Dice Shame - 2-53 | 'Fallback Plan'

Episode Date: August 31, 2023

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!https://www.extra-life.org/participant/INVICTUSContent Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Let's go in there and get the drop. We're not that far from where we just fought three of them. Can we just drop the act? I'm a coward. New cast could be fun. After my pickinic baskets. Come on now. Oh my God, there's a giant crab. Let's destroy it.

Get in, losers. We're going to go pick up losers. Unswimable. I don't see what everybody's complaining about. Okay, whatever the goat one, okay? This whole thing is getting very slapstick, very fast. Everybody, you're with us, aren't you? Red, it's a brilliant idea.

You are very smart. And immediately make a, what's the attack called? the oh right a claw attack attacking Why can I not remember the word

claws Welcome back to Dice Shame This is season 2 episode 53 Fallback Plan MVP this week is Yammy

Who was nominated by Merrimo. Merrimo says Yami, thanks for being so cool and sweet. You'll be caught up in no time, and I look forward to reading your live blogs as you go. Thanks, Marymo, for nominating Yami. And thank you, Yami, for being this week's MVP. Thank you to everyone who came out to see us at Fan Expo this past weekend.

Harlan and I had a wonderful time meeting everyone, and it was so nice to see some familiar faces from last year. We're so lucky to have such a warm and supportive community. And if you're feeling left out, don't worry. There's always next year. always always all right should we play some d and d yeah let's do it woo so fight or not to fight sneak or not to sneak scout or not to skip we got a giant crab let's surprise these guys yeah well okay i mean i'm i'm always on team scout but i'm i'm a coward so but it's some character growth for marie well it's the most tactical

sound to scout. Let's not it's not because you're a coward. It is undoubtedly the smartest move to find out what's ahead of you before fighting it. However, time is not on our side as we know with the crab. But does it make more sense to still try to draw these two

to us in terms of who knows what's beyond that shadowy corner? Like, yes. But if four more giants are just around that bend, then going in their guns playing is a terrible idea. Like it takes 10 seconds for you to sneak your ass around that corner and see and then we jump them.

Correct. I kind of agree with that. Yeah. Plan. I'm fine with that. Crossing the stone bridge over the river to the west side of the canyon, the four adventurers peer into the cave mouth, tentative. A large campfire burns in the middle of the cave,

and its light illuminates the carvings that decorate the walls, showing the abstracted forms of stone giant. throwing boulders, the flickering shadows making them seem to move. Two stone giants sit around a campfire, one with its back to you, and the other mostly turned away also. They appear calm, resting maybe. Ten foot high ledges create a stepwise ring around the perimeter of most of the cavern. And Doran is a crab. Boy is he.

Red turns to Dorin. Dorn. What do you think we should? Oh, right. Never mind. What do you think, boy? What do you see in there? Yes.

Two clacks for, yes, one clack for no. If only he was a horseshoe crab, then his little stinger could wag when he's happy. Ooh, yes. I'm imagining he's still got, like, underneath his little crab mandibles, he's got a little beard still.

Yeah, if it's made of seaweed. Crabbs do have beards, yeah, that's right. If he was a horseshoe crab, we could sell his blood for an insane amount of money because it is the most expensive liquid on earth. It's true. It's more expensive. Can we just drop the act?

I know exactly why you turn me into a crab so that I couldn't talk. That's exactly why you did it. Extract his blood. Oh, yeah, that. It's twofold. Harry was thinking about crab cakes the whole time. She's been really snacky.

I was going to say, you're going to boil me. You're going to have these huge crab legs. But what a way to go. Doren goes so good with butter. Red turns to Jack and he's like, okay, look, there's no sense in just going in their guns of blazing, right? Maybe I'll, uh, oh. Hold on, and red drops to his belly, and he does his primeval awareness,

because why physically go there when I can just sense if there are other giants and things in the shadowy corners of this room? But can you pinpoint that closely? Of course I can. I'm red! But I think you could just see, like, the number of individuals. I'm red. Okay, okay.

If we're looking at the map from a bird's eye view, and we draw a line over a, red that runs north-south you're going to have six giants to the west of you interesting sorry i missed there's eight i missed five it's a big difference sorry there's 80 it's just it's just token after token what i wrote yeah 80 we're we're so fucked and really to the south of you red there's only one it Additionally, though, it tells me the direction and distance in miles from me. So it would say... Point zero zero.

