Dice Shame - 2-18 | 'Take The Bait'

Episode Date: December 29, 2022

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: swearing, violence.Part of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Everyone, let's hide. Get small and hint. That's always the best advice for hiding around a place. All right, throw her in the hole. Oh, no. Yeah, Red. Are you afraid? Dorian, do you want to help here?

Afterwards, we'd have some bland stew to warm up. All right, I'm going to go find a tree. What are you going to do for the sound? Every basketball trick, just a boulder that could kill you. I'm not crying. My face is sweating. Stone Giant sounds a lot like paper cut in Giant. I just thought I'd ask.

Just me and Chief Go? I cast Misty Sip and I disappear. Jack? Now you're getting it. Damn it, fucking yes. I mean, Mari, wait, that's not, Jack? What the hell? Oh, you're learning.

MVP this week, welcome back to Dachane. This is season two, episode 18, take the bait. MVP this week goes to Dahlgren Marquis from Twitter, who tagged us as their favorite overall podcast. Thanks so much, Dalgren, you're the best. well it's that time of the year again we'll round in the end of 2022 and we just wanted to take a second to say thank you thank you to all the fans friends and listeners who have made dyeshaim what it is thank you to past and present players alike who have given this show heart made it such a joy to create thank you to those who have reviewed shared and spread their love of dyeshaim and finally thank you to you yes you whether you be someone i've already mentioned or something else entirely thank you for being along with us on this ride we can't wait to take you to some truly magical places hope you've had a

wonderful year and that 2023 is better than ever for you all right should we do this yeah let's do it Woo! I just want to talk about weird restaurant stories, really, because I have one, and it was when we were in Lisbon years ago. We'd gone to Lisbon. We were, like, looking for restaurants. We found this one that was recommended. We're like, okay, let's go check it out.

It's seafood. Let's go have a nice seafood time. We go to this restaurant, and the very first thing that happens is they hand you a random number. and then they put you in like a holding pen outside. It's like a patio, sort of, but there's a bazillion people and nowhere to sit. And the numbers they give you are not sequential. So you just get a number.

You pray to the RNG God. There's a little screen up there that has the numbers that appear. They would announce it, sometimes in English and sometimes in Portuguese. And it would just be like 64, 1,2008. four and you're like what's happening I see people with beers I want to get a beer so I go and it turns out the only way you can get a beer is you go to the bar

you pay for a beer they give you a token you go back to the holding pen you put the token in a slot in the wall and you hold a cup up to the little like dispenser and that gives you exactly one pint of beer oh my god we finally sit down and they find out that all the food is

by weight so you're trying to figure out how many I love how many pounds of shrimp one person can eat There's all kinds of stuff There were barnacles in the menu I almost got them Oh interesting I'd try a barnacle I tried I was like let's get Let's get spider crab I've never had spider crab before I order it and the guy leaves

And about five minutes later I got tap on the shoulder And there's a man behind me and he's holding an entire spider crab alive And they're huge they have big giant fucking three foot long legs And he's like yeah and I'm like I don't what to what metric do I judge what do you want me to do with this looks good to me what do I got a new pet now I guess what's

like what's it's politics I don't know has this one recently been cancel on Twitter so I'm like sure it looks great and and then and then see brings it back out and then you only get to crack it with like a little piece of plastic and like a plastic mallet but you're at a shared table

and beside us was this like lovely couple having a lovely night and I am whacking away slamming away with a mallet on a spider crab sending bits of shell bits of shell and meat flying everywhere

and I'm just apologizing and it's I had a great time Andy got food poisoning so he should have said no when they brought him out his barnacles like no actually this one looks bad

That was a, it was, so that's my little journey of a story, but, uh, I- That's hilarious. I do love to hear people's, like, bizarre restaurant stories, because, like, I feel like everyone has to experience where you go and you're like, what happened? Yeah, I got a good one, especially about what happened. So for my 30th birthday, we had a dinner in the dark. Oh, yeah. Um, which was a meal that you eat completely, completely in the dark. Uh, we went with friends of ours.

And if, for anyone who doesn't know, these are kind of gimmicky dinners, you, There's no light anywhere. You are led in by your waiter. You are let in. You sit at your table. You don't know the meal. You don't know anything. You have to feel around very slowly.

