Dice Shame - 2-17 | 'Two Birds One Stone'

Episode Date: December 22, 2022

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: swearing, violence.Part of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So, the weather. Does it smell like home, Doran? Yeah, not quite. I'll tell you, it doesn't sound like home either. Will there be bland stew? All right, so we're looking for the stone giant fort. Isn't that where mineral wool comes from? I guess it is sort of like a city.

A bird, get it. Don't do what Doran did last time. We've got at least a general direction. Plus about cuddling and more about piling. Yeah, that's actually really accurate. Oh, I think this is it. Let's call it 150 with all the haggling that you guys are going to do. So that's 300 for four.

Sounds good. Sure. No one say anything Shut up Wait, oh no Wait Welcome back to This is Season 2

Episode 17 Two Birds One Stone MVP this week is Cyrus Who sent me and Joe Some snacks to the PO box Thank you so much Cyrus We really appreciate the nerd fuel and we need a steady diet of Gardettos to keep our podcasting energy alive.

Happy holidays, folks. As we come up on Christmas time, Harlan and I would like to take a second to express our gratitude to you, the listener, for taking this journey with us. We've come a long way since Nightstone in October of 2019, and we really appreciate everyone who's helped make this show possible. So, thanks, guys. And Merry Christmas.

Thank you so much. Merry Christmas and happy holidays. Should we play some D&D? Let's do it. All right. So there was this time, and it was for a long time, I would say, about six months at our old house, that every time I would get into the bath, I would have this, like, stomach dropping feeling. And I would sort of describe it as deja vu.

It's an experience I've never had before, and I have not had it since. And I would say in that six months I took four or five baths and it would make me feel like I would have this memory that I couldn't describe or remember I was trying to every time I'd sit in the water

I'd go oh my God what is that and it would feel like I was watching something really horrific I would pull out my notepad on my cell phone and type and Harlan would have this like wild stream of consciousness to get to the point where like I would be like Joe come in here and write down

what I say. Like, that's how weird it got. Now, I'm saying this as somebody who is a skeptic, who has no real connection with supernatural whatsoever. I don't know why it happened. It stopped and then we moved and it doesn't really happen again in bads. I have no... You would be so frightened too. Like, I'd never seen you like that because it was, it surprised you and then it was this recurrent thing and then you would have this dread about it. Here's my question to everybody else. Has anyone had anything like that? I had a reoccurring like nightmare for went on for weeks when I was a kid yeah I remember it vividly do you remember what it was yeah what I do tell us okay so it was basically there's like this old woman she's holding my

baby sister actually and she's looking out the window this gets pretty gruesome she's looking out the window and she's looking at these kids at a playground and she's holding my baby sister and she's like you see all those kids out there and she's like smiling and stuff and then she says that's never going to be you and she rips her heart out like she like fully

like it goes to this really dark place and I wake up in a cold sweat yeah this this happened wild I think I kind of remember you telling me that actually it wasn't longer than a month

or maybe two but like it was just kind of weird how this thing kept happening and I couldn't shake it like every night I'd have this fucking nightmare It was really weird. Do you think there's some kind of supernatural element to that?

Or is that entirely just your brain? Yeah, that's a good question. No, I think it was just neurons flying around, honestly. And again, I say all this from a very skeptical point of view. Like, I've always said, like, before that moment, I've always said that there's only ever been one sort of spiritual thing that I've ever experienced. And truth be told, that that bathtub thing, I don't even really spin in the spiritual.

But it makes me think that that experience. If I was a religious person or if I was a more spiritual person, that would be such a slam dunk cell for me to be like, oh, well, goes exist because I had a experience or someone trying to contact me. And me being a skeptic, like have you had an experience as well? That sure, you still land on the side of, no, no, this is explainable. But that made you go, oh, but that felt really fucking weird. When I was at a friend's house, when I was really young, maybe like eight or something. and we lived way out in the country so we were everyone's house had like a big lot of woods just acres of woods and we were out back of her house the two of us wandering around in the woods

and we both saw this shape this shape was human shaped but much bigger than could be possible a wendigo and it was walking towards us through the trees and you could see it moving and it scared the ever-living shit out of both of us and we ran screaming the way two eight-year-old girls only can all the way back to the house and we confirmed with each other that was what both of us saw this like big tall dark human shape that must have been like 12 feet tall and I looking back at it the closest thing I could think of was like maybe a bear on its hind legs or something. But it felt very supernatural. Joe finds Bigfoot. Confirmed. No, it was El Chupacabra. Here we go. Much more like a person than like a Bigfoot, but you know.

