Dice Shame - 2-16 | 'Break the Spell'

Episode Date: December 15, 2022

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: swearing, violence.Part of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This worked the first time we met? We are having a stealth argument. What the hell do you think you guys are doing? They got cabin downstairs. I did not use a skull this time. Of course, I'm joking, I'm joking. Just go, they're already taken. Look in the window right beside you.

Honey, I swear, I swear, it's normally not like this. Oh, good job. You ready for this, Ork Splitter? There's always a sound effect, Alex. God damn it. We didn't need a noise. Look, a distraction. We'll discuss this later.

You're greeted by something that may... Horrify? Delight and surprise you. Disappoint. Arouse? Welcome back to Dyshame. This is Season 2, Episode 16, Break the Spell. MVP this week is Joel Kormode, who sent us a very lovely email.

Joel was midway through Episode 115 when they wrote us to say how much they've been enjoying the show. Guess you'll be hearing your name pretty soon, buddy. Thanks, Joel. Thanks so much for listening. Shadows at the Door is a podcast that draws on the haunted landscapes of classic folk horror. It lifts the veil on some of your favorite ghost stories and presents new fables throughout a series of macabre audio dramas. It's also currently funding its third season on Kofi. If you love horror shows, give them a listen, and if you can, support the development of season three.

Mark Nixon and David Alt are two of the best creators in horror and personal friends, so it's definitely worth checking out. Follow them at Shadows at Door on Twitter or Shadows at the Door.com. for details and links. All right, shall we do this? Woo! Yeah. So I started, I don't know, I bought the Mass Effect Legendary Edition

whenever that came out, and it was only like a couple of months ago where I started replaying them all again. So I think I'm just at, like, I'm right at the end of the third one, and I'm trapped. I always do this to myself. Like, I was like, I got to pick all the good options.

I want to get the best ending. I want to be the nice guy. I want to whatever. But I, unless I, like, go into the game being like, I can never, I'm doing on purpose going to see what all the bad things are and be a jerk because it's just so easy to identify with the characters and be like, oh, that, I wouldn't do that? Why don't I? Are you guys always the good? Do you pick something in the middle of the thing? Are you ever, like, if you're playing a game, can you be the- It's a great question, you know? I've tried it. I've tried the same way, you know, like I'll even replay a game that I really like, like, Fallout 3 or something. And I go, okay, you know, this time, I'm going to go zero charisma, 10 strength, and zero intelligence. I'm just going to pick this answer, and I just get bored of it. I'm going to be a rock. Yeah, but, you know, and I think for certain people, playing a role is fun, and then

for certain people like myself, role playing is fun. And like, what I mean by that is, I like to put myself into the character. It's no different than red. I'm a big, dumb idiot, and so is red. And I enjoy that because, well, all I mean to say. is if someone were like, hey, here's the character you're going to play tonight for D&D or whatever, and it's going to be this character. And it doesn't really jive with my, or I have to play it for any amount of time, I get bored real fast. I mean, it's like anything, you've got to find that

facet of yourself you connect with to a character, for sure. And even if I am a big dumb galute at times, I don't want to think of myself that way. Yeah, yeah. It can be a real challenge, though. I think just wanting to get all the endings. But also sacrificing that aspect of yourself where like maybe I don't want to, I don't know, kill this dog or whatever it might be asked of you in the game. The dog killing question. A staple of all modern RPGs. Classic. It's a classic scenario.

Like if I'm playing, then I always feel like I'm like my brain goes like, time to be a nice person, time to be good. live the fantasy of saving the do the fantasy of just being morally good and then but if I'm if I am running a game if I am your DM you better believe that I'm going to be putting you in situations in which you are just going to be leaving

going are we the bad guys oh my God what do we do so I play like very morally gray stuff I think just because I get to be like a like a horrible malevolent god and then as a player i'm like ooh i just want to be nice huh malevolent what that's hilarious oh no i said that's the word of the day all the bells and whistles go off one million downloads the big confetti fogs you know it's kind of funny how you put it like that too and everybody's had a little bit

of a different take on it and the way i take that your question Rob is I like I've tried before to play like a really evil character and make evil decisions and like do things opposite to what I would do because I don't think of myself like I feel like I'm the farthest thing from evil always and I end up being the good guy for some reason so I don't know what that means but I like it tugs at me morally and I and I can never like follow through on it It's less satisfying. It's not that satisfying, but it's also like, I don't know. I just like, I'm like, oh, but I wouldn't kill the guy.

So why am I? I'm like, oh, I feel bad. Like, it's a character in a video game. What do I care about killing him? Who cares? If I wanted to be evil, I just go play the Sims and just take all the ladders out of the pools and be a horrifying monster. Everybody in the pool and we're different. That's different.

See, because in the Sims, you're anonymous. You're just God. You can just be, you know, people can get angry at you, but you just get to sit behind the screen laughing. But in like a sky rim, you know, but it's interesting to say that, Alex, it's the same way. Like I've tried, you know, you come out of Hellgard or whatever, and I know this isn't in the game, but let's say there's like a choice, path A, path B. And I always instinctively choose path A. The times I try to choose path B, I'll walk 100 feet and go, no, no, this doesn't feel right. Because like, I'm playing true to the way I would want to do it.

