Dice Shame - 2-64 | 'Mountain Oysters'

Episode Date: November 16, 2023

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Honestly, the shirtless in winter is... He's not a snack, he's a meal. Don't tell me what to do. Finally, you put a little zaz on it. I like it. Thanks, McDool. You've been to battle? What blurt did you write?

Eh, I've had better grass. He licks your hand a little. Well, here we go. Fuck your shit, Alistair. Salmon Pent. Is this OSHA certified? This is really basically a fire exit. Mari's trying to just not look down too much.

She does not like heights, and she's just, again, she's... Hey, we had one of you before. Oh, no. Don't worry, he died. But not from falling. Not from heights. Welcome back to Dice Shame. This is Season 2, Episode 64, Mountain Oysters.

And maybe this week is Nick Siegel. Nick commented on our Facebook page saying, I love this pod and you folks that make it. I've been listening since the very first episode. I can't wait for each new episode. I can't wait for the new episode each week. Best D&D podcast out there. Thank you so much for listening.

Nick, you're this week's MVP. Yeah, thanks, Nick. All right, should we do this? Yeah, let's do it. Woo! Anybody ever realize that when we do that? Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. We're kind of continuously saying,

D&D. So one of you shared in the in the chat that we have last week. We have a sneaky chat just for us and none of you can read it. Yeah, we have this chat. No Homer's allowed. We'll have one. No Alex is allowed. We're allowed to.

Oh no. And one of you shared sort of a comment and the person's comment in the picture that was shared was, you know, any setting where the elves have weaker booze than the dwarves isn't committing to the bit. And, and they know the, the idea there is that elves have lived an infinitely long time. They just live and live and live and live. And so, it's all they're good at really. It's really all they do. So they have all this time to like perfect their, you know, their, their tolerance. Whatever it is. Whether it be honey or, or. or booze, maybe not honey, honey's honey.

What's your question, Alex? So, I think it's less about a question. It's more about a discussion. Less of a question, more of a comment. Do you think that just because elves have lived longer than most other, you know, D&D species, that they therefore have the best equipment, alcohol, food like do they have the best of everything or or not you know i mean there is something to be said for species that live longer having more of an opportunity to perfect things right like if you only

have a five-year lifespan as a being you're probably not going to spend all of that time trying to perfect how to brew beer you got other shit going on this is why hamsters are so bad at sculpture. Yeah. Just the worst. By that same logic, I'd expect elephants to be better painters. Right. Right.

Yeah, right. They're going to be concerned with procreating and that's about it, right? Fucking. They just want to get busy. So here's the question, though. It's like, what is best? You know what I mean? Like, if you were to say, this is the best movie ever made, right?

In 1944, that's a very particular type. of movie. In 2023, it's a very different type of movie. And I think what maybe could be said is that a creature with an infinitely long life or however long else actually live or whatever, their version of best probably changes every 100 years or 50 years or 20 years maybe where it's like the best wine is this type of wine. And then 20 years later, the best type of wine is like this new type of wine. And what could be interesting is like a Dwarf or anyone taking a sip of that wine from that year might be like, this is fucking trash because really what you're tasting is a lineage of experiences and failures and

like understanding that fall 10 years ago was when the berries went sour and we all developed this taste for the sour wine, which kind of adds a layer to this wine this year that you wouldn't really appreciate unless you were alive 200 years ago to taste that sourberry. You know what I mean? There's a simplification taking place because we're in this fantasy world. And I don't know why it would be any different than like, you know, this art movement thinks this is the best and they're going to only use, depict the real world with straight lines and no angles. But it's some pretty shitty art if you're trying to do a realistic painting of something else, right? Like it really depends on where you're coming from and what you're trying to achieve.

