Dice Shame - 2-50 | 'Ready or Not'

Episode Date: August 10, 2023

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!https://www.extra-life.org/participant/INVICTUSContent Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm really gonna regret this. Thank you for specifying that. I'm gonna get ready. Ready when you are. Ooh, they are dumb as hell. It's time. Oh, nelly. Take it, Mari.

Yes, we love guests. Maybe we've been wrong all these years about other people. I really hate that rumor that's going around that were xenophones. No one ever said a dog can't be a shield. No! Why? And red aims his bow right at Keir and it goes, no! Fight the edge!

Suck on this, Stony! Welcome back to Dyshame. This is Season 2, episode 50, ready or not. MVP this week is Lita Stray, nominated by Marie, who wrote, Here's to my Dyshame Day buddy. You always bring a smile to my face, and it's as if a little ray of sunshine follows. Can't think of a shinier MVP. Congrats, Lead Astray. Well, 50 episodes into season two so far and still miles to go. Remember, if you're enjoying Dyshame, make sure to leave a positive review or share it with a friend.

Every bit of spreading the word helps, so don't hesitate to shout it from the rooftops. We hope that Dyshame has become as special to all of you as it is to us. But fret not, there's plenty more to come. We're just getting started. That's right. Let's get down to business. Let's do it. Did you guys catch my tweet?

I did. I retweeted it and made sure everyone on the Discord knew about it too. Who wants some witch beef is the line that's going to live in my mind for a long time. It's definitely the standout line amongst the fans. I mean, it's so funny because the lines that this group picks up versus the lines that I, that stick in my head are so totally different because you guys are also stuck on the worms in the belly one which didn't do anything for me

but like Jack getting up on the back and said yaha. The yaha one was great. That one was great. Is he in the chaps though? There's only one way to find out. That's my question. Which beef? I don't even get it because which doesn't sound like roast.

It's Doran though. Is it me that says it? I don't even know. I didn't know who said it either. I was like, I guess. Oh, no, it's absolutely a door in line. It was just Alex was looking for something to say and what he came up within like...

Witch beef. It didn't click for me, but what clicked for me was Jack's Water Davian feet of athletics. Yeah, that one was cool. I fucking laughed out loud in the car while that was happening because the whole... Yeah, when I edited it, I was like, that's good. But yeah, the witch beef, I genuinely would have forgotten it.

It was in the episode if it didn't, people weren't talking about it. But people have been all over it. Someone just posted about it just now. It's just absurd. in a way that I find really funny. Well, let's make some more absurd funny. Yeah, time to kill all your characters, as we said. Let's do it.

Freshly pulled from the terrifying pool of sucking mud. Doran has a minute to regain his composure as our adventurers gather around the incapacitated stone giant. Looks like you guys finally have the upper hand again. Let's see how our heroes can exploit this tactical advantage. Mari, it's your turn. She, like, looks over at the spider vener on the wall, and she, like, it gives her whatever the closest thing is to, like, a thumbs up is.

Like, claw up. Just be like, it's good because she can sort of kind of see what's going on. And she calls it over to sort of create a barrier between Jack so that there's something distracting the giant. Yeah. If it wakes up, it's not just going to immediately go for Jack. Cool. So 30 feet brings it to kind of between Jack and the giant on the ceiling.

The other ones are going to stay in place, and I guess we're not waking this thing up just yet. Excellent. Doran, it's your turn again. Thank you, Red, for your help and for pulling me out of there. You're welcome. I know that was hard for you to say. I'm going to get ready and position myself appropriately to take on this giant, because I'm sure. he's not going to stay sleeping forever.

He kind of makes his way around to the south side of the pit over toward the giant. Excellent. Avoiding stepping into any of the mud. Thank you for specifying that. It's important to remember. Jack, it's your turn. Yeah. Jack moves slightly to the east to sort of get out of the direct line of sight of this stone giant for it to wake up.