Like there's wiggle room. But when it comes to the main strokes, especially it's funny, like, years will go by, I'll play a game that I haven't played in a long time, and I'll pick a choice thinking it was opposite of what I originally chose, and it ends up being the same one anyway. I'm like, oh, no, I remember this. If it's easier to do those kinds of anti-moral

or morally gray choices, when it's less of like a human thing, like we were saying like the Sims, where you yourself are not a person represented in the game. So the choices that you might make that would damage someone or hurt them, it's less of a moral quandary for you. And I'm thinking about like, you know, lemmings, the game where you're like, well, they'll all get squashed or fall to their deaths.

And it's fine. It's kind of funny, honestly. It's like playing some city and you have that moment where you just set the whole place on fire and then you just reload your save and you're like, yeah, like you allow a tornado to come and take everyone away. It's interesting because like the dark picture anthology, games kind of walk that line between you take on a character at times but at other times you kind of just play the narrator but I feel like you don't feel bad about a death but you feel

responsible for it you know what I mean because there's no real right or wrong in that game but I think that's a good kind of middle line and that's an interesting question perspective but my real question is are there people that play these games I mean there obviously are that play the evil path and just like really lavish that like really joy the burning it all it's also that a different sort of escapist fantasy for sure somebody's got to like want to there are also like people out there they're just not good doing people probably play video games let that be their outlet that have no evil people exist in the world thankfully most of those plot lines just kind of end when you do the kind of wrong you know

so this is where I'm really fascinated like I'm I'm near in the end of the third mass effect game so it's 140 hours into this. But to think about you could do that again, the game is just as long, but you end up with like half the characters die somewhere in the middle and get replaced. Like I think I would feel less connected to some of these people just because obviously they're different people or whatever.

But it's a big commitment to play out an experiment like that for sure. Yeah. That's why YouTube videos of the endings, the different endings exist. Well, there you are. That's what I always do. And I'm like, hey, what was the other ending? I remember when Mass Effect 3 ending came out and people all shat on it.

I really liked all three of them. I thought they're really good. I feel like it's probably a lot harder to make those poorly advised decisions in a video game because people make amoral choices in real life for real benefit, right? But in a video game, when you're making those bad choices, you don't actually get any reward for them. Like, no one is going to give you that. Some people throw real money into skins and stuff. But that's not a moral.

No, no. What I mean to say is if you can spend real money on an in-game aesthetic, then you clearly have a connection to a game that goes beyond my understanding. That's fair. You know what I mean? Like, if you could take it that far, if you're like, no, I'll definitely spend $30 to look like Batman in this game, then maybe you do have a motivation that is beside yourself purely for the character.

You know what I mean? Well, I think the other thing, too, is that like a lot of video games, games like the problem is that like you can do the you can do the evil run and be like meher and the little like mustache twirling villain but then then they give you the bad ending and they're like also you're a bad person you should feel bad and i was like well you gave me the option and then you tell me to go to hell that's what i mean that's what i mean because that shit doesn't happen in real life like bad people don't often get that kind of very black and white comeuppance where people are you know you have to to come to jesus and whatever the fuck unless you're

believe in the Bible or whatever. Come on, Jesus. Real life rarely tells satisfying stories until we go in part a narrative on it, right? Like the art of crafting a story or telling a story is to be able to say, well, this was good and this is bad, or this was the point I was trying to make, or, huh, look at this shit, if it's a tragedy or something. Sure. But in real life, you can just own a sweatshop and enslave people and you get rich.

Yeah, yeah. No one shows up and is like, and you do. did a bad job. And so here's the bad thing for you. No, no, but at the same token, you can, you can own slaves and become the heroes of a nation who get printed on all the money and everybody celebrates you every year. You can be, you can be Christopher Columbus and have a holiday forever because you had a really, somebody tell a really great story about you, right? Like, they're, it's crazy. But you can also frame it differently, right? Like, that's, that's where it gets into, how do you want to craft a narrative around the chaotic fullness of

events that happened? Well, and I think an important takeaway here is that a lot of end games are described as good, bad, or neutral from like us. But for a lot of the games that I have played that I have walked out of like a bad ending, they're not really like this was the bad ending. Like there are some. In Fallout, you can like nuke a city early on. But in later Fallout games, most of the time it's just like, in this scenario, you chose this and here's what happened. In this scenario, you chose this and here's what happened. And it's like, not like you failed, it's just like, here's the path you took. Like, Dying Light 2 was the last game I played.

And at the end, you have a choice to, like, save this girl or save this dude. This dude screwed you over at one point and this girl screwed you over at one point as well. And it's like, neither is really a good. It's funny, actually, because I guess I got the bad ending, but I didn't realize it until I watched. And this is what I mean that I googled and YouTube was like, here's the bad ending. I was like, well, that's the one I got it. do it. So I don't necessarily blame a lot of the games as well. Yes. Well, we're we're piloting towards the bad ending spoiler on dice shame when we all know we're piloting to we're going towards

the UFO ending. Shout out to people who played Silent Hill. Only one percent of people who have played Storm King's Thunder have gotten the UFO ending. I'm really excited to show you guys we're the top one percent of look up the spoilers to make sure we have. Anyway I guess let's go to this place called Roswell? I'm so excited for it to turn out for it to turn out to be all controlled by a Shiba Inu. Yeah. All right. Shall we do it then?

