Dice Shame - 2-28 | 'Sniff Around'

Episode Date: March 9, 2023

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: swearing, violence.Part of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Stevie, you're amazing. Now that I think about it, maybe that wasn't such a... The last thing she heard was a big explosion and then no content. Don't touch that either. All right, well, these two are trapped. What if they're trapped because there's treasure inside? There's probably 3,000 gold worth a coin sitting here. The sound of people dying.

You moron! They got really excited by a puzzle. Yeah, Murray sees this and runs for the door. You're an archaeologist. Jack, Doran's going for it. Very nicely crafted, but this is definitely not a thick foot. It's not a foot thick. What?

I'm pretty sure whatever you're doing there, you're going to be able to read what's inside of that. Welcome back to Dice Shame. This is Season 2, Episode 28. Sniff around. MVP this week is Moose McGrittle, who found us after listening to malevolent and has been ruthlessly binging to catch up.

Thanks so much for listening, Moose. I hope you get to hear this soon. Happy International Women's Day. If you identify as a woman today, Dyshame is celebrating your strength, intelligence, talent, and tenacity. And to everyone who contributes towards breaking glass ceilings and status quoes, we see you and we appreciate the fight. Let's keep making space for each other.

And a special shout out to all the women DMs in the world. You have no idea how much what you do matters. All right, should we play some D&D? Let's do it. I want to say thank you to, well, obviously Joe would have chimed in if she wasn't working, but thank you to Rob because, you know, I knew if Joe wasn't available that you'd come through for me on all of the questions I had last night. A nerd with a file full of dates. You know, I'm like, I'm like, I'm reading my notes back, you know?

Oh, what year are we in? Yeah. I thought you meant this year. I was like, 2023, Alex. How high are you? Yeah, really. Rob, you are absolutely correct. Hey.

Episode one took place in Elaint of 1492, the 25th. All right. To be specific. And today is the seven of Alturiac. Well done. There we are. Altiriac. Sounds like some sort of...

Altiriac motives. The claw of winter. To me, it sounds like a drug. And then next month, we're looking forward to... Asked your doctor about Altiriac. Is it chess? Chess, the claw of sunsets. A lot of claws.

Well, you're not even ready for next month, which is Tarsak, the claw of storms. Why so many claws? There's three claws in a row. And then we get to the melting. So many threatening months. Listen, weather sucks. The world sucks. The world is about to end.

It's just. But you know, I had asked because I'm kind of, I was trying to like, you know, with all the ad, you know, the ad lib stuff we do, I was. I was like, does my backstory make sense? Like, can I have this, all these things happen in my lifetime so far? Like, I'm a hundred and eight. You're like old. Yeah.

My favorite part isn't that Alex is asking that. It's that he's asking that 170 episodes into his fucking show. He's like, does this make sense, got three years into it? And yet he's just fucking barreled forward for three years. But I'm reading, I'm reading my notes and they're like hilarious, right? I'm not going to read them out loud, but they're like, they're like, oh, Doran's this. No, no, no, no. no this is what happened no no no no this is what happened oh no no no this is what happened

and then they're like none of that but you know what like dorin maybe just doesn't fucking care to remember Alex your flaw could be a quirk it could be a benefit no no no because I've got it all worked out now well not all of it but it only took you seven you are 38 years old 39 years old who how old are you in real life me oh 38 yeah 38 how much shit do you remember from when you were 15 you know Yeah, it's like broad strokes, but not a ton of detail. And Doran is 108. Not like a ton of detail, but like, you know, I was married.

He's been drunk for most of those years. So for 15 years. So I'm like, okay. And then I was in, the thing is I was reading up on canon in like D&D. And there's been like no wars. That's your first mistake. Oh, I don't care about that shit. They're totally.

No, we invented wars. Yeah. There's been all the wars that you and I have invented. Perfect. I do not give a shit about that. I literally named this year, 1493, a different year than what is canonically in the D&D lore because they want to establish that we are not working with... True.

