Dice Shame - 2-6 | 'Sick to Death of Fighting'

Episode Date: October 6, 2022

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: swearing, violence, horror, mental illness, animal death and suicide.Part of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

That's grossing Mario out and grossing all of us out. Can I try and catch him with my mind? There's no LED lights. So I land on the barrel. Close your eyes when you come in. It's preventative. I feel like it affects the other two guys much less. My right, Jack.

He's trying to head door and get him, Marry. That's how gross it is. They ain't moving. Don't worry about what's going on in the next room. What the hell is going on? Welcome to the party. Maybe it's better that we didn't eat that shirkutery board. Whoa, whoa, whoa.

We have Mari at home. Mari at home, it's just Jack. Oh, wow. Sorry. Welcome back to Day Shame. This is Season 2, Episode 6, Sick to Death of Fighting. MVP this week goes to Spacey Peach for leaving us a glowing review on iTunes. They wrote that Dishame is the first D&D podcast they've wanted to binge and re-bing

instantly. They gave us a 100 out of 10. Thank you so much for the wonderful review, Spacey Peach, and we're excited to bring you so much more. This October 30th, make sure you check out our sister show, Malevolent, for the 9 to Midnight special. If you're unaware, last year, Harlan, and a bunch of

other horror podcasters got together and recorded spooky stories for you to enjoy, and they'll be doing the same this year. You can check out the prolog now on the malevolent feed. See you, October 30th. All right, shall we do this? Yeah, let's do it. So this week I was really happily browsing Reddit when I saw a Twitch streamer who was absolutely fucking slaying at Eldon Ring, but she was using a dance pad as her input control.

Oh, amazing. That is absurd. It's really awesome. So I, like, clicked through, wanted to see some more. So I stopped by her live stream. And this chick is like dancing, killing. bosses and somehow she's also keeping up with the chat having conversations with individual viewers and you know like feeding her dog or whatever it's called movie magic that's

so much hustle and feeding her dog her partner is behind the camera playing the game it made me feel so out of touch with the younger generation generation generation generation X Oh, woo. Genuation, stage. What's this? I just never, I've never really felt that way so strongly before. Like, that's so fun, though. It is so fun.

And I was just so wildly impressed. Like, I don't know how much of that is true, though. I mean, in that case, it probably is. But, like, I mean, I've seen people play, like, fucking Dark Souls with a guitar hero controller. I saw some dude playing with a flute. Yes, I saw that today. That, to me, is fake. I don't think that's real.

I think that would be so much easier to fake than it would be to learn how to do it. This streamer, though, absolutely real. Yeah. No, I believe it. Like, people are talented. Eldon Ring isn't that tough. Really? Okay, it's not tough if you grew up playing those games and you, like, there is a code.

Computers can play that game if you're like, cool, duck dodged right where we're. There's like a code, like a cheat code? No, no, but like, you know, there are certain ways that you can program a controller to beat a boss. Yeah, because the bosses are static in by. I'm not trying to discredit this person. I think what she did or what she's doing, I'm sure she's still doing it to this very day. Right now.

Some say she dances in her grave. Joe, you look at such better stuff online than I do because what I looked at recently was a guy who was making his own homemade wine using refried beans and he was calling it Beano Grigio. Oh, no. And it was just as disgusting looking as you'd imagine. No.

And the video of him trying to drink it, was truly an experience. Just him, he got one tiny sip in, and he went, Bino Grisio. And I will be sending this video to the chat. Enjoy later, everyone. I was going to say, you have to send me that because I want that trash in front of me, my eyes. Yes, I love you, Bino Grigio.

I've seen that. There's a dude who makes, like, vodka infusions. I've seen a lot. With beans? No, he'll do everything. He'll do, like, skittles. He did one that was, like, Hot Pockets. and vodka.

He vomits a lot. What do you look at online, Rob? Yeah. Hey, everyone tell us your secret online things that you look at. I love you, our prison hooch. Open up your browser history right now. That's it. I've been watching a lot of like the true facts about the blank kind of animal that I've

been on that kind of kick recently. Z Frank. Yeah. So Z Frank stuff. That's been a lot of like the shot and other. Did you say Zay Frank? Yeah. Yeah.