Let's play to find out. Let's play some dungeons and dragons. Don't tell me what to do. Red and Mari, you are for the time being alone in this study. You hear the man in the library bravely trying to tell these goo monsters that you guys went upstairs and also about tariffs. Mari, keep an eye on them, see if they come in here. God, he's so boring.

Red starts pacing, and he's like snapping his fingers trying to cast minor illusion, and obviously it's not working. It's not going to work. It's not going to work. I know. But what the hell could cause that? You can't just come to a place and do something and cast a spell that shuts all magic off. There's got to be some thing that they did, some person in control of this. Yeah, there has to be something because, well,

we weren't casting magic before, but I could still feel. feel it and now I feel nothing. It's like being in a void. Look, look, the boys have caverns of what a fuck his name is. They got him. Why don't you and I try to find the person or the thing that's causing whatever this magic stoppy thing is? Yeah. If we can find the cause of the root of that while they keep cabins safe, well, well maybe we can give everybody enough time to properly take a crack at these boys. Yeah, I'm not of much use right now without without any magic this is oh marie don't say that but you're not watching the door marie turn around watch i'm watching the door i'm watching the door oh sorry uh yeah no yeah you're lots of you yeah but i'm not very

strong she thinks sort of embarrassededly about like trying to like push the the statue and she's like don't worry about that it's great okay look if you were going to be uh controlling you know something like this a person or a thing you know where would you want to be probably it's probably the basement right somewhere where I could stay hidden but they have the basements probably or up higher but I don't know this it just it moved through here like a like a wave

but the boys went upstairs we heard that so at the very least if they see something they can deal with it why don't you and I head out to the garden head back around to the kitchen and head downstairs I'm pretty sure I saw stairs down there when we ran past yeah sounds good we can we can see if there's something down there all right and Red walks over to a window

and like cranks it open and he just takes a peek outside to the gardens. There are patrols of these dudes outside walking back and forth. It seems like the grounds are crawling with them. Ousing with them. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Yes. There's a lot of bad guys outside, but don't worry. I'll cast pass without trace and all we have... What? Red. What? You can't do that. What? You can't pass. Right. Right. Right. Sorry. You have passed without trace. I didn't mean to step on your toes. You cast pass without trace. She's just rubbing her forehead. She's we got it's wrong you have another tension headache i do yes but not these always happened when you

and i have together oh right magic right right right sorry we have passed without trace is magic too yeah it all is it all the good stuff that's fine uh i i can do this and red sort of just like leans at the window counting and when a patrol passes he's like all right let's go he slinks out the window is there anything in the room that marie could throw like out the window to like distract someone further away 100%. There's an ink well. There's a whole bookshelf. There's a decorative skull paperweight. Ooh. Countless little trivial boxes of ornaments. She grabs the decorative skull paperweight, which I think, I like to imagine, has like a bunch of pencils jammed in the eye holes. Nice. Someone's been storing them there. Or I guess quills. I don't know, whatever they got. She motions to Red just to wait for a second. Red's already outside. And she looks like, and she looks up. She's just.

He's like, God damn it. And Red's outside like, God damn it, where is she? And she rears back and she throws as hard as she can this thing out sort of into the bushes outside the house as one of these patrols comes by. Okay, this you're not good at. I love this fucking idea that Red like waits for this patrol to pass. He's like, let's go. He climbs outside because he's good at stealth and he's waiting. And then this loud fucking object just smashes like 12 feet away from.

And he's like, what? How are you doing? And he climbs back inside. So, Mari, I want to find out how good you did at your throw, because that's a strength skill, is it? I really hope it, like, it hits a tree, like, five feet from where I'm trying to hide. Let's make a quick athletics check for me. Mari is the least cool member of this party right now. I rolled a 14.

Okay, okay, not bad. So it goes into the middle bushes, not the far ones, but not the ones that red is directly in. And like the two patrols that I was waiting between both. turn back towards me and I'm like, fuck, fuck! And I just lie flat in the bush beneath the window. Vague murmuring of these guards interested in

the bush for a minute. One of them picks up the skull and's like, and yeah, it takes a second before they depart again. I'm trying to distract them. Red pops back up and says, You don't distract patrols. You just wait till they pass

because a noise means we're out here. You just stay. quiet. We didn't need a noise. This worked the first time we met. And then because you're making so much noise like another patrol comes back. He goes back down. Back upstairs with Jack and Doran. Doran, they're fucking this whole thing up. Tell them how we work for the lurker in the deep and they're too early. We had this. You're saying that to me as I'm helping you up from the ground and I say, well, you tell them. They're not going to believe me. You're the one with the So the three of them

have left the room with cabin already and you hear them going back downstairs and there's one still in the room kind of like guarding over you and watching as you guys write each other and start garbling about this. Doran with backstreet and a lot of pride stands up and walks out of the room

just passing the goblin. He says what the hell do you think you guys are doing? Yelling at the three that are carrying cabin down the stairs. Yeah, they don't stop. And the other guy who's in the room he just like punches you in the back of the head and he's like get back in there oh fuck it's taking everything of me to not chop these guys in half so doran he just punch in the back of the head and he turns around he pulls the goopy monster straight to his

face he says do you realize what you're doing you're fucking it up for all of us roll an intimidation check oh okay shitty 11 doran you see in his eyes that he doesn't doesn't give a shit and a big gob of mucus just drips onto your face from how close this guy is being held to you. And he puts both of his hands against your chest and he tries to push you away. But you're such a strong boy that he really struggles about it. Jack, you see Mari and Red sneaking through some bushes outside. You see that there's like patrols and Red and Mari are like doing the video game thing where they're like hiding. and then waiting and hiding again.