We're making discoveries about Bigfoot today. Yeah. How do we know what Bigfoot is much more like a person than you'd think. What about you, Alex? Have you ever had anything like that? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know. I've never really had too many vibes like that. that. I don't know. I've got a human skull in my apartment that sits on a shelf. And I, uh, and I feel like people like to think that that's a scary thing. But I've always gotten just like chill vibes from it. And I just, it's bonesy. And when it talks to me at night, it only says nice stuff. Yeah, it's very complimentary. Greatest knock knock jokes. He hangs out on a shelf and, uh, just chills out there. And, uh, yeah, I don't know. I've never really had those, those moments. I found to find,

I found most things in my life where I've been really freaked out have been very real. It's been real stuff. So your ghosts, nay. Your nay. Thumbs down on ghosts. I'm just sort of like a non-committal hand wiggle

on ghosts. And then when it comes to like real, the terrors of things, it's all very real world. So your ghosts, like, what, 80% they don't exist. Yeah, I'm sort of like. Or are you less? I don't know.

I don't know where I said. Are you like 50-50? Yeah, I'm like 50. 50, 50, but in the way that I don't think that, like, ghosts give a shit about us. I feel like if ghosts are real, it's more of just sort of like a plasma kind of thing that sort of exists. It's like a state of matter. You're still 50-50 on their existence. I'm like 80% on their existence.

Oh, really? On their existence? Yeah, yeah. Really? Yeah, yeah. Whoa, coming out of left field with the chair. That wasn't clear from your story. I figured you were going hard on the ghosts can go fuck themselves.

They don't exist. They're just all assholes. See you in hell, ghosts. I don't have any hard proof, but like, where my mind goes is like if you did i think you would have like a Nobel prize or something there i don't have proof but i have this jar of ectoplas or i mean i what i mean is i i don't have any firsthand stories firsthand situation sure sure um except like i'm sure there's something back there i can't think of right now i'm sure there is but but at the end of the day it's more of a

scientific view of how like i think we've really scratched just the bare surface of actually what there is to know and i think there's things that we don't even see that are like put it this way vision is just perception of light that that i'm just going to finish that conversation no i'm with you on that like i'm i'm still 99% they don't exist but i'm also like the pascal's wager type side of but i would never be so bold to say that big don't because to me no it's it's you know as of this time, yeah, there's no evidence. I can say that, matter of factly. But I would never say,

ah, there's no way ghosts could and ever have existed, because I don't fucking know bullshit about bullshit, you know? I'm just like ghost agnostic. All right, Rob. Well, so I mean, I have a number of times. Like, I think growing up, I was a very... I was

a ghost. But no, I was a ghost. And then I found some meat. And now I'm haunting this meat. Um, no, but I, like, anytime I had any kind of experience that was in that realm, it was when I was with somebody else who was really invested in that being a true thing, like that they were existing. And I was, I was connected, like, you know, I was, I was, I was in the moment with them. I was like, yeah, yeah, okay, let's, let's explore this feeling or see where this goes or whatever

or accept these truths and play in this space and just allow yourself to be, to kind of go with it. Yeah, to believe in those moments because that was what we were doing now and I wanted to be a part of it. But I don't know how, like if I reflect on any of those moments, do I think they were connections to another worldly entity or something? I don't think so. I don't think you need, I don't think you need that to explain feeling empathic and connected to another person and finding something outside of yourselves and telling yourselves a really interesting experience about that pattern or about what you're experiencing or finding. value in doing that. And, you know, so I don't, I don't want to diminish that in any way. Diminish it, Rob. Diminish it. Because that sort of led to my existing, like, philosophy, which is really colored by the idea that, like,

there's no atheist in the foxhole probably being a really true thing. The human being is going to believe what it needs to believe to survive the moment it's in. And if that means needing to think there's somebody out there looking or there's something beyond or there's the next thing, and that's going to help me get through this moment and get into the next one, probably I will believe that in that moment. And if I find myself in another circumstances, I might believe something else. So you're hedging your bets. Well, you have permission to change what you believe in any given moment. It doesn't need to be true because everything is filtered through your experiences anyways. But I do have a much scarier bathroom story. Oh. To tie it all together.