Very, very fun. Do you get drinks? You get drinks. You get everything. So we did a dinner in the dark in Berlin. So we didn't speak a word of German. We didn't understand what the fuck was going on. And just to make it extra, extra fun, it was a theater production.

And you might ask, how the hell would you do a theater production? Well, so it was all glow in the dark. Huh. And what they did is they told the story of Nosferatu in the dark. In German. In German. So imagine this. You're sitting there.

You're eating something. I think it was chicken gravy. I honestly don't know. With two. And all, you know, the entire birthday long, my best friend. Also named Alex, just in case they weren't enough. There you go. Is leaning over every few words.

So the vampire comes into the city. And basically he wants to find a bird. ride and then this huge just face just appears out of nowhere and then this you know on this speaker you hear and dark and pride and they don't know what the hell's going on

and then these bats just glow in the dark bats just everywhere all around you and we're just like what the fuck and the thing is it was like interactive to the point where like they put stuff between your legs and like squirt stuff on you and like flutter your hair

so like we're like sitting there In the pitch black, we're like drunk. We're in a place we've never been before in a country we've never before. We're not understanding a lick of the language with these giant cartoonish glow in the dark, vampire faces being like thrust at you. It felt like a fucking fever dream. It was amazing. And not just that the serving staff is largely vision impaired or blind.

And so they are also navigating using, like similar to how you would do in a photography dark room where they're, they're keeping from bumping into each other by clicking their tongues as they're moving around. So you're hearing this constant like clicking ticking noise of people walking around. It's very interesting. And somehow after this, I was inspired to make it. I don't know how, but basically. It was a brutal night of curry worst and clicking noises and just van. The food was delicious.

The food was delicious. I don't even remember what it was because it was such a freaking surreal experience. You know, I loved hearing Alex trying to explain it to me. you know him is and the bats are meant to be a metaphor for germans never mind i'm just like i don't know that's hilarious i i remember accidentally like reaching across the table to paw around looking for my wine glass and accidentally holding hands with his pregnant girlfriend yeah yeah yeah yeah she was into it it was all great oh it was nice shame goes to germany and experience this yeah what about you rob when you were you were talking about travel earlier i i do

Like I did have a very similar moment where it's like early on. I think I'd started dating, Rach, like, a month, less than a month. And a friend of hers was going on the like the ships and dips cruise for the bare naked lady. And it was like, they haven't sold out yet. You can get tickets for just the price of tax to get on the boat. So it's like, well, all right, we've been dating for a couple of weeks. Fuck, let's go on a cruise together. Let's see how that goes because it's real cheap or whatever.

And it was definitely one of those like, okay. We show up in Miami. Our luggage is in Texas. Okay. So now we all have to find all of our stuff and get on a cruise and get whatever. I mean, survived for another decade or whatever together. But it was definitely one of those like, oh, that's a testing travel moment for sure. That's awesome.

Oh, man. But I mean, that's attitude. You just got to like be there to be in it. Yeah. Although I don't think I, although that's really easy to say a decade later. And in the moment, I don't think I was nearly that chill. Oh, yeah, no. I tried, though.

I love those moments, though, where you're just like, I guess I got to hold it together. What about you, Alex? Where's your fanci? Where's your strangest? Honestly, this is just... You've been to Thailand. You've been to South Korea.

There must be some stuff there. Yeah, I was thinking about all that. I only went to kegs the whole time. McDonald's, that's it. No, we ate a lot of strange places. I guess the weirdest. meal was like, you know, we're walking along in the shops and stalls and there's

like, they're barbecuing on little habatchas and you're like wondering where this meat even came from. But your story about the restaurant with the lineup in the pen, you know, it did, it did inspire me to think out there

that it's now unique and it really gathers a lot of people or it attracts a lot of them. Well, the food is pretty good. I will say that. The food is pretty good, but I will say the funniest thing was that last summer my The sibling went to Lisbon, and I got a text that was like, I'm at the weirdest restaurant right now. Oh, no way.

It was the same one. It was. It was. Stay away or try the barnacles and let me know how they taste. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I should have gotten the barnacles. And don't eat whatever Andy had. Yeah, really. Yeah, the spider crab.

The same, no, different spider crab. No, I think it was the same one. It's a big spider crab. How does he get sick and you didn't get sick? I was fine. I just have a hardier constitution. A higher constitution school. A higher con.

