Dice Shame - 2-169 | 'Throw In The Towel'

Episode Date: November 20, 2025

Back in the Dwarven City, the party seeks Chaoshammer for answers..._______________________________________________________________________________________________________________Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their friends Nic & Timm as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobia Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you're getting it anyway. That'll be a nice change. Definitely dwarven. Oh, yeah. Super cool. Agreed. Oh, caltrops. It can go either way.

We're on official business. But we'll know. Okay. Does anybody have any questions? And if you do so help me. Trap's filled by our bite. I'm so sorry. I am so sorry.

What can I say? I guess I'm just, uh, well-known individual. A towel? Classic kiosk. Like, uh... You think it's like a bathroom. Like a good life fitness? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's like a lot of naked. Jim, rat tailing each other. What a dong in here. Welcome back to Dice Shame. This is Season 2, episode 169, throw in the towel. MVP this week is comedy fan from the Discord. They said they were out of work for a couple months and weren't really listening to any podcasts. But after finding a new job, they got back.

in a dice shame and are swiftly remembering why they love listening to these goofballs. They're only a few episodes behind, and I hope they're up to date when they get to hear this. Shout out to MVP. All right. Should we play some D&D? Yeah, let's do it. Woo! Traveling by way of teleportation circle from dead snows to,

the Citadel Falbar, our heroes are deposited into an octagonal chamber lit by dimming arcane ruins and geometric dwarven wall sconces burning a hot blue flame. Tamil, as you step out of the portal, it closes behind you, leaving the five of us in relative dimness. Uh-oh. Is this seem darker in here, or is it just the portal that does that? Oh, my stomach. It's comparative.

I don't like it. Your eyes just have to adjust. Let's go get out of here. Where the hell are we? Duh. Red looks around. Yeah, you are in a kind of featureless chamber. Like I said, geometric dwarven design, the classic style, grim gray basalt walls.

And there's a single metal door in one of the walls that is close. Yep, this is Citadel Feldbar, this aisle. And Dornan's kind of looking around at the stonework and the sconces and the different shapes and stuff that are used. Definitely Dwarveny stands up. And just so we're all in the same page, is this a situation like Dead Snows where we are persona non grata or are you... Oh, no, no. Are you friendly with... We're cool, we're cool here.

Excellent. Oh, yeah, we're super cool. Pretty cool. That'll be a nice change. I was just going to say that to be like. This will be a refreshing situation for everyone. Yeah, actually, you know, to be fair, we're not actually wanted in most places. It was only in Dead Snow, surprisingly, that we've ever been kicked out of, funny enough.

Well, no, that's not true. We've also been kicked out of Yadabon. Red. Oh, I think a little bit down. He didn't tell us we couldn't come back. We did kill her, man. Anyway, we were actually summoned to Citadel Feldberg by our friend Captain Chaos Hammer. We ran into Chaos Hammer just south of here in a town called Jallon.

Thar. Basically, he and a band of dwarves were so upset with the citadel's inaction dealing with the giant problem that they sort of rebelled against their citadel and took it upon themselves to kill some giants throughout the land. Of course, like these things often do, they kind of got out of hand, and the little rebellious force sort of crumbled inwardly, especially after Doran took out their de facto leader that replaced Chaos Hammer when they sort of had a mutiny. Uh-huh. Dorn sort of throws up his arms in a cheer.

Yeah. Does that mean that the dwarves here will be more likely to sympathize with an anti-giant campaign, or will they still have a bad taste in their mouth from the rebellion? Well, uh, it could go either way, but I like to stay positive and think that, yeah, they're going to side with us and they're going to want to help. I mean, that's what we all want to do, right? look they brought chaos hammer back into the fold I think they realized the error of their ways

but they do tend to Fern Dong rinkin what do you call it Doran Yoldon Fern defend from the within But I think they're politically motivated To bring Chaos Hammer into the fold Because they recognized the problem was bigger So who knows really The moment you say Yoldom Farn

You definitely saw a reaction from Witted He'd sort of turned in surprise when you use that term As best you can tell, it's one he definitely recognizes. I mean, Chaos Hammer himself came from Adbar, you know. He was really only put here as a bit of a favor for saving the king over there. But it's a lot of exposition. Look, the point is, Chaos Hammer can be trusted. He's a good one.

