Dice Shame - 2-46 | 'A Cry For Help'

Episode Date: July 13, 2023

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!https://www.extra-life.org/participant/INVICTUSContent Warning: swearing, violence.Part of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Is blood supposed to come out of there? I got this potion here, do you want it? Healing potion enum. Half a chicken, a sandwich. A pudding still needs to set! We're gonna have to see when we get there. I mean, this is just even bigger. Oh, gross, is this sap?

What part of it is immobile? Here's a good berry, let's move on. And there's no escaping it. Don't answer her. That will end Mari's arc. You know, he survived. For better or for worse. You know what, Jack?

I fucking love you, man. I love you, too, Doran. And I fucking love you, man. And you poin's to, Doren. And I fucking love you, man. fucking love you, man. And he points to Mari.

You know, I just And I fucking love you, man. And he points over the sky. Mari just awkwardly. Message has been seen. Checkmark. Sorry, Dorn. I'm leaving you on red on this one.

Welcome back to Dayshame. This is Season 2, Episode 46, A Cry for Help. MVP this week is Hallow from the Discord who's drawn some amazing fan art, even though they're only on episode 7. They are one of the first to nail the vibe of Red, so well done, Hallow. I'm excited to see more. Extra Life 20203 is right around the corner. This year, we're going to be streaming for 24 hours on October 7th to raise money for Children's Miracle Network Hospitals. It's our seventh consecutive year participating in this extremely worthwhile charity event, but it's the first

year we're doing an earlier stream date so mark your calendars and get excited. More details coming soon or check out the link in the description. All right, shall we do this? Yeah, let's play some D&D. Woo! Oh! I don't know about you but I feel like everyone had that thing when you were a teenager where you were much more worried about what other people thought of you and the like with the things you did and what you wore and all that. Then you get to a stage in your life. You turn 30 and you're like, I don't give a fuck anymore. Like, whatever, man.

And I was listening to a song today. And it's a song that if my teenage self knew I was listening to it and just like straight up unironically enjoying it, they'd be like, whatever, man, I thought you were cool. I thought you'd be way cooler. And I'd be like, shut up, 14 year old me. You don't know anything. And also, you have a terrible haircut. All right. All right.

Wow, get her. I know. She did. She had an awful haircut. You're talking about yourself, right? Yeah. Oh, okay. Yes.

I like that your premise is what does my teenage self hate me for, but you've turned it around and you're hating on your teenage self. You've got to get a few blows in before they get theirs back, right? Yeah. Yeah. There's some animosity there. It's like, hey, come on again. That sucker, I'll kill him before he kills me.

Psycho doesn't know what he's dealing with. Fraught territory is what I'm. picking up here that's i uh yeah incidentally the song is lone stars amazed um which is that one where it's like it's it's the baby i'm amazed by you like which played endlessly and i think in 1998 and it's a country song it was it is like a mainstay of like weddings slow dance at my uh grade seven and eight dancing yes and who does that song loan star um and at that time I hated that song. I thought it was the worst thing

of the fucking planet and it was the uncoolest thing ever and now the 30s me is like damn I love some unironic like pure earnest bullshit like this it's just and like

I saw I was reading a thing describing the song and they described it just like there's like the dude in the video's got like a black t-shirt tucked into black slacks it's like the uncoolest thing ever and I'm just like fuck yeah

man let's go but yeah what's the I'm always curious to see, like, what's the thing that you've, like, accepted in your later years that, like, teenage you would have been like, how dare you? How dare you? Or was I just, like, a really judgy team on myself? Oh, no. I got a screaming hot one coming in. Hell yeah. My teenage self was a rabid Christian Jesus freak. Right, right. That's true. who was pretty obsessed with Christianity. And I was, I taught Sunday school. I sang in the choir.

I was a counselor at... Christianity's cool. I was a counselor at a Christian summer camp. So I did all of that. And I thought that was always in forever. Jesus being my homeboy, deeply held in my heart. And pretty much immediately after I went away to university, My horizons were significantly broadened in a lot of ways.

As is the way. Yeah, yeah. I learned a little bit about Christianity's terrible history and the ways that is not helpful around the world. We did that? It turns out as soon as you kind of leave your hometown of 4,000 people, new ideas spring to life inside of your brain. And so I was freed from that. Yeah, but teenage me would really be disappointed in adult me. And I'm okay with that.

She was very, very sure of herself for a lot of, a lot of ways and very wrong. You're like, Jesus and I just acquaintances these days. Like sometimes we pass on the street and you like awkwardly wave and you're like, ooh. I broke up with him. Don't lie, he's not there. I don't know. He's real. What about you, Rob? I mean, it's, I don't know that there's stuff.

