Dice Shame - 2-65 | 'A Cold Send-Off'

Episode Date: November 23, 2023

Imagine your best game of D&D. The shocks, the twists and turns, the moments that can’t be caught because you just had to be there. That’s Dice Shame.Join our DM Jo, her husband Harlan, their brother Alex & their best friends Rob and Alex as they experience those unmissable, gut-wrenching, heart-aching, joy-filled moments.This legendary AP releases a brand new episode every Thursday morning at 1:20 am!Content Warning: animal death, swearing, violence, claustrophobiaPart of the Rusty Quill Network Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

One of us dies, we all go. I feel like I was doing combat at my sleep. I could probably sneak out there. Red, you're very persuasive. I'm sure you can talk us past it. Murray's going home. Just be careful crossing that bridge. How hard could that be?

What are you doing here? I've had enough. How to get petrified. God, look, look, look, look. It's very rude of him. It's so, so smart. The hell, why didn't you blow him up? Oh, Critic.

Whoa! Hit! Hey! Hey, wow, Doran. What happens next? Well, I'm going to roll double my... We're going to find out after these commercial breaks. After these messages.

Welcome back to Dice Shane. This is Season 2, Episode 65, a cold send-off. This week we're celebrating Claire Bennett and her unnamed husband as our combined MVP. Claire said that they're dashing to catch up with the show, listening together at dinner time. That is so freaking adorable. You guys are a couple goals. They're currently on episode 101,

so whenever you hear this, thanks so much for listening. Thanks, Claire and hubby. All right, should we play some D&D? Yeah, let's do it. Woo! Uh, really quick, just because, I don't know. You know, we played D&D, so it's related tangentially.

But for those who aren't aware, because I was not that aware. It's a game. But Wizards came out with a new expansion book. Big Bee presents Glory of the Giants. So very, like, related to our shit, right? And I kind of have, well, before this, I kind of had a standing like, oh, you know what, we'll take a look at the books and buy the ones that are important because we play a D&D podcast.

It's kind of justifiable. but this one normally the books are like 60 bucks this one they up the price going forward of these books it's 78 fucking dollars

what so much money I don't know if I'm just old I honestly thought you were going to say $200 or something you're like 60 to 70 but listen it's under 200 pages like it's not yeah yeah it's not

you know and I don't I mean this isn't going to make in the show I just want to talk about it must record no you should put it in the show fuck these kids guys. Put wizards on blast. We're going to play mazes, labyrinths and griffons. You joke, but a lot of, like, fellow D&D shows haven't moved away from D&D because

of some of the shit they've been doing. Totally. All that aside, because there's lots of to talk about there, but that's crazy, almost $80 for, like, and it says it's like one subclass, two backgrounds and some feats and then like giant stuff, but that's already kind of in Storm King's Thunder. and apparently they're increasing the price of all their books going forward just like across the board

it's kind of it's also the one where somebody used AI art to fill in details of their art yeah I did see that well you know what let's just download it well they're businesses I mean whatever if you leave all this in then they'll send Pinkerton's to your house that is yeah they're probably on the way right now

yeah we're not even live their cross border reach is really impressive you die on the show you die in real life. Hey, it was my favorite album. Regardless, I just thought it was really interesting. Yeah. The price of everything these days, a lot of things these days are ridiculously priced.

Yeah. Milk, gas. Yeah, but this isn't even like just Canada because that's, I mean, you're right. But my D and D? Well, even my D and D. Regardless, they're not doing the souls any favors. I think a lot of other. I'm just like, again, an adventure book that's coming out, Fandelver and below, it's like

78 and 95. It's like another dollar they needed there. It's a lot. It's crazy. And again, because I'm D and D. Oh, Dungeonneer.

Filled with rage. I'm not filled with rage honestly, I'm just disappointed because I like owning their book. You hear that? You hear that Wizards of the Coast? He's not angry.

He's just disappointed. Well, because I'm not going to buy it. Like I would be angry if, I don't know, maybe I was like somebody who needed every, I'd just be like, oh, okay. Well, that's a not buy. And I'm just disappointed

because I would have bought it had it been 15 bucks, cheaper, you know. Of course. They lost money. Every time we record, fucking Marvin calls it immediately. I know. What do you mean? So funny.