I used to watch him like 15. years ago. He's still here and he turns out. True facts. It's kind of funny, eh? I don't know who that is, Z-Frank. You might recognize the like style if you saw one. Man, remember when he wanted everyone to make an earth sandwich so you could enter in your coordinates to figure out where the exact other side of the world was and put a piece of bread down and someone else could put a piece of bread down? Oh, I do remember. No. Why would you do that? That's just inviting a giant space God to eat us. Oh, a sandwich.

That's delightful. He's a bigger bread on that. Spoiler for the end of Dishame. That's how it ends. Always a bigger giant. All right, Barry, I'm on the other side of Faye Rood with a piece of bread.

Put yours down there. Red giants may be your favorite enemy, but you don't know about the last kind. That's true. Space giants. Space giant. Giants and space. Shall we play some d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d.

Yeah. Let's do it. Let's meet the space giants. We're here for Dungeons and Dragons. Deep in the sewers underneath the city of Water Deep, our heroes are trudging through slimy water and filth. The sewer tunnel has narrow platforms on either side where you can walk, crouching to keep out of the water.

Though you're all already caked in various levels of sludge from the earlier battle against the crab monsters. It's very dark down here, and you've been following tiny symbols scratched in chalk on the sewer walls, hoping to find a missing person by the name of Remy Albrer, dripping water echoes all around you.

Oh, my God, Doran, don't wash a beard in this. It's disgusting. Look, there's a dead toad right there. Well, listen, it's really grossing Mario out, so... No, that's grossing Mario out, and grossing all of us out. Look, there's literally now a piece of brain in your beard that wasn't there before. Oh, new brain. Oh, and Duren kind of pulls it out.

It stretches and stringy and... No, thanks. God, I hope that's brain. No, thank you. I hope so, too. It doesn't taste very good. Mari just, sort of, like, sheet some water off of her. And then all the muck comes sliding off, and she's clean again, and just looks at everyone and goes...

So, when does the adventuring start? Oh, this is it, Mari. This is the adventure. Red Splashes some of the... disgusting water around. We're in the thick of it. You know, sometimes adventurers are great, and sometimes they're, well, you're waiting through shit water, but they always lead to a good story.

I didn't think it'd be so thick. You know, you ask a good question there, Mariana. After all, when are we not adventuring? Because, as far as I can see, the adventuring never ends. That's right. My right, Jack. Jack, you're starting to feel very nauseous. Uh, you, Doran, it's...

That tracks. That tracks. Is that bino grigio in the ground? Oh, no. Spilled all my bino grisio. In fact, Jack, you are overcome with nausea and you start to throw up everywhere. Oh. Oh, Jack.

That's disgusting. You're right. You're right. You're a hold of yourself. Give me a second. It stinks down here. Yeah, yeah. I told you not to have wine with your eggs.

Can I do a medicine check? What the hell? Yeah. Or is it just too gross? I mean. It depends if you want to get close. I'm going to do the medicine checks. I'll get close enough that I can do that,

but not close enough that I get barfed on. You want to make that clear to the dungeon master, because knowing Joe these days, she'll just make you put your hand in poo. I stand about five feet back. All right. But I rolled a 25. Okay.

Mari, you, in your excellent estimation, would guess that this is probably brought on by the fact that Jack was literally swimming around in this disgusting water not 10 minutes ago. He probably ingested something and his body is reacting poorly to it. It's better than being dead and mauled by a monster.

Do you have dysentery? Where am I? The rest of you, I believe we're not like directly swimming in it. It feels like it would be fast for dysentery. Well, maybe it's magical dysentery. I'll be fine. Jack, are you going to be okay to walk around on your own?

Do you want me to carry you? Jack, just give me a minute. You want some of my berries? Red pulls out these poison berries from like 50 episodes ago? Nope, I'm going to find some water somewhere and just give me a second. Go out, let's go. Bari, squeeze some water into his mouth. Oh, that's very intimate.

