Dice Shame - 2-151 | 'Crash & Burn'

Episode Date: July 17, 2025

With an Ogre hot on their tails, the party must act quickly if they wish to remain undiscovered...______________________________________________________________________________________________________...__________Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their friends Nic & Timm as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 About damn time someone did something awesome I dropped my chicken The goblin wasn't wearing a hat or anything was he Right you should probably go around the corner Doran anything This is on you Nick Did that really? Okay yeah And that goblin didn't even die
Starting point is 00:00:14 We'll figure it out I guess I'm sorry, come on out Darius is an old friend of bye You said he's gonna have our head We should come to some sort of understanding I have a headache tonight Oh I see I was there This is going to
Starting point is 00:00:25 Duke Zolto Shenanigans incoming Welcome back to Dishame. This is Season 2, Episode 151, Crash and Burn. MVP this week is Tom from the Discord. Tom has not only joined the Discord in 2022, but they have re-listened to Disham at least one entire time. They said my impression of my brother,
Starting point is 00:01:00 in episode 146, I probably should have said yes to that, was on point, and I have to agree. Thanks, Tom. You're this week's MVP. All right. Should we play some D&D? Yeah, let's do it. Woo! The ogre drops into initiative right now.
Starting point is 00:01:21 He walks over to the table and drops what he had been carrying, his side of yak folk that he had been. transporting across the kitchen. And then the ogre begins to move toward this commotion. Ending his turn almost on top of you, Red. He is right there in melee. You can smell his sour sweat. Ew. Why'd you have to say sour?
Starting point is 00:01:47 And like the cleaver that he's carrying like whizzes right by your head as he's like taking these long strides. Next up is Wim. Wim moves up to the goblin, grabs his leg and starts dragging him over towards this empty cistern and dumps his limp body into the pit. And then she's going to go around the corner
Starting point is 00:02:14 and end her turn right beside you, Red, and you feel a tug at your sleeve. Red, it's your turn. Man, part of me says getting this guy to the edge of that pool and then find him, a way to push him in, and then just, like, gang up on him and kill him may give us the advantage on the goblins.
Starting point is 00:02:39 I mean, the other thing, he's clearly in charge of the kitchen. The reason that we didn't do any of the charm monster, the beguiling before, was because the target was out of range. But now, this ogre, who is much, like, larger and potentially a much more valuable asset is kind of coming to us. So maybe, like, using the charm or the beguiling on the ogre could be a play. Definitely. I mean, we would have to waste invisibility, but that's not a big deal.
Starting point is 00:03:06 I would say it hasn't been wasted. Yeah. Definitely. Sorry. What I mean to say is we'd have to lose it. Also, is it regular invisibility or greater invisibility running? It's greater. So you can take actions.
Starting point is 00:03:18 Okay. Is he 30 feet within any of you? I don't think so. I don't think so. No. Because I can make him allied to someone. when I see, so I wouldn't have to break my risk. Right. The gamble here
Starting point is 00:03:28 is whether or not he's charmable at all. Because even if he's an ally and we leave this place and then he lets up the alarm, then the plan is kaput as well. Part of me says he's too risky to even let live. So live and let die. The pool, if I remember correctly, is about 10 feet deep.
Starting point is 00:03:44 Yeah, 15 feet. 15 feet? Yeah. So pushing how tall is the ogre? 10, 12 feet. What I mean to say is that won't kill him, but that would let us basically do a round of attacking while he tries to climb up. Like it's just, you know, it's like fish in the barrel type vibe. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:04:01 My thinking is he'd look over at the body, right? We can get stuff set up anyway to kind of do that because, you know, like, we still would need to hide. Otherwise, he would just come directly towards us, right? So, like, we can, we can definitely get him close to the edge of the pool. Yeah, that's true. But is the social play smarter? I'm happy to lean that way, if you guys think.
Starting point is 00:04:19 The getting near the pool doesn't negate the social play. It doesn't take that out of, out of an option, so. The goblin wasn't wearing a hat or anything, was he? He didn't look like a... What? Well, I was just... You had... You had to disguise himself as the goblin?
Starting point is 00:04:33 He had chef pants on, but now the chef pants are at the bottom of the cistern. You could make yourself like a goblin? I mean, you could. You'd be a pretty hairy goblin. I just thought if there was some way to roughly disguise, I would, like, walk away with the tray and get to that corner. Don't you have a tattoo of disguised person?
