Dice Shame - 2-54 | 'Mental Giant'

Episode Date: September 7, 2023

https://www.extra-life.org/participant/INVICTUSImagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!https://www.extra-life.org/participant/INVICTUSContent Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It'll be pretty loud Yeah Bowls of spaghetti Pouring out of Jack's bag No, my library I knew you've been carrying pasta and not books I think they're gonna say something like We should help them find the car

Murray, hang back, hang back Ooh, oh, ooh, freeze! He clacker, clackers his claws And also this very sentient crab is here This is going good Kill the Tabaxi Drap! Shoot! Crab Doreen you in on this?

Sweaty and exhausted and defeated morally at the top Yep, uh, Mari, how'd you do? I got a 10. Perfect. You're barely faster than Jack. It's a race of the nerds. We're going to take on a thing and we can barely climb a rope.

This does not bode well. Welcome back to Dice Shame. This is Season 2, Episode 54, Mental Giant. MVP this week is Stuff and Such RQ, who's absolutely crushing all contenders in the fan art Olympics. They were mentioned last week during our shout-out for their amazing animatic that you can see in the description of last week's notes.

No, it was two weeks ago. Two weeks ago. Whatever. Thank you, stuff and such, RQ. You're this week's MVP. Extra Life 20203 is just around the corner. Join us on Saturday, September 23rd, as we stream for 24 hours straight in order to raise money for Children's Miracle Network hospitals.

This is our seventh year participating in this incredible charity event and we've got loads of fun stuff planned so you don't want to miss it. Check out our Discord for all the details or tune in on Twitch or YouTube to catch the event live. Donation details are in the episode description. All right. Should we do it? Yeah, let's play some D-D-D. Whoop-whoop. I saw a meme the other day and it was titled,

something like if you want a man to talk to you for the next four hours ask him this question and I thought well why not nurse all you're going to have to take so losers out here boys only I'll be over here in the back of the room oh yes I have tried but my ribs got in the way oh no um the context was I think that it was like a dating site so it was like kind of like an opener get to know you question but that question is what is the most powerful animal

you think you could defeat in combat if anyone has a hold on stop down guys hold on boy so unnecessarily gendered questions

for 100 Alex which is the question what is the animal that you think that you could defeat what's the most powerful animal that you think you can defeat. What? How do you make a guy talk for hours about something?

Oh, no. That was like the premise of the question being introduced. Oh, I got you. But I like that as a secondary question. I get you. I do want to start with Alex Nersal because she's the broiest one on the podcast. It was arm day yesterday. It's true. Eating ribs.

Yeah, just ripping away of them. Those tires in the background of your, uh, Animals are stronger than you think they're going to be. Like, you always kind of underestimate it. And you're like, I can take that on. You're like, I don't know, man, they got like claws and sharp things. You kind of like remove predators from it because they can rip my head off. Like even a small cat, like predator could eat my face.

Natural weapons. Yeah, yeah. My best bet would probably be either like a medium to large goat or a sort of medium to a small to medium deer. You took mine. You took of all of the animals in the world, I was going to say, goat, you bitch. Talk to the women in your life.

Find out if they could fight a goat. This is the gender divide. On the one hand, very strong, muscular animal. They got horns, they'll eat cans. They're like, they're fast. They're very mean. You said this came from like a dating site type of question. Yeah.

So I wonder, you know, like a lot of women these days are like, oh, I won't date a short man, a man under six feet. Sure. And then the guys should be like, I won't date a woman who can't fight a goat. That's fine. If you can't defeat a goat, if you can't defeat a goat. Don't date a woman not tougher than a goat. Don't bother contacting me. But meet my roommate.

You're going to have to use your wiles because it's going to charge you, you know? Yeah. That's the thing is that like they're fast. They've got hooves. They've got horns. They've got like bitey, bitey teeth. like they'll get you like how are you going to do it is the follow-up yeah oh my god what's your strategy i feel like i would spend a lot of time trying to like first tire it out without taking too many

hits to like my legs and stuff so sort of trying to like duck around it until i could eventually get it like sort of slowed down enough that i could get it in a headlock and then drop it so like basically go like like yeah like like high school wrestling on it and try to like get that thing just on the ground. From there, I don't know, do I have something? No. Did it kill it? Absolutely not.