Let's get out of the sewer, shall we? Let's make haste, huh? Yeah, let's get out of here. You're traveling west through the miasma of sewer odor and the sloshing of wastewater. When you come to a junction, or rather a pair of junction. The first is another sewer tunnel heading south, at whose mouth a barrel floats. Hey, a barrel. Sorry, I lost my...

Oh. Just a second. I was like, okay. I'll go with it. Weird half sentence, Joe, but fine. Barrel's important here. That's where we're at now, guys. Everything comes down to this barrel.

The first is another sewer tunnel heading south, at whose mouth a barrel floats half submerged in the slimy water. If you were to ignore that junction and move about 20 feet further west, it seems there's a dry passageway that also heads south, the first dry corridor you've seen since you descended into the sewer system maybe an hour ago. The mouth of this hallway is unlit. I don't know about you all, but this barrel seems pretty interesting to me. Me too.

Doran, barrel duty? Absolutely. Absolutely. And like when they're thinking, Dorn like dives and tries to land on the barrel. No, no. You go into the water. He said it. He said it. I'm not going to drink the water. It's going to be in your beard. It's impossible. It tantalizing. I never stopped him before. Do you want me to roll something for that? Do I land on it? No problem.

You can definitely hustle down the sewer corridor and land on a barrel if you like. Yeah. Dari, don't land on the barrel. I think that's almost. trivial you could certainly land on a barrel if you like but will it stay upright is that your aim to stay upright yeah and like swim the barrel back i will tell you how that goes all right well why don't i roll for it like the log driver log drivers waltz please you don't have to roll i'm going to tell you exactly how it goes as you land on this barrel you realize mid-flight that someone threw this away for being a really old gross barrel

mostly rotted through with tendrils of ooze clinging to the hoops fluttering in the slight current you see this all in the instant we're in barrel time right now there's nothing inside of the barrel and as you land on it it's rotted boards splinter

and explode and you're dunked fully underneath the gross poop water of the sewer ah darn can I try and catch him with my mind just yank him out at the last second just to try and push him five feet. You can roll a dexterity saving throw to see if you can do that while barfing. You want to shove them. I'm sort of, yeah, I'm within 30 feet. I just want to shove them back into the wall instead of down into the sewer. Don't do what I did, Doran.

Just onto the ledge. I've been there. Why don't you make a constitution saving throw to see if your vomit, hazed eyes can appropriately detect the fact that Doran's making a terrible decision. Sure. 20. Yeah. So you see it. You're like, hell no and you what you you shove his tiny airborne body so none of that stuff in as much as jack is leaning against one of the walls trying to like not feel so green i think his mind is shoving dorin against the other wall just trying to imagine dorin soaked even further in sewer water is is a much worse thought somehow knowing how long that will linger it's it's preventative so i land on the barrel and i fall through it and then and then as i'm like almost chest deep he

shoves me. So I like kind of roll up on shore like a like a mucky whale of some sort. Yeah, you are shoved up against the side of this sewer platform. Yeah. Bodily by your resident mage. God. Thanks, Jack. Good. Bruised ribs

and all. Jeez, you think you could have taken it a little easier on me? What the hell, Jack? He's trying to head door and get him, Mari. It's not going to be much of a fight. Mari looks over and sees this happening and sees Jack just barf, dribbling down his face and

cast druid craft so that around his head there's just a bubble of like mint and eucalyptus smell. Well, thank you. So please stop barfing. Sort of close my eyes. Yeah, at least it smells better. Take a deep breath or two.

Try and feel minty fresh. Yes. I feel like it affects the other two guys much less. I just care less. Anyway, the barrel was a dead end. Let's get going. Let's try that dry passage up there. Yeah, let's go a little far.

before we backtrack and red will continue on towards the dry passage to the west sure but as he approaches he's going to sneak would you like to roll a stealth check for me please i wasn't born yesterday i mean admittedly the smashing and splashing and hurling of a dwarf is not the quietest and the hurling of a wizard i don't care if they don't know we're in here i care if if they know that i'm sticking my head around I see, I see. What's your stealth roll? That would be 16. Red, do you poke your head around this hallway corner?

