Dice Shame - 2-163 | 'A Crow to Pick'

Episode Date: October 9, 2025

The plan is in full motion as the party send the letters and then aims to get caught..._______________________________________________________________________________________________________________Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their friends Nic & Timm as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobia Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Such a stupid little ploy in game that she's running here. What the hell's a kilometer? Somewhere between one and all. All right, wake up. He fully shits himself. Will this satisfy your boss, do you think? No way. A whole fight is starting.

Work your magic again. I don't really know them that well. This is pretty crazy. I know my rights. Get me a lawyer. Run! You said this wouldn't happen. But he hasn't even been here before. But the crows are for everyone. Anyone can use them.

You're not gonna put us in that, uh, fight ring, are ya? Uh, no. No, I'm not. But that's... Death penalty. Oh. Oh. And welcome back to Dyshame.

This is Season 2, episode 163, a crow to pick. MVP this week is user Just a Skull on our Discord. Just a Skull wrote, hi, yes, I love this. podcast actually only season one episode 11 but it really makes me want to play d and d again oh thanks so much just a skull you are this week's MVP nice one all right should we play some d and yeah let's do it woo so in an effort to mail some letters you've made your way into the crow stoffice in dead snows. Red and Tamil, you are upstairs inside.

Doran and Wittitt, what are you doing? I would have floated right inside after Red. Yeah, yeah. Maybe we should fall in it. The only issue is that Witted really doesn't have, in theory, much that he thinks he can do when it comes to the crows. We had this moment where he's spooked by them, and he certainly doesn't have any animal handling skills here. So I feel like he's criticizing all, like, the dumb strategies.

I think it's more complicated than that. but, like, doesn't have any construction solutions of his own. I don't really, I don't really know him that well. Kind of watching Red. I don't really know him that well too often. I mean, I think he's certainly an individual of his own. He makes up his own mind. He does his own thing.

Do you try to distance yourself from Red's problem solving skills? Yeah, I think, yeah, got it. I think Dr. I think Dr. is sort of like trying to convince everybody that, like, Yeah, yeah, we're friends, but, like, I haven't helped to learn anything. So he was never my responsibility. Anyway, so I'm sure he's not going to, you know, mess anything up. He hasn't done anything too bad so far.

I mean, usually he's saving us, you know. So we've done shenanigans with the kind of mind link of detect thoughts. Joe, is there some sort of role or something I could make? I don't have an explicit ability to do this, but could, could Temeel, enter Quincy's dream could Tamil kind of like appear in his dream and be able to kind of interact with the dream world

I feel like if you went in there and like sat next to his head and like whispered at him you would be able to potentially enter his dream in like not in like a physical way but like you would be able to like

yeah sort of mold of the dream a little bit Tamil goes in she kind of creeps in she's still under the cloak of Reds pass without trace. She'll go over to him and she'll just start whispering in his ear. Quincey, get to the crows.

The crows can save you. They can take you away. You have to get to the crows. Run. Run. Just trying to can, like, basically what she's trying to do is she's trying to get him to,

in his dream, simulate the process of what it takes to get the crows to take something somewhere. and she's going to use the proxy of like the crows will help you escape they'll take you you're the letter show me like and then just watch because she wants to see what happens

what he does what that like muscle memory of his job actually looks like he shits himself he shits himself red's like oh god what are you doing to me you're making him shit himself the crows are 90 feet tall and eat him in his dream it's I mean listen not guaranteed to work

just trying to get the info. I mean, this kid, everyone's like looking down at him. It's like a small room for five people to be standing around in or floating, however the case maybe. He's like got sweats or like plastered to his forehead and he's like thrashing around a little bit. And as you whisper into his mind, his legs start working a little bit. He's doing the dog thing where he's like running a little bit in his sleep maybe. Um, Quincy, you have to get to the crows Quincy

You see his eyes move underneath his eyelids like he's starting to wake up a little bit Okay

You know what Whatever red turns around grabs his knife And grabs the kid By the scrub Pulls him up Alright wake up Get up

What Who are you? All right We need to send about 50 of these letters Why aren't these crows sending them We're handing them

To let the crows And they're not Flying or ravens Or ravens or whatever they are What You just break Into the post office I'm asking you a question

Come on, buddy, don't let me use this. Grossed office. Who said that? Why aren't they working? They don't work for you, buddy. Well, who do they work for? This place, the harvest room. Right, here.

