Dice Shame - 2-138 | 'Good As Gold'

Episode Date: April 17, 2025

Within the Thousand Maws cave systems, the party negotiates for the fire potions they need...________________________________________________________________________________________________________________Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their friend Nic as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Fred, I gotta hand it to you. I don't need to put a little bit of this anywhere. Timil, have you noticed something? 499 pounds, why do you ask? I gotta learn and I'll blurt it out. Let's just say it was a miscommunication. He's embarrassed about the word booty. Ooh!

Maybe I could, uh, write you. You said kill them. This is the garbage mushroom is gross. If I had that kind of junk in my trunk, I'd be showing it off to everyone. Do you really wanna upset Duke Zolto like that? Right here, right now, out the door. I'm crazy. You know I am.

We're giving these Bon and Dodds away. Welcome back to Dice Shame. This is Season 2, Episode 138, Good as Gold. MVP this week is Moth, who is live blogging their listen on our Discord. They are enjoying Dice Shame in all of its glory. And boy, what fun to see it through new eyes. Thank you, Moth. You're this week's MVP.

Thanks, Moth. All right, should we play some D&D? Yeah, let's do it. Woo! The Watchman Ork leads you into this dimly, There are torches on the walls, but apart from that, it's not very homely. This is clearly just a series of caverns and tunnels that have potentially been hollowed out of this mountain, but you know, it's got kind of a natural vibe to it.

As you enter through this cave mouth into the tunnels, your nostrils are assaulted by smells. smell wood smoke, roast meat, mildew, and something strange, almost floral on the air. You make your way into the tunnels following this guardsman orc and past a campfire. There's a northern little cave mouth on the tunnel, and there are a couple of orcs sitting around a campfire. There's some tents here, and they all look up from the meal that they were enjoying together to pierce you with their gaze as you pass by. Hello. Doran's for it gives a what's up nod, you know? Like, uh, hi.

The classic cool guy. Yeah, sort of that weird feeling you get when you're walking through some place you don't know, but you're with somebody that knows them. So you're like, you know, we're with him. Look at us cool. We're the outsiders that have been invited in. Red just gives an awkward wave. I press some runes and the suit just says, What's up in orc?

One of the orcs that's spearing some meat over the fire, roasting it just holds up a hand to you with it. The orc gestures into a southern chamber, just opposing this campfire and says... You guys wait in there. Yes, sir. Sure. This larger cave looks like it is a storage.

area of some kind. There are rotten crates, some chests and barrels on the ground, a pile of shitty, broken weapons of all kinds, just like lying on the cave floor. And there is a wagon. That looks well used. Additionally, there is another orc in this area. She's leaning with her back against the cave wall, smoking tobacco, and she just gives the guard. Like, the weirdest, what the fuck? Look, as he passes by and tells you guys to wait in here. We're here to buy elixirs, uh, on behalf of Duke Zolto. You're here to buy elixirs?

Yes. What happened to the regular guy? He died. We killed him. You killed him. And now you have his job? Yeah. Look, the guy was skimming off of Duke Zolto.

So he hired us to take his ass out and now we're running errands here and there. What's the big deal? Roll deception. Fuck. I'm going to use my inspiration. Jolie goes so far with the reality of things. Roll it, baby. You said kill him.

Dorn was the one of them. I'm coming up your mistake. I got to learn it out. I'll blurt it out. I rolled with advantage. I got an eight and a natural 20. Oh. I also rolled a natural 20 on my insight.

Yeah, but my, so plus my deception? Mm-hmm. We're going to have to go into the nitty-gritty. Overtime? Overtime. Beon, boom, boom. Sorry, did you say you rolled an at 20 on your insight? Insight and deception contested role.

What? Temeel can see the kind of like dawning recognition of a lie on this orc woman's face. And she shouts out, you'll have to forgive my friends. They're a little bit in awe of being in. the presence of such skilled alchemists who are also such valiant warriors. And she's under the guise of the flattery is casting silvery barbs. Yes. Okay.

