Dice Shame - 2-130 | 'Dearly Departed'

Episode Date: February 20, 2025

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I know you want to take all the credit for finding this place. So we found it. Do we turn back and go get the rest of the dwarves to come back now? I don't know what we're up against here. I know quite a bit. They're actually one of my favorite enemies. Be careful, Red. We're just gonna light some fires instead of firework. It feels mealy mouth. I'd have one round to get in and out.

I don't know if I like the idea of you going in alone. I just don't think that's how the magic works. They probably don't pose any harm. He is gonna musterate. Can't help but have this image, though, of the five of us crawling up to the back entrance. of this yak village, like, with this hilariously, like, yak-skin thing over top of us trying to pass off as yaks. A Trojan yak?

Welcome back to Dyshame. This is Season 2, Episode 130, Dearly Departed. MVP this week is Erica. Erica is a dear friend of ours, and the entire reason for giving her MVP this week is to bully her into listening to the show. Hey, it worked for Malevolent. We love you, Erica, you crazy, wonderful person.

You're this week's MVP. You're the best. All right, shall we do this? Yeah, let's play. Some D&D. Oh, yeah, baby. You set off. Off from Citadel Fellbar, having spoken to General Chaos Hammer about the fire giant problem,

first taking the tunnels through the Rauvin Mountains, and then heading north and east into the chilly spring valleys, traveling for a total of five days. North of the Silver Marches is a range of towering snow-covered mountains known as the Ice Spires. The great dungeon forge of iron slag is apparently under the one known to dwarves as Mount Hammerhaust, or Hammer of Ashes. You found your way here partly thanks to Red's primeval awareness marking the area as a hotspot for humanoid and giant activity, and also partly thanks to the rod of the Vonendod pinging the area of the mountain ranges as a place with a massive quantity of forged adamantine. Not some huge wonder, considering that you are able to see a pair of 50-foot-tall adamantine doors set into the mountainside before you. As you come upon them now, the doors are closed and all seems quiet.

I imagine you've kept a nice healthy distance between your position and these doors. A healthy distance. Red has positioned the group far enough away. way that his eagle eye can kind of still see the doors, you know, at a distance. And he turns to the others. I kind of imagine we're either kind of in an outcropping of trees or maybe on the edge of a forest. Doran stands there sharpening his axe and he says primarily looking at Jack and Red. I know you want to take all the credit for finding this place. But the reality is I kind of already knew it was going to be around here. So, oh, totally, Doren. Yeah, you, you pointed that mountain long ago and said it's somewhere in that mountain. So we found it. Do we turn back and go get

the rest of the dwarves to come back now? I think we should watch for just a little bit, just a few hours, maybe until nightfall. We camp out here, give me a position to scout a little bit ahead, maybe 100, 200 feet in that direction, red sort of points to the edge of the tree. We hang out here, you guys hang back, and, you know, we see what kind of patrols come and go. And if there's no movement, and we figure out what happens. But who knows, for all we know, they could be marching in and out of there every few hours. And then there's always the potential that this is not the stronghold, but just an empty stronghold, and they've built something somewhere else.

So it would be good to see if there's actually some comers and goers. I mean, they've all got rods of the Von and Dodd, too, and there's a whole pile of adamantine here. Nobody's just going to leave that sitting. This is a treasure trove in a well-guarded place. Mari's sitting there and she's been sort of doodling in the ground with her dagger, just little, little symbols that you're even thinking, and she goes,

I don't know what we're up against here. I know quite a bit. They're actually one of my favorite enemies. I can tell you, based on our travels to the eye of the all feather, that, uh, they certainly like to try and enslave dwarves. You remember seeing that? Yeah, that chains

around the dwarves and everything. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It's, uh, it's true. There's a great history of horrifying. The fire giants taking, frankly, a lot of underlings as captives. Yeah, I think they have like a giant, some sort of blacksmithing thing in the basement of this stronghold.

Possibly. And on top of that, fire giants are excellent smiths, as well as technicians and architects. You know, other giants use their pure might and prowess, like the hill giants, you know, typically run out into battle, nothing but loincloths,

whereas the fire giants, they rely heavily on their weapons. In fact, yeah, the forge in there, if there is one, is going to be churning out a great deal of powerful weapons. Beyond that, obviously, there's a great number of other fire creatures that they tend to have allegiance with. We ran into a hellhound on the stonebridge. Quite dangerous creatures. There's only five of us.