Oh, this is just fists. Bear hands. It's just hands and fists and legs and stuff. All the parts of your body that you have on you right now. I can't leave the head but a goat. Yeah. I think I got mine. Mine would be a man.

Greatest proof. I think there is a strong case to be made that I could take a crocodile. Oh, no. I've watched enough crocodile hunter. That that's, you know, because you're not on a straight on fight maybe, like there's, but if you get their jaws shut, you can hold them shut. And then it's just rasseling. You're going to have to be able to choose the location, though, because if you like the alligator

choose, but if they're, yeah, they're choosing the location and I'm going to take a sip at the water and hole in the middle of the night. I'm fucked. I get that. We're going to all watch Rob die to a crocodile. If you choose the location, it's in a pool of barbecue sauce. grass and I have this image of Rob like walking up to a crocodile at all but just watching he's like don't worry guys I can't wait until dice shame goes to Florida I don't want to go to Florida I don't

I don't want to go to nobody wants to go anywhere but I'm just saying because if I had to go anywhere and see Rob fight a crocodile it would probably be in Florida dashing goes to the avaglades I don't want to but I think listen I'm going on the side of Rob I I I believe in Rob. I think Rob's got a point once you get those jaws closed then it's just the giant body you need to worry about whipping you off.

He didn't say how big of an alligator. That's true and he said crocodile but that's true. Whatever, they're the same. But for me, no, they're not. Alligator is a lot more docile than crock. Yeah, that's why I was like my croc. If you guys need a man to talk for four hours,

just ask him about the difference between a crockle. Oh, the gators are from here. They're rounded, bro. There's no. Listen, I just think that, you know, when it comes to, you know, wrestling an alligator versus a goat, I just feel like the scales are just so uneven. Like, what if you lose against a goat? Okay, so you get rammed in the face or whatever, right?

Yeah. But if you get, if you lose against that crocodile, fucking dead. You're like losing an arm or at least, you know? I'm not saying it's 100%, but I'm saying it's at least 51 or better to 49% in my favor versus the gator or crocodile and to be fair oh i like that in your favor versus the gator yeah and to be fair rob chose a much more powerful opponent right so rob's winning this competition right now well no because he'd lose it but he's winning the bigger animal yeah i would rather not lose how embarrassing though to see fucking rob go up against a crocodile and ace it and then we're like

all right it's goat time and we both lose just a really angry squirrel. That's my other, if you really had to ask me. I could go, what size dog is Louie? Louis is about 25 pounds? Was that small, medium large? I would call him a smaller medium dog. I could probably take on a medium dog. Yeah?

Yeah. At 100% win rate, you're? Yeah. Okay. Because I have one factor going for me that many people don't. I don't like dogs. I was waiting. Most people.

Like, honestly, most of people will be like, oh, I don't want to hurt you. I'd be like, come over here. Wow. No, I'm teasing. No, but like, that's why I was asking. It's funny, because I've often thought the same way. But I get to go. I'm not a huge fan of dogs.

What happened to you guys? I feel like when you're fighting something, it can't be something that you feel sympathetic for it. Yeah. Yeah, like I wouldn't be like this basket of kittens. Let's go. Exactly. Well, although how many I could take? How many kittens could you take a lot?

you say that though because dog came to mind for me too but i was like walking down the street and i saw this guy walking a pretty mean looking pit bull and i thought not if it's pit bulls in the mix then i i rescind my well they're a dog right and i guess a fight and medium sized dog you could fight like a like a large golden doodle i think it would be easier too because they're like smaller but it's a lot like are you going with dog too no no i'm not going to fight coyote because i honestly don't Down with the hound? Is that what... You know, we're talking about being in battles and, like, fighting.

And I actually considered, like, oh, man, if I got slashed by a knife or something, you just cover it up and you're like, okay, got to get to the... But, you know, I scratched my leg on the table or whatever. And you're like, ah, that really hurts. Oh, oh. And then you're like... The table's not trying to get you, though. And then I go to, like, lift something.

