Dice Shame - 2-57 | 'A Stones Throw'

Episode Date: September 28, 2023

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!https://www.extra-life.org/participant/INVICTUSContent Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's been 20 years, Jack. Drew it shit, yes, yes. I gotta get to the top of this precipice. Ten dollar word there for you. Banished. Everybody was oily. Hey, not bad at all. I'm sick of being stone.

I like the care in action, which is just getting brutally murdered. Notably so well lived. Oh, he suicide bombed himself, Doran. This is awesome. I thought it would be easier. Pajur, but you, me, me. Oh, oh. So we need greater restoration, poor Jack is dead forever.

Yep. You have that, right? Do I know it? Yes. Continue. Unless we used that spell. Welcome back to Dyshame. MVP this week is Jury,

nominated by Lita Stray. says, Jury has been an early morning episode drop hype buddy alongside whom I frequently squawk my excitement slash live blogging into the void. She's a real one and is a total MVP. Thanks, Lita. We totally agree. Thanks, Lita. And congrats, Jerry. All right, shall we do it? Yeah, let's play some D&D. Woo! All right, Alex, your turn for an intro. What do you got? Mine was lame. But I'll say it anyways. If it helps, we can workshop it as a group and make it better.

Sometimes the lame ones leave it open. Not to be selfish, but having good or intros are betters. Sometimes the lame ones make more room for just general conversation around the subject. So I was thinking, you know, I enjoy recording our Dice Fame sessions on Monday. Oh, good. But what is your favorite day of the week? okay all right fine let's do this let's fucking do this you know what fuck it let's do it we're at the bottom of the barrel welcome oh no welcome this is the bottom of the barrel

this is not what's your favorite color we've reached it there's nothing down here it's empty echo echo carlin what's your favorite day of the week oh man my favorite day of the week great question, Alex. It's probably Friday. Yeah? Why not? Okay. Why? Why is that? Oh, shit. You know what? I'm going to, I'm going to, I'm going to, it's probably Thursday. Oh, really? Changing it. Well, Friday's a little too easy, so I'll mix it up a little bit. Well, no. Maybe I was going to say Thursday. Well, suck it. Thursday, I think it's probably my

favorite day of the week. Yeah? Why Thursday? Why Thursday? It's a great question. Well, you know, it's close enough to the weekend, which is always fun. fun. Well, you know. But I mean, during the summer time, we have Henry every Thursday. And when we have them the weekend, that's Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday we have them. So four days in a row. So it's basically like a long weekend during the summer, which is just my heaven when we have Henry for as long as possible. Additionally, my hard work days are Monday and Wednesday. So Tuesdays and Thursdays to take care of Henry are a little bit more lax. So usually by Thursday, I've done on my. work during the week so it feels nice and Thursday nights are usually nights where we game with friends play video games and chill out and chat and I love playing video games with my friends so it's like a little kickoff for the weekend and a little party in the week nice yeah well that makes sense it makes sense it makes sense but yeah it makes sense it's good sense of it all

Anybody next? Also, it sounds great. It's also, it sounds great. Think about it. Monday. Tuesday. Wendniz day. And then you got Thursday.

Oh, you get that clean Thursday. Your weekday tier list. Okay, but I've actually like sat down and like ranked the days of the week. Yeah? Let's hear it. So like the case is Thursday is actually a better day than people give it because like Friday there's so much pressure to have fun. Saturday is like there's just a lot happening.

Sunday is a terrible day. but I'm like, Thursday is a good day. I'm appreciating the weekend we'll be here soon. Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Monday. I like Monday's more than Sundays. Oh, I hard disagree. I think Sunday's the worst day. Wednesday and then Tuesday is the worst day.

Sunday is like, oh no, fucking. The only good part of Tuesday is when we do day shame. Sunday sucks. So much at. Sunday is like a day that you put all your chores off to. It's the day. And like you're always working next day anyway. So like the last few hours of Sunday are always shit anyway.

