Dice Shame - 2-32 | 'Shock and Awe'

Episode Date: April 6, 2023

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: swearing, violence, animal death.Part of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Die, die! If that would make you more comfortable. So small in it. I want to take the dried herbs. Hey, there's another exes down here. I'll try anything right now. And we all remembered that. Give them back.

Well, if this ain't a workshop, I don't know what it is. I think, do we need a base? I don't know. I think this thing is century mode. Yay, we did it. It's very, very frightening. Do you understand us? One of these days animal friendship will work.

There's just like this deep, quiet sigh that nobody really listens to necessarily. Aw. Doreen, are you sighing? No. Why are you sighing so loud? You're hurting my ears. MVP. MVP this week is tip-top bombardier for their extremely kind comments.

They said dice shame has changed the way I see podcasts and D&D. Thanks so much, Tip Top Bombardier. Sorry, we swear so much. Devizer is an upcoming sci-fi horror audio drama created by our own Harlan Guthrie. In this series, Sun wakes up aboard a spaceship bound for Earth in an effort to colonize. What he discovers, however, will change everything he knows

about his world and himself. All episodes of Devizer release May 1st, that's this May 1st, listen after the credits for the trailer and make sure to find it wherever podcasts are found. All right, you ready to do this? Yeah, let's play some D&D. Woo!

Here's my question. To start us off today, we live in a fantasy world. No. I mean, not in the game. Who are you talking? Weekly. Weekly. You do.

Whatever you need to do to get through the day, Harlan. Exactly. I have 12 hit points. But if you could live in any fiction. It's a fiction world with all of its, you know, pros and cons. And I already see every single one of you looked up and to the left, like, just like the daydreamy look, which makes me very happy. Because that's always my goal for a question. But if you could, if you could live in any fiction world, you know.

You got to start, though, Harlan. I mean, I, and I will preface this. It doesn't have to be the one, you know what I mean? But, like, obviously Skyrim would be brilliant, you know what I mean? Does it make a difference if it's your visiting? for your two-week vacation and you're going to this world or you have to live there.

You can specify. You can specify, whatever. What I really want to know is where your mind goes to when you think adventure or comfort or fun or safety or whatever tweaks you when you think of a fiction world, whether it be a book or a movie or a game.

What's the thing that makes you excited? Why does Skyrim curl your toes like that? Well, I think because when I played Skyrim, it was such a moment of like, walking out of that first cave after Helgian or whatever where you're like, whoa, it was fantasy turned up to 11. Obviously, Morwin came first, but I never played any of those, you know, or even the dagger fur or whatever. I've only gotten to RPGs late. And there was something so awesome about feeling like you're walking into something so rich of a fantasy setting. You

know what I mean? Walking through those fields, holding a sword and shield was just like the the perfect, but also all the little touches of like the different towns that feel different. You got like one that's all winter, one's like a college of magic, one that's sort of like a thieves guild town and then castles kind of all sprinkled throughout. It just felt really exciting to just walk across the map. And that's like one of the only games I've ever just turned off fast travel on because I was like, I've played runs of that game where I'm just like, I'm only going to travel by horse. And it's been so enjoyable.

I'm the traveler. Yeah, but it's been super enjoyable to do that. And obviously, whether it comes to video games or books or TV shows, there's such a huge shotgun blast throughout all of us that I'm curious what your instinctive first answer is. I mean, if I'm thinking about, if I'm not thinking about like the consequences in trying to pick like a safe answer that's going to leave to a long and happy life, I think...

No, you don't have to be smart about it. You can just be fanciful. Don't jack this. Any of the any of the sort of urban fantasy where you're like peeling back the veil to see the real magical world underneath reality around you,

that kind of thing. Like Dresden Files type stuff. Yeah, any of that Dresden Files, urban fantasy kind of stuff where you're paranormal, whatever, where you're kind of being like, oh yeah, the world exactly as you know it, except there's magics and ghosts and goblins

and all of this other like the layer behind the layer and the, you know, it's, there's something about that and this thing is really interesting to be able to, like, see the world in that way. But within that world, if you could choose, would you want to be, like, a detective, or would you want to be, like, a cop?