That's the Rob Dio Ball story. I slipped in the tub and died. A couple of years ago, Rach and I both, we would each get in the shower and about midway through, suddenly you'd feel like you were being electrocuted. Not like you were being zapped or anything, but like there was a tingling all over your body. It felt like it was something really electric significant happening.

And of course somebody says, hey, something just weird happened when I was in the shower. So I went to had a shower afterwards. Definitely felt this whole body electric experience two or three times. because the kind of dumb person I'm like well that can't be a real thing it turned out they had rewired

the hot water heater in the basement and they didn't ground it properly and they didn't tell us and so then it was like yeah once we brought that to their attention it was like this was really not great getting gently electric

very scary could have been bad could have been very bad could they have killed you do you think no I'm not sure no no Alex is a hard now your breakers would go first I suppose if you already

had, like, pre-existing condition. You've got a pacemaker. Yeah, yeah. If you already, if you had a weak heart or, like, an arrhythmia or something, like... Yeah, I suppose. Definitely you can Google, electric hot water heater, killed woman during shower, or something there's, you know... Thank you for the bullion.

Fell on her. So, all this comes down to that. If you think you understand what happened to me, send us fan mail, P.O. Box. I mean... Paris, Ontario. If you are the ghost haunting Harlan. There was an office somewhere. when everybody would go away to it and start to feel really creeped out.

Like things would start to feel freaky in there. And everybody in the whole office was experiencing this creepy crap. And suddenly they were like, as they, as this guy started investigating, it was because the HVAC was giving this really low thumb, like thrum. And that was like, Infer Sound. Ping in everybody's like fight or flight shit for a while. Yeah.

Yeah. How wild, eh? Here's the thing, though. So Joe was with me every time or more or less every time. Yeah. Like one time I go in the bath myself. completely had a she would sit in the bath with me and to the same time nothing ever for her never affected her never whatever and it was like i think it was a combination of a few different things

like it totally could be just like a few check boxes but i i firmly believe it felt like it was like some sort of memory that wasn't my own but it was weird because every time i got in i like slipped and smacked my head in the same spot i like went unconscious every single time so i don't maybe they had something to do with it. Every time I took a huge bong rip and then I just got in there. That's right. Regardless, whether or not ghosts exist, they definitely exist in D&D. Yes, they do.

Speaking of which. And I'm excited to fight some more ghosts. Let's do it. Basically to even the scales. The ghost of our characters. Let's do some D&D. All right. Woo!

After the excitement, of the midwinter party at the Dritus Manor and the dramatic exit by Cabin Zathundrick, our group of heroes spend a few more days of rest and relaxation in Waterdeep before heading back out into the wilds to continue their quest. Thanks to the Harper's network of teleportation circles, the town of Loudwater feels very close, despite being two ten days travel east of Waterdeep as the crow flies. Straddle between the southern edge of the high forest and the northern reaches of the

Southwood, with the ranges of the Grey Peak Mountains to the east, Loudwater is new territory for the party. It's the fore of Altruillac, a bright sunny day, and the teleportation circle dumps you out into the basement of a tavern called the Smiling Seder. The circle seems to be unguarded, and no one's around to ask any probing questions of you. Outside, the town of Loudwater is bustling through its morning. It's unremarkable citizens paying you little mind. Loudwater is a smallish place, probably in league with Amphail in terms of size, with perhaps a couple thousand residents. It hugs the Delimber River that feeds from the white top to mountains in the far, far distance, your ultimate destination somewhere within. Man, I miss

being on the road. Feels nice to kind of be back in my nice, clean clothes, and out of those stuffy, frilly things that we wore at that party. Yeah. I don't think a single thing you're wearing is clean, technically. Well, clean is a nebulous word here. It basically just means that I didn't wear them yesterday. So they're clean for today's body, which is dirty.

Right. I like to think that the dirt's just so ingrained that it's become a part of the shirt. Oh yeah, this used to be white. It's wearing like dark brown. Isn't that where mineral wool comes from? Isn't that? It's insulation. Yeah. Exactly. I think. I don't know. Does it ever not feel weird going through a teleportation circle?

Because I don't know how to describe it other than it feels slimy, but I'm not slimy. Yeah, I like to describe it as reverse vomiting. Yeah, that's actually really accurate. And there's something inside my body now and I don't know how to describe it. But it's a deep, deep dread. But don't do what Doran did last time because he thought to get the reverse vomiting feeling out, that vomiting would be the answer. got really, really drunk before doing it, but that didn't work out very well dealing, Doran.