Red puts his dagger away and grabs his handful of letters. Mail all these, now. Okay, jeez. You could have just coming through the front door. No, we're banned from this town. I mean, we're busy. What? Nothing.

Just come on mail. Okay. Okay. We're all in your dreams. Just do it. Yeah, this is a dream, loser. Put that knife away. If we were a dream, why would he do it?

Suggest another. Who is saying that? Just go. Just mail them. Come on. He grabs a stack of letters and he's like, I can't read this. Why?

Because it says Curvin Barbarrow. Definetically sound. What? Where is this going? Fine. Doran, use all letters. I saw you have them. Here.

Doren, like, puts down this package that suddenly becomes visible. These are way more legible and they don't smell like jerky. Hey. That's offensive. He picks the letter off the top that says to Crow and Valharo of Everland. And he's like, so I guess you guys are just thieves? Let's talkie more mailie. Okay, sorry.

He goes to the desk, and he opens the drawer of the desk, and he pulls out some raven food, and he goes over to the ravens, and he opens the door. Why do you keep raven food in a desk drawer, you dink? That's what the desk is for. So the dude, anyway, he goes over and he opens the thing and he feeds the raven food and he says the magic raven words and he sends all your letters. Oh, that's what we were missing. The magic raven word. I love the minute.

It takes like time and it just like dissolves and then Red just like sitting on his table like flicking cashews into his mouth. And he's like, I don't know, man. I think you really got to stick up for yourself. But listen, I mean, he's, I thought he was. my friend and that that was until I slipped in the mud and then he... Temeel, tell him what you told me. Winter

Rains are certainly mucking up the fields. It's like a saying, you know, like the winter rains are mucking up the fields. It means you can't let bullies pick a fight with you, you know? You gotta stand up for yourself. It's like an analogy. Yeah, of course. You didn't get that from...

Come on. I mean, geez, you know. I think Duren and Witter are now entirely visible and the effects of the invisibility of worn off, and we're sort of standing around saying, you know, yeah, it's kind of funny, you know, we've managed to send these letters, and now we're standing around chit-chatting, we still haven't been caught. You think, you know, you do all was worrying, and then you have long, loud conversations, and nobody's even looking for you. We gained a good friend out of this in Barnabas.

Uh-huh. Barnabas, you're one of the good ones, I tell you. My name's Quincy. Oh. What am I going to tell my boss? Don't tell him anything. Just say that the Ravens flew off. Like, I don't have any gold to explain.

How much would it have cost to mail all those letters? It's four silver per raven, depending on the circumference of the... Here, here's 15 gold. As the raven flies. Isn't it as the crow flies? 25 kilometers outside of the city limits, then you're in zone two. What the hell's a kilometer? He pulls out like a little map that's been folded up inside of one of the books.

You mean dragon length? You mean a kilometer? That's how far I can shoot my bow. Dora reaches into his pocket and he pulls out a random amount of gold. Here's 15 gold pieces. Just an obscene amount of... Will this satisfy your boss, do you think? Somewhere between one and all.

And maybe leave a little bit for yourself. Yeah, this is great. Can I give us a wink? Why do you show it, whatever, you know what? Because Red. We're do-gooders. Why not? We're all friends now.

Yeah, did you guys want to come to my birthday party later? It's actually my birthday today. I don't want to have to get you... It's a birthday? No way. It's my birthday today. Yeah. Well, happy birthday, I suppose.

Thanks. Happy birthday. All right, well, part one of the plan is done. I guess now the next plan is get caught, right? Red looks at Temeel. I think that we just would need to walk out the front door. Oh. All right.