Right. And arguing. You can't hear what they're saying, but you just see Red being like, fuck sike. Jack goes over and tries to slide a window open and maybe toss down, you know,

something off the dresser right by them to get them to look up without, like, shouting. And another skull smashes and Red just goes, what the fuck are you doing? When we get back, we are having a stealth argument

about when and when not to use distractions. I did not use a skull this time. It's Jack's little precious face In the second floor window Jack, it's a sheer drop You don't think you'd be able to make it I don't know I just want to give them The knowing glances and say

They got cabin downstairs I don't know that that glance is not good What? They're taking them downstairs What's the effective range of the glances Why is squinting at him? 30 foot I don't have my glasses

What is he saying? They got cabin He's not saying anything He's just giving an knowing glance He said something about the woods Just meaningful glances It's something about I don't know, some cottage.

Something about a camp? We're going to a cottage? We're going to find the thing that's causing no magic. You deal with cabin. Look in the window right beside you. They look in. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we see Cabin being dragged and we're like, cool, you get him back. We'll get the thing that's causing the magic. This is on you. Fine. Good luck. Meanwhile, Doren, how does this altercation end between you and Mr. Gou? Yeah, well, Doren loses his temper and he's like,

you really pissed me off. And he, Doren, like, launches and punches him right in the face. It, uh, it knocks him back a few steps. And he kind of shakes it off and he, like, scrubs a hand across where you broke his goo nose. And you see, there's, like, disgusting blood dripping out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, uh, there's, like,

fury in his eyes and he takes a couple steps towards you he's ready to go but in that moment where he's stunned and pushed back that gives me just enough time to grab my axe off my back and i say you're ready for this orc splitter and she doesn't answer you i said are you ready for oh fuck it doran attacks dorin pulls his axe back and slices through this like a hot knife through jello which I've never done, but I'm sure it would work fine. I'm sure it smells great also. Spilling jelly guts all over the floor and causing the monster to squeal and scream in painful exuberance.

Gross. Thanks Alex. I assume. And the Alexes of switched rules. There's always a sound effect, Alex. You get one. And now I tap out again. Jack, you see Doran dispatch.

your lone guard in the room and the two of you are are by yourselves now. Yeah, I think Jack's going to sneak up to the door and peek out to see if he can get any eyes on Zethundrick. Yeah, he's gone. Dora like pushes you out the door. Just go. They're already taking them. Listen, I cracked that door open. It looks like a patio over there. Why don't you go out that door and take a peek? I don't think we can take three of them. So let's go peek out the other door and see what's out there. You look through

this shattered, destroyed, gorgeous piece of woodworking and you see that outside there is a lovely little sitting area there's a table and some benches and some potted plants out here

and you have a great vantage point of Red and Marie regaining access to the manor downstairs I'm just saying you don't need to throw anything because they didn't know we were out here I'm sorry I was just trying no it's okay I was like

It worked the first time. How do you think I almost got you out of that thing that you were in when we met? Well, that was important because they were looking at me. That's when you throw it because, like, it doesn't matter. You tried, and that's what's important. While they're outside, Mari sort of is trying to see if she can do any sort of magic. No, it's not working. There's something very powerful that is governing all the magic use on this property, it seems.

It's okay. We'll get to the bottom of it. I'm sure Jack feels very impotent. Let's be thoughtful of that when we see him again. Poor flaccid magic user Oh no But the wand just flops over Like a

Oh no Like a true magician's wand And it's like really small It's bigger when the magic is working The orb deflates like a balloon It's a grower not a show Honey I swear I swear it's normally not like this Normally it works

It's just really cold Pass me my blue pills Yeah you like pull out your dagger And you tap it on something And like no no petals nothing she just it makes her it just kind of bums her out she's like oh my cool dagger it's okay it's still cool yeah all right i think this is the kitchen and red stealths in yeah you open what essentially amounts to a patio door to find two people they're just like in a shadowy corner at this bistro

table it's kind of like a sitting room in here and they're just like wildly making out i don't even think they've noticed what's going on. I don't think they know that's okay. I mean, good power to them. Yeah, what they're doing that, they're doing that terrible trope where like people are like,

someone's coming, quick, kiss me. And they've just been doing that whenever anyone comes in. Yeah, and they like, there was actually some chemistry there. Yeah,

they're like, quick, somebody else is coming. Let's, let's just do it. Let's just kiss again. Absolutely kiss. It works for us last time.

I think we stumbled across something. Are they kissing right now? Yes. Do they know there's people breaking in? I don't, I don't know, but I don't, I don't really want to disturb them. Should we interrupt them? Maybe just, maybe just let them have this moment.

We only have, we have, we have so few. Yeah, that's true. Oh, Paul. Oh, you're the best kisser in this half of the realm. Oh. Oh. Oh, I think we should keep moving. Yeah, let's keep going.