In this lore, the Page family, oh, boy. They're mule merchants. Or, sorry, manure, mule mure merchants. That's what Wands means. It means shit. It means shit. Yeah. Just kidding.

The mule puts out a wand. Oh, we got a big load of wands today. Oh, no. Anyway, let's play some fucking community. Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it. The ringing of Jack's explosions in your ears and the fresh corpses of several humans at your feet. You look on as the locked door reacts to the musical chord and grinds open.

Do-a-na-na-na-na-ha-n-ha-n-ha-n-ha-n-h. Does it normally hurt that much? I don't think I can hear anything. What? What? What? Sorry. Is somebody talking right now?

I can't hear anything. Fucking Zintarum. Why do they keep doing this to us? Oh, God. Yeah. Pretty terrible people. I like to keep it short in the summer. Thank you.

You're welcome. What? When the door is open and when the ringing stops, maybe we can go through. I think. Yeah, Jack tentatively peeks his head into the room that we've unlocked with the funky key he bought from Doran's cousin.

Yeah, that's right. Tried to see if all this carnage around them was worth it. Several boxes are arrayed inside this dark room. The smaller ones are about three foot cubes and are made of shiny gray metal with raised detailing. They're stacked on the north and south side, about 10 of them in total.

There are larger boxes too, rectangular and more ornate. On the east side of the room, one large box is polished to a clean chrome shine. On the west, three boxes lie in a sea formation. Two of them are white stone, one topped with a polished skull, the other surrounded by what look like coins of various denominations. The third is carved wood. The rest of the room is empty, apart from some mouse droppings that crunch unpleasantly under your feet, Jack. Hmm. You know, it's not the worst thing.

Given some of the dank places we've been. Oh, look. Chocolate. No. Is it worth coming in? Yeah. It's hard to know what to make of this place. Is he talking right now?

Yeah, Red. What? What? Red walks into the room. He said a, cca, cuffin? It looks like a coffin. That looks like a coffin. I mean.

Do you go in? Yeah. Yeah. What are we looking at here? Let's do this. I'm going to. I just fucking told you so much about what I know. Yeah.

That was all described. But like, can we... Wow, look at all these cool. Oh, what the hell am I stepping on? Mouse poop. Yep. That's mouse poop. Oh, were there mice in here?

I look around. Are there any mice holes? Um, nothing you see immediately. Hey, here, go have fun. I reach into my bag and pull out Stevie. I put him down. Go, go, go find yourself a nice husband or bride. Red.

Your little rat emerges from your cloak looking pump. bumped up. This is the first time you spin out of your cloak for a day. Yeah, go ahead. Have some fun. His little black eyes are shining, and he like squirms around excitedly. And then he runs into the center of the room, and he starts sniffing. He presses his little face to the ground, and you watch his flank. What do you smell, boy? Red gets down next to him. What are you sniffing out?

His little flanks are heaving with these great gulps of air he's taking as this little creature is breathing. in. Is my rat dying right now? He's having a hot attack? He's trying to find something? Oh, is he trying to find something? Are you trying to find something, Stevie? He runs over to the metal coffin, the one to the east, and then he takes this really dramatic stance, like a tiny little pointer dog, so his tail is straight out behind him, and his little snout is pointed straight up at the metal box with the front paw lifted, and he just stands there, and you see his little eyes looking over at you, red, and then looking over at you, but he's

just keeping that. And I reach in my pocket. And I give him a little piece of cheese. Good job, boy! And I scoop him up and I hold him kind of cradled in my arms. Is he still pointing? He's still just pointed. My passive perception is 20. Ah.