Teenage Me would be bored by a lot of the stuff I find really interesting now. Teenage me would not give a shit about all of the life skill stuff. You know, like, cooking is fun and interesting and you can make tasty stuff. And I like to grow plants now. And I think birds are neat. And all of this stuff is like,

Teenage Me gave no shits about. And, you know, there's still a lot of the other anxieties that are very much the same. But there's a lot of that like, just like, you know, simple things that are like, oh, I can kind of vibe with this. Now I get the, you know, I can get into this doing something with my hands that's also like small and not for anybody else or something and find it. I absolutely feel that.

I feel like teenagers are so much more obsessed with like, oh, the cool, famous things I'm going to do. Yeah. And all the very exciting places I'm going to go. And 35 year old us is like. My back hurts. I found a cool recipe. and I'm going to try it five times until I do a good version.

Or it was good, but I think I can get it better. My sourdough starter. Well, like, I think these first two things are just like things I've learned now. And if I could reach back, I'd say to my former self, right? No. That's what's fucking me up. It's what would your teenage self say about you now? And be like, you're into that?

Exactly. It's not, because that's how I was thinking. And I got answers for that. Yeah. But I'm having a tough time thinking the other way, to be honest. Like, I think passing me would be like, oh, cool, man. You got a smoking hot wife. You're doing something that you love.

Like, you're being creative. You get to play video games. You're fucking cool. I don't know. I mean, like, teenage me would also think, like, positive things. But also, it'd be, like, it's all, like, superficial stuff. It's all, like, teenage me being like, why do people like, Ever Levine? She's not punk.

Like, and all that stuff's superficial. But I was never like that. I, like, with music, even as a teen, I was very much. Like, I liked music, but I was never like, ugh. Maybe I'd be disappointed that I watch less movies now. Oh. But, like, that's a pretty minor thing. Well, okay, actually, here's something sort of ironic that, that just came up.

Because I was literally, one of my points was like, you know, an example would be like back in high school. I remember everybody loved blink one and a two. And I was like, eh, I was like way more in like heavier punk. And then last week, a friend is like, hey, I can't go to the blink one. concert, you're on a ticket. I'm like, okay. How was it? Maybe my former, my, you know, past self would be like,

the fuck are you doing going to a Blink 182 concert? You're better than example. I bet if teenage you was offered tickets to a Blink 182 concert gratis, they'd take them. You know what's funny? I don't think they would. Because shy, like there was the shy, shyness, right? The less confident.

And I've learned since I've grown up, like say yes. and jump in with two feet and see what happens, right? Not think so much about what to do. So maybe my former self would also say, man, you, you like act way quicker than I do. That's great. I like a teenager looking at you in the future and be like, wow, hasty, hasty decision.

You're way less responsible than. I think my teenage self would be, I don't know if I'd say disappointed, but like maybe bummed out that I have tattoos. I was glad you said that because I was going to say that. Say that for me? Yeah. Oh, I wouldn't have been offended if you reminded me.

I just forgot. Well, no. And I just didn't want to put you on the spot. But yeah, you're always like. No tattoos. No drugs. Tattoes are just for people that want to show off. You're pretty straight edge.

Yeah. Yeah. But I still is kind of straight. I still rarely drink and I don't do drugs. So the tattoos were kind of a. You got to give up smoking though, Harley. That 10 pack a day. but even red has a tattoo so i don't know i think i came out of head there are so yeah maybe old

me wouldn't have liked tattoos but new me's got tattoos and red's got tattoos and so does dorin and jack and that's jack marie you've a tattoo yet yeah here's where's my where's my fucking ink there's an in-universe drag king bar you're gonna love it oh hell yes let's go who The Wicked Gate is within sight when a boulder comes flying out of the sky, missing the chains above you, and crashes directly into the wall beside. Whoa. Some soldiers topple from it, and one of them is gravely injured on the ground in front of you. Blood coming from his nose and ears, he reaches out a hand towards your party.

Put him out of his misery. No, don't do that. Marie steps over and she kneels down beside him and I feel like I don't need to do medicine check because I'm pretty sure what he has is a big rocket from his blood supposed to come out of there he got smushed oh gross it's this sap yeah his broken body is on the ground in front of you yeah help me she takes the staff of healing and very gently presses it against just the edge of his forehead and casts cure wounds. I was like, that can I help or is that just, is he too gravely injured?