That's right. As Mari says that, Red kind of shares a nervous look. look with Doran, a little eyebrow raise. I think if we wanted to think strategically about it, the Oracle at the spine of the world told us the conch that we're here to get is in the forge of the fire giant Duke in his quarters. So if we're thinking about that, you know, we just got to find where this guy sleeps and steal his conch.

Well, look, why don't you all hang here? I'll go scout ahead. Give me a few hours. Let's see where we lie. And I'll report back with what we got. Yeah, be careful, Red. I will, don't worry. And Red sort of slinks off to the tree line to watch the gates.

Red, you head off to Scout in the meantime. How far away is the party staying? How discreet are you being? Not very disturbing. We're just going to light some fires and set off fireworks and just have a time. I got a little harpsichord. We'll be very discreet, I think. I mean, I think for the first half hour that Reds out there,

we're probably not doing much but staying exactly where we are kind of hidden, right? I think it feels like he's going to take hours we might settle in for a little bit, but... Yeah. I feel like Jack and Doran especially would know this old school method of scouting. And maybe even once red leaves, Mari might be like waiting a little bit where the other two are like, oh, he's going to be a few hours. You know what I mean? Like this is kind of established, especially when we used to rely more on these tactics.

It feels more old school in that way. I don't think we should be lighting a fire anytime soon. We're a little too close for that. Yeah, it's always the first half hour, 45 minutes that are the worst. It feels like once he gets settled somewhere, you know, we'll take some time. But if he gets spotted on the wait in... Yeah.

Meanwhile, red, you slink away from the party. Red moves to the edge of the trees, using his armor to his advantage. I basically am invisible in the shadows, so he's finding the darkest parts of the trees and rocks and trying to just hang to them. Roll a stealth check for me, please. Happily.

24. And how close to the doors are you getting? Like 100 feet, probably. So you are staying 100 feet away from the doors? Yeah. Keeping to the periphery of the forest, I suppose. Yeah. Red, as you stealth your way along the edge of the trees and you find a good vantage point,

maybe 100 feet away from the doors, you're able to spend a little bit of time and gather a little bit of intel on this iron slag. Hmm. First of all, on the general area, you notice that... There's not really any snow on the ground or on the mountain side around the doors. It's all just bare rock and the earth seems to be very trampled. There's been some foot traffic in and out, it appears. Additionally, you notice that way up above, perched high atop on a mountain cliff,

hundreds of feet high, there seems to be a village. A line of rough-hewn steps clinging to the side of the mountain appears to climb in a straight line from somewhere off to the east and passes above the adamantine doors and all the way up to the village. How long do you spend here, Red? Five hours. That's some time. I mean, there's a stakeout. I feel like this is where Red excels, like staying perfectly still, watching. You know, he's like right up against like a branch or like a log, you know, with his snoot there and his hood pulled up.

He's like blended in. I was picturing like a pointer dog. He's like, there were five hours. He's just like, found him the giants over that way. Red, around hour three, you notice that a large flying creature appears to have made some kind of den about halfway up those stairs that I mentioned. as it arrives in the entryway and disappears. Do I recognize the creature? Roll a nature check for me.

Oh, 18. I think in true red fashion, you know of this creature, but you don't know the name that it's called here. You're just like, oh, it's a wibblety-wobledy. It's a gilden pen. A floppy-jabberwalk. It's a large. creature that has dragon wings, but it has three different heads.

Cool. It's got a dragon head, a ram's head, and a lion head. Oh. So that's around our three. Cool. You stick around, and just before you decide to head back to your friends, a rumbling of the ground betrays the entrance of a fire giant. coming from the east

and accompanied by two hellhounds on chain leashes. A fire giant approaches from the woods. And you watch from your hiding place as this fire giant approaches the doors and says something that you can't hear but red because you can read lips and you can speak giant you know that he says by suture's flame i command these doors to open and indeed the doors do open just wide enough to prevent the entrance of the giant and his hounds and then it closes behind him you hear the

a snap of a twig behind you, Red. And you turn around to see Wim. She's creeping through the underbrush towards you. Wimmy! Get down, come here. And she ducks underneath a frond of some fern and makes her way. Yeah, and Red sort of sneaks away from the edge of the clearing to get back to her. What are you doing here? You're supposed to stay back with the others.

