Dice Shame - 2-59 | 'Seek After'

Episode Date: October 12, 2023

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!https://www.extra-life.org/participant/INVICTUSContent Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're Reds Rovers And I think we just saved you from the Storm Giants We're Reds Rovers, I like it I'll have another one, please A water Janassi, not cheese Janassi I don't care what you are It was touch and go Don't really understand the whole assignment

That'd be honest to you You should have seen your face Why am I on a skateboard? They can see eye to eye with each other Oh hey Get move over Stevie if you don't want to get hit by things I mean if you wake up in the portable hole You'll know what happened so

Well when you found as much gold and treasure as we have And red elbows him in the stomach I mean, seen as much as we have, because we didn't take any of it. It belongs in a museum. Yes. Museums. Welcome back to Dice Shame. This is Season 2, Episode 59, Seek After. MVP this week is Liz.

Liz was nominated by Lead Astray, who says, Liz is an almighty blood wizard slash scientist who brings the incredible power of dark lunch to the dice shame fan experience. This steadfast nighttime listener is a staple of the dice shame live blogging landscape. Liz is totally an MVP. We absolutely agree. Congratulations, Liz. You are this week's MVP. Congrats, Liz.

All right, should we do this? Yeah, let's do it. What do you think, Marie? All right, kiddo. Let's do it. So this rock gnome, this little creature, he's about maybe two and a half feet tall. And he's standing. Tiny.

Whoa. Is that how small rock noms are? Two and a half is like fucking tight. Yeah, this guy is the run to the litter. You're short. Even for me. That's like a two year old. Holy crap.

Are you all right? Hold on. He's like maybe three and a half feet tall. Don't go me on that one. He's like, yeah, I'm all right. Thank you. It's really hot in there. I can't even imagine.

How did you end up in Calythica's bag? How long have you been in there? It's been a couple of weeks, actually. No. What have you been eating in there? Yeah. Well, actually, I can create food and water, so I'm all right. You can.

Yeah. The question still stands. What have you been eating in there? He produces a grilled cheese sandwich. Whoa. Hey. Wow. Grill cheese?

Dorn like snatches it and eats it. Red turns around to Jack and Marr and he's like, you both need to learn this spell right now. I'm a water genassi. You know a cheese ginnassi. I don't care what you are. You're making these. This is delicious. I'll have another one, please.

That was my ration for the day, but I'm really glad you're enjoying. Oh, yeah. So good. And what's your name? I'm sorry. My name is Red. This is my best friend Jack, my best friend Mary, and my best friend Doran. Hi.

I'm Elster Noggins. Elsa Noggins? Elster. Elster. Greetings, Elster. We're Reds rovers, and I think we just saved you from the Storm Giants. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Reds rovers. When did that come up?

I don't know. I just thought I'd try it out. You kept trying out names for us as the one I thought of it. Yeah, I kind of like that. I like it. Yeah, we're Dorans for some. What? Hold on.

Doran. We're having sex with Doran. Doran's for some. This is making things scary. We're Menage at Mari. For Mnage of Mari. Yeah, sure. I mean, we're Red's rovers.

I like it. Let's do it. Red sticks his hand out and shakes this little stone gnomes. Rock gnome, yeah. Yeah. I mean, he blends in really well with the surroundings if it weren't for his bright red little jacket. that he's got on and some pink trousers. Rock.

No. Jacket is very handsome in color. Thank you. Wow. Very much. So, listen, I'm from Loudwater. Oh. Thank you very much for dispatching the Thane.

Hey. That I wouldn't have been able to do. In fact, I have just been kind of biding my time, and he looks up at the stalactite behind the four of you that's hanging from the ceiling in kind of a worried manner. What's up with the stalactate? Ha ha, I get it. Very good, both of you. He looks up at it and he says,

she, well, she converses with some kind of deity, I think. She chisels questions and there are answers, and she said she was going to, she's going to figure out whether I was going to be any use to her. The Steinfang. That's it, Red points up. I guess so, yeah. I guess the name is very literal. It looks like a fang.

I can see that. I mean, they all do. Oh, interesting. There's some script carved into it, for those of you who speak giant. The following sentences, if you sort of travel the circumference of this hanging stalactite, you can read them as they wind circuitously around this hanging rock. And it says, what must I do next to please you noble father? Do the dream creatures pose any danger to us?