This is, this room's a little steamy. As you re-enter the hallway and the dining room now is to your, south again you hear like just a lot of commotion there's some screaming there's a couple of it sounds like a couple of people are maybe fighting or running around upstairs it's hard to really know what's going on so from kind of all the rooms around you you're hearing a lot of commotion but right now the hallway is very dark and quiet there's actually a slick of blood seeping into the carpet on one side shit oh all right stick to the shadows yeah and red like do do do do do do do do and like hides halfway through the hall and then like waves mary forward yeah she just tries

to quietly like pad along on the floors mm-hmm she she she's kicked off her practical heels and it's just been moving barefoot at this point nice they're just going to click and she's like nope can't have that no no even in a thick pile of carpet like this it's still distinct it feels so nice so I'm sure it does yeah especially after the snow you're standing in a lot of blood right now Oh, oh, God. Squishy. Red, like, there's this, I imagine there's this vase with, like, these tall sticks in it, you know, like, bamboo shoots or whatever. Sure.

And he just looks at one and he, like, takes one. He, like, tries to bend it. And he just puts it kind of in his back. He's like, I think I'll just make myself a bow. I'm collected as we go. Mari also takes one, but she spins it because she's not that bad with the staff. She's okay with one. I could have done that.

How showy? I mean, who are you trying to impress? It's just me. She taps him on the head and she just, she goes, mostly just you. Fine. I could spin it too. Red tries to spin it and he drops it. Shut up.

All right, we should keep moving. Red heads to the door on the end and he listens at it for a second before opening us a crack and looking in. You open the door a crack to reveal what looks like some kind of servants' quarters. There's people who are of like a low rank probably eat a meal here. there are some hooks by an outside facing door. So this is like a servant's entrance, basically. And there are a couple of other doors that lead north and south of here.

Yeah, Red enters. Mari follows. And Red just shuts the door. She goes to one of the doors and just puts an ear against it to see if you can hear anything against it on the north door. You do. You hear a goo guy and another goo guy fighting about something.

They're like, you suck. Who? No, you suck. They're fighting about Descartes. Just because you took one college course doesn't mean you get to... They're fighting about what exactly was on the wall of Plato's cake. No, it's a big sphere like a globe, not flat. You just need more ginsen root in your diet.

You just got to think positive. You can bring anything you want into your life. Just think positive. Have you read this book called The Secret? Well, everyone's depressed now. You're just faking it for attention. It's seasonal adjustment disorder. I promise, hon.

You're going to be feeling right as rain in a couple of days. What are you here, Mary? I think one of them's trying to manifest something, but mostly just his dreams. Like a demon or something? No, I think just... Let's fuck him up! No, no, she puts her hand against him and goes, no, I think he just wants to go back to college. Hey, we should get in there and question one of them.

Maybe they know what the hell's going on. Well, there's two of them. So we kill one, and we question the other. All right. No? No, we should talk to one of them, at least. Okay, you pick, all right? And red kicks open the door

and he stands there and he goes, which one, Mary? What are they wearing? One of them is totally naked. Most of his features are sort of rounded off and melty. The other one's got like a little

sports jacket on, on top and like maybe kind of bikini shorts. Which one, Mari? Oh, God. She just goes, oh, the nude one. all right and I kill the other one

I just like javel in the like the bamboo just goes straight through the thing's fucking head and like the ooze comes out the other end of the bamboo as it like sinks in the wall behind just goes

wait did you mean kill or save the other one? Oh it doesn't matter anymore and she runs over and she kicks the other one in the chest just like gives him a big boot and then if he as he reels back

she points the bamboo that she's holding or the reed or whatever it is that she's holding up against the tip of his nose. She's like, Red, I feel like you have some questions to ask this guy. Doren and Jack. Jack's scanning the, any party can see outside here to see if there's any carriages or if they have a clear like getaway plan. Standing on the balcony on this patio. Yeah. It's so strange, Jack. You see these patterns of these mutant invaders. They're trained. racks through the snow. You can calculate that they've been planning this for quite some time, right? It seems very precise. You can see the places where they broke into the properties from the

gated perimeter. All of these entrance points were used, but there doesn't seem to be any kind of escape vehicles waiting. Here's my thought, Doran. They've come in from the outside, but these creatures are sewer monsters start to finish. If we're going to beat them to the place they're taking cabin, we got to find where it all flows downhill. So they're going underground. Okay. Well, is there another way in from standing on this balcony? Is there another window?

Is there a... Yeah, so there's another window on the balcony that leads into another room. And you could definitely break in if you wanted to. Otherwise, you're going to be walking around on the roof. Jack goes, and just as is about to, like, put his fingers on the bottom and he va up, he says, Doran, this one's on you and steps away. It makes room. No, Jack, check if it's locked first. This is a, this is a test. I know. Yeah, Jack tries to lift it sensitively.

It opens. Nice. See? And I almost threw myself through it. What's inside? Yeah, you're looking into another dark bedroom. This bedroom is not terribly well-appointed, nor is it shabby, probably a guest room. that's rarely used. There's a double bed and two single beds, an armchair.