And I'm like, oh, this garbage can is so heavy. And it's like 25 pounds. If I was a 25-pound dog, I think the keyword for me is reasonable. I don't think I'd come out. unscathed. A cat, I could 100% take. But like, you hear stories of people dying because they get mauled by dogs all the time. Yeah, I mean, yeah, but they're

usually like big dogs. What's the biggest animal you could take 51% of the time? Oh, you know what? I could probably fight a horse 51%? Honestly, a polar bear. I could fight, I could fight a grizzly bear 51% of the time. I mean, it could always just die dead of old age.

So if we took a hundred Harlins from a hundred different universes and put them up against 100 grizzly Bears or polar bears or whatever you're... I've seen the edge enough. Oh, not a polar bear. So, I'm a black bear. Yeah.

Black bear, yes. Easy. Grizzly bear tougher. Polar fucking dead. Black bear easy? Yeah. Compared to a grizzly? Well, if I'd fight either one, I'd probably fight the black bear, but I'd still lose.

Yeah, black bear is way easier than grizzly, and grizzly than polar. For sure. It goes black grizzly polar. On the other hand, though, national park service for the state, there, if you get attacked by a brown bear or a grizzly polar bear or a greener, it's, it's, it's, grizzly bear, you're supposed to play dead. If you get attacked by a black bear, do not play dead. Scare it away.

Try and punch it in the face, fight and kick to the death. Yeah. Play dead for a brown or a grizzly bear. But a black bear will fuck you up. This is good information. This is good. I'm filing this away. I came across it the other day and it was not what I expected to know when I had to plan about fighting bears.

I knew that about bears. Yeah. Polar bear, just die. That's your only job. Just die. You are fucked. Let me tell you, if a polar bear comes, you are fucked. I think I've got it.

What do you got? What's your, what's your animal? Caterpillar. No. It's one of those poisonous ones? Is it at least a poisonous caterpillar? You know what I could take and it would be,

it would be wily? Because I still think I could take a dog genuinely. A fucking Canadian goose. Oh, there's such jerks. Yeah. I know. And it would be a worthy battle. It would be like,

okay. It's got air superiority. It's got air superiority. It's got air superiority. It's got reach. It's got big ass. The CR on a goose is like way up there. Yeah, but it's got a big neck.

Lots to grab. I also think they'd be funny to think of like what's the animal that you think you could take out but like would actually be harder because there's a bunch that are like... Gator. Honestly, honestly and I didn't want to say it, but goat. Fucking big goat with big ass horns. I'm sorry, but that's going to... They're like those fucking dinosaurs.

Oh, I'm not talking mountain goat. I'm talking like a farm goat. Baby goat. Billy goat. Like when you scare them and they fall off. Yeah. Screaming goat. Yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna win. Thank you. Fainting goat. Oh, man. My plan is to scare it and kill it. I'm gonna bring a pot and pan and I'm gonna bang them together and then that'll be it. No, no, no, not like a mountain goat, like a, like a, like a mean farm goat. Not like a little billy goat grog.

Not from the witch. That's what I mean. Yeah, I was it. I don't need black Philip coming at me. That's what I mean. He doesn't get to have big tall horns because then I'm just going to fucking go get eviscerated. You can't just gore me. Then I'm allowed to bring a knife with the fairly little lance.

No. No, you don't. You only get natural weapon. If you get a knife, then the goat gets a knife. Tie a knife to the head. That's right. I think maybe a serious, more serious answer. Just to just to throw different things out there might be like a small shark, like a shark, though. You know, because they've only got the one dangerous part, which is their mouth.

You're going to have to be in the water. How good are you at swimming? Well, I'm pretty good swimmer. But, like, you know, I just think... Sharks are like pure muscle, man. I know, but they're not always, like, great whites. I mean, they can be small. How long?

If you get them, if you get them by the snout, you can, like, move them. Are we talking, like, a six-foot shark? Yeah, maybe like a four-foot shark. You just, like, punch it in the nose with a... You got you dodging with a knife. I just... You don't get a knife, though, or else the shark gets a knife. Right.

Well, it's got knives. Little knives in his mouth. I mean, I think you could take out two dogs versus one. shark out. It's just putting in there. They're like all muscle. That's all they are. I really don't know. All they want to do is bite you. And they're slippery and smooth. There's nothing to grab. They just slip through, bite you, twist, twist, twist, twist, and your arm pops off.