Are there any traitors in my clan? Can these puny barbarians be trusted? And is the gnome lying about Loudwater's defenses? Whoa. Do the dream creatures? Hey, hey, I've been having dreams, Red says sort of in a hush tone to Doran. Hmm. Do you think, uh, you think the dreams are like kind of

are there answers to these questions also carved well no uh oh that's why she waits so i guess it's every new moon she said she's going to wait and find out whether i was being honest with her can you read that oh yeah yeah it's um what of them what did you tell her about loudwater well she turn tape over oh that's a dated reference thanks for those of you You listening who are born after 2000, audio used to be recorded on magnetic tape. I was captured by a stone giant and brought to Elythaca. Well, I'm a little embarrassed to say now that you guys seem to have dispatched her so readily, but you're very powerful adventurers.

It was touch and go. You may be stuck in that pouch didn't see how close we came. We're a little bit punch-druck at the moment. Let me tell you. Yeah, there's some luck there. Yeah, we're the best. To save my own skin, I guess. I told her I would tell her about the defenses of Loudwater.

I'm ashamed of it now, although I did try my best to make it seem like a really imposing city and that it was going to be super tricky for her to take down, as it were. Hmm. Hmm. See, we're lying about Loudwater. That's strange. Well, yeah. What do you mean?

Well, just she was wondering, so it sounds like she, I mean, you must have tricked her enough to at least get her asking a question to the Steinfang. Well, it sounds like you guys came in the nick of time then, or else I could have been toe jam. Yeah, I mean, we haven't ran across anybody who escaped the stone giants, even by attempting to bribe them with information. That's quite the feat, little one. Well, I pride myself in my intelligence. I'm actually an inventor. I have a shop in loudest. Water, if you can accompany me back there eventually, bring me back to my home.

Absolutely. I would richly reward you. Yeah, certainly. Yeah, I mean. For sure, maybe. I can get you back there tomorrow, probably. We could. I mean, join if you'd like, Jack.

Can I roll insight on this guy? Sure. 17. Uh, he seems genuinely pumped that you guys have come to save him. Uh, he does. definitely looks like an inventor to you. Seems to be honest. Ah, cool.

Yeah. Well, I mean, we'd love to check out your shop. What's the name of it? It's called Elster's knick-knacks and kebabs. I sell kebabs also. And snacks, that's incredible. Yeah. You have been sold at kebabs.

It's like, it's like, like, tinkering stuff and also, like, meat on a stick. Also a shworma place. honestly it sounds wonderful i i can't wait to get back to loudwater you're making me more hungry oh no i i i don't have any more instances of create food sir wharf the name's doran right your friend said that i'm sorry no don't be i'm just telling you i i introduced you yeah i know i know i just i i'm not great with names either he's not um elster thank you yeah i'm not i'm not great with names either so that's okay Loudwater, eh? So, how long have you been there?

The last 80 years or so? That's a long time. Yeah, I'm an old guy. Yeah, you don't look it, though. How old are you? You're so little. 312. Wow.

Whoa. Your skincare routine must be amazing. Thank you. He looks terrible. Hey, give us just a second alone. Why don't you go over there and check out that pile of rocks? This pile? Yeah, wanders away.

Yeah, red turns to the others. Is anyone getting a read on this guy? No, I can't read Giant or Nomish. No, no. I mean, like, his overall demeanor, you know? Like, is he trustworthy? I mean, seems odd, right? I mean, he's more chipper than I would be had I spent a couple of weeks in Keolithica's pocket.

That, I'll tell you. Yeah, smells in there. Here's my read. He seems totally trustworthy. Like, I have no reason to doubt him. And yet, I also have to be aware that he tricked the thing into thinking, at the very least, he was worth keeping alive. So I might not be smart enough to know that he can't be trusted, but I'm smart enough to know that he tricked her. And Red Lake points down the dead stone landing by their feet, which means maybe I shouldn't, at the very least, trust him.

And I feel like that is the logic that I can follow, because... That's a fair deduction. Let's just get out of here alive and sort it out later. Maybe he'll make us some more grilled cheese sandwiches later. Doran seemed to enjoy that one. Yeah, that'd be great. I did. It was delicious.