You hear the sounds of arguing from goo monsters and guests of the manor probably coming from the main room that's sort of out towards the center of the manor, but the room that you're looking into right now is quiet. They've got to dump the chamber pot somewhere, Doran. We just got to find it and figure out how they're going to get back into the sewers.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And as Doran's moving his way through the room, he's like mumbling to himself. He's like, I still don't understand why people keep separating all these beds. It just seems so awkward to me. And he moves across the room and he pokes his head out of this door. Just opens it a crack.

Just to see if the hallway's clear. Make a stealth check, Doran. It's going to be a 16. Oh, Doran. You crack the door open to reveal a lot. long hallway at the end of which you see many doors leading north and south this seems to be probably the guest wing and there is a a guard here one of these goo creatures but his back is to you and he's kind of just waiting at a closed door that would lead back into this main stairway area

Hmm There's a guard out there What do you say You lure him in here And I'll just chop his head off As soon as he pokes his head in the door Oh, okay Yeah

Squill like a child, Jack Oh god Hello Hello Drop the handkerchief Like a bug's bunny-esque thing Yeah Oh no

Helminbin Jack sticks his head around the door and he's holding his wand in his hand and he says, do you know who I can talk to? This thing seems broken. The guard like whirls around and cocks his head. And then he ducks back in the way and like cues him up for Doran when he runs through.

Two seconds later, the guard just walks through the doorway. Yeah, Doran just like chops a hat off as he comes to the door. Thank goodness it was the monster and not Elmer Fudd. The axe raises like this. wild goose egg from atop his head. He stumbles back. Bluebirds go around and he keels over. Steff as

the board. You guys are alone in the hallway. What do you do next? Well, let's go through. I mean, there's got to be a quick access downstairs through this way. Do you just go through and open doors until you find something likely? Yeah. I don't Servant's Corns

usually have like... There should be a back stair down. There should be a servant's entrance. Yeah, yeah. So let's just keep kind of poke our heads in these doors. Yeah, one of them's got to lead down. As you do, you reveal a number of other living quarters, and then finally, the last door you open reveals a dark staircase that heads down. Uh-huh. You're right, Jack. Back to the interrogation.

So you're telling me that this book tells you that thoughts can manifest good things in your life? It's a really good read, is what I'm trying to say. I don't like reading. Oh, my God. Marys swings over and she like, she wraps red in the head and then she turns back over to this goo monster man and pushes hard against his chest. She's her foot still against him. She's just been holding him there against her with her like with her leg up for this time. And she goes, you just have to believe in what you need.

You're not to believe in right now? What happened to all the magic? What did you do? It's all part of the plan. What's the plan? Is this part of the novel, too? No, I mean, that's a whole different book. The plan.

It follows the secret. That's right. It's very good. It's on Oprah's magical book club. I got nothing. It's already too late for you guys. This is all happening perfectly, exactly as it was supposed to. What?

Shut up. Where's the magic dispelling thing? when she marie moves her foot down and then she just presses against his neck with his with her with her hand she's just she's furious because she just wants her goddamn magic back what did you do

and where is whatever it is whatever you use to cause this magic dispelling thing to happen okay okay listen it's it's already too late for you guys you keep saying that just tell us where the fuck it is it's in the dining room you've been looking at it all evening

It's the ice sculpture And he sort of starts laughing to himself That like sick half-dead orcackle Like I knew I was right to try to push that over It would have been so cool too I knew you were right to All right

And he's like, we're good though, right now Red kills him Just like kicks his face in Squish His foot, like, goes into the guy's head and it just, like, after he gave you a personal recommendation, but come on. I don't read. Red takes his pole out of the other guy's head. All right.

Yeah. I don't think those books work anyways. I mean, like, it's the kind of thing where, like, I understand wanting to manifest your best thing. Oh, it's total bullshit. Yeah, but, like. It's pseudoscience. It is, so, you know. Look, Doren reads them.

So what does that tell you? Can Doren read? He looks at the pictures. Okay. That makes more sense. Redhead's. back out to the main room, and he puts his ear to the door that they entered through. We might need to find another way back to the dining room.

Yeah. And he listens. And we've got to find a way to destroy that, because that thing is big and heavy. As you listen in the hallway, you can hear sounds of people moving around directly on the other side of the door. I don't feel good about that. Let's head south. And Red opens the door to the south.

Red, you open the door to reveal a poorly lit series. of hallways and doorways. This is a rabbit Warren that speaks to the presence of servants' quarters for sure. Yes, this seems safer. Mari follows him. Shh, I hear someone around the corner.

Yeah, quiet, quiet. I hear them too. I hear someone. And red light hides up against the wall. They're coming this way. Get ready to swing the axe. Whatever the fuck comes around this corner, I am going to fucking kill it.

Mari hears that they're whispering their names and she's like, Jack Doran Marry Red Wait just give me this This could be our only chance

To take him out What? No no it's fine It's Jack and Doran over there Yeah but he's got no magic Wait Okay on three Jack right Wait wait

Wait wait Jack Oh you're saying it's Jack there Yeah Oh right I'm saying it's Jack and Doran over there Yeah I think it's Marry and Red over there

Yeah but like like if we ever had won't a chance Yeah it's true Of course We could finally take them down Are you joking? Are you joking? Because I'm joking. Are you telling the truth right now?

I wouldn't kill Jack. I totally wouldn't kill Jack. No, I think I owe him after last time, so I wouldn't kill him. Yeah, me too, yeah. I feel like we do. We come around the corner and we see each other in the hallway. Friendly, come and throw. You friendly?