Just for a second, you know, like... You see that the hallway is dark. It's unlit by torches or any... You know what? I don't have to tell you all kinds of illumination that is not present. There's no LED lights. No, redundant. They didn't have a Christmas lights.

They don't have the decoration. up this year. No, spotlights. Not candles even. Nothing's going on. Red leans around the corner like Inspector Javert and then right back. You know that Russell Crow gift where he's just like. It's a classic.

Yeah. Red will head back to the others. There's a passage. It's dark. I don't really see where it heads. And I'm going to look down the other way as well just to get an eyed view. Yeah. You look down the other direction.

It is another long, slimy sewer tunnel. Yeah, red turns to the others, sort of with a cart dive, bro, he says, I think I'd like to continue along the sewer up this way, where the water's flowing. Why don't we see if there's any more fish symbols or other symbols or see if there's a hobo record that points us in a direction of where a layer of a bunch of thieves who might steal a person might be, because there's a lot of sewer underwater deep, and I don't want to be in it anymore. I'm done?

and I would like any sign to tell me to get out. You're still sick enough to throw up, by the way. I leave it to you to tell us when you throw up, but that's still happening. Yeah, we're going to choke it down as much as I can. Maybe it's better that we didn't eat that shirkutery board. Yeah. Less to throw up. No, they say that, I'm kind of hungry.

Over by the dry corridor, you see a smudge of chalk up near eye level. Yeah, just a resting white as a sheet against the far side of that wall, taking a minute to not be port, standing over, running sewage, and it catches my eye. Maybe like bend back around the corner. Red, come here. God damn it. Red walks over.

What? What do you make of that? Yeah, that's the symbol. I still want to go this other way. Okay. What are you guys talking about up there? Doesn't matter. Follow red.

I want to go up the sewer way. I mean, look, look. He's the sewer guy. No, I'm not the sewer guy, but we followed. enemies down here, you know, they're not expecting us. There's going to be a point where we need to start being coy about how we approach, because eventually we could just walk into a trap. I think taking this way, seeing that this is kind of the junction point, might be a good backway or a dead end, either way. I'm not fighting at it. I mean, we're in a sewer. Basically, the entire thing is one big

trap. Yeah. We're in a poop tunnel. Hmm, poop tunnels. Yeah. Yes. Mari sheets some water to Doran's beard because there's something deeply upsetting in it. It's a rat tail. Brown trout. Ew. That saying is now illegal. If you'd prefer to stay here, I'm fine with it.

I can just scout up ahead and come back. I just, to me, I'd rather not walk in to any... Lead the way, man. I'd rather stay together. Yeah, I'm going to cast pass without trace. Okay. And what does everyone else do?

Oh, stay within 30 feet, so we pass without trace. Yeah, all right. And Dorn's like, I will follow you guys. And you, Mariana. Marina. Sorry. Wait, no. Mari.

God damn it. Right. Right. She's following along. She's not staying here by herself. Cool. Yeah. Red will just head down to the end of the tunnel.

You do note that there is a feature. Can you see that? Nothing. A feature. Making things darker. Why is it hiding? It's being spiteful. There it is.

A bridge. A bridge. There we are. It says bridge right on it. Therefore, it must be a bridge. What do you think these odd symbols from the B-R-I-D-G? As you move south down the sewer passageway, you see that some way down this tunnel, there is a bridge that leads from one opening to another. Yeah, Red holds up a hand for silence because they shouldn't have heard us from this way.

and I'll do the same thing. I'll walk up and do just a slight lean to either side to get a view of the left and right. Yeah, you have to like hoist yourself up. Like you do a cool adventurer pull-up or whatever. Red does the coolest, are you kidding? He puts one leg on one side and one leg on the other side. He uses his kitty claws to stabilize himself.