My passive investigation is 17. Red, you go to reach towards the handles. And then you notice that there are these tiny drilled pores in the sides of the coffin that run all around the perimeter. Light a minute. Looks strange to you. Can I cast speak with animals to see what he sees? what do you what do you sent in there it's fine it's fine it's just me

I'm a friend Red can you tell him I'm okay yeah she's fine it's gonna go boom it's gonna go what and Mari reached out and grabs Red's hand do not open that what why he's pointing

no because it is a bomb a bomb? Yes a bomb stiving rat Stevie and I looked down at Stevie. Oh. Do you detect bombs? Do you smell explosives?

Yeah. Yeah, he finds explosives. Like specifically explosives? Can you find other things that, like other traps or just things that go boom? A bomb rat? Just the only things that go boom. Stevie, you're amazing. I put him on my shoulder.

All right, guys, new rule. If Stevie points to anything, we don't open it right away like I was about to do. Stevie crawls down from your shoulder and begins sniffing again. I think he's getting another bomb. Where's he headed to now? Everyone just holding your fats. And he ends up in front of the wooden coffin. And again, he poses with his little tail out, straight, proud little snout pointing towards his coffin.

Tiny paw lifted. Another thing that goes boom? All right. That's another bomb. So don't touch that either. And I pick him up and I nuzzle him and I put him on my shoulder. Good boy. And red will now.

forever wear this thing on his shoulder like a parrot. Amazing. It's officially canon now. Good job, Stevie. Great job, Stevie. And I give him another piece of cheese. Can't wait until Shale gets a look at him. He's just like, you left me.

Shale is like a toddler now. Shale, I imagine, grows fast. It's like seven feet. Seven feet tall. But he's like a seven-year-old. Like he's like tall. And he's getting to his teenage where I'm like, hi Shale. He's like, come on, Shale.

Who's Shale? It's a great. question. You never met Shale. Never mind. We'll get to that later. Anyway, both of these are bombs. Can we disarm them or maybe I'll take a look?

Yeah. I don't know. What do we do? A investigation? You can make an investigation check. Which one are you looking at? I guess we'll look at the one I'm standing next to. The metal coffin?

Yeah. Sounds great. That's a two. All right. But again, my passive is 17, so. You see that it exists. Yeah. You're not really sure.

I mean, the whole. are definitely very suspicious. These are very suspicious. Jack, you see anything on this one or that one? Yeah, let me take a look. I will carefully poke around. I'll go take a look at the one Red's looking at and sort of peer in some of those holes

and see if I can see what there is to see. Which are right up next to it. Just in case, yeah, I get the shield ready to go half cast just in case something's going to blow up in my face and I need a little eye protection. But I'd like to investigate. 20. Oh, Jack.

With a 20 to investigate this coffin, you notice that the handles that Red almost grabbed look like they could probably be moved in a different dimension than what he had. Like, they could be like pushed in. So not like pulled up or out, but in. So it looks like these handles also push in, which might disarm whatever's in there or at least give a way to access the mechanism. You know, whoever created this was clearly trying to be a little bit tricky. If we wanted to try that, I'll stand back, and maybe I'll try it with my mind,

see if I can push it, Magehand style, in a way that we don't. But it has two handles. Can you do Mage hands? Well, we could try one first and see what happens. Well, you know, I got an idea, too. I have my icy mantle, which negates all damage for once. I don't mind taking the blow on this one if you want to try your hand on the next one. Sure.

Because I only got one of mine. Yeah, I mean, if this is the moment for it, let's get you good and protected. Do we want to look at any of the other boxes? We should look at everything else in the room first. Before we blow this place to Kingdom come. Yeah, that's pretty smart. Yeah, there's a prudent approach. I got really excited by a puzzle.

I got really excited by my rat, and I pet my rat again. Squeaks in your ear. That's pretty handy. How do we feel about the one with the skull on it? Yeah, this one right here. Dorn has been kind of quiet. He's been texting. Wandering around the room, inspecting these metal crates.