He's one of us. He wants to change. And even though his attempt previous in Jallanthar was a bit misguided, his heart was in the right place. Hell, he saved Doran's life years ago during battle one time. He did. He is. He did. He's a trusted friend, that one. He's a good one. All right.

Well, um, lead the way. Yeah, well, it's this way. Red says and walks the wrong way. I mean, there's a door. Yeah, he walks the wrong way. Into the wall. These dwarven doors tend to hide. He's like feeling the cracks in the stone.

They're sort of tricky. Knock three times and draw a doorknob. It's just down this way, Red. What? Oh. Come on. Oh, oh, well, I mean, if you want. There's a corridor.

The obvious door. Yeah, of course. You know, all these, all these transportation circles, you know, they got special little secret. passages, but we'll go obvious. He's not all wrong. There are some hidden doors, but just, we all walk out,

the camera lingers, and then the secret passage opens, and we just see gold inside. It's just gold for day. It's measurable treasure. So many legendary weapons on a wall. A little dwarf pops his head out, and he's like, they'll never know.

But we'll know. So leaving the room with a teleportation circle in it brings you into a surprisingly high-ceilinged hallway. Just the two directions left and right, and then outside of the door there's a guard who is like, medium-surprised to see you. And they nod at you. We're on official business.

Uh, okay. Do I need to inform someone of your arrival or? Yes, inform the king. Seriously? Yes, please. Okay. Either that or Admiral Chaos Hammer. Whoever is the most appropriate,

tell them Iron Fist soldiers. Tell them Iron Fis sent you. The guard nods. We're like dropping our weapon. Come on, off to you. It's like the most embarrassing. Don't tell them we're supposed to be here. Rib's like scrubbing her mouth of the back of her hand.

She like threw up in the corner of the teleportation circle of her room. Yeah, the guard nods a little bit unsure and says, I will tell the king that you're here. We spoke to the king and queen before, right, Doran? That's who we spoke to. Yeah, no, no, no, we haven't. I remember being in the room. I carved my name on the throne.

Tell me, he catches the guard before the guard walks right off and he says, But you direct me to where we can find Chaos Hammer while you're telling the king. I don't know who that is, but I will find out for you, sir, and I will let you know. In our defense, we came from a small town. We forget that this is like a city, so, yeah. You know what? We'll go to where we met Chaos Hammer, the barracks, and you know what, put the on us. That's not your responsibility.

You need to guard that. by the way you didn't we came out but don't worry we're good guys it's fine that's not i mean it's not like a it's not like uh like a bank vault or anything i'm just here to hell i'm more like a customs official vibe than all right then then just go let the king know that he should expect friendly company with difficult news could you do that yeah excellent yeah all right and we'll make our way there now dora knows these customs better than any of us do. He clanks the butt of his spear

against the floor and heads off. A spear in these tight holes. I don't get it. Doran turns to the four of you and he says, now listen, I'm very close with the chaos hammer. I've got no concerns about us being here

or wanting to meet with the king and the queen. This is extremely important business and it's quite honestly it's on our doorstep here. And Doran sort of directs his hands towards the direction of silvery moon. You know, he's even got the north, south, east, west in this underground layer. So I have no concerns about that. However, I do have concerns that we're going to be able to convince the king and queen to, you know, send support to silvery moon.

I just don't know how receptive they are to all of that. Any thoughts? Well, do you think that news of the Vonendod on their dole step would be more of an incentive or more of a disincentive? I'm glad you brought it up. And I'm wondering if that's something we disclose to them at this point or not. Saying that an army of giants heading for Silvery Moon or that there is a giant weapon on the other side of the mountain here, could cause some difficulty in making a decision without conflict of interest per se well look hold on chaos hammer sent us word that the von and dodd was waylaid in the swamps

which means at the very least chaos hammer is aware right and it would be safe to assume that the king and queen are then at least aware very good point but i'm not against playing it close to the chest in terms of how much we decide to divulge in terms of the information that Chaos Hammer wouldn't have access to, such as where the giant army is and where their target lay. Or the fact that we have a key to the Von and Todd. That's something that I think we should definitely not disclose at this point in time. Witted nods eagerly.

Agreed. Yeah. But other than that, did anybody have any questions? Why is your beard so long? Because I haven't cut it in a while. So with that, we'll... We'll go and see Chaos Hammer. I think it's this way.