Starting point is 00:04:53 Yeah, you literally have a... this guy's soft tattoo. I do. I could. You could pretend to be the goblin. I could. Would you guys be down that? If I made myself look like the goblin
Starting point is 00:05:05 and then grab the tray and started walking and then like ended up about here so that the ogre would at least come around the corner and see the goblin walking with the tray. I mean, I could then have the charm ally backup and then if it fails, I could have you be the target of the charm. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:24 Like the ally. This sounds like a great plan. If nothing else, it's hilarious. So I feel like, yeah. Yeah. It is fine. Okay, let's do it. But now I'm wondering if we even take it one further.
Starting point is 00:05:33 If I can disguise myself, why don't I ask something? Known deceiver, Doran Iron Fist. Yeah, really. Are you Duke Zalto? Tell me the truth. No, I think Doran makes the wise decision to not speak. And, uh, best kind of deception. Yeah.
Starting point is 00:05:52 All right. It's Red's turn. I'm going to. defer until after the ogre. Sure. I will drop down and that way when this all goes to shit, Red can take a... Fantastic. Tamil, it's
Starting point is 00:06:04 your turn. Tamil will because Doran hasn't communicated this plan. Right. Tamil will just straight up ask, can either of you I don't know, look like this goblin? Witted, does your suit transform at all? You said you have infiltration
Starting point is 00:06:20 and is there a disguise involved? The helm of the suit, kind of like he did before where it was like a convincing like upper body and like bust area just the head turns into the goblin's head, I dropped my chicken says the voice and you think it's him trying to tell
Starting point is 00:06:36 you yes but what he's accidentally communicated is no he would be terrible at disguising himself as the goblin number one he's too big number two he's bad at doing the impression right you should probably go around the corner Doran anything I don't even and then and then it
Starting point is 00:06:52 hits him like a brick and he goes, my tattoo, and he reaches into his sleeve and he touches his tattoo. And sure enough, in a few seconds, five seconds, he's transformed in front of you as though he looks sort of like a rough memory of this goblin that we saw like maybe 30 seconds ago. How do I look? Fucking brilliant. All right. Weid and I are going to hide around the corner.
Starting point is 00:07:22 Please don't just, please just keep it simple. and you've got this. And he makes the hand over his mouth symbol and grabs the end of the tray and makes it look real heavy and starts to like drag it behind him. Fantastic. Tamil will take a hold of Witted
Starting point is 00:07:39 if he'll allow this and begin to move them and I think I'm going to have to dash and do all sorts of stuff to get around the corner to hide. So there are some big barrels behind you. Let's do that instead because that's a lot closer. Yeah. And I'll just drag Witted
Starting point is 00:07:52 and shoot a message to red. Shananagan's incoming. Doran's going to dress like this goblin. About damn time. Someone did something awesome. You have to really pull on with his gauntlet. He's still doing the
Starting point is 00:08:06 rocking back and forth awkward motion of the machine persona as like this plotting automaton. It's very lost in space, very like, and he's machine sad hide. Now we're going to, yes, no need to do that anymore. That ruse
Starting point is 00:08:23 has... Oh, okay. Oh, I see. Understood, I take off into the air and float around. Come hide with me, please. Nice. I am floating behind that big water jug. As Doran's walking away with this tray, he's just thinking to himself, maybe mumbling under his breath. I just got to give it enough time for Red to take over. Just got to give it enough time for Red to take over.
Starting point is 00:08:51 And I'm waiting. Well, you also speak Goblin, don't you, Doran? Well, no, I don't, I don't, I don't, I don't. The joke was that your goblin wife couldn't speak common and you couldn't speak goblin, and that's why you guys had 10 years of happy marriage. But listen, but listen, 10 years, I would bet canonically, he at least knows like, hello. Yeah, and hi. Fair enough.
Starting point is 00:09:10 And there's something really funny about him being like saying the three goblin phrases he knows. Yeah, where's the bathroom? Dorn's repeating to himself, the goblin words that he knows. The ogre comes in and Doran is like My uncle's pen is on my aunt's table Where is the swimming pool? No, it's just the foulest I have a headache tonight
Starting point is 00:09:36 It's the foulest fucking swear words That you could possibly think of Because his wife was just constantly You're such a drunk dwarf Oh no! We found berries in the field It got sad Yeah
Starting point is 00:09:48 The ogre lumber's past red and whim, and makes its way into the cistern room. Temeel, Doran, Witted, the three of you see this hulking brute for the first time, bloody apron, cleaver, and he points at Doran, disguises this goblin and says, What is it now? Yeah, Doren drops the tray and does his best to look like a frightened goblin. And he shakes his knees and he puts his hands up and he just sort of not knowing what to say. He just says what he knows in Goblin, which translates to yes and no.