You might as well be working because you're just thinking. about work. Yeah, but at least you could sleep in maybe on some Sundays, have a nice relaxed start to it, go have coffee, sit out back in the garden. No, you're hungover and constipated and everything sucks. People call it Sunday Fun Day. Why is that? Better than that work. I don't know if I've ever had a fun Sunday Sunday Sunday. I just, I always feel like it's like, I hate Sunday evenings. Early Sunday is fine. The back half of Sunday can go straight to hell because I'm like thinking about the rest of my week. And it's like. But to me, that's kind of my feeling. Like 12, on from 12 on on Sunday is so bad that it ruins the before noon of Sunday for me because

it's like although I do like Sunday because F1 is on Sunday so I get to wake up in the morning and drink my coffee while watching cars go room room so funny so you're a fun I do like I do love me some although you like fun yes this season's been so boring someone talked to me about F1 um no one wants to talk to you about F1 this is take drives off to the left and never seen again Bye, everyone. What about you, Rob? What's your favorite and then I guess least favorite day? I mean, for a long time, when I was like in high school-ish, it was Thursday because that was

game day and that was a lot of fun. Yeah. But I think like now, I love a Saturday. I think either you've got nothing planned and you get a whole day to do whatever you want with it to bum around the house or whatever, or you've got something in the schedule and you generally, you know, it's not happening first thing in the morning. So you get a nice slow start of the day, build up to go do a fun thing, have more fun than you expected. And then you don't have to do anything, you know, tomorrow you don't have to work so you can still have

the time to like recover or whatever. You know, like I think it just has that it's the, it's the best day. I think S tier as days of the week. It's pretty damn sweet. I think the only thing that turns Saturdays away from the best day for me is that there's always like a flip like, yeah, maybe three out of four a month are perfect. But then there's the one Saturday. Saturdays are also the days where you have to do a thing. Oh, you know, my sister-in-law is getting married. Sure.

You know, we got to move a furniture. Lots of obligations do end up on a Saturday. You know what I mean? So it's like a bit of a toss. It's like sometimes they're like the peak, but sometimes it's the day that you got to do the shit you don't want to do. I have to move a furniture. I have to visit my in-laws.

You know, the best, the best combo is the Friday night, Saturday morning. Because like if you work just like a Monday 9 to 5, kind of thing. That's your time where you're like, we're redefining it to now best 24 hours in a week. I mean, that's got the potential too, Friday night. And the cool thing about Friday night too is you're like, oh, you know what? Fuck it. I don't have to do it. I can be late drinking tonight on Friday because tomorrow is Saturday. It's not even Sunday. Fuck it. We ball. Not that bullshit day. I can chill out Saturday. Be sober by night. I'll give you Friday 3 o'clock to Saturday three o'clock is a pretty good day. Primo. That's the choice. Because even Saturday.

night is a little too close to Sunday for me. The fear's already setting in. It's already like, no! He says without working at 9 to 5 and not having to worry about it. Friday is unquestionably the best day of the week for me. Friday. I was born on a Friday. You were born on a Friday?

I was born on a Friday. Do you guys know the Monday's child poem? Monday's child is fair of face. Tuesday's child is full of grace. Wednesday's child is full of woe. Thursdays has far to go and Friday's child plays D&D oh no it's the long one and Friday's oh is it no because there's two more days after that all right Friday's child is loving and giving Saturdays child works hard for a living and Sunday is the blessed day who's bright

and Mary something gay Bonnie and Blythe good and gay I had gay right that's right there you are the important thing is that they're a homosexual I knew a fair amount of that you knew that was huge I'm sorry. I never heard that. So that's always, I always thought, I was born on Tuesday. I was also born on Tuesday. Thursday, it turns out. I just had to go look at it up.

Full of whoa. No, you're full of grace. Tuesday. I'm so fucking full of grace. You're just so gross. You got grace coming. The blessing. I just looked up a thing because I wanted to know what day of the week I was born on

and it was like, you were born on a Tuesday, but it says a person born on this day, if they'd saved a nickel every day starting at age five, then by now that person has accumulated $560.70. Oh, that's not that much. That's the saddest nonsense. You sound like my dad. If you were saving a nickel every day, you'd be eating avocado toast. From age five?

Why five? Do my parents not think to put a nickel in the nickel jar when I was born? Where are all these nickels coming from? I'm a millennial? What? And a dragon. But also, for all the reasons, everyone's said, work's done. You can put your feet up.