We'll make our way. I'm sure we will. Chaos Hammer, you know, has been given command of a tower in the silver marches somewhere, which is basically like a command post. The king and queen of Felbar, who you have not met with directly, indirectly said if you essentially deal with a giant threat, without having to really involve us dwarves, you can potentially share ownership of this, like, command tower once all is set and done.

In the meantime, Chaos Hammer is going to occupy that station, which is in a tactical location. So he's there with some dwarves essentially like scouting, guarding the area kind of vibe. Okay. You would presume he's probably not here. Well, then, since we already know that Chaos Hammer is an ally in this cause and he's guarding a tower that means he must have troops of some number, perhaps we should skip the King and Queen altogether. If they've already let you know that their intention is to allow you to deal with it, would this just seem like, I don't know? A waste of time?

Yes. Agreed. Look, let's do this. Let's head straight to the barracks and talk to Chaos Hammer's second in charge or at the very least, his least. liaison here, since he's an emissary from Ad Bar, maybe someone here would be in contact just so we can confirm that he's here. Doran, you take these two there. Wimmy and I, we're going to stop off and get a quick provision and meet you there.

I know the way. I can get there quickly. And then we'll meet up there. We'll talk, and then we'll head out. Is the guard still in sight down this long hallway? Yeah, he's just about to turn the corner. Like, he'll... Timu'll sprints after him.

Hold on, hold on, one second. On second thought, we know where we're going. You do not need to alert the king and queen. We do not need to bother them with this yet. We were a little hasty in our... And if you do so, help me! Okay. Well...

Uh, okay. So I'll be what? So you don't need my assistance. Teleportation makes me feel loopy. Is there anything else that I can do for you today? Why is your beard so long? I haven't cut it in a while. Okay, not telling me the king that you're here.

In fact, not breathing a word of it. Is there something else I can do for you today? Uh, no. I guess not. Sorry to bother you. Thank you for being such a hospitable... Well, welcome to Citadel Falbar. Oh, thanks.

Yeah. Thank you so much. All right. Bye. Peaks her head back. As they around the corner, Tim, you'll kind of peeks her head back around and shouts down the hallway. It's not a secret or anything. It's no need to bother them with it.

You know, if it comes up, it's fine. We're not hiding. We're just, you know, they're probably doing kingly and queenly things. Thank you. and then just walks up. Yeah. If you tell them, so help me. Okay.

Dragging red. It's, uh, yeah, sort of humoring. Thanks for humoring me. All right, look, women and I are going to do shopping for everybody. We'll restock on health potions, get a few frost potions. It'll take us a few hours, and then we'll meet you at the barracks. Ooh, caltrops, cowtrops, please. Caltrops, sure, yeah.

Wimmy, are those cow poops? Oh, yes, definitely caltrops. Oh, yes, caltrops, yes. And you know what? I saw a board game shop last time I was here, so I'll, I'll look up some alternative to dragon chest so that women I can play. In the meantime, you see what you can find at the barracks. Doren knows the way, and we'll meet you there.

Two, three, four hours most, and then we'll get out of here. Deal? Sounds good. Well, all right. See, if you get the three-tiered version of dragon chess, I'm really excited to just see how you're even setting it up. I'm curiously. Oh, or if they have one of those collapsible sets, those are very good for travel. Ideally, yes.

Yeah, of course. Red turns to women, he's like, don't worry, I'll get dragon checkers. Whim-winks at you Dumbed down for us Oh wait one second And he sort of hobbles over And whispers in your ear Come here for a second

Yeah your breath is terrible Sorry if they have any of that Dwarven bum cream Grab some for me Chafing a bit Oh yeah no worries buddy Oh thank you Okay

I'll get you the same tub as last time It's Drewers brand Alright Drewers brand I know I know I remember Okay All right, we'll catch you there. Red, sorry, I've just...

I had a friend one time who was very much into her beauty skin care routine and she says that Dwarven bum cream is amazing for puffiness under the eyes. If you could just pick me up, a tub, whatever the largest size is, I haven't been getting as much sleep as I should have.

I didn't even know they make Dwarven bum cream, but sure! They do. They do, they do. And she recommended a particular brand, too. I can't remember the name of it, though. Start with a deep. I couldn't know.

Probably Drewers. I mean, I don't know anything about bum creams. Oh, that's it. Yes, yes. Sure. Sure. You see Witted sealing up the Dwarven bum cream valve of his Bessie and just goes, you know what?