Okay. I wonder if we actually attack it or if we just leave. You know, like if he wakes up again and throws one of us back into the mud and then he's not asleep. Like, this is going to be a huge issue. Like, what if we just leave this room? When he wakes up, eventually, he's going to be like, what the fuck did I see? Why did I go to sleep?

Ties up my concentration for eight hours is the trick. And then we've got a bad guy block on our exit is the other thing. And it leaves one more xenophobe to go destroy all of the culture of the sword coast. We'll just get into position. When everyone's ready we'll attack. Red, it's your turn.

Red gets into position. He pulled his bow and says, ready when you and he readies his bow until Dorn's in position, and then when it's his next round, we'll fight the thing. Cool, cool. Mari, what do you do? I go to my spiders and I give them a little, like, doggy whistle. They wiggle happily,

and I send over the other two spiders, Vernda and Vother, over, to just sort of surround this thing. So that if he wakes up, the first thing he's going to see are three giant spiders, and all I can hope is that this guy isn't just, xenophobe but also an arachnophobe we can only hope i can only hope excellent doran dorin's going to dash right up next to it and and he's going to ready an action for as soon as this

thing wakes up okay red red says take it marie and i'm going to drop an initiative just below marie so i can potentially do more damage once it's hurt excellent marie do it's time you're taking him to the mat everybody like nods at each other she shares it she shares a knowing look with anyone she can see, which I think maybe at this point is like Jack and Doran. Yeah. And she, through her mind, commands her spiders to all bite. Okay. So the first one, 15 to hit?

Miss. 20 to hit? Yes, hits. Yeah. And then 13 to hit. So one hit out of three spider bites. How much damage does he take? Nine damage.

Okay. Plus, you need to make a Constitution saving throw. Great. 16 that saves so you're still going to take four poison damage excellent the giant wakes up what a wake up yeah nobody likes a spider bite gulliver's travels though yeah yeah and I think I think I want to try out something new okay I want to cast erupting earth do it so a fountain of churned earth erupts in a 20-foot cube centered on that point. So she concentrates and puts her hand to the ground and the ground starts to rumble all around this giant. And it starts to

shoot up. So you're going to make me a deck saving throw. Okay. So it's nine. Failed. Nice. Twenty-two bludgeoning damage and now that area is difficult terrain. Excellent. So yeah, this geyser of rock and earth just erupts from underneath the giant and your spiders and just this huge plume of destruction erupts into the air. The giant hates that. Unfortunately, your spiders are going to have to make deck saves as well. But not Doran. Yeah, Doran, it's just on the edge.

Yeah, like this just giant wall of earth just like appears in front of me. So one of them I rolled a 23, which is fine. but the other one I rolled a, like, 12, so it's fucked. Great. So Vernda is fine. It sort of scampers back, but Viener is taking 11 points of damage. Poor Vener. Marvelous.

Great stuff. Okay, Mari, good turn. Red. Red fires at the creature before it can stand up. 16 a hit? You miss. Damn it. I'll attack again.

18. Yes. Nice. And because it took damage, it's going to take a little more damage. 34 damage. Awesome. As the arrow sinks through his thigh. I said, that's right, you giant son of the chick.

Okay, Doren, as of late, you were buried in mud and now free, standing at the foot of this prone, webbed giant. What do you do? Take some revenge. The mud still sloshing off of me. Doran stands and watches the earth come up before him and jostle the giant, obviously taking some damage. Doran slashes at the giant's legs, hoping to injure it to a degree of such magnitude that...

You know, less is more sometimes. A 19... Yeah, you hit. A 19 hits, doing 14 damage. on his first attack. Excellent. And then a 26. Doing eight more points of damage.

Good. Love it. Slicing off chunks of giant, stone giant flesh, revealing stone giant bone. Yeah. And underneath that bone is a... There's a little guy piloting it. And then Doran looks to his...

No, I'm just kidding more. Jack, that's the end of my turn. It's your turn. You are hiding around the corner. What do you do? Jack steps out from around the corner and locks eyes with this stone giant, the spellguard sphere in his hand, and a dull death knell starts to ring out from it as he tries to pull the soul from its body. I'd love a wisdom saving throw, please.

