Dice Shame - 2-61 | 'Table Talk'

Episode Date: October 26, 2023

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Five days along, uh, you know, between these valleys here, and we'll be back in Scarborough. Who sleeps in pajamas covered in bells? I wanted to be in the latest fashion in Waterdeep. You're short, you will be tousled. Well, Jack, you know, I'm not always the best for remembering things. Every limb, so cold. Some more of that bland stew. You've done some pretty great and incredible things.

Really do have to say thanks. I always feel comfortable long resting in it. Nothing can get in. You look fine, aren't you worn out? Jack? What the hell's going on? Jack? Shut up

Marie Shut up Alistair Oh Alistair Shut the hell up Alistair This is serious MVP

Welcome back to Dice Shame This is season 2 Episode 61 Table Talk MVP this week Is Scotty As nominated by Sweet Marie. Sweet Marie says, Scotty, I can always count on you to be silly and goofy with me. It's safe to say you leave me in stitches when you're in the thread.

Well done, Scotty. Thanks, Scotty. All right, shall we do this? Yeah, let's play some D&D. Woo! We! We're going to change the way we long rest, guys. What?

Right. Starting at level 10, we are going to use a variant of the long rest, where its benefit is only felt while in something we're going to call a safe haven. Uh-huh. A safe haven is an environment where your PCs can rest assured that they don't need to be on their guard. So towns, fortifications, guarded villas, these are all good. Ruins, huts, camps in the wilderness, not good. Three criteria have to apply here. at a minimum, these three criteria have to apply for a spot to be considered a safe haven. It has to have safety, so you cannot be keeping watch, basically. It has to have shelter, so in an actual solid-ass building, and comfort, beds, furniture, that kind of stuff. It's not just about physical

safety. It's about psychological safety as well. So good rule of thumb going forward is if you are considering setting up a guard shift or taking turns on watch, you are not in a safe haven. I'm going to do my best to outline when these spaces are available to your characters and to not undermine their safety. So they're going to be like sacrosanct. We can talk about the possibility of converting an unsafe space to a safe space as the option arises in the story. And I was thinking about the hamperat house being the best example that I can think of where it was initially a ruined villa full of imps. And then you guys spent a considerable effort clearing it out, staffing it, making repairs, that kind of stuff.

stuff. But typically these are already going to be extant places in the world. So why are we making this change? There's a couple of reasons. Why don't you guys? That's why I know. First of all, the D&D adventuring day is supposed to be comprised of multiple combats. And that is going to become more and more difficult to shoehorn in as you guys gain levels. I don't want to artificially inflate the amount of combats you're going to be in just to make your powers level with the combats. Does that make sense? Yeah. So in other words, yeah, you're going to punish us for just being the art. No, I'm kidding. That's right. For being too cool and too strong. I'm not going to create unnecessary challenges to bloat the game just to make things at an appropriate level for you guys. Exactly. So in

words, make it a little bit more difficult for us to do a total regain of everything. Exactly. In place of creating more artificial combats to bring us down. Which makes a lot more sense to me. And I'd also argue to the benefit of more interesting role playing. Guys, listen, though, let's not forget, we're here to have fun, all right? We are here to have fun. We are here to have fun.

No. Speaking of French, we're here to have French. Speaking of which, should we have some fun playing D&D? Yeah. Let's do it. Yay. Heck yeah. The late evening sun barely skims the top of the gray peaks.

The high foothills are a seemingly desolate place, empty, save for five tiny figures that labor to climb and descend a rocky slope. Our four heroes, plus one rock gnome companion, are battle weary from dead. headstone cleft. And though victorious, they are not unscathed from their trial. The dark valley below them is furnished with a wintry mountain stream and a few conifers for shelter, perhaps the last opportunity to take a long rest for a very long time. I'm tired. Dorn likes this on the ground.

He's going to take a long rest. Presumption is. waiting so long to do that. Red, I assumed you were tired because you'd pulled out that, like, pointy sleep cap and you'd put on a little straight pajamas. I wanted to be in the latest fashion in Waddy, Red Winks, Jack. It's covered in bells. Who sleeps in pajamas covered in bells?

Style at the time. Whereabouts are we exactly? You guys just left Deadstone cleft, like, around midday, pretty much, and you've been traveling towards Scarborough, Doran's hometown. It's going to be a couple days traveling. at least. So, Doran, how far to Scarborough? Well, and Doran looks up at the mountain peak

and with the sun shining over it. And he sort of sticks up his thumb. He kind of puts his, closes one eye. And then he brings his arm around and he puts his thumb up and closes one eye against another mountain top. He says, Joe, how many days do you say three? He goes, God, to tell me how far. What did I write on my campaign calendar?

Get there in five days. He's like, yeah, it's about either a day a half or five I mean hold on one second and Alistair Noggins is standing right behind you Doran and he's I mean he's been Myron this whole time oh yeah five days he's like

oh you're you're peaking at the peaks right yeah I've heard about this this is a dwarf thing I never really got it I think it's a difference in thumb size he's trying out his own it's a Doran thing it's the ratio of height to arm length maybe Doran like chuckles

it kind of tossles the the gnomes hair or hat whatever they got on their head both kind of doesn't sing you're short you will be tousled it's a hairy hat that you're kind of a you're kind of a funny little thing aren't you and he and he puts his thumb up yeah no five days sorry

I was I was looking at the wrong one he's kind of switching his hands back for five days along uh you know between these valleys here and we'll be back in Scarborough where I uh where I kind of grew up hmm I gotta say it's been quite a long time since I've been back actually

Feeling excited? Or nervous? Hungry? Sleepy? Yeah. I feel like I've been daydreaming for the last, you know, a little while here. Yeah, Doren, like, leans over and he, like, knocks the side of his head and a bunch more, like, sand pours out from the quick sand. Like, it's all just filled his ears.