Or would you want to be someone of the underground? Or, like, what's your... Not a cop, that's for sure. I mean, in the fantasy world, they're not terrible in that version. Let's just pretend. I mean, I think you've, in the fantasy version of this, you're obviously got to be somebody

who's helping all the downtrodden people and using whatever incredible powers you come across to lift people up and do cool shit. Yeah. You know, slay the dragons at the top of the evil corporations kind of shit that's cool that's sick but shadow runny almost yeah just thinking then you said that shadow run i want to hop a little bit um sideways from those two ideas and go into

the hitchhackers guide to the galaxy oh totally where you can command your own spaceship that can literally do anything you have a book at hand that can tell you anything about the world i love words I mean, the idea that, like, you can meet aliens of all kinds, like, sentient shades of light, just to, like, the idea that you can go and have dinner in, like, a far-off galaxy, just should the whim take you. And it's funny, too, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. The nice thing about hitchuck as guy is it's not like a morose, like, it feels like if you were to step in that world, even in the darkest times, there's light, which is kind of a nice world to step in when you think about it. It doesn't take itself very seriously.

And there's love there, you know? It just, it feels like a really comfortable place to live in a really exciting place to live. In Vogue on poetry. God. Didn't you see the notice about us putting the off ramp here? Mm-hmm. It's not for a while.

My first, my very first thought was like, was like, Lord of the Rings or something like that. And I was like trying to debate in my head, like, which age would I pick? because I'm like, I don't want to be an elf. It just, you're just alive for way too long. You'll find anything you complain about. Yeah, yeah.

But then you get all, you like to live and you get to go to Valinor and everything. And I was sort of going through it and I was like, ah. And there's lots of like books and stuff where I love the magic of it. And I love the, I love the, I love the apportion series. I loved that when I was younger. And I loved the use of the magic in there where they use bells. I was just talking about that book of Sabriel, right? Yeah, yeah, and I was just talking about that book to Harley.

And I love those books, but I don't want to live in that world because then you're constantly being savage by zombies, and it sucks. And you have to keep going into the realm of death to sack, to kill zombies. And so I'm going to go with. You're just selling it to me. It's kind of awesome, though. It is kind of awesome, but it only really works if you are the abhorzan or like a clear or whatever. The rest of the time, you're just getting eaten by zombies. It just sucks.

Or you're English. And that's also terrible. Same different. But also, so I'm going to go with, I'm going to go with Discworld. Yeah. I love Discworld. It, you know, I feel like there's a wide selection. I feel like I'd be happy either being one of the witches or being like a moist bond

lip fig character where I'm just constantly, a little bit out of my depth, but having fun with it. And, you know, tap dancing on the avalanche, if you will. But I, I love those books. And I think that would be like sort of like, fun space to be in you get to be you could be an assassin you could be a seamstress who's not actually a seamstress you could be all kinds of things. Oh spoilers if you had to be a cop in any universe being one of the cards in Angmorkport is not a bad place to to find yourself. Yes it's like

the only good cop is like vimes. Yeah I get all of these references and names and words. Oh these books. They're super great. I you could see me googling those books. They're very fun. I think Guthrie. Go ahead. What do you think? No. We're waiting on you. Oh. Oh, right. Yeah, he already said here. So, well, okay,

so you're, that was some pretty deep ones. I mean, you went with something stupid. Say it's going to be stupid. Super Mario World. Well, Joe had gone with Hitchhikers Got to the Galaxy and then I was like, oh, maybe I should change mine. But I was thinking Star Wars. And admittedly,

Sort of like the similar but different in the sense that like there's a lot of strife still I feel like in Star Wars. There's like all this like, you know, upper class. The war is in all. And if you're a Skywalker, you get like at least six movies. But imagine just being like an everyday kind of Joe, but you know, maybe you apply yourself and you make some money and you can like, you know, build a ship. Farms and dirt. You have people to adventure. Like you really, you know.