Yeah, it's what I used when we were fighting Rangel and he nat-twitted on me. And then I was like, so are you just dancing when you're saying this? Like, what does it look like when you're casting silvery barbs? For silvery barbs, this is all, this is just her, like, using honeyed words. This is just her kind of using the force of her speech. So it would probably be like a lighter version of that effect that we saw in Al Hamur, where if you're kind of paying attention and you can, you know, you're expecting to see this kind of thing,

it almost looks like sonic waves, like light sonic waves, maybe the air kind of shimmers a little bit. But it's subtle and the main force of it comes from her voice. Okay. Fuck yes. And so mechanically I'm re-rolling my... Your insight and using the lower roll, yeah. Ah.

I love that. Great job. A 13 on the die. So yes. Red like sees all this, obviously, but also got a natural 20, and he's just like, I mean, look, I don't need to put too much of this anywhere, you know? I'm standing a bit too Matt Berry there. I don't need to put a little bit of this anywhere.

Red, is that? No, look, this is the truth. I mean, that's the way it is, you know? Yeah, all right. sure. We can be friendly. You don't have to be mean. What's your name? My name?

I always love that one. Joe's like, my name? You want to know my name? It's Kubbub. And I don't want to hear any of the normal shit about Kubub. Qub. What's the normal shit about Qubb? That's a beautiful name. Thank you. Usually people have 10 jokes.

Maybe it has to do with the orcish word. Whitted, you know, Cubub is like, almost like a homonym for, like, booty or something. It's like a little bit, yeah. From across the room, Whittig just real quick hits her with a Cubub. Are you embarrassed because of the proximity of your name to the orcish word that roughly translates to booty? Oh. Yeah, it's something like that. Yep.

Timil tries to stay. But why would you be embarrassed? I mean, if I had that kind of junk in my trunk, I'd be showing it. off to everyone. It's true. Look at that ass. Well, that's why I asked, so I would know if she was embarrassed about that

or if she was embarrassed about something else. Good call, Wooden. This is weird. Doran has no idea of this, but he rolls a cigarette and steps up closer to her and smokes his own cigarette well. Okay.

It converse. Sorry for my friends. This is a weird thing. This is sort of a weird. It's sort of a weird. thing that's happened here just right now. Jordan tries to light a cigarette

off of her cigarette. He's like, can I go to wipe hair? She's like a full seven and a half feet tall and he's like, trying to just listen. Don't mind our friends. Like you were saying, we're simply here to pick up these elixirs

and then we'll be out of your hair. Red walks over to Timiel and he's just like, I think Doran might have a little thing. Dorn used to be married to a Goblin, FYI. Oh. So Doran and Kubub converse.

They have a somewhat terse, somewhat flirtatious. Maybe I could write you and have a raven deliver. You hear Doran kind of mumble. Oh. What is... Doran, as you and Kubub are having your little chat, you just feel the disappointment reverberating down the handle that's strapped to your back. but Orxpler's doing her best right now.

All right, well, just don't touch anything. No. Nothing? Can I sit? Yeah, you can sit on the floor. Okay, don't be sassy. Are you having an okay day? No, I'm not. Why?

Is this your job watching this room all day? Yeah, it's a shitty post. Oh, I'm sorry. That sucks. I mean, it's just the wagon. Okay, but then, hey, aren't we the highlight of your day? No. Oh.

Awesome answered. I don't know. The highlight of my day is when my shift is over, and I get to go to my tent and work on my knitting. Oh. You knit? Whim's working on Cat's Cradle. Wim shows her the Cat's Cradle, and she's, like, cute. Yeah.

Oh, that's sarcasm. Grak-Lak's in charge. Aren't you guys here to see Graglack? You know who's in charge, right? Yeah, we're waiting for him. That's what we're standing here, waiting for Graglack. What's your knitting like? What's my?

knitting like? Yeah, is it like a cape or a hat of booties? Better be careful the way you use that word around her. She's embarrassed about the word booty because of her name. She gets a thundercloud over her face. Is she wearing anything visible that's clearly knitted? Timil does a quick, like, scan to see if there's anything poking out from underneath armor or like bracers or anything.

Roll a perception check for me. Anyone who's doing a knitting check? Oh, goodness. Did you think it would get here? Was this part of the plan for this? The notes are DC-18 to find the knitting. Define the knitted scots. Hang on, again.