No, no, it never does. In fact, you know, I didn't really vomit. Isn't reverse vomiting just eating? No, not the way we do it. No, I'm a little confused here. So, the weather, does it smell like home, Doran? Yeah, not quite. I'll tell you, it doesn't sound like home either. That, that, that, that, that, this town really lives up to his name. Can you hear the water from here? I can literally hear the water from here. It's very loud and obnoxious, to be honest. It is. It's quite nice.

And we must be near a... Of course you'd like water, Mary. Waterfall or something. It feels like a personal attack. So meta-speaking, does anyone want to get anything done here before heading out supplies, potions, animals? Yeah. That's a good point. I'm going to get a few climbing potions. For sure.

I want to get... Let's get one for everybody just in case. I'd also like to recommend, potentially, well, I'm going to remind you the varietal of giant. that you're up against and their proclivity for certain activities. I'm not sure if you were called what happened with

Jack earlier. Petrifying? Oh, right. Although I think Mari had to be able to cast on Stoneify us. Sorry, Mari, do you have access to greater restoration? Yeah. Well, we could probably find a potion for that, right? For anti...

Well, that's a load off because, yeah, last time Jack was frozen in carbonate. Petrified. That's the word. I mean I'm sure there's an anti-petrifying potion though Well we got Mary now so we don't have to worry what if Mari gets petrified what if Mary's The one that gets petrified mm-hmm Then you have to go to the other castor and then if if he's gone then everyone's fucked Well if we're gonna get potions whatever yeah the problem is a scroll of greater restoration Would probably be pretty costly yeah they're about um 750 gold depending on who you're

talking to so that's more than the breastplate we just negotiated down for. So I'd say let's take our risk and just make sure Mari is protected. Yeah, yeah. I only have... Marry, you were to be at the back of the squad when we fight sometimes. I feel like I'm going to have to be doing a lot of things where I hang out sort of further

in the background and go like, great job, guys, I'm going to cast moonbeam from over here. And then Jack, like, looks at you and he's like, so now you get why we have to be in the back, Mari. Potion of climbing, 5E, price, suggested value, 180 gold pieces. Let's call it

150 with all the haggling that you guys are going to do. So that's 300 for four. Sounds good. Sure. Cool. No one say anything. Shut up. Wait.

600 for four. No, you said it. No backseas. I like, I prefer to imagine that the shopkeeper just as bad at math. That's right. I'll do 600. But it's funny because Rob and I both know. I was like, sure?

That's 300. It's totally fine. I was like, I was like, don't make a fake expression. Just go with it. Well, I was suddenly very much in debate. I was like, should I correct that? It's also just a game, but also it's kind of wrong. Just because Loblaws can price go.

It doesn't mean you can, Joe. That's right. Cool. So, yeah, we'll get four climbing potions. I think as long as we protect Mari, I think mechanically, we'll be safe. Rock and roll. Otherwise, we're spending double that. Is there anything else anybody wants or buys?

I don't think so. Nope. Cool. Cool. well then let's get the hell out of here red says he shoves the potions of climbing into the bag of holding and starts heading for the door of loudwater aka the gate the city's one one door it's a basement door get out of my way door with the southwood to your right and the mountains far off in the distance ahead of you you take the gray veil run heading east out of loudwater a group of merchant travelers passes you heading in the opposite direction and then you're are out alone on the road. It's been a long time since you guys have been just on the road, going to a place.

Ah, feels so good. You know, I feel like technology. It's really ruined us. Technology. And by technology, of course, I mean those portals. Dorn's always on his iPhone. It doesn't make eye contact anymore. Stop playing Angry Birds.

You know, I do, I do actually recognize this area. Now that, now that I'm out here facing the Great Peak Mountains, I recall, walking this way many a time as a child. Which one of those is home up there? Ah, and Doren kind of points over in the general direction. Well, it's under that area over there. That's a tree, Doren. What do you mean beyond the trees?

Yeah, beyond the tree. See the mountains back there, Red? I thought maybe he slept in a tree, Mari, and that would be really interesting. Oh, no, no. Dwarves don't sleep in trees. We live in underground cities, in mountains. Well, I know. I've seen them before.

I mean, I haven't, so you could tell me whatever you want. I'm just playing with you, Red. Well, I'm excited to see home or whatever. We're going to have a nice royal feast like we did in Silvery Moon. Is your mom going to bake a few cakes like in Silvery Moon? Silvery Moon? Will we bland stew? Having some leftover bland stew, yeah.