Oh, yes. Can you imagine that beard, though? It's like when you shake out clean chain mail and you have to shake it in sand. I wonder if you could, like, knock on it and it would ring, like, the... It's like my favorite drink, blood and sand. Yeah, no. Marie's been, like, sort of walking behind them. She doesn't really trust this Noggins guy.

So she's kind of walking behind. Neither do I. Yeah. Red says, as he sees you hanging back. You just kind of, like, tells your body language. Neither do I. Mari says nothing. And Red says, neither do I.

Hey, I have a plus seven insight. I know, Mari. Huh. And, uh... Yeah, you know, I got to say, guys, I'm tired like beat, but my mind is racing. Yeah. Red kind of walks to the waterfront and, like, I don't know, skips some stones into it.

Yeah, I mean, you guys got that cool conch thing earlier. That, that looks cool. Don't touch it. You can at least let a know him see it. No. All right, fine. He throws a rock into the... No, I'm throwing rocks.

Go away. Go over there. He walks six feet away from you and picks up a rock and then just look... Not that one. I like that one. Dorn joins you down at the water, and he's walking down. He's counting on his... fingers as he walks down and he says you know just doing the math here i'm pretty sure it's been

about uh 20 28 years since i've been back home holy moly can you believe that's so different from the last dorrit how old are you a doran's 108 and he left it's 1492 uh-huh he left to go off to war in 1464 so oh 29 years i don't even know what year it is I've been warring this whole time. Well, he lost a year or two after the war. Year of the Hunter's return. Ominus. Ominacy.

Yeah, it's been a long time since I've been home. I got to say, I am a bit nervous about seeing familiar faces that may not be so familiar anymore. Don't be nervous, Doran. You know, I'm sure you're going to have a hero's welcome. Remember what Jack said? Red Light turns to Jack. Yeah. The things that I said about dwarves

And he said you'd be a have a hero's welcome coming back He said that you're a hero No Yeah you've done some pretty You've done some pretty great and incredible things You're wearing the trophies of your people It's going to be Jack, you're too kind

You can't call anything Yeah see, Augsplitters got it right She still sort of looks at the weird little guy She's like I don't still think this guy's weird Don't touch our stones Dork kind of looks around and continues to walk, you know, in the direction of where we're going. I don't know.

In order to have a hero's welcome, you have to know where we're coming. And not only that, you know, Jack, you know how they say. Like, sometimes you can be renowned outside of your own town, but then you go home. And the people, they don't see you like others, too. I mean, they know you from where you, when you were young. It's not the same. They definitely are going to all know you as Doran. And the Doran I know, and it's only been a couple of months,

but you're remarkable, you're steadfast, you're there for people. Despite any mistakes, you're coming back to make things right. I think you've, you know, you're not going there alone. Yeah, I think Doran just kind of continues walking in silence for a bit. And, you know, there's a chance that they might even know you're coming, Doran. Like, we ran into your cousin on the road. Maybe he sent word back. Hey, maybe, maybe they're cooking dinner right now.

Some more of that bland stew, getting it warm and, well, not warm, I guess, just like lukewarm and ready for you. They're getting you real authentic, though. Yeah, Mari, like, looks over at Jack and holds up, like, a little satchel of salt and herbs and just, like, winks. Well, well, you know, this is a good place as any, if we want to set up camp. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. So, what's next for you, Alistair, once we get you to civilization? I mean, I was hoping you guys would take me to loud water, but...

We've already talked about this. You're coming with us to Scarborough, and then we'll take you to loud water. I know. He's coming with this whole time? Oh, God. Yes. I don't... You trust him?

And he's your traveling companion, Mary. No. He takes your hand in his and looks way, way up at you with his little rock nomads. You drew the small rock. We can take turns every day. Somebody else can be assigned noggins to you. No. He's your rooming mate.

Red said that you would sleep with me tonight. And I told, I told him to not let go of your hand, Marie. I told him. Your hand gets wet and then immediately gets covered in ice. She like completely freezes all the water on her hand. She's like, sorry, I'm very, just every limb, so cold. Oh, maybe the furry one then instead. It's like that scene in Jurassic Park where he's like,

she said I should ride with you because it'll be good for. for you. Exactly. Exactly. Anyway, I'm going to go get some wood and build a fire. Sure. Well, pop up the tent. Yeah.

Yeah, let's get a safe space for us and figure it what dinner is. And Jack will start doing his ritual to draw the circle around the space and make it protected. Yeah, Red walks off and he heads to the edge of the river, kind of nudges over Alistair in a nice way, like a brotherly way. And he pulls out his bow and he just sort of stands. for a second and then an arrow sinks into the water and a fish is speared and he walks over and grabs it and says

I've got a I don't know salmon or something it's like a crab it's like very clearly not it's clearly a pike well they're both pink that sounds about right this is pink I'm colorblind oh no he says to Noggins Mari's looking around in the bushes for

like edible plants she's kind of aware of the fact that like no matter what she finds Red will just eat it, and it could be like edible only in the sense that it does not kill him. But even then she's not entirely sure. Bark. Hey, that's how you get a strong gut. You got to eat the weird stuff. Then you get poison

resistance like Doran. Well, that's what he told me. Every mushroom is edible once. That's what I'm saying. Noggins is like beside you, Mari. He's lifting up rocks and looking for wriggling things underneath and holding them up to you. Like,

what about this one? I don't think that's, uh... Actually, you know what? Bring it to red. See if he'll eat it. What is it? Oh! That was a juicy one.