What'd you roll? I got a net 20 on my perception check for a 26. For knitting. Yeah. Can't hide that knitting. She's got one strap of like a knitted. She's got like one of those hot crochet bras on underneath her, like, regular armor.

Additionally, it seems like this room is the place where they store goods that are getting ready to be shipped out, but everything that's in this room right now is, like, crap that broke, that they haven't had time to just, like, throw in the river yet. We all got one of those rooms. like probably a shipment just went out and the carts come back and they're like oh this crate broke and they just like shove the pieces off of the cart after a few more minutes of this terse and somewhat flirtatious conversation a large male orc makes his way into view at the mouth of this tunnel he's wearing furs draped over his shoulders and his

tusks that emerge from his lower jaw are a good four inches long. One of them is capped in a gold ring all the way around, and he's about eight feet tall. He is all rippling muscle, and he's got just a bald head for the most part with like a little brown top knot sort of on the back, like shaved, and then just little button back. there. Red's like clock in the sky for future disguises. She's like, hmm, I want that next time. Tamil is going to kind of drop back and let Red or whoever else wants to be more up front

so that she can kind of disguise her movements a little bit. So she'll probably kind of let herself be a little bit obscured by this wagon from where Graglac is. Smart. Grakalak, I presume. Yeah. Nice to meet you. I had also sent him Matt Berry.

Why am I so much Matt Berry tonight? I don't know. You must be Grakalak. I presume my name is Red. As Red from Red's Road is... Keebub, get out of here. And she's like, excuse me? Yeah.

I mean, I'm doing business in here. Get gone. She's like, you don't tell me what to do anymore. Can I do an inside check real quick to see if there's any kind of like romantic tension between these two? Sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Absolutely. Is this an X situation?

Is this, this is turning into like sitcom? It's awkward. I rolled a 17, so that's a 27 insight. Wow. Nice. The way that Kubeb is staring at this chieftain shows some spite, and you actually recognize some similarities in the facial structure.

This is a dad and daughter situation. I'm going to message everybody. Just real quick. That's a dad. That's a dad. Doran, that's a dad. You know, just casting message to each of them. To Wid, to Wim.

So just out loud, I say, are you the one who named her Kubeb? Weren't you aware when you named your daughter, Kubeb of the proximity of the habit? Duming her to a life of being teased? I say that out loud. Kubeub's a family name. My mother was named Kub. Are you aware of the... No, no, no, no, no.

He takes six quick steps up to you, Witted, and he puts a meaty hand on your chest and pushes you up against the closest wall. And he says, Say one more word. Did he place the hand on my chest or the armor's chest? The armor's chest. Absolutely.

I love it. The armor is pushed up against the wall. I offer no resistance. And I press a button on the armor, at which point the armor says in orc. Okay. Redd, like, leans into the scene, like, let's just say it was a miscommunication. Our friend here is rusty with his common. Look, we don't want to take up any more of your time.

time, we're here to purchase a few bottles of elixir and be out of here as soon as the dog says, go home. It's a saying, it's taboxy, don't worry about it. That's true, with a few less gold pieces in our pockets. Graglack hasn't moved from in front of Witted, and he doesn't even take his eyes off of Witted to respond to you, Red, and he says, Yeah, I heard about that. Apparently you were sent by Duke Zoltow.

Well... In a way, yes. So you know that he owes me quite a bit of gold already. It's on its way. And are you saying that he needs more elixirs before we receive payment? For the last three shipments? No, the truth of the matter is, the elixis are for us to get in and get the remaining payment, which is on its way, as I mentioned. Previous.

Do you think I'm stupid? No. Gosh, no. What would give you that impression? The fact that you are feeding me such a crock of bullshit. Well... Okay. Now, listen, there's one thing to be saying we're lying, but we're not. We want to buy the elixirs from you. Full stop. Dad, can you please?

Just deal with these people for once, like you are not. The biggest pain in the ass on the planet. please get out of my sight and she stomps away oh does he still have his hand on whittid's armor he's dropped it when he addressed his daughter and he sort of did like a half turn away from Witted but he's still standing right up against him basically

Witted showing no signs he's aware of being in grave danger he's looking back and forth between the three like people oh wow this is getting exciting goggles zooming in and out God that's good Look, we don't want to take up any of your time. Clearly, we're bothering you. We want to pay for the elixies and get out of here. There's no gin off your arm?