Like, it's not, they're really, really. If we're talking reasonable, real, I think I could still face a raccoon. It would be scary as hell, but I think I could. Raccoon, you could definitely take. I get scratched up. Could you fight a snake? A big snake. What about a porcupine? A porcupine? Sure. I think a bever would be harder than one would expect because they are faster than you think they are. They are basically just big dense. You can fucking kick a beaver, no problem. You can just kick it to death. You can't just kick it. But it's true. You can't kick it. They are just jerks. So why? Kick it.

Dun-da-da-dun-dun. Beavers are dead. Stupid beavers. I should have prefaced this question with, I used to be a vegan for 11 years. What animal would you murder given the chance? Yeah. Speaking of murdering animals Yeah, let's play some Dungeons and Dragon See how long Kieran lives this episode Kieran, no

He's in trouble in he Couldn't take a badger Shall we do it? Let's do it Yeah, let's play some D&D. Excuse me Okay It's got to get into character

Coming out of the darkness of the caverns and tunnels of deadstone cleft Our heroes stand in the canyon River having spotted two stone giants up ahead seemingly motionless. Red looks up ahead. There is an entrance to the west, the area we want to go, but you said it's 60 feet up? It is 60 feet up. Red turns to the others. I mean, I could scale that and hang some petons and find a way to get all of us up there, or,

and he gestures to the cave entrance, which is sort of across the river to their immediate east, we could filter through and cross that stone bridge. Red. Jack hasn't broke, I contact with the two stone giants who are looking at us, right? Did you say they turned to look at us or have they not noticed us yet? Maybe I'm... They don't seem to have noticed you. There are these rivulets of water that are pouring down all over the statue of the stone giant.

And it's causing quite a lot of noise. There's like a waterfall. So the stone giant statue is kind of like almost stepping out of this waterfall. And there's a lot of mist being kicked up as well. I'm wondering if we have a better chance climbing up 60 feet. if I just hold on to this crab and the crab climbs. Does the crab of climbing speed? No, but it's super strong.

And I am not. I don't know, maybe. It'll be pretty loud. I mean, there are two giants down there. You said the giants that are at the end of this valley are in repose. They're like... They're kneeling. It looks like praying, maybe, to this statue.

Anyone who has been to the eye of the world recognizes this statue as... And I'm the old father. No. Yep. That's him. The stone bones one. Stone bones, that's right. The deity of the stone giants.

So they appear to be praying to this statue. Their weapons are on the ground as well, just lying in the stream. Hey, why don't we go up and steal a stone giants club? As I say, why don't we try and ambush them? Do they look petrified? Are their chests heaving with breath? They do not look petrified. These look different.

You can tell because it's daylight. There are slight movements maybe. They're not facing you, so it's not like you're seeing their mouths move or something, but maybe after a minute one of them shakes his head or like there are micro movements here. They're not talking to each other, are they? It doesn't seem like it. And do they look physically different than the other giants that we've encountered? Your passive perception's 20.

Nat 20, and I have a 600-foot view when I fire my longbow. 200 feet is nothing. Did you want a roll perception to see if you can get higher than that 20? Absa fucking lootly. Natural one. Oh. No. I don't even think there's a stone giant, really.

I think this is my cousin. We've seen so many statues. How can you tell the difference? I mean, look, if we want to climb, let's climb. And Red starts moving up towards the 60 foot drop. I mean, it's a direct route. There's no sense in trying to fuddle through the, the underhauls

when we know where we need to go I agree with you are you trying to be stealthy yes totally totally being stealthy everyone roll crab stealth okay oh my god for fuck sakes

there's two natural ones in a row for stealth no Jack Cage and without the benefit of pasta without trace yeah this is a three instead of that 13 I had last time like pasta without trace

pasta without Mari 16 just bowls a spaghetti pouring out of Jack's bag clanging down the hill there's fetichini everywhere no my library i knew you've been carrying pasta and not books pastas a reasonable way to record knowledge pasta without trace dorin 22 i only got a 13 and red's going to keep an eye on these giants as we move up i mean his he's laser focused on them as the four of you move to the base of this cliff preparing to make the 60-foot ascent. One of the stone giant's heads

turns. Freeze! Nobody move. There's an elf, a tabaxi, a Janassi, and a giant crab like frozen in tableau. She regards your party calmly.