I could get behind that. What was it? I mean, it was some sort of grub. Nice. All right. Again, he'll just eat anything. And it's mostly amusing now. She is just amused by it.

Dorn... While he's out looking for wood and chopping down little tinder here and there, He sort of does a rough scouting of the area just to see kind of how off the beaten path they are or what kind of surroundings. I'm hoping this is going to be like a fairly quiet area where they can really feel comfortable in their body and mind when they rest. Great. He's so thoughtful. I mean, it's challenging knowing that those barbarians who like wear people on their belts, you know, are from all around this area, right? Yeah. Yeah, it doesn't feel good here.

Is that Rob or Jack speaking? I mean, Jack would speak in a heartbeat about those barbarians at the drop of a hat. You want to talk about Blue Bear Tribe? He's mumbling to himself half the time anyways. He's got no internal filter. Do you say Blueberry Tribe? I'm excited to get behind some solid dwarven walls when we get there because I wouldn't want to run into more of them. Yeah, I don't know. Looks pretty calm around here. I don't think we have anything to worry about

I think God will be kind to us today Today Just but only for this lens They're your mountains Though I guess you haven't been here in 30 years But I hope you're right Red walks over to Mari And he's like, hey, that dusty prison that you had

Did you ever attuned to it? What is it? Mari, did you attune to that stone? I have a note here saying attuning So yes You have a A tuning for it You have a progress bar in the bottom of your character sheet

that's like one tiny instant from being filled in. And bloop, now you've done it. Oh, it's minty. Here we are. She goes, yeah, yeah. And she pulls out her, grabs her pack and digs around in it. It's just so much random stuff. All these random little, like, weird leather satchels and bits of rock.

And, like, everything's like a little damp. And she pulls out this rock. This is an iron stone. Or a eun stone? There's a lot of vowels. Mari, when you use an action to toss the stone in the air, it will orbit your head at a distance of a couple feet.

And it confers a benefit to you. So while this stone is active, it's going to be like hovering around your head like it's a planet and like your head's a planet and it's a little satellite. That's all it does. It's just a beautiful decoration. Another creature can try to steal it from you

while it's orbiting your head. Red, no. What? By jumping up and grabbing it or netting it with something. Yeah, red's like pawing out like a cat, just like a little bit. He's like, ha, oh, it's passing me. Oh, oh, oh. And this stone, being that it is a dusty pink color,

is actually a stone of protection. You gain a plus one bonus to your AC while it is orbiting your head. Very nice. Nice. Yeah. That's very beneficial. Plus one only? Just kidding.

Wow. Only plus one. Fuck. That's huge. You have tourists in the mouth. Wow, that's so great. Thank you for that. That helps our party.

Who said it's for the party? Yeah. So she throws it up in the air and it spins around and she can feel this sort of warmth settle in and sort of understands that it's a stone of protection. And she's like, go on, hit me. Don't actually hit me. red like jabs and then pulls back okay yeah and it's like and then yeah she she sort of snatches it back and sticks in her pocket for now because she looks over at elister noggins elester i keep home esther noggin and so just don't call him late for dinner still isn't really feeling isn't

sure how to feel about him but isn't sure if he's like watching or not but she doesn't feel comfortable with this thing he's doing a bad job of seeming not interested in what you're you're talking about what we're doing right now. Yeah. You know how like a kid is trying to ignore you, but also trying to listen at the same time? It's that. That's just me at work, eavesdropping on my coworkers. He's like, hmm, looking really hard into the stream at nothing.

To distract him, Mari makes a little tiny waves on the stream, just freeze over all of a sudden to see if that distracts him, just like a bunch of, just like ice appears. He's not a cat, but sure. He seems weird. Also, you're now the proud owner of the orb of the Steinroon. Hey! Welcome to the club. We also have some characters that have...

Ponder it. What do we got? Someone's got the Opel of the Ild run, I believe. I think that's me. And I've got the I's run. It's like the ice run. Mm-hmm. So Mari now has the Stein run.

Wanda twins activate! And we all put our... our runes in together. No, no, Doran's going to get the heart run, and we're going to get to summon Captain Planet. Captain Plano! Yeah, she looks for her to red Jack and goes, I too now have an orb.

Nice. That's why Jack's, like, eyebrow parked up. He's like, orb. Orb? Yeah, every time we're here's water, she's like, sweet. And Jack's like, orb, book. It's like, I'm so thirsty. You're like, huh?

The person who has the orb of the Stein run attuned cannot be petrified. Oh. They can cast, meld into stone. as a bonus action once per long rest, which is what the giants used to melt into stone and travel around. Mm-hmm. You also have indomitable stand.

As an action, you can channel the orb's magic to hold your ground. For the next minute or until you move any distance, you have advantage on all checks and saving throws to resist effects that force you to move. Jack, stop making me move. Listen, I didn't, you could, You can decide not to move any time you wanted.

Yeah. In addition, any enemy that moves to a space within 10 feet of you must succeed on a DC 12 strength saving throw or be unable to move any farther this turn. So you basically become a wall. Sweet, which is also great because a new spell I want to bring in is basically also create a bunch of walls. So Mari the Wall, Maker, and Wall herself. Well, I will say meta. Is there an argument that that. Doran would have a benefit to this too.

Very much so. We can safely assume we're at least going to get one more ruin. So it's not like everyone won't have one. But indomitable stand, action, Orris Magic, you hold your ground. There's an argument to swap out the ring of spells doring for this if Doran is at max 3 and that, but I don't know if Mari's, if Mari's got room for it, I think it's neat as a thing because it's kind of off. Definitely neat.