Friday is the perfect day where honestly you've put in a full day's work so you feel good about cutting loose when I was still drinking beer I would come home and have a shower beer which is the best feeling ever I love the shower beer and get ready to go hang out with your friends

and like either go sit out on like someone's backyard or you know go like start your weekend you know yeah yeah yeah no that's that's Plus, everyone is on kind of the same wavelength. So when you're at work, everyone's like, oh, it's Friday. Happy Friday.

That's true. That's the next week problem. Office job Friday agreed. It's the best because no one gives a fuck on a Friday. Something about a cold drink in a hot shower is really good. And actually, I read somewhere that eating an orange in the shower is supposed to give you a similar feeling. But that just kind of creepier. Interesting.

Yeah. There's like Piff everywhere. I don't need that. I'd be more into that than a beer. Shower orange. Maybe because of shower beer, you've got to have, like, a place to set it. Otherwise, you're putting beer on the floor. Well, yeah, most showers of places.

Let me just hold it there. Places, showers. Also, when you shower beer bong. When you eat that orange in the shower, you can be a messy boy. That's why I like. I like pretending I'm a messy boy. When I go in the shower, I roll play. I'm like, I'm like in prison and they're pouring water on me.

He's not joking. He really does. I'm shifting the question over. If you had to eat one thing in the shower, what would it be? Because mine is a mango, a fruit that if you eat it just like whole is so fucking messy. I would just be like, what? Harlan, you can't just be like, I'm going to eat that in that orange and I'm like I'm in prison. And then look at me weird when I'm like, I eat a mango.

No, I was, I was thinking about how slippery it would be. I was thinking about how it would probably peel. It's not a weird question, but it did bring back a really, like, not a traumatic memory, but I was I was interning right after high school. And I'm shared with my boss at the time. I'm sharing an office with him. And he starts telling me the story about this one time. he was, I don't know where in the world he was overseas at, but it was like, yeah,

I'd start every day naked and eat in a mango and then go have a shower because it gets everywhere. It was just like, dude, I don't know that I need this as part of our relationship. That's the definition of oversharing. It's a real intimate connection you're trying to make here. And I, you know, I appreciate that, but I'm going to go take a sample to the lab and analyze it or something because I don't need to be here right now. Like that show, naked and afraid, but naked and a mango?

Naked in a mango I'm so sorry I'm so sorry to bring up the second incident of new mango eating You know I think I've moved past it now I'm I've grown But at the time I wasn't ready to

But would you so you'd peel the mango And go in and just like eat it like a corn on the cob type vibe What if you put the corn on the cob holders Oh that'd be good I mean but mango skin is some of the most tasty part of it You eat the mango skin? Oh yeah You don't?

No It's good It's got all the vitamins and flavor and shit. I've been to Mango Skin Town. It's all right. Are you? I like it. Pull it funny?

It's not bad. Both Harlot and I were like, are you? Really? I prefer it. You prefer it? Look, I would be willing to buy that it's good, but I don't buy that you prefer it. Because it adds a little bit more texture. It adds a little bit of varied texture.

It adds a little bit of... Hold on. You prefer it with the mango. Yeah, yeah, you're not just... You don't prefer it to the mango. No, no, no, no, no. A bite of mango with the skin on. is better than a bite of mango

that's been removed from the skin. You know what? I'll try it. But not the skin by itself. Well, that's what I thought you were saying. I was like, I don't buy that. No, no. I wasn't saying like the mango skin is the better part.

Throw the big juicy, lovely fruit away. Fuck that. Just reach, buy a mango and toss away. I'm not a monster. Pineapple rind is far better than the pineapple. You know? Or picking that one. Just lie in your green bin is all I'm trying to say.

I will try the mango with the skin. I don't think I ever have. It's so bad. Yeah. It's just not good. I would eat cotton candy in the shower just for the challenge. Oh, no. It would help so fast.

But you would just try to have a bite. You'd have to dodge the water droplets. Okay, but the minute I say mine, you're going to change your answer. What's it at? A cone, an ice cream cone, like a full-out frosted dipped chocolate ice cream cone. I would just eat a frosted ice cream, like a chocolate dip cone you're talking? Yeah. Yeah, I mean, I eat that any day of the weekend and wear.