I rolled, we both rolled and he just rolled a Nat 1 on it. Speaking of Constitution saves, shall we place in D&D? Let's do it, let's do it. Let's go kill some crabs. Leaving the gray veil run into the scrubby forest to the south, the humped shoulders of trees laden with snow look like the silhouettes of conspiratorial strangers. After some searching, you find concerning evidence,

giant footprints in the snow, the footprints of a humanoid, and following these, you come to the petrified form of a young halfling woman. She crouches in the snow as if to defend herself, her eyes staring blankly up at the sky in terror, mouth twisted in a silent scream. Her long hair is frozen in motion, caught by some long-gone gust of winter air. Snow has begun to ice over her shoulders.

in the hood of her cloak. Damn. Oh, my God. We've seen them turn people to stone in their bellies, but I don't think we've seen them turn people to stone like this. Yeah. Only the result of it. Hmm.

Oh, this is unnerving. We really got to keep an eye out. Yeah. You know. They just crushed that mule. Seems senseless. Yeah. This was a well-cared-for animal.

It's wearing, like, a... jacket. It's got like a woven blanket on its back and it's an old animal meaning that it wasn't used for you know labor anymore but more like a companion. Red looks down at the mule and sort of shakes head remembering Asta and how his companion died not too long ago. Marie do you have any charms that could help this this poor woman turned to stone? Uh I mean I think I could do something but she looks at her sheet and she's like I only got one fifth level spell slot

Yeah I mean look don't blow your load It might make sense to come back and use it Put her in the portable hole Low your load Trying to figure Just cram her in Kidding me All right throw her in the hole

As you're standing discussing what to do with this Halfling Woman, you hear the crumbling sounds of giant footsteps nearby. Oh, no. We're going to have to take some cover and hide. Yeah, everyone, let's hide. And Red will cast pass without trace. Quick, everybody, um, get small and hit, climbs behind that. And Doren folds into his transformer, uh, mini size.

Duran just, Doren hops into the, into the hole, the portable hole. Dorn like kind of crows behind a tree and makes like a rock and covers himself with his cloak type thing Oh cool Come on everyone get to this underbrush And he lies flat Jack follows Red's lead

That's always the best advice For hiding around a place Yeah Mori where he follows and uses Druid craft to create a little bit of like wind That brushes away any footprints That would have been left behind I was just about to say

That's smart as hell Oh, good one. And Red will also scamp her 25 feet up the tree so that the sphere is still there, but then he can actually get eyes on something because he's pretty sneaky. Yeah. You wait for a few minutes, tense for these giants approach. But the sounds don't seem to be getting any closer. In fact, Red, with your vantage point, you do see an occasional stone giant head visible

above the trees about, I don't know, 250 feet away. How far is a reasonable distance? I don't think you need to work with a distance. You can just define what you want it to do. Red, you see an occasional stone giant head visible above the trees. It's far enough away that you don't feel immediately threatened, but you can make out two giants in the distance for sure. That's like 250 feet away. Fuck off you.

Red doesn't say anything, obviously. I think he'll just watch them, watch their sort of course. Are they carrying anything? Can I see anything of them? Occasionally, you do see like a boulder being thrown and some crashing sounds.

What do you see, Red? I see some giants. They're throwing a boulder. They're heading west of here. Oh. They don't seem to be moving. Are they just playing? They might be.

Maybe a giant game With a big rock That can crush someone Oh, rock ball Ha ha ha ha ha Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha Ah Rock ball

Afterwards we'd have some bland stew To warm up Can I roll A little bit of intelligence For a moment When I spent time with harsh nag We spoke a lot of our giants And I know that they have stone melding, that the stone giants can move through stone.

That's right. I don't know if they can move through any hard object like ice or water or wood. Is it irrelevant or is it only stone? You recall the combat that you had with the stone giants before recovering Jack's body, where they used this ability in the canyon. and you do remember that there seemed to be kind of a perimeter of effect based on the ground type. I remember being stone. Packed earth is not the same as stone in this regard.