She also doesn't have much in the sense of your, you're, you're. Probably the, on the weaker side of us, as far as HP and the AC, no, Mari? No, Mari's up there with you. Mari's pretty beefy for HP. Like 93 right now. Yeah, I'm at 93 right now. Holy shit. Yeah.

In my mind, this speaks pretty strongly to a melee fighter. True. Well, the ring of spell storing could then go to Mari, which could get some cool ass fucking spells anyway, too. Yeah. And not that I want to take a cool, shiny thing away from Mari ever, but I'm just trying to think of, like, more over than anything, if. Mari, you start wanting to play in ways that also make this beneficial, I think that would be smart

as well, too. Like, that would be the tradeoff. You know what I mean? It would be like, it'd be fun to be like, cool. Well, then if you're like going to be melding and moving around and fucking, you're just like, oh, that's a cool opportunity, then let's do it. Like, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Yeah, I mean, I think it does work really well for a melee fighter with that stuff. I think also it's useful. The first thing I thought of is that I think I am the only person here who has a spell that can help someone who has been petrified. So if I get petrified,

then we have a problem. That's true. That's such a strong argument. Yeah, if I'd been petrified in that moment, I would have been done. That's it. Marry's done. All of you guys are done.

That's the pervasive argument. There's no, there's no stronger case than that. The question is, what utility does it truly possess, though? Well, I was going to say, there is one counter thought. There's not an argument because whoever wants it can have it. But if Doran still had that ring of spell storing and then he had petrify in that as a one and done, then him having that too could potentially, I don't know what the rules of the spell storing is.

Is it a fifth level spell or a fourth level spell? But if he had petrify on that ring and he had it too. Not petrify, but anti-petrify, greater restoration. Greater restoration, yeah. But you know what? You're absolutely right. That is a great, great point. It's kind of a great insurance.

But you know, I look at this, I look at this and I see indomitable stand. in action you can channel the arms. Well, I just think because you just got thrown. Resist the effects that force you to move. I think that forces you to move. So basically you could run up and just no matter what they do if they try to pick up and throw you, which has happened a lot with giants for you. I mean, I think the cool piece about that is Doran, or whoever holds this gets to say

up here but no further. Like if you reach it to Doran, you're not running past Doran to get to the weaklings behind him. Which is exactly the benefit I'm thinking for a melee fighter because if, if Mari has that, I could see them, yeah, if they pick up you, nothing. But in terms of your benefit for not letting them move away from you, you almost always want to get away from people. You're never going to want to use that

because you're going to be like, I want to make sure these people get away. Whereas Doran is constantly trying to get to people. Yeah, you guys can play dragon chess for it. I'm perfectly fine to give it up to Doran. The only mechanical thing is, Marie, you're attuned to the Ioun stone and the staff, and that's it? And the staff of healing.

But if Doran did take it, then you would get probably the ring of a spell story. The ring of spell storing. I say story-wise, keep it for now. For now. Because there's like, for now, for now. Because we might find another ruin that speaks more to you. And then you'd be like, I can't use this one. And you go to toss it in the trash.

And Dorn's like rifling through the trash. There may be more runes to be found. Who knows? I do, in the end, think this does make more sense for Dern, mostly because of indomitable stand. Well, the other argument, though, is to how often are we going to get petrified from here on now because that's the true question yeah like because at first I was like oh yeah I'm with I'm with you I'm with Rob we're not going to catch it but then I'm like we beat them

I mean they may come back but probably not in a big way you keep it for now make a note of it come back to it instead of talking about it still yeah it's all attuned to it but it'll just be like yeah like Mari looks at the stone and she she can feel the magic within it but it's uh it feels a little foreign in a way she can't really put her finger on and she sort of slips back in her pack. I can roll stone cutting on that. Because there's also a piece of stone too, isn't it? It's granite.

Yeah, it is. It's about fist-sized. She just sort of gives Doran a look. Yeah. And looks back at the stone, but just sort of doesn't say anything just yet. Doron kind of gives a side eye of curiosity, and then he sees her tuck it into her pouch.

And then he makes a mental note that Nursal has the orb of Steinroon. Marte. I know, but I made a note. Norsew has it. That's a rare number. We only get the Jack. We get the Jack Rob, but this is the first Murray Nersol we've gotten.

Yeah. No, I think Alex was... I did that on purpose. Signaling you out, meta. He was like, taking that from here. Alex, over here. Boom. Get it.

Do an alley. Okay, so Mari has the orb of Howard Stern run. That's correct. Anyway, shall we, uh, camp is Lehman's tiny hut up? Ah, beautiful. I won't miss this thing. Ever. I mean, I really love how nice and warm it is, right?

Like, we haven't even bothered to bring tents with us. It's so true. It's how reliable this thing is in the middle of winter that we're hiking around the mountains. I always feel comfortable long resting in it. Nothing can get in. But I will say, I'm always a little nervous because you can see on the outside, it's never the most restful sleep for me. You know, I wake up probably every hour, open an eye, just to take a look around

because, you know, it's still out in the wild. Can't trust anything. Yeah. Marie's been hiking for so long that she's just sort of like not saying anything but she's very aware of like the feeling of sleeping in the woods

but just alone. Yeah, me too. It's all these guys that make it dangerous. Doring comes back pulling a big log of a dry dead tree that he's felt. It's like ready for perfect, ready for burning. He kind of pulls it up

and he looks on his face he looks like he's a little bit more relieved than he was when he went on. off to find some... He took a giant shit. Yeah, yeah. And behind him is a steaming pile of shit in the forest. No, he turns to

Jack as he approaches, he's hearing the conversation. He says, you know, I really do have to say thanks for, uh, you know, always putting up this tent. It's, it's true. It's, it's, it's very comfortable in sight. It's almost like it's got a fire going inside of it or something, you know? Beauty of magic things.