Great, yeah. You see that heading east and west there is a corridor toward the west side it travels north then and then to the east it leads into a large room okay to the west side it leads north presuming that that would connect to the previous room I saw yeah red heads back to the others Dorn was like thinking if we did like a pincer movement and kind of both went that's what I was thinking too isn't that funny red silently looks to Dorn and holds up four fingers and puts two back the way we came and two up this way And Doren nods and says,

Yeah. Well, why would you talk? I said, I did the finger so we didn't have to talk. Well, all I said was yeah. Well, now they can hear, yeah. Well, now they can hear everything. And he taps Mari on the shoulder. You come with me this way.

They're going to go that way. And we're going to see what we can see. Let's be quiet, though. She suddenly takes the dagger and nods, but nervously. He was only kidding. You can talk. Just quietly. doesn't echo in here her lips are her lips are tight and she's she's just staring just going okay

so doran gives like a thumbs up to red and red's like but i wanted marry fine oh come on jack you want to everyone can have a magic user we have marie at home marie at home it's just jack oh wow sorry i just barfs on my coat at least there's plenty of sewer here to barf into yeah it's true it's true Ruining. Lathander, every barf into a barf pit. You know, there's always another, a brighter day to barf into the sewer, that old saying. Cool.

So Red and Jack go south. Fucking climb a bridge. Mm-hmm. Red, you might have to reach down and help Jack get up onto this. Yeah, just need to break halfway through. Yeah, so Red will climb up silently and help Jack up behind him. Thanks. Shut up.

You're welcome. So Doran and Mari, you are standing in this. dark entryway you're looking down a short hallway that you know will turn into a room just a few feet beyond where you stand all right we have to be very very quiet do you want a sneak or should i as doran says jangling his armor and speaking way too loud to be a sneaky marie looks at him and goes i i think we're past that point now i think we're just going to need to move as quietly as possible, but the sneaking part, I think we may have ruined that back when we had to kill all those things back there. I'm still feeling not too positive about that.

Doran looks down the hallway and then looks back at Mari. Yeah, okay, good point. And then proceeds forward so he can peer his head around the corner of the room. Doran, you see through the darkness that there are four straw-stuffed mattresses in this room and another corridor that leads south. And in the darkness of the room coming from these straw stuffed mattresses, you hear a groaning sound as two beings, a man and a woman, pull themselves to their feet to greet your presence. Meanwhile, Red and Jack, you are pincering from the south. Jack, come on up here. I'll help you. I'm coming. I'm coming. You feeling okay? Nope. I feel like shit. And I want to go home.

All right. And it's okay. Look. This was the worst idea. Could you imagine if we just turned around and left? All right. We're going home. Just went back.

Jack, don't worry about it. I just got to keep reminding Torren's having a lovely time without Doren in the Copper Cup. And that's what this is all about. Oh, this is all about Remy. Remember the chance of reuniting them with their lost love? Yeah, I'm not feeling so great about that. Think about what a great day we could make for them. We have to find Remy and then return him to that chef so he can make Ratatooie.

Yes, that little rat. That's what we're doing, right? Rackacuni. Yeah. Oh, no. And as the two of you travel to the end of the hallway and look in on the room beyond, you see a man standing there, wavering on his feet. He looks distressed.

His body bloated and diseased. Oh. Who is the one who's entering the room? I'll go first. Right, as you see this creature, you have to make a weird. Wisdom saving throw. Oh. I'm going to use inspiration.

Ah. Nice. Those are a collection of noises. Eight. Whoa. Oh, no. With inspiration? Eight.

He's not a wise box. As you catch just the sight of the profile of this man's face, you are compelled to walk towards him. Brad, what are you doing? Everybody roll for initiative. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. Oh, hello. What we got?

I rolled an 11. 11 for Mari. What about you, Doran? Also 11. Jack, what do you get? 14. And red? 21.

Oh, nice. This would be great for you. So top of the order, just so everyone knows what's going on, we have Mari and Doran at the north entrance to one of these sewer rooms within. There are two humanoids who have stood up. from these straw mattresses, clutching weapons, they see Doran and rush him. In the southern room, Red peeks his head around the corner and sees another standing creature who appears to be very ill, and catching sight of its face, Red becomes compelled to move towards this creature on his turn. But meanwhile, it is the two in the northern room's turn.