No, no. What I mean to say is if I could sense six, it's not going to be six static. It would be two at one mile, two at six miles. You know what I mean? Like, there would be an incremental. So I guess really what I want to know is I see two to the west. Are the other four only a tiny bit further or are they a fair amount further? And can we use kilometers, please?

No. In Feyrune, we use the metric system. D&D's in miles and feet. Imperial is fuck over here. I will tell you two very, very close by, three relatively close by, and a further two just past that. Ah, red pops back up.

All right, they are two in the room to the west of us, but maybe another oh I don't know a hundred feet past them to the west these three more giants scattered around now there could be a wall between us

but that's pretty damn close that's basically within a hundred feet of them are three more do we want to go in crabs of blazing Doran's beady eyes are staring down and he's clacking his big claws in excitement

you know Doran wants to go in and grab these two well let's not forget Three of them almost killed us. Yeah, and Mari can sort of feel like how tired her magic's starting to get, which is my in-universe way of saying, my spell slots are starting to look a little sad.

Mary, you're so sleepy. Open your eyes. She's nodding off. She's taking a little nap. She deserves it. We don't really have a lot of options here. We're doing this for Slatefeld. We're doing this to save the Sword Coast.

We need to find the Thane and the conch. other than sneak by and fight our way out, what other option do we have? We might as well surprise these two while they're not aware of us. And if more come, you know, we deal with it as they get here. Well, I don't think we can fight five giants. I think we do need to recognize our limits. I think if five giants came into that fight, we would be dead. But, I hear you, perhaps we sacrifice the benefit of surprise to lure them out here.

That gives a lot more distance between them and who they might see. And Red sort of stands kind of near the edge here because we're sort of over a ravine, right? That's right. Yeah, you're standing on this ledge that is connected to the other side of the ravine by a stone bridge. And underneath you, maybe 60 feet across, is this low, slow-moving river. Look, I don't know if a fall would kill them or even if we'd be able to do it, but out here at least there are maybe options to get some distance. And like I said, it could be a little louder

without having to worry about three more giants ruining our day. I mean, counterpoint Tamari's exhaustion. Jack is lit up with power, having reserved a lot of his magical energy, and being an expert at dealing at groups of people and carving them up to make some of them sleep for a little bit or do whatever. If three more appear, maybe we can hip to... them. Maybe we can trap them in a wall of force. Maybe, like, we've got options to divide and conquer that I haven't used yet.

Meta speaking, I'm for taunting them outwards. Why not have them closer? I love what you're saying taunt them out. Instead of lure them. Hey, losers! Well, funny enough, I was kind of thinking like, lure, taunt, whatever. Like, maybe taunt is the wrong word.

Get in losers. We're going to go pick up losers. No, no, I like it. I was thinking if we do the girl, the, the, the, female stone giant sound. I'm imagining red in like a dress like yoo-hoo and like putting like one leg out

like bugs bunny style. Very bugs bunny. Lion. Oh, hello. Classic strategy. Would a 30 foot drop really do much damage to these guys? It's a great question.

Probably not. I don't know. Actually, I know lots about stone giants. Can I roll on that? Yeah, for sure. 16 to find out if stone giants would be hurt by falling 30 feet. Stone giants are going to take the same

amount of falling damage as any other creature, which is to say one D6 per 10 feet. Yeah, okay. I mean, I wasn't thinking that it would be the main draw of damage, but... I mean, we could try and push them off, you know? That's what I mean, like, if it got real dire, the crab could grab one and just walk off the edge, you lose your hit points and pop back down there. You know what I mean? Yeah, I hear you, Jack.

Look, if you feel confident, I'm loving the energy. We're only going to get a handful of chances to catch. them by surprise this is one of them let's not squander that opportunity if more come out I mean we're we're not that far from where we just fought three of them these guys didn't move a muscle to help so perhaps there's the sound isn't traveling a whole lot around here perhaps you know they're not inclined or it's so rowdy anyways nobody's gonna come looking why wouldn't these guys have come we're only you know a couple of hundred feet from where we were if there's

others gonna back them up maybe there was a whole ravine between where we fought than previous and here, but I recognize that you're fired up and I like it. We don't get Jack all fired up often. I want to be a yes supportive friend. I'm going to go on record to say, I think luring out would be smarter, but if Jack feels confident, I'm going to believe in you and I'm going to let your confidence carry over to me. Let's do it. Let's go in there and get the drop. Doran's just staying there clacking his Castanets Yeah