Did you bring the payment? None of the payments on its way. Look, we are but four humble adventurers coming on behalf of Duke Salto to collect five elixirs. The payment is on its way from Duke's Alto. Sounds great. You wait right here. Can I rule inside on that?

Yeah. Just believe what we say, you know? Like, I don't think so. Sorry. That's a dirty 20. Ooh, nice. There is a simmering danger in this interaction that is starting to boil. Listen, listen.

I don't think there's anything here at Dorn can say that's going to take it off the rails any further. But he steps in and he's like, all right, look. Yes, your money is coming. but look on the other hand do you really want to upset Duke Zaltow like that and tell him

no more Alexers until his money gets here really the only reason we're here ahead of your money is because of the need for it so quickly otherwise we would have come slowly with the rest of your gold

right with my 20 I just want to know when Doren says Duke Zalta Can I decipher how this orc feels about Duke's alter? Doesn't like him very much. Perfect. Okay.

Reg is going to interrupt Doran and say, all right, look, gloves down, fuck it. You want the truth, my friend? Here's the goddamn truth. We're going to go kill Duke's Alto. We don't give a fuck about him. We want the elixies so we can get in there, take off his fucking head. And here's what I'm going to tell you, my friend. We don't give a fuck what happens to iron slag when we're done with it.

You want a new home for your thousand fists? You want to loot the shit of that place? You want to scrape every last bit of gold or adamantine from that fucking mountain? It is yours. Well, I don't know about that. I don't know if we should be promising adamantyne necessarily. Wait it in a moment. Because I will tell you this.

We are going to take his fucking head. and destroy the fire giants. And that is a promise you can look me in the eyes. You have this orc chief's attention. Finally, some real truth from you. Look, can you blame us? We had to get in here somehow. I don't know if you are up to the task of it,

but I would like to see you try. Listen, my friend, we've killed hill giants, we have destroyed stone giants. You see this wrought of the Vonundad, I took it from a fucking fire giant before I put one through his fucking skull. You tell me we can't do this? You believe whatever you want, my friend, but I will tell you, we may not be good at bluffing at times, but we are damn fine good at killing. Well, Red, I gotta hand it to you. You're... you're talking paid off today we're still in it dorn

that's a bit premature perhaps we should see what Doren's like snatch cut to walking out already And then we have the potion We jump in the air and freeze Maybe don't put that in But I'm impressed Harrell

That was good We didn't go No He's very persuasive We made his sale That guy from Guardians of the Galaxy I love him so much We got out of here

Sorry And Shirley, you don't take me for a charity case. Of course I don't. And I know your name's not Shirley. And don't call me Shirley. I fucked up the children. It's perfect. You gotta talk to Nick about these.

That's why we're willing to pay. What did you bring? A hundred gold per elixir. And I don't finish my sentence. I read his reaction. Mm-hmm. Natural 20. No fucking lie.

Check the zone. Getting those. Sweet natch. You can tell that based on what you've pulled out of your bag of holding, he wants to pump you from more gold, but that's more than he was expecting to receive from you. Like, it's more than it's worth, but he's going to try to get you.

Yeah, and Red reads that, and he's like, 100 per is what I would be willing to offer you, but because of the deception, I'm going to tack 50 more on per each potion. That's $150 right here, right now, out the door. I'm crazy. You know I am. We're giving these bon and dots away.

That's so funny. Look, 150 per election. That's five. Five times 150 is, and red points to Witted. 7.50. That's right, 7.50. What do you say? A deal?

He holds out a hand that is bigger than your face to shake it. Red spits in his hands. He doesn't flinch. He just goes for it. He doesn't care about a weird cat spit. Yeah. And Red shakes his hand. All right.

Follow me. As he leads you deeper into this complex, you are following an almost floral scent. Your daughter is strong and gorgeous And you need to let her go free If you want to see her flourish When it also marches up in his armor And just leads out of the armor He just says, I am just so glad

And you think he's going to compliment the job he did That that spitting at his pub was the side of respect I didn't know what you were going for there exactly And I'm so glad that it paid off of me I don't know either That's what Tamil taught me how to do Just following her lead All right, let's go

And yeah we head deeper in Wow. Great job, Harlan. Do you have inspiration right now? No, I used it. I want to give you inspiration. You didn't. That was a fantastic bit of role-playing.