Yeah. They're taking Zesendrick to the sewers, we think. We've got to find the way out the bottom of this place. You were supposed to be in charge of Cabin Zescentric. Yeah, yeah, I know. But it is what it is. What are you guys doing? Hey, we found the thing that's causing the magic to dispel.

Oh, where is it? It's the ice sculpture. It's that big, horrible ice sculpture. At least I broke a finger off of it. I feel better. It's great, you know, it's the ice sculpture, but we got to cut them off before they get to the sewers. We've seen what these guys can do once they're in there. They'll get away from us.

We've got to get cabin first. Do you think they're going to kill cabin? I don't know what they're going to do, but wherever they're taking them, probably to that thing. I don't want to visit it again, so let's get him here before he goes into the sewers. You hear a man's scream echo from someone. Where, just like that. Oh, my God. They're torturing him.

We got to go. They filled him with goose. I don't know who's being tortured. Us or them. Yes. Anyway, yeah, shit's getting dire. All right, let's go. And Red runs around the corner and throws open a door to see a set of stairs leading down.

Follow the scream. Look, we don't have any of our skills or our magic. So, uh, Doran, you go first. Okay, but we'll stay quiet. Clunk, clunk, wink, wink. Stop saying wink when you wink. It's so loud. Doran, as you lead the way down into the darkness,

you are greeted by something that may... You're greeted by something that may... Horrify? Delight and surprise you. Disappoint. Arouse. Doreen, you are greeted by the most beautiful wine cellar that you have ever seen. Beyond.

which there are several doors that are flung open and you hear the sound of screaming coming from deeper within. My God, they've got a 125 year old bottle of Shazui. Oh my God. Look at this. Darling, someone's being tortured in the next room. Right, right. Just grab a bottle of wine. I don't have anywhere to put it right now. That bag of holding is... Jack grabs a bottle and just kind of shrugs improvised weapon? Hey, why not, right? I'm going to need two. grabs two. Mari just takes a big swing out of one and it just smashes it on the ground.

Oh shit. She's ready to fucking go. She's ready to go. Let's do this. As you move forward into the darkness past the open doorways, you see that there is this well carved in stone in this basement room.

Well, well, well. Probably an opening into the cellars below. These ooze, soldiers have cabin he's on his knees and they have his hands behind his back and they have his head pressed up against this sewer grate beside the well and you see these goo tendrils that are reaching up out of the sewer and they've wrapped themselves entirely around his head and he's screaming through these like these muffled goopy tendrils Hey ugly

And Red chucks his fucking javelin At the head of the thing holding him down One of these creatures' heads Just explodes as you skewer it And then everything springs into action all at once Cabin is still laying there Getting his brain sucked But these other creatures launch at you

Look! A distraction! And he runs in trying to slash the tentacles below his head. I mean below as in a picture of hanging over so not his neck but like above his head. So you're not cutting his head off.

Generally avoiding the man avoiding the man's head. Surgically removing cabin from the tento. I thought you were just going for all of it. Trying not to slash the tender man flesh underneath so much as just, yes. So Doran blazes

in trying to cut the tentacles that are holding the head of Cabin. I can't remember his last name. Jack, you recognize these tentacles as belonging to the creature that had almost taken your life. And you hear a voice in your head. Ah, Johann Iveben Page, without the powers of your ring, you are as susceptible as any peasant. And yet I have use for you. Or did you think I would let you pass freely from my layer, clinging to life?

And as Doran charges in and slashes at the tentacles, it falls away and splashes into the sewer underneath. You hear it resonating in your head. You will lead me straight to them. It is your greatest flaw, your overestimation of your own powers. and even more ridiculous the love for your friends. Jack, what, come on, we gotta get in there. It's in my head.

Red and Doran are like slashing at these guards and like Mari and Jack are just having kind of a moment. Come on, everyone, don't worry about it, it's fun. Mari looks at him and she goes, we'll discuss this later, and she runs over, and she just bodies one of these guards, just ungracefully, just slams herself into one. Jack Stens has come back to him the next second two

And he's expertly tossing one of these You know Champagne bottle at the head of one Cork comes out and it you know Flies around the room afterwards Yeah Everyone has showered in a fine mist of champagne And ooze blood

This is glorious Hiya Red smashes a bottle And stabs something in the face with it It's like trying to punch at you And then just weakly Blah falls He stabs it in the forehead And then like it starts going

And he unscrews the cap and all the goo starts pouring out of the broken bottle. Mari grabs cabin and pulls him up and tries to pull him back over towards the door. Yeah, he gratefully just clings to you. He's a dead weight, but you see life in his eyes. All right, come on, buddy. Let's just get you out of here.

Let's just get out of here as fast as we can. Jesus Christ. Mm-hmm. Who? Let's go smash that ice sculpture. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You guys, like, dispatch all.

all these guys, the tentacle creature floats off down the sewer and the four of you plus cabin return to the main level where you still hear some chaos happening in the dining hall. Yeah, I like put cabin over my shoulders like a limp body. Because he can't, he's like unconscious, right? He's conscious, but he's very weak. Okay, yeah, I throw him over my shoulders, like a sack of potatoes, I guess. Yeah, you're like fireman carrying him. Yeah.