But you brought up. of an interesting point in this now, which is kind of funny, because if you're just a nobody in Star Wars, how is that really any different than the nobody now? This is basically just the plot of Andor. Yeah. That is literally just the plot of Andor. Minus all of the adventure, though, because you're just like, I guess my point is the adventure can go so much further. I mean, what do you hear on earth? Okay, okay, you can you can really apply yourself and buy, you know, make millions of dollars and you buy a nice car. You can't like leave the planet. There's something to being the Hans solo.

Well, but I, and I agree with what you're saying, and there's something to be in Han Solo, but it's funny that Alex's example was like, you could just be a farmer. It's like, well, you could be a fucking farmer here, dude. I said, be a farmer. She, yeah, I didn't see it. Well, the way you made it sound, he was going to be a freighter. That's what I mean.

You're like, you're not like, oh, I'm going to be a rogue freighter captain. You were kind of, you were going to be like, you can be like, you just live in a planet your entire life. Well, no. Like, you could do one biome. You could be an everyday Joe. Like you are here. You can work.

You can live in the fantasy world where you work very hard and then you get good things from it and you get shot by a stormtrooper. A job on a freight ship and you're like going to different planets and you're seeing like space. See to me when you said star

I thought you're going to go Trek and I know you're not a huge fan but to me between the two I would so much rather be in Star Trek because that if I was going with one of the like sci-fi angles because look above all the cool idea of getting to be aboard a ship

that's seeing all these planets and like your jaw is to visit new races. I got to say, I love the utopian nature of Star Trek. Yeah, but in Star Wars, you can tell a princess to shut up. Yeah, and you get a cool, sick laser sword. So if you find Kyler Crystal. Here's what I was thinking, other than the main characters,

what do the people do? Like, what do a normal person do? What do a normal person do? What do normal? What does like a normal civilian do on the enterprise? A normal civilian in Star Trek can do everything a normal civilian in Star Wars could do because it's still a space show. Except no, it's not. It's different because you're on, it's like an exploration sent from an earth-based colony, right?

To all the other planets in the universe. But that's different than like living on a different planet under a different, you know, like. No, well, this is, it's just perspective. Because if you're, yeah, if you're a member of the Federation, like I'd love to be, then yes, you'd be jumping planets. But if you're saying, I want to live in the Star Trek universe as a Schmo, you could be on, there's like, there's galaxies in Star Trek that are under attack the way galaxies and Star Wars are under attack. Like the Romulans, or not the Romulans, the Borg, literally just go to planets and there's like resistances fighting them. There's like whole Star Wars plot lines in just areas of Star Trek that they skip in and they're like, what's going on here? We're overthrowing the government.

I was a farm boy that grew up in this planet. And they're like, cool. Yeah, this isn't supposed to be a debate. We're nerds. Oh, I guess my point is. Cool, cool, cool, Alex, you're wrong. Yeah. No, no, no, no, you're not wrong.

You're not wrong. All I'm saying is I was jumping on. I was saying that's exciting too. No, absolutely. And I love the utopian nature. And I never considered that angle of Star Wars or Star Trek. I love Alex that you said that when you heard mine, you were kind of like, oh, I should change mine.

because when Harlan initially asked the question, I wanted to go in a really similar vein to what Harlan said with Skyrim by talking about the Zelda series, Legend of Zelda. But it's kind of the same vibe, right? And I wanted to add a little pizzazz. So by going first, I really just set a train of events, chain of events into motion.

It's true because when Joad is hers, I thought, oh, I should have said Discworld, but I'd already said my thing. And I was like, and then Alex falling up with Discworld. I was like, no wonder we're all kind of in the same vein. Everything got covered. You could have picked the Majora's Mask World in which you're just always afraid the moon's

going to smash into you. That's why I said the franchise, because it's all good. And the thing I'm most surprised about is that nobody said the world of Dungeons and Dragons. I mean, because we don't need to pretend because we're about to step into it right now. Everyone pretends really hard. Now, did everyone do their shrooms? Yeah, let's do it. Let's do it.

Red, this passageway gets really small, really fast. It's so tiny. It's so small in there. Stevie, go. And I hold Stevie at a full length. And then Stevie goes a few feet and goes, actually, no, no, no, come back. No, no, no, no, I don't want to risk it. And he puts Stevie back on his shoulders.