Forget it. Next time you're shopping. There's something I need. Forget it. Red just like finger gun points. She's like, dwelling bum cream. Oh, I mean, if you're getting it anyway. Wim opens up her little tub and it's like all in its last, like she's been scooping out

at the bottom. I'm just like, oh. Don't worry. Dwarven Costco has a three-pack. All right, we'll see you there. And Red heads down the path to the left a little bit until the others are out of sight. He just sort of stops.

He turns to whim. He sort of says, look, we'll get all that stuff. But I want to do something else as well. And I need your help. Something the others can't know about. The Citadel is, a lively place carved from the roots of a mountain. Despite being housed in stone, there are terraces and stairs that climb into upper caverns. The city embraces verticality in a way that

surface-level architecture often struggles to do. There's obviously quite a large population living here, though the pastors by are entirely dwarven, and you attract some curious glances. Doran, Tamil, and Witted, you make your way towards the barracks. Is Witted in Bessie? Yes, yeah. I'm also very comfortable. I like Dwarven architecture

and being in a Dwarven city a lot more. I mean, a lot of the sizing is more appropriate for gnomes, right? Tamil, you are often forced to duck through a doorway here and there. Definitely. like bonks her head once or twice. Oh, watch your head.

Oh, damn it. Yeah, and the steps are shorter than regular steps, right? I know the ones. It's so close together. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's the speed of your foot steps. Oh, yeah. Yes, exactly.

Yeah, you make your way to the barracks. And almost like the way we might walk around a city and figure, that's got to be in this direction. Doran sort of like does that, even though it's a much more complex underground city built on top of itself, still kind of has this innate ability to kind of get the direction of where the city center would be, even though it might look all the same to an outsider. I imagine it's kind of like a rabbit warren or an ant hill where, you know, the chambers are all like the roots of a tree essentially. But Doran, yeah, you're able to, like, you hear the way that the sound of a marketplace echoes off of the corridors ahead, and you know that that's, you know, off to the north and probably down a level.

That and mixed with notes that I had previously taken in my journal, you know, it's like I had some rough sketches of where we were and kind of the area that we were previously. I'm putting two and two together. Yeah, you make you rid of the barracks. It's relatively simple with Doran leading the way. And I almost feel like I'm getting the sensation that it's almost like the Santa Claus parade where Doran's just kind of walking down the middle of street, waving at like people, even though they may not recognize him.

He's like seeing kids that are looking at the three of us and he's just given that like familiar, Hey there, we're like heroes and we're visiting even though it probably doesn't register a lot of people. almost to the point where it might be embarrassing. Sure. You're just enjoying being back in civilization where you feel at home or what's to the vibe. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah, Doren's kind of proud, a little bit showing off for Temeel and Witted,

trying to show that like maybe he's popular even though it doesn't really seem like that. Great. That's really funny. Like one person out of a hundred is like, oh, hey, Dorn. But for the most part, you're just waving at like a bunch of strangers. That's pretty generous. One person out of a hundred. But all the, you know, all the attention is really at like, you know, the robot stomping, you know, ten feet behind me and this tall, athletic weapon.

This tall, very athletic woman who is absolutely tripping. over and running into things just nonstop. Her normal, like, kinesthetic coolness is undone by the change in, like, scale of all of this architecture. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I have this image of, of, yeah, Timil, like, hitting a doorway and then tripping over a dwarf and spinning around and almost tripping over another dwarf. I'm so sorry.

I am so sorry. Widdid's had to, like, shrank down his legs a little bit and retract his arms slightly. You're almost realizing, like, wait, when he does this, it's really, I'm. actually more like a dwarf than anything, this sort of mex suit that he's in. And he flips open the helmet and goes, and he looks around and you think he's honestly unclear what's going on with the crowd.

And he goes, wow, everyone really does like you, Dord. It's pretty cool. Dwarvid City. I can't believe I would, I got to see what it was like for you, from your point of view. We're like both mistaken.

Exactly, exactly. A couple of people are doing the kind of wave that like rural people do when you pass on the street where there's like just like a hey good morning kind of wave but there's no like recognition of Oh it's gorking metal water.

Yeah. The metal arm comes up to scratch the type atop of wooded scalpies because I really never can tell what you guys have done in your previous visits to these places and he looks around like there's definitely some confused person

and he's trying to read their expression like I can't place it, okay. Yes, you said you were only here for a short... Oh, I'm so sorry, yes. Only a short time, but it seems that everyone seems to... Oh, I am so sorry. Everyone seems to know you. Yeah, well.