Starting point is 00:10:37 You called me. Doren does in his best impression. Yes. This is going to Duke Zoltow. I love that I love that I love that every character Tamil
Starting point is 00:11:02 fucking red They all slapped their face in this I can hear it Even the dead goblin at the bottom of the sister I wasn't going to say anything She asked me What am I rolling here?
Starting point is 00:11:16 Deception It's very funny We did also didn't say anything or head slap just rotated the head slightly towards Timiola. Did that really? Okay, yeah. And you get kind of like a shrug and like an eye roll of like we'll figure it out, I guess. Yes.
Starting point is 00:11:34 Can I roll and then if it sucks, use my inspiration or do I have to decide to use it right now before I roll? Depends what kind of inspiration you want to use. So as written, you're supposed to decide whether you're rolling with inspiration before you do so. Bartik inspiration you can choose after No it's just my straight up inspiration that I have ticked off I mean you also have the lucky skill or feet I do have the lucky you can also choose to re-roll What do you guys think? Should I use my inspiration for this
Starting point is 00:12:04 Just to be on the safe side? I think I'm going to I mean it's fun I don't really use it right That way I can give more inspiration later All right that's going to be a 14 Okay I think that's a decent it's decent yeah unless before you answer before you answer should I do you guys think I should do you guys think I should roll lucky on that deception well here's he's probably dumb here's the
Starting point is 00:12:29 thing though also because that's so rude that's so rude and also if you fail this deception I mean the thing that he's going to do is start moving towards you right right takes him and further out of the kitchen so it's not necessarily a terrible fail that's true let's Stick with the 14. I like that. You know, you make, that makes actually great sense.
Starting point is 00:12:51 Like, it's not like, this is on you, Nick. I know. It's not like there's a huge downfall. If he attacks me, then I've got, I've got companions nearby anyways.
Starting point is 00:13:01 Mm-hmm. Yeah, Dorn just goes with it. 14. He says, Are you fucking stupid? And then walks towards you. With his arm uplifted,
Starting point is 00:13:13 like he's about to cuff you. but he doesn't quite get to you in time to be able to make that action so he's going to have to just hold that until his next place slow like just so slowly moving towards you raising his hand up he stops halfway
Starting point is 00:13:33 and takes a deep breath labored breathing I'm coming for you uh red it's your turn red watches all of this go down removes his hand from his face that he slapped and sort of creeps up to the edge of this scene and what he sees is the ogre standing next to the 15-foot hole
Starting point is 00:13:56 standing next to Doran and he realizes that if they can push him into the hole they have the opportunity to either take him out in a few rounds without any issue or frankly just to run by him and leave him there to clamber out because they've only seen one goblin. So he wonders how to push this ogre in. And I have an idea, which could be a little risky, but we'll see what happens.
Starting point is 00:14:29 Red sneaks up behind the ogre, who I imagine is like kind of right next to this, right? Okay, so here's how pushing works. I'm not going to push him. Okay, great. Red likes. do do do behind him and looks around and he gives like a thumbs up to Tamil and Witted even though he's invisible but it's for him and he reaches into the bag of holding and pulls out a wooden box
Starting point is 00:14:55 and he sets it down directly sort of beneath the ogre but like far enough back from him so that it's opposite the side of the hole and then he steps back against the wall giving a wide berth and then he says Stephen 2 And the folding boat explodes into a 24-foot medium-sized vest.
Starting point is 00:15:22 Oh my God. That I am hoping is heavy enough and large enough to thrust the ogre into the hole. And as the ober is falling, Red's going to say, Stephen 3 and fold the boat
Starting point is 00:15:40 Back up into its small box. Back up again. This is some Looney Tunes shit, I swear. This is like some Loonie Tunes. I love it very much. Here's the thing about this stupid plan is that I love it. But think about it. It's huge.