and I think there are as many the best version of anything as there are cultures or peoples or movements or whatever, right? Like maybe you've got the movement of people in your fantasy world who wants to make the best synthesis of taste, wants to take the best from every culture of the elves

and the dwarves and the halflings and make the like the coolest thing together versus the purists who want to, you know, like only want the special dwarven IPAs from down under or whatever. Right, right, right. But if you, okay, if you take that on an infinite timeline like we're talking about,

okay and your goal was to synthesize this or whatever eventually you would do it and then you'd get bored and then you'd be like cool well here's another thing i i so don't agree with that like i hear that argument a lot with anything immortal of like well you do everything and eventually get bored i just don't think that's how what i'm saying is you get bored of that and you pivot that's why cubism yeah and all these different art styles were like hey that painter did this renaissance i want to do it different and then this painter's like i want to do it a little different and that's Why that progression of art is like, and what I'm saying is from an outside perspective stepping in on the elves during their cubism period and tasting their wine, which as an artist would say, based on like the lineage of styles, you can, you could pick out one of like one picture from a very influential period and go, that's trash. Because you're viewing it from an outside perspective and not seeing it within the frame. The context. The context. And I'm saying elves or long, you know, living creatures have context that I don't think best is really ever what they're after, but more so an ever evolving palate and taste and flavor of like what the fuck the next thing might be. And I would love to see what the equivalent of like hippie elves would be in the Tolkien universe for that era. Because, you know, they went through cubism at some point, and they're all wearing pastels.

Color-field motherfuckers over here. Sure, sure. Yeah. I think what you're saying and what Joe is saying are two things coming from the very same side of it. Like, I think if you had infinite time, the chances that you have preserved the context of all these different time periods before are better than someone who wasn't actually there. And so the idea that you could bring that context with you to the experience of a thing. is important. But I also think if you have infinite time, you suddenly can run the experiments on terroir and the places things are from and how things are made and do all those things

that, hey, maybe if it's a thing where you've got to age it in oak for 200 years and then do this other thing, how many times can you do that if you're a person versus if you're an elf, you have the best chance of playing with all those variables in a way that's got some consistency because you're one person doing it. Yeah, but again, I think you'd eventually you get bored and pivot and do it like if your goal as an elf is like I want to make the best table a hundred years in you're going to make what you think is the best table and then you're going to be like I need to make a new type of best table and at the end of your 900 year life you're going to have a thousand tables that look so vastly different from the beginning to the end

because the best is no longer achievable it's just different seasons you sit there depressed wishing for the end of your life because you've spent a thousand years building tables I think the meaning is in that journey where they're like, oh, I'm kidding, of course. I think for me, it's less important to think about the lifespan of a creature in this fantasy world and more important to think about that creature's predilection for the specific thing that we're talking about. Like, for example, well... It doesn't have to be booze. We'll take drinking for this example, but if in our...

fiction, dwarves are a species that are more likely to enjoy getting fucked up, then they're going to be much better as a species in inventing ways to get fucked up than a species that is maybe like a lot more into reading books, for example. You know what I mean? And there's, of course, going to be outliers. There's going to be a crazy elf who's like Kurt Cobain or whatever, who's like trying Go pain elf. Trying every new way to get messed up.

I'm on a plane. But overall. An outer plane. But overall, like if you go to a party, you're probably going to have more fun with the species that parties more. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. I definitely lost sight of the question.

It was who makes the best or who can do wine? Who would make the strongest? Who would make the strongest alcohol? That was the question? Yeah. Oh. We went on a journey. Well, he said, who makes the best?

You're like, I'm talking to cubism. He talked about the best. And to me, that changed the conversation about best. If the question is, who makes the strongest alcohol? Sorry, I went on vacation. There was lots of art museums. It's really infected my brain. I would say, yeah, I would agree with you.

What's the goal of the culture? Is the goal of the culture to make the, like, I wouldn't really think elves want to make the strongest. Maybe they do. I don't know. It seems more like, you know, that wouldn't really be. And it's funny, they do this in the movies, too, in the Tolkien movies, where, in the Tolkien movies, where Gimley drinks or whatever and then Legolas does

and he's like, I can feel it a little bit in my fingertips, remember? Because it's like he can't get drunk no matter what because he's so cool. That's like a difference in biology, right? They're arguing. Yeah, but I guess to me maybe they're arguing that because he's like a thousand years old that he's got

a better tolerance for it. I think that's kind of what they're meant to be. Maybe, maybe. Oh, I don't know. Legolas doesn't seem like the... I'm on Team Dwarves. Get drunk every day. Now I'm just thinking about the art stuff. entirely because I feel like when like the Harlan and Rob you and you were discussing like, you know, the, the elves going and doing like their cubist period and blah, blah, blah. I'm like,