I'm just going to waste it. No, it's great. You expend one of your precious spell slots. Yeah. But I don't have, I don't, I don't have to. I don't have anything else to do. Give him a potion. Give him a potion instead.

Do you have a potion? Yeah, we got potions. We got poche. We got poche. Okay. Might as well. Okay, then, so back it all up. Never mind.

Yeah. Red, no, don't, don't, don't take put him out of his misery. I cut that. I'm not going to say. that. You're going to say it. No. No. Help that guy, Mari.

Please, I know you don't want to, but help him, Marley. Stop walking away. Marley, come back and be nice. Peace out, guys, bye. I'll walk out. I got this potion here. Do you want it? Yeah, I was, or save that potion.

You're right. My precious is not worth it. We look at the point. You're just a nameless endpiece. see. Oh, man. Fine. I'm going to use Shaleli and crush the rest of his skull.

Good. No, Marry, don't be such a bad guy. Who would even joke about anything like that? Here's a good, Barry. Let's move up. So, yeah, so Marie, as she's going over, she grabs the bag of holding

because she's seen red throw stuff into it. Ah, what do you know? Ah. Yeah. And she's rooting around inside of it, and she's just like throws just a flying by. There's half a chicken, a sandwich, like a live chicken.

A pudding still needs to. the set. It's all sailing by. And she grabs, she finds a healing potion tucked in there somewhere. It says like written in crayon healing potion.

For red only, it's scrawled on the side. Red's potion. Yeah. Favorite healing potion. Felt for it. That's all those poison berries that I didn't

switch together. Fermenting in there. She's like, I knew I saw you through something in here and she goes over and help me

gently pours I guess it down is like I guess on to it Betwixt his lips Yes Which sounds very

What is up his nose What are you going to say What are you doing it so suddenly I'm not going to choke him out It checks his straight into the veins Yeah I'm going to I'm going to straight up waterboard this guy with potions Mari walks up and gives him a

Healing potion enema Yeah I don't like that. This is insert. I don't like that. Why are you dipping your finger in it and rubbing it on his lips? What are you doing? Pour it to.

Yikes. I use the healing potion on him. He perks up. He stops crying blood. His bones knit back together. Thank you. Thank you so much. And he crawls away.

He crawls away. No, now you're... Hey, that heel. you, now you're just showing off. Now you're just faking it. What is this a soccer game? It's like when someone gets hurt in soccer. He's like, oh, dang.

I feel like for each one of these things, it's been like, you know, the people that are not involved standing off to the back, to the sidelines, like watching you go down. They're like, wow, she's really good with that potion. How do this. All right. Come on. Let's go.

Let's go. I'll take my bag back now. Thank you. Yeah, here you go. The south side of town is a little quieter. It seems like the majority of the stone giant efforts are focused elsewhere right now. You make your way to the wicket gate, a pedestrian entryway

beside a larger set of doors which are currently barred. Soldiers on the wall take aim at a distant target with their longbows and let loose a volley, then motion you to go on through. Quickly now, let's go. All right. This is our moment. Quietly. Let's try to stay below the long grass. Outside of Slatefell's secure walls, A sense of exposure seeps in.

Your dark vision extends only some 60 feet, beyond which you can hear the crashing sounds of boulders and the rumble of giant footsteps. You'll have to be careful to avoid running headlong into a threat. How do you proceed? Jack, can we cast Lehman's tiny hut and then, like, lift it and carry it? As if it were a barrel. I've done that before.

Whoa. I wish we could, but it's sadly stationary. Damn it. Could you cast it on a cart and then roll? That's a question for the GM, really, can I? Could we cast it on the ground, but then use move earth to move the earth that the Lehman's tiny hut is on, because you can move earth. See, the part that trips us up, I think, is a 10-foot radius immobile dome of force. I think that word does a lot of heavy lifting there.

Yeah, it does. Wait a minute. Hold on. Hold on. Does that mean if you cast Lehman's tiny hut as the earth's, rotates, it moves in the night. Wait, you stay. As the Earth travels through space, does it stay? Immobile relative to what, physics nerds? Like, we camp on a cliff

and it like pushes us off the edge of the cliff as the Earth slowly moves. It says you're in the small print, immobile to the sun. Oh, Jesus. Oh, man. Literally, we're going to be in the middle of space. You guys are out in the 80 blackness of space.

Fucking magic. It never works right. Anyway, we'll never know. How do we want to do this? Let's just make our way out of here. I say we just go and be on our lookout and stay quiet. Because it sounds to me like we're running away from the battle and they're not having towards us. And unless we're seen. I guess there's two ways of seeing this.