Red removes the chair that was blocking the door. Well, Quincy, it's been nice. Have a good birthday. Eat lots of cake. And we'll see you in the fighting pits. You'll see me in the fighting pits. And Red slides down what I imagine is a... fire pole. Yeah. Not likely.

As they're walking out the door, Tamil, we'll go over to Quincy. The next time that boy comes at you, just put your leg like this and she'll show him kind of like a quick like trip attack and then push him over and then run like hell. Thanks to Meal. I did not tell you my name. And don't forget what Tamil said. Let the winter rains clear the muck. Oh right. Red told you my name. Yes, don't.

Sometimes the best fight is one not fought at all. So take that for what it's worth. And then DeMille will just start heading out. That's why I didn't fight back when you guys had that dagger in my throat. I'm really good at non-fighting. Was it that the dagger? Was that the... Okay, well, no.

Good job. Anyway. He hugs you. Oh, God. Don't do that. Don't touch me. We don't know each other like that. Downstairs in the harvest room,

there are several patrons already having woken up and are having their breakfast and a familiar face is serving them from behind the bar you see a stout older woman who you know to be Matild and as you descend the stairs and fireman's pole assortedly she looks sharply up at you and she says

I thought I told you to never come back here again No, that was my brother, Rouge. No, no, hey, you. And she points at you, Temeel. Emeralds, I'm going to call guards. Oh, no, not the guards. But surely we have time for one drink before we go, one breakfast beer. Absolutely not. No.

Tamil whips around and slapsed torn across the face. What? Oh, no, now we're fighting in the bar. Yeah, we are fighting in the bar. Red slaps Doran across the face. A whole fight is starting. It lets out a high-pitched giggle and knocks a cup over. Like a cat.

It's like plastic too. I think Doran like reaches out and throws you both across the room. I won't hit anyone. You can tell he thought about it for less than a microsecond and then just said, Nah, this is pretty crazy. As you watch the tankered, like, topple to the floor, you are, like, bodily hit from the side and knocked off your feet as whim, like, jumps at you

and knocks you on the ground. Immediately when it's like, no, it's that funny, if it happens to meet it. Amidst this friendly brawl that's broken out, Matild, like, makes her way from behind the bar and goes out front and just starts hollering for the town guards. Suckers. Tamele goes out standing next to her and starts hollering for the guards as well.

Whatever she's saying, Timmis just there like hyping her up. God's. Red walks out too and then pauses at a table and he's like, oh, they have a breakfast challenge here? Aw. He continues going out. Six armed guards show up and then seeing how well the five of us are armed, like another six are hot on their tails.

and you are brought into the town square. Well, this is embarrassing. Here, here I thought we were getting away with it. Hey, wait it, just in case this goes real south. Use hypnotic pattern if you need to. Oh, I thought you were going to say I could. And he says, no, you're right, you're right. And you see, his only idea was sealing himself up in the helmet

and putting his arms out like this. You see he was walking over to put his mechanical arms. arms into the stocks. No, right, that's the right idea. And he immediately retracts the fist in that kind of like color orb of like projected lights is getting ready and charging up. Nice. There are a bunch of stocks here. One of them is currently occupied by a man that everyone knows to be named Roger. Roger. Roger. You find yourselves surrounded by guards. A tired looking crew of armed soldiers whose ranks part to reveal a smearing halfling with a plumed helmet. I was wondering if we'd ever see the likes of you again here in Dead Snows.

Who the hell are you? Me? I'm Jeremy Jerram Jones, the captain of the guard. I know my right. Get me a lawyer. Red says struggling against the guards. Ah, red-handed Robin, of course. Oh, you know me. Timiel Thayal. Hmm. That's your last name? You know that's my last name. Door and Iron fist.

Take you long enough. Whim. Then he looks at you, Witted. And just kind of goes, A new guy. This is my best friend Witted, Wigwama. Great. You're all under arrest.