Thank you. Excellent job. Grak-lack leads you deeper into the cave systems. It's a lot deeper than I hope we'd have to go. Red says to Witted at the back of the line as we move deeper into the orkish layer. Sort of like we're walking into the belly of the beast. These cave systems are incredibly cold. complex, but very interesting to navigate.

Everyone, keep your eyes peeled. Let me know if you notice anything. Sure. Witted is goggles down, just examining every nook and cranny of every, not like up close, but he keeps, it's clear, he's not being subtle about it. He's looking around for anything unusual. Joe, you had mentioned that there was some, there was a kind of floral smell in the cave? I did.

As we're walking, I think that Tamil has noticed this, and I think that she might be scanning trying to find a source for the floral smell. Wonderful. You've nose-diced it? I've nosed-d-nosed it. Nose-dist. Timil, have you noticed something? With my nose.

Have any of you noticed that there's a smell? It's almost like flowers. Is that what that is? Flowers? Unfortunately, it's highly unlikely that ancient Netheries technology would be running off of any kind of of bio-organic or flower-based technology.

So unfortunately, no luck there. And he just acts like that's what you were talking about and keeps walking. That's true, right. Couldn't care less about anything we smell. He's like, that's not how I find good technology. I feel like orc splitters on my back being like, you could kill them all.

You could just kill every orc here. How are you handling vibrations and protests from your weapon? Doran's got it covered with his piece of his cloak. He's kind of muted it, muffled it, to try and keep it as quiet as possible. Otherwise, he's ignoring it and telling it to shut up every now and then. Quiet. They're going to hear you. We have to be polite here.

Come on. As the orc chieftain leads you further into this tunnel system, a large irregularly shaped cavern opens up ahead of you. It's bisected north-south by an underground river. You see in this huge cavern that there are a handful of orcs at work here. Some of them are waist-deep in this river, busy among a small grove of aquatic mushrooms that grow amber and green and mauve, casting light up and out onto the ceiling above you. Tamil, you could make the assumption that some of this strange floral smell is mushroom-based. Oh, okay.

Across the rickety wooden bridges, on the eastern side of the cavern, you see that there are several hide-and-bone tents set up, and there are bonfires also glowing. Grak-lac leads you towards one of these bridges. Move. Just a knock-off red. Hey, what do you want to bet those mushrooms

have something to do with that elixir they're producing? Oh, you think... Hey, and Red says even, like, more hushed. Maybe I should try to snag a few, just in case this all falls through, you know? Hey, I think not a bad idea, you know? All right, all right. Red just like slinks back. Doesn't seem like Grak-lack is terribly concerned with keeping track of the five of you.

He's just striding across the river, perhaps feeling like you're not a threat. Hmm. Our deception worked. Clever play there, widowed, by letting. him push you and me deceiving him with my stupidity well

yes part of the plaid and you see him in his armor like kind of touching the edge of the bridge with a toe of his armor and he's like I'm concerned about the structural integrity of these bridges but so far it seems to be going well

how heavy are you I do feel like in the suit pretty fucking heavy Yeah? Are we talking like a small car? I think that's why he's upset. I think I'd say a good 300, 350 probably, yeah.

Wow. Yeah. So not car, but definitely heavier than a person, even of his size. Yeah. And he's kind of big in the armor. I'm writing it down right now. How much does the levitate spell lift? 500.

Okay, it's under that. I was, absolutely. $499 pounds, why do you ask? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Rather important for me. Tamil is kind of walking. She hustles up alongside Chief Graglach. Chief, we do not wish to intrude any further than we already have.