Post in the Dyshame General screenshot of Discord with us all online. He's like, I see you guys recording. Well, I've had D&D a lot on the brain lately because I've been playing Baldersgate 3. Yeah, me too. I know, Rob, you've been diving in two. Almost done part one. We're getting there. I there's no I thought there would be like an announcement like you know entering act two or whatever right but I was like oh you know there's got to be like I must be kind of rounding this thing down and I checked like the playtime you know how long to finish it is like 75 hours and I'm at like maybe 20 at most I think I'm at 15 or 16 but I'm also one of the points where I'm like any minute now they're not going to let me go back so I better do everything before I like maybe maybe

Maybe, you know, because it's not really well flagged as though and like, this is the point in no return. No, but man, is it fantastic. I mean, I got to say, it's so good. It's such a great version of Dungeons and Dragons. Like, it's different, obviously, than being around the table for many, many reasons. But it does, you know, like combat doesn't take three hours.

It takes time, but it doesn't take three hours. But, man, I'm really loving it. How much saves coming do you get up to, Rob? Um, not a ton. I'm not as good. I have moved the auto save button somewhere very close to my mouse so I can click it quite a bit, but I often will forget in the moments where it'll be in a big fight and I get to the end of it.

And I'm like, oh, I actually didn't want to kill that person or I didn't want to have this at all. But now it's a tall hour to go back. No, thank you. I feel like, well, I mean, I save scum a ton and I openly do it. I don't really care. I don't save scum in real life D&D, so you better believe I'm going to save scum in a fucking video game version. But I'm also playing a rogue.

So, like, the amount of times I'm like, you know what, save scum. Let's just see what's in this person's pockets. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, they caught me? I don't really want to fight every fucking get the Yankee in this. Let me just reload. I was just curious. Yeah.

I love the idea of safe scumming in D&D where it's just like, you turn a corner and there's like 48 bandits. And you're just like, ooh, um, actually. Nope, next corner. I really, but it's funny, though. And it's something that I think we should, I would love to see more of in this. scenario where you're in a place, you know, so often we're in like a town, but it's like a friendly town. So you wouldn't start a fight because every single thing would just, you know, turn on you and it doesn't really morally make sense. But I like the idea that they use a lot

in Baldur's Gate where you're typically in a town of like enemies where you don't really want to get along with them and maybe you're forced to, but you're kind of in the position where you kind of have to play along or do what they say because you couldn't beat every single person in the town, the outnumbered aspect. Part of it that I am a little chagrin about is that also, like, as soon as a fight starts in there and the whole village of goblins has decided you're an asshole and they're going to kill you, everybody instantly gets the memo. Everyone knows all of us.

There's no going through a door down a hallway and somebody had no possible way of hearing you. You don't get to be like, hey, what the fuck just happened over there? Like, there's no, like it's, we're fighting now. 100%. I want to kill every single person in an entire part of the game that you're not. that at yet because I wanted to kill one who deserved it way at the end. This is how genocide begins.

I mean, it's snowballs really. And I'm like, chomping my uterus. I guess not. Every door I open is like, and some of them are like youth. I'm like, okay. You killed my father. Don't love this. Oh my God.

I've got to kill this 12 year old. They literally have a youth in their name. It's like youth blank and they're just running at me and I'm like, okay. Child soldiers, men. Fireball, fireball. Not even the most problematic thing. going on there that's for sure but everyone's playing it it's so funny to see my steam list like yeah i don't think i've ever seen as many people playing a game i mean obviously my circle of friends

who i game with clearly have similar things three different people that i work with are playing it but it's been in the lab today it's had the most concurrent players i think of anything on steam right like it's yeah i know which is i'm i'm surprised frankly uh you know especially for like the third one in the series but it reminds me of like fallout three you know fallout one and and two kind of had their time, but no one really got into it until three hit, or not, not no one, but then it blasted everywhere. The three in there is just the name, though. Like maybe I know there's a couple of characters that show up in Baldur's Gate that

were in the first one or whatever. Oh, I have no idea. But to me, it's got the cultural impact, you know? Yeah, that's like, that's the point. It's not, it's just to use the, it's 20 years later and we're going to use the property. We have more people listening to D&D podcasts now than ever before. The D&D movie just came out. And I think there's a lot of people who are part of, like, the cultural movement, but don't have a friend group that they can play with or, like, they want to feel like they're part of it, but they don't play D&D.