These unwell-looking humans, a man and a woman, both have weapons. They have scimitars, and they rush you, Doren. So they both get within striking range, and they just start packing. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Dorn exclaims. Dirty 20. Yeah, I'll allow it. You take seven slashing damage.

I'll allow it? Yeah, I was going to pull up my... A miss, another dirty 20. Whoa. Four for the second hit. Okay. And two misses. Ah, with one of those misses, Dorn is going to perform his repost.

Ah, okay. Does a 14 hit? It does not. So I still dispel one of my combat superiority die, but I miss. Oh, Dorn says as he tries to swing back, but isn't able to hit the dirty bandit. All right. Red. it's your turn so you are possessed of this charm effect and what that means is on your turn you must move towards the creature in the center of this room by the most direct route to try to get within five feet of it and you are otherwise incapacitated oh jack look at this thing red steps out towards it oh whoa it's so gross

Hey, buddy, are you okay? Fred, as you move towards this bloated-looking man, its skin on its torso, under its clothes, begins to kind of royal. Oh, whoa, Storn would love this. Everybody, get in here. Look at this awesome person. You can repeat this saving throw at the end of each of your turns. So now you can save against the effect again.

So roll of wisdom saving through. Does anyone want to give me their inspiration? Don't happen. I can give you mine if you want. Sure. No, you can have mine. I'll take brother Alex's because Alex and herself should not have to give away your first inspiration on the show. But I really don't want to be blocked.

Thank you, Alex. I'm going to borrow it. I appreciate it. No problem. 15? You do say. Oh, thank God. Yes.

So as you get up close to this creature, it turns to face you and you see like the moving, bubbling nature. its skin. It's like seeing some fetus kick a pregnant baby. A fetus kick a pregnant, oh my God. Kick a pregnant baby. Fuck you, baby. This is body horror of the nth degree. A baby's pregnant and a fetus kid. I've seen that movie. It's a Kronenberg flick. It turns the language inside out. That's how gross it is. Like it's, it's like the way a pregnant belly will move when a baby is inside. Oh, ah, gross, gross. Oh God, what am I doing? This thing charmed me when I looked at it. Don't look at it.

Close your eyes when you come in. Jack, it's your turn next. Just hearing Red describe the like gross thing come look at it. Jack was already like turning like pale as a sheet. Just really feeling it. He bends over and pukes again. And when he stands back up, he steeled himself a little bit and there's a little glow of magic over him. And the white of his face is no longer like a sickly pallid white, but like a marble stone as he's

activated stone skin and is ready to figure something out as he slowly sort of peeks towards the edge of the corner without looking waiting to get the next direction from red so as your action you cast stone skin on yourself yeah and i'm just kind of poised waiting for red to to sort of shout the rest of a plan did you hear that harlan he's waiting for you to shout more of a plan and when it's your turn. More of a plan? Kill everything. Attack the thing in front of me.

Red, the creature in front of you reaches towards you with a dripping mucous-covered hand. And you didn't attack this thing? He stone-skinned himself. Thanks, Jack. I was a really...

Anyways, fine. Sorry. Push his fucking Doran out of a barrel. It keeps me in front of a giant monster. I would have had to look. look at you to do that, and you told me... I can picture you guys, like, arguing. You should never have warned him.

Yeah, I guess not. This is very important. Does the 16 hit you? It does not. Okay, so the creature reaches out to grab the back of your head and you are able to dodge out of its grasp. Oh, I don't like that.

Sounds like an alien sort of thing going on. What the hell is going on? Jack! Fight this thing! Then in fury. a tentacle bursts out from underneath behind its back and whips out at you. Sugar. What's happening, Red?

Oh, my God. What do you mean what's happening? I said don't look at it, not close your eyes to the world. Jesus Christ. Guy, we'll look at the moon for seven hours, but we'll look into a fucking room. All right. That's inspiration right there. Thank you.

I needed it back. 19 to hit you. 19? Uh, yeah, no. It does not hit. It doesn't hit. Sorry, it does hit. Sorry, I was going to say.