Are there courtesies or customs that we should be observing while we are in your area? He turns to you with like kind of a look of disbelief on his face. Are you asking me for charm lessons? If you have ones to give you. usually I wouldn't recommend showing up at someone's doorstep demanding shit that's lesson one

noted but also well for example I'm so curious about these mushrooms here but if you would prefer that we not ask questions if we keep our mouths shut and stay to one area he gives you kind of a coy smile

and just says You can ask as many questions as you like, but doesn't mean that they'll get answered. He starts to stride farther across the bridge. That means he doesn't know anything. I know the type. Underfoot-witted, this bridge creaks terrifyingly. It's this rare moment where you see him very concerned

and awkward in the armor, whereas normally he's just plotting methodical. He starts, like, moving a little bit carefully and almost stumbling, like, let me make sure I'm grabbing this rock at all given time, and then, like, stumble forward to like, this other rock, oh, geez. Thankfully, you make it across safely. Apparently, some of these orcs in the tribe are also quite stocky, heavy folks. Red's just watching this.

That's not a sight you see every day, Dora. Gnome in a giant mechanical suit stumbling across. a wood bridge. I know. Hey, distract them for a second. Red bends down and he pretends to tie his shoe that doesn't have laces. And he goes to like look at some of the smaller mushrooms

that are like nearby. Sure, yeah. Red, all around you, there are signs of industry. Like off to the north, there's an area of the cavern up kind of like a two foot ledge where there are all of these barrels stacked and arrayed. And you notice as you bent to tie your fake shoe that there's actually an orc standing like 20 feet behind you that you didn't notice as you were walking by who's like pretending to work. He's like found a quiet corner and he's got a crowbar in his hand. He's just like tapping it on a crate.

Is he looking at me? He's like looking around. I think you guys have definitely caught his attention because it's like. No, I'm not trying to. Strangers, weird, like walking by. But he's also like, you don't see me. I don't see. you and he's like picking his nose. I want to see if I can discern anything from the mushrooms being close to them. If they're dangerous, if, you know, touching them would cause me to turn purple. Are you going to get up close to them?

Are you just going to take a look from like? I mean, I imagine I'm kneeling next to one right now. Cool. Do it on the map, coward. Anywhere in the water, you can definitely find a sample of these. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can I rule survival? You would roll nature.

Would it? Okay. Whitted? Every time I say whittidid. Red is all about nature. 15. You sampling some? No.

No, God, no. You say it like that wouldn't be something you'd do? Eat one, hold. What does your investigation look like? Are you entirely just looking at these mushrooms? I bend down, go to time I shoot, and I investigate the mushrooms. I want to know if they're poisonous. But, I mean, look, if it's going to be fun for Red to pick it, sure.

I don't want to make a combat. All I'm saying is when people investigate mushrooms, they like, put a little piece of paper underneath the gills and see what kind of spore pattern they make. Or they like run a finger. I don't know. So my thinking was more along the lines of... Are you huffing one? No, I, I, okay, correct me if I'm wrong, but people who like go through the woods exploring mushrooms don't just touch all the mushrooms.

They go down, they go, that looks like the poisonous aquatic mushroom known as blah, blah, blah. That's the check I'm doing now. I want to know if this is a mushroom I recognize. These are not mushrooms that you innately recognize because they are probably native to this cave system. You've encountered a lot of different kinds of phosphorescent mushrooms before. These are emitting, now that you're up close to one, emitting kind of a lovely floral scent. All right. Are the orcs in the water harvesting mushrooms?

Did you say that? Yeah. It's so weird, actually. Are they using, like, gloves? Do they have PPE on? Are they just throwing them in the bags? They've got baskets on their back and there's actually an overseer orc

who's like standing on one of the northern bridges and she's like glaring down at these worker orcs as they have sithes and they're like hacking off pieces of mushroom and throwing them in the baskets. Yeah, okay, cool. Yeah, red will try to pick some. Cool.

Slight a hand style. Yeah, if you want, want to grab, like, a grapefruit-sized mushroom? Yeah, and throw it into the bag of holding. Roll a sleight of hand, check. Hell yeah. I'm going to use my advantage. Cool.

22. Phenomenal. Yeah, you palm a mushroom. What color you get? Move. Move. You get a move. Unless there was a distinct, like, way the orcs were picking, you know, only the blue ones or something.

Like, could you imagine? Red gets the mundane out of the lot of all this. Oh, this is the fart mushroom. Yeah. This doesn't have any of the... This is the garbage mushroom is gross. Yeah, if there is a rhyme or reason for their selections, you can't tell.