She signs at you. I was worried. Are you okay? Yeah, back in the old days when it was just us three in Kralath, I used to do this entirely. I would sneak up a head and scout for hours, you know, getting a lay of the land. It's oddly where I find comfort still, in the old ways, you know, before there were teleportation circles and all that. She signs, that sounds exciting. Ah, it is. It is, you know. But what are you doing here?

she signs you'd been gone for a long time and i wanted to check up on you does it look dangerous yeah it looks dangerous look you don't need to check up on me if anything i should be checking up on you red sort of turns around i imagine there's like a stump with like a little sort of inlet in the ground and he sort of turns around and shimmies down a little bit so they're kind of well at a sight lines of the adamantine doors and he says you know when we go back at the house Pratt household, even though we spent a few days there, I didn't expect me to be there. And truth be told, I wanted a few days down so I could, well, I could talk to you about everything,

about what's happened, about your situation. What do you mean? Well, you mentioned, you know, a week ago or so that you only have two years to live. and doesn't that scare you? She signs, not really. Not really. Look, beyond why you only have two years to live, which I want to talk about, why doesn't that scare you?

You're young, you're only 16. I'm terrified of death every day. And her hands move in this language that you've come to now understand over the past few 10 days that you've spent with her. she signs everyone dies red i think i've been afforded a gift a gift how is this a gift because i get to know when it ends everything ends i guess yeah and i'm okay with that there are beginnings every day and there are endings and I'm not afraid. Are you? Yeah, I'm afraid.

It's scary to think that all this could be gone in a moment. But, Red, you've looked at death in the eye a thousand times. Has it never occurred to you that today could be your last? I guess I try not to think about it. You're an awfully wise girl. whim for being only 16. I envy you a little bit. I think having a hard life gave me the ability

to feel lightness about this. That's why I love every day. Redd reaches out a hand and sort of offers it to her. She takes it. Well, maybe you can help me. I have a tough time not thinking about that kind of stuff. I mean, don't get me wrong compared to the others. I'm ready to accept it, but that still doesn't mean I'm as ready as you seem to be,

so maybe I can lean on you for strength sometimes to deal with that. I'm sure we're going to deal with a fair amount of death before all this is done. Let's not worry about death. Red, let's worry about life. Fair enough. Red drops her hand. She pops back up over the rim of this tree stump and squints her eyes at the adamantine doors in the distance. Yeah, that's them.

I think maybe I could create an illusion or something, but I don't know yet. How are the others doing is Marie still a little distant? She sort of looks over her shoulder back towards where the others are hidden and gives you a non-committal shrug. I spoke to Doran. He's felt it too about her pulling away. Look, just let's not count on anybody else, okay? If we decide to go in there and things get sour, just count on me and I'll count on you and Doran. She puts her hand on your shoulder and then she signs. friends forever, like the wishing moon.

Hey, that's right. I couldn't break a wish like that if I wanted to. All right, let's head. Oh, and Red sort of checks his pockets, and just nervously. Oh, I just wanted to make sure I didn't drop anything. Don't want to lose anything important. All right, let's head back. And she nods.

Meanwhile, your party waiting in the forest has not been having just a chill, stakeout picnic while waiting for you. No. A raven arrives. This raven drops a letter at your feet and then just basically flies away immediately having done its task, maybe knowing that there is some dangerous winged creature in the area, as ravens tend to know many things. Shoot, get out of here, get out. What do you want to bet this is from the council again? Oh boy. Doren picks up the letter and reads it. Greetings, Reds Rovers. I have convinced the monarchy to unite against the common foe. And they will muster aid as soon as can be done in defense of the citadels and all dwarven kind.

Yes, King Morin and Queen Tithmel send their gracious thanks for your heroism and this time. Hey, how's that? Signed Chaos Hammer. Sounds great. Well, he's convinced them to unite, but mustering aid as soon as can be done. that feels mealy-mouthed. I mean, if, since we're waiting for red anyways, I can take an hour or two to at least send them both cities a map with the path we took here. So at least if we all die, they can find our corpses here.