Yeah, my body is beat, but my mind is active as hell. Let's Play some word games. I'm thinking of a word. Bear. Damn it! All right, I'm thinking of a different word that's not bare this time.

Blue. Damn it! Take off that damn Blue Bear shirt. Alastor Noggins pulls out this little leather-bound book and sits down on a rock nearby and just starts quietly scratching. Look at him, Mari.

Over there plodding her demise. You and I know what's up. You and I know not to trust him. can hear you. What? Nothing. Shut up. You invited him into the hut. I didn't invite him into the hut. I invited him to sleep with you because I thought it would be funny. Oh, God. And it is, in my defense. I mean, it's, it's, it's, I wouldn't say it's funny, ha-ha.

Doran and I found it funny, ha-ha. Look, Mari, I cleared a space right here of all the pine needles. It's just big enough for you and me. She freezes the whole ground. Jack unfurls his portable hole and reaches down into it and sort of going through all of the books he's collected so far to try and find one to read for tonight and folds it up without bringing a book out, having read everything in his collection. Nothing new. First world problems, am I right? How do you get to sleep without a good book? I don't understand. Maria reaches into her bag and she pulls out one. It's like a very, it's small, it's very old, but it's very worn through. and it's a book on the plants and flora and fauna of like the area around where she's from that's been written by like various members of her family she's like do you want to read this

yeah absolutely you're a huge nerd but it's just it's just like this old like very delicate book it's all handwritten i absolutely do want it looks so rare red walks over he's got like mud on his fingers don't you touch it don't want to touch it i'm sure jack has cotton gloves for books. Yeah, that's why she's trusting Jack with it. You know, he had book gloves, but Red's got hair all over them, so now they're kind of, they're on time out for a little bit until he figures out

why are there so many bells sewed to them? Who did this? They didn't come that way. What you're looking at, Jack? That's pretty cool. I'm like eating something greasy right over your shoulder, looking at this big book. Marry's like clenching, just looking at the across the fire. There's a moment while you're looking

over my shoulder that I might try to lean over and make eye contact and just that like gleam in our eyes from the last puzzle box connecting being like ooh how about a puzzle oh oh could we we could i mean should we the only other thing is you know yeah if there's any well i mean yes at her camp that's how i mean that's not that's nothing hey you guys are all cool with this right if we um take on to one of these uh puzzle boxes it's it's reminiscent of I'm like a couple of people turning on and be like, you guys mind if we take some psychedelics?

Just like, you know, watch over us while we're doing this. It's been a long night, you know? Oh my God. You guys cool if we get fucked up? It's not unlike that altogether. By clam a tree. Tell me God doesn't exist anymore. And in both situations, I could turn and say,

well, just don't lose your minds, okay? Right, right. Yeah, of course. No, I think after the last time, I think we've got a really good handle of these. Totally. We wouldn't do it. We'd only do it together. You know, we know it takes two minds and all that.

imagine Jack kind of like goes for the bag of holding and Red's kind of like, oh no, it's okay, it's okay, it's okay, I got it. And he like pulls the bag away a little bit and he reaches in and fishes around a little bit and you hear some like crinkling and some chickens and he pulls out the box. Crinkling in some chickens. You know how it is and he tosses the bag aside and he holds the box out to Jack. So you guys found four in Zosin? Yeah, but a lot of them were dismantled.

I thought we found four and then we found parts for more. Oh, sorry. Yeah. I found out this one. I call it Ruby because it's a little bit more red than the others. Do you think that's a clue? Like we can't throw that out as if it's not going to be a part of the puzzle. These things are fiendish. I don't know. This is why we need to work together. Red's talking as if the other two care, but they're like doing their own shit. He's like, see, I'm the wisdom and Jack's the intellect. And together we, I don't care. Mari's watching and she's just sort of very carefully like making a slight note in this book of like some plant that she found.

but she's watching these two just the books called ways my friends die i was going to say the day oh no she has to end the worst thing is that there's already notes yeah you've got like there's a bunch of entries in there that's the yeah oh my live journal so sad names we don't even know yet yeah you guys you're holding this this puzzle box just like the one that you pulled out of the hamperot house it's cube shaped Six inches on each side. It's composed of airtight interlocking parts made from materials that you are now coming to recognize

as coming from the nine hells, infernal iron, demons, bone, and you've done this before. Oh, wait, wait, wait. The red reaches back into the bag of holding, and you hear a squeak, and he pulls up Stevie. He's like, Stevie? You, like, holds him close.

A-okay? Stevie sniffs close to your nose and his little whiskers wiggle up and down and then he just starts looking for food around the kitchen. All right, go get some fish from Uncle Dorn and he like throws the rat on the gear and like, yeah. Oh, snack, thank you.

When you guys imagine the solution to this kind of puzzle box, are you, like, it's, are you imagining it is purely physical things we're doing to this thing or is it like we're uncovering clues as we open compartments that are, you know, telling us, oh, you needed a third outside thing to go open this next part or like what how do you envision that for me i'm envisioning the hellraiser box because that's because i'm dumb and that's all i can picture i don't know the hellraiser box i can't

remember how it goes so that's i mean i know what it looks like but i can't remember the movie really i i just picture there's like different different things happening and one thing that popped in my head was you know you you turn over one flap on maybe one of the edges and there's like a flap of metal and you tip it over and all of a sudden it starts ticking and there's like a mechanical countdown going and you don't know what's going to happen and all of a sudden like a red line shows up

and it's sort of a dial. I know this is what's going through my mind it might be something. It's very dangerous. It's like tick tick tick tick tick tick tick tick bring. Kind of like that. The box,

like the puzzle box on fucking glass onion. Have you seen that? We're like, no. Yeah. Kind of like that. But then at the end of the countdown a little drawer opens up

and you're like, oh, thank you. God, it's not the countdown you would think it was. Yeah, Doran lies back and watches you to do this puzzle box while he rolls a cigarette and sits back and maybe he writes in his journal. Nice. Let's do this. Yeah.