Yeah, a super safe way to put your toe in the water and be like, what is this actually? Exactly. My coworker, she said she's on like hour 70 of this game already. And she's like, I've never played D&D before. I listen to Critical Role. I know kind of what Dungeons and Dragons is about. I'm so into this game. It's funny.

I was reading like a thread on Reddit and it was like, and it was like, what do you think players who end up liking Baldur's Gate 3 and then going to D&D expecting it to be similar, what are they going to be most disappointed by? And the two top answers were the amount of time combat takes and the fact that most of the time not going to get to fuck your fellow player characters.

Because for some reason, and I really don't know why. It is a very horny game. Not with that attitude. Yeah, exactly. But all, for some reason, there's a huge sexual element in Baldur's Gate 3, which I was kind of taken aback by. It's not really my jam when playing D&D.

I get that it's there. I appreciate that it's there. I think it's kind of cool. Like they hired intimacy coordinators and everything, though, to like, we want to choreograph these sex scenes and have them be interesting and have them.

Really? I didn't even know they went that for. Yeah, yeah. There's a whole thing. They hired a bunch of folks to sort of step through all of those romances and all of the other like bits so that they're framed in a professional,

interesting way. I feel like adventuring, it would be horny. Yeah, if I was, if I was an adventurer, but when we're playing as adventurers, it's not, you know, the Jack Red combo isn't going to happen on, in-kick. Well, I mean, episode 200's coming up, guys. We need something big, literally. We've passed 200.

That's, well, maybe this will come before that, but no, you're not wrong. Oh, wait, no, we have passed 200. Yeah. 250's coming up. 250, the musical episode slash horny episodes. Oh, my God. But you're not wrong. D&D bigger than ever and has... You know what they should do?

They should raise the price of books and make a real killing... Anyway, let's play. Yeah, let's play. Let's play. Let's get horny. Let's get horny. Let's play some sex, dungeons, and dragons. Horny version.

We've been influenced by Baldersgate. That's right. Doran has led you to this subterranean cavern on the way to Scarborough. stand at one side of a bridge below which magma glows in the darkness. On the opposite side, you spot a group of figures. They seem to be gathered in a circle. Their murmured conversation echoes off of the cavern walls, but is too low to be distinct.

Rally up, Red says, and crouches in the darkness. How far away are they roughly? They're about 120 feet away from you. Is the light from the lava lighting this place up, or is that just sort of a dim glow? Yes, I would say this, this cavern is dimly lit from below. Interesting. Spooky shadows. Oh, and red turns to the others.

I can read lips, you know, from far away. Oh! But, well, I mean, I mentioned it before, but more what I'm getting at is ever since last night, since I woke up. I felt like I've had this ability that maybe if I, you know, really focus, I can be almost as invisible as the shadows. My ability is like one round, right? That's right. I feel like that's six seconds. Correct.

It's exactly six seconds. Do you know, it's funny you say that. My sleep last night was sort of weird as well. And during like flexes and says, I feel like I feel like I was doing combat in my sleep. Like I've got new moves. Oh, no. All right. All I mean to say is I could probably sneak up there, go invisible, see if there's

anything important, and then come back and report. If we think it's important, or we could just go. I mean, they're in our way anyway. You know what? I'm overthinking it. Well, I... Let's move up. Yeah, you know, I can't imagine that, you know, there's going to be any enemies under here.

I mean, this is dwarven territory as far as I recall. But Thorne looks at the bridge, and I think seeing that it's in distribution, kind of puts two and two together and then retracts his statement he says you know mind you it's not very common to see such a bridge and such disrepair i mean you you would have think that somebody would have come across here at some point and fix this up i don't know that look maybe we're overthinking it we don't have anything that they want we don't want anything from them there's no reason unless they're asking for a toll and if they were they should be on this side of the bridge Red kind of peaks and see them on the far side of the bridge.

