've never had a chance to have a pizza with like a real, honest-to-god

fish just sitting on it. I'm dying for that Ninja Turtle pizza one day. It's the good shit. Get there. Guys, I was thinking, maybe just let's not do Dungeons & Dragons tonight. We'll just order a pizza party? Yay! Ninja Turtle, ninja turtle.

I'm going to fucking Uber eats each of you a pizza. Alambunga, let's do it. Okay, bye. Oh, no, mn-a-m-a-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-h-mm. Oh, my God, that was the most delicious pizza. That pizza was delicious. All right, should we play D&D? Let's do it.

Yeah, let's do it. I'm so glad that you guys are all in my belly. Having vanquished the trolls and ogres that were attacking the Riverside Cottage, our heroes have barely a moment. moment to dust themselves off before a soggy-looking man drags himself up the riverbank towards you. A man that Kieran has just informed you is a monster in disguise. Whoa. Oh boy. Thank you all for taking such quick action against the monsters that threatened my homestead. How can I repay you for your help.

Well, Doran strides up next to Jack, and he sort of looks up and down, and in his best acting, looks over at the house and sort of does like a pretend survey. Yeah, that seems like you're a little overrun by those ogres and trolls. Where do they come from? I have no way of knowing. I would offer you a hot meal, but we have so little after the hardship of winter. So you live alone over there? No, my wife and I.

Well, why don't we go over and you can introduce us to your wife and we can sit down and have a proper meal? We've been on the road. And, you know, we can help you kind of put together some of the, put back together some of the broken parts of your home. Obviously, that would appeal to you. No, no. No, no, no, that's just fine here.

And he walks a couple more steps towards you and he brushes off his hands of the mud and he holds one out to you, Jack. The name is Callum. Callum, huh? Jack shakes his hand to try and keep up appearances. Carefully sick. Mari's in the background just watching.

Mari, Doran, and Jack. And now Red, who's moved closer. I want you all to make a wisdom saving throw with advantage. Hmm. Hmm. Wisdom.

What the hell is that? Mari? 18. Jack? 23. Doran? And 11. And red?

Seven. Oh, no. Oh. Doran and Red you are charmed by this person and whether or not you believe them to have another form you regard them as a friendly acquaintance god damn marie and jack you recognize that there has been an attempted spellcast on you put her there friend and dorin reaches out a hand i'm glad you're all right friend and red shakes his hand vigorously he claps you on the back

It's good to see some friendly faces around here. Hey, Redd? Oh, absolutely. Looks like we caught just in the nick of time. Yeah. You know, Red, you're a giant expert. I had a question for you just while we're talking about this attack. Yeah, laid on me. What kind of giant creature do you know of can turn invisible, change their shape, and try to charm the people it's talking to? Does that ring any bells for you? Oh, I don't know. I don't know either, but it sounds awfully.

Yes, Maris shoes Jack, like this very brief look, like her eyebrows kind of shoot into her hair, just like, what are you doing? Better have a plan. Could be any of them, Jack. I mean, there's so many giants. I mean, cloud giants have magic, you know, even stone giants have meld with stone. You know, those specifics are a little odd, but none of them turned invisible. They were mainly trolls, I think. The man slings an arm around.

your neck red in a casual camaraderie kind of embrace yeah and red like looks at his new friend and then just to jack and i don't know he's a little little strange that one to uh doran and red certainly seems just very jovial and to marie and uh jack want to join our adventure party no i must really insist that you go on your way i've tarried long enough here you've tarried long enough by the riverbank. Of course, of course. You have to see to your family inside. You take good care of them.

No, no, no. We can possibly leave you alone now. I'd love to go in and see your home. I like that. Let's go in and I'll have a cup of tea. I comes over and she goes, you know, I am a healer. It sounds like there is such stress,

so much stuff happening to the house. I would love to take a look at what's going on inside. Guys, come on. Look, he's clearly capable. I don't think we need to stop and fix up a house. Right, Jack? You're always talking about us. you know, getting the job done, let's move on.

Well, and... He can handle it. Especially when you already had guests over, because there's two people in the house already. Who else is over there? My wife and son. Oh, your family. Oh, how lovely.

I wonder if they're just as charming as you. I knew you were a family man. I'd love to meet them. Please, please, have us in. I feel like I've met my new best friend. You know, what a weird feeling really, like, knowing something's wrong, but, like, just not being able to shake it? I really must insist

You go on your way Of course, of course Insist or not, my friend And Doran sort of places a hand on his shoulder And like really does one of those nice Massagey, touchy-feely Like, no, come on now Don't be shy, we're friendly, we're friendly, right?