It's probably the best thing I've eaten all month. It makes you strangely thirsty, Doran. Yeah. He poisoned it. Except it was a little bit salty. With salt. Say, speaking of, I want to find that big beer keg that we passed earlier. I mean, well, we got to think about, and this is maybe critical, like, Red, how do we want to go

present the information about Kaleithica to those other giants out there. Well, I mean, look, there's people out there that clearly don't want her in charge. They're going to be happy to know that she's not. And I think I sent Scrievin out there to get their attention anyway. Yeah, like, smash cut to a blood hawk circling around two stone giants, and they both have their clubs out, and they're like taking swipes at the hawks, easily dodging them. He's like, put some seed out. I'll give you yes or no answers.

Come on. How come you don't get it? Why are giants so dumb? So they should be back any minute if Screaming does his job, her job, their job, its job. Look, I think it makes the most sense to let this all play out

the way it's going to play out. I don't imagine all the stone giants are going to be happy that the barbarians are here. Let's just sneak by and try not to cause too much of an alarm. Yeah. We don't want to put a new ruler in charge. That can't be on us.

I say we loot and get the hell out. Yeah, I agree. But isn't that also what we're doing? Putting someone new in charge And then the whole thing here, the ordaining It's not up to us to choose who to put in charge I don't know. I don't really understand the whole assignment

I'd be honest with you. What did we do with Grughog? Um, I mean... Oh, Grudhog, we had destroyed their base. She fell into a pile of pig shit and died there presumably and then you guys just pieced out. Yeah, no, but we, we disrupted the dam.

Yeah, you blew the dam, that's right. You actually destroyed Grudhog. Yes, but I don't get the impression that Stone Giants are decimating resources in the same way. Well, recall the siege of golden fields. That was hill giants.

That was hill giants taking food. Yes. So regardless of the genre of giants, they're all fucking with the small folk. Look no further

than Elister Noggins who was stuck in a pocket for a while. Do it for Elester. Wait, do what for Elester? No, no. We can't destroy the stone giant fortune.

It's not the same as growing up. This is a very different place too. Like, it's in that it was here before Kealithica, I think, is the vibe I'm getting. That's what I mean. Like, I think killing the Thane and letting them sort it out makes more sense than trying to find someone to replace them. Yes. Yeah, no, I would agree.

It's not a, I don't know. This is where it gets to a weird level of, like, do we want to start fucking interviewing Stonejoyants and be like... To be fair, if you guys want to hold, like, elections, just let me know and I can prepare something, but I don't have that. The whole by-legent. Well, like, Mari and I can head out there. I can tell them what's up, send them in here. That will give us a moment to snatch whatever is in that eye, you spotted, Marie.

I can just scale up the side as long as no one's there to watch. Good point. And then when they're in here, you know, maybe they can shed some light on him. Do you know this guy? Through slitted eyes. Alistair's like full out sitting on the ground, like looking at a pile of rocks going through each. I don't know. Look, look, look.

Veranda got turned to stone when she came across. Stone Giants. He telling me this guy somehow convinced them to bring him back to the leader with just talking about loudwater? He's not even the mayor. He's like somebody who owns a shop. That doesn't seem weird to all of them? It doesn't seem weird.

And like the fact that he seems unharmed tells me that he's... I'm not saying he's evil. I'm just saying, look, he's clearly smarter than me. I think he's more... Oh, I see. Okay, I see what's threatening red. Do you guys remember the child mayor of Rasselant-Tar? Yes.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, there was a kid. I'm in charge. I'm the mayor. I'm the bear. Go on. I forgot about that. Maybe Doran and I and

Alistair will wait in here to see if there's anything we can make out of the rest of the scratches. I want to see if we can find any answers. Yeah. And I'll watch his hands to make sure he's not doing anything finicky. Or what's the word I'm looking for?

Who me or? No, not you. The gnome. Yeah, watch Jack, Doran. I don't trust him. Maybe he's already got the whammy put on him. Maybe the minute Elister's hands were free, he cast something

on the wizard. Maybe he's really the Thane and he was just controlling the giant. Oh. Maybe the Thane was a giant puppet. Look for strings. Right at this point, your hunter's mark falters and fails. The giant that was in the mud has died now. That's awesome. Oh, also that other guy died. Look over the edge down into the dark at the bubbling mud with nothing on the surface.

He held on for a while. Oh, yeah. Well, good riddance. All right. and I will go outside and send the other two in here. But clearly, Screamin's not doing a very good job. We'll search this cavern good, see if there's anything else, and then get out of the Giants' way when they come in here. Cool.