I don't think they would. I think that like in these societies that, um, I always feel like that kind of like outsider art requires a lot of strife and it requires like a sudden, massive change within the structures of both like the artistic like society itself and the wider society like it's placed within. And I just don't think there would be enough upheaval to have that kind of art appear within these cultures and any sort of real like wide swath of them. Maybe one guy is out there doing something, but there wouldn't be like a movement. It would just be like, who? That guy oh my weird cousin yeah i know he just paints a weird stuff and we don't get it and that goes very much to the like the history of of the world but like as soon as i think i think the whole the way elves are

often presented in a lot of this fantasy fiction is like these snooty yeah but but maybe in the time when it was like only elves and they had their great big high elf kingdoms and there was nothing going on there was no other forces acting on them you could you could maybe make that that argument you're making of of this culture in a vacuum yeah and then as soon as soon as they start smashing into, hey, these fanatic little fast young people keep popping up and building kingdoms and trying to do magic and shit and they're good at it actually. And like, there's no way that doesn't froth up the culture of a people. And I think, like viewing it, you take a thousand years of human history and you compare it to

a thousand years of elven history. It's sort of like a zoom in, right? Like a thousand years of human history might equal a hundred thousand years of elven history. So where our period, you know, might be 100 years of art, might be 5,000 for them, at which point what we're seeing of a 5,000 year stretch of them, it seems like it's all the same note, but really that's just 100 year chunk in their lifespan the way it was for us. You know what I mean? Like it's kind of tough because you're comparing a short human lifespan to a massively long elven lifespan and trying to use the same kind of like. Yeah, but I also think that the shortness of the shortness of life allows for more mental and internal strife and for those things to allow people to create more. So hampsters are great artists. We've come back around. I see.

Hamsters make the best art. They are terrible, realistic sculptures, and they are just make the weirdest outsiders shit. And cannon fodder. Yes. Oh, no. And side note. Hamster art is so underground, you don't even get it. the mole movement these are some pretty great comments and opinions but let me just tell you

the the proper opinion so oh i'm kidding i'm kidding let me just tell you what you're wrong no but you know what i mean you guys as a dwarf as a canonical dwarf i'm not necessarily taking sides but i'm i'm going to i'm going to point put a couple thoughts out there you know have you ever been drawing a picture and you keep adding to it and you and you got this really great picture that you keep adding to but then you add to this picture and the more you add you think you're getting better until a certain point where you've added something to that picture and you added it in ink you messed it up and you can't and you can't and you've ruined drew a dick on it and you know this is kind of going back to maybe something harland mentioned earlier where you get to you may get to a point

where you're perfecting it so much that you've ruined it and now you have a different taste from what you began with and it's so acquired to your own culture that every other culture thinks, wow, what is this sour trash or whatever? Right?

So there's that point. But then, you know, there's also something to be said, now I don't know how long elves live, but there's also something to be said for at least 10 years. It's pretend. It's all pretend.

So what Nersol was saying, but was like with respect to the culture, I mean, there's something to be said about having to look back at what prior generations have done and trying to do that better. But if you've lived all those generations, it's not, you're not really, you don't really desire to do that. So I mean, I don't think that's true at all. I think you can see artists now looking back at the art they made 40 years ago and creating art in response to it. Like, everybody is constantly, you know, reflecting back and adjusting. But I think just as many people who are doing that, there's also the guy who, like, loved trains on day one and has been building model trains their whole life and will die with a paintbrush building model trains in their hand. And that was just the thing that brought them joy. And there's no, like, you don't, there's that variation between individuals also, right?

You know, and I propose this subject, not that I expect their be an answer, sort of like when we're playing a game of Dungeons and Dragons. But there is, it's dwarves. Couldn't agree with you more. Hamster wine. Realistically, if we had to come down on who makes stronger alcohol, I would say dwarves. I would say. I mean, there are

everything, everything. But what's everyone say? I actually want to know what everyone would come down on. Dwarves for sure. I think it would be dwarves. Yeah. Yeah. I think dwarves live underground where it's hard to make wheat and it's going to be somebody who lives above ground where they have the stuff. Who said they made it out of wheat? What the fuck?

you talk. You think wheat and meat, oh, God. Wow. I think cereal grains have a lot to do with how strong your alcohol is. That's just a strange technique. You're arguing like real world wheat science. Like Faye wine.