Yeah. Can I roll a perception on that? On the crates? Yeah, can I inspect or what would you suggest? What would you allow me to roll? Yeah, you can definitely roll to perceive in general or investigations more like, I don't know, poking around. Yeah, I mean, I guess perceive would be looking at the boxes if there's any writing, if I can figure out what the heck they are. Yeah.

Or where they're from or why they're there. That's going to be a pretty pitiful role. nine. Hmm. They look like, I mean, they're metal, so they're not like boxes that you would be moving around a lot, especially if you are a gnome and they're three feet, you know, cubes. Then here's a question that's easily perceivable. Is this all covered in dust or was this open? Definitely, everything is covered in a thick layer of dust. They've been here for a while. Someone must have been dusting in here.

Or not. That means putting more dust on things, right? Yeah, that's how I do it. That explains a lot. What? Sorry, you touched me. I thought it was dandruff, but this makes more sense. Dandruff, how dare you?

I know. A shampoo daily. Skull coffin? Yeah. We have a marble coffin here. The lid is adorned with a carved white stone skull on top. Red's passive perception fails to detect anything out of the ordinary. All right, well, hold on.

Let's use our noggins, and Red goes to push his head up against it. Is it a human skull, a gnome skull? A num skull? What kind of skull is depicted here? Great question. You can roll a nature check. I'd love to. If that doesn't work, I also have.

I have. Yeah, Mari, why don't you roll it and I'll help you? And we can sort of put our heads together and talk about the features of this skull and whether this ridge is, you know, particularly prominent or that, you know, that might mean ork. I've seen that on orc skulls. You know, what do you think? I rolled a 17.

Nice. And if I was helping, you'd get advantage. Roll, so you get to roll again. basically and take the higher number. Not that much higher, 18. Hey, that's not nothing. That's one higher. Yeah.

Good job, teamwork. We did it. This definitely seems to be a depiction of a gnomish skull, though it is a carving. Mm. All right, well, these two are trapped. Logic would dictate that this one's probably trapped too, right? Like, I mean, I would assume all of these in here have some sort of trappings. Well, but if you were just creating a room to fill it with traps, like you're generally,

I'm getting the vibe, you know, you're wanting to protect something or stop something from being desecrated or something. You might also have other purposes for that. I don't know. All I mean to say is two traps are enough to say all are trapped, or at least enough to assume. If there was only one trapped, I'd be with you, but two is weird. This room could be a tomb.

Dorn kind of pops up behind the first coffin that we didn't open. Ah, Dorange, don't pop up like that. Well, he's scaring me in a spooky tomb room. Yeah, because he's kind of like looking at these things, kind of inspecting a little bit closer, and he says, What if they're trapped because there's treasure inside? I mean, maybe we should look at disarming these traps. Well, there are also coins right here, aren't they?

There's like literal piles of coins directly beside Mari. Yeah, let's just go take those first. Well, hold on. I mean, I'm still with the whole stuff being trapped. I'm going to take a keen eye at the pile of coins. Definitely take those piles of coins. I mean, don't get me wrong. And I look at them.

Yeah, there's... Investigate them. There are four piles of coins. They look to be gold, electron, silver, and copper. Do they look like they could be on a weighted plate? No. Are they kind of piled around that coffin?

They're just piled around a stone coffin. Hmm. Well, Red, do you see anything on this one? There isn't an obvious mechanism. I'll take a looky, Lou. Yeah, I get real close to it, and I start sniffing the one with the skull on top. of it or you get close and let your rat sniff it now he's just a bomb sniffing rat and I tap my

shoulder where he's on it and I pet his little head it's like remi he only smells things go boom but there's been two of them right so far that's a dirty 20 oh for investigation yeah no this coffin seems mundane I don't know this one seems mundane to me but there's always one way to find out and red snaps his fingers and he casts detect magic ah that's what I was thinking too can you read the text of that spell please ooh that means we're onto something folks Cannot go through marble. Oh, damn. Yeah, there's definitely a thickness thing.