He goes, Stephen, you look. And he snaps his fingers, and Stephen appears behind him. He's like, go, see what you find. Good boy. Don't restofy. Report back. Yeah, Stephen's gone for a short time. Stephen's gone for a short.

Oh, hi, Jack. Hey, what did you find? He's popped out of nowhere. I don't know. There's a secret door back here. I said Stephen in to find what's back there. Neat. Yeah.

And then he comes back. What's your find, buddy? Can you talk to Stephen? I can talk to Stephen. Can he talk back to you? He can talk back to me. That's the really key question, I think. Well, we've talked about this before.

Because I, as a ranger, have animal, there's something where I can read their basic mood and intent. Yeah. And we sort of hand-waved this idea that, like, that's kind of my way of communicating with him. Yeah. Stevens' chill. Steven's nonplussed.

Yeah, I think we also had clumps for yes and no. He's just something good back there? Clumps two times? Good job. Good job. Let's go. And then Red will crawl in. red you crawl into this tunnel is anyone else coming with red it's so secret back here

just red and everyone named steve yeah i'm sort of spotting him from the outside just to make sure he doesn't go out of sight but jack are you looking at my butt i'm right behind you it's inevitably avert your gaze if that would make you more comfortable thank you you definitely go out of sight cool what do you see in red you go up a level red a room. I see bones, but Stephen said it was safe. Red, this room smells close and musty, like sleep. It's musty in here. There are piles of straw and bones on the ground that look like they could have been used as sleeping mats, like a nest. I think people slept in here. And another narrow tunnel burrows out of the room to the west. Goblins, maybe? Maybe. I look around. Are there any

goblin arrows or things that I would recognize? Yeah, this definitely looks like it was probably the way that the goblins were talking about when they said go to the garden and down. Oh, yeah, we all remembered that. It was on the do. I got it. Groot, yeah. Yeah, and we all remembered that.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who killed Grok or whatever his name was. Yeah, I think this is where the goblins must have been. And I'll do a quick peruse around, see if there's anything valuable in here. Cool. Yeah, you take a look. You find a weird doll. made out of some husks from the garden.

Done. It's like a little toy goblin. Every treasure you could have wanted. Taken. Spooky corn husk doll. Yeah, basically. Yes. Does it look like a goblin?

Yeah. The Blair Wizard over here. I suppose that's it. And then I turn around and I head back down to Jack. What was it back there? It was a goblin nest, I think. A bunch of, like, bones and sleeping hay, and I found a little doll. I think in that letter.

In the note? Yeah, yeah. I think in that note letter, that's what they were talking about, about the garden or a passageway coming down through the town. Yeah, that must be it. Exactly.

Huh. We forgot to check when we were at the farm, like big dummies. Yeah, agriculture is so interesting, though. So the secret door goes to the farm? That's right. Oh, interesting. Yeah, it was the way

the goblins must have come here, I see, I see. I wish there was more valuable in there. Cool, nonetheless, let's keep going. And red leaves. Yeah, that's door number one. Let's, uh... Yeah, let's, uh, least rewarding secret ever. All right, what's still in this big hallway here?

Doren leaves the room and heads back into the other hallway and down to the second door, which is on the right. You come to a large room filled with shelves on all sides. Oh. Though it looks like their contents have largely big. rifled through or removed. You see there are some raw materials like metal bars, springs, cogs, wheels, bins of things. Some of these bins have been tipped over and spilled out on the floor. And there are a couple of strange effigies, crafts on the ground here and there.

I want to go look at those. I want to go look at a spooky effigy. Yeah, you walk into the room, Mari. Yeah, over to a spooky effigy. Yeah, Red will follow. That sounds fun. Red, this looks kind of similar to the weird goblin corn husk doll, but a larger version. Looks like these goblins maybe found all of these fun materials and decided to make some crafts. That's awesome. You're just having a nice time.

Yeah. Doran steps over and stands in front of one of these crafts, and there's just like this deep, quiet sigh that nobody really. listens to necessarily. Aw. Doreen, are you sighing? No. Why are you sighing so loud? You're hurting my ears. And he walks away pretty quickly. And then

he continues to investigate the room. I'm investigating the room. I would like to find another exit. Yeah, so there's another exit to the south. Hey, there's another exit down here. Yeah, cool. Jack takes a quick look at what's left on the shelves just to see if there's anything that stands out. Yeah, same. There are some dried herbs.