Red does one of those animal head tilts. Slowly stands up and faces you. Leaving a club on the ground? Mm-hmm. Oh, right? red puts his bow away her head is tilted almost quizzically uh red tilts back i almost feel like they're mirroring their emotions like red tilts his head and she tilts her head and he tilts it the other way

and she tilts it the other way then he raises his hand and she doesn't she says something to her companion i now i have the observant feet who which means i can read lips from very far away if i understand the language and i speak giant you cannot hear because of the waterfall but you watch her lips move and you catch the words in giant how curious and red turns the other she said how curious her male companion turns regards you and also begins to stand up i wait a second just because i want to see if they talk again because that observant feed has never come into place yet in a meaningful way. And they used it once before.

I know, and this is fucking amazing because it's such a benefit to get to understand what they say. Do they talk any more in the next 30 seconds? I think they're going to say something like, we should help them find the conch. Maybe. We made dinner.

Come on in. He says, do they know they are about to enter the temple? And she says, back to him. It is forbidden. Okay. Hey. Red turns to the others and he relays what he just saw. What if we, like, threw up a big illusion that said, like,

praise scoria stone bones or whatever and giant, just to, like, show that we knew what was going on here? I mean, we could. Let's talk to them. Look, they're not throwing boulders. Let's do it. And Red, like, starts skipping across the water. One of the giants, the male, reaches down almost, like, nervously towards his club,

as you approach. And red holds up, I put up, I hold up my hands as well, and above them, the words, kill the tabaxi. Mari, hang back, hang back. All respect to scoria stone bones appear in giant. Well, now we're bluffing, though. It's just those words. All respect to them.

I'm not, I'm not trying to, I'm not, I'm not, I'm trying to communicate it is, we don't want to fight you. We're not trying to be, you know, give little ask lots. Yeah, the giant. share a look between the two of them that's quizzical but he doesn't make

another move towards picking up the club as you approach how close are you getting I'm gonna walk kind of like you would like to a rabid animal you know or like a wild animal

where you're like taking a step judging the reaction and like holding your hands up and red wool when he's sort of within I don't know I would get to where

they could hear me and then in Giant I would say we want to talk friendly say something like that in giant all of this conversation should just be assumed by the listener to be just a bunch of syllables

that sound like rocks falling down yeah Murray has no clue she's just she's hopped up on Doran's crab back again and she's riding along but she's ready to like pretend that almost like Doran's like a familiar rather than being like And also this very sentient crab is here.

It's like, no, no, no. So she's sort of like Pat's door and she's like, play dumb. Or play dumber. Despite himself, Jack can't help but get just as up close as Red, knowing that he can't run his way of fast, but, you know, talking to giants,

that's always his vibe. The male stone giant says, you are not with the barbarians? We are guests of the barbarians. Red says. Friendly with the... We spoke with the oracle at the pinnacle of the world. It's led us on a pilgrimage here.

Red, like, shoot you a look and then, like, kind of slowly pans his head back. It's more information. The woman says, You spoke with the Oracle, and yet you are not giant kind. We got giant hearts. Giant spirits.

Giant crab. Huge one. Do you want to see him? Huge giant. Red says, what is your name? Scarda. Hi, Scada. You and...

And this is Bildra. Hello. The two of you were praying? Red kind of asks. She looks up at this huge statue. Now brought even to more of an impressive height with you being dwarfed by its feet. It's like that scene in Lord.

of the rings when they're like traveling in that little boat yeah yeah yeah the kings of old or whatever kings of old exactly we come here for guidance guidance in what way the man says we pray that scoria stone bones will give us wisdom for the thing is not in her mind and red like raises an imperceptible eyebrow only jack catches it and red's like how so what ails your thing yeah yes redundant but yes

I want to echo yeah I wonder to participate meanwhile Mari's sitting back there just sort of like legs dangling over the side of Crabdorid not a single clue what is happening she does not speak giant

so all she hears is like wow I gotta give her a thumbs up behind my back just like this is going good I imagine Mari and Crabdoran are like sharing an apple like Mari takes a bite and hands it down grabs it with his giant thing and takes a bite and then brings it back to

Mari and it's like covered in spittled and slime. Yeah, she's just wiping it off. Just like, you know what? You keep it. Mari, from your vantage atop of crab Doren, you actually see that inside of one of the statue's eyes, there is a distinct glimmer. Some kind of something is lodged up there in the left eye.