Hey, and even if nobody wants to use that weapon, we should take it because it's got some serious whammy potential. Yeah, actually. Stick it in the portable hole. Yep. Sure. Jack unfolds the hole from his pocket. It starts as a handkerchief size,

and pretty soon with a couple of folds, becomes a 10-foot circle, and he loads the club down into it and folds it back up. I'll see you soon, my love. Alistair wanders over, and he's like, what is that? It's a portable hole. You can just put it on any surface, and it makes a nice big hole in extra-dimensional space.

It's pretty cool. Don't go in there. Yeah, but anyone who touches it, that's not us, immediately disintegrates. Tell me more, and he, like, sits down beside you to get the finer points of this magic item. Ah, Red walks away. He always tells too much. He just gives everything away. My mom made it, and you can tell it's Elvin made by the stitching along the edge of the whole.

hole. His mom didn't make it. It was all for me and he took it. It's always about the hole. He's so full of shit. Don't listen to him. Oh, Mike, you have no idea. Let me tell you.

Let me tell you all about the hole. It's always about the hole. And I'll tell you about the decanter of endless water too that he snatched and gave away. Outside, the two giants are, one of them has got a palm out and screven is perched on top of it. Pecking at seeds and the two giants are just shaking their heads at each other. Howdy? Red says in giant. Yeah, and Murray just waves because she knows she's just, she's going to be just blind for the next little bit.

Has the Thane been deposed? Yes, if that means killed. And what are your next plans? Hey, look, we were sent here to fulfill your God's demands, and that was it. However, I highly recommend you go in there and say your peace to the body before it parts this world. we remember hearing rumblings of when we were sent by him and read gestures up to the statue forgetting the name

that the people who were destined to be the true change of the stone giants were meant to be there just after the Thane's demise or something along this line You mentioned earlier that you were in league with the barbarians here oh well that was a bit of a you know hey listen when we approach you we weren't entirely sure one way or another if you were like the Thane in there willing to attack us

but no the long and short of it is we're out of here now we're done we're going to do a quick sweep to make sure we didn't leave anybody behind and then we're out we will be emptying this place of them I think that's a smart call they're brutal vicious creatures the barbarians you know they're they're terror and anyone who knows about the barbarians equally

terrible people. B, B, B, B, G, G, just let me tell you through this. Jack's not here. I feel so good not to hear his voice in my ear right now. I thank you. I thank you for your help in this matter, but for your own safety. I must recommend you leave this place as soon as you can. Oh, we will.

My friend here's hurt, so, and Redd just like in common is like, Mara, you hurt. Oh, my leg. She just needs a moment to rest Flops a little bit Yeah Yeah oh she Well we just thought

Calming in the rivers of the god That sent us here for a moment Just to take a respite Would help her Legg heal Red Lake looks down at your leg It's just like No she's just like a like one leg

Like oh no She sort of moves a bit And just drags it behind her But even though she was clearly walking It's a real exaggerated Red like takes his claw And like stabs it to the back of your leg a little bit and like twists, so it, like, actually hurts?

Why? Why? Uh, yeah, they nod at each other. They don't seem to really care about Mari. And then they pick up their great clubs and begin to walk south down the river without a backward glance at you. Couldn't have sold it a little more. You could have, you could have just pinched me or something.

You didn't have to. I did. It's going to be a hole in this and she uses mending to fix the hole, like, where he like, poked her clothes. Oh, wow. I guess that is a good spell. Kept back to Elister and Jack. Alistair is inside of the portable hole now, like looking at the stuff that you have.

No, no, you got to get out. I got to fold it up. Close it, close it. We got to look at the rest of this place. Can I just, this is so, I've never seen anything like it. Here, let me give you a hand out, and we'll talk about it at camp later, but this is still the middle of a very dangerous spot, and you're a little nonchalant about it. I thought that was kind of fine, but now it's getting on my nerves, too.

It's fine. I mean, yeah, all right, just give me your hand. And he reaches up. You can see him deep in the depths of your magical hole, like hopping to try to catch hold of your hand. I give him a quick pat down to make sure he didn't steal any of my books. And I... He likes it.

Fold the hole back up. I've been so lonely. Excuse me. You've been close to Calithica for a long time. I get the... I missed human titch. Doren watches that. Does he know him get out of the hole?