Maybe we just pass. I mean, there's no reason, you know, Doran, you've walked these places a hundred times, you know, there's nothing valuable on the other side. And worst case, Red, you're very persuasive. I'm sure you can talk us past it, no problem. That's super persuasive, of course. Jack pulls out his spellbook and is, like, flipping through the last, like, page of hastily scrawled notes, a concerned look on his face.

Let's go see what they have to say. Well, I suppose the other concern that I, have is not just the people on the side, but also getting across this bridge might I suggest that we tie each other together because it's one thing to fall into some

water. Red's like already like 20 feet away, like walking across the bridge. He's just talking to himself. Um, I think we should tie ourselves up, Red. What? So if one falls over, we all fall over? It's a perfect idea and you should all do it immediately.

It's TPK no matter what. Well, it's one thing to fall water. It's another thing to fall in mud. It's another thing entirely to fall into that lava. Or some might call it magma. If one of us dies, we all go. Red eyes, the magma. Does it look legitimately hot? Tretcherous, the bridge? It looks like if you stepped off of the bridge, you would fall, but it doesn't look like... What the fuck? Of course. If you hear us about the side, you will die. If you jumped off the edge, you'd fall. What I mean to say is, Gravity seems to be in effect. Fuck all of you.

There are holes in the stonework, and if you misplace your feet, you're going to be fucked. But it doesn't look like it's like at this moment crumbling to sand. All right. Ah, we'll be fine, Doran, and Red walks forward. As Red walks by, Marie puts a hand on a shoulder,

and she casts guidance in that moment. Oh, thanks, Mari. Doran's staying there with a rope as you guys all walk away and he's like, well, I get and he just jans the rope back into his backpack because everybody ignores him.

He's like, all right, fine. Just be careful crossing that bridge. There's lots of holes in it. Dwarves do this all the time. The dwarf and train. That's what they call it. Two of these guys got misty stepped door and it really is just you and me here.

It's just standard practice by OSHA down here. I mean, you know, at the end of the day, you've got to tie off when you're at heights, you know? It's the under dark, safe, hazard approach. Oh, I love that.

Very good. Do you have inspiration, Alex? I do. Damn it. Oh, bummer. Thanks, though. You give us all inspiration last, but I'm going to be using it.

Okay, Red, you walk forward towards this bridge. Just fucking casual strolling, or what's your strategy here? Just normal men? Just anything red? Just normal red. Cool.

I'm assuming everyone's following, right? Yeah. Or am I doing this alone? I like that everyone's following Red and Red is the only one with guidance. Well, I'm going to do the talking. All right. Red, you stand at the, I guess, close side of the bridge. You see that there are large chunks of it missing through which this magma light shines up.

Magma light. Cool, yeah. And Red starts walking across and he's going to kind of be keeping eyes on the people on the far end. until they see him and then once they see him he'll just stop and kind of put his hands up so I don't know how far I get until that happens

Redd a human turns towards you you're about halfway across the bridge his face is bathed in a strange glow from this magma and you can just see as he turns there's a huge egg behind him sort of in the middle of where

all these people are standing oh you must feel better after laying that Red says disarmingly. Come on, everyone's got humor. Does Doren see this? Definitely, yep. Do I recognize what these creatures are or what they're doing? Like, is this something that Doren might know from being here before?

Dorn, you don't recognize these people or their activities at all, really. You can roll a nature check if you like. Let's do it. It's pretty good. that's going to be a a 19 straight up far towards the rear of this party

you spot a dragon wormling I thought that's what it was Doran whispers and a loud you know like you do a loud whisper yell stage whisper yeah hey Doran

I'm hey red I'm Doran. Is this a spectacular mental breakdown just in front of you guys? Red, it's Doran here. They have a, they have a dragon wormling. Okay, okay. It's probably a dragon egg.