Pinsers claws Crabstinets that's good Claw crabs to nets All right Jack Yeah Doren's staying there clacking his claws You know he's excited Yeah I look to Jack I mean whenever you're ready

If you feel like you've sighted in on one of them Let's get ready You want me to take You just tell me what you think It makes the most sense You want me to attack one Do you want to both hit the first one? I think we all focus fire on one of them

Well, they don't suspect. Hold on. If I go in as a giant crab, that's going to seem, you know, I'm just thinking. What is that going to seem like? They're not going to look at that as, you know, you've got advent. I've got it. There's adventures here trying to steal the conch. The conch.

It's not, it's rather, yeah, maybe they're thinking dinner. Should I run in as a distraction and start attacking them? And they'll focus on me. Belly flop as a giant crab down off a cliff on top of them. And then they might be so focused on fighting this giant crab. that you guys can take shots before they even realize what's going on. Is that like a thing? Can you do that where you guys are still acting on surprise and I'm engaged?

If your house is being attacked by bandits, you're going to be like, oh, I'm being attacked by bandits versus if a bear comes into your house. You're going to be like, oh, I don't think they're here to steal something. I'm trying to get this bear out. Classic bandit bear analogy. After my picnic baskets. Come on now. So if the crab goes in there.

These giants are more likely to think, oh, my God, there's a giant crab. Let's destroy it. And not, oh, my God, there's a giant crab. There's people here to try and steal the conk. The tactical thing to do would be to get you into the room enough that you could get right up close to them to fuck them up in one round. Like, whatever your movement is, you're going to be one movement away from them before we start. Right. Nobody suspects the crab from 20 feet.

From the top rope. Oh, it's the crab with the chair. From the top rope. Your confidence is contagious. Let's do it. Like I've always said, nobody expects the crab from 20 feet. Cool. It's an idiom in Waterdeep.

I don't know. I don't know. That doesn't read here. Do you say that a lot? Constantly. That's funny. What happens next? I can basically walk to here.

Yeah, like I think he's got to be within distance to do something in that round, and then he'll hopefully get a second chance to do something before. But if he jumps off the 20 feet to land on the stone giant to attack, are you going to make him take damage? Probably right. It's an intentional jump. I would probably have him roll. Acrobatics.

Crab crab crab crab crab robotics? Crabobatics. Crabcrobobatics. Crabobabic. That's the one. Inspiration. Crabcrabbit. Unless you have reach and you can snap off their heads from standing above.

You do have reach. They're pretty tall. I mean, even sitting. Stay at the top and like reach down and try and decapitate them with a. This is like crab. Without having to go down there. Tentatively reaching it. Yeah, just poised in position.

Don't open their eyes. don't open their eyes. I dig that. This whole thing is getting very slapstick very fast. This could just be a Bugs Bunny episode. And then we might all die or they might have the thing here. Let's do it. You know what? I'm fine, because Red can run like 90 feet out of here. Yeah, you're good.

What are you worried? That's what I said? Listen, that's why I'm all in support. I'm like, this is great. Honestly, new cast could be fun. Are you sending Doran by himself? Red looks to the giant crap and gestures for the doorway. Red is going to enter as well, using his stealth

and the pass without trace, that still encompasses the crab within a 30 feet radius. I'm going to follow the crab, keeping it still in my sphere of influence, up until it arrives at the edge where Jack wants to pounce down and attack the stone giants below. And then from there, I'll probably, I guess, approach the ledge to fire down at them too, because they're not sticking up above the 20-foot ledge. So we all have to get to the edge. So, and then Red will make sure. everyone follows him. The intention then

is for Jack and Mari to stay behind while Red and Doran are moving into this cavern. Is that correct? I think still within the 30 feet of the passive of a trace, yeah. Mari's got a bad feeling about this. Right, does too, but he smiles widely. I would like everyone to

roll for initiative, please. Okay. Dun-da-dun-da-dun-da-ton-da-chan. Chach. Jack, what'd you get? Jack got a 22. Nice. Doran. You got a 10.

Crab Doren with a 10. Crab initiative. Crab initiative. Alex would Mari get? 16. And Red. Nine. Red, you'd like to go before or after Crab Doren?