And he says, uh, listen, uh, I hope you don't mind our tabaxi friend there. Listen, he used to be an assassin Who was trying to kill me So obviously he doesn't really trust anyone he meets You know So We can tell you more of our secrets too

Do you want to What else? Oh man I love that juxtapose with Redbyn like They always tell He always says too much He always gives everything away So you're from Loudwater

My bank numbers are 212 You say you're a prince Fine, you're right You win I get it I taste of my own medicine. Yeah, that's all I want from that scene, I think.

Back to Red and Mari, so you're scaling up this waterfall? Yeah, Red's climbing up halfway and he's reaching. I can't, look, it's smooth water. I can't grab beyond the nose here. Murray's sort of at a distance, and she casts shape water, which creates like a small little blob of water that then freezes. Nice. Oh, just a little handholds.

She just from a distance gives a thumbs up. Cool, thank you. Yeah, and Redd. uses the ice handhold to get up the last little way, and reaches into the eye socket and removes whatever's inside. There is a crystal ball embedded within the iris of this stone giant statue. It prides away fairly easily at your grasp. Red pulls this thing out. What color is it?

It's an orb of granite, but it shines in the sun like it's made of some kind of rare jewel. Yeah, and Red pulls it out and sort of just looks at it for a second front of him. He's like, wow. And then he turns around with one hand still holding the rock, and he's like, Mauri, you have to see! And the orb falls from his hand all the way down to the stone

in front of the statue and smashes on the rock into like a million different pieces. And Red's like, oh no! And then the minor illusion he casts, and he's like, and he pulls up the real stone. Come on. She just had tucked into his chest. You just seen your face.

You just seen it. I was like, she's prepping like a spell to like stop it and it just shoots through like the little geyser. She's created trying to break the fall and she's like, what? This should have worked. Slides down with one hand and he hands her the stone. Your face was priceless. You draw a picture last longer. I don't have to.

And he cast minor illusion of Mari's face. Which she had lost it. Just reds character It's just like And she's like No And he's like I'll look at this tonight

Why am I on a skateboard Why am I at the beach I don't know It's how I was taught There you go What is it Can I do like an arcana check Or

You're holding a magic item You can just tell Whenever you're holding Something that is magical It's got this Yeah It's not electricity But there's a buzz

Something Strange about it Yeah You feel that in your hands As you hold it But you would need to a tune to this item to be able to figure out what it does. So now you are in possession of not one but two magic items whose identity you will have to ascertain with the short

rest. Marie, between you and I, this is yours, whatever it is, Red says. But just in case they, I don't know, have some sort of significance, let's throw it in the bag of holding until we leave. And plus, you're returning to that other thing anyway. Yeah, she's got a rock tape to her head. No, I don't know what a tuning looks like. No, she's got it in her pocket And it's just sort of bouncing around in there But yeah, she gives it back to red And she just chucks it into the bag

And she hears like a horn honk A sound of an accordion Just a chicken flies away Every time Oh, that's honky Pigeon comes out Stevie squeaks Oh

Move over Stevie if you don't want to get hit by things Anyway, I don't know You know, we took this thing from their god's eye They might care But oh speaking of hand me that stone over there and red light just gestures to like a nearby stone Oh, all right

And Maria chucks it over Thanks Cast your little ice on this so it looks shiny as well And so yeah she does cast Some shape water around it to give it like a sheen Perfect I'll put this bad boy back where we found it And just in case red climbs back up

Shubs a similar looking stone that now has A similar looking sheen on it into the eye hole Excellent I hope he remembers that ice melts yeah but we're in the far north and it's winter all around oh yeah yeah i mean there's running water but whatever who cares cool hey i used to be a thief that's another story red slides back down what apart from the treasure that calithica was carrying the steinfang and the statues whose likenesses you have already seen in many other chambers there's not a ton of like

secrets to find or specific details to investigate in this room. So what would you too like to be doing when we come back on your scene? They said something with the answers appear in the next new moon to these questions or something. When is that? Five days from now. Jack's like got a stick and he's and he's doing all these calculations on the on the dirt ground. Yeah. I wonder how detailed the answers are going to be. Because like the only question on here and Jack is pontificating to Doran The only question on here that I think is really fascinating, like is this one about dream creatures. Yeah?

Because, you know, I don't necessarily know what Scorius wants to tell you. I don't care. I don't care if there's traitors. I don't care if the barbarians can be trusted. And, you know, we already know Elister was lying about the defenses. It's just about the dream. Yeah, dream creatures, yeah. But I don't know that I want to wait five days, especially not with your mom like she is.