No, but you get an extra one if you eat in the shower. You get an extra one? Yeah, you get a bonus. Then I'm eating in the shower. Fisted cones. What's an argument? Do you eat it before the cone gets mushy? Well, why would you rather eat cotton candy in the shower?

Because you're saying I could eat one and then go in the shower and get another one? Yeah, but why would you be cotton candy in the shower? Just because it's fun. But like a full spaghetti dinner. Like you have to have a table in there and a Caesar salad and garlic bread and the full... I want a tomahawk steak in the shower. Soup. Bowl of soup.

It's endless. It's an unhinging bowl. Just shower soup at the end of it. It turns into broth and then water. Look, I keep eating and it keeps filling up. I want a handful of cuss-coos in the shower. I want a shower hot enough if I hold some rice in my palms. It'll be done cooking.

I want a boiling bag rice in the shower. Let's turn this whole thing into an oatmeal bath. We're going to do it. Fried chicken in the shower. Oh, well. Speaking of fried chicken in the shower, shall we take this? Should we take the Segway over to D&D? Let's do it.

Come along with me, everyone. Get all on the Segway trains. The show better open with everyone eating chicken. Why is it buzzing? Because it's the segue. All right. Seguin's buzz. Yeah.

Let's do it. All right. Let's play D&D. Well, that went places. See? Can leave it open. Good one. Good one, Alex.

Premium question. See, go leave it open. Red, you watch as the Thane, 40 feet above you, comes into view as she approaches this edge of the ledge, and she has another boulder in her hand. She growls at you. All intruders will be destroyed. I will wipe you from the face of the earth, just like I will destroy. All of the civilizations from where you are born. And she throws a boulder at you.

Oh, shit. Twelve to hit. Ha ha ha! Red, deftly, nimbly barrel rolls out of the way. Motherfucker. And laugh. I'm so excited to crush you. Yeah, that's her turn.

And he gives her the middle finger. Suck on this. Jack, from within the stony, confines of petrification, you can do nothing. Jack, do we have a brief insight into what's happening deep within the stony confines of your brain? This familiar cold nothing starts to like creep in inch by inch from shrinking the space in which his mind can operate, and so there's this crust on his skin and it gets slowly

smaller and smaller pushing his mind until this little core of a space that last living thing inside him before he's just rock. On a failed save, the target becomes petrified, and the giant can adhere the target to its stony body. You haven't had that happen to you yet. Greater restoration spells and other magic that can undo petrification have no effect on a petrified creature on the giant unless the giant is dead, in which case the magic works normally freeing the petrified creature. So we need greater restoration or Jack is dead forever.

Yeah. Marie, you have that, right? Do I know it? Yes. Continue. Unless we used that spell. No, I haven't used that spell at all. But here's the other problem is that I have to be able to touch him to do it. Yeah, you got to get in there.

You're going to have to take some damage. Boy am I. It's going to be hero shit. Mari, you watch as this stone giant picks up Jack and turns him into stone. What do you do? There's this horrible realization. She's already spoken about watching her friends die before. And there's this, like, deep dread that builds up within her.

And she also knows that she could run because she is the furthest out and she could just start running. But she sees Jack turn to stone and she can't. She knows that she can't. She can't bring her friends back. She can't fix any of the mistakes she's made in the past, but she can help a new friend here. She steals herself and she runs out over towards Jack trying to well up any last little bit of magic that she has within her to cast greater restoration. All right.

You get right up there and just lock eyes with this giant. And all she can do is just give like a tiny, smile and a wave because she's so little and just like this like reedy little blue thing just underneath him and she puts one hand on jack and starts to untangle the threads of him that are all woven into the rock to bring him back jack's eyes clear first and and start moving around and from there there's this like burn of magic as the stone crumbles and as the rest of his body emerges and there's a fire lit inside him. He's going to

fuck this guy up. Hey, buddy. How you doing? I'm sick of being stone. Didn't last very long, I hope, but... It's been 20 years, Jack. Everyone you know he's dead! Yeah, we've waited so long.