Like Faye wine doesn't fucking exist. Come on, Rob. But if you, if you, like my gut, my, the way I would, it's one of the things that's never made sense to me in fantasy. These people who live underground love making beer. a thing made with stuff only above the ground

and they're the best of it. It doesn't make sense to me. It can be dirt beer. Yeasts and molds don't exist underground. Yeah. I think it's Janassi. They're all weirdos. Yeah.

Great wine. Just wanted to be a contrarian. Sorry for being a realistic. Tabaxies. There's no right answer and that's the same way as playing Dungeons and Dragons games. Anyway, my argument is people

because we're reckless bucks and we're you know what is going to make the strongest something you know what I agree with you I agree with you

humans let's let's go play D&D yes finally the segues come through let's do it let's go woo

woo do you Dorin you're alone at the doorstep to the tunnels leading to Scarborough so close yet so far

as the way is still shut its password eluding you Against your better judgment, you've left your best friends and adventuring companions in the company of someone you assessed to be a threat, an aggressive orc who is surely up to no good. A fact underscored by the screams you now hear from the distance, your party is in trouble, and they need your help. And like a little locomotive door and comes running over the hill, head down, he's all storming, and he's got his axe, and he jumps over the ridge, and... Hell yeah, that's what I've been waiting for. A little bit of flavor.

Look, stewed tomatoes are fine, but it's just a fucking tomato. Finally, you put a little zaz on it. With his axe up above his head, he's like, wait. Whoa. You're not fighting? No, finally feeling something. I love it when my mouth is on fire. Give me some more.

He just ate like six peppers. Put your weapon down, and come enjoy some food. Don't tell me what to do. I'll lay my weapon down when I'm good and ready to. And he lays his weapon down. But on my terms. And then, yeah, he joins the crowd and a little apprehensively approaches the orc. And he says, well, I'm sorry if I was rude.

It's just, it kind of took me off guard a bit, seeing you out here like this. I mean, you know, you never know who to see in the wild. You might stumble across an owl bear or something, you know. Anyways, let me try some of your food. I'm starving. Oh, here, Doran, try this stewed tomato on toast. It's very bland. You'll love it. He serves you up the first chorus again,

catch you back up with your friends. Wow. That's a lot of flavor. As he lays the plate down in front of you, Doran, he sort of, like, looks up at you through his eyelashes, and he says, uh... I know what you're dealing with. I don't usually make friends with Dwar,

either. And I don't think anyone from my old clan would be very pleased to see me feeding this hard work, my food, to the likes of any of you. But that's not to say that I shouldn't enjoy this. And Doran's heart starts to warm a little further. And it turns from ice and begins to melt a bit as he's listening to what the orc is saying and he's thinking about his own situation about hiding, you know, his wife, Kremlin, hiding her from his family for 15 years because of their judgment and their inability to accept her as just a goblin. I had to finally abandon my station as a battlemage and follow my heart. Wow.

And that's why Mug Duel's cookbook number one came into being. Hey. So you've been to battle two? Of course. And one. He turns around and he shows you this like huge scar across his rippling back muscles. He's shirtless by the way this whole time. It should be very clear.

Wow. That's like torn. I honestly the shirtless in winter is really what's getting me like middle of you know February he's cooking up a storm it's like hot pot I guess not a snack he's a meal just a snack look at how hard his nipples are right now and Doran starts eating the soup and I feel like they get into the deep conversation about scars and he serves you guys up grilled scent ibex on a bed of cloud grass Wow

Doran the cloud grass is local to this area and something that you've definitely enjoyed previously in home cooking This is so delightfully airy It's got a real I'm trying to think of all the cooking show shit The mouth feel is so good

It's very well textured I was just going to say fucking mouth Your mouth feels a good word. Yeah, texture. Oh, the texture. Hints of anything in the world you want to put in there. Yeah. Eh, I've had better grass.

What the fuck is wrong with you? I ate everything. I'm sorry. You've got to understand. This is just one of many. Like, I've had cloud grass before. Now, the Ibex is fantastic. Thank you.