No, mom. What would you say? My mom. Oh, no, I get it. I've talked to Doran for a while. I understand when you're a soundboard and also thinking about beer. Elster is like scrambling down these steps to try to follow Doran around the room a little bit just to kind of see what this dwarf is all about. But they're 10 foot ledges.

So every one of them is a separate journey. He's taking so much damage. I imagine he and I are both trying to follow Doran. Because I don't want Doran to get too far away where it looks like I'm yelling at him across the room. It needs to be a comfortable conversation distance as I talk to him and he doesn't listen to me. So there's that element of like being led somewhere just because he's going there and I don't want to be alone here. I do that all the time in this house. So I'm sort of trailing behind Doran at a comfortable distance.

And if Elister needs like a boost down or a hand up or something, away we go. And Doran's staying in front of the stone statue that's still. standing in the room and he's inspecting it. Absolutely roll a stone cutting on these statues. I don't think you have. Listen, we're all here for the stone cunning rolls. Let's just fucking, if we rebranded now, Dyshame would be a thing of the past and we would call this stone cunning.

So I'm in. Honestly, kind of a great band name. Honestly, not a bad name. Red and the stone cunners. Wait, sounds different. I liked Doran's fours some more than that. Stone cunning linguist. I was going to say.

It's going to be a 15. 15. Doran, you can tell based on the way that these statues have crumbled to pieces, that they are actually dead fossilized stone giants. Yeah. I don't know. They don't look carved. I think he walks up and he touches them.

You know? if I didn't know any better I'd say they weren't carved at all or natural it looks like they were uh looks like there were once giants and they've become and he sort of knocks on it maybe it's a bit hollow sounding yeah I guess it reminds me

of a story I heard once a old giants never die I guess they just turned to stone here yeah did you want to roll a history or something I feel like that's jack's proclivity at this moment I'd love to 18

Jack you've heard of something called Astoria. Maybe you read one book one time that mentioned it. So you don't know a ton about it, but Astoria was the giant empire that existed at the same time as the dragon empire, basically. They were like two forces that were ruling the world in constant competition with each other.

And these fossilized stone giants may have been part of that empire many, many ages ago. Wow, this place has been here a long time, Doran. Yeah. Like, it's almost as old as the dwarves are old, you know? Like, it's got some real history to it. I'd say. So what do you think that these were once giants?

And then they just, like, fossilized or something? Yeah, maybe. Huh. Maybe other thanes or something that just retired and, or, you know. Well, if you notice those three, any points around the room, they crumbled when, you know, when we were attacking the stone things. Giant there. Well, they're directly linked.

I wonder if she was feeding off some sort of life force. Ugh. He sort of shudders as he looks up. Yeah, I mean, I bet Keolithica was pretty well connected to him. That's kind of creepy, eh? Interesting. Red and Mari, you enter back into this dark expanse, into this huge cavern. And you don't see them anymore.

They're too far away now. I can hear Jack mumbling away somewhere over in the distance. I don't think Dorn's responding to him right now. I don't know, it sounds like... Now he is. You're talking about stones. I think I hear them over there. Let's catch up.

Yeah, wander back over. Oh, hi. So, how did it go with the cooperating giants, we'll call them? Oh, it was great. They're on the way in here, I think. They wanted to deal some damage to the barbarians, so let's steer clear. Yeah. And we got our little and red taps the bag of holding.

Well, Marys. But we also replaced it just. in case they got curious. The crystal? Yeah. We don't know what it is yet, but I think it's powerful. Yeah. It is stone.

Oh. It's not crystal. Stone, ain't. But we're not going to take it for granted. Are Scardra and Bildra coming in here? Where did they head? I don't know. I thought they were, but they didn't.

They're probably coming in here after us. They must have taken the long way around. Well, what do you say? We go that way, and Doring kind of points south. Yeah, let's take the Luton Trail. He sees a barrel just past where almost where he can see. Ooh, barrel.

And, uh, says, I wonder if that's more of that beer. I'm going to check it out. And he, he kind of runs off very excitedly like a little kid. He's like that. You can see you. I assume that, um, Elster is just watching him do this. Um, I think Elster's really taken a liking to Doran. Maybe because they share kind of a similar statue.