Right. Could be difficult. Anyway, so Red said what he said as a disarming light tone. The man almost cracks a smile at you. Hail. He calls at you from across the bridge. Hail, and well met. Red takes a step forward

My name is Red, handed Robin This is my best friend Jack My best friend Mari That's Elmort bottle river knockoff And that there is Longstrider Long strider We call him in the back And he points to Doran

Not knowing who's still hunting Doran Yeah Doran Doren turns around like looking behind him And then points at himself With a confused look Yeah Longstrider he's a mute He's a mute And he smiles and nods

Oh wait no I guess he already yelled out No mind Yes longstrider He's proud of his name Who might you be friends A second figure Steps out from behind the group And comes around the front

To address you Clearly the figurehead He's dressed somewhat more elegantly Than the rest We are servants Of the great worm Clarion Oh. Well met, Red.

I am Norik's Maganti. Well, Norik, lovely name. You mind if we come over and Red sort of steps over in front of him and gestures for his friends to follow. As Mari walks by, she looks at Jack and she goes, great worm, huh? Sounds like I try to describe my shitty ex

and keeps walking. It's not even a good joke. It's not worth it. Like, that you regretted it of me. Now, you regret it before you finish the last word. So now it's decent. Like my old accident, no, never mind. Cut that word.

Keep my regret. Keep everyone peek behind the curtain. I guess they're okay. Yeah, come on over, everyone. We know who Clarion is with Doran's fuming. So you got a big egg there. Safe to say that's a Clarion egg then? If you are followers of her?

It? He? I don't know. Is Clarion a he, she, they? I don't actually know. I think it's a she. This dude is going to try to kind of take the temperature of the group here. Good luck. We're surrounded by magma. Depending on... Magma can first disadvantage to all insight roles. It does occupy the mind to be standing over magma. This egg and others were lain by the great Clarion some time ago. but have since been petrified.

And he casts a look over his shoulder regretfully at this egg. I think Doran's struggling to hide his emotions when he hears the name Clarion. Like it sticks out in his mind like tales because this has been told to him for years and years and years. This is like the name, right? Well, I mean, we'll leave you to it. obviously we don't want to hold you up to whatever you're doing and red goes to move past them sure and dorin too how to get petrified red like stops as jack asks doesn't matter jack let's just keep going it seems that the petrification was intended to keep her young from hatching without drawing her eye he gestures at the silver dragon wormling that they have with the party Well, that's sure a real dragon over there. Yes.

Once we revive and hatch the wormlings, we will see to it that the malicious parties are held accountable. And at that, Doran stops malicious parties that, what, petrified an egg to stop the dangerous beast child from hatching? Beast child. Daron. Dorn. I think you're overstepping a little bit. Let's just leave these nice dragon cultists to their own stuff. Let me guess, dwarf.

You are on your way to Scarborough. Its denizens are probably responsible for this insult against Clarion herself. And here you stand in the depths of dwarven ancestors, raising the great Clarion's kin, as if it were some heroic beast, but in reality, it's just another detestable animal that eats people. Doran, you're letting your blood pressure rise. Leave it alone.

All of this dwarven ancestry you speak of is little else but an insect infestation to the true homeland of the great dragon. Ellister is trying to sneak by, pressing his back against the wall. He, like, bumps into the dragon wormling that, like, snorts at him. In my mind, it's almost like, well, I'm actually, neither dwarves nor dragons were part of the five creator races originally from the appearance. Oh, my God, check.

Mari's just gripping Doran's shoulder and her hands just getting colder. She's very gently casting shape water. It's freezing any water that's on her skin, just being like, Doran, I swear to God. I swear to Eldath, I will freeze everything in here if you don't shut up. Red throws his hands up and he's like, ah, look, look, look, look. You have to expect to have run across one or two dwarves while being down here searching for, you know, the dragons young,

which decimated the Dwarven Village. Tempers are going to get hot. There's no reason for them to escalate, right? Right, right, friends? Let us just leave you to your work, and we'll go on our way, too. Dory kind of turns to red and he looks a little annoyed and he's and he's giving you knowing looks and sort of like nods like we could take these guys

We could take them I know we can take them right now And he's looking at Mari and looking at her eyes and looking at Jack He's all knowing looks It's like looking at Mari like knowing look like do you want to Mari gives such a withering look at this point Doran's rolling his eyes I don't know what withering means

Doren, that's a real dragon over there. And then Red looks at Jack, like, kind of like raising his eyebrows. I don't want to fight the dragon. Dorn walking backwards begins to step away from the group, continuing down the hall where we were headed. Backwards, though. You know. Like you're walking away from a fight.