Oh, okay. Boom. Ting dong. Six. Oh. This giant's not long for the world. Dumb motherfucker over here. Four necrotic damage

as this thing starts to corrupt and eat away around its eyes and mouth and then Jack steps back behind the corner again. Excellent. With Kieran at his side. Now it's finally the Giants' turn. You say finally like it didn't act first. It literally threw Dorn.

Yeah, but that was like two hours ago. Well, that's how long its first action took us to resolve. That's all I can tell you. From a prone, restrained condition, the stone giant casts a spell. Oh, no. Is it throw dwarf into mud? Please not that spell. That's right.

It is launch dwarf. It's a 10th level. Oh, no. I've got to learn that one next level. Oh, Nelly. The stone giant casts a spell. And to your eyes, he begins to move. lightning fast.

Oh shit. First, all of the spider webs are broken off of his body with a powerful flex of his muscles. He stands. He casts another spell. Doran, the stone around your feet remolds itself to grasp your feet and legs in these stone grieves. And you are stuck to the floor in this pool of cooled stone now. Jokes on you. I didn't want to move.

You can't speak because this is happening way too fast. The Jokes on. The giant then essentially turns into this liquid stone and walks backward into the wall and disappears from sight. Shit. I like it. Revealed to the enemy. Wait, but is the combat music still playing? Yes.

To hear the combat music guys It's here Dund do that music for dice shit What the hell just happened And that all happens In the course of Four seconds Uh guys

What the hell happened I don't know It moved super fast I've never seen anything like that before And Doren's standing there He's got rocks Built up around his feet As if he's been standing there

for centuries. Some kind of super speed or something. Everyone just get ready. I can't move. Damn it. It's Mari's turn. Hate what's my turn. How deep is Doran, how deeper is feet him?

Yeah, this is like a foot thick of rock now around Doran. It's going to take some serious time to try to chip him out. The hard part is that I have one spell that does turn rock. rock to mud, but I can only use it once. I would say don't worry about it because I do, you know, I've got a Dungeoneers pack which has my like a pickaxe in it. I can just start hacking up. Yeah. Yeah, if I can have, yeah, I can have the spiders ready to fire off once they see something.

And then Mari is feeling pretty nervous about this. So she begins to cast guiding bolt as her hands move and this beam of light is in her hand She holds it like her bow ready to go, ready to cast it the second this thing reappears. Okay. Mari, you've readied your spell and spiders readying their webs. Red, it's your turn. Red heads out onto the mud. His spell's still active.

And he shouts out, remember, they can go through stone. Maybe get away from the walls if that might help. And he kind of looks towards Jack. And he readies his bow to shoot the moment these things appear or surface. any stone giant that pops into his eye. That's my turn. Cool. Doran, it's your turn.

Yeah, Doran's going to pull out his pickaxe, or she's got a little tool in there, and he's going to start chipping away at the stones that are wrapping his feet, focusing on, like, higher up on his leg, I guess, and then hopefully he can slip his feet out. Stoone chipping. Ting, ting, ting. Jack, your turn? Uh, yeah, Jack first turns to Kieran and says, can you hear the giant in the walls?

Do you have any sense of where they are? No, I can't, I can't hear them, boss. I move away from this wall, sort of back towards red, only to sort of now turn the corner and see what's left of the magic that this giant did. And, well, I don't expect it to entirely burst Doran out of the wall. I do try and mold the earth around his feet. I can take stones and take difficult terrain and sort of make them normal terrain, So I think there's maybe a little bit of smoothing out

or maybe shaving a few rounds off that minute. I might be able to... Does it do anything to stone? If dirt or stone you target is on the ground, you can cause it to become difficult terrain. Alternatively, you can cause the ground to become normal terrain if it is already difficult terrain. It smooths out Doran's locked legs.