Well, you did everything in your power, I'm sure. The stone giant looks down at you, Mari, and then almost in confusion at this living pink creature in his hand and bellows a roar of anger that

shakes the very stones of dead stone cleft. Top of the round. Red, what do you do? All right. Red sees the lumbering thing just above him about 40 feet on the cliff edge. And he also sees the other giant that just

basically almost entirely destroyed Jack and he realizes he's got to act. So I'm going to to run away run away and call it a day goodbye see you later hey that was my move I think B was looking for someone swan dive into the mud below I am going to use my final magic arrow

I'm going to try to banish the giant that is abusing my friends Mari and Jack and not the Thane interesting no because banishment only lasts one round like sure the thing might be good but at this point I'm pretty confident and Red maybe even says this we gotta take out this thing, Doran. He turns to Doran who's maybe like 30 feet away.

He's like, we need to focus her down. Doran initially looks in the same direction that you're looking at the giant that just appeared in front of Jack. Yeah, I got to get to the top of this precipice. Wow, that was a big word for me. A $10 word there for you. I got to get to the top of this hill

and I got to face that thing head on. I'm going to try to use a banishing arrow. You can try. Yeah, so he's going to have to make a charisma saving throw. All right. Can I offer some help? Oh, shit.

So you can't. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? Mari has wheel and woe, which. Oh, Druid shit. Hey. Druid shit. Yes.

Yes. And it's woe this time. Whoa. I can't not do it. Whoa. Whoa. That's the best. That's the best part.

Cool. How does that work? again. Mechanically, I get to roll a D6 and then that will work against your saving throw. Oh, nice. Whatever number I roll that you get to take that off your saving

throw. Sick. Fuck yeah. And you're like right up against this guy. So in range. Boy, yeah, it's 30. I would like to say that I am definitely within 30 feet of this guy. By which I mean, she can probably smell like the back of his knee. Like, he's so close.

Smells terrible. He's like wild of all the places. Well, he's like 20 feet tall. It smells like an armpit, though. Yeah, but like his feet are right below you. But the back of the knee, it's so evocative. Yeah. Ew. Why don't you roll your D6 first?

All right. Come on, baby. Five. Whoa, that's good. Hey, not bad at all. Yes. That leaves a total of 11. Oh, sweet.

Not bad at all. Banished. That stone giant just. Goodbye. Pumps out of existence. A banisheda. Right before he goes, Mari, like, looks up at him,

and she can see red, like, in the dim light, like, readying an arrow, and, like, prepping for that, and can hear Doran using his word a day calendar to sound smarter. Yeah, precipice. And she looks up at the giant, and this, like, this, like, deep navy light

sort of appears behind her head, and she's like, what do you dream about at night? Oh. And the stars, normally it would be, like, little shimmering stars, they're all, like, black. behind her. And then red fires an arrow out and he vanishes. Neat.

Pissue. Hell yeah. Now's our chance. Let's take out the thing. And Red snaps his neck up and fires at the Thane. Do it. I picture you like holding your bow out and shooting your magic arrow

and then without even bringing your bow down you just correct your aim and your arm just goes straight up. Red casts hunter's mark on the Thane. eyes it down and fires 16 to hit sorry 17 to hit I always do that why do you add the one because I get an additional for giants I always forget the that I'm fighting giant you're just doing math bad yeah I do math bad 17 hits nice kind of my 17 misses I mean 18 18 18 17 19 what am I saying I said max in stone giant has she been

she has been she has been she has been was it screaming she It has been. 29 damage. Boom. Nice. Red, as your arrow sails up and hits the thing in the shoulder, you see her stony skin crack. And then with an echoing crack, one of the statues behind her takes a similar wound,

and a big chunk falls off of it, and it turns to dust and crumbles. Oh. Okay. Um I heard her And she hurt the stones behind her This might take a while What happens to the wound on the Thane

Does it like stay looking like a wound Or is it look It looks like she's taken some damage But maybe not as much as she would normally have Woof talk about stone skin I was just curious if it was like Taking the damage from And like her wound healed or something

Okay good And then Red for his movement We'll run over to Doran And he'll even like kind of open bag of holding be like grab the climbing potion from inside you're gonna need it and then on screven's turn screven is going to scree towards the stone giant thing it's a verb he's going to attack it is now he's like this squeak are they prone oh yeah it was the prone oh yeah everything everybody was prone everybody was oily stone giant everyone is prone

More like prone giant. Prone, covered in... I didn't pull that out last time we recorded a show. That would have been... I would have loved that, though, is like you have the stone giants and the fire giants and the ice giants and the prone giants.