That's a good idea. And I'm glad to hear that King Harneth has come out of the Y'old damn Farn. Mm-hmm. Red and Wim, you make your way stealthily back. through the woods toward the party. What was that bird dropping off? I caught the tail end of it. Little letter from Chaos Hammer.

Oh. Good news. He's going to muster aid, but not much else. He is going to muster aid. That means he's convinced the dwarves to help. I believe so. Wow. That's no small feat.

No. Good for him. That's what you wanted, right, Jack? I think it's a great idea. Um, I, you know, we've, we've taken some time. I've just about got a letter ready to go. to Citadel Fellbar to King Moran and Queen Tithmel and Citadel Adbar to King Harneth

just to at least give them we know they're at least five days away if something goes real wrong here, they're going to need all the information we've got now. At least they can get started if Chaos Hammer's ready to go. Of course. Anyway, I took a few hours, obviously, thanks for being patient, and took a look at the doors. Did you see anything?

Yeah, and Red relays what he saw in terms of the staircase. case in the village and also the flying creature and then says, and then I saw a fire giant approach with two hellhounds and he stood at the doors which only opened with a passcode, a phrase

spoken and luckily I am observant so I could read his lips and because I speak giant he said by Sartreth's flame I command these doors to open and that seemed to open so that's all I got there could have been more but do you recognize that creature Jack

I know my name for it in Mazdica, but the three heads, the bizarre-looking faces. I've heard it called a chimera. Chimera, right, right. We pronounce it chimera, that's why. In Mastika, it's chimera. What color was the dragon? It was violet blue.

Aren't you colorblind? You know I'm colorblind. I think colorblind is like... It's present when it's funny. It's present when it's funny and it's not when it's necessary. Because it's not a stat. Like, it's not actually... that your character's colorblind, but I think it's funny that, because some animals are.

So anyway, that's the gist of it. What do we think? Well, is there any reason to go up to the village, or we just open the gates and see what's down there, or do we wait for reinforcements? Well, the steps up to the village weren't giant-sized, so, I mean, obviously it's possible to the villages. What's those creatures that latch on the bigger creatures, like the, you know, the little slugs that latch onto those giant snails we found in the green swamps. Oh, like a piercing noogle. Right.

Those things that's one of the many kinds of worms I'm far too experienced with. We saw them in the Crip Garden Forest, but look, the idea that, you know, they're sort of parasitic, you know, I can't imagine that these villagers, whatever they are, you know, living there peacefully. They must be in some way associated. I'm going to, yeah, I'm going to guess they're the yak-folk. village the Oracle told us about. Right, right. Yack folk. Well, I don't

yak, yak, yak. Do you? I've never met one. I don't know anything about them. So, obviously, we could check up there. I'm more inclined as dangerous it sounds to try the doors. What kind of creatures? I mean, you have to ask where their alignment lies

if they're living this close to the giants. Yeah, this is kind of my point. I can't imagine they're good. No. But also, they probably don't any harm to the giants. And if they're just up there, maybe they're just neutral. Did the village look like new construction, or did it look like it had been there for a long time? It looked like it had been there for a fair amount of time. We know the ordaining broke apart. This fire giant Duke went in search of this 40,000-year-old super weapon to

try and put it back together. Found all the pieces of those, found the ancient forge it was made in or he can make it in or whatever. I don't know those details yet. I'm going to guess that maybe for some of that time these yak folks just lived here, and if you had a fire giant duke with their pet hellhounds and an army of people show up on your doorstep, maybe you make nice because you don't have a lot of choice. Totally. I'm not saying one thing or the other. I guess more what I'm saying is, you know, if we get up to the village and the yak folk are friendly and wonderful and all that kind of stuff, will they get us into the insides, is the question, I suppose. And, you know, my gut says probably there may be some way that access would be granted there.