Is it more important to sneak away from where the stone giants are now so that none of them see us and go, wait a minute, and turn around? or is it more important to sneak in once we get there? So maybe the other way to look at is this. We're using our dark vision, for those of us who have it. Stone Giants' dark vision, even if it's twice as good as ours, is still within the hundreds of feet. We've got some space to maneuver. We're all running in the dark.

I know which direction we're going in. I know what the map tells me we need to go. I think I can get us there by Don if we just sort of follow that lead. Uh-huh. So give a wide berth is what you're saying. Yeah, I think. Yeah, that's smart. Keep your ears and nose peeled for stuff getting close to us that's just outside our vision.

But otherwise, you know, Mari and I got a pretty good description of where we need to go, and we need to sort of trust that and follow it till we can see Don. Right. And actually, and Red will drop down to the ground. Spend the minute and make sure there's like, okay, Jack, there's lots of giants everywhere. But if we head that direction before heading the direction you need to, there's no giants moving. Perfect. You take point and I'll keep check on you when I think we need to turn in the right direction.

And I'll follow up the rear, and I'm going to keep an ear close to the ground as well. And there was something else I was going to say. You love us? Well, of course. Was it about LeVon? No. I hope he's okay. No, it was less important.

I only said I was going to say it because I forgot what I was going to say. It'll come back to me. Okay. And Red skulks off into the darkness taking point. Like Robin Hood. My favorite. The sounds of battle diminish as the... The gray light of dawn gradually begins to silo at the valley, and you travel east,

traversing the foothills of the gray peaks and crossing shallow rivers, following the directions from the soldier in the bakery. How do we want to approach this? We know we need to go in and we know we need to take them down. The only things we know is we need to find the Thane, and they've got a conch, and we need to get that shell. and outside of that we're flying in the dark other than as soon as dawn breaks

we should be looking out for stuff flying overhead because that was a big warning we got from the people of slate fell giant birds What do you mean? We were warned that there are these large birds that sail over the land outside here and that they come down and they attack people What do you mean?

Giant birds that grab and attack people? Oh my God. If need be, I can go back to bird form and take a little look around. round. By the hammer of Morden. Gee, whiz. I feel like bird farm would be probably more dangerous with giant birds in the sky looking for food. But I appreciate the thought. Why didn't you guys tell us this earlier? I don't know. What else happened yesterday? What else could have happened yesterday that came up? I'm teasing. It's a joke. You all had your reasons to not tell

Dorn and I. Maybe that's the other reason why they had the big chains over top of the city. What are they called? Chains? Rocks. What are the birds called? You're not going to believe this story. The birds are called rocks, but they fly. And like, I get, that might be a leap for you. Rocks! Can I roll stone cunning?

You're kidding me. No, they're... Rocks, yeah. They're called rocks. I think it's a mistranslation of a rook. Rocks? All right, so now it makes more sense. Okay, so now we need to watch the stone giants

and for these flying things called rocks? Do they work for the giants, or they just happen to be, you know, eating things our size I don't know these giants are certainly more sophisticated than the hill giants we fought at Gredhog

they're sophisticated but also racist is all hell oh I'm not yeah I'm just saying maybe more cunning more shrewd a little bit less simplistic I'm a little more worried about their ability to do things like forge alliances with giant hungry birds compared to not

was what I wonder if their racism is is just bound to other giants and humanoids or also extends to things in the sky too. Who knows? Maybe they're chucking boulders at these guys as they fly by as well. The other thing we got warned about is barbarians. Oh. Yes, those are also out here, but I think,

somehow that's less surprising. I don't know. I'm going to guess Uthgard of some variety just given the... The fact that you know that name? This could be it. It may be a thing I've studied a lot and that's my own bias.

I don't know that. We're going to have to see when we get there. I thank you for Doran you grew up in these hills You must have run into barbarians all the time Well yeah but I mean And these rocks actually Are these common for this area? No well not from where I am

I'm very far south of here And I like I said I've never been up to Deadstone cleft I think it might be something to do with Didn't you come to Deadstone cleft with your brothers No Yeah that was a different different area But thanks for bringing that up Jack

No problem All right so giant birds and then what So are we just going to walk straight into the stone, the stone giant thing? Well, that's the question. I mean, look, these stone giants can meld with stone, meaning they don't technically need doors, right? So it's possible, as weird as it sounds, that they don't even have an entrance. Well, they do have some doors described by the scout who saw it, big giant-sized doors to get in the mountain. There is some more information that we didn't have.

He's so sassy. Okay, so they have doors. Well, that's good to know. Is there anything else you guys want to tell us? Before we continue this conversation? I'm with Stone Giant, actually. I've been traveling that on for a long time. Yeah, we had this conversation last night.