Starting point is 00:15:55 It's 24 feet long, eight foot wide. He's not ready for it in terms of the scope of things that he was preparing for in his day. I don't blame him. Plus it's like kind of under him. You don't know what I mean? Well, and most importantly, his dexterity saving throw, I rolled a one. So I think that the ogre is catapulted about 10 feet in the air, landing prone at the bottom of this cistern. And he's going to take some falling damage.
Starting point is 00:16:31 Oh, yeah. You should add on extra because he's a big guy. I'm not going to do that. That's not how any of this works. Bigger they are, the far heart of their first. fall. He takes 13 points of falling damage. Nice.
Starting point is 00:16:45 Landing prone with a soft wumph of air exiting his lungs. It seems like he is also winded, not able to call out until he sort of gets back up to his feet. Well, and Red scoops back up the box, which is now folded up, slips it away and says, loud enough for them all they hear, just says, let's go. You two under the plate. Women are invisible. Dorn's undercover. Let's go. And I think we just move.
Starting point is 00:17:12 Because like, if you guys hide under the plate relatively, I mean, the goblins won't look, we're invisible women and I. And Doran looks like a goblin. I think this guy can chalk it up to the goblin fell in and died. Who knows? But to me... Hold on. The goblin fell in and died. So he sees a dead goblin.
Starting point is 00:17:29 And then he also saw another goblin. No, no, no. What he sees is a goblin he spoke to. Then he's catapulted 10 feet up in the air and lands at the bottom to see the same goblin. I think we can get away with a little prestige trickery, and I think he could buy that that goblin got absorbed by the boat and pushed into the hole. Are you trying to gaslight this ogre?
Starting point is 00:17:51 Yes. You did the put the bag on his head and then put a bag on your head, and you're like, who's putting bag on people's dead? Actually, it's the perfect crime. But here's my counter argument. What do you think is more likely that the ogre assumes the goblin fell and died or that there was a second identical goblin up above that was talking to it. And that goblin didn't even die.
Starting point is 00:18:13 You just need to poke your head over the ledge of the cistern and go, and no one will ever believe you. I love this plan. It's just the right amount of Looney Tunes question, though. So those of us hiding under the platter now, the rest of the things in here are Mephits and Goblins. We wouldn't be hidden by the platter. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:18:36 Who are you hiding from? I'm so glad you said that, Nick, and I think we should take a moment to appreciate the image because we wouldn't have known what was left in the room and it would have assumed like, oh, there might be 20 giants in there. We walk in under a plate and everyone's looking up at us. Like, oh, those people are under a plate.
Starting point is 00:18:55 Yeah, that's true. We're bringing this plate in. I wonder if there's another Star Wars, Han Solo and the wookie scene where you know Tamil is the prisoner again and there's the robot
Starting point is 00:19:08 with the goblin leading them on right? Okay. One legit option is red then at the end of his turn could throw down the portable hole. Oh. You two could hop in
Starting point is 00:19:18 and I could scoot across this room in a flash. Yeah, that's a great idea. I could do it in like one round. Damn. And then the doors are the same as the other doors where it's like there's a strength check
Starting point is 00:19:27 involved in opening them and stuff? Correct. But I think. think you can last six rounds in the portable hole without oxygen up to 10 minutes after which time it begins to suffocate so 10 minutes you have which is how many rounds uh lots six 60 and we've talked about it too so it's not like it would be unheard of for you just to see the hole open up even though red still invisible is it 60 100 rounds 100 rounds to get through open the door and then deal with whatever's on the other side of the door depends how much you trust red
Starting point is 00:19:58 Red would do it. End of his round. He hasn't done really in action. He activated the boat, but you see this portable hole open up on the ground, and Red says, get in. Witted, Tameel, trust me. Tammil looks at the big pool next to them that has now a confused gaslit ogre and a dead goblin.