So their abilities would be limited based on the environment type. Good. Okay. Perfect. Red climbs back down and he says, when we were fighting them, the time that Jack got taken, they used this ability where they could move through it. But I don't think it would work on any other materials. So if we did want to combat them, let's keep that in mind. I know there's a big frozen lake over there. And even maybe this packed earth, it would at least allow them to stay within our sights and not come around us. If we did end up being cornered by them, if we decide to follow,

falling back to that location in red points to the ice, might be smart. because then at the very least again they won't be able to flank us. I agree. That's a pretty good idea. Yeah. Thank you. I thought so too.

I was just looking out there and I was like, ah, I wonder. And that's what I thought. And now we know. You're the expert on fighting giants. Yeah. Apparently. Let's scoop this statue

into the portable hole and then follow them and then when we get a quiet moment, maybe we can see what we can do to save her. Right before a long rest. Yeah. That helps Jack put The person turned a stone into the portable hole. Oh, easy does it.

Doreen, do you want to help here? A one of her hair broke off. Oh, no. Just got a haircut. It's fine. She needs a haircut anyway. Mari slips the piece of hair that, like, broke off into her bag. Either it's going to be given back as a thing

or it's going to be used for some spooky magic thing at some point. Good. Love it. Red walks back to the mule. Is there anything to indicate that there was another rider or anyone else beyond this person and the tressum that they had? Not that you can see. Yeah. Red uses primeval awareness.

Can I tell how many giants are over there throwing that boulder? There are definitely two in that area that you saw, and there are more in the not immediate area. So there are three more within about another mile, and then there's way more around, but not immediately there. Okay. I mean, meta, I'm really hesitant to interact with them because they are really, really tough, and we don't need to fight them. Yeah, no, I'm also in hesitation mode. Yeah, but I also, like right now, technically, we have what we need. We have the person, we have the tressum.

But I also recognize that questioning them and finding the location is an easy get, especially for a week out from the nearest civilization. If it's only two, that might be smart. So the question here could be a direct confrontation, but then I would argue that leading them to a place. that we want to so that we could ambush would be smarter than going to wherever they are. Yeah.

Thoughts? Well, in what direction are they? Like, are they across this lake? Mm-mm. Could we become our own... What's where I'm looking for? Ambush? Yeah, like, could we be our own bait

and ambush them onto the ice? And then that's... Yeah, like someone could. They're only a football field away. But 250 meters. You have pass without trace for another 10 minutes. You're very sneaky.

Your giants are your favorite enemy. Why don't you go lay eyes on them? Just see what there is to see. Yeah, Red. Are you afraid? Well, because if something goes wrong... Then run away. Very fast, because you're very fast.

Why don't we position ourselves in such a way in this area here so that we can sort of ambush the giants and that way we can get the drop on them and we can draw their attention and have them come this way? Draw them into an ambush. Yeah.

Yeah, oh right I can get it in that tree This ground isn't stone Red clears a bit of the snow Do we have like thomatergy or something That could create a noise I don't think much would take to draw them I don't think so either

In fact I'd put myself out there as a bait I mean I do have I do have druid craft I can just cause a small Like a sass sound Oh sure let's do that instead So Doran doesn't have to

Put himself out there All right I'm gonna go find a tree And remember we kill one, we keep the other alive to question. Red heads off. Mari sort of goes over to another clump of trees that's sort of near

red, but just hides behind them. Red waves. Are you excited for your first ambush? Not really. You're going to do great. I'll try my best. Trust me, it's much better to do. Bring them to us than for us to go to them. Is it though?

Yeah, because we get to be in position. I like to imagine that rather than even have to do anything, they just hear the sound of people whispering. Someone's getting ready to ambush us. What are you going to do for the sound? You should make the sound of a female stone giant. Oh, God, no.

We don't know they're not ladies over there. Fred, do you know? Oh, true, true. They could be. Maybe they're lesbian. Or gay, it's true. Yeah. Let's not presume the stone giant.

Sexuality. That's a lot of I did it. We're really throwing at them. All stone giants are canonically gay. Oh, I like that. I'm just thinking of the line from this. Dad, why did you bring me to a place full of gay stone giants? They're always hard.

God. Damn it. Do you know if there's like an animal they like or is there something that they love trussums? Do you know? They like Jack. You like jazz? A bit of stone jazz. They like rock music, sorry.

Oh, God. It's right there. Common misconception, actually. They're into adult contemporary, sorry. It ain't got that swing. You know what? They hate other giants. They're really xenophobic.