The helmet rises up, and he kind of sticks his hands out. Like, you forgot you didn't grab me, my, my, fair's fair. Here are my wrists, actually. Whoa, you get double handcuffed. Yes, yes. Yes, double handcuffed. Whittie doesn't seem super worried about it. He's fine.

I should take you all to the gale for the commotion you've caused at the harvest room. What's a gale? It's like a jail, but like fantasy version. I think you're just saying jail wrong, to be honest. G-A-O-L. This one's jail, but it's spelled with a G. You keep saying it wrong. It's driving me nuts.

Let's just say the take-home earnings for being the captain of the city guard is only supplemental to... what I earn from the generous pockets of Miss Gemstar. And she's been pretty explicit about what I'm supposed to do if you ever made your way back here. And here you are. So, uh, looking forward to a little bonus tonight. Cool story.

Cool story. What exactly are you supposed to do? Red says nervously looking around. All I need to do is bring you to Carillas for an audience in that. And I think it's... He, like, draws a thumb across his throat. Off with your heads, right? That was the deal.

If you ever come back here, you are going to die. Nonchalantly, Doran's, like, kind of, like, adjusting his gloves, and he's, like, just tightening the leather on his bracers. He's like, you're not going to put us in that fighting ring, are you? Uh, no. No, I'm not. Oh. You're not?

No, like I said, uh, death penalty. But first, Carilla. But that's, I thought, and that's when he turns to, uh, Temeel, whoever's kind of standing behind beside him. Because he's giving like panicked looks. You get a message in your head from Tameel. Just play it cool. It'll happen on its own if it's going to happen at all.

We'll figure it out as we go. You've got this. Right, right, right, right, right. Right, what? What are you doing, Dorn? Oh, nothing. And he continues to tighten his braziers and then immediately adjust his shirt and stops fiddling and looks around. Anyway, I don't want to have to spill blood in the streets.

Oh, we'll come quietly. Bring us to Gemstar. I'm sure if she has her way with us will be dead by morning. Red winks loudly to Tamele. No way she's going to convince us to fight for her. No. Loud winking. Just some wettest.

Yeah. Dead. Hey. Yeah, dead is a do-cat. What's that? To duck it. Just, you lead, little one. And he does.

Joe, before we, before we walk away from the stocks, I believe that Roger, you said Roger, was back in there. All I wanted to do was just try to bust him out of the stocks again as for walking away. For sure. Under the assumption that they can't be in any more trouble than they already are, I think DeMille's going to take a stab at. at freeing him again. Okay, so you're going to try to do it stealthy

or just like smash and grab? Timil's going to message as a way of trying to get a distraction going that seems plausible. Tamil will message Doran and say, You know, your armor is looking a bit uncared for. You might want to spiff it up a bit if you're going to see Carrilla again. Because last time we were here,

I swear there were some sparks and we might need you. to, you know, work your magic again. Sparks? Sparks. What do you mean sparks? I don't want to look good for that, that demon woman. What the, the, what, who?

And Doran's all of a sudden throwing up a bit of a hissy fit. He's like, stop it right now, right now. I understand why you're taking me up there and he turns to the two guards. Yeah, there's one on either of your elbows, kind of just like guiding you through the square. And he stops and he turns up. I understand now what's going on and you're not taking me there. This is not one of those funny setups. Red, I told you, you're not setting me up with anybody.

Don't, what the hell are you talking about? Jesus. All right, now, you guys, quiet down. Come along. I've had enough love. I don't need any more love. I don't need to put love on you. Anybody else setting me up with anybody.

What did you say? I don't know what you're trying to set me up with. Corrilla Justin for me. This has nothing to do it. Where exactly are we going now? Now I'm confused. And amongst all of this commotion, Nick, you can roll with advantage

if you'd like to make a slight of hand check to try to make your way over to Rogers' stocks and do some sort of illegal freeing activities. And I think that while she's on the way over, she's also adding in,

yeah, witted, why are you trying to set him up with Carilla? Just like adding to the dead. You. Just a minute. And he starts launching into this long. It's impossible that I would be responsible and I can prove it.