But the complexity is of flavor. I mean, I'm just, it's like, I've had cloud grass before, but this is lift. did. It's, you know, you've taken some of that, some of the incense from the Ibex and, look, you've even graded some of the antlers on top. Just a little bit. A bit of earthy, earthy texture, too. That's even worse because those horns are like basically just big toenails. You gotta eat here. Ooh, grits. Are we all eating the same food? You have a course of ashbeat and magpie Krispies and then finally to finish off.

off your meal, a radiant northern-style steamed Rufari cake. Ooh, this is cute. He unveils it almost shyly, and the scent of it waffes into your nostrils. It's sour and sweet in equal measures with like a pool of cream all around the bottom of it. Now this is where it's at. This, my friend, is talent. look at this talk about feel better cake for real fuck your shit alistair look at this well i didn't mean it that way dorin is sharing the beer that he got from deadstone cleft

oh yeah you filled up like every water skin you owned he's pouring it for the orc he's pouring it for red jack and marie and he's drinking far too much himself and i just feel like it's now getting on and he says I really feel I really want to thank you for this How can we possibly repay You for all this delicious food Well you can give me a blurb

If you like I mean it seems like you guys are Like reputable Adventures or so you've been telling me So maybe if you mean like a testimony A testimonial Yeah I mean When authors release new books

If they get like a blurb at the the back of the book that people might pick it up and think like, ooh, referee cake sounds really good, and Doran Ironfist liked it, so. Ah, we totally give you a blurb. Yeah, I got... Absolutely. We're going with the name Reds Rovers for now. I like it.

I like it. Yeah, I figured you would. Doran pulls out a page from his journal, and he scribbles down something and passes it to the orf. Oh, thank you, Doren. says the food was so delicious it took I took my mind off the fact that he's

that he's a huge menacing orc your dorn and he grabs you to his chest and he picks you up in a huge hug you know what I meant

every word of it oh wow you have a tight squeeze I've never been so touched put her there friend give me a second I don't know that I can top that blurb.

Thank you, Doren. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Druk-Tar-Tine. Gizantite? No, Doren. His name is Magdol. It's Magdil.

Mugdul. No, no, no. The password. Drew Cartine. It basically it translates to open home. Oh. Oh. Oh.

when we've been spending five hours just doing it's okay marie it's okay we got a nice meal out of it think about that if we didn't do that then we wouldn't be here marie yes here's my blurb this meal made up for waiting for five hours for everything else to happen oh my god here's my blurb the food was fantastic avoid the stewed tomato thanks red No problem, buddy. Well, I'm going to get to the dishes now, but... Where do you live? Where are you from? I don't want to talk about it.

Where did you come from? Where do you go? What did you come from? Mugdol. Mugdil, Joe. Mugdil, Joe. Wait, heading after this, friend. I'm going to head down south. I'm looking for warmer climates and the fresh spring harvest.

But, but watch out for my book. I hope it's going to come out this summer. Hell yeah. I can't wait to try the rest of these. All right. Take care, guys. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Goodbye. Oh, hey, Alist. Oh, Alistair. Oh, God. What blurt did you write? I said, it was super good. I recommend him highly as your new personal chef.

I don't think he's a personal chef, Alistair. It was a dirty limerick. There once was an orc named Mugdul. Whose dick was used like a tool. Oh, no. Whose food would make you drool. Yeah, that's not dirty enough. That's exactly what I was going.

Whose food was so good it would make your mouth drool. A limerick. Too many syllables. We're all right to the woods. Oh, all you remember, let's head back to the door. You head back to the mountain pass and stand in front of this formidable stone door. All five of us. Red, Doran, Mark.

Jack and our best friend Elester Oh god, he's still here Stop trying to hold my hand You're so clammy I get lonely We're right here

All right Doran Take us home All right Well here we go And Doran steps up to the door And he looks like he's About to raise his hands and say it And you might almost expect him

To say it in some loud, boisterous command And he goes But he walks up He goes Drittart Tyne get it over with it very matter-of-factly and the door just kind of opens with all the grandiosity the door inlacked the door swings wide on invisible hinges

and reveals a mountain pass that heads up to scarborough I fucking hate being underground beyond the stone doors that guard the way to scarborough from the surface dwellers. A set of carved stone stairs leads down into the rock face of the mountain, into the darkness.