There is a cart that's full of what looks like unrefined copper. There's a bunch of metal plates stacked up on the floor. There's some bones and some more tiny tools, just a bunch of like gnomish junk. I want to take the dried herbs.

You do. You take the dried herbs. Sweet. Yes, they're mine now. Come to me, my pretties. Marie's reached into her bag and she has, like, pulls at a little jar of oil from, like, the herbalism kit's been rubbing that on, like, the exposed rash. Yeah.

On her arms and sort of tosses it to Jack. Oh, thank you. Yes. It's actually made with stinging nettles, which sounds like it shouldn't work, but it does. I'll try anything right now. She's a homeopath. Here, rub these crushed mosquitoes on your mosquito bite.

Okay, let's do it. It'll be fine. Hey, Veranda, this is pretty freaky stuff, eh? Look at these weird. effigies. I mean, they're kind of cool, right? Yeah. I look over and Steven's gnawing at one, like just chewing the sticks of one of its legs. Steven, stop, people think they're cool. And then, and then when everyone leaves, he turns back to Stephen and gives him the thumbs up, and Stephen continues to gnaw at them. Enjoy it, buddy.

Jordan, what did you find over there? What's that? What'd you find over there? Oh, I don't know, some sort of, uh, I don't know what is this is, some sort of exit possibly. Maybe it goes deeper. There is an entrance to a large room. ahead of you, Doren, and it looks like at one point this entrance was shored up with broken rubble, pieces

of machines, old furniture, though this barricade has been broken. Whatever they were trying to keep in here, didn't stay very long. Could all this rubbish. Is it broken outwards? Yes. I kind of push through

and climb over their rubble. Da Vinci's lost It's sharp. This is a wondrous room, Doran. As you push through the rubble, immediately upon entering, you see a delicate-looking machine in a picture of grace. Despite being half-finished, it arches its thin wooden wings like a dragon, stretching its muscles before flight.

Wow. In and among the bustle, crowded room, you see a furnace, molds, a woodworking area, and alchemical station, other half-finished, half-broken machines, something that looks like a giant wooden spider. There's a residue of toxic chemicals hanging in the air still, even though this place is a thousand years old, right? There are old vats that once contained concoctions and piles of strange powders and stones everywhere. Wow. It's a massive room.

There are three exits, two to the north, and one to the west. Well, if this ain't a workshop, I don't know what it is. Dorn kind of looks around amazed at all of the cool things that he's seen. So it's a weird question if we say, maybe this is our new base? Yeah, well, if we do that, that means Jackson. going to be saying Zoverwaffle or whatever. Zosan Boffel? Yeah, he's going to be saying that every single day.

Ah, Marry, you broke the trend. That's the problem. You're going to hear that a million times in our row. It's not worth it. I take it back. Zosy Bozzy. I mean, Zosie Boff is. I think do we need a base? I think we've got places to be and things to do and we're not really have a chance. Oh my God, Jack. It was just a fun comment.

Forget it. We don't need a base. Fine. I'm not trying to take things away from you, right. It storms off and walks down to the table to the south. There are two giant columns in the middle of the room that are supporting this arching ceiling. And some of the ceilings in this place have been, you know, a little bit tighter than you would necessarily feel comfortable in. But this room is huge, probably to accommodate the giant machines that are being built here. Tight.

What's interesting about building giant machines inside is you need a way to get them outside. Oh, yeah. You took the words out of them out. Give them back. Sorry. Continue. You jerk. No, no.

So it stands to reason that there must be, does the roof look like it might open up or that there might be an elevator that would get these things out of this room? It's hard to tell. Maybe it's a museum. But then how'd they get in? Piece by piece.