After. I presume Jack and Mari are going to wait, so just like, forego their turns in the initiative until it's Doren's turn? Yeah. Marvelous. Okay. And the effort is a stealthy one. So anyone who plans on moving into this cavern, please make me a stealth check.

It's a 22 for me, the crab. 20 for me. 13 for Jack, but it's a good thing I'm staying outside. Jingle bells, jingle bells. Yeah, Mari's staying outside because she rolled a five. Great, very good, all of you. I don't know how you could possibly get a five and add ten. It's not possible.

Oh, sorry, 50. Then a 15, sorry, 15. I forgot that there was past the trace happening, yes. I rolled a negative five. Plus 10 is five. She's struggling right now. I was one of those sneezes. Excellent.

Doran, you crabbly walk forward into the darkness of the cavern. The dim, crackling, campfire casting these shadows. Crabbling? Crab fire. And like, all you hear as Doran moves in is just like this soft little of like the tips of his toes touching the ground. That's when he realizes they're having a crab bake. You're like, no, my brother.

You don't smell crabs, but you do smell like a manure kind of smell. They're eating shit. So Doran, on your crab turn, you move in. Yep. And Red. Red will follow behind him, keeping him in the sphere of influence to make sure that Crabdorn can get up to the edge. Very good.

Undetected. Do Jack and Mari want to do anything? Just to stay within bubble of stealth. That's all Jack's got going for him right now. I love that you're like, we need to be in there. And I'm like in there. And you're like at the farthest, you're like, we got to go in there. Guns of Blazing.

Ray, go there. I'll stay here on the outskirt. It's fine. If I was the one who had the sphere of silence around me, I'd be in there. But I don't. You're the one with the power. Are you so far away? Turns out Jack's paid off these giants.

Yeah, this is Red's end. He's like, perfect. He like puts a hand on Mari. He's like, no, no, just stay. If only I could also run 90 feet in six seconds and really just get the hell out of the way. Yeah, that's right. Misty Step is just a knot thing. So Jack and Mari with your turns, you just, you barely darkened the entryway of this cavern.

I mean, the Desan's one. in hand. Not to cast any shade. Looking at the fire glowing off the bald head of the stone giant lining up my aim, practicing my incantations. I'm ready. But yeah, I'm not close.

Why would I be close? I'm a wizard. I'm so ready and a full 60 feet away. He's just like stretching and stuff and Mari's just looking at him, just watching him do this. Get ready, Mari. It's about to happen. I know. That's the problem.

Doran, what's the passive perception of your crab? Nine. And red, what is your passive perception? My passive perception is a natural 20. Marvelous. Crab, Doran, as you are approaching these stone giants, you see that they are giants, in fact. Twet.

Oh, wait, all that changes everything. Thank goodness for my passive perception. But red, as you. you are stealthing up behind your friend, it becomes clear to you that these giants are not moving a muscle. In fact, the way that they are staring across the fire into nothing indicates to you that they are in some kind of very altered state. They seem to be petrified.

Interesting. That puts a fly in the ointment. I feel like Doran doesn't really have enough time to realize it. So Doran approaches the ledge, this 20-foot drop. But you have 10-foot reach. You don't necessarily need to leap. You could get them. He's a leaping crab.

He is a leaper. I mean, if anyone's going to leap... Yeah. Doren approaches the edge of the ledge. And he's going to leap on the one that's closer to him, which is the giant of the north end here. And immediately make a, what's the attack called? The, oh, right, a claw attack.

Attacking with an intent of chopping this giant's head off with his claw. Make your attack with advantage, please. Ooh, that's going to be a 27 to hit. Wonderful. You do hit. Red's watching this all being like None of this is great That's okay, I'd support my friend Just watching it play out

He's like, oh no, yeah Jack better owe me big for this one Jack's still over there just like He's practicing his wand gestures My plan's working So far it is I don't see what everybody's complaining about We just killed three of these things

We're laughing How much damage do you deal? Four It's 20 bludgeoning damage Wonderful To the neck Yes. And Doran, please make it an acrobatics check for me as a crab. Oh.

Crabcrabatics. Crabbatics. God, I want you to succeed, but how fucking funny would it be of a crab just like fell off this? Just like laid on his back. That's a three. Oh, no. Crab Doren. Oh, shame.

Shame, shame. Shame, shame. Shame. You're wasting all my beautiful crab magic. Crab Doren, as you fly. off of the ledge, your six legs skittering heroically in midair. You catch this stone giant around the neck

wringing his flesh in your claw, but you do end up on your back. You take eight bludgeoning damage as you fall from the height. God damn. And you are terribly embarrassed. He does 10 damage to the giant and takes eight.