Don't leave him alone, let's go, come on guys, he's fine, Red starts like walking away Come on, let's go We want to leave? Well, of course we want to leave Our new friend? Well, he's a lovely man But he can take it from here

Maury still has starry form active She shifts it over into the dragon form Although the colors are wrong And the consolation keeps shifting Like she's trying to concentrate on it And she goes, you know what I'm just going to take a little look around We've fought so many orcs and trolls

Maybe getting a little bit of a view from up above And I'll just scout ahead Oh you mean down the road? Yeah, down the road I'm just going to float over to the other side of the river Oh sure Have a little flap over I mean sure

I guess I'll get the horses then Red like walks off to get the horses You might as well yeah Mari's gonna scoot over to the other side Red goes off into the woods Maybe 90 feet Mari goes across the river You fly across the river

I might as well use these wings While I still got them at it Yeah absolutely Doren you are super happy Just hanging out with this dude Jack's staring daggers at Callum and lets the wall of force

drop around the house as he concentrates his power into his staff again and looks the man right in the eyes and says you know since we're all being so charming and friendly here why don't you tell us

what's really going on as he tries to plant that suggestion into the creature's mind magically and I think Doran naively agrees yeah tell us what's going on

yeah How's the wife and kids? What do you do for work? If he could make me a wisdom saving throw. That's a 13. That's not going to do it. Callum looks at you with kind of resignation in his eyes, and he says, oh, I'm trying to get you alone, of course.

Why is that? Well, you'll see. Come on, tell us the whole story. We're all friends here. Yeah, tell us. Orvin, friend, would you mind, please? I just... No, he's too...

I need to get some time alone with... Sorry, what was your name, sir? Me? Isn't it funny, Doren, that you're best friends, but he doesn't know your name? No. No, no, no. I mean, you, the half-elf. I just... Doren, please.

Well, I'm going to start by telling you what I think's going on, which is you're a shape-shifting giant who can turn invisible. Oh. And I think you should really just tell us what the hell you're doing, attacking this town. We need to make a report to Waterdeep. We want to list all the details, so why don't you spill him? Oh.

There's no town under attack. There was just an attack on this lovely little cottage in the woods. There is one of several giants missing. My familiar happened to see the creature turn invisible, become you, swim across under the river into that boat. Come over here. Fess up already. Jack, I think you're being a bit rude. What do you mean, giant?

I mean, even if he is a giant in disguise, I mean, come on, Jack, we've met friendly giants before. What makes you not trust this kind, friendly, charismatic individual? Because Kieran saw him attacking the house and now he's lying to us. Attacking. We're adventurers, damn it, Doran. Get your head in the game. Don't let this thing charm you. This is a good practice. A charm. To be quite honest, as I'm strangely compelled to be right now.

Yeah, I am a giant. But I didn't attack any of those people. See? I feel like at this point Red walks back with the horses. Come on, guys, come on. All right, we're ready to go yet or what? Oh, we're about ready to go, but I'm confused. It's okay, Dolan. And he sort of turns to Red.

You're turning this on a technicality, Callum. Tell me you weren't with those dead trolls and ogres over there trying to tear this house apart. Tear? What do you think Callum was trying to tear the house apart, Jack? What are you talking about? Red, your friend Jack, has just... uncovered my secret. Which is?

That I am an evil giant. You're evil? Red walks right up to him. You son of a bitch. Jack! You can't just let things be! Don't worry, Callum.

He also hated me for a long time because I killed people as well. I've killed a lot of people. Me too. Red throws his arms around the guy. I'm right there with you. Jack could be so mean. As Callum is hugging you, he transforms back into his normal form.

Oh, wow. Which is like very large, dark blue-skinned, yellow-eyed giant with a thousand needle-sharp teeth and long black claws. And he's just holding you in an embrace for a minute. Poor guy. Red tapping the back of his like butt, I guess. I don't know how tall you is. He's very tall. Imagine not being able to be yourself, Jack.

That's some real strength there to show your true form. I have to say, I agree. And then the giant just looks over his shoulder at you. Doran jumps into the group hug. There, there, let it all out. I know what it feels like. Oh, me too. Trying to hide your true feelings.

I have something to tell you. You promise you won't be mad. won't be mad he might be mad red points at jack but we won't be mad no i won't be mad either and the creature looks over red's shoulder at you jack and it gives you an unreadable expression marie you are hovering somewhere over this cottage wood smoke blowing in your face and you spot across the river your companions having a tender moment it looks like with a blue giant what oh she floats down and kind of looks in the windows to see if anything seems like truly a miss like is anybody like bleeding out and dying on the ground in there no it doesn't seem like anyone is terribly worse for their

where they're definitely shook up and there's like a barricade they've sort of pushed their bed and a cabinet against the door and they seem like unsure if everything's done or not. I'm sure that another blue-faced person at their window will do great, but she knocks in the window and gives the thumbs up. Yeah, yeah. The lady goes, ah! I'm sorry, I think it's fine. I think it's fine. I have to go

back over there and deal with whatever fresh hell is happening, and she turns around and flies back over watching Red and Doran sob in whatever this creature's arms as they all have a big like soppy pile of feelings

and she goes and lands beside Jack and looks at him and goes, I left for five minutes and it appears that things have spiraled madly out of control, so I'm going to need a little bit of catching up here. You're not going to believe this, Mari. Callum wanted to catch her up.

I admit that I charmed you. I was just afraid that it wasn't going to be able to... I knew it. Be accepted. it by you.