Once the light from the winter sun has diminished to a dim hole at your backs, the doors grind closed behind you and lead you to travel the path through the underdark towards Doran Iron Fist's homestead. I don't like being on the ground, Marri. I don't know how much you and I have been under here yet.

I mean, Marie's sort of looking around. She's just thinking about the fact that, like, when she joined, she did not expect there to be just, like, this much time, like, in a sewer, underground, like, and just, you're welcome. Yeah, I don't know. And she's, she's taken off the dark vision goggles, and she's doing that thing with them, like, like, the, like, you're rubbing them on her coat because they're so smudged.

Oh, no. And she's like, Red, I don't know. I mean, I'm not a, I can't say that I want to be down here either, but this is, this is for Doren and his family. Just give me sky. Lots of sky. Look, Sue is a one thing. And even underground gnomish settlements are another. But this, this stone, this feels like, like, like I'm being suffocated a little bit.

All right, all right. It's like, puts his hand on the wall. Doran's kind of walking ahead of the three of you, four of you, and he's, oh, God, right. Elister Shit Don't worry He puts his hand on the wall But he touches

Elster's face Who's standing right next to him Oh Your face is so greasy Alistair doesn't even move He just smiles underneath your hand He looks your hand a little Yeah he's like creepy

Why is your mouth so wet He's smelling your feet Stop looking your lips Anyway let's keep going My tummy's a little upset From all that mug dual food Dorin's walking ahead of the three of you And he turns back

listening to Mari's comment about how it's... Well, yeah, Marie's comment and Red's comment and he says

you know compared to some of the places we've been this is beautiful and he's kind of looking up and he says look, look yeah I get it

you guys are thinking oh you know this isn't that great but wait until you see just how magnificent this city actually is because I mean you know okay

this corridor isn't much to talk about but it's finally carved and you have to remember this is really basically a fire exit because this is really very rarely used unless of course you got fire exit Dara and Red Lake walks up do you mean to say that if there's a fire

underground you leave underground well I'm just saying sometimes there have been instances I say fire exit could be flood exit I'm just saying there has been instances if there's a flood underground you You just leave on the ground? It's nothing to, nothing for you to worry about.

Like earthworms after rain. You always want to have an emergency exit. Do you understand? Water-longed dwarves just like lying on the meadows gasping for air. Just pouring out. Well, you know, it's like foxes. You get that right, right? I mean, you're tabaxi.

Foxes, tabaxi. Oh, totally. But we don't live on the ground. No, I guess what I'm saying is you always dig through. You got two, you have to have at least two exits. Building code. I put it this way. It doesn't really matter.

Yeah, totally. I guess my point is, don't judge so quickly and follow me. It's going to be, we're going to get there soon enough. It seems so eager to get home. I could believe that Dors would have, like, fantastic building code, that they would stick to, like, some rigid rules. And they'd be like, is this OSHA certified? Yeah. Overground

Make sure that we have an entrance to the overground Yeah The over dark, the over light All right, all right Well, you lead the way I'm getting my bearings It's been a few hours now I'm feeling a little

A little better Yeah, yeah Well, I'll tell you this much You really have very little to worry about We're in the home of the Dwarven Kingdom For at least the Iron Fis And a few of the other major major clans at least

at least it was it you know a couple decades ago what are you looking forward to the most well I guess you know what you know at this stage of things I think I'm just looking forward to the confrontation and getting it over with because for a long

time I've been traveling and avoiding this for long enough I suppose gonna happen at some point so I'm really just looking forward to But how do you see? Cotterize the wound? Yeah, exactly.

Just get it over with and tear the bandages off. I was going to go rip the bandaid off, but I was like, Band-Aids aren't a thing. What the hell's a Band-Aid? Oh, you mean, do a cure wound? Yes. You know how painful it can be when you have a wound starting to heal? Wrap with the healing staff.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I get that. Jack quite literally gets that right now. Yeah. But, you know, I'm sort of letting the adrenaline push me because I'm not really looking forward to it. I have no idea what any of my family or friends are going to say, if they're even still friends, or if they didn't consider me family. Sounds like best not to think too hard of it until we're there and figure out the rest of the path there.

What's up ahead? Yeah, well, we're going to be going through some tunnels, crossing some bridges. We'll see some stairwells and staircases, some crevasses, underground lakes, rocks, lots of rock. Lakes. Mushrooms. And he takes a sip of his wine. And the city. Your footsteps echo in the dark.