Just something that you see while this is happening. Jam! She's just watching and keeps an eye on that and looks back down at the imperceptible conversation that's happening in front of her. How so? The Thane is using the ordaining as an excuse to wreak desolation upon the lands. Oh, man. Not all stone giants stand with her. Antifash stone giants?

How many of you here don't stand with her? It is hard to say. Ha, I get it, Stone. Speaking against her can prove dangers. We are here then for guidance. In your hope, what do you desire to happen to the fame? We hope for the will of Scorius to be enacted, whatever that may be. We are enacting the will of Scorius.

We've stood at the statue of Scorius at the spine of the world, and it's led us here. If we went to speak to your Thane, would you stand in our way? No. We would not. Would you stand with us? We will not. If you were Thane, would you stop the desolation on the people of this land? The female stone giant looks thoughtfully up at the waterfall-clad God. at this icon for a minute

and then turns back to you if it is the will of scoria stone bones yes but I have not heard a true word from the mouth of this God in all my years and now to have the Thane speak

so clearly on his behalf troubles me Would you be willing to not take up arms against the Thain, but to remove other giants that may be around her so that we may be alone with her? You will not defeat her. She is powerful and you are small.

We are sent here on behalf of your God. If that be so, then you will succeed. Ah, or... did the god put you in our path to help us? The male stone giant nods in agreement with you, Red. We were wandering down this river and came across you. You did not throw a stone and we did not throw one back. I believe that we are sent here on his will and that you are destined to make sure we get to that Thane alone.

Yeah! I ask you not to attack her, but to ensure that we are not disturbed and to remove other stone giants so that we may speak with her and deal with her alone. Those giants within the temple are certainly loyal. We cannot enter. Doren in his crab form sort of does a standing clawing into the air.

He stands up on his hind two feet. A war crab. And claws up into the air in sort of a way to say, you know, we're here and we're going to make it happen. Perhaps simply a walk around the mountainside with any who you could take with you might clear your heads and help you reconnect with your God. This may be so. Could you offer information about this area, the layout, or perhaps ways that we could approach the thing that might be advantageous to the will of your God? To the east of you, there are caverns that contain the barbarian tribesfolk. They are loyal to the Thane, tooth and claw.

This cavern to the west is our temple. Only the most fervent supporters of the Thane are permitted inside. And within, she communes with the Steinfang. What is the Steinfang? The Steinfang is that through which the deities can speak. Has that always been the case, or is this a new development? Since the ordaining, Thane-Kalithica has been speaking on its behalf. Does she ever leave the cavern?

Does she have quarters or something like that? She stays in the temple often. Does she sleep privately? in a room? Does she ever sleep? No. Is there any point that she's alone? Ever. We do not sleep.

We enter Olock Mora. Right. We saw some people in that. What would happen if the Thain was killed? To all the other stone giants here, to yourselves, what would you do? A new order would be evolved. Who would take over his thing? You would wait for your guard to pick, or someone would step up? We would await a command.

Usually, the leaders of this canyon are the greatest artists of a generation. If we were to camp here and read gestures to like a clear area by them, would you be able to protect us for the night? We could serve as sentry, yes. But it is mourning. Well, we might not need to nap right now. Well, there we go. We've got a safe place to nap, which is great.

A short rest if we wanted to. Is the temple just up there, and he points to the entrance 60 feet up? And she nods at you. And is the Thane just inside? Another nod. All right. Your Thane will be no more tonight. Oh, meta, though, do we want to rest before doing this?

Like, if it's just here, does it make sense to do a short rest? Might as well, right? I'm good to go. I mean, I would get my arrows back, and I've already spent two, so it would be beneficial for me. You've been in here for about an hour. All right. I don't need to, I guess, for me. If everybody else needs to, that's fine.

I'll follow the lead. I'd like a few hit dice. If we have the time and we have guards. But, yeah, but we also, how many charges do we have on the healing staff? If we're going to rest after, top us all up and let's get her done. But I would also get two arrows back. Yeah. Well, all right.