I didn't mean to keep a secret from you. I don't want to say anything, but the xenophobia kind of has come through in many ways. Hey, now, hold on. Elfs being better and all, you know. Well, just because they are. He's half elf, half stone giant. If they have doors, then we have a way in. I suppose the next biggest obstacle till we get there are the barbarians.

and the rocks. So, Jack, you're the barbarian expert. Is there anything we should do to avoid them? I don't know. I mean, it's the, we're going to have to wait until we get a glimpse of them to see what we can deduce. I think there's, there's a variety of cultures

and ways of being and going about life. We might be able to make a deal. They might be entirely antagonistic. But hold on a second. They could be werewolves. Who knows what we're going to come across. No, wait a minute. I have to ask you something here.

If the stone giants are attacking everybody, Why wouldn't they be attacking the barbarians as well? I mean, would it make sense for barbarians to even live this close to the stone giant thing? Jack starts going through his acronym to go through the different tribes and lands on one or two and says, yeah, true. Like a bed mass thing? He does have a bed mass thing. B, B, B, B, G, G, G, G, R, T.

Of course. And he's counting through him and is like, okay, well, some of them might be nihilistic enough to get along with the stone giants. I think there's a few tribes that could probably get in there. I mean, we've already seen the Sky Pony and the Great Worm and the gray wolf just on the outside of things. That's right. Jack, if you would like to make a history check, I can give you a little bit more information. I'd love to. 27, as Jack goes through his acronym on all the different Uthgard tribes, he knows.

As you go through your acronym about what you know of Uthgard Barbarians, a salient detail sticks out in your mind. and that is the belief that civilization is a blight on the land. This seems to really be in line with the xenophobic nature of the stone giants. And it clicks in your mind that geographically and ideologically, the blue bear tribe of Uthgart barbarians would be a great match for this clan of stone giants. Yeah, it's the third B, the blue bear tribe. particularly... Is that the second and third B or just the third? No, no, it's just the third B.

The second B is the Black Raven and the first B is the Black Lion, followed by Elk, Grey Wolf. What are you talking about bees for? Jack's just talking to himself about bees a lot. I heard blueberries? No, sorry, the Blue Bear Tribe. I think it's the Blue Bear Tribe.

Based on what they said, bears, blue ones, big cave bears, not to be fucked with. Finally, animal friendship's gonna come in handy. Mari, whatever the biggest bear you can think of, bigger than that and that's the like totem of these people i don't know i can think of some pretty big bears i don't want to get into a test your imagination contest against the blue bear tribe when it gets there it's all i'm saying back in masdica we had green bears whoa gotta say jack it sounds absurd but

i do believe you 100% okay so is there anything we need to do to avoid the blue bear tribe or the rocks. My fear is they could be in cahoots. If they both have that same kind of anti-civilization burn it all down kind of vibe, I could see their worldviews lining up enough that between the savageness of the frontier, the savageness of the stone giants and the cunning of these blue bears to wreck anything that tries to build, we might be in real trouble here. So if you're saying they're in cahoots, why don't we just avoid going to cahoots? No, no, Doreen. It means they worked together. But isn't it possible then that, especially if the stone giants place has a door,

maybe they're even sleeping together. Not in that way. Maybe in that way. But like breeding. In the same vicinity. Little cahoots, bears. Giant stone bears. I mean, there's two things.

There's two pieces here that are interesting because it could indicate a vulnerability to the strength of the stone giants if we're able to put a fracture between whatever alliance they may or may not have if we discover they have one. maybe we can get them fighting each other somehow. Hey, I like that, the diplomatic angle. We just got to learn a little more about them. I guess we'll know when we see the first giant stone blue bear. Just how right you are.

As long as we don't run into any rocks first. Regardless, I'm going to keep my eyes on the skies. I'll be the watcher in the skies with these rocks, both the ones being thrown and the ones that are giant and flying and will pick us up. Then I'll keep my eyes on the ground and on the land for any signs or barbarians. Right. What are you two doing?