Mari shifts a little bit closer because she wants to watch this, but also is like a little nervous. I want you to roll an investigation check, one of you. Cool. And you can roll it with advantage because one of you is helping me. Cool. What's your, what's your investigative? My investigation is only plus three. 27.

You fail. Yeah. There's a part of the puzzle where a sharp needle protrudes and then pops back in. And then the box, there are parts of it that were lighting up and opening, shut back down. Ah! Oh, at least this one didn't wreck my brain like the last one did, although I do have a bit of a headache. Yeah, well, I mean...

I mean, you look around and, like, the sky's dark now. You've spent, like, an hour and a half with this box. That wore me out, Jack. I don't know if I can try again, bud. Don't do it. We'll do it another night somewhere maybe a little less... With fewer distractions, like in the middle of nature. You look fine, aren't you worn out?

It took everything from me. I mean, it was, no, hyper-focusing on a puzzle in the woods, that's right in my wheelhouse. You are aware of who you're talking to, right? Yeah. It's not even breaking a sweat. I don't even know if he does sweat. Probably. And Red takes it back, and he's like, I'll put it away.

And he puts his back in the bag of holding, and he, like, slumps down on his roll next to it and, like, flips over with his back to his bag. And he's like, I think that's probably it for me. Stevie, cuddles. and Stevie like runs up and zips between my arm and immediately the rat is asleep and I'm like I'll stay up for a little bit

and hear you guys talking if you Mari goes over and sits down beside Jack Sorry yeah Red's pretty protective of those things Yeah I don't think I'd want to touch it anyways

It's not good magic No you're not you're not wrong Part of what's like We haven't even made really sense Of what's in the first one You know you know those The coin we found in the sewer with the duck on it,

we found one of those inside the last puzzle box. That's bizarre. In the haparad house. Right? We're still trying to figure it what they all. It's a goose. Yeah. It was a goose, wasn't it? Yeah. You're right, a goose. Yeah. Duck coin. It's important to discern between the two.

A duck is much smaller. No, I... One of them is much angrier. You're 100%. Especially in this kind of riddle. Precise language is the most important, Dorian. And I really appreciate you holding me to it. Well, Jack, you know, I'm not always the best for remembering things, but

when I remember them, I'm going to have to say something, you know? He like moves his arm and you can see the tattoo of the names as a reminder. Yeah, you roll the dice twice and you... Say, Mari, when was the last time you went home?

I left about, I guess about a year ago. Oh. And that's... I'd never really gone much further from my home up until now. And, yeah, I left about a year ago, and I haven't been back, and it feels weird. It feels weird.

I miss my parents, and I miss my sisters. So it's been this is the longest I've ever gone without seeing them. And where are you from again? Simbar. You know, I really do feel bad that I actually had to ask that. I listen I'm not the most educated dwarf it's uh yeah sim bars it's on the uh it's on the sea of fallen stars oh you've been out there uh you know i may maybe i have and i just don't remember i war took me a lot of places but you know i've been a i've been away a long time and i've

been a lot of places man but maybe i've never really known where exactly uh those places were in fact and he holds up his little notebook diary thing that he's been drawing maps and ever since he met Jack. I wish I'd start doing this earlier. And he kind of looks over and nods at Jack. And he says, I might have remembered a lot more places where I was instead of just rambling around.

A little voice pipes out of Mari's bedroll, Alistair, listening to you guys talk. And he's like, and I'm sure that war changes the face of the countryside, doesn't it, Doran? You're a creepy little guy, you know? You really just popped out of nowhere there. Get out of my bed roll. That's mine.

Stay in there. I'm paying you to do this. Oh, my God. You know, while we're talking about it, I mean, you don't really know much about us. But Red hasn't been home for a long time, and his home is across the sea. Yeah. Which sea? Ah, the Sea of Swords. I come from Mazdica. I don't really want to go home or think about it, really.

Oh. Yeah. I hear you. But it's a great place. with really tall trees Soie, does everyone here have like family problems aside from me? No problems, no, not really, no, no. I mean, uh, my mom's nice. I'm good. She's fine.

No one asked you. That's, that's nice. Alistair. Alistair. That's good. I'm still, I don't, I don't like that you're in my, you're in my sleeping bag, but fine. She goes and shoves red over. That's it. I'm sharing the role

that you read, move over. All right. Mine's big and hairy. I meant the bed roll. Yeah. Sure, my bed roll is big enough. He's just a bunch of blankets anyway. Come on, everyone.

Let's go to bed. I'm tired. Two hours later, Jack puts down the book of like Mari's family lovely stuff and is staring up at the stars through Liamen's tiny hut and looks over towards Red's direction and without moving a month. muscle, the bag of holding pops open and things start coming out of it as I'm reaching around with like a psychic hand trying to find the puzzle box again. There's quite a bit of stuff in there, Jack.