What can I say? I guess I'm just a well-known individual. Nothing special here, though. Isn't that the guy who killed his wife? I think. He's not the guy who fucked a goblet? Is that the guy? Yeah.

So I... Didn't you do like a bunch of war crimes? I think the barracks should be just over here. Thank God. And when we get there, I'm sure we should be able to find out where Chaos Hammer is stationed. And it shouldn't be a problem at all. We'll be right on our way. Get the guards and get the army underway.

Yeah, you make your way to where the barracks are. You guys are finally here? What took us so fucking long? Doran, like, took the long way around on purpose. What are you saying, hide everyone? We've been waiting for six fucking hours. Four hours later. You guys have, like, we've got ice cream.

We're just waiting on the. We already found everything we need to know. The war is over. The Giants won. We were walking along the highway basis. Yeah. The complete longest way. It was traffic.

That innate dwarven ability is just like, oh, it might be this way. No, no, no, it's got to be this way. Yeah, you bust into the barracks. It's like, it's like, um, like a chill-out room, you know? I know all about barrackses, but I'm sure the first room that you get into, thank you, a common room, a.k.a. the Dwarven chill-out room. There's like some circular tables around which maybe six chairs can be arrayed. There are some soldiers who are enjoying recreation time. They're playing

fantasy poker is a roaring fire in a hearth and then several doors lead off to where you presume

there are like sleeping quarters etc but yeah you see there's like eight dwarves in here

there's got to be some kiosk area where you can go to get a towel or something or there's somebody that you can

check in on like check in with a towel classic classic like a like a like a good life

fitness like a Like a lot of naked dwarfs everywhere. Rat tailing each other. What a dong in here. Well, I'm thinking more like someone, someone that's there on duty to. A receptionist kind of. A receptionist kind of, yeah.

Yeah. Someone would be like, okay, you know, so-and-so is on duty this afternoon. Yeah, there's a, there's like a quartermaster slash like roster keeper type dwarf. Yeah. For sure. A towel jockey. Yeah, slash towel jockey. He'd be there.

It's a position of like some very, very low authority that, you know, attract like a certain kind of dwarf. There we go. They haven't really risen in the ranks of the military at all, but they still feel

like they've some kind of, like higher level. Attention! Do not leave your wet towels on the chairs. Everyone's like, all right, Jerry. Totally. So there's this desk, this reception area.

Maybe this is like a thing and Doren just kind of knows this about Dwarven armies. So he's like, guy, he kind of looks back at Tamele and Witty. He's like, watch this. Excuse me, young master. Oi! I see you've

finally risen to this prestigious position of power within the ranks. Doren gets his nose broken. Mm-hmm. Can I help you with something? You sure can't. I'm looking for...

I'm looking for the guy in charge around here. I mean, I'm in charge of this here position. Then you're... Then you're who I'm looking for. What can I do for you? Well, tell me. What's your name? Soldier.

Me? Yeah. Share. Share. That's right. What's your name? Civilian. My name is Doran.

And this here is my best friend to me. Dylan. This year is my best friend Witted. That's some phenomenal armor you have there, Witted. Hey. Actually, if you don't mind. Comes out from behind the desk. Can I, uh, can I take a look at that? Oh, this?

Witted, for the first time I think in this campaign, opens up his suit and in perfectly fluent Dwarvish says, ah, yes, brother, you certainly can have a look up. I think you'll notice that there's a good deal of Dwarven engineering. it went into the inner workings here. And it's like the arms start opening up, pump, pump, pump panels to allow him to like take a look inside. This is phenomenal and very exciting.

The dwarf is examining Bessie with all of the bravado of someone who wants to seem like they're good at cars opening up the hood. But they've, like they know generally what an engine is supposed to look like, but what none of the, nozzles and intake hoses and things do so he's like oh this looks really great is this uh new is this the new model that i think it's it's a let's just say it's a custom job uh there's a little bit of the

old little bit of the do i varied it up a little bit and he was counting on this guy not really being willing to like touch and get two hands on and like being a little nervous about it you see him acting very calm and casual like doing the car guy thing with this dwarf but at the same time he shoots a look at the team and anybody who's been around whitted can tell he's very like nervous and up all borderline upset at like showing bessie to this stranger but he's also like it's all right it's right like we're winning him over we're doing what we need to do we got this guy with for the team it's for the team and you see him like showing it off like hey anyway and he pulls back and start shutting the panels but

in a quote-unquote casual way. Sweet ride, really cool. Doran kind of catches this, and he readjusts his neck because of how fast it snapped over to Witted Wing. He started talking in complete, perfect dwarven. And he picks his jaw off the floor, and he says, that's enough about that.