How thick is that stone? How thick is that stone? How thick is that stone? I really need to know. Because I'm trying to detect magic. That's good. Finding some loot. There's definitely something magic in the wooden coffin.

Hmm, there's definitely something magic in the wooden coffin But if this stone is too thick I won't be able to see into it Doren, do you have any idea how thick this stone is? Hmm, Doren approaches It kind of runs his hand across the top of it Feeling it Does he know right up at that?

Um, does that explode? Yeah, you fucking die No fingers Doren and what we call him now Oh, that was really a sensitive touching thing Doren, from your engineering know-how you don't think that this stone is going to be a foot thick. Oh, yeah, no. That's very nicely crafted, but this is definitely not a thick foot.

It's not like a foot thick. What? I'm pretty sure whatever you're doing there, you're going to be able to read what's inside of that. All right, so there's no magic inside. There's no tricks or traps that I can see. Jack, Mari, you don't see nothing either. Why don't we take some cover and maybe we can get a volunteer to open the

just in case? As a squishy magic user, I'm going to just wander out of the room. Hey, Veranda. She's not even here. She's not even here. You guys left her. The last thing she heard was a big explosion and then no contact. The sound of people dying.

She's fine. Yeah, well, I got my little icy mantle, which will negate all force damage. How long does that last? A minute, I think. So if we get there, we're really open at everything in a minute. It's going to be fucking. But you don't need to see with your hand anyway, right? No, not necessarily.

The mage hand. It depends on how heavy, like, how heavy the hand can move stone stuff. Definitely can't lift a stone lid of a sarcophagus. I felt confident I could push in a lever, but probably not lift a stone coffin lid. That's for sure. I think Red's even going to have a bit of trouble doing it himself. All right, here's my thinking. Why don't we just take a quick look at all the coffins?

And then, at the end of it, what will do is I'll cast my icy man. and I'll do in descending order of explosiveness, all of them. Yeah. The only downside to that is if you open them in descending... I mean, the boomiest one last is what I'm trying to say. No, no, you should do the boomiest one first, because if you do the boomiest one last, all the other ones will be open and get boomed.

Good call. Good call. All right. That's why I'm the wizard. As you all gather around the wooden coffin, anyone with a passive perception greater than 18, notices that the flames that are painted on this wood lick along the side of the lid of the coffin and drip down to the sides

where they indicate small wooden buttons. There's also a portrait of an old gnome wreathed in flame painted on the top. Hey, Doran, you know this guy? Well, I've always had a fondness for gnomes. It's a dwarf, Doran. It's a gnome. Did I say dwarfs? said gnome. What? Yeah, but I've had a fauna for

Nome. She said Nome. Oh, man. I thought you said Dome. Do I recognize the gnome? No, definitely not. This place is like a thousand years ago. Sorry, never mind. I thought you said to her for some reason. But I love this canonical fact that Doren also loves like

gnomes and goblins. He's got a thing for short people. He's the opposite of Randy Newman. If you're under four feet tall, Doren is there. The problem is I was just reading this all last night. So I was like, Oh, they actually really are, like, very friendly with gnomes and halflings. Not goblins. That's a Doren specific thing.

Yeah, Dorn loves it, goblins. So that's what's up. So there's buttons here, some sort of code, I suppose, and red twiddles his fingers and excitedly. Please don't touch it while we're standing in front of it. I won't touch it while you're standing in front of it. Do the buttons have any numbers or colors or shapes or sizes? Nope. There's six small wooden buttons.

Can I tell what kind of wood it is? Yeah, roll in nature check. What is this? Firewood. It's burned. 29. Whoa! It's a special kind of wood that you know about.

It's Briarwood. Oh, I love Briarwood. It's totally fantasy shit. The buttons, are they in a row? Are they... There's three on one side and three on the other side. And are they in the same place on opposite sides? Like, you know, by the foot of the coffin?