He does not, he's not aware that he's part of a distraction, but he's doing a good job. That's great. Incidentally, making a bigger distraction. So I rolled a 10 and a 16 for a total of 21. Fabulous.

All right. Yeah, you are successful. How do you do it? Just a quick, like, she has her arms crossed so that one of her hands is hidden under her other, like the other forearm. and she's just kind of leaning up against where the lock is on the stocks,

and she does a quick, like a super quick finesse lock pick and clicks the lock open and then looks meaningfully at Roger and sends him a message, Just wait till we're gone. And then we'll saunter on back over and take a position with the group. Always nice to see it, Temeel. Red walks over to door and is like, isn't that guy in the stock cage, the cannibal of Dead Snow?

I think you met him once a twilight. Thank God he's locked up anyway. The most dangerous man. The guards like get things under control as much as is possible with the five of us rowdy folks. I just don't understand why I have to look my best. This doesn't make any sense.

Get your hands off me. At a cop. And you make your way to the theater where Carilla has her apartments As the double doors open to her quarters, she is sitting on her chaise lounge in a gold, shiny dressing gown. Elbows on her knees, she's holding a cup of wine.

Well, well, well, look who's back. Excuse me? We're back, it's us. No, but that's my line. Oh, sorry. Well, well, well. Look who's back. It's us.

Yes. If you think for a moment, Doran Lake steps right into the room that I'm going to fall in love with you. You have another thing coming, lady. Whoa, there. Me, fall in love with you, Doran Ironfist. Well, I saw the way you looked at me. Corrilla, Grimstar, and I didn't forget your last name in that time. That was like an insult to me.

Wow. She's a real smart one. And Doran's looking around. Is that why we're here? You brought us because you have a crush on Doran? Oh, I thought you were going to execute us as something terrible. Tell me why you're here. As far as I know, you were supposed to have left town forever and never returned.

Or is there some kind of misunderstanding here? The truth, if it is, Carilla, we just couldn't stay away from your scintillating personality. so we thought we'd drop back in and see if we could make amends somehow. Dry as ever, Temeel. Nice. Sarcasm. I like it, Tammil. Good play. But in all seriousness, you've made your way back here within what? A 10 day? And not only are you back in my town.

And it is my town. Let me be very clear with you. But you are stealing, carousing openly. Making a mockery of me. Or that's what it feels like. And she stands up and she starts pacing again. I get it. Mocking crows. Wordplay, very good.

But the crows are for everyone. Anyone can use them. We just ask the birds to send some letters. There's nothing wrong with that. We didn't threaten a boy with a knife or anything. Right. And so, we have come to a juncture where I have to take action. Unlike you, I have a personal code of honor

Or I have to pretend like I do You know, keep up appearances and all that And I promised that I would kill you If I ever saw you again in my town And here you are again in my town And well, I intend to keep up my end of the deal I'd just like to point out that that earlier condition Does not apply to me

I wonder know guilty by association in my opinion and my opinion is the one that matters here but he hasn't even been here before that's why we're here show him around his head is whipped around to the others

and he has this wide-eyed innocence of like you said this wouldn't happen like he said I was under the impression and he just starts sputtering Timil will step forward towards Carilla, and she'll say, all right, let's just cut to the chase, shall we? You are going to attempt to execute us, and we will put up a fight, we will kill many of your guards,

we will leave this town defenseless to a certain extent, and you have no idea who it is we've been associating with, or who it is that we've told we were coming here. Or, since there's going to be a fight anyway, why don't you just put us in that ring of yours, and then have the real muscle of this town take their best shot at trying to kill us. Ha! Good job, Tamele. Red steps forward next to Tameel, and he's like, good job, everyone.

We're convinced her. We're going to fight in our... But she hasn't said yes yet. What? Red, so let's just cool it for a moment. Okay, it was good, though. It was very good. Thank you. You seem very keen.