The other side of me says, well, if we have the password to the front door, perhaps walking up under the veil of invisibility, cracking it open and taking a peeky inside, could be useful too. So it's a bit of a gamble. I mean, if we can get the conch out of the question And then it's just a question of dealing with the fire giants Because they're being disruptive But we've got the piece we think we need to help write the ordaining That takes one variable out of the mix

So I'm maybe with you We do a little reconnoitering Inside the depths of this mountain To see if we can find what's down there You can't help but have this image though Of the five of us Crawling up to the back entrance of this yack village like with this hilariously like yak skin thing over top of us trying to pass off

as yaks a trojan yak i don't think you guys understand the difference between a yak and a yak i was going to say i feel like that'd be weird there's like these yak people and then just a yak be like, I'd be like being a fox in front of red and being like, I'm one of you. You'd be like, what? Well, look, I could go invisible, use the password, and slip inside solo,

get a little bit more reconnaissance, and come back out and tell you what's what. I don't know if I like the idea of you going in alone. And plus, even if you're invisible, I think they're going to notice if the door opens and shuts and nobody comes in.

Another suggestion might be to wait for another giant, to arrive, Red, and then waltz in with the giant. Yeah, I mean, I think Red's a natural choice to go in one way or the other, just because you can get a sense of how many giants are in there and what we're up against. Yeah. And he can speak the language.

Look, I can use my nature's veil to slip in. I'd have one round to get in and out. But maybe there's a play where we sneak you in as a critter. If that fails, you can then use all your invisibility stuff to get out. like there's no reason we couldn't polymorph into you into something that's fast and and truth be told i'd rather be invisible than a small creature uh i think it it's more comfortable because if i get stepped on then i'm polymorphed out so uh let's uh let's do it then let's head back up to where i was i'll make sure you guys are far enough away from where i was to not be seen

then i'll uh turn invisible at the last second although and Red sort of hesitantly turns to Jack. Jack is right in front of you, yeah. There's a long stretch of land between the doors and the edge of the tree line, and I'm thinking, Jack, can I borrow the portable hole? What? Hear me out. If I throw it on the ground, it'll be like a ditch.

And if that chimera ends up swooping out of its nest, it might give me a little bit of cover. And that way I don't have to use my invisibility until I get to the actual door. Ooh, yeah, okay. Meta, I mean, I could use my invisibility right off the bat, but then I'm wasting a spell slot. Yeah. Yeah. I think this would work, and then...

I don't think I have a preference. I think whichever you think is going to get... Cool, cool, cool, agreed. Admittedly, maybe it's me being a little overly cautious, but... It's the only way to be. Thanks, friend. I appreciate it. And Red takes the portable hole. Yeah, yeah.

What's the worst thing could happen? Okay. Well, then let's do this. Red says, sort of hesitantly and looks at whim and nods solemnly. And he leads them to sort of where he was previous, overlooking the fire giant stronghold. All seems quiet. There's maybe a 50-foot or 60-foot stretch of this barren packed earth

between the edge of the trees and these huge adamantine doors. Yeah, and with the portable hole kind of like ready to go in the palm of my hand, I'm going to start moving across. And I think with my passive perception of 20, any movement from the top where the nest was, I'm going to throw the hole down and I'm going to jump in. As you break cover from the trees looking all around, you realize it's not just the darkness from the woods,

but dusk has truly fallen. Red puts his hood up and tucks up the kerchief, which sort of covers the bridge of his nose and below. And all at once, he sort of just disappears into the shadow. Red, stealthily as can be, you cross to the adamantine doors and stand dwarfed by their 50-foot height. What do you do now? Before them, he quietly says,

By Soutre's flame, I command these doors to open. And nothing happens. I say it in giant Nothing happens again What's he doing? He's just standing up Just standing down there So he walked up with the two hounds

He said that He didn't make any gesture And the doors opened Correct And he said it in giant Yep And I said it in giant Yep

Can I roll inside or intelligence Or something that would maybe help me here? You can roll intelligence or arcana Okay Oh 19, minus 1, 18. Okay. Wah.

Yeah, you figure that by virtue of the fact that there's nobody standing here, maybe the doors are magic, and there's some bit you're missing by not being a giant presence. Okay. Red with his back against the adamanty door casts a minor illusion of a fire giant. With, because I know minor illusion is only five feet by five feet. What are the constraints of that? But if the five foot by a five foot cube is suspended in air at a direction that if the door were, say, looking down, then the perspective of me having it floating in the air. Like one of those chalk drawings. Yeah, like the chalk drawings, exactly.