They're just on the ground. It's just like a slapstick thing. And then you get the pawn giants and there's a bunch of gamers. Too bad we didn't really mess up that one that fell because then we could have said that we boned the prone stone. Ha ha!

We can still say that. Nothing stopping you. It's a free country. 15 to hit? No, you miss. Ah, Scriven, squeeze by angrily. Yeah, she swipes this giant great club at Scriven as he passes. Try it.

Scriven is invincible. Scriven has fly by, right? So she doesn't get a attack of opportunity. She does, but I think I'm going to have her annoy in a way. Because if Scriven can take the hit and pull a Kieran, and just one die, as much as it's a wasted spell, it's going to save us all the damage. So Scriven is just going to kind of harassing.

Saving an action is huge. Having Scriven try and eat up an action is huge. I know. I wish Kieran would do it more. Thanks, Joe, for making the bad guys eat up the Kieran action. Notably so well-lived and never gets touched. You need to get a barding. I like the Kieran action, which is just getting brutally moved.

Yeah, but the thing is, Joe hunts it down. Rob never throws Kieran as a distraction. Joe, like, fucking hunts it out of her way to kick a puppy. So it's not like, you would be hard-pressed to know that I used to be a vegan. So, yeah, Scriven hangs out there and just harasses the Thane's head, like kind of like flaps around it, pecks at a little bit, just kind of annoys it. Awesome. All right, Doran, your turn. Doran is

standing there reaching into this bag of holding that red is holding open for him and he's kind of holding it open and screaming over his shoulder at this bird to like attack and it's all very busy at the moment

and Doran's kind of rooting around in the bottom of this bag of holding and then he sees it he pulls out this potion of rock climbing and I imagine it's shimmering and it looks like rock walls or something

and he just chugs it back he throws it back actually they describe what it looks like and it sounds really cool it's brown silver and gray that resembles bands of stone that's exactly how i pictured it maybe you read it before but that's really weird because i was kind of imagining it like tigers eye yeah very much so and even shaking it fails to mix the colors so the question that i have is does this mean i can climb at full speed or is only half speed i can still climb it is equal to your walking speed for an hour basically oh okay for an hour okay great

Great. And you have advantage on strength, athletic checks that make you climb. So Doran is going to ascend this wall with great ease. Now, it's important that, as the DM you hear me out here, I stay like. I said ease. I say with like outside of what Doran would feel is the normal range for a giant to grab. me off the wall, he might be able to throw things down, but like I don't want him to be able to reach me at this point. So on my next turn, I'm going to move into attacking range for him. So I am, I guess I'm farther than, what does there reach? 15 feet?

15 feet. Okay, so I'm further than 15 feet down the wall. Great. Does that make sense? Cool. Smart move, Doren. You get about 20 feet up the wall. This is awesome. And I feel like, I feel like Doren's climbing. Like, you see the actors on a blue screen that are getting hoisted up and they're like, uh,

oh. He's like, it looks very authentic. He's just moving his arms. Look the way like vampires do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're Tony Colette in the ceiling and hereditary. Just scampering around in the silence.

Either that or like the old Batman and he's just walking up the wall. Yeah. All right. That's the end of my chair. That's the way this potion works. It doesn't actually help you climb. It just rotates the

entire world onto its side so that you're walking up just just for you. 90 degrees. It's very weird physics. Listen, it's magic. You can change the frame of reverence. Okay, I'm good. All right. It's the Thane's turn. She is going to do something that you all are going to hate.