Through the difficult terrain of the mountains, sure-footed as a goat. Come at me. What? What? Come, come, come. As you pass through this strange party, you recognize Jack that they begin a ritual where they stand. The four cultists begin to draw a circle on the ground in order to heal this condition. Yeah, it's not a problem.

They're just right there on the path. What are they doing? What are they doing, Jack? Mari. Well, exactly what they said they were going. going to do. Make that not a stone egg. Yeah.

What happens when it hatches? I use one more silver dragon warbling. We could stop it right now, guys. Come on. Dorn's like whispering and like fuming. He's got his hand gripping the

shaft of his axe on his back. And and and Ork splitter is like, I'm so hungry. I want blood. Big age. Let's just get the hell out of here. Enjoy your little ritual, boys, and red turns to leave.

We will. Come on, Doren. And tell the denizens of Scarborough that they should expect a wrath such as never seen before from the dragon Clarion when her young are returned to her. Well, now you've gone one too far. Oh, no. I've had enough.

Doran's eyes fill with blood as he starts to see red. Not red, red, but he starts to see... What is this new ability? He's a horny toad. He squirts blood from his eyes when he gets threatened. All right, dickweed. No one threatens our friends' families. Except for our friends.

Except for our friend when he's angry. Dorn's going to turn and initiate attack. Roll for initiative. All right. Everyone roll for initiative. Stupid fuck. I'm attacking. You better roll for initiative.

No, you. No, you. No, you. Oh, it was a shitty roll. Good thing I got that out of the way. I think this might be the highest role I've ever had for initiative somehow. Really? Braggie, braggie.

Well, normally, like, I feel like I'm just, like, permanently always like, I rolled a four, like, every time. All right. Jack, what'd you get? I rolled a natural 20 for a 22. Oh, yeah. Doran. Six. Who are you, me?

He trips turning around. Oh, no. Red. Seven. Mari. 21. All right. Jack, why don't we start off the combat with you?

Yeah, Jack pulls out Desan's wand a little nervously and gives it a swish and a flick. and the mage armor that he normally has on all the time to protect himself finally looks like it comes into place. So he's... That's it? What the hell? Why didn't you blow him up? That's perfect fireball location, Jack! Mari's too close.

No, she's not... What? And Mari sort of like whips around. And Jack sort of squeezes through Red and Doran to get a little bit of space between him and the magma and the cultists. Towards not a cliff face. Excellent. So we've got Elster, Jack, Doran, Red, all kind of gathered at the north end of this, like, platformy area.

Mari, you're super close to the cultists. Boy am I. Thanks, guys. It's your turn. What do you do? You put your pawn there. I don't blame on. I didn't think of it.

We all moved them. You bastards, we're all going to be certain. Here's my strategy. I'm going to hang out with the bad guys. So I'm actually on their side now. I'm going to, I'm going to, they seem cool. They got a dragon and everything. So Mari watches Jack turn around and she sees all these guys.

She concentrates very hard and thinks of the lake that she had been picturing before and the waters. And in her head, the water starts to pick up and churn and royal. And she slams her hand onto the ground. And I'm going to cast Maelstrom. Whoa, what the fuck is that? It's going to create a big 30-foot radius centered on a point that I can see within range, and it's a swirling mass of five-foot deep water. Ooh, very cool.

This is so chunky. You can fucking kill everyone. And all those guys need to do a, I'm going to kill everyone here. I can't help but remember the time that you almost put water on a fire in the house, and Dorn was like, no, no, you'll steam us all like crabs. Luckily, we're not indoors. There's fire exits here. There is on the other side of the bridge, I think, is where the fire exit was.

So that'll be fine. Fire and water exits. There's enough space in here, though. This is great because we have this issue now with the fire and the water. All these guys need to do a strength saving throw for me. Okay. I'm assuming also the egg. Does the egg do a strength?