Starting point is 00:20:18 Looks at all of this stuff kind of like unraveling and is like, well, we don't have another option and climbs into the portable hole. Witted floats over right after and floats down into the hole saying there are precautions for this sort of thing we should all really scan ourselves for any possible bags of hole you know other extra-dimensional
Starting point is 00:20:37 anyway anyway And arm reaches out of the portable hole grabs me yanks me through I land inside all right well you're still right side out so I guess we did cause any dimensional rifting Perfect and red zips up the hole like a pole string
Starting point is 00:20:54 and he'll spend the rest of his turns movement which would probably only be about 25 feet max and then I'll run the next round. Phenomenal. Doran sort of sees this happening and doesn't really well he understands that it must have been red
Starting point is 00:21:10 with the portable hole that came up I've pieced it together they've all just disappeared in front of me and then so Doran sort of stands they're looking as if like maybe red still staying there and he sort of nods a bit he's like I'll move up after you
Starting point is 00:21:26 and he still stands there for just maybe a bit too long red's gone then you feel a pull at your sleeve and whim is just starting to drag you towards the kitchen well yeah because like Doran's still looking like a goblin could cause the least like disruption
Starting point is 00:21:42 if he tried to open the door I love that Doran is the one on whom this entire plan everyone gets their spot like everyone gets their moment to shine okay we are I mean out of initiative order until you guys blow it well Doran thanks to you I see what you did there you were the only one right now who's not invisible
Starting point is 00:22:06 and or otherwise concealed in a portable hole how do you I just I want you to act this yeah do what Doran does fair enough Doran takes the tray that he's been holding and Doran takes the tray and dumps everything else out into the cistern that the over and his other goblin have just fallen. As you drop the remaining food down into the cistern on top of the body of the goblin and the ogre, you see the cartoon bluebirds that were circling around his head dissipate and his eyes start to focus again a little bit so you can tell that he's going to be. be up and at him, like, soon. So he discards the stuff and then immediately starts walking with the empty tray back through the kitchen.
Starting point is 00:22:56 Trying to look as nonchalant as possible, maybe scanning the room for a, he hasn't seen this room yet, so he's scanning it for where the exits are. How do goblins walk? Do they walk like this? Yeah. And then also for where to put this tray that's not going to look totally ridiculous. Doran, you see a number of different means of egress from. this room. On the southern wall, there's a single giant-sized door. On the eastern wall,
Starting point is 00:23:26 there's a set of double doors, again, giant-sized, and then, interestingly, a staircase that leads up from the eastern side of the room just adjacent to the door. As far as the goings-on in this room, there are a lot of scampering goblins. From your perspective, it seems like the general tone in the room is hard work overlaid with a current of fear. And there are, again, the kind of smoky elemental monsters in the southwestern corner of the room that Red had managed to describe to people in his message. As far as where you're going to put your tray, that's up to you, my friend. I feel like, since we're not in initiative order anymore,
Starting point is 00:24:20 Red is bolting ahead as fast as he's ever been. He's running halfway up those stairs. You know, he's using his invisibility to the best of his ability. Yes, yes. And he's going to look like just peek over the top of the stairs. If he can make it there, try to go down to the doors, see if there's any signs to say where these exit to. And obviously move very quickly because he's like patting the little hole in his pocket.
Starting point is 00:24:43 Similarly, Wim recognizes that we've got probably another 30 seconds left on the invisibility spell. She's trying to get somewhere safe without losing sight of Doran because she wants to try to be able to give him some backup if he needs it at his crossing the kitchen endeavor. So she's going to make her way over toward the edge of the stairs. And do I see where the stairs lead? You do. They lead to a different map. Oh, no. Yep.
Starting point is 00:25:12 But we saw Duke Zalto on this floor. You did. Okay. So we don't really want to go upstairs. It depends on you. So do we know where we want to go? We assume we want to go through those doors because we assume that's where Duke Zolto is. Listen, right now we want to get to a place where we can open this hole and get them out and we can be private for a second.
Starting point is 00:25:34 That's priority one. You, Duke, is that's priority for red. I'll be honest, what's going through. And, yeah, for me too. But what's going through Dorn's mind is, while I'm prancing through, I just was yelled at because Duke Zaltos hungry and he doesn't have his food. You know, like finding the most in-charged-looking goblin. No, no.
Starting point is 00:25:53 Let me, I'm just going to clarify this. Duke Zalto, why we were laughing is because Duke Zalto has nothing to do with any of this. That goblin was bringing a tray of food to the giant with the clipboard. I know. I know. That's not Duke Zalto. I know. But we're trying to find out where Duke Zalto's room.
Starting point is 00:26:09 Oh, you're going to pretend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, pretend that Duke Zaltos hungry and, like, to find out where the goblin is. When we questioned the goblin, he said, Duke Zalto is at the feast with everyone else. So all the goblins know where Duke Zalto is. True. So I'm with you on a deception. I'm just trying to take advantage of as much of being in a goblin form as possible and finding out as much information.