Maybe if you made the sound of a hill giant, or right. You don't know what that sounds like. Yeah. Well, it sounds like this. And Red does a tiny minor illusion to help aid in Mari's major illusion. Which is actually like the death rattle of Chief Gha

or like her war cry. And he just does it really small and quiet just enough so Mari can hear. She casts Druid Craft in the sound echoes out but it's kind of a little bit messed up so less of a death rattle and more of all of a sudden you just hear the sound if you can understand the language she's going ow oh oh a paper cut why why do you speak giant no but she just screwed it up so it didn't i do it phonetically so like because i speak giant so i basically do it

phonetically and you copy it which is why it's broken telephone i was like ow ow ow ow i will kill all stow giants and it comes out after the telephone of ow ow ow a paper cut she's like oof oof ouch my bones. Stone giant sounds a lot like paper cut in giant. I don't know why. Doran, from your vantage point, you're the farthest south of everyone about a hundred feet

out. You catch glimpses of these stone giants through the trees. They appear to be in the midst of a destructive frenzy.

You watch as one tears a chunk of ancient stonework from its foundations with its bare hands and just crushes it to stone powder. Oh yeah, they like breaking shit. Jerks. I know, it's like Jack's least favorite kind

of giant. Fuck them. I try to block them out every time because they break all the fun stuff. They do. They ruin your archaeological dig. They're like 13 year old boys. Yeah, they love graffiti and shit. Dorn's like biting his fist as these things are destroying this ancient and he's going, oh

Jack's going to hate this. And then you see their heads swivel at the same time as they hear Mari's illusion of weird fake hill giant frustrated about a paper cut and then everyone hears these long, lumbering footsteps as this stone giant start moving towards your party. Everybody roll for initiative. Duran looks back, giving you all knowing look

That the giants are on their way You'd like a nod. Turn to the knowing look. Like that nod. The knowing look never left. You know that nod in that movie? Everyone knows the nod. It's time.

So did you just create, did you create an illusion or just a sound effect? Ooh, good question. Probably just a sound. It's a sound, yeah, it's just a sound. But I could have the head of a hill giant poking out or the head of Chief Gah poking out above the top of a tree.

It would fill a five-foot square. So it's just like the head of herself. There's a tree blocking the view of the rest of her. For a second, I thought you meant that like you would have the head of this giant? Like if it's like a giant, like a mascot head on you and it's like tiny body. I mean,

I could also do that. Some giants are also so stupid, did I tell you guys? Could you create the illusion of an actual giant? Or is that too big for you? So it's got to fit in a five-foot cube. And so behind, like behind the big rock over there, I could put the head of a giant, like the top five feet of Chief Gus sticking out of the, like out from behind that rock. Yes.

Yeah. All right. What everyone get for initiative? Mari, 21. Nicely done. 12. Oh, no. What happened, Red?

I rolled low. Were you sleeping? No, that's how die works. Thank you for the lesson. Doren. You were questioning it. It's an 18. Okay.

And Jack? Eight. What happened? Yeah, you're real. No, Jack's always slow. I'm busy maintaining this illusion. I just didn't have time to chief girl illusion. The illusion of having my life together.

All right, folks. Mari, you hear these lumbering footsteps coming towards you. And you see giants start to appear. here in the distance. I cast Misty Sip and I disappear. No. Now you're getting it. Fucking yes.

Oh, you're learning. Jack? I mean, Maori. Wait, that's not Jack? What the hell?

It would be funny, though. Two giants appear in the distance. Oh, it's not too distant. From me? Not from you. They're quite close. Mari, what do you do? This fills her with fear.

She's never seen anything this size. Like, she's pretty freaked out by witnessing this. You know, she's just used to goo people in crabs and whatever. And she goes to cast Moonbeam just to see. Just to see if it works. Guys, I'm going to try out some spells. I'm just going to try this out? Let me give you a little bit of context to Mari.

Were it not for the size of these trees and ruins scattered near by to give you some visual context, it would be a challenge for you to fully appreciate the size of these stone giants. This is the first time that Mari has ever seen a giant, right? They're athletic. They have high foreheads. This is betraying strength and intelligence. They approximately have a human body type, but they're about 20 feet tall. So you're coming up to like just above knee height. They have clubs and they look like they're fucking ready to take. hair shit apart. Now, what do you want to do?