Does it do a saving throw? It's petrified. It's just a bunch of rock. It doesn't have an HP or an AC. It's just an object right now. That's going to get pulled 10 feet toward the center of the circle. Oh. So, and then all those guys have to do a strength saving throw for me.

And if they fail it, they also get pulled 10 feet towards the center. Also, they are all going to be taking damage. We have three cultists. I'm going to call them cultists. They rolled a 15 collectively. on their strength save. They all fail. Nice.

And the cult Lidor. Ooh, rolled a 22 strength save. That saves. Finally, the dragon wormling also 15. So fails. So also fails. Nice. So everyone who failed that is moved 10 feet towards the center point because there's

basically just a big, it's a big whirlpool that's happening. So she sort of scoots behind red. I'm just going to stand back there to stay out of the way. Hey, Mari. You, are you, what are you doing here? It's their turn. These three cultists get dragged into the center of this whirling water. And through the heat of the steam and the pummeling bludgeoning of the rain,

they take how much damage? 22 points of damage. Fuck, first of all. And as they take this damage, Mari, their eyes start to glow white, and they begin to shoot these bolts of energy at you in retribution for this attack. You need to make three dexterity saving throws, please. Oof. Oh, yeah.

The first one was an eight. That's not good. Okay, the second one was a 23. Oh, yeah, that'll do it. My last one was a 20, so my first one was terrible. And my other two were okay. Way to go. Mari.

You need to be dexterous and save that. Mari, you take 12 cold damage. No. As one of these bolts finds your flesh and starts to freeze you. Mari, make a concentration saving throw? 17. Yeah, you're good. Nice.

Ooh, excellent. Save the toilet bowl. So this is difficult to rain, correct? Yes. The whirling maelstrom. Yes, it is. One of the cultists bravely makes his way to the outside of the maelstrom, just by sheer force of will, it would appear. He then opens his mouth and roars at this terrifying brachonic sound.

Uh-oh. Yikes. Creatures within a 20-foot cone. I believe that's all of you. Red, Doran, Mari, Jack, and Elister, you must all make a dexterity saving throw, please.

Wonderful. Glad to do it. Mari, would you get? 21. Success, Red, would you get? 24. Doran, what'd you get? 17.

Success, Jack, would you get? 12. Fail. Elister rolled a natural. one. Oh no, Elster. Poor guy.

Everyone who failed takes 20 cold damage. You are frightened by this cultist for one minute. So being frightened, you are going to have to move away from this creature on your turn. Jack.

And Elster, who's down to seven whole hit points. Oh, no. Oh, boy. Ooh. We should have taken him home. now we're like dragging them along poor kid from within the center of this maelstrom

the other two cultists begin to take flight and with a 60 foot movement speed they're both able to get outside of the range of this maelstrom on their turns one of them hoves into view towards you the other

moves to the northeast and is flying above the magma it's the cult leader's turn he's going to make a save against this maelstrom with a 20

that saves wonderful it's very rude of him I prefer if he was just getting pummeled by the water that would be nice to have I cast this spell for you about that. Be flushed.

I cast this spell. Please respond. I cast this for you. Left you unsaved. He is going to move outside of the maelstrom, and then he will use his action to direct one of his followers to take an action for him. Ooh, take an action for me. I can't be bothered.

Oh, my God, my boss. He keeps asking me to do this stuff. Red, the cultist that is directly in front of you reaches out and tries to touch you. Make a constitution saving through. Natural one. Red, you are affected by an elemental bane, which means you take an extra 2D6 damage

against cold damage and if you had resistance to cold damage you you've lost that as well which i don't the first time each turn the affected target takes damage of the chosen type the target takes an extra 2d6 damage of that type so it's only if i get hit with cold damage that you take extra 2d6 perfect so i just don't get hit again easy how hard could that be yeah that'll be fine That's what I'm good at. What could a banana cost? $10? Ten gold pieces.

What's a banana? Are there bananas in D&D? Yeah, they call them yellowies. What? Like oranges, but yellowies? Very good. We'll call it a yellowie. Just a yelly for short.