Oh. God damn it. She points at the fossilized stone giant that is standing on the opposite side of the bridge as Mari and Jack and

fissures appear in its stony skin big hunks of rock fall away from its face and its torso and this statue essentially busts

out of a stony carapus and takes some thunderous steps forward sorry don't be don't be that's the game

destroy us I haven't even I haven't even made it a year Hey you know what We banish the guy That's a big plus Get some distance on this And we're good

What happens if they move somewhere And the other giant Comes back to that same spot It's such a great question That Harlan will have to tell me It moves to the next available square They explode No I prefer the idea that it like voips inside of them

Yeah And it creates just like this horrible Kronenbergian thing We're we're stock stuck together together Yeah, it just turns into like a... Bajur, but you're me, me. Oh, oh, no, no. This stone golem, let's call it what it is here, folks,

heavily walks over to Jack Page, favorite wizard. Yeah, lying on the ground still. Lying on the ground, even better. Are you prone? Well, yeah, I haven't had a chance. I haven't had a chance to act. I've been stone, I missed my turn. You made me back, and now I'm going to get stomped.

Oh, that's a good point. So what you're saying is you're just stone and lying there? Oh, that's a good point. The giant was holding Jack. So, technically, Jack is banished too. So Jack is now banished to him. I was like, wait a second. 18 to hit you, Jack?

Yeah, it does. No, I'm going to upcast a shield and use a second level spell. It misses me. Rock and roll. Excellent. Here comes a second slam. So he like slams down this big stony fist and you just... There's wild power pouring out of Jack's eyes as he's coming back from stone and just

right pissed off and losing control a little bit. And that foot stops inches from his face. I love it. The next one's going to take you, though, with a 26. Yeah, it does. Damn it. Not bad. That's only 14 bludgeoning damage.

I've suffered worse squishes. Baby stuff. Yeah, I maybe try to roll. out of the way and it stomps on my arm or something as I'm trying to squeeze out of its grasp. Sounds great. I always find the funniest thing about doing like turn-based comment is that in like

when I mentally picture it, I just imagine like this happening and Mari's just standing there with her hands in her pockets just waiting. Yeah. To get kicked in the teeth. Yeah. Oh, good one Jack. Good, good role. Good shield. Okay. I think I'll keep climbing in a second. Oh, Mario, you're

first. No, you first. You first. And then the stone giant phases back into existence at the end of its turn. Jack, you're up. Jack lying on the ground, squished by a stone golem, reaches over and grabs Mari's hand, and we explode. I knew you're going to do this. Brilliant. Both dead. I just thought it would be easier. He's suicide bombed himself, going?

Oh, that's how well. Time for new women. I mean, I just didn't think he'd take Mari with him. I mean, come on. That's so rude. Can they both make me a constitution saving throat? 100%. Ooh, go on.

Our statue friend got a natural 20. I don't love that one bit. But, so they take 14 on a fail and 7 on a pass thunder damage. And only a 14 for the stone giant. 14 damage on a fail and 7 on a safe. Yeah, so there's a big. whoosh of thunder as Mari and Jack disappear from the space we're in, and

it cavitates and the air rushes in cracking around these things, chipping stone off and bashing that golem, and we reappear up on top of the precipice staring down, Kealithica. Amazing. Nice. You thunder step up onto the

platform where the Thane stands waiting for you. She casts an intimidating figure over 20 feet tall, gripping her adamantine great club and staring you down, intruders. An expression of vile hatred painting her face like a mask. Oh, Jack, you could have brought us somewhere a lot nicer than this. Amanda Kitchener, Amy Gaza, Anne, Atholagoth, Cecil Lee Wilson, Cherry Rose Anderson, Christopher, Colin Burkhart, Crow, Casey, D.S. Dippity, Elizabeth H, Flynn, Gareth Bradshaw, Haley, Haley, Haley, Harper the Marks, Indrid Hartley, Jekyll, J.D., Joy Robinson, Jory, K.R., KM, Cade, Lasagna. Last Ruth on the left,

Leader Jay, Lizzie Demon, Laurel I Feldman, Matilda Rushing, Melinda Curley, Moon, Melissa, Merlin, Sam C, Reagan, Ren, Ruth Ann Reed, Scotty, Sray 96, Tony Pepperoni, Zander Morning Dove, Zephyrus, and Zach House. Woo! See how fucked I am.