Giant clubs. That's right, Alex. Clubs with rock music. No, clubs with club music. Oh, I see you're saying. Yes. It's D&B, but it's drum and boulders. Sorry.

Oh, no. That's good. She takes a second, the awe hits, and then she, like, reaches back and feels like all the magic turn to swell up, in her and she goes to cast moonbeam rock and roll constitution saving throw okay I'm just gonna put this out there

they're pretty constituted shit I don't like this um that's a dirty 20 that's uh it's not great for me it's not good does anything happen on a fail or half damage on a successful so how much damage do I take I rolled 19 so I don't know if you round up or down on half 19 damage you rolled down on damage all right So I'm going to take nine damages.

Yes. So either way, this thing is in a big old beam of light that's just pouring out of the sky and Maris feeling a little bit shaken just because she just can't get a grip on this thing. She thought it would work better, and then you get that feeling when you fight something that you're like, oh, no, this is a much stronger opponent

than I thought it would be. Yeah. It's the giant turn. So the giant's going to charge forward towards this chief gah illusion and rounds the back of the rock to see that it is merely a head suspended in air. She looks at them in waves.

She winks. In a five foot square, just a little hand comes. She's like, hey, baby. It's like a hand enters the frame and it's just a wave and a wink. She just keeps rotating around. Like, every time it gets closer, she just slides back around the rock.

She just chasing it as a surface. like a dog or at a table. It's actually the big head is a really tiny body just floating up in space. And you hear the giant in speaking in giant, for those of you who

understand the language, it calls back at its companion. Some foul wizardry is afoot. I really got some body, what's time? Yes. I was ready for... Somebody.

The giant starts singing smash mouth. start coming and they don't stop coming. And having turned around to look back at its friend, it sees Doran there behind the rock, cowering. I'm not cowering. Okay, what are you doing? That's a very different cowering in hiding. I'm hiding.

Let's be clear here. Flexing your muscles, but also being very small in secret. Ready to spring. That's right. I'm not crying. My face is sweating. And as he sees me, my eyes kind of go wide and I'm thinking to myself, oh, shit.

The giant hefts a rock at you, Doren, like picks a piece of it just up off the ground and throws it. Yeah. Unfortunately, it rolled very badly. So that's only of 14 to hit you. That's a miss. Okay. And what are the chances that he hits his friend who's like in the same line of sight?

Zero percent chance. These guys are awesome at throwing rocks. Wow. Okay. It's more like the other guy, catch it and go like under the leg and send it back or something. Pretty much.

Every basketball trick, just a boulder that could kill you. I like the idea, though, that like he would just send it back and not just like turn around and just crush Doren immediately. Well, it's not his boulder. He's got his own boulders.

That's true. You don't use your friend's boulders to kill a dwarf. Trey Gosh. Did you touch my boulder? That's gross. Trey Gosh. Doren. Doren, it is now your turn.

Doran after flinching, understandably flinching from the rock that goes flying over his head and smashes against the bigger boulder that he's kind of huddling under. He is going to turn and run and attack the giant that Mari just did the moon bean bolt. But he's going to try and take as much cover

against this rock that he can. I kind of picture that it's sitting on top of the snow and maybe there's like a slight shelf underneath. Not a big shelf, but just something to give him a little bit of visual cover from the giant that he's attacking. So I don't know if you want to give me advantage on that or anything. No. I just thought I'd ask.

And then he's going to make his attacks two in a row attacking this giant's legs. 28 to hit. Oh, yes. Absolutely. And that is going to do 12 points of damage. Well done. And then he's going to do another attack. That's going to be 24 to hit.

Mm-hmm. And that's going to be full damage, 8, 20 points of damage. Hey. Way to start us off. I mean, Alex started us off, but then this is the way actually to do it. Yeah, taking chunks. Rather than, like, helping to open the jar, I did kind of, like, struggling to open the jar and, like, kind of opening it a little bit.

and then being like, someone bigger do this. I think we made that joke in a previous episode, didn't we? We did, but I did it. I'm doing, like, much worse. That's okay. Dorn's going to hate what happens next. It's this other giant's turn now. And Dorn's like dancing around.