What about your brothers? Oh, yeah, didn't you say you had brothers a couple days ago? Yeah, probably not likely. Probably not likely. I mean, well, I'm sure we'll be greeted. We'll be greeted with open arms, and there will be lots of food. Oh, there will be lots of food. And, uh, and mead.

Is it the bland shit? No, it's probably going to have flavor. But that's okay. It's nutritious. I can feign excitement. Are we going to have to sleep in a bed with your whole family? Of course. Oh, you have to.

Maybe not with my family, but certainly we'll share a bed. But just my dad. Definitely my dad It's like a 70s era Sunkin bedroom where you just walk down two steps And then there's just pillows and like I mean I know it's Dwarven custom I'm here for it I just wanted to like

Prepare myself Rari's a little little nervous with the Dwarven Cuddle Puddle that's being proposed You mean excited It's very hairy It's less about cuddling and more about piling All right so we're looking for the stone giant Fort but we don't know exactly where it is

Deadstone Claft is somewhere in this general area. Is the plan to maybe head to Doran's house first, make that our base of operations, or what? I think so. Based on the books that, crap, I forgot her name. Based on the books that B, based on the books that B was able to collect while we were out in...

You forgot my daughter's name? In Waterdeep. You know, I've sort of narrowed it down to this kind of area based on some of the references in there. It's a shame we didn't get some of the more extended travel journals of Bisyphiz, the well-heeled, or whoever, but we've got at least a general direction, but I think somebody who lives in the area has got to have an ear to the ground for, you know, more recent giant happenings.

Yeah, that makes sense. So, yeah, let's head to Doren's home. Yeah. So, Doren, whereabouts on this big mountain range is your home? Is it more to the south, to the north? Is it just kind of all of it? Well, no, it's definitely to the south. We're going to take this path here.

we're going to take this right through the middle of the mountain pass and then once we kind of pass through, well, before, there's two ways you can approach the city and that's through the foothills of this side or you can go through the mountain pass and then circle back around and that's a much harder, harder travel and doesn't make sense for us to go longer so we'll just take the shorter route. You actually grew up in a city? I didn't know that.

Yeah, well. I thought you were like kind of, you know, the equivalent of a dwarven farm boy. No. I guess a stone boy. No. A mine boy? No, no farms around here.

No, I grew up in the blacksmith. That's right. You grew up in the blacksmith? Well, I grew up in the city. And then, well, it's not a city like here. It's more of like a whole bunch of underground dwelling. all compiled together and then there's like a you know a center to the dwellings and and then there's like you know I guess it is sort of like a city

Jack is doing his best to picture it based on on Doran's description of it and it's so fuzzy around all of the edges he's just vibrating with excitement to see it all right so we head to the city what's the name of your city Doran no I feel like I'm kind of backtracking because well where I'm from it's not the biggest in the Grey Peak Mountains. The biggest city in the Great Peak Mountains would be Splendormorn. But I'm from a little, little, little big city and not as big, called Scarborough. And that was from, you know, it's one of the older towns, I guess, around here.

But it's certainly not a farm farming community. It's just, you know, on the other side of Bleached Bones Pass. Bleached Bones Pass. Wow. Well, the bleach bones pass is the pass through the mountains, so we can go that way, but it's technically walking further, and that would be if you're, you know, if we wanted to go to the other side of the Great Peak Mountains, we'd go through the pass. But this side of the, we don't have to go through that pass. Well, I mean, we like hiking, and again, I feel like the town of water deep is really, you know, scrunched up. It's so small compared to the vast open. nothingness out here. Yeah, yeah. Well, that's what happens with cities, right? And it's so gorgeous.

I think that bird is dead. I will say this. You know, I'm sure we don't have to go right into Scarborough. Deadstone cleft is on the northern side closer to Splendormarn. Well, I think we're going to start on one side of the mountains with people that we know and trust, and then we can start asking around. because look, remember the hill giants? We knew the general area,

but until we actually went to Beliard and asked about where. In fact, even on top of that, it wasn't until we met Mug that we really understood where the hill giants fought was. And on top of that, until we went there and got our asses kicked and really came back with a plan, it wasn't until we were at all ready to deal with Gred Hogg.