And keeping the chicken quiet is the hardest part. It would be were it not dead already. Oh, that helps. The chicken that you pull out is dead. It's just a noise box that Red keeps in there to freak every. everybody out. It's like an alarm. Actually, one of the first things that your hand pulls out is a greasy roast chicken that's

wrapped in a piece of parchment that you don't recognize. Doran shifts around his nose. Yeah, that's got to go back into this space before Doran wakes up here, smelling something that is akin to food. Yeah. He's like, I'm not going to claim it's actually food at this point. But this greasy parchment catches your either's writing on it. What's it say?

this this greasy parchment floats over magically towards where you are sitting and it says the following through some smears of grease you are able to decipher dear robin thank you so much for i so appreciate your i feel like i've the same sorts of people for that in the truest of sense of the word has really helped been struggling with. I suppose all of this is, don't really know what to do. I'm torn, my heart. I don't even know. I hope it's okay to, I'm sorry, awkward position with Jack, Torin.

Huh, I need like a magic fix book spell. Remove greasy chicken Remove chicken grease You know what like the worst part is Like there's an argument that Red would know if it was missing Yeah that's true Because it's his I mean But it's also wrapped around my chicken

It's like a half-eaten chicken Well this is my thing It's like a bite I was using as like fish like newspaper I'm trying to imagine Jack just like Carefully tearing a page out of Marty's book And wrapping it around the chicken No

No that would make that wouldn't desecrate a book I know Mari would definitely notice and then she would beat your ass I think Jack unwraps the chicken and throws its greasy

carcass back into the bag keeping the wrapper that has words from Torin on it and I don't think this is a conversation Jack wants to have with Red in the middle of this moment so I think he's going to try and wrap that up but it's not going to stop him

from then pouring the rest of the bag out to find the puzzle box. Yeah. Solve this thing on his own, damn it. Not pouring because there's so much liquid in it. Literally pouring. Everybody waits out because all these broken glass cars. Waiting through the,

by the time all the silverware hits the ground and the goblets start to smash. But there's like soup in the bottom of it too. Like loose soup. As you find the infernal puzzle box that you and Red had been laboring over earlier in the evening, snow starts to fall. Yeah, at a loss for words kind of stewing over what the hell the rest of these sentences could be,

Jack's going to just keep fiddling with that puzzle box until he can try and get it open or falls asleep with it in his hand. Trying to not fill in the worst version of all of those words, like I'm sorry to put you in an awkward position with Jack, definitely not okay.

I'm torn blank my heart. I don't know. I feel like we see Jack almost speed up like the film is being fast forwarded slightly as you are laboring over this puzzle box and snow falling begins to accumulate on the top of leaman's tiny hut like an inverse snow globe almost the world outside of you is spinning and being shaken up and inside over the coals of this fire it's just you and this indecipherable mechanism and once more the needle pops out of this box.

I'm certain if there's one thing infernal iron and stuff wants, it's a little bit of blood, and sure, why the hell not? Let's see if that works. Jack would probably prick his own finger, but some, you know, one of the least useful fingers to... Make an investigation check for me. Without Red's help, you are just doing this straight up and down. Natural 20.

Oh! No word of a lie. Holy shit. Oh, fuck. That was had advantage on. Oh, no. No. It's 13. Wait, 13? So, yeah, that, sorry, I rolled the two dice. The first one was it was a 13 total. The second one was a 29 total. Oh, no. Your blood seeps down into the needle through a small channel into the box and it almost greedily sucks it into this sandy. porous material that dissolves away and a small opening is revealed as you continue to solve this puzzle box working faster and faster as your deft mind puts the pieces where they're

supposed to be. It's all making sense to you now. Anyone looking at you from the outside would be what kind of expression on your face. Very much like just that flow state in the middle of something. this is now the most important thing in Jack's life for the moment and he's not for once thinking about any other thing he just gets to like focus on one thought and he's loving it. The final piece falls into place

and as the puzzle box opens Jack you are hit with such a force that you are flown off of your feet. You blow through the wall of Lehman's tiny hut and you hit a tree behind you with a resounding crowd. And in the moment all of the sloth no collapses on top of everyone else

who's been sleeping there in a lovely blanket of icy cold. What the hell? Not funny, Red. Anything this time you're doing. I told you not to throw snow on us. Alist, did I pay you to do something again? I forget.

What the hell happened to the hut? Oh, but where's Jack? Jack? The hell's going on. Jack. Shut up. Marie. Shut up, Alistair.

Oh, Alistair, I'm glad you. I don't know why. Should have dropped you off earlier. He'd be a total heel. I don't know. He doesn't like him so much. Shut the hell up, Alistair. This is serious.

Yeah, and Mari, Marie stands up just snow sheeting off her and whips around because the tent's gone, which means the magic's gone, and looks for Jack. Are we under attack? I don't feel safe. I don't feel safe.

There's smoke. coming from a direction. Mari grabs red. I got my bow, let's go. Yanks him up and sort of starts running over towards that. She's just sort of running through spells in her head, trying to figure out what to do. Come on, Doran.

He's got his axe in his hand. He's like, yeah. Oh, it's Jack. And then Doran's like giving you a hand up. Ow. Jack? What the hell, what the hell happened? Doren?

Yeah, what happened? I got thrown into a tree. Yeah, but how, you knucklehead? It was an ox. It was a barbarian. A giant. An ox barbarian. Dorn's like got his axe in hand.

He's like looking in every different direction. It's so hard to see. Like, despite your dark vision, the wind is just whipping around you now. There are these clouds of snow just blowing past you in every direction. Talk to us, Jack. It wasn't, no, it wasn't anybody. It wasn't, it wasn't anything. We're not under attack.

It was just a curious wizard, I say, and I like try to hand you back the box and go to Mage hand it and it falls in the snow between us somewhere. What? You, idiot! Red comes down and scoops it up and like holds it with just his pointer and thumb and he's like, like, as if it's like hot almost. It is. How!