And because you're so short, his like feet and his hands are dragging on the ground. yeah and as we go up the stairs like gong gong well he's like hitting the walls every time exactly he has like 15 head injuries by the time we get to the top of the stairs and you bust open the doors and you see just like noble like women and men just like crying and hiding there's obviously been some kind of attempt at like a stand being made that had been quashed and like shit went down in here both of the tables are over on their sides. Yeah, it's a whole thing.

You deal with that thing. I'm going to get my bag back and red just bursts in the door and heads to the front hall. On three, let's flip the table with the ice sculpture. I think we're going to need some help because that thing weighs a ton. Mari storms into the middle of the room and she's streaked with goo and with all this

stuff, but she's got this look of fury on her face because she does not want to be in this state where she cannot find that magic. It's just, it's awoken something in her. She doesn't like being there. She turns to the people

in the room who are hiding and she just goes, there are more of us in this room than there are of them and she points at these goo men who are there and she goes, the thing that is causing the problem is that and she points to that and she goes this night has been ruined, this

night has been destroyed and if you want to bring it back if you want to prove yourselves in this moment and show your strengths, then you will help me to destroy this thing. She, uh, points over at the sculpture. Yeah. Flip the table.

Dorn takes his axe and starts to kind of help the crowd by slicing and dicing some of these gobbly ghouls, you know? Excellent. She's kind of getting in there. Doren is the working interference. Mari, you whip up the crowd. There's a couple of members of House, Erlev. I don't know if you remember, but back hours ago when you entered the party with these like

mix of dragonborn and human noble family. that like originally had to sacrifice their weapons. So there's like a half copper dragonborn and a burly looking woman and two of them like look at each other and nod and they both grab one side of the table and they just flip it. And you see the ice sculpture just like slide off of the table and with a heavy crack, it hits the floor and it splits open. And inside there is this. multi-colored shell, this true snail shell inside, and it seems to be probably a relative of

the flail snail, whose shell is known to have anti-magic properties, and it had been disguised in this ice sculpture the whole fucking time. Smash the shell! You heard the man! Smash the shell! Someone just like picks up a fucking carving knife. and runs over and just starts like hacking at it. Escarcon.

And as soon as it chips a piece off, this rolling wave of static electricity just hits everyone like a shock wave and the music restarts and the magical illumination in the chandeliers resets. Doren, your illusory form flickers back into life and once again you have become everyone's favorite idiot chondry knolls chondry knolls and there's like this axe at his like waist that's being swung somehow yes exactly exactly

a red did you leave during all of this yeah red's in the front hall and i figured he like kind walks back in through the swinging double doors with his bow and arrow and he's like oh good job and you see like the doors swing open and swing shut and you just see from the front hall what he's been doing and there's like 17 dead goop things all with arrows like stuck in they're like just you just see the carnage of the front hall and he's like I killed a few in the front got my rage out it feels better now cabin are you still with us cabin regains his footing shakily he has his disguise on again you recognize him as one of the party goers from earlier a younger, blonde man with a towering stature.

And he nods at each of you, and he says, thank you so much for your help this evening. I don't know what I would have done without you. Hey, no problem, but I think we got some questions for you, don't we? Absolutely. Yeah, what the hell's going on? Why did these people want you? We can speak in private, please.

I don't want my business being aired in public, if you don't mind. Follow me. And he opens the side door to this music room to the study. This guy better have some good answers. He leads you in, as the door closes and the four of you file in, cabin sits down with this recliner in the middle of the room. He spreads his arms wide and he says, all right, what questions do you have? Look, we chased you around and found a lot out about something that's looking for you. What the hell's going on?

What did that thing ask you? It's not just this party. There were people for the last couple of days who've been tortured in your stead by that monster. Yeah. People died because something needed to find you. Why did it want to speak to you? He just shakes his head and looks down. You can't tell for a minute if he's embarrassed or sad.

or what. And then when he looks back up, you can see he's fucking smiling, wide from ear to ear. And he lifts his right hand. And he snaps his fingers and in a puff of black smoke, he disappears.

Oh no, he's on fire. Oh, come on. Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters. Alexander, Artistic Witch, Brian Blas, Brianne-Marie, Christopher, Colin Burkhart, creature, cytosine, Daniel, Elizabeth H, Glory, Doug, Kirsten Wolf, Haley, Heather Nichols, K.R. Lazz, Lazzania, Leader J, Lorelley, Lerleigh Feldman, Last Ruth on the last. Left, Lost with Two Faces, Marimo, Melissa, Moss, Matilda Rushing, Matt Wordberry, Merlin, Michelle Khan, Tama Konata, Reagan, Shadowhaven, Sky Terra, Tony Pepperone, Trapper 939, and Tyler Fowler. Thank you so much. Do you realize what you're doing?

You're fucking it up for all of us. That's like the first time Doran's sworn. And I'd like to roll a deception. Absolutely not. Huh? We're all the time. The goopy vest is like one of those like kombucha scobes. It just feels.

Ew. That's disgusting. Thank you. Do you have inspiration because I'm taking it away from? What? No. Even I don't have that power. I can't believe you got goo on me.

You realize how often I don't get goo on me. No. He always gets goo on him. I just bathed. I just bathed. You know what? Apparently, I just bathed.