As a cavern opens up to your right, the sheer side of the path you travel drops off into a cliff. Pebbles your feet dislodge, sense skittering down into who. who knows what depths. While overhead, stalactites hang threateningly in dripping columns. Oh, watch your step here. It's a long drop. Hello! Don't, don't mention it.

Mari's trying to just not look down too much. She does not like heights, and she's just, again, she's... Hey, we had one of you before. Oh, no. Don't worry, he died. But not from four. Not from heights. I don't know if it would be comforting in the like darkness using dark vision that

you're like vision just fades to darkness after 60 feet no matter what direction you look up down like so there's a fall there you know it's further than 60 feet. You don't have to think about anything beyond that. She's she's looking very disorienting. The problem is that every time she looks her brain tries to sort of like correct itself into thinking that this is like a night sky and she just can't see stars anywhere. So there's this endless blackness and it just, it's kind of frightening. Further on, an ancient lava flow has created a winding worm-like crevasse

whose bottom still emanates the electric orange glow of molten rock. The air down here is thick and warm and smells of sulfur. Mmm. Sometimes I wish I could take off my fur. Red sits down and like tightens one of his leg braces. It's been a while since I've smelt the molten lava of under dark. Delicious. Just delicious.

I'll tell you, there's really something about invigoring that does bring me back to my childhood when I smell these smells. and hear the way your voice echoes but then dies quickly and just be careful you know keep those goggles on Marikas one wrong strap what do you mean be careful you just yelled out echo and dies and you look at red and he's got like

a raw piece of chicken on a stick and he's holding it over the molten just like trying to cook it but he's like trying to stay really far away because his hair keeps singeing He's like, God, this is tough. Come on, be serious, darn. I'm just saying,

keep those dark goggles on because of one wrong step, and you'll be plummeting hundreds of meters into the deep, dark caverns of the Great Peak Mountains. It basically never ends. Wow.

Hey, remember when we went to that Myconid wedding? It's really cool. Yeah. Myconids, they communicate through spores, so they, like, launch big clans. And you breathe them in, and then they can speak to you telepathically. Yeah.

Huh. I used to just farm mushrooms, but okay. Yeah, you don't eat them. These ones are people. So we also snatch the number hulk eggs? Yeah, Shale. Hi, Shale. Red turns and Shales are standing behind him.

Did you? See you later. And he's just gone again forever. I was going to say, I think you left Shale with someone along the way. He's there what I want him to be. He's like a, he's like a, you know what I need? I need a familiar spell. Find familiar.

It's just called fine shale. Summon pet. Disman pet. Mm-hmm. Disman pet. Yeah, except he's not magical. He's just regular. It's not how you do it.

You know what I need to do? I need to make a secret portal just for him. But yeah, he's back in water deep. Tormenting the copper cup? Yeah, Torin's watching him. Red says it and kind of looks around. Oh. Anyway, let's keep going.

Yeah. It's this way. Doren points. down. Dorn leads you to a bridge, which crosses the lava stream far below. The stone of the bridge is in ill repair, and it looks somewhat dangerous. On the opposite side, you spot a group of figures. They seem to be gathered in a circle.

Their murmured conversation echoes off of the cavern walls, but is too low to be distinct. Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters Adam Frye, Amanda Kitchener, Amy Gaza, Anne Atholagoth, Cecil Lee Wilson, Jerry Rose Anderson, Christopher, Colin Burckhart, Crowe, Casey. D.S. Dippity, Elizabeth H, Flynn, Gareth Bradshaw, Haley, Haley again, Harper the Marks, Indrid Hartley, Jekyll, J.D., Joy Robinson, Jewry, K.R., K. K.M., Kade, lasagna, last Ruth on the left, Leader J, Lizzie Demon, Lorelei Feldman, Matilda Rushing, Melinda Curley, Moon, Melissa, Merlin, Sam C, Reagan, Wren, Ruth Ann Reed, Scotty, S. Ray 96, Tony Pepperoni, Zander Morning Dove, Zephyrus, and Zach House. There once was an arc named Mugdull, whose food so good made your mouth drool. We thought he'd attack because the axe on my back, but the taste reminded me not to be a fool.