Okay, perfect. Yeah, Red just quickly puts it in and then, like, passes Doran and, like, kind of taps him as he passes, you know, kind of like... Doren knows the feeling of, like, mission accomplished taps on... Absolutely.

He even catches it at the corner of his eye. He doesn't even, like, acknowledge really yet. Perfect. Yeah, we join the others. After all of this very subtle mushroom harvesting, Graklack has made his way almost across the entirety of the chamber and is heading towards another tunnel system. Are we there yet?

As Witted had crossed that first bridge there and like stumbled onto that midway rock, like even stumbling forward so much that reflexively, you think his helmet came clinking into place, like, I'm going to fall! Okay, all right, it clinks into place. And then from inside that helmet, you hear him go, all right, um. And he's clearly the one talking, but the voice is being distorted. No offense to your integrity of this bridge, but I'm not risking it.

And suddenly you hear this... Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, coming from specifically the boots of the armor. And he just slowly starts to step upward off the right. He's using his boots of flying modification on the armor, and it's just his walking speed now is his flying speed, and he just starts, and you see these little blue pulses, not like jets of rockets or anything, but just like these bwam, wom, wom, wom, wom, waves coming up. It's like the way that you move heavy appliances where you put something underneath that just has like jets of air and it just makes it easier to slide.

Yes. Tell me about these fucking boots. He can fly. Is this unlimited? You used you just get to be Iron Man? What's going on? In theory, the boots of flying are one of the more crucial upgrades that Witted did give to his armor and for mobility purposes. And they have a flying speed equal to your walking speed.

You can fly up to four hours all at once or in several shorter flights. So he just says, like, I wasn't hoping to use up the battery too much, but I have battery to spare. Cool. What the hell's a battery? Honestly, I can't think of a reason why we'd ever need to track how many. Like a ram? Battery ram? Is he saying battery ram, Doran?

Is he missing the ram part? A battery is simple, a gemstone carved with cool rudes. We have lots of them in my line of work. Oh, wonderful. I have those, too. He can fly. He can fly. He can fly.

He can fly. I can fly. I can sing. It says the armor. Wow, that's pretty cool. And I just slowly drift back to the ground. What other secrets are you keeping in there, Tin Man? He flips up the helm, smite.

at you for the first time kind of a little bit in this genuine way and you just see nothing pops out but for just a moment this ripple from top to bottom of plates shifting in impossible geometric ways just hinting at what might be underneath this armor just this subtle like readjusting of all these like panels

that clink out and in but like don't actually reveal what's behind them. I am tantalized well done. Old Bessie has a few tricks up her sleeve and I even hold up one of the arms as you see like the plates like shifting and adjusting. I thought you're going to say you pull a never-ending handkerchief. Absolutely. Absolutely.

Pigeons fly out. Flowers and stuff. I feel like I like that Witted wouldn't flaunt a lot of his powers until they're absolutely necessary. You're like, oh, you didn't know I could do this. Right. Yeah, absolutely. Perfect.

Yeah, and you continue following Graglack to the next room. All right, I just want to say thanks again to all of our wonderful Patreon supporters. And usually it takes me so long to read this, so I'm going to take a stab at going a little bit quicker here. Thank you to Abby Mae Birkin, absolute ocelli behavior, Adam Fry, Abriel, Azu Yuckeye, aka Trash Panda, Alicia Andrus, Alicia Duh, Amanda Nicole, Anna Lena, Etholagoth, Autumn, Axel, Beanfein, Bird, Blacklight Riot, Caitlin Hengaveld, Caspian, Celeste Jedlick, Charles, Christopher, Clockwork Phoenix, Colin Burkhart, Crowe, David Shaw, Delirium, Eldridge Unicorn, Eli Davis, Emerson Forsberg, Aaron Lightning, Gabby, Tau, Gareth Bradshaw, Haley, H. Hyde, Icy, Ivy Covered Stones, Izzy, Jack,

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Huge fucking pipe. Yes. Just tobacco. I feel like you could say tobacco. I wish Tamil you walked up and you're like, so what's cracklack and cracklack? That sounds exactly like something Timil would say, yeah.