21 bludgeoning damage, and it grapples you all these tentacles. Shit. I am almost half-healthed. Oh, no. Mari, it's your turn. Don't worry, guys. Mari's here. Oh, no.

She's got a dagger. She's got the sad, nervous druid is here. Yeah. Who just wants to be friends with plants. And here we are. Here we are. These people hate plants, I'm telling you. She can hear all the kerfuffle in the other room

just hears the sound of, oh, look at this. Oh, gross, gross, yuck. And then, ow, I'm dying. That's the most pertinent exclamation, some might argue. And yells over, Jack, you could actually do something for once. Oh, my God. But then sees these two people swinging at her and Doran and I want to cast hold person on both of them.

On both of them? I can. I can cast it on both of them. Heck yeah. Should be called hold people. Really? Okay. Tell me how that works.

They need to do a... It's a wisdom, 16, saving throw. And basically, yeah, if they... What kind of a saving throw? Wisdom. Oh, I'm so sorry. Yeah, sorry. My reading comprehension today is bad.

It became a song part of the way through there, to be honest. I rolled a three and a 12. All right. So they're now paralyzed. They ain't moving. Oh. Okay. Nice.

I can cast a on more than one person as long as they're within 30 feet of each other. And by the looks of it, they're within 30 feet each other since they are both trying to stab Doran in the face. That's right. Unless Doran's got a huge face. No. Dorn does have a huge face. What's wrong with my face? Just before you cast that.

Doran, like, in his very unit officer mentality, turns to you and he's like, don't worry about what's going on in the next room. Let's focus on right here, right now. And then by the time I turn back, the two of them are like frozen still. Like, was that you? She waves her hand in a big circle and this big silver ring is formed. And it spins over each of them like a hula hoop and just tightens around them and they no longer are moving. Wow. Perfect. Very exciting. And how long does this effect last? At the end of each turn, they can make another wisdom saving throw. So basically until they can just get, until they can get out of it. Got it. But that's advantage on all Doran's attacks is what that's going to be. Yeah. If Doran wants to attack them and not rush to save his friend,

Red. Marie, did you want to do anything else with your turn? Bonus action, movement. She's going to run towards that room, but not go around the corner. Just sort of head over, go around these two guys that are now paralyzed and get closer to the entrance to the room that Red and Jack are in, but obviously she overheard Red going, don't look, don't look. Does not pokerhead around. Ordinarily, you can't move through enemy spaces, but since they're paralyzed, it's not a problem. So moving through anyone else's space is counted as difficult terrain. So going through Doran space is 10, going through someone else's space is 10,

and then you have 10 more feet of movement to use however you like. So you can absolutely stand right there. remind me of these things because it's been like several years since I've like properly DM'd and not just done like jokey shit so my brain just is like oh right actual rules I have to be aware of these things again and not just be like

yeah you have a laser gun don't worry Alex has never learned the real rules you just do what you want until someone tells that you can't do it and you have to follow some rule that's right and then you grumble about it for a while all right Doran

so Doran kills both these guys and then he runs into the next room. That's right. As a single action. He's got his super invincible, invisible shield on, and then he kills everyone. Yeah. Can't hit me.

Can't you hit me? Yeah. And then I fly over. IDQD. Doran, what do you do next? You see these, these, what, fucking things of light come down and paralyze these dudes in front of you?

And then Mari just sneaks by. She's like, excuse me. Yeah, Doran's like trying to give her, like, sort of a talking to about how not to worry about these situations and get into the next room and focus on what's going on right now and before he's able to turn back

there's like this weird thing that happens and these two guys are just paralyzed these two bandits and then she sneaks by and George's like oh okay well listen since they're paralyzed maybe I should

vanquish them right here or should we leave them? Now Doran's like scratching his head, not sure if this is like a... You've thrown a wrench into the usual status quo. Now I'm starting... How can I be real if my eyes aren't real? And maybe you look back and Doran's kind of standing there with his hands kind of going, oh, what should I do? Mari looks over and also feels this incredible pang of guilt where she both wants to just leave these people,

but has now come so close to mortality in a way that she, like, never has before and also this, like, violence that she never has before and is struggling with the fact that everything she's ever learned has taught her to be peaceful, but in this moment that animal instinct takes over, and she just knows that the second those people are free, that they will hack them into stewing beef. Yeah.