Yeah, you walk around on the opposite side. It doesn't make sense anymore. So the perspective is if you were standing where the door is standing looking. down, it would look like a normal fire giant, but from the side, it's a five-foot cube of a very squished contorted fire giant. I love, I love your creativity. I have no other idea. It doesn't work. Damn! Red turns around and as quick as he can runs back across the open area to the forest edge and then returns to his friends, sort of quietly walking when he arrives. I don't Didn't work. I tried the past code, bud. Oh, no. I don't think it opens unless it sees or maybe

magically detects a fire giant. I tried a minor illusion of one. Destroyed. Don't worry. But, uh, no, it didn't work. All right, ideas. I think we find a dumb ogre or something up in that village hanging out with the yak folk. Dress them up as a fire giant, convince him to go on an adventure and get them to say the words. Do we have a better illusion? Do we have like something that's better than minor illusion that can do bigger than five feet? We got tons of that. I just don't think it's going to meet the conditions that trigger a door. It's not going to be visual.

The door doesn't have eyes. Look, I try what I could to read what I could from the door, but you know magic items. If I explain it to you and what we know of it, is there a way that you might be able to discern what kind of criteria this door is waiting for? I mean... The very least, if we don't have to capture some sort of giant creature, that would be helpful. if we had 10 minutes or so where we weren't worried about being caught studying the mechanics of the door or we wait for the next giant to come along and shank them or not shank them but just sneak in next to him i mean i'm i'm all for shanking

don't get me wrong i love killing john but if we're ever going to get any more information about it maybe we walk up the stairs while we wait and see what those yak folk are up to Maybe they are champing at the bit for a chance to fight back with the fire giants and want to get in on the vengeance. Or maybe they know the secret back entrance into iron slag or who knows what they know. If we even speak their language, which is a real question at this point. How far could you cast a better illusion just out of curiosity? I could make a big old giant shaped image from 120 feet away. 120 feet, eh?

That'll seem completely real, including. including sound, smells, temperature appropriate to the thing depicted, all of that good stuff. I mean, come on, that's got to be enough. Nope. Sounds, smells? I just don't think that's how the magic works. Come on, Doran, back me up here. Maybe that's how magic works, right?

What is Mari have to say? Mari? She sort of looks over and does a little, like, hand-wavy thing, like, really? See, I knew she wouldn't back me up. Come on, Doran. Well... I don't think we need to overthink. this. I think... Another illusion? Agreed. There are two. There is wait for the door to open for some

other reason and use that opportunity somehow or walk up and talk to the guys who live here and see what they know about a backway in or something like that. All right. Well, if those are the only two options, I'm for one. But I do think there's a third option, which is a big illusion. That's just me. Just going to say it. I think if this thing saw a giant and we said giant, it'd be good. You know what I mean? Like... The effervescent type, it might be. detect dragons. It might detect elementals. It might detect ghoulies. Then we got the boat

question like what makes up a giant if it doesn't smell and sound like a giant. Jack, come on man. Red walks over to Jack. You're the illusion man. Wouldn't you love to make a big fire giant out there? Think about it. You'd save the whole party. The doors would swing open and you

the illusionist would be the difference between us having a climb those stairs and fight a giant and whatever our yak folk is, or walking in the front door. You're a wonderful storyteller, Red, but I need tactical Red right now. This is life and

death shit, head in the game. That is tactical. That will not work. Is there nothing... He can roll. He has to be on the door to roll for him? If Jack wanted to get within hangout distance of the door and roll an arcana or an intelligence check, he could

learn more. Let's go take a look at it. Let's see if we can get it. Look, why don't we all sneak up together? I'll cast pass without trace. Come on, the illusionist coming in the 11th and I was saving the day. Let's have a look at the skate. Red snapped his fingers and casts pass without trace. All right.

All of us, right? Yeah, all five. Let's go look at the door together. If we can find a way through the door while we're standing there, great. If not, let's start our way up those stairs to get to this yak folk village. It's a long way up. My legs are already sad looking at it.

Fine. Fine, but it's going to work. If you've got faith in your tummy, it's going to work. Then let's be ready for it to work and ready to storm into. Oh, God. Very good. Very good. All right, let's go.

Red starts skulking across the forest floor towards the clearing. As we all skulk with you, let's make a group stealth check. 31 for Wim. Nice. 30 for Jack. Not bad. 33 for red. Very good, yes, yes.