We'll keep our eyes on the prize is what we're going to do. Right, Mari? Maybe the prize is in cahoots. Deadstone clefts, colon, cahoots. You find the wide river and follow it upstream, north and east. The clear, shallow water has smoothed

the rocks to flat round river pebbles and the sound of it rushing along with gravity is peaceful. as you move into the land carved by the river the shoulders of a canyon system grow up around you fog curls and wisps along the ground thickening the farther you travel into the canyon though the sun is surely above the horizon the walls of the canyon perpetuate the eerie dawn grayness and as the walls of the canyon gradually narrow the foggy shroud changes to me moving clouds of billowing mist and a cold wind passes through the rocks creating a low whistling moan can i use shape water to sort of like cut down on the opacity of water can i use that to cut down on the mist around us possibly is that a described yeah you can you can change to the water's color or opacity this change lasts for one hour within a five foot cube but i can sort of i guess a

moving i can kind of just keep building it when we need when we need to see yeah i mean it's going to be like directly ahead of you yeah for sure yeah marie you can use your can't so yeah to it's like you have little headlights basically yeah so that if they're if they're doing that then she's sort of trying to keep the space around them so that if there's any sort of like physical obstacles coming up that at least people can see and it's not like here's the edge of another smaller cliff Around you in the walls of the canyon, you begin to pick out strange shapes protruding from the rock. Statues that resemble stone giant bodies, torsosos far above you, and limbs and heads emerging from the stone as if it were once as penetrable as water. The towering faces that you distinguish wear peaceful, watchful expressions.

So Mari picks up a tiny pebble and she's like, I can only do this once. but she takes a small piece of rock and it turns to mud in her hands and sifts to the ground. You can only do it once? You just did it right now? Oh, Marri, why'd you do it now? That hell's wrong with you?

I was just going to say. I'm just doing this for demonstration, a tiny pebble. Guys, watch this. She's like, but if we need it, if we need to take out some sort of stone or if there's something we need to destroy or if there's a pile of rocks or if we need to open a door,

I can do it. But I can only do it once. So you could turn stone to mud? Yeah. Cool. Now, can you turn a whole giant to mud? Bad. Well, that would just be a mud giant.

That's not bad. They actually have a higher CR than stone giant. But I mean, then we'd at least be able to, like, you know, wash it away. So you can turn stone to mud. And Jack, you can move earth. So maybe it's possible between the two of you, we could, you know, cut a hole in the wall somewhere. Yeah, if we really needed to. Or chop up a giant into little time.

tiny pieces. Also, you guys have fucking dynamite. Oh, yeah. We do have some unstable dynamite. It's true. That's right. That's right. So red sort of crouches on the edge of this giant valley type thing. And he sort of just scans the horizon. Can I do a perception check? That's going to be a... What are your cat fox eyes perceive? Thank you for being specific. 18. Yeah, Redd, these giants that are protruding from the rock here, they look very realistic.

Probably not sculptures. Oh, those stone giants up ahead that are made of stone probably aren't made of stone. I don't think the statues, I think they might be real, real giants. Whoa. Oh, oh shit. Let's just take a second here and watch. see if there's any movements are coming and going

and red sort of finds a comfortable tree and sort of pads around a little bit and leans against it and sort of gestures for everybody to come over almost to make

like a temporary camp and Doren kind of on his hands and knees crawls past you and there's this perfect little like hilltop right there at the edge of the trees where you look down

and red inches a little past you and just gets a little closer and he's like yeah yeah this This is the perfect storm. And then Doran climbs just a little bit closer. Like just an inch in front of red. It's, I'm, this is me.

I know, I know. While they're taking a moment, I might take the 10 minutes to create a little white tiny hut to let us blend in and be safe from attacks from above while we scope out the place. Okay, okay. And just kind of sit under the tree. Fine, Doran, you watch and Red heads back to Mari. And he's like, how you doing, Mari? You seem quiet. I mean, this is, this is a lot bigger than anything I've ever seen.

before and there's those are just it's huge it's huge everything is big but i don't know i guess all we can do is keep moving forward and keep fighting and trying to get crushed by a whole bunch of giant boulders and or be eaten by birds or crushed by giant huge bear man who are also blue you've been spending too much time with jack i can hear it in your voice yeah yeah listen all those terrible things that he always worries about that he drops at a hat that's just because his brain is so full of knowledge. And also bugs that one time. Yeah, that was more of his stomach,

and he deserved that a little bit. We call that levity. It's a bad day. And Doran's kind of picking something out of his teeth. And he goes, yeah, you think everything's big right now. I mean, try being a dwarf. I grew up, everything's big around me, so, I mean, this is just even bigger. Look, Marie, just, you know,

Jack is smart in the ways he worries, but at the same time, don't let that bog you down, you know. All of those things that are, are going to be coming for us. We've got to be tough. But yeah, she casts, there's a spell she can use that can check the weather for the next 24 hours just as the winter is starting to settle in.