It's okay. I don't blame you. Do you want a, do you want a kerchief? No, no, I got him. Don't worry. Red reaches in the bag of holding and pulls a giant handkerchief that he found in the cloud giant's castle. You can use mine. Thanks, Red.

It's like echoes through the valley. Well, as I was saying, uh, there, there's a big gangage roll. and ogres and I thought that I would only be safe from them if I was in their gang because, you know, people like us, we don't like the littler ones, you know, and if you're not strong and tough, they might kill you. Gang violence and februin is the worst. It's a hard time to be a giant out there. Yeah.

Promise that you're not going to hate, hate me if I stop charming you? I promise I would never hate you. Yeah, you can stop charming me any time. I think my feelings are genuine. And then Red and Doran, the charm falls from your brain. And you realize that you're hanging out with a weird blue giant. In the spirit of cooperation, Jack dismisses his suggestion that this guy tell us what's going on as well. He holds an embarrassed hand over his mouth.

No, no, don't. I think I like you even more now. Red squeezes him tighter. Uh-huh. Yeah. Jack, do you want to get on to the group hug? What's, what's happening here? Is this...

Come on in, Jack. No, no, stay away from me. No, no, you are worthy of love. You are worthy of love. No, I've done some bad things in my life. Hey, hey, you listen to me. You listen to me. Giant or human, it doesn't matter.

We have encountered some wonderful giants, and we have encountered some terrible giants, and it looks like we've encountered a giant that's caught in the me. middle between doing what's right and what he has to do to survive and we would be terrible adventurers and terrible people if we didn't embrace your want for change if we didn't embrace you is the kind of shining example that all gianthood should be jack is he still charmed no dorin sort of backs up and like stops crying and wipes his face and he's like um

Um, well, I'm, I have to say I'm glad you, uh, I'm glad you're friendly. I'm just, uh, I don't know why you did that and now I feel a little strange, but I'm glad that, uh, I'm glad we're all here. Like, like, like Red said. Um, yeah. Hey, look, look, the giant reordening is a crazy thing, but it's obviously affected everything. I can't imagine what it would be like if there was a. humanoid reordining and all of a sudden all the tabaxies were up for grabs. I get it. I feel like

there's a bit of an understanding here. You're caught in the middle. I get it. If ever there was a time to reinvent yourself and take a step in a new direction, this is it. Hell yeah. But unless you want to join us again, office still stand. Let's rove as Troll Skull Manor hit me up.

I was just going to say Trollscall Manor you know, maybe you need some time in the city as a... Send him to Trollscul as a... You approaches. Giant kill it No Do you think I could

Live in a city ever? I've never seen a giant in Waterdeep But you could be the first You get a shirt I think that would help first Shirt and shoes A shot? Look, you could do it for sure

You're not the only giant Who's ever been in Water Deep I'll tell you that much If you went in peacefully And you know You know that And it's true I mean what they're saying

But you know You can obviously change change your looks and not that you shouldn't be yourself but you know you probably would not scare as many people if you went in looking like you know one of us or like more of a smaller creature that you know with less sharp teeth uh just saying hey that's true you can look like anybody you want yeah just make them look exactly like jack and walk away like thank you You know, I never really considered my human form to be something that I could just use. Like, live with?

Yeah. Hey, we all wear masks. Well, look, embrace your giant hood. All I'm saying is, you know, all we're all saying here is, there's a lot up in the air right now and, you know, try to hurt less people. In fact, we just encountered a bunch of bandits the other day that we gave the same pep talk to. Some of them didn't hear, and they got ripped apart by. trees but you seem to be receptive to the message and I think that that could be a good start

maybe you could be a shiny example to other types of your car what kind of giant are you by the way uh I'm an ony and a what has her it's an ony child the only one kind of like a blue magicy sort of giant oh I know the onies yes yes I mean you had me a blue in magic she gives she goes to give a little fist bump got a lot of common yeah he gives you a fist with his giant, terrible clawed hand. It's fine. It's scary.

Look, don't cave to peer pressure. Stay righteous out there and, uh, hit me up in Tralskill Manor. Do you guys know of any, like, uh, like ruins or anything nearby that I could like hide in for a while? Yeah,

holes up the hunting axe is just down that way. I'll, uh, I'll take a look. Yeah, take a look. It's a wonderful place. Uh. Listen, Callum, I'm going to send you a letter in a couple of weeks to check up on you. I hope you're going to change your life around a little bit. Yeah, stick on the street and narrow, all right? Find some good friends. I want to. I promise they do. Make good decisions. Stick to

livestock. Yeah, don't join another gang. Like, why are we coming up against so many gangs? How hard is this not to join? Because these giants are all struggling to find their way in this new world. It makes sense. They need to band together to survive. Aren't we all? Yeah, no, you find a group and yeah you uh you find some meaning there yeah like one of you is like the ginger spires and one of you's like the sporty spires one of you gets worms in your belly again like it just works yeah totally works how do we on this though well see ya ah okay see you around bye bye good look bye bye bye good good to have met you bye glad you're not evil here's your horse and here's your horse and the party continues on their

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