27 for Murray. That's going to be a natural 20 for doors. Oh, 32. Oh, we're so stealthy. The stealthiest motherfuckers. The five of you all underneath a moon shadow flit across this open space toward the 50-foot-tall adamantine doors.

And they're huddled by the base of the doors, Jack, you have your chance to examine them. It's just guys, eyes closed and his fingers crossed, muttering to himself. Jack's taken enough time to sort of perform the ritual required to detect magic and start to trace out the lines of it if they appear in and around this door to figure out if it is indeed magical or if there's some tricky mechanism at play. Jack, after performing your detect magic ritual, you are able to detect, yes, these doors are indeed sealed by an ancient magic.

And it's abjuration magic. Putting together all the clues that Jack can pull from the various places and in a cana roll of 25. Any sense of what is going to trigger or trip this mechanism, any ethereal tendrils of it that we might be able to, like, would it a spell get us through this door kind of thing? You know that the knock spell would have no effect on doors such as these, they are very powerful.

However, they do seem strangely attuned to fire giant-yness. Mm-hmm. Huh. Well, come on, illusionist. Plan one is looking really good. Which is plan one. Plan one was wait till there's a real fire giant. Oh, yeah.

No, come on, illusionist, buddy. Wait, but you can do it. Even magic specifically designed to unlock and open doors wouldn't work against these things. They're adamantium. Yeah, but you would. Jack, look at me. You're the illusionist king. You can do this, buddy.

Come on, buddy. For me. The Red looks at you. For me. Jack. Snaps his fingers. A 15-foot-tall. glaring fire giant, stands down and looks at red.

And in a guttural giant voice says, By Surner's flame, I command these doors to open. Jack, give me a very important dexterity saving throw. Mm-hmm. Five. A coarse grinding sound of metal on stone sends reverberations through your feet and sets your teeth on edge as the huge adamantine doors begin to slowly swing open

in response to Jack's illusion, speaking the pass phrase. Then it feels like time slows down. Everything that happens next could occupy the space between two heartbeats. Red, you catch Jack's eye as he flashes you a satisfied grin. His face is flush with success, and from deep within his left eye you catch the glint of the infernal puzzle box. A glimmer you know must echo back at him within your own eye. Yeah. It feels not great. Then the air starts to sizzle and crackle with ozone. You feel a shiver of static roll over your fur in a wave, and the side of Jack's face is brilliantly cast into

contrast, a perfect profile for one millisecond. And then, a searing ray of white blue light five feet wide pulses once through the open door, obliterating the wizard forever. Oh, God. Ooh, fuck. Jack's body disintegrates where the ray touched him. His flesh curdling to gray ash and already sifting to the wind. The illusion of the fire giant similarly falters and disappears,

and you are left exposed to the still opening doors of iron slag. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Jack, no! Without even enough time to reach out, Red like just sees Jack disintegrate, and with his eyes already wet, turns to the others. Run.

Yeah. Oh my God. Run! She's just going to start running. Red bolts towards the edge of the tree line where they came from as fast as possible. I can't. I can't. Whim!

Hurry, run! Yeah, yeah. Doren turns around. Yeah, and Wim chases you, Red. Move, Doren, move! He runs faster than his feet will take him. As you run, another beam of this intense white, blue light cuts its way through the terrain all around you. Abliterating clods of dirt and kicking up steam and smoke.

You dodge your way through and make for the safety of the woods. A surge of heat rolls over you as you retreat from these still opening doors. And there is a wild sound from inside, the baying of hounds. And then the ground shakes. with an immense tremor that almost knocks you from your feet. What is it? Keep running. Come on, Mari.

Move, Mari. Come on, Mari. Yeah, this is, this is, we are... Jack, he's gone. Red. Whim, come on. He's gone, move. Red grabs Wim's hand and runs as fast as possible.

You almost drag her from her feet. Dorn watches Red pick up Wim's hand and reaches back for Mari. Come on, Mari. We've got to run. Go. But she's not there. Yeah, Mari, in a moment of panic, this cloud of this dark mist zips around her and she misty steps out. In fact, she is actually some distance away from you right now, making a beeline for the trees. Come, Doran.