It's an iPhone app. Yeah, yeah. She pops her phone out and she starts swishing through it. She's playing, she's playing like a solitaire on it. That's why I've been quiet. I've been texting this whole time. What the hell is angry birds? It's great.

But whatever the weather is, Joe, that's your call. God, what's the weather going to be like tomorrow? Don't answer her. That will end Marie's arc. Yeah. Oh, God. You're there. Weather's going to be clear for 24 hours.

Sweet. It creates this shimmering blue orb that she then sort of like swishes away. And she sort of pulls her shoulders back and just gives red a little smile. All right. I trust you guys. I have no idea what you just did, but cool, I guess. From, like, Red's perspective, you stood there and then did something, and then this, like, blue orb appeared, and then you smiled at him. He's like, cool.

What did you just do? I love Mari. Did you cast a spell on me? Because you told us meta, but I imagine Mari just being like, okay, and there. My comfort thing is checking. And then you're like, I trust you guys. Yeah, yeah. It's like, did you just send out a tweet?

You know what, Mari, I trust you too. Yeah. Look, we got to work together. that's how we failed at this thing before, and that's what Doran told you the other night, and I'm sure that rattled you, but I think hubris was a really important lesson there. Yeah, that's why I didn't want to go with the Deadstone cleft name.

It was feeling very hubritic. Yeah, that's why were the defeaters of the Midnight Carnival. I just, I'm a little worried, not because I don't think that any of us are able to handle this. I'm pretty damp. and for lack of a better word. Hey, you're not damp, you're moist. And that's a good thing.

You're gooey. Moist cake, moist shoes. But is that really it? You seem like, I mean, look, we're going to tackle any number of things thrown our way. But I don't know, ever since last night, we haven't had much time since the defeating of the midnight carnival. She sits up a little bit more. She'd kind of been leaning back. she's like, part of the reason why I left my hometown is because there was an accident with my two

closest friends and they were out on the water. They were out on a boat and I was on the shore. And when the weather started getting bad, normally I'd be out there with them, but this time I wasn't. And I tried to help. I tried to use magic to help them. And normally the water is my friend and the water is something that I'm able to work with and something that's good and something that I can use. But it backfired. It backfired completely. And I don't know what happened. But everything that I thought I knew how to do, it just broke in my hands and the water went out of control. And it killed them. Wow. And now I'm kind of worried that I might have to watch another friend die again and I'm a little, I'm a little nervous to put it lightly. Why did the water go out of

control? Because I tried to control it to calm the water down and I don't know what happened. It's like normally the magic is there. It's in my hands and I can feel it and I can feel it everywhere around me but it was it just spiraled out the what I tried to do was outside of my control it was too strong and too big and the spell backfired and all it did was make everything worse and it destroyed the boat and there was nothing I could do what would have happened if you did nothing I don't know well it's exactly it Mary look you're beating yourself up for for stepping stepping in and trying to control something and feeling like you fail, but you don't know that. For all you know, you gave them a slightly bigger fighting chance.

There might have been no chance had you done nothing. We don't know these things. There's no sense in beating yourself up over something that you have no way of knowing. And hell, maybe one day if you do get to find out if there are gods and you can ask them, that you can see if your intervention changed anything. but there's no sense in beating yourself up over something because your intentions were pure. You reached out to try and help, right?

Yeah, that's all I wanted to do. And sometimes that's all you can do. If you tried with your heart to help, then be damn the consequences. In the end, you know how many times we've tried to help a small town and sometimes, yes, sometimes it goes sideways. Hell, and Red points to Jack, Jack, with burning passion,

taught some hunt lords, were his intentions pure? Absolutely, but how did that turn out for us? It was not great. Doran, he was confronted by the Jalentha dwarves, and he was asked to sign something, and he tore it up, and, and... I mean, come on.

But his intentions are pure, even me, myself. I tried to protect Doran, even though I was ordered to assassinate him, and then that turned around on us as well. There you go. We've all failed, but the important, The important thing is we were trying to do what was right, and you were trying to do what was right. Yeah.

I feel pretty shitty about what's happened in the past. And there's no escaping it either. But I'll tell you what, if I was in the boat, I would have been glad that. At least you tried. Me too! Could you imagine if our friend just stood there letting the waves crash and sink us? You're trying, and as long as you try with us, as long as you attempt to help and save us, to help and save us if the same situation came up, then we know that you'd be doing the right

thing, and that's the best you can do sometimes. You know, that day in the sewers, when Jack nearly drowned, when he hauled you out of the water, I had this horrible moment that this whole thing was happening again, that I would meet out. Every time I would meet up with people now, I would just doom them to die in the water, but, you know, he survived for better or for worse. I mean, if we wanted a safe and simple life, none of us would be sitting here under this tree looking over at Deadstone cleft

and thinking that's where we're headed. Yeah. True. You know what, Jack? I fucking love you, man. I love you too, Doran. And I fucking love you, man. And you points to red.