Maybe it can thin and smooth out and make it, you know, find some vulnerabilities there to try and help him along. I mean, you can definitely remove some of the rocks that the eruption of, earth cause to be placed there for sure. Well, I do my best to help. Excellent. Now it is Mari's turn. Mari, you lose your spell. Unfortunately, as no giants have arrived. Rude. What would you like to do? I would like to call one over to me. And then I have them

continue to ready their web. And I think she spins her staff one more time and the blue lights weaves with the carvings and she has cashed lily again and she prepares herself just to bonk this thing in the head if it comes up nearer. Excellent. Red. Red spins around nervously, feeling like he can almost sense it in the walls and colds out. No one sees anything, do they? No, I don't. I got nothing. And I'll roll perception. 22. You don't perceive anything apart from the mud burbling underneath you and your companions frantically trying to ready themselves. Yeah, I'm like kind of just spinning around.

And again, I ready the bow, keeping it taught, the string taught as I'm spinning around, sweat dripping from my forehead. And that'll be my turn again. Doran. Doran continues to chip away at his feet, glancing around in a sort of urgent manner, just trying to keep an eye on what's going on around him and where this giant may pop out. Mm-hmm. There's no sound from the stone walls all around you. It's unnerving. I'm just going to get myself out of here,

and then I'm sure we'll be able to move along. Hurry, Doran. Get yourself out quickly. I am. Jack. Jack continues to smooth and remove any of the stone that Doran is chipping off from around him, returning it back to a flat walkable surface so that we're at least not tripping over it

if we need to move fast, all the while staying vigilant for the first sight of anything peepin out of the walls. Cool. Jack smooths out the rock, moving away the rubble and debris. And then you see them. Them?

Stone giants pulling themselves out of the ground, as if out of a pool of water, three of them. Uh. One directly beside you and Kieran, Jack. One, beside you, frantically chipping your stone boots. One and one beside you, Mari.

Damn it. Three stone giants emerge from the floor all around you. It looks like they are targeting the three of you who are on dry land right now. now, red being in the middle of this giant mud puddle. Maybe they're not interested in you right now. We're going to find out. However, you all have some readied actions, or most of you do, at least to resolve before the giants get to fully take their turns. So we'll start with Mari because you are next in line. I'm really going to regret this if these guys come out and they're like, hey, what's going on? We brought scones. And then I just fucking crank one in the face so hard.

One of them's got a punch bowl. Yeah, yeah. We met the nice... Guests. We love guests. Oh my God, friends. We got off on the wrong foot, but... I really hate that rumor that's going around that we're xenophones.

Guys, this will be our chance to really stretch out. Maybe we've been wrong all these years about other people. What the fuck? So, Mari, what will you do? Are you going to take your ready to action? Hit them. Mari, now's the time. all right roll to hit 17 that does hit nice oh thank god 13 damage nice

marie looks at this thing and she's like half its height I think way less than that oh how tall are they they're almost 20 feet okay yeah she's she's one third it's height basically and and rears back and cranks it like mid thigh like ouch yeah that's a painful one This resounding crack echoes throughout the cavern. Your spiders also have readied web attacks. Now, you did say that they were going to shoot at the webs at the guy if he returned. So specifically the one target. This is true.

This is true. But can I guess I can't yell to them and be like, no, the other ones too. That particular giant is the one that is right up against Kieran right now. rearing back with the power of God. He's going to stomp on a dog if you don't do something. Stomp that dog. Just kill the dog for no reason. Well, it's not for no reason.

What is the reason, though? It's funny. They're as valid a target as any. They're just a cute little puppy and a cute hat. Dog socks. Kill it. There's an angle in there somewhere. I guess I can't tell them to not fire if they're going to do anything.

they're going to fire it that one guy they can't because i'm like they do they can they find the difference between stone giants that's my question that's a fair point that's a fair point what's their intelligence number ooh they're dumb as hell they have an intelligence of two that's two it's two with a negative four if you're doing a check okay i don't want to set precedent here but i'm i'm going to rule it that these spiders know what a stone giant looks like and not what an individual stone giant looks like. So you can target whoever you want with each of these web slinging attacks.