He's, he's quite a bit shorter than Doran. They can see eye to eye with each other. And he's like, he's like skinny and I'm thick, eh? It's cute That tall, small vibe Do you like beer? He says to Alice too Yeah, for sure

Oh, we'll wait till we try some of this beer I hope this is beer You know, I really like beer There's a beer over there In the other cavern But I hope this is a beer In here too Isn't we can get some of this beer

Maybe there's a different kind of beer in there Then we'll get two different kinds of beer I love that you're so beer motivated Well Yeah, I am No shame in that Cool, we all head south along the perimeter of this room

towards a tunnel that leads south kind of echoing from down the tunnel you hear the sounds of combat oh oh that might be our giant friends over there I feel like maybe good to steer clear

yeah that's probably a good call hey uh elister do you have a weapon on you uh I don't but I have a couple of spells oh oh you're a magic person Well, yeah, how else did you think I made that awesome girl cheese sandwich? Well, I just mean to say...

He's got a point, I thought maybe... I don't know, I'm not very smart. I can, like, I can, like, cure wounds and do a couple things like that. What would you say you are? Like, a cleric or a wizard or a sorcerer or a demon? I would probably... If I had to, like, classify myself, probably, uh... Like, a cool inventor.

Oh, an artificer. So you can defend yourself. then if something happened. I mean, I can like make my own way a little bit, sort of, yeah. Okay, cool. But I put it this way. I don't think I'm going to make it out of the mountains without you guys. Don't you worry, you just stick with us, and you will make it out of these mountains.

Thanks, Doran, and he tries to give you a high five. And Doran gives him a low five. That's his head, friend. His hands over here. Hey, so you were taken, were you outside land water? or on the road, or where were you taken? I was, actually. I was outside Loudwater.

I was doing a little bit of research. You must have been pretty far from Loudwater. I mean, that's a few days away. Not too far. I was about half a day's journey away from town. Oh, doing research on what? Performing some experiments. Oh, but you have a shop in town?

Yep. So who watches the shop when you're away? Oh, I just close it. I mean, I do have like an automaton, but he's, Most people don't really interact very well with him. Or rather, I should say he doesn't really interact very well with the customers. There's been some incidents. Okay.

No further questions. I'm just going to leave it at that. I just, because it's so much funnier to think this automaton kills people. And they're just like, all right. Well, that makes sense, I guess. just landed it was the okay and sold it oh fuck

Doran you're trying to tap this keg yeah yeah great Orxplitter makes quick work of it there's nothing in there but you tap an empty keg damn I really want to make it back to the other side

of the mountain there It's filled with regret The only thing that's in there is dust That smells like beer Beer dust was beer Dust beer This was beer It's dried up

Dorin's favorite seasoning It was a beautiful light ale brood about six months ago I can still smell the malt It's been drunken Wow Yeah they were gonna use this one again Yeah it was just finished

A few weeks ago It was pushed back in here After drying out in the sun Yeah the bees got to it Okay Let's keep moving Bees got to it Wow darling

Good night's rest and smelling beer Step back Jack I'm gonna tell you some still I'm supposed to my new go-to for things when they eat one. Something's wrong is the bees got to it. Yeah, Doran's got a special spell. It's called beer cunning.

Tell me, how old was this beer? Ooh, it's a red ale. Should we sneak through this room or should we go around? I'm thinking we sneak through the room. They're going to be distracted. Let's just keep moving. Keep our heads down. These stone giants want these barbarians out

and these barbarians are going to be defending themselves. Neither should give a shit about us. All right, lead their way, Red. What? Oh, okay. Red leads the way. With Scriven on his shoulder. Aw.

Oh, he's back. As you walk down this twisting stone corridor filled with the reliefs that have now become familiar to you in Deadstone cleft, the whirls and maze-like patterns these stone giants seem to imbue every surface with, you pass through into a large chamber.

It looks like probably somewhere where the barbarians usually make their homes. The far south of the chamber, there is a burning bonfire. And there are several passageways that lead out from this room. One to the east, one to the west. The one to the east have sounds of battle directly outside. It seems like all of the occupants of this chamber have been drawn elsewhere.

And in fact, as you move further into the room, you see a barbarian hurdle through the air and land in a wet pile. probably thrown by a stone giant recently. Oh! Hard pass. Hey, remember when I almost got thrown by a stone giant? That probably was, I would look like. No, let's not bring back the trauma of the last 10 minutes ago.