If we want to push through, we'll push through. It's entirely your call. There's benefits and detriments. I think we've had one encounter, and it's probably in the spirit of D&D not to stop and rest and be those guys. Okay. I'm with you, Rob. No rest for the wicked, says the crab man. Red comes back to the other and says, well, let's do this.

They're happy to help us, and we might as well get it over with. Yeah, because Mari can see Jack in the background standing their hands on hips and patiently tapping his foot, like a parent waiting for their kid to come out. But yeah, it sounds like you guys had a long conversation because Mario understood zero of it. Yes, they seem to be on our side. They're not happy with the Thane. I mean, they think that we'll die up there with the Thane, but I say we just go up. Crabs are blazing. That's in Thane.

Good. Very good. They're very religious. Apparently, this is a place of art, which is interesting for giants. Stone giant art. I didn't know that existed. As long as we can take her down and the others that are in there,

I think we should be good. Once we're in there, I'd beware of a thing called the Steinfang. Apparently it talks to the Thane, something. Yeah, I wonder. And Red sort of drifts off for a second. It makes me wonder who's behind this, almost like someone is poisoning the well, as it were. But either way, it's definitely something I want to look at when this is all done. Marie is sort of like, she's still sitting kind of on Doren, but then sort of like crouches down and leans very close to Red and just goes, there's something glittering up there in the eye of the statue. Oh. I don't know

what it is. Redcocks an eyebrow and looks casually. Can I see it with my natural 20 perception? Yeah, you're plenty perceptive and you've got good vision. With Mari pointing it out to you, you're able to discern through these jets of shimmering water

cascading down this huge statue. There is a strange glimmer coming from the left eye. Looks like an orb of some kind. Yeah, I see it. It's a bit of a gamble to try to get it before the feign. but I definitely think we could grab it after. Yeah, I can't use magic from this height to get to it,

but maybe if I can get a little closer, I could try to push it forward with the water. Jack talked to these guys, and they seem pretty happy about going on a walk. I'm sure they'll be the same after the thing. They won't really mind. So let's put a pin in that and come back and grab that thing after because it looks pretty precious.

Yeah, that's the least of our concerns. All right, well, I'm pretty much ready to go while Crabdorne is still crabby, what do you say we ask these people to help lift us up? Crabb Doren, you went on this? He clacket, clackers his claws in excitement. All right. Mari, I see you and I still have a couple of scratches.

Maybe that staff a healing of yours could help us out if we're going to face off a thing. Yeah. How many charges do you have left? Six. All right. I'll take a bit of that too, actually, if you're healing up. And as she does that, she also slips her hand into the bag and puts her hand on the sickle, because that gives me that plus two.

Heck yeah. Nice. If you expend the last charge roll a D20 on a one, the staff vanishes in a flash of light lost forever. I love that. Should I just blow through the charges? Well, let's see where we get at four charges spent. And like, 18 hit points to be full. I don't know what anybody else is that.

Yeah, who are you expending them on one by one? I'm 47 to 65, so I need 18 hit points to be full. I only need five hit points back. Oh, yeah, and I need 30 back. So do you first. Do yourself first, Maori. Put your own mask on before anyone else's. You can't pour from an empty chalice.

Can't squeeze blood from a stone. Crabdorin, any strategies that you want to run in and pinch, I guess? No, I mean, ideally my thinking is to try and grapple, Whoever I attack, you know, I'm thinking, like, big giant crab, two claws, grab them at the neck, grab them on the legs, and lift him above my head, maybe do one of those, uh, I wish I knew wrestling better. What's the one where he breaks the back, you know? Backbreaker?

Yeah. The one where he breaks the back, you know? Yeah. Or maybe that's Batman. Murray pulls out the staff and, uh, as it glows, she taps herself red and jack with it. And a little shimmer sort of appears down them. Nice. Chilly.

Cool. How many points of healing did you get back, Marie? I got back 27. All right. With how many charges? Jack gets back 12. Sweet. Right, gets back 9.

Oh, right. What about Crab Doren? I'm just kidding. And how many charges do you have left? I have one. One safety charge. Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do is it going to get? All right.