Jack, on your hands where you had been holding this puzzle box, there are two, burns in your palms. I mean, I'm just standing there, hands open, trying to let them collect some snow and cool off a little bit, maybe. We were supposed to do it together. Oh, man. I couldn't sleep. You could have broken your brain.

Yeah, I might have. Fuck, I don't know. Red, go and put it away, covered in snow. Do, you know, break it, do something. I'm on it. And Red, like, scoops it into the back. of a holding like like uses the bag of holding and get snow. The soup is sizzling as it gets. Yeah. Yeah. As you pick up

the puzzle box red, you realize Jack opened it. You opened it. How the hell did you? Well, damn. And I guess like holding the bag I like dump it upside down to where whatever was in it falls out. There are some small pieces of what looked like maybe ash that float out some husks of a strange seed maybe spell components it's hard to tell they fly away on the breeze almost as soon as they leave the box oh a booby trap is meant to explode as soon as they got it open uh luckily you didn't get killed yeah jack you're lucky you didn't get killed and Mari sort of takes his hands and looks at the wounds and starts sort of trying to think through various, like, topical treatments or whatever for burns. There's definitely that instinct of, like, Jack trying to run his hand through his hair only to realize, like, it's singed off in some places and kind of patchy.

Looks rough. Yeah, he's not having a good day. This is a weird burn. I'm not really sure what to do with this. and she's just kind of casting these sort of light little bits of magic to at least cool it. Yeah, I mean, we're in the middle of a blizzard. Let me, we've got to get the hut back up or something.

Yeah. Yeah, I interrupted my beauty sleep and I need it. Sorry, yeah, I'll go do that now. Maybe just get a minute to focus on something else. Yeah, Dorn, I think as you're kind of getting up, Duren's focusing on helping you up and brushing you off a bit. Maury, what's going on with him? He doesn't look right. I don't know. I don't know what it is. I don't know what it is.

That puzzle box is some sort of foul magic. Something wrong. That thing is cursed. I'm telling you. It's from the depths of hell, Marry. He shouldn't be playing with that alone, but... Well, I'm more jealous that he got to before I did, frankly. Don't tell him that, though. Does he normally do that? What? Wait.

Does he... Wait, did he go into my bag? You put it in your bag. Right, right. I better check. And Redd like skips back towards where the tent was. And I feel like he goes through the bag of holding and he kind of just routes through it for a second.

Jack's doing his best to ignore everything but the circle he's stomping around the camp. And it's just like walking back and forth and writing things in the snow. And like it's 15, 20 minutes later. It's never taken this long for Liamon's tiny hut. Snow's starting to fill in on the inscriptions that you had been carving in the fallen snow.

like, it's kind of filling up, taking too long. Yeah, Mari comes over. What's wrong? I don't think I got it. Like, I can remember how to do it. Like, exactly. I know exactly how I did it this afternoon, like, every step, but I don't think I'm going to get the hut up.

Okay. Red, like, looking through the bag of holding, realizes that his parchment-wrapped chicken is gone, and he feels around for, like, a stack of other envelopes. sees that they're still there. And he stands back up and sort of looks at Jack guilty, even though Jack is like talking to Mari, like Jack doesn't see him. He's just kind of like, oh, no hut? I don't think we're getting the hut tonight. No. I don't think. What? Why? I don't have it. What does he mean? How do you not have it? You just, you do it,

don't you? Isn't that how magic works? I can remember doing it, but I can't get it. It's not going to happen. I guess I still have my tent in here and I reach into the bag of holding and I pull out like my old canvas tent that hasn't been used in like two months. Yeah. Yeah. And I pull out the tent and I roll it down and I start putting it together. Don't go hammer down

those pegs. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Doran is already stoking the fire, kind of getting us a little bit of light as well as some heat. The adrenaline was going. So now that we're coming down, he's starting to feel the cold creep in. Yeah, and Red's got the three tent set up now.

Yeah, thanks. Reddorn and I used to share this one. That used to be Crayloss. You can have it. And that was yours, Jack. Yeah. Thank you for setting it up. And Jack starts picking up his bag and his pack and digging stuff out from under the snow.

And he walks over to Marie and hans her back, her book. Sorry, it got a little bit of snow on it. I didn't mean for that to happen. That's fine. That's fine. Are you sure you're okay? I may I just need to go to bed. and he walks over to Red and hands him back the greasy paper and says this might have fell in out of your pack

Oh, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Red, like, kind of glances at it, sees that it's pretty grease-stained, but that's some important information's on it, and he just shoves it back in. And then he climbs in his tent. Yeah, and he like spins on his heels and climbs into his tent. Alistair goes in the tent with Mari. You see an outside shot where it's like, get out! Oh no, you don't The sun rises on this pathetic little campsite

It is covered in about eight inches of snow The fire has died And there's just a black smudge where it used to be And you have all leveled up Yeah Yay. That's triumphant circumstances to level up in two. Right.

Level 10, guys. Congratulations. I come out of the hut a different man. Excellent job, guys. Alist are leveled up too. Alistair shut up. Allister, shut up. Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters

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Zander Morning Dove. Zephyrus. And Zach House. Woo. I'm certain if there's one thing infernal iron and stuff wants, it's a little bit of blood. And sure, why the hell not? Let's see if that works.

So you throw it at red. I'm more powerful than ever! I could see Jack holding it over his hand and then being like, eh, and he pokes Dorn in the butt and gets in blood, you know? Just wipes it off on Doren's beard. Beautiful delicate skin. Just kill red. Doran, did you see that bug?

It was a winter wasp. Must have been in the hut when I cast. I'm so sorry. Ow! Somebody bit me. Man, those things are really catch you.