Okay. They're, God, they're so dumb, but I love them so much. My big spider boys. Don't we all. So, uh... They aim and shoot the dwarf. What the fuck?

Veener, the one that's closest to Jack and Kieran is going to fire at that one because it's just, they're going to fight the ones closest to it. That seems fair. Yeah, so I rolled an 18 to hit. 18, yeah, you hit the stone Giant with icky sticky webbing.

Icky sticky webbing. So both are the one that is in the middle. That rolled, ooh, a 10. So that's, I assume, fails. It does. I'm sorry. And then,

webbing flies wide into the pool of mud where it gets sucked down. So Vernda, can I also aim at that middle one? Sure. I rolled a 24 with that one. Okay. I'm more worried about,

I'm more worried about Doreen. here that I am about myself. Oh. Which is probably a mistake. Yeah, I don't. Well, you know, you can't help it. So now, uh, now that guy is restrained. Mostly because I can leave and Doran can't.

You're a selfless, a selfless hero. It's all good until, uh, Joe crits on me and I get turned into a, into a red and blue smear across the ground. Yeah. Oh, yeah. So, but, uh, but yes. So the, uh, the third spider rears back, um, takes a, um, It gets a beady wall of eyes on the giant nearest Doren and fires away and hits them with some web.

And they all think that they've done good, including the middle one who's dumb as hell and can't aim. As for Red's ready to action, you didn't specify target. You just said if a stone giant comes. Yes. Red turns to the one that is not restrained, I suppose. The one that Mari already hit with her, Shaleli. Yes. Save me, Red.

Call me, Daddy. Save me, Daddy. I was just going to say, you have to call him daddy. I'm on it, my baby boy. Kieran turns towards you, Red, and fires a look that's just puppy dog eyes. And Red aims his bow right at Kieran and goes, no. Fight the edge. And instead he'll fight the stone giant that's right next to Jack, because this is the one that first disappeared, right?

I think Red recognizes it. Yeah, you see that it's got an arrow sticking out of it already, and it's looking a little beat up. suck on this stony and i'm going to fire 23 damage hey nice 23 dorin like throws a look across the room at mary and kind of shrugs when he hears

when he hears jack yell save me daddy i don't know i don't get it just came out of me i don't know where it came from let's take out the one that's webbed next to jack he's already weak Doran and Jack, unfortunately, neither of you prepared actions last round, so we're just... We were busy trying to chip Doran out.

We're just going to run right forward into these giant turns. Yeah. All right. Starting with the stone giant that is all webbed up, looks like he's just about on his last legs, but is standing menacingly over our beloved Kieran, Jack Page, and Vener the spider. Viener Viener The spider

What's a big Vena? The stone giant lifts up a great club And swings it at Kieran No Why 17 to hit Totally hits

Yeah From here on out I'm gonna make an official Kieran death sound effects That I can just slot in For all the time It should sound like this I don't have to just change

He's not gonna be a dog then He'll be a bird next time Be like this You be like this So give me a lizard Death sound effect Come on. Done.

And that's 17 bludgeoning damage. Yeah, Kieran disappears into a poof of celestial. I believe canonically it's a mist of blood and gore. Yes, that's true. Sound effect will detail that right now. I don't remember that. Although the creature is restrained, Jack, you are not safe from its reach.

This giant has got super duper long arms. Don't love it. And although you are not directly beside it, he's going to take another swing at you. That's an 18 to hit you. You know, it would hit me, but I'm able to, just the last second, pulling that last bit of magic from Kieran's corpse as he disappears. Nice. Puppie dog jumps in front of me and creates a lovely shield to save me from this blow. Great job.