It's like building a ship in a bottle. Yeah. Dorn's going to investigate this work bench over here that looks sort of like it's got a hammer on it And it's closer to this forge. It seems to be speaking his language over there. Doran, as you move into the room to investigate this workshop area with the gnomish hammers and whatnot,

you hear a strange crackling noise coming from the northern end of the room. Listen. And Doran draws his axe and begins to. sort of move towards where the noise is coming from. Yeah. Heads up, everybody. What you hear? As you move towards the noise,

Doran, you perceive a flickering ball of light slowly moving towards you through one of these northern exits. Jack, Jack, what hell is that? Yeah. Look at this thing. I don't know. don't don't trust strange balls of light that's it's like one of the classic rules yeah as it as it moves towards it i kind of move away from that that being said jack moves up

to be next to dorin it's just slowly hovering towards you uh what the hell is that guys do you think it's a ghost it's about the size of a fantasy beach ball fantasy and um i wave is that the same size as a normal beach ball yes that's right but it's fantasy it's made of it's made of like a a tarp kind of fabric. It's got a picture of an axe on it. It's really heavy. And it's moving closer towards you. Do you understand us?

I say in common and then draconic and then elven and then giant to sort of try and get a line of communication. Now you're just showing off, Jack. Well, I tried to pick some older languages that it might speak if it does. Yeah, that's true. It does not respond to you.

Instead, it crosses the remaining five feet towards Doran. where it collides with his chest. Whoa. And Doran, you get terribly electrocuted. Whoa. Whoa. You take eight points of lightning damage and the thing disappears.

Whoa. Oh. Then you hear a metallic screech. And coming through the door after that same ball of lightning, you see a terrifying. sight. A massive creature squeezes its way through into the workshop with thunderous steps. Something that seems part machine, part creature, all metallic plates and glowing eyes. This massive dragon-like body, multiple legs and glowing gray.

eyes. Jack throws his hands up. Whoa, whoa, whoa. We mean you no harm. We're sorry we intruded. Please slow down a minute. Everybody roll for initiative. That's the thing that sent a bolt of lightning. It's very, very frightening. Galileo. Galileo. Galao. Figuero. Mari, what did you get? 13. Doren. A 19?

Jack. 14. And Red. Dirty 20. Nice. Nice. Nice. All right, Red.

Red looks this thing up and down. He's behind a table. I think he flips the table for half cover. But I want to get a good read on this thing. Can I roll perception or an investigator or whatever to get a real understanding of if this is a creature or a purely metallic thing? Yeah, this is probably a construct. Red looks around this. room at all of these other gizmos and gadgets, does it seem like it could be amongst them in

terms of its build? Same maker type thing? Yeah. Does it look like there's a possibility this thing was made the way this, others machines in here have been made? Absolutely. Yes. Very similar, but there is some aspect that is different.

Hard to put your finger on until you realize this one's trying to kill you. Otherwise, not so much. Definitely, definitely. We mean you no harm, friends. We are not pilferers or thieves of any kind, merely curious about your gnomish city. Please, we need me, you no harm. And he'll do as much as he can some sort of persuasion to, if anything is hearing him. Would you like to roll a persuasion check?

Yeah. My plus seven persuasion brings us to a 22. Nice. Forget that I am the persuasive one. No, no, no, noyes. Don't get overly excited. I'm... Super hard to read the emotions.

of what amounts to essentially an animated machine. I catch eyes with Jack and give him a knowing look, being like, I don't know, I think this thing is century mode. Yeah, I don't like it. Pull off his bow and he'll attack it. All right. I feel like that was a college try. We all with that?

Sure. Yeah, it's worth trying to see if one of these days animal friendship will work. Red will shoot it. I don't know. I had this weird vision that's a little gnome inside going. Fair enough. I didn't even consider that angle. You know? Oh, that's what I was, I was a hundred of the pictures of a stupid little gnome on a chair, like bouncing up in some atomic arm.

God, I had to rewrite my whole fucking fight now because that's awesome. How funny would that be, though, right? Just a guy be nice. Die, die. Hey. Yeah. Right? Anyway. They're away from my stuff. I'm a old ass gnome. Leave me alone. Ooh, 19. That's going to be a 24 to hit. You do hit. So red hits with a 24. And I am going to do... This thing's not humanoid, right?

No. No, it's not. You gotta ask. What if she said yes, though? 17 damage. Okay, nicely done. And then I'm going to try to banish it. Okay.