And that troubles me. Because I know you, Tamil. I know that you try to play it like your all justice and for the good of the people and all of these,

but I know that underneath that slimy sheen there is a sinister intention. What do you get out of it? Well, first of all, rude. I'm not slimy, I don't think.

It's sweat! Read like, nods in his support. Thank you, Red. Timiel's sweaty. That's it. It's not slime. Agree to disagree.

Yes, we don't mind the smell at all. Canonically, Timiel's like for hadrosis and it's just always all like a little sweaty. Just real sweaty all the time. Just like, what it is I want is a chance to fight in Alhammore. You're right. I don't care about your desire to see me or any of my companions dead. I don't care about your designs on this piddly little backwater town.

I would like to show the fighters in the arena what a true hero can be, that they don't have to subject themselves to this pathetic excuse of for a glory-seeking adventure when there is real adventure to be seen in the world. So you made your way all the way back here to Dead Snows

just to prove to a bunch of strangers that you're a very, very good hero. And a much better hero than you. That one landed. Nice, Tamele. We did it, everyone. Really, Red, I, I, again, we just need to, you know, the... So, I'm sorry, are you saying that you want to fight me in the ring?

Oh, Corrilla, please, please. Please say that you would be willing to do that. No. Oh, I'm shocked. I'm beside myself with surprise. But it is interesting. Make a persuasion check for me. I would love to make a persuasion check.

Do I have heroic inspiration? I do. Why don't we make it a wager? Uh, your life against, I mean your life. If you lose, you'll be dead in the ring. Of course. And if you win, then I'll execute you. Fine.

But if we lose, we get 500 gold each. All right. Well, now. Yes. We did it, guys. Red keeps going for a high five. He's not the brightest one, is he? He has other talents.

Who? I rolled a 17. Hell yeah. Persuaded. I mean, when I put it to me that way, it is kind of a win-win situation. If I put you in the ring, starts pacing around like murmuring to herself almost.

Filling monologues, eh? So I put you in the ring, then, well, I can make a big deal of it. And then, of course, you'll be trampled, which is phenomenal for viewership. And if you do win, then yes, uh, execution. No, this makes a lot of sense, actually. Dorn starts to do math on his hand. He's like, wait, it makes sense, sir? Uh oh, uh oh, guys.

This doesn't sound so good after all Listen, if we die Then we die But if we don't Hold on You don't want to execute us If we succeed though We'd be heroes of the arena

People would turn on you Look, we know how to work a crowd Everyone would be cheering Throwing rice and stuff Although you really shouldn't Because pigeons can eat it And get very sick But they would be our fans

And you know Everyone would turn against you If you hurt us I think we just call the whole thing Even Stevens If we fight our way out You know maybe we just leave Or poke around the belly

of Alhamora, who knows, and then we leave the town for good this time. Yes, that sounds great, Red. You're lying. I don't even need to roll inside. You're lying. If you win, I will let you leave. No problem. Oh, we did it! Now, if you don't mind, I've got a lot to prepare. Guards, and she gestures for them. Take them down to the holding cells. Good job, Tamele.

I hope you managed to get a good night's sleep. You're going to need it for tomorrow. Good night. And then the guards lead you away. So walking away, Timu looks so for everybody else. She is the worst. Oh, yeah, she's the worst. Totally get why Doran likes her.

She is. I can't believe she wants me. I see why you would get exiled from here. It seems like it would be easy. Like, what was that? Guilty by association is not how that I'm not. any of this works. We're only guilty by association through Tamil.

Listen, if any of you are having second thoughts about this, I am more than happy to try to help you escape dead snows. But this is something that I... This is something I need to do. I need to get in that ring. I need to...

I don't know. Prove to everyone that they don't have to live under her thumb. It's such a stupid little ploy in game that she's running here. Yeah. Wim's son. are you kidding me my first arena battle this is going to be amazing hell's yeah the only thing I'm second-guessing is these shoes with that dress red's pointing out to me on no I'm just kidding this honey why something we're being so fucking rude today even I'm colorblind and I can

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