Or, like, you know, are they mirrored? All in a line. Yeah, but I mean to say, are they mirrored? Yes, they're mirrored. Okay. Do you think they'd all have to be pressed at one time to open? I don't know. Dorn, what do they look like on that side?

Kind of crutches down and looks at it closely. And they're all, I assume, they're all in a straight line and look exactly like the other side. Correctamundo. I mean, if you're a gnome, you wouldn't be able to reach around this thing to press them all at the same time. so you would need two people to open it. It could be like a, you know, a dead man switch or whatever. What do you call it when you need two keys at the same time to turn it? Yeah, I don't know what that's called, but I'm sure I've seen it before.

Yeah, in like 80s movies, you know, from the 1380s. In movies, plays, I mean. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hmm, this is a conundrum. But, I mean, that tracks, maybe pushing all them at the same time. Can we, like, roll through this? Like, can we roll to try and, uh, disarm this trap.

It's a great question and it's something that people argue about in D&D all the time is like if my character is smarter than I am shouldn't I be able to roll to figure something out if I can't figure it out? You know what I mean? I think there's certain circumstances but we can figure it out. I'm a big thick

bobo. This seems like a puzzle for us though. But my character is a big smarty pants. All right here's the question. Is the fire that's depicted on the coffin in any way relating to the positioning or size of the buttons. They appear to be very similar in nature in terms of their design, orientation, in terms of the look of the fire that's leading to them.

Okay. Which would lead us to believe that obviously these buttons are related to the fire. Is there anything else on it whatsoever? Any sort of code, any sort of notches? And Red just looks all over the coffin, top bottom. I'm under. You want to roll an investigation check? Yeah. You know, I'm going to do so with advantage. Uh-huh. Why? Just because. Just because I can. Uh, 14. Just say it with enough confidence. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No one questions. Nobody will do whatever you want.

Silence is, uh, in D&D is. Yeah. Red, you don't, you don't notice anything out of the ordinary apart from these buttons. And there's something magic in it, though. Something magic in it, for sure. All right. Well, Doran just takes the initiative. He presses all three buttons. Whoa. That's such a bad idea. Mari's running for the door. You see him kind of like running his fingers along?

You know what? I'm going to dexterity roll to stop him. Oh. Because that's no way on earth. Red would not see that happening. Are we going to do a contested dexterity roll? Yeah, I'll dive across to stop Doran from pressing this door. Yeah, Marie sees this and runs for the door.

My fingers are like, I'm feeling it and I'm like, hmm. Jack, are you going to run? Are you going to stay? I think, like, Jack is obsessed with the mystery. He's probably looking at the other side. He's looking at how it's put together. He knows there's an explosive. it, and that's really interesting.

That's not a thing. He's a ton of experience with. So Mari runs, Red Dives, and Jack is too invested to run. Jack, Doren's going for it. What? I love this. I'm going to roll dexterity.

I mean, there's not even time to do that. Like, literally, by the time Marry's turned around, the buttons would be pressed. Yeah, she's running out the door. Yeah, so Red dives across, and he stops Doren. I want a contested dexterity check from both of the beans. Every bean we have. Oh, that was cracked.

If we died Maybe we could just reload at this spot That's right You guys can save scum this Okay delete My new character is Kieran Yeah Kieran Alright what did you get Doran

14 14 Yeah Against Harlins 26 Red dives across and slaps your hands back Doren no Oh okay

You mom There's explosives in here What the hell are you doing? Oh well I don't know I guess that would have been a... Yeah, now that I think about it, maybe there wasn't such a...

Well, I thought maybe if we pressed them, it would... Doran, Doran, listen. Stevie detected explosives in that. Well, I know I've dealt with explosives before, but I mean, you know... We don't even know. If you press a button without any sort of... Okay, okay. You and I might have been fine, but Jack would have been killed.