I love that. I'm going to give you inspiration. Hey. I'll take it. Although I see it in a very cartoon fashion. like the dog's spirit is slowly whining out but then all of a sudden he like you know instead of like gracefully growing up to this guy

he like stops midway and jumps in front of you and then disappears you know yeah so cartoonish in my head it's like an airbud style thing where it's like no one ever said a dog can't be a shield and yeah in my head it's a stop motion claymation

oh oh no the next giant to attack is the one beside you, Doran. Unfortunately, you are also restrained. So this giant does not have disadvantage to attack you because he has advantage to hit you. So two great club hits coming at you. So they're just like flopping at each other, like two fish out of water.

Yeah. 23 to hit you, Doran. Oh, dang it? Yes, it does. 14 bludgeoning damage. Oh, I'm so sorry. That's 20 bludgeoning damage. Oh, that's worse.

Oofy. sorry? I'm not. I'm enjoying every moment of this. Are you fucking sorry? The second hit, 22 to hit you. Oh, to hit, yes.

It hits. I was like writing down 22 damage. I'm like, no, hold on. Nope. That's 20 bludgeoning damage. Oh, damn it. 40 in that round. How are you looking, Dorn?

53 hit points. Doren does look like one of those punching bags, you know? But like... I love the idea that it hits you and you like, Ben back. One of those clowns that like comes right back up when you did it. That's right. Are you calling me a clown?

Mari, you're next up to take some abuse. That's cool. The guy directly beside you is not restrained. What a waste. Sorry, Doran. Damn it. The giant picks up a boulder from the ground beside it. You know, all the rubble that's been littering this cavern.

and rolls it in a line. She's getting, like, bowling pins? Yeah, you are. Boldo. I really hope that when she eventually gets knocked over, that it comes with one of those weird, like, 3D model things, like, you get a bowling alley's when you get a strike.

Yeah. Make a dexterity saving throw, Mari and Spider-Voenda. All right. I got a 10, which I don't think is enough. Absolutely not. No. And the spider.

A 16. Yeah, you fail too. Oh. Oh, so everyone's... Mari, you and the spider each take 22 bludgeoning damage. Hoo! That's not good for my spider.

And you both fall prone. All right. Marie, you're up. No, she's prone. Oh, nice. Good one. Do I get inspiration? God, I haven't had it in so long.

No, I gave it to you last session. Oh, she is lying on the ground. and feeling terrible. She gets up and she just kind of like tries to like shake herself back. She's got a big welch you can sort of see on her head starting to already form. And she looks over at Doran who is still chipping away at this stuff while this giant sort of flops beside him, still covered in Webb. And I'm going to cast polymorph on Doran.

Nice. All right. I feel like Doran sees you. Oh. And he sees like. the worry in your eyes and he says something like don't give up now Mari you've come this far come on you're one of us she locks eyes with Doran and hardens her resolve and reaches up and this beam of light comes up from her hand disappears into the ceiling and shoots back down

onto Doran causing his body to start to glow and sort of start pushing outwards as if like the world's most horrifying expanding origami as chitin and these claws form outwards creating a massive nightmare crab that reappears, I assume, breaking him out of the ground, seeing as now he's massive. Oh, my lord.

I'm going to laugh if Joe's like, all of his legs are still stuck in the ground. Well, only two of them, right? Because he's got six legs. But the nice thing about crab legs is they have no... Are delicious. They are delicious. That thought did pop it on my mind.

Come on down to Red Lobster. It's Doran, crab time. Crack them open. I wonder if this is all melted butter. Doran Crab Fest. Doran, as this polymorph takes effect, now becoming familiar to you, your limbs extend, lengthen, and become kiteness.

But as they do, they begin to kind of crack out and slide out of these stone boots that were keeping your. you restrained, keeping you in place. And your huge body kind of shoves the spider out of the way as you push your giant back against the stone wall behind you. You kind of slide out from between where the stone giant had you against the wall. And now your back is actually to that big empty room where the beer barrel is.