I love you, Doran. And I fucking love you, man. And he points to Mori. You know, I just... And I fucking love you, man. And he points over the sky. Mari just awkwardly. message has been seen, checkmark.

Sorry, Duran. I'm leaving you on red on this one. She loves you too, Dora. Don't worry about it. I'll leave you on red. I like that. She placed Rob as a name. But look, Jack's right. Like, we're here because we want to be here because we have to be here. And more importantly, there are people back there at Slate Fell dying for us to be here. So, and Red stands up and dusts off his pants.

I think it's time we... Red, as you stand up, you immediately... perceive that there is someone walking towards your group. No, never mind, we're dead. They are still probably 100 feet, maybe more, away, but if you don't act fast, you are going to be seen.

Everybody into the hut! And Red just pushes everyone into the hut. Yeah, we all sort of tumble in. There's someone coming. Does this thing block sound as well? Yeah, it does. Doesn't it? I'm not asking you. It's just that things can't get in and spells can't get in. Okay, everyone shut up.

And Red puts his hand over Doran's mouth. As you watch a human barbarian draped in furs with blue paint on his face, walks towards you along the riverbank. As he gets closer, you see that hanging from his belt are two human heads and one dwarf head that's strung by his. his beard. His axe is slung across his back. He's got broad shoulders, and he walks confidently towards Deadstone Clift.

And after about a minute, he disappears upstream. Doren's face goes furiously red. I don't know, but he's not friend-shaped. I'm guessing that was one of the barbarians, and frankly, Jack, they don't look like they want diplomacy. I don't think I want to wait for. for that guy to get down the hill. Doran kind of stands up, ready to leave Liamann's tiny head. Don't know.

I see that look in your eye. We're in reconnaissance mode. Just watch. And Red sort of with a hand on Doran's chest, holding him back a little bit. Watch is what the guy does. Because we're, and this is true, like we're in recon mode now. Yes. We just need to watch, see what kind of special knock he fucking does.

Dorn, like, turns away from him and kind of paces just a few steps in the hut. Not enough to make any noise. And Red will study and watch exactly what this guy does. Yeah, you watch this man as he walks up river and he gets to a place where he might leave your line of view. It's time. Let's do this. Are we following him? Yes.

Let's do it. All right. And Red steps out and quietly begins to follow the man. We're all kind of in tow. staying a couple hundred feet behind the barbarian the four of you move through this canyon and you come to the end of the ravine you take in several openings that dot the canyon walls three distinct cave mouths one in the west side of the river into which the barbarian moves and two on the east side overlooking these a giant bird's nest sits atop a 60-foot-tall promontory, and you hear a low echoing

caw come from the top of it. A giant moss-covered log spans the river ahead of you, and the snow underfoot gives away to barren gray rock. Heroes, welcome to Deadstone Clift. Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters, Adam Fry, Amanda Kitchener, Amy Gaza, Anne, Cecil Lee Wilson, Jerry Rose Anderson, Christopher, Colin Burkhart, Crow, Cyprus Key, cytosine, DS, Danny, Default Trauma, Dippity, Elizabeth H, Emma, Ghost, Haley, Pop of the Marks, Heather Nichols, J.D., Joy Robinson, K.R., K. M., K.M., Kade, Kirsten-Wolfe, Lazzania, Last Ruth on the left, Leader Jay, Lizzie Dimon, Lorellie Feldman, Matilda Rushing, Marie, Melinda Curley, Mills, Melissa, Merlin, Nimble Dingo, Reagan, Ren, Ruth Ann Reed, Scotty, Sky, S. Ray 96, terabyte, Tony Pepperoni, Xander Morning Dove,

and Zach House. Woo! Bark, bark, bark, bark, bark. Woof, woof, woof, woof, wolf, woof, bark, bark, bark, bark. Very cool. That's the, here we are. That's it.

That's it. We did it. We did it. Great job. That was easy. There we are. You've done it. Fuck it. Let's take a rest for two weeks. We'll get back to it. The conch is right there. Oh, my God.

Look at that. Air in the water? It's underneath the body of piggy. Oh, my God. That's all I had to do. Oh, don't, don't. It's like they have no idea. How could you?

I just got him. Use my own weakness against me. It's like in the water. They don't even realize it's special. It's like, oh, it's right here under the bridge.