Can't catch me, can't catch me. It's going to move out of the way of this moonbeam that's been sizzling away at its skin. And then the creature is going to pick you up. and throw you. Alex, did you prep your wheel and woe stuff? I do have it, yeah.

Is it wheel or whoa? Whoa, is this wheel? Ah, that's good. Doran, it reaches out a giant hand to grab you. Make a dexterity saving throw as it crouches down to pick you up. That's going to be not excellent. Oh, hold on. Should I use a lucky die here?

Yes. Okay. Not worth it. Let me just ask you, would an eight have passed? Because I didn't roll an eight. I rolled a four, but would have eight and eight have passed? No. Yeah, the creature picks you up and throws you.

Oh no. Against a rock, 60 feet away. You crash into the side of the rock, fall down, and land prone, taking quite a bit of damage. That's too many days. I didn't expect that. Still rolling? Jesus, fuck. 26 damage.

Red. You see Doran fly through the air. Whoa. Smash against this rock and then. Squee down. I want to scream out, but I won't because I'm still hidden. Good thing I'm alone here. I say, go there.

Just me and Chief Gha. Got them. Roll deception. Which two of these, the one near the Chief Gaw illusion hasn't been hit at all yet, right? That's correct. Perfect. I'm going to attack that one. It's going to be a 20 to hit.

You do hit. Perfect. And it can make me a charisma saving throw, please. Oh, charisma. If it turns out that these guys are like super cool as well, I'm going to be pissed. Did you imagine? They're so cool and awesome. Really cool.

Most of them aren't, but this guy is. Just Micah Shades and away they go. Just turns and does finger guns at you? Oh, that's a six. It is banished. The thing disappears. Huh. Yeah.

Wow. It just gets banished, but suddenly it's reappears. in the copper cup. Can I ask you a question? Yeah. Where the fuck did you send it? The copper cup. He's like, I don't know.

I figured they just go into the bag of holding. In my head, I like to imagine that like it's just gone forever, but it gets, it gets sent to like wherever Doran's from. And when we arrive there, it's become a part of Doran's family. Like it's like sitting around the table and it's like knees up around his head. And they were like, one day he just appeared and we adopted him into the family. Doran, meet your new brother. He reminded us of you so much, and it was...

Or it just comes back and it's wearing like a cute sailor outfit. But he's so cool and he likes jazz. Excellent. Well done. Red. Terrifying for the implications. Oh, sorry. And as a bonus action, I want to cast fairy fire on the other guy. So he has to do a deck soon. Okay, dook. Thirteen.

That is a fail. So the other one is now outlined in a red hue. And now every attack on this creature gets rolled with advantage. Excellent. All right, everyone. Kill it. Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters. Alexander, Artistic Witch, Brian Blass,

Brianne-Weber, Michael Weber, Brain Marie, Christopher, Colin Burkhart, Creature, Cytoc, Cytocene, Daniel, Elizabeth H. Glory, Doug, Kirsten Wolf, Haley, Heather Nichols, K.R. Lars, Lazzania, Leader J, Lorelei Feldman, Last Ruth on the left, Lost with Two Faces, Marimo, Melissa, Moss, Matilda rushing, Matt Wordberry, Merlin, Michelle Kahn, Tama Konatsa, Reagan, Shadowhaven, Sky, Terra, Tony Pepperone, Trapper 933, and Tyler. Thank you so much. Oh. Picture a stone giant floating on the astral plane.

I'm so angry I want to smash things. But it's so beautiful here. I'm suddenly at peace, yeah. Yeah, it's just, it's finding. I'm going to think about that actually, though, for a second, right? You got this really dumb stone giant, xenophobic. pieces of shit. No, no, but they're racist.

They're smarter than you. But they're racist, so they're dumb. Totally, totally, totally. Because nothing that is xenophobic can be smart at all. And I'm calling everyone. Yeah, you're a fucking idiot, by the way. Get fucked. For real.

But, you know, the stupid dumb skinhead gets basically zapped to space for a moment, right? And he's just like, you know, I picture this, like, 2001 Space Odyssey moment where he's, like, seeing all these colors and these, the racism is just washing away. It just sees the beauty of the universe Oh, he comes back all woke Yeah, he comes back all woke I can't wait to question this guy after We're gonna lean into this

He goes back wearing your shirt that says Nazi stone giants get out Yeah, yeah yeah I found my My future boys