So maybe you just give me a knowing look And then turn away The first knowing look of many She gives them Welcome to the party You're part of the tea now that you're given knowing looks We know you're one of us It's the right of passage

Then what happens, Doran? Yeah so Mara gives me a knowing look And turns away and I'm like Enough said Dora raises his accent Nothing said She can feel just the tiniest bit of water

drip down the back of her neck but for the first time it's not it's not pouring down stressed it's just this little trickle that's there

and she's not sure with the guilt drip yeah and it just drips it just drips into the sewer and just disappears in the murky water and she looks over at Doran and just raises a hand

and he's like you guys have six seconds okay six seconds like say no more say no more and he lifts up his axe as if he's hacking into a... Oh, but you only have a bonus action look

because he spent all the rest of your action economy on knowing looks. Right, who you attacking? The guy right in front of me, Doran lifts his axe as if chopping a piece of wood in half. So you roll with advantage because he's paralyzed. Oh, well, I don't need to. I don't think...

Roll 2D20 to take the higher. You want a crit, though. You do want to because you could crit to do double damage. Yes. Okay, definitely not a 19 or 20. So we're going to go with the original 22. Excellent. Nice.

And this is a 12 side. Okay, so that's going to be 15 points of damage. Marvel. And then he raises it. Like there's no reaction, right? Like this guy doesn't snap out of it?

I don't think so. No, not till the next turn can they do anything. That's awesome. I tell you, it's kind of creepy. He's looking at me. Then close his eyes.

Oh, and maybe he does. He reaches forward and, like, closes his eyelids with a couple fingers. and then, hey, I like you, Marie. 19 to hit. So much easier to kill people.

Yeah, 12 points of damage. Excellent. Well done. Hey. You draw blood from this statu-esque figure. Perfect. Anything else going on or that's it for you? No, I think that should be it for now.

Marvelous. It's these creature's turns. They're going to roll wisdom saves. Correct? Yep. Natural one. Oh, that guy staying still. And a natural seven.

Hey. They ain't moving. Nice. Awesome. I have a bad feeling about their longevity. Neither of them is going to go to college. Wait, how old are they? My God.

None of them are going to preschool tomorrow. That's right. Oh, no, this is the baby that's kicking a fetus. The fetus baby being kicked, yeah. They're both mature students, and tomorrow was set to be their first day of school. It's really a rags to riches story when you're sleeping in the literal sewer. but trying to get ready to go to college and like... Yeah, it's like, Barbara, I'm so tired of being doing this.

Tomorrow's our first day of the rest of our lives. We look over at their straw mattresses, and there's like a... I want a new life, Bob. I want to get out of here. We're going to be basket weavers for real. We're leaving all this behind so long as no one tries to break in and take our precious funds that we scrape together in an earnest living. Just one more sleep and we'll get out of here.

All these people are moving outside. Did they have a schedule, Joe? Are they pulling that out? Like, they've got the little, like, guidebook for, like, new students and, like, where to find... There's actually a motivational poster on the wall of the sewer. We just went to our orientation yesterday. With a calendar and all the axes, except for tomorrow, that says the day we make it all better. The day after our wedding.

Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters, Alexander Ruku, Lost With Two Faces, Matilda Rushing, Lida, Chelsea Chong, K.R. Sky. Creature. Regan, Michelle Con, Heather Nichols, Alexander Reed, Melanie Sheen, Artistic Witch, Brian Blas, Lars, Gray, Brin, Daniel, Tara, Doug, Marie Canisky, Merlin, Christopher Ryan Evans, Mitchell Cadwell, Colin Burkart, and Michael and Brianna. Webber. Thank you so much. I can kill you in your sleep. You know, it doesn't hurt to share, Red. I'm sharing. When I was growing up, you know, I learned from a very young age just how important it is to share. Let me tell you.

Red runs off.