Starting point is 00:26:33 Fair enough. I thought you still didn't understand. No, no, no, no, no. Is it make any sense to find out where Duke Zolto's room? is or something like that. Do we want to try and cut them off there? Red, as you quickly run upstairs to gain as much information about the layout of this place as possible, you find yourself looking up into a large hall. There are a couple of giant-sized tables here surrounded by chairs, a huge fireplace set into the northern wall, and a corridor
Starting point is 00:27:09 running south as well as another corridor running east. As far as the occupants of this room go, there is no one here right now, but down the hallway, there are several stone doors indicating more adjoining rooms, you would presume, and as you watch, a fire giant walks down the hall,
Starting point is 00:27:33 opens the door, and goes into one of those rooms. So currently, no one in that room immediately, but the threat of people moving around is there. Man, Duke Salto's sleeping chambers would be pretty smart to be in. What time of day is it? This is a dumb question,
Starting point is 00:27:54 but does it seem like the giants are like eating, resting, and then leaving, or are they like eating and leaving? Yeah, it's like an eat rest leave vibe because you guys showed up late afternoon, if I'm not mistaken. So then maybe the pitch... This is like the war dinner. and they're like in the morning we're going to go and fuck the rest of the country.
Starting point is 00:28:13 Maybe Doren finding out where Duke Zaltos bedroom is is like the best priority. Red sees all that and then heads back down to whim. Meanwhile in the hole. Witt is setting off his firebolt flame thrower just in little spurts to make sure it's working. Timil's kind of awkwardly shuffling our feet back and forth and then she kind of bites the bullet.
Starting point is 00:28:37 She's been meaning to do this for a little bit, but she says, Witted, I am sorry for forcing my memories into your mind. It was done in anger, and I know it's wrong, and I won't do it again. The visor clicks back, and he turns and looks over at you, and his visors, the goggles on his visors, kind of flip open, so you can see his eyes more easily. And he goes, I understand, I don't have powers like yours, but the things that I build, the things I create, sometimes I can't control them. He has the little flames go off again.
Starting point is 00:29:22 I'm burning up oxygen even right now, and that's not very, I think we're okay in Red's hands, to be honest. But I, my mind is a strange place to be in even for me. But you, you coming back here, this isn't easy. And I understand that better now. I don't regret that. He just goes back to fiddling. Well, I hope we can find, I don't know, more consensual ways to communicate our feelings in the future. I would very much like to hear the story of how you became trapped in your armor.
Starting point is 00:30:07 Perhaps now is not the time, but, you know, I think that if we're going to be in each other's lives for a while, then we should come to some sort of understanding. It's hilarious, because when it looked up very much like, oh, I thought we were done with the conversation. We accomplished the goal of the conversation. So you're like, no, but I hope we can communicate better and stuff. And when you ask to hear about him in the armor, he doesn't say anything like he's taking a long pause to think about. And he goes, it was an accident anyone could have made. Frankly, the safety valves were actually working exactly as they were supposed to work. It was just a matter of the torque and tension being, and listen, I'll walk you through the specifics of it some time.
Starting point is 00:30:50 But I think you'll find that Darius, despite anything he claims, I was very thorough in my procedures. Darius is an old friend of mine. And I imagine that's like zooming out slowly in the portable hole. It seems like he is starting to open up a little. Dorn Waltz is through this busy, busy kitchen looking for any goblin that might look somewhat in charge of food. Does he see anybody that might fit that description? No.
Starting point is 00:31:21 In fact, someone sort of runs past you with a wash tub full of giant-sized cutlery, which are like the size of machetes and pitchforks. And he, like, bumps into you and soapy water sloshes all over the side of you and, like, drenches the side of your goblin chef pants that you are illusory pants. And they don't get wet. And he, like, barks a word at you in goblin and, like, continues moving. Um, shit, he'll speak. Um, he, he lets that one past who is looking very busy and doesn't want to, draw too much attention, but tries to find somebody that's near any food, any food being made.
Starting point is 00:32:10 Definitely. Yeah. There's a goblin that's standing at one of the goblin-sized work tables who is busily cutting up tubers, carrots, potatoes. Like they are like. Actually, these tubers are things that Doren would recognize as having come from the underdark. Perfect. They're not like surface level taters. Right, right. Doren walks up and doing his best goblin impression. He says, um, yeah, Duke Salto is, uh, he, I just came and he was yelling. He's hunger and he wants food in his chamber for tonight. But I need to take this tray up to his room, but I don't know where it is.