So finding it is one thing, but figuring out what we're going to do when we get there is the more information we have, the better. Yeah. And on top of that, well now I don't remember what I was going to say me neither

something about an imp I think Mari's just been staring off into the distance this whole time just kind of listening to them in the background but just staring at all these mountains like oh no we got to go over all these mountains I'm used to flat terrain

so sore oh my god I'm not built for this I'm so reedy you know it's not so bad Mary it's sort of like walking on normal ground except you just got to lean back a bit. Thanks, Doren.

That's how you walk up a hill. Now down. Whoa. It's just funny because she's also like almost six feet tall. She's tall. So she's just like, all right. All right.

One foot in front of the other. Let's do it. Yeah. Take us towards Scarborough. Is it a burrow? I feel like he's making this up, Jack. the sun is high in the sky and loudwater already just a memory when you come across something strange on the road

in the frosty earth a stone statue of a tressum is partly buried forming an exclamation point in a long scratch of churned dirt hold up everyone looks like there's something ahead a trussum a trussum stone anything especially realistic statues of any kind make me worried about. Yeah.

And Red flops down to the ground. And I use my prime evil awareness to sense whether there are any giants within a five-mile radius. And as Red's shopped off ear is pressed to the ground, he looks up at Murray and says, I can do this. They're my favorite enemy, giants. You've got a good one on your team. And he points to himself with his thumb. Mario looks over at Jack, and she's like, what's his dog?

least favorite enemy. Spiders! That's a great question. Let me know if you can figure out how this works, because I've been studying it for a while, and I have no idea. Red, as you press your severed ear to the earth, you feel the vibrations of giant footsteps. There are indeed about a dozen giants within a five-mile radius, though there are five much closer.

Vive, much closer. I can't tell what kind, but based on the weight of them. They're not friendly. What's a friendly weight for giants? At what weight class do they start being nice? Cloudy weight. Bantam? Am I right?

Yeah. Some of them, yeah. We don't have long. How far, roughly, like, 100 meters, two miles? You know that they're roughly within, like, a mile of you, maybe, the closest ones? Five within a mile. And I'm just going to look around. Yeah.

Is there sort of a place we can hide? Should we get, I mean, if there are a mile, we can probably hoof it. Keeping a mile distance shouldn't be hard. Like, what are we thinking? Well, if anyone knows where the giant stronghold is, it's giants. I don't know if we're in a position to sneak up on them. Five giants versus four of us. Let's not forget.

Last time we tangled with the stone. It was a long time ago, but I don't think we should try to take on the numbers if they outnumber us. No. Well, if we, no, and I'm not suggesting we would because if we take them out, they can't lead us back home. But if we maybe check on them in 10 minutes and you can figure out what direction they're headed in or something. Well, what if we kind of did a bit of both? I mean, you know, it's pretty open here and we'd be able to see them coming. But, you know, if they're not looking for us, we might be able to just hide and spot them and see where.

they're going you want to try to follow them i could check because i have polymorph perfect so i could turn into a bird or something you could kind of fly up ahead and they wouldn't think anything other a bird get it i mean put it this way it's a risk if you did that and something went wrong i don't know how fast we'd be able to get to you i could send somebody i could turn somebody else into a bird too if we wanted to make it a team of two two birds and one stone giant oh no that's the name of the Let's look at this stone tressum first and then see how we feel. It was a good reason to stop and see, hey, is there any stone giants immediately around who are going to try and petrify us? And I admit, I might be a little jumpy when it comes to being stone.

It's not fun. Did not go well last time. He had a bad trip. Did you want to roll an investigation check? I'd love to investigate this thing. I think Red's just going to keep an eye on our surroundings. Excellent. He's just going to play Scout.

28. Hey. All right, Jack, you learn everything there is to know about this tressum. Your suspicion about the tressum, first off, being a petrified creature as opposed to a skillfully worked statue is well-founded. Oh, poor guy. You can tell based on the detail, the eyelashes of the tressum, the hair between the pads of the feet. I mean, if you look close enough, you can see everything. all the the tiny striations on the feathers of its wings this is clearly something that used to be alive