Well, let's do this thing. I'll go see if the Giants can lift us up. Red comes back with the giant and he says lift me up and when he gets up halfway he scampers to the top, hammers in a peaton and drops a rope. Great. All right

let's do it. All right. I love you pulling up my own body weight. It's very fun. I guess it's not the heights, it's the climbing isn't it? Yeah. You can make a climb check with advantage. Anyone who does not have a climb speed. And the DC is significantly lowered because of Red's

python and rope that you can take advantage of. Hey, noodle arms got me a nine. Hey! Yep, you climb up that rope just like gym class. Heck yeah.

Sweaty and exhausted and defeated morally at the top. Yep. And bullied. Come on. Mari, how'd you do? I got a 10. Perfect.

You're barely faster than Jack. It's a race of the nerds. Yeah. We're going to take on a thing and we can barely climb a rope. This does not Oh, well. Stop running up the hill.

It's just, stop showing off. I love the idea that these two giants are like, they're going to take on the thing. Crabbe Doran? That's going to be a 21. Wow. You're great. Yep, it sure is. 21.

He's just scaling carapace and up. Carapace. In short order, the four of you are atop this 60-foot ledge looking down at the stone giants, looking up at you, vaguely amused maybe, that you're going to be trying this task. And the cavern mouth yawns before you, heading west into the stone wall. Red will cast pass without trace, snap his fingers as it envelopes, and he'll take the lead quietly, looking around the corner. Mm-hmm.

It is extremely dark in this corridor, unlit by, torch or campfire light you can only see 60 feet ahead of you 60 feet why that's as far as I can see cram doran shut the fuck up slap up no crabdorin oh god the concentration yux the concentration out yeah oh hit marie knocks the concentration out yeah oh I hit marie actually red why red will lean in and start entering the passageway keeping a very close eye on the floor for any sort of tricks and traps with a passive 17 to investigate. Okay. The carvings on the walls and floor here are even more beautiful than you'd seen in the entire rest of this cavern complex, if that's at all possible.

Apart from that, you don't notice anything. And Red steps in. Trap! I mean, it would be the first time. Everyone else following behind? Jack's close behind also, you know, halfway obsessed with the architecture and what it means for there to be artistic giants,

but also scanning for any cracks or crevices or illusions or things that, you know, we might have used on others to trip them up. Fools. And I think Doran is bringing up the rear, as usual, ready to overtake his compadres and attack anything in front. Excellent. Yeah, and Mari's just sort of in the middle,

sort of closer to Jack, looking at all these carvings both amazed by them but also trying to see there's any kind of like arcane knowledge she can see it in a scene or like a pattern or something she's just sort of trying to observe them everyone make a stealth check please oh really

is this with 10 adding 10 correct that's right Mari 25 red 31 oh Jack 26

Doran 29 Wow you stealthy motherfuckers We're doing this We're so so quiet You've figured it out by now Little kitten paws

You got your velvet shoes on Yeah Stealthily you make your way Along this corridor It's about 40 feet wide 40 feet high And as I said

Completely pitch black Red continues Forward it's hard because it's kind of like a twisty turny corridor so you can't really fully see 60 feet ahead of you until you like round the bend do you know what i mean just around the river bend i look once more just around the river bend and you move into the darkness 20 feet 40 feet 60 feet it's unnervingly quiet red as you move move move east and then west and then east continuing south down this dark hallway begins to open up to a wider room to the west of you and then just on the periphery of your dark vision you see

a large shape a stone giant standing there you don't seem to have seen you but that's all you can perceive right now. You do hear a faraway grinding sound, as well as the muted pop of mud bubbles coming from somewhere below you. Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters Adam Frye, Amanda Kitchener, Amy Garza, Anne Atholagoth, Cecil Lee Wilson, Jerry Rose Anderson, Christopher, Colin Burckhart, Crowe, Casey, DS, Dippity, Elizabeth H, Flynn, Gareth Bradshaw, Haley, Haley again, Harper the Marks, Indrid Hartley, Jekyll

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Moon. Melissa. Merlin. Sam C. Reagan. Ren. Ruth Ann Reid. Scotty.

Sray 96. Tony Pepperoni. Zander Morning Dove. Zephy. And Zach House. Woo. Oh, grind on me, baby. What the fuck?

Jesus Christ. Oh, I thought for a second it wasn't recording.