Starting point is 00:32:53 He sort of barks it at the other goblin. He said he's going to have our heads and anybody I talked to that doesn't help me find. Get his food to his room. man it's good right put you in a position i think it's pretty fair actually i was surprised i was like this is not going to work and then i was like eh they're just kind of like low level like what do they care right the odds that they would think this is malicious sure but the goblins are also not very generous creatures with each other the goblin says better your head than mom oh that's what i said but then he said anybody that doesn't help me they're going to lose their heads too
Starting point is 00:33:30 Dorn's doing his best. He'll look afraid. He kind of is, too. The goblin says, are you new? And he points up the stairs. I just don't remember which door. Get out of my way. And he shoulders past you and dumps all of these cut-up potato,
Starting point is 00:33:51 underdark potatoes, throws him in a pot of boiling water. Doren just takes the loss and heads up the stairs. There's got to be a way to find out which of these rooms. He's got the general direction. Yeah, and Red and Whim's seeing Doran head up run up quickly after. Yeah, yeah. Cool. And I think the minute we get up to the top, Red looks around and seeing the coast is clear,
Starting point is 00:34:19 throws the portable hole on the wall. Cool. I'm sorry, come on out. It's red. And I feel like in that moment, red, like, invisibility dissipates. Yeah, Wim as well. They both melt into existence. and a tumble of just crockery and food.
Starting point is 00:34:38 No, this is Jack's hole. I haven't even used it. So it's like books and shit. Yeah, a filing pad that falls out and just a ton of index cards go all over the floor. It's very, like, unread in there. It's like tons of ancient tomes and, like, ornate woodworking. Well, that's kind of red, but... Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Starting point is 00:34:57 Sorry, I tried to be as quick as I can. Are you guys okay? Red, like, helps you guys out. Yeah, Timil will climb out of the hole and start shoving index cards back in. Whittie just floats out and looks down and shakes his head. We had, we had plenty of time. I bet you're sure the oxygen levels are still sufficient. The, uh, the, um, the, um, the Duke's Alta's lair, uh, his bedroom, it's up here somewhere.
Starting point is 00:35:23 It's in, oh, how many doors are there? There's only, there's only three doors. Oh, thank goodness. one of the goblins said that his room was up here but I just didn't know which one and I was hoping it wasn't going to be two dozen doors looks like we've got to figure out
Starting point is 00:35:39 which one is which did you guys find out anything? No Well they were in the hole Whim shakes her head No we just followed you but look at least you're still a goblin so let's
Starting point is 00:35:51 let's play this smart Alright All right, now I'd like to just thank our wonderful patrons And what I've done is I've just created a list here Let me just pull this out of my Okay, here we go Thank you to Lita J, Christopher Colin Burkart
Starting point is 00:36:24 Adam Frye Merlin Liz Ruthan Reed Trin Lorelei Feldman J.D.
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Starting point is 00:36:50 Kee Hill Misrah Erin Lightning Quinn, Rabida and Cheese, Axel, Abby Mae Birkin, Danny, Seer of Time, Izzy, Vole Control, Pan, Feli, Absolute Ocelli Behavior, Starlight, Clockwork Phoenix, Lechra, A.K. Trash Panda, Amanda Nicole, Hyde, Alicia D, Marimo, Bird, Fisher, Cara, Nibia Aguia, H.D. Bean Fiend, Knox the Nightshark, Sunny, O.B., Luna DiMaria, Luke, Wanderer Fenn, Caspian, Zill Street, Liz, This Guy Could, Emerson Forsberg, Martina, Karen Duley, Minty, Roses So Fenvi, Hydrus, Lysanne Cluckner, Jack, Celeste Jedlick, Eli Davis
Starting point is 00:37:43 Grace Circe Marang Ran Gillespie Nick D Jellybean Slate Blue Flowers Shonk Jane
Starting point is 00:37:52 Veritas Tell Pat Trat Laura Busing Star O3 Snick Snick Snack Jaron Blair
Starting point is 00:38:00 Nukuom Sakura Sparks Trinity True EC Elzebub Delicate Jaws Nosts
Starting point is 00:38:10 Swuk Bop Zbaltazar, Ad Jack's Art, Jinks, Conzo Como, and Teabad. Thank you again for listening, and I guess you'll hear us again soon.

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