All right. I didn't... I didn't do it, did I? No. I love to think that Doran... I love to think that Doran's one of those people who's just like, it was a button. Like I pressed it. I had to press it. He's terrible in elevators. Let's look at this third one and then we can come back, press all the buttons,

do all the exciting stuff after we've decided there's... Don't keep your hands behind you back. Can I come back in now? At your own risk. I'm the type of individual when it comes to riddles like this. I would want to walk back through, and this is sort of meta, I would want to walk back through the whole area we just came in, possibly go down that elevator and see if there's anything on any of the walls or

anything that speaks to these three mirrored buttons. Alex, you have come so far as a role player. And I want to reward that. Because two years ago, you would have gone, oh my God, let's go. I don't care. No, no, no, that's what I'm saying. That's what I want to do.

Oh, I see. But I don't think we should do that. Let's just look at this last one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So this final marble sarcophagus is surrounded by piles of coins. If I'm doing the math and adding up what I think the value of a pile that big is and the volume per whatever, I think the density of each thing. How many, how much coin is sitting there? Jack does. Jack knows math.

Not only that. He's basically rain man. I mean, listen, I'm a noble from Waterdeep. I've seen money. And he's an archaeologist, so you can identify. You'd probably have a good idea. He's a huge fucking nerd. I do want to know who minted the coins and like how old the Zozenfafel. Yeah, you think that there's, I mean, between all. all four currencies, probably about

3,000 gold worth of coins here. Wow. Pretty substantial. Yeah, you guys, if these are real, if you can take them. What is it, Electra? What are they called? Electrum is 0.5 of a gold piece. Sorry, yeah, no, I just, I couldn't remember the name.

Oh, there's Electrum in here, too. Do they have like a fun, gnomish face stamped on them? Are they, I guess they must be old point. Yeah. It's all like old currency. Yeah. Look at the, I mean, that's what this is. I can get around.

There's probably 3,000 gold worth a coin sitting here, but these are in such good condition and are so rare. I bet you could sell that copper piece for a gold if you found the right buyer, just given how, you know, unique it is. Now you're pushing it, buddy. I mean, you've got to find the right buyer, but. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and he'll buy maybe one.

Look, the important thing is, certainly, notice anything on about this in the room? Everything else is in boxes, everything else is trapped. And then here we are, what, $3,000 worth of money just lying out? Doesn't that seem a little suspicious? Well, how's the word go? Suspect? Yes, it does.

I mean, but it could be symbolic, too, right? That's what I was going to say, Jack. It could be, you know, this could be a high-ranking gnome, someone who is associated with money, maybe a follower of Joaquin, or the gnomish god of trade, who I'm blanking on at the moment that I'm sure must exist. You know, there could be something symbolic to resting. They put two bombs in a room and with a guy who is of honor, and they just put money on his grave.

You're an archaeologist. Weirder practices exist in the world. Do you know any gnomes? I mean, look at this place. Look at this place. Look at the machinery. You guys have met a single gnome in this whole campaign. That's not true.

We've got bottle rocket in our... Name is Elmort Bottler River. He lived in a tiny house by a river and just wanted to be your friend. And we gave him cloaks. But I mean, look at this place. Look at this place. They obviously... This is obviously some special room,

and Doren kind of goes, stands in the middle and takes a look around at the four sarcophaguses. They're all different materials, different shapes, different styles. Two of them have got explosives, and that one's got a skull on it, and that one's got money. I would suggest, I would think that Jack's probably right, likely very symbolic. You don't think this is a trap.

I mean, it could be. Let's take a closer look. I mean, Doren, you've got a pretty good understanding, of metals and stones. Maybe you can help me poke around this one and just see if there's anything weird about the way it connects or the way it's sitting on these.

Do you want to help me investigate? Yeah, why don't you help Jack investigate and you can use your stone cunning as your modifier? So what we're going to do... I didn't even have to write the rest of the dungeon. I just needed to write this one fucking puzzle room. So if I make a history, so it's a history,

can we just... I ruled as if I was getting advantage to investigate. Perfect. Great. We'll do that. Okay, perfect. So Doran helping you gave you advantage. Doran, that's a good point, I say, looking at the marble, and I get a 24 to investigate.