oh it's a boy and that is and what a boy beautifully carved i i take out the little brush that i keep in my backpack for archaeological digs and stuff and start to carefully clean off this this poor tressum and sort of remove it from the from the ground until i'm carrying it in my arms in one piece its face is contorted as if in pain or fear and its depiction is as if mid-flight you can imagine that this creature was plucked from the air and then looking at the place where it lies in the ground this scratch of churned earth suggests that the statue or this petrified creature landed on the road at the end of a long low parabola skidding to a a halt and you can almost look and project to see where the other end of that parabola would be somewhere south of the road in the same direction that red indicated as being where the giants are what do you think jack yeah what do you see with this thing was it flying or was it thrown jack pulls up a illusory map in front of us of the sort of surrounding area that we can see and

kind of project off well red said giants in five miles this way so it's kind of put that big like you know, giant figure on the map and sort of draw the arc of this tressum. And, you know, I tell that story of this poor living creature turned to stone by giants, probably fleeing from that direction. You know, if we find ourselves with a spare moment, maybe we could help it, Marie. I think we could probably find a way to do that. Maybe later tonight, but... Yeah.

Mari sort of just sort of strokes it very gently. Throw it in the bag of holding. Put in the bag And see the red Throw it bodily just into a bag Oh it's leg broke off It's fine right All right well let's keep going then I suppose right

I'll admit that The part that worries me is They got to eat at some point And they aren't afraid to eat in people And that poor guy Probably was somebody's pet Yeah You think the tressum was someone's pet

You think they took someone else else. It didn't look like a wild tressom to me. The eyelashes on it were in perfect condition. It looked really well groomed and taken care of. Somebody loves this tressum. Smascair on that tressum. Someone likes dressing up their fucking cat. It's got a little coat on and the balls on this thing. I didn't realize that this isn't a wild tressum. That changes some things, I suppose. I mean, if someone was on this road, they got attacked and they got taken prisoner, then yeah.

Can I look on the ground for any tracks that might indicate. a scuffle or indicate that. Oh yeah, look here, a bunch of giant tracks. Definitely. Mm-hmm. So you leave the gray veil run. Sneakily. Out to war, very sneakily.

We're constantly watching the horizon for tall creatures. Yeah. Yeah. Well, the handy thing about giants is that despite what your dungeon master often throws upon you, they're quite large creatures and they're not very stealthy. Basically, it would be difficult for them to sneak up on you. However, it's hiding behind a really big bush sometimes. Yeah, so you leave the road and you head towards where the sort of genesis of this tressum parabola probably was.

Jack, why don't you check over there, Doren, you take over there, Mari over there, and I'll check over here. I feel like we're all spreading out kind of looking through like bushes and like underbrush to kind of try to find any signs. of tracks. Yeah, absolutely. After some searching, you do find some concerning evidence. Dun, dun, done, done. A gum wrapper. A giant gum wrapper.

Someone was smoking a cigarette. Hubba, baba, the giant kind. Littering. Add that to the sins of the giants. Mari just finds an entire arm. Human or what? It's human, but it's also gripping like a big crab. Oh, no.

That says, giants killed me. Mm-hmm. No, you got giant footprints in the snow. There's some humanoid footprints. There was definitely some commotion going on here. Can I roll survival to determine some of the info that I might be able to find on them? I have advantage on tracking these people. Do you think, Red?

Both humans and giants. Humanoid's and giants, I should say. That would be a natural 20. Yeah, you did. And I roll with advantage Maybe I'll get two Oh do it Red what does it look like

When you are like assessing these footprints Red never likes to make a show of it Like the minute he starts looking at it With any sort of concern And then notices Jack like studying him He like immediately dumbs it down He's like ah I think this is it And then he sees these like tracks

He's like oh there I think this might be one An elephant perhaps Red, you see that there are humanoid footprints here that belong to either a small or a young creature based on their size and the weight of the indentation. The distance apart and the dragging of the feet indicated that they're running and tired. You also see that there are giant footprints here, barefoot and slender suggesting stone giants to you. And with your natural 20, you also detect in and amongst all of this

kerfuffle, which is the technical term, there are hoof prints and paw prints here. Well, it looks like this was stone giants plus some hoof and paw prints. And it doesn't look like

a human friend one necessarily. And red draws his bow and starts looking towards the direction they had. You can track the human footprints and it would appear the chasing giant footprints through the snow, through the trees with your bow drawn. You come to a sad tableau.

The body of an old mule lies in the snow crushed. Nearby, the statue of a halfling crouches, with her arm flung out to one side, an expression of anger and fear contorting her face. her stone hair blows off her shoulders in threads that would take the hands of a craftsman decades to perfect no statue a petrified woman oh my god thank you once i can do a wonderful big trance Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters.

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