Yeah. And Doran keeps on scooting by. Let's just wait here for a moment. Wait for the fighting to die down just a little bit. Let's take a look around. Uh-huh. You scoot through into an adjacent room. and you find yourself in a side cavern, lit by a torch that's been mounted to a wall.

There are two giant-sized tables on the north side of the room, so they're about 15 feet off the ground. If there are items on the table, it would be impossible for you to see from where you're standing. However, this cave is uniquely beautiful because the light that is cast from this torch, which shatters and refracts all over the ceiling and walls. There are gems and flecks of minerals embedded everywhere. Oh, this is like a, it's like a dwarven dream. Whoa, I've never been in here. And he scampers up to a wall and immediately starts trying to pick out a gem.

And Red just like side mouth to the other was, it's like, look, you might want to trust this guy, but just keep a hand on your value. eables. Jack can't help walk up to a wall too and try and see if he can get any part of it to divulge up its treasures with a casting of mold earth. And Red turns to Mari and Doran says, Jack has been eyeing our stuff for a little while. Keep an eye on him as well. I mean, if you wake up in the portable hole, you'll know what happened. You're all treasures to me. If I don't wake up at all, I'll know what happened. Your casting of mold earth dislodges some loose sand from the wall, but it seems like all of these gems are ensconced in stone.

You would need some kinds of tools to be able to chip them out appropriately. We're not going to worry about all these, are we? Let's just keep moving. Yeah, if we're keeping moving, let's go. I mean, put it this way, if we're ever hard up for money, I know where to come back. If we were stuck in this room waiting for stuff to die down in the other room, Jack would break out his little excavators pick and do something. But if we've got a place to go, let's go. Jack, how much would you?

value the gems in here? I mean, we're probably just the tip of the iceberg. If this is what's on the surface, you've got to imagine what's locked in stone. If you were to, like, have an enterprise here, you could... How much would you value the gems in here? That's about 15,000 gold.

Ah. You know, this might be a good play if we ever need something to get out. You know, we know the location about $15,000 worth of gold. 15,000 gold's worth of gems. Hey, but look down here. Dorent sees a passage entry. to the south and he says, hey, maybe we should scoot down this way as opposed to going back

in that room with the fire and the Giants fighting. Yep, I agree. Location saved for future knowledge. So how'd you come up with that estimate, Doran? Jack says, following him far enough behind that he can definitely know Doran hears him, but is not expecting an answer. Well, we had a lot of family that were in the gem business and you know, and, you know, you can walk into a room. Are you guys sure? You're just going to leave all of this here. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You can stay and pick it out if you'd like. Oh, no, no, no, no, I'll come with you.

I just, and he looks back over his shoulders at the glimmering room as the four of you leave. Doreen kind of puffs up his chest a bit. He says, well, when you found as much gold and treasure as we have, you don't really work. And red elbows him in the stomach. I mean, seen as much as we have, because we didn't take any of it, because we don't have anything with us. We only red elbows him again. It belongs in a museum. We need to go.

Yes. Museums. You all slide down this ledge and through another stone passageway to yet another cavern. This room is also open to the sky. There are a couple of pools of cold water here and there on the stone ground. Oh, it is cold. Three dead fossilized stone giants in alcove's line. the west wall of this room, and in the center, a huge slab of pale gray stone.

Like a ritual table where they'd lay someone out, or is it like a tomb? Syracophagus? It's a great question. It's a concrete slab. Stone giant is no concrete. That's huge, if true. It's about 20 feet on the short side of the rectangle and maybe 35. feet on the long side. So this is a very imposing piece of stone. And all along its four

sides that you can observe, there are stone giant sized handprints in indentations pressed into the slab. Looks like some giant craft work. Can I roll history on this than being my favorite enemy. You're very favey. My boys. That is a 19. Okay.

Hey. Red, you are able to piece together that this is the resting place of the very first Thane who would have ever resided in Deadstone cleft. You don't know their name,

but this piece of of stone here is monumentally important to stone giants who live here. Red walks over and just sort of softly runs his hand on the concrete, which isn't concrete. And then you disappear. Oh. Oh. Oh. Oh no. Red. Everything else stops.

You are pulled irresistibly into this tomb. and are trapped within the stone Oops Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters Adam Fry Amanda Kitchener Amy Gaza

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