And there's like this big scraping sound in like echoing in the tunnel from my shell scraping against the wall as I grow. And as an individual, as the person I am, Doran feels, you know, the senses on his skin quickly recede below. And it feels like he's covered in this crusty armor echoing into his organs. All right, less is more. You got it. We got there.

Nice. Different from his own crusty beard he's never in. Excellent. Excellent. So, Mari, you have polymorphed Doren. You stood up. Do you want to do anything else? Standing next to this giant feels like an absolutely terrible idea. For a bonus action, she turns around to the giant. He gives like a little crab wave, I like to imagine, and she turns to the giant and just gives him a little wink. And a mist envelops her, and she misty steps out of the way. Excellent.

With a bit of attitude, eh? Yes. I'm going to crush that out of you really soon I know, I know, I like, give me this Give me what little I can have Shubris She misty steps and then she reappears About 20, 30 feet

From where the giant That she was staying next to is closer to the wall And sort of in between the mud and the cave wall Trying to sort of keep herself Getting closer and closer to the exit That leads outside Cool, a little bit of distance All right, what are the spiders gonna do?

They are going to attack because she commands them mostly just telepathically, but also just through a lot of frantic waving. They can't really hear her again. They're spiders and they're kind of dumb, but they're so sweet. And they're going to try to bite the giant. So Vener goes over to the giant its closest to.

The one nearest to Jack tries to bite and rolls. I roll the Nat 20. Oh, nice. Great job. Much. The webbing pays for itself, ladies and gentlemen. Nice. That's, and can you roll me a constitution saving throw?

I probably don't need to, but I will. Probably. Uh, 19? Yeah, that, that saves, but I still get that guy to you. Still takes 12 damage. Okay. From the spider. What kind of damage?

Seven piercing damage, and then that is five poison damage. Five exactly? Yep. Dude has five. exact hit points left. What? If only you hadn't made that save. This guy would be fucking dead.

Yeah, so he takes, unfortunately, it's half poison damage, right? Yeah, that was half. Yeah, so he takes two poison damage from that. Three hit points left on him. You doubled the poison damage too, right? You were 4D8s and then... You rolled all your damage dice twice, right? I did not roll all my damage.

I drove my first one twice and then I'm... Hey! So anyways. me, Alex. The mantle has been passed to another Alex. The Alexes prevail. Shit. We have to give you the honorary cross-stitch.

Properly rolling that now that I have the mantle of the Alex with the most confusion around what to do with a critical. At least you have spells. How much damage? So 16 total damage. Awesome. Yeah. I mean, Veener crawls up to this giant. And critical hit.

How does he kill it? He kills it? Yeah. He goes, I am Viener. Yeah, it locks all of its eight beady eyes with the giant's two eyes. And it somehow makes like angry eyebrows. I don't know how, but a spider can. It's like a girer face.

And it rears up on four of its back legs and then slams its fangs straight down into the giant's tank. And the giant takes a knee, this thunderous, boom. shakes the room that you're in. Pieces of stones start falling off of the ceiling and the giant is defeated. Heck yes. Wow. Wow. I can only imagine seeing the fangs,

you know, drinking the brains over the head of this. Harlan, you've got to get a sound effect of a straw doing that thing. A milkshake. No. Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters Adam Frye, Amanda Kitchener, Amy Gaza, Anne, Cecil Lee Wilson, Jerry Rose Anderson, Christopher, Colin Burkhart, Crow, Casey, DS, Dippity, Elizabeth H, Haley, Harper the Marks, Heather Nichols, Indian Thrifty, Jekyll, Jekyll, J. J.D.,

Joy Robinson, Jewry, K.R. K.M. Cade. Kirsten Wolf, lasagna. Last Ruth on the left. Leader J. Lizzie Demon. Lerleye Feldman. Loon. Matilda Rushing. Melinda Curley. Moon. Melissa. Merlin. Sam C. Reagan. Regan. Ren. Ruth Ann Reed. Scotty. Sray 96. Tony Pepperoni. Zander Morning Dove and Zach House. Constitution Max Damage Max Damage It's my next character's name

34 damage