Driven by fear, you make your escape into the trees. And with the panic of everything that happens, you become separated from each other. The undergrowth affords you some cover. And a brief opportunity to regroup after having scattered. Doran, you see, Wim has flattened her back against a tree about 30 feet to your left. Red, maybe 15 feet off to your right. Mari, another 30 feet away from him, crouching beside some low bushes. Her face is panicky and pale, her eyes darting back and forth from the gates of iron slag to where you and red are hidden.

And as you watch these gates opening, you see the internal workings of this forge fortress. The rear of the immense room houses a furnace, the size of a building, glowing and insane orange color that burns your retinas as you look at it. You can discern the shapes of fire giants moving around the dimness inside. But most terrifyingly of all, you behold, the Colossus, the Vomondod. Fully reforged from its parts, once lost to time. It stands 80 feet tall in the center of the forge room, humanoid in shape, but made from cast adamantine with huge gemstone eyes. The giants walking around it, not even half as tall,

as this insane war machine. You are witness to the Colossus taking its first steps in some 30,000 years. The rebirth of a terror, unlike anything you've ever seen for a pageant. By the beard of Moradin. Look at it. Doran smells the singed hair of his beard and mustache as he peered. toward the open door. And the ground continues to shudder under your feet as this Colossus takes its first steps out into the valley.

Doren, Dauren, leaping into the bushes next red. I'm okay. Where's Mari? Doren, you see that Mari's maybe another 30 or 40 feet away from you, crouching beside some low bushes, her chest heaving with the exertion. of sprinting, her face panicky and pale. She darts her eyes back and forth from the gates of

iron slag to where you and red are hidden. Doran looks back at Mari again. Mouthing. It's okay. Come back to us. She looks behind her and

stops. Almost her face drops for a second. And and she studies herself for a moment and she just goes i don't want to end up like that no and uh yeah she just keeps keeps running and then without another word she wild shapes out of view yeah and runs away leaving whim red and dorin to face whatever comes next without her yep Maury? No.

Oh, no. Where is she? What's going on? Doren, where's Maury? I don't know. She was, she must have pulled back. Pulled back? Whim signs, no, she's gone.

She's gone? She left. I'm sure she pulled back. Come on, we can follow her. We'll... Doren. Red shakes you, Dorn. Mari left us.

Jack's dead. No, Jack's not... Focus. He's dead. Red slaps Doran across the face. Listen, it's just us now. Pull it together. We need to pull back. Come on. Let's go.

And Red pulls us back. Kind of in the direction of where they had their last sort of camp before Red scouted the doors to the iron slag. You travel through the woods towards the shelter that you had found previously in a copse of evergreens with two members fewer. All right. What a great episode. I'm very proud now to thank all of our valiant Patreon supporters.

This first name I can't pronounce, it's A, followed by a bunch of A's and a bunch of symbols. We'll say, Abby Mae Birkin Absolute Ocelli behavior Adam Frey Abril A.K. Trash Panda. Alicia Andrus.

Alicia Duh. Amanda Nicole. Andrus Babos. Anna Lena. Aspen Whispers. Athologoth. Autumn. Axel.

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Jellybean Josh Galusha Joshua Nance Joy Robinson Kara Cass, Kelly Fultz, Cochee, Lambda J, Lechrat, Lisanne Kleckner, Liz, Lorelai Feldman, Luna de Maria, Mach Jam Ofor, Manderpance, Marina Bennett, Merrick's Moon, Martina, Melinda Curley, Merlin, Minty, Moon, Name, Nibiya, Giga, Nick D, Nick D, Knox the Nightshark Oakland

Obie Pan Queen Quinn Rabida Naz cheese Ruthan Reed Trin Scottie

Seer of Time Shannon Waldner Schonk Sinister Jones Sray 96 Stab Sunny Tea Kettle

Tell Vole Control VZ Katzuka Vansgarf Waffle 427, Wanderfenn, Rengalispie, and Zill Street. That's Liz. I want to thank you again all for listening and have yourself a great time. See you around the table.

Red, Red, Red the page today, oh boy, red loses something that is important. And then the wizard bit the dust. Jack Page was played by Robb. His mind was blown by the phone and died. They didn't care for his big illusion. The party they all ran and screamed. Except the Genesey, Doran wasn't really sure if she had really run away. Why did he turn her?