That's the worst exchange. To be fair, the giant still grappled. But the thing is, Doren, the giant doesn't flinch, bleed, doesn't react to your presence in any way, even as you are prone and desperately trying to get yourself reoriented. No movement from this giant beside you. Red, what do you do? Red's just like, she's fine? Everything's fine? He's good, he's good.

You guys sense, like, this, like, stress struggle, even though I can't say anything. I'm like, oh, come on my back. It's the scrabbling noise from below. Interesting. Can I roll on what the hell these stone giants are doing being the giant expert? Definitely. 17. They're stoned.

Fucking stoned. Donors. Red, it would seem like they are in the middle of some kind of. ceremony during which they become stone for some duration of time. It's impossible to know where in this ceremony they are, if there are moments from returning to their normal form, if they're going to be like this for years, but they are petrified doesn't mean that they're statues. They're alive. These creatures' hearts still beat deep within their chest somewhere. But their eyes are shut. Their eyes are open and unseeing. Ah, but they're facing away from us.

They are looking across the fire from where they are sitting. So they haven't seen me or Jack or Mari. They have seen the crab that tumbled around its neck and fallen. I mean, unclear whether a petrified creature will retain memories of its time. Fair. Okay. Red will turn to Jack and Mari and kind of like give a wide shrug and then he'll wave his hand in front of his face to be like, they're blind, they're not moving. And then I guess he'll gesture for Jack and Mari to come forward to him

because Red's going to pivot to exploring with Pass Without Trace for the last few minutes maybe to head into one of these offshoots. I don't think it makes sense to attack these guys anymore. Yeah, it feels like just a waste of time and spell slots. North or South then? Red will put one hand on the east wall

and head north to find the first opening and he'll just careen his head around the corner to peek in silently. Definitely. You descend two of these ledges to get down onto the ground floor where Crabb Doran is riding himself. And with Jack and Mari trailing behind you to still retain the benefits of your pass without trace, Redd, you look out through a northern tunnel towards daylight. It seems like the passage that you have chosen to investigate ends at another cavern opening further down the valley. Okay.

I was just thinking, wouldn't it be funny if one of these petrified giants fell over and their head like got knocked off? That would be really awesome. I look forward to looking over and seeing Crabdoran with like a big marker like drawing a little mustache and like a dick on one. I think Red will gesture to Crabdor and Mari and Jack to maybe even head down that passageway if they want.

And because there's another one just a little bit along that same wall, a little bit more to the west, I think Red will just poke his head in there as well too. Sure. And actually on his turn, quick as a flash, Red just zips down to the stone giant who's sitting there, petrified stone still. and he'll just take an old rusted dagger that he's got in the bag of holding and he'll just balance it on the thing's knee you know and then he'll head back and check that passageway okay ah just to see if they move or something exactly if they turn back tape on the outside of the door exactly it'll clatter I want to give you inspiration for that thank you I think that's very clever thank you

inspiration Mari and Jack you've been given marching orders by red do you go Up the corridor, or do you, what do you do? I'm going up to the corridor, staying within 30 feet a red. I mean, he's definitely the expert on giants and taking command of the situation, so we're following his lead. Yeah, Mari's just looking. She's following behind us. She's looking at the fire because these guys are obviously, there's some ritual happening,

but she's almost trying to look at to see if there's, like, some clue as to, like, what kind of, like, magic is being used. I know she doesn't, she won't be able to know anything, but. Mari, roll a nature check. There's a TV in the flames. 15. Yeah, based on the kinds of logs that you see burning on their diameter, you can tell that this fire has been burning for a number of hours already.

Right. I wonder if putting it out would either make them wake up or would ruin whatever they're doing. I would say don't put it out. If they're kind of a non-entity right now I feel like putting that thing out is going to Yeah, might wake them up. Agreed.

Yeah, that's my immediate assumption. Yeah. Red, as you approach this ledge looking down into this northern passageway, you are met with an overpowering smell of manure and a low bleeding sound. The manure store room. Bleeding. Interesting.

There are more than a dozen goats down here. Looks like this is a natural pen for them as they can't escape. These are the shittiest mountain goats ever because they can't climb a simple 10 foot slope. That's how it's right.