Beautiful. Jack, from what you can tell, this seems to be, like its companion to the south, a mundane marble sarcophagus. Even the coins seem to be just coins. In fact, while you're investigating this coffin, you accidentally kick one of the coins, and it moves freely. and no effect happens. Oh. Yeah, I'm going to take a step back and try not to kick too many more

until we're ready to scoop them all up into Red's bag of holding, but... I don't like the look of it. I don't trust it. I don't think it's a good idea. The whole thing's weird. We've got to put ourselves in the mind of a gnome and that means we need to, you know, understand a little more about it, but I think...

Maybe they're trapped in there so that they couldn't escape. There is a god of death. Well, look, that's not to say I don't want to crack this one open, and that's not to say that we don't want want to take the gold if we can, but I think we're not going to walk out of here with this gold. All right. Well, I'm going to try this. Door walks around the sarcophagus and he picks up one coin from each of the four piles.

Then he presses all the buttons. Sorry. Yeah. And then I'm like, fucking red. Click all three. So I leave the room with one coin of each. Great. Yeah, you pick up one coin from each pile hesitantly.

Yeah. And then you move toward the door. and exit with no problem. All right. So we know there's not some sort of magical sense if the goal leaves the room. Then you die. So I'm just going to put these here

and I need... The Doran has an unrelated heart attack. Put the four coins next to the... We all think it is. No, Doran! His aneurysm finally catches up to him. That's all that drinking. That's right.

All right. Maybe I was wrong. I still don't want to touch it. No. I mean, I'll put it in the bag of holding, but I don't want to mess with it. I've seen Pirates of the Caribbean. What happens next? All right, so here's the next plan. I'll cast my mantle.

I'll push in on the lid because logically the handles looked like you would pull them, right? So I want to do the thing that looks illogical. Then I'll run over to the fire coffin, if that works, and I'll see what happens. When I press those buttons, I'll try pressing all six, maybe. Is that what we're going with? I don't know. Maybe tell us what you see inside the other one if you're able to get it open

and then we'll figure it up if we keep out. Yeah, let's do one at a time. And then from there, I'll push off the other ones and I'll end with the gold one because I'm most scared of that one, frankly. We've got the bomb in the fire and I'm most scared of the one with the gold. Capitalism is the real evil here.

Yes. It's the trap I can't see. That's what scares me. Does my mantle cover the rat? No. Damn. Here, Dorn, I put the rat on Dorn's head. Watch the rat.

Oh, hi. Watch Stevie. I call the rat over Doran hands the route over to Mari I'm not afraid of it He kind of holds it like I just hate it, that's all A dog

I know I know you're not afraid of it Keep him on your head He likes it on your head Marie I had a horse name shit fart once Do you want to be on my head or in the coat See Head? All right

So I put him up I put him up on my head And he hangs out there Nestled in my hair All right everybody out Get out! And I'm going to cast my mantle, and I'm going to push the coffin. Red, you push in the handles on this silver coffin, and you hear a click.

Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters. Alexander, Amanda Kitchener, Anne, Artistic Witch, Braden, Brian Blass, Brianna Weber, Michael Weber, Brin Marie, Cecil Lee Wilson, Colin Burkhart, Cherry Rose, creature, cytosine, Daniel, Haley, Harpo the Marks, J, J, J.D, Joy, K.R. K. K. M., K. Lausanne, Last Ruth on the left, Leed, Marie Canisky, Matilda Rushing, Melissa, Mellon, Michelle Kahn, Moss, Nimble Dingo, Reagan, Ren, Roberta, Sray 96, Tama, Tara, Trapper 939, Xander, and Zach. Oh, thank you so much. soft yeah it's right it's not like it's a new adventure you know