Tell us, where can we find Chaos Hammer? And he's now trying to... Oh, that's what we're looking for. Yeah, General. He's at a special outpost. Yes, I know, I know. I must talk to him, so please, direct me to the outpost. I mean, that's military business. Yeah, well, and I'm a military man.

Come on, look at me. Uh, what's your rank? Rank. Well, I was an officer. Look at this, and he pulls out. Actually, I just check in my sheet. I want to make sure this is the thing. And he does a backflip.

And he failed Now show me Is this conversation happening Is everything happening in Dwarvish Or just the thing that I think it's probably all happening in Dwarvish Okay so Tamele has No idea what's going on

Oh no This is boring You're like this is going great She just she leans She tries to casually lean up against Like a stack of towels or something Knocks the whole thing over Turns to be a

Dwarven head You're like oh no I'm sitting there She's a guy carrying him. Yeah. Doran pulls up his fist and shows his very beautifully polished infantry unit officer's ring. Yeah. From, you know, from his days in the army.

This here signifies just what rank I held. Sir, yes, sir. You served in the Dragon Wars. Thank you. And I appreciate the immediate shift in your respect there. Yeah. He, like, snapped to attention. his eyes are fixed, like, in the middle distance.

Okay. General Chaos Hammer is located to the northwest. All right. Just the perimeter of the moonwoods. Oh, okay. The moonwoods, hey? About a day's ride if you have horses. Hmm.

Well, I think Doran's making notes now in his journal, Northwest. Uh, moon woods. Okay. Okay, well, I thought he would be a lot closer than that, so that means I've got to get out to see him, or you can't get a message to him, can you? Not myself, no, sir. Okay, well, let me talk with my companions here for a moment,

and Doran sort of turns. Yeah, he salutes and then heads back behind the desk, and you can tell there's, he like, he's, like, guy's chest puffed up a little bit, like, ooh. Oh, and by the way, At ease, at ease, yes, sir. Take it easy there. Okay.

Timil, with it. I didn't realize that, you know, Chaos Hammer would be more than a day's ride out from here. I guess this puts in a bit of a time decision. Should we wait for red or? We should definitely wait for red and whim. But, I mean, I think that what that means is that we cannot go to Chaos Hammer before we go to the Vonendod. Agreed.

I'm not sure. That has to be the next thing, the next place we go. Even if we could get word to him, I'm not clear that he would be able to get forces to the Vodod in time to make any kind of difference the way perhaps fell by our bite. Exactly. Not to mention where they are near the moon forces, quite the opposite direction of where we need to go to Silvery Moon, which is quite a bit more south. I wonder if this might be a, he's kind of giving a look at Tamil like maybe we should go see the king and queen. after all, I mean, they're really the ones that can... You'd say that they had asked that you'd take care of the giant problem,

which obviously we have not done yet and need their help in order to do, but if we rolled up to the doors of Citadel Felbar with the Vonindod, would that maybe convince them that we have the prowess and the power to actually get this done and maybe encourage them to send their forces? Or do you think that just asking them would give us, that they would be willing to unturtle. These are very difficult decisions. I'm hoping that if we can meet with the king and queen,

and this is what I had in my mind, I'm hoping that if we can simply meet with them, we may be able to convince them. You know, aside from all the Yelden farm, that we can get them to support, you know, a city that is, of course, far down. different than Dwarven City, but there's got to be a way. I believe that for the greater good, they've got to come and see the light, right? I mean, you would hope that people in power would

be willing to help. People in power will look after their own first. It's, and that seems in keeping with the phrase that you'd mentioned before. I wish Red and Wim were here to weigh in on this, but, um... And he turns back to the kid at the desk. Tell me, Cher. Yes, sir. Since Since Chaos Hammer is so far away at this particular moment, who's the next in charge? That's Captain Annam Blade Ward. Anam Blade Ward. Excellent. I believe she's on duty today. You could find her upstairs. Excellent. Do we have to check in or anything?