And they're covered in shit. Oh yeah, also that. And they are placidly looking up at you with their horizontal pupils. Creepy. I feel like Red would be really upset right now thinking of Scriven and being, like, like how much. Please.

Steven. Steven, right. Okay, whatever, whatever the goat one, okay? That's Stephen. Then there's Stevie, Scriven, and Steven, you should know this. Anyway, Red peaks his head back and Justice Furman to quickly move up to that hallway that leads to the exit. And he'll stay as close as he can without leaving anyone behind as we all move up towards that exit. Wonderful.

Yeah. You all go up towards the. eastern, northeastern exit, making way further north along this gulch. Gulch. And Red will peek his head out and see what he can see. It's daytime out there. Still. Still, we've only been here for 20 seconds.

I'd be more upset if we looked out and it was pitch blackout. We're like, oh, no. Yeah, for real. As you exit through this cave mouth, you are right along the river. bed here. So down right at ground level. Across the canyon, just north, and about 40 feet up the canyon wall, there is another cave entrance. A whole bunch more giants set into the wall of this canyon, and another cave mouth further to the north on the east side as well. Interesting. So red exits kind of takes a look around. I just want to see with my 20 perception, are there any rocks in

the sky. That's the flying birds, not falling rocks. Neither. You see neither. Perfect. And red will gesture everyone to quickly move across the riverbed and try to find a little bit of an alcove on the other side where we can sort of take a moment to talk. Somewhere to set your backs against. Yes. How deep was this water we're splashing through? How deep was the water? I was just thinking that. I really need. Splashy splash. Maximum, it's about five feet deep. in the center, it's pretty shallow. Unswimmable. Fuck you.

It's not for me, it isn't. My feet is not, it's not for any of it. She's just, she, Marry's just like, yay, and just disappears underneath, but she's like six feet tall, so like the top of her head is still visible. Oh, there's so much pee in this water. Don't tell Mari. She's like swimming, like, gulping it and spurting it out. Guys, I'm the water one.

We're like, oh, no, there's like a giant squatting and pissing up the river. Like a beautiful piss dolphin. It's great. It's, um, it's true. reversible. Let me put it that way. You would be, you would be able to float a rowboat down this river, but you would also be like looking out for rocks actively. Wait a minute, we have a rowboat. Red, as you enter the water, you feel the effects of pass without trace fail. Cool. And yeah, we exit and head to the other side of the river. All right, all right. They were

petrified in some sort of trance, completely unable to be affected or attacked in any way. So, I don't think it would have been effective to try to attack them anyway. We could have checked that other exit, but that's where I felt at least three other giants, if not more. And then you saw the other way was those bleeding goats. So this kind of was the only path

forward. I suppose we have options. It looks like it's the mouth of a cave to the south of us down that river there. And there's another cave mouth, I think I saw up the river across a log, and then there's obviously the one above us. It's probably

30, 40 feet if we wanted to climb. What are we thinking, team? I mean, for what it's worth, I say press north, you know, upriver. We're trying to get to the heart of Deadstone cleft to find the thing. That's got to be the direction. I agree. Marie?

Crabb Doran. Crabdorin clicks his hands, his claws, and gives you a knowing look. He's vibing, man. I understand the utility of maintaining the polymorph because you want to get all the juice out of the spell. Yeah. But we do want to hear from Doran at some point.

Well, I mean, communicating nonverbally. He's, you know, the, the beadiness in his eyes lights up when you guys agree. Because at this point, he's like, well, really any direction we go in is great. I love the idea of just Doran, just only getting Doran's like weird internal crab monologue. Like he's just, as he just comes to terms with things that rattle around in his carapace. I'm hungry. Where's the beer? Can we go back to that beer room?

Crabeyes have so much soul. You know, you can really learn a lot from them. Oh, yeah. Pupiless. Mari kind of shrugs and goes, well, they're probably, I mean, anyone's smart, is going to live upstream. So, yeah, you should probably head in that direction if that's what you're looking for.

That's what you're looking. You're with us. Mari, that's all of us. We're looking together. Mary, you're with us, aren't you? Mary, don't turn tail on us. Okay, you don't have to grab my lapels so much. Sorry, I really like them.