It has to make a charisma saving throw, and I'm going on the assumption that it's probably not very charismatic because of a giant automaton thing. Oh, that's a 19. Oh, yeah, it definitely saves. Ah, damn it. All right.

And Red's going to pull back to the far side of the room behind this big old metal cauldron. Okay. At the end of your turn, maybe in response to your arrow, you're not sure. The creature discharges energy from all along the length of its body

zapping at Doran and Jack. Yikes! Missing Kieran by a mere five feet. Make it exterity saving throw. both of you. My best one. I tried to banish it.

I got a six for my save. Okie-doke. I also got a six for my save. Hey, that's a lucky number six. Matching. Hey, matchy, matching. Yay, we did it. If you both.

We failed together. You know, the power of friendship and unity. So let's join hands and get shocked to shit. You each take four lightning damage. Oh. All right, Doran, it's your turn. Doren, he attacks. with his axe

chopping at the head of this beast. It is a 17 to hit. That misses. Oh, fuck. Whoa. So he's, Doran's been shocked, literally. And so he swings

and it just, you know, it doesn't, he fails to see the distance of, between him and the creature. So he swings again. And this time he he's going to hit it with a 28. Yes, you are. Okay. And that's going to

to do 16 points of damage. Well done. Yeah. Your axe catches along its flank. Perfect. And you hear the ring of metal on metal as you attack this creature's flanks. I connected with it. Quick.

Somebody else hit it. Unfortunately, it's the creature's turn. Quickly, before it attacks me. Sorry, I'm just a little shocked. The monster moves so quickly. travels right into the center of the room, and then it turns back towards Kieran, Jack, and Doren.

Watch out, buddy. Its jaws open up, and it exhales a line of lightning, and the three of you all have to make a dexterity saving for it. I don't love it. All right, Kieran, what is your save? 17 for both of us. Doren, what did you get? Oh, another six.

Oh, no. Oh, God. Oh, no. Doran's like shaking here. He's been electrocuted. Dorn's never been electrocuted before. Doren, you're about to get a lot more electrocuted. As this line of lightning sears down the length of the three of you, Kieran dissolves into burnt fur and smoke with a yelp of pain.

And then at least he turns into moats of fairy magic and disappears back to the plane from whence he came. No, that never happens. It's always blood in dirt. It's always so neat. Stop trying to make it soft. Jack, your body jumps and Dorian all of your muscles seize in pain through gridded teeth. You almost black out as you take 57 points of damage. Holy shit.

Jack, you take 28 points of damage. Ow! I'm out. I'm out. Dorn's down. And then the creature turns towards you, Red and Mari. and lets out a deafening scream. Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters,

Alexander, Amanda Kitchner, Anne, Braden, Brian Blass, Brianna Weber, Michael Weber, Brin Marie, Cecil Lee Wilson, Colin Burkhat, Cherry Rose, Cytocene, Daniel, Haley, Harpo the Marks, Jay, J, J.D, Joy, K.R., KM., Kade, Lazzania, Last Ruth on the left, Lead, Mary Knesski, Matilda Rushing, Melissa, Mellin, Nimble Dingo, Reagan, Ren, Roberta, S Ray 96, Tama, Tara, Trapper, Nine, 3-9, Zander and Zach. Oh, thank you so much. I wanted to use woe. I wanted to use woe. Whoa. So that...

Are you woe for the day? I am woe for the day. So... All right. Good to know. Good to know for the day. Yes, but I did measure in advance. So stupid on my part.

Whoa. This is Sun currently acting as skeleton crew on the Fido Long Distance Transport Vessel As far as I'm aware, all 4,000 passengers in Deep Cry are still currently in stasis with nothing of concern Dead Affirative In an unknowable future

286 286. I would have remembered that. But thank you, Dad. Humanity will face its greatest threat. I'm sick of remaining calm. Someone is on this ship. Not one that comes from the stars. Barry, why are it so cold to me? But from within. What is in there?

Devicer. A horror audio drama releases all seven episodes on May 1st. What on the ship can't you do? What can't you fix? Hell, you are the ship. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts. I need to say what is the worst piece scenario. Oh, well.

I'm not entirely sure.