I've already checked you in right here, sir, in the ledger. Excellent. Thank you. Thank you for giving me your names. And just do me a favor of checking out when you leave or else I get in really big trouble. return your towels What I thought Here's your towel Complementary snacks

Okay Thank you And Doren drops the towel This is like part hotel Yeah Well these are really good They're the fluffiest Oh no the snacks I mean these are

Oh yeah yeah yeah These are good ones So anyway We are heading upstairs Yes absolutely The towel is our stuff The door busts open and Wim is standing in the entryway silhouetted against the barracks light and her hands

are full of jars of dwarven bum cream. She's got like two dozen jars. Well. And she's like trying to mouth stuff. She's used to talking with her hands, but she can't, like, talk. So she's just like excited to offload all this stuff. If you say it's that good, Timela, I might as well take two. Just for my hands.

Dorn, I got an extra one for you in my pack. Don't worry. I got to swing by before we go just to pick up some arrowheads that I'm having fashion. But beyond that, we're done. We did all the shopping. Quick as anything. Oh, thank you. Share's like, oh, that stuff's really good.

Have you ever tried putting it under your eyes? It really helps with the puffiness. That's for asses. Witted looks over as it's going into the machine and like wincees guiltily. who's this guy don't mind him we're going upstairs to talk to someone in charge he's just in church down here and he winks at the guy share oh do you believe in life after love oh my god all right anyway ha no one did it i'm i was going to driving me nuts Okay, now I'd just like to thank our dear Patreon supporters.

I screw all their names down here. Just bear with me. Okay, thank you too. Lita J. Christopher, Colin Burkhart, Merlin, Adam Frey, Liz, Ruth Ann Reed, Trin, Lorelei Feldman, Merrick's Moon, J.D., Scotty, Haley, Joshua Nance, Nicky, Queen, Shannon Waldner, Wren, Cass, Joy Robinson, Melinda Curley, Estray 96, Moon, Jeanette, H.D., Gabby, Tao, Tea Kettle, Izzy, Anna Lena, Gareth Bradshaw, Abriel, Mizra, Nibia, Nerd Fairy, Oakland, Abby Mae Birkin, Quinn, Manderpants, Stab, Vol Control, Keely Hill, Pan, Axel, Rabid and Cheese, Absolute Ocelli Behavior, Danny, Seer of Time, Wanderer Fenn, Luna de Maria, Feli, Bird, Starlight, A.K.K. Trashpanda, Amanda Nicole, Clockwork Phoenix, Lickrott, Kite, Alicia Duh, O.B., Marimo, Luke, Fisher, Knox the Nightshark, Sunny, Zill Street, Liz, Kara, Caspian, BeanFiend, Jagerman Jensen, Roses of Envy, Karen Duley, Minty,

Percy. This guy could. Hydrus. Martina. Celeste Jedlick. Lysanne Kleckner. Nick D. Slate Blue Flowers. Sparks. Marino. Ren Gillespie.

Scoutgar. Delicate Jaws. Shank. Sakura, aka Cam. Veritas. Tell. Laura. Jane.

Sasha. Buzing Star O3. Snicksnack. Jinks. Jaron Blair. Nukwom. Conzo Como. Trinity, Morgan King, Rona, Loris, Bart, O-W-O-N, Art Jacks, Axe, Arrestu, Libet Reed, Mademoiselle Salamandra, Ray Silvertong, T-K. Haste, Heather Newman, Marshmorrow, Mittens, Fern Ferguson, Harry, Immortal Dragon, Sarah Tonin, Decu Loves Hair, Dylan, Dylan Ibb, Jesse, Rachel Isaacs, Red Wing Rising,

and milk. It's a good thing I have this all written down because I would never be able to remember some of these names. Have a great one and see you around the battlefield. Whim nods, and then she signs, I do the shopping. Okay, and then we walk away.

But don't get me a bum cream. She doesn't look at it. Yeah, 35 minute episode. Trying to decide which brand of bum cream. Yeah, it's just called bum cream Is it the bum cream with the SBF or is it the Bum cream with AMGED? You should do a false ending.

It's like how people use that like main and tail shampoo like the horse shampoo for their actual human hair. I was watching an episode of Taskmaster where they were talking about using like is it called butt cream? I don't know what it's called but it's like it is something that you use yeah whatever and then you just kind of put it under your eyes.

Actually it's true. Hemroid cream. Yeah. Preparation is. I have heard that. Yeah. beauty tips that's why people listen to the pod okay for the badass beauty tips obviously yeah beauty tips