They're fuzzy. And 40 feet up, I imagine that the North Tunnel would somehow lead to this 40 feet up. And if it's 40 feet up, you would assume that the hierarchy of most things is like, you know, the king sits in the highest part of the castle type thing. Or like, you know. It's actually not a bad point, Crab Dorn,

even though we can't understand you. Dorn's like raising his hands up. Red also sort of looks towards these tall stone statues that are lining the valley. I'm pretty sure, at least, a few of these are going to be real. We should try to keep our distance when we can. But if one pops up, we'll take it down. And just before we start moving, Red grabs Jack's arm and says, hey, quick thought. Yeah. The rod of the Von and Dodd could help us locate things, right?

Uh, it can, yeah. Well, we have a conch. Presumably it's very similar, and we know what we're looking for. You think we should use it to try to locate the conch here? that's that's a thought so long as it's not like in an adamantine box or something we probably've got a good chance of finding it let's let's pull that rod out of your pack you're right it's a terrible idea

never mind let's just keep going I shouldn't have thought of anything dumb old red red it's a brilliant idea you are very smart and thanks for looking out for us to get to this point but let's pull out the rod of the von and dot and see if we can't find that Doran did you hear him and red looks up at the giant crab

on his phone well I am at my phone but I'm listening he's on his tab it it's fine I'm listening Crablet Crablet Crablet

Don't call me out like that The crab looks up on his crablet and clicks his claws and agreement why can I not remember the word clause Cool yeah red puts down the bag of holding and like drags out the rod of the Von and Dodd Yeah and like straining to get the hundred pound weight of it up and kind of on

you know, with the vibrating fork ends in the air. Jack strikes it softly and seeks out within a thousand feet, anything like the conch that we've found. Jack, about 350 feet away from you to the northwest. You get a ping. There is another magical conch somewhere very close. One of the magical conch, somewhere close. Another magical conch.

I ain't got nobody. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Jack snaps his fingers after that and a map of every piece of Deadstone cleft that we've seen so far comes up on it and sort of relatively puts itself in position. And somewhere in the dark unmapped area, Jack puts a little image of a conch

floating in the darkness, being like, that's where we need to get to. Amazing. And Red adds to it, with his minor illusion, of any of the giants that he saw roughly in that area as well. Yeah, three of them. All right, well, that's where the three were. So maybe it makes sense to just skim right up this river.

And if we can get around the bend, maybe there's an entrance to the west. The one up there right now only enters to the east, and we don't want to head that way. I'll follow your lead. I'll follow your lead, and Red grabs your hand. Jack grabs your hand. Together, handholding. Do you guys want to ride on the crab's back? Okay.

Fuck it, let's all ride on the crab. We all climb up and we're riding. Darn's like, oh, this is so great. They're riding me. Mari's sitting on the back and she just pat's crab Doren on the head right between the eyestalks. I've needed this my whole life.

She can feel like the weird hum of the magic that like holds the crab together and also like somehow it still smells like beer. It doesn't smell like a crab, it smells like beer. A beer battered crab. And then Red realizes the crab only goes 30 fucking feet and he hops down. He's like, nope. Rather be fast.

Oh, why'd Red get down? as you head up the river you see that there are another pair of cave openings one on the east and one on the west of this crevasse about 60 feet up that are joined by a stone bridge and you also see the end of the canyon The back wall of the canyon houses a 150-foot-tall statue. Powerfully built, this stone giant looks out over the canyon and seems to pierce you with its gaze. Kneeling before the statue with their heads bowed, two stone giants appear to be in repose, their stone great clubs lying on the ground beside them. Hmm. Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters,

Adam Fry, Amanda Kitchener, Amy Gaza, Anne, Atholagoth, Cecil Lee Wilson, Cherry Rose Anderson, Christopher, Colin Burckhart, Crow, Casey, D.S. Dippity, Elizabeth H, Flynn, Gareth Bradshaw, Haley, Haley again, Harper the Marks, Indrid Hartley, Jekyll, J.D., Joy Robinson, Jory, K.R., KM, Cade, Lazzania, Last Ruth on the left, Leader J, Lizzie Demon, Lorelley Feldman, Matilda Rushing, Melinda Curley, Moon, Melissa, Merlin, Sam C, Regan, Ren, Ruth Ann Reed, Scotty, S. Ray 96, Tony Pepperoni, Zander Morning Dove, Zephyrus, and Zach House. Woo! For sure. Oh, my God, I just fucking deleted the crab. Sorry.

I, like, made a really, a really strong effort to try and not delete that. I'm starting a new tally. Alex deletes his token.