I love yellies. I'm going to start calling them. Just see what people say. I love yellowie. milkshakes? Red, it's your turn. When they were casting, did they speak? Were they using a verbal component to their casting? Yes, used verbal components. And what about the other? Well, the roar obviously was loud. The roar was an action. So, I mean, it made a sound. I don't think it needed a sound. Well, that doesn't even make sense. And Fly definitely, I believe, has verbal components also. Yes,

it does. Cool. Are they holding weapons? It doesn't look like. it. Red casts silence. Hmm. A 20-foot radius sphere centered directly more or less at my feet is cast. And any creature or object entirely inside the sphere is immune to thunder damage and the creatures are deafened while inside it. Casting a spell that includes any verbal component is impossible. And this silence just engulfs everything. And, and And then Red casts nature's veil as his body shimmers out of existence and becomes invisible. Welcome to the show, Nature's Veil. Hell yeah.

And Doran and Jack, you feel a furry little body squeezed between the two of you. What the-oh. Red, you watch as this cultist's eyes widen in panic searching for you, and he opts not to swing. Red sneaks out invisibly and goes about 30 feet back into the darkness ready to strike on his turn. Doran, it's your turn. Finally, what do you do? Doran unsheathes his axe and runs in, you know, screaming at the top of his lungs, which sounds a lot like this. In the veil of silence. And he's going to attack this guy right in the middle and kind of make also a huge.

huge distraction for these guys to kind of focus on him. So, hi-ah, but you don't hear anything. Yeah, it's like a super silent hya. I love the sound effects now. I'm not going to worry, but I'm not going to worry about it. Silence is the best for an audio podcast.

You're going to see silence coming so much more often now, yeah. Well, this sounds like it would be hard to put a sound effect. The giant crab's back. Well, guess what? It's silent now. The silent giant crab is horrifying. 18 to hit. 18 does hit Oh good

Nice Hey Doing 13 points of damage To the guy in the middle here And then That's going to be the same thing I'm just going to attack again

Oh Critic Whoa Hit What happens next Well I'm going to roll Double my We're going to find out

After these commercial breaks So that's It's, uh, I couldn't, I just rolled really shitty though, a one and a three, so four plus, so eight points of damage. That's not going to do it, Doran, I'm sorry. It's really shitty, actually. You're crits worse than your previous one. Yeah. Huh, huh, uh, what the?

You feel orc splitters handle vibrating with ecstasy in your hands, uh, but you don't hear her screaming because you're in, you're in red silence orb, unfortunately. should I use my action surge should I use it now yeah does a 17 hit it does oh thank goodness another 13 points of damage to the same guy in the middle uh Doren you take him down oh no silently he like screams but you don't see any you don't hear anything so action surge which means I take my my attack I'm doing my attack and I get two attacks so I'm taking two attacks yes oh my god this dice might be going to jail another four a four a four does a 14 will a 14 hit you know what um fuck it i got four luckies here i'm gonna use it again yes that's going to be a

25 to hit yes whoa all right 25 hits doing 11 points of damage now to this okay mofo on the right of me which is not the cult leader just another cultist. Just another cultist. It's still good. It's still good. Doren, you know, off the cuff. So, so smart.

He says, Oh, shit. Oh, my God. And everyone laughs and it sounds like. Yeah. But Orx Splitter's reply is just. It's so filthy. It's just, I can't believe it.

I'm just going to cut off your wet. All this veil of silence, man, it's really ruining our quips here. my job here is done um the silver dragon wormlings turn so the dragon wormling is going to roll against the maelstrom in which it is currently hanging out and that is a 10 that does not save yes nice get your ass towards the center I believe 20 22 damage 22 damage and is dragged off of its feet and is dragged off of its feet and is dragged off of its feet towards the lava upon whence it takes to the air in flight yes the dragon warmling has wings and it uses them to its advantage now as it flies through the steam clouds and rain like a fucking homing missile i find it very rude that all these guys can fly the dragon flies through this clouds of steam, et cetera, and while flying exhales a cone of cold breath at Mari, Jack, and Elister, make a constitution's saving throw everybody.

Jack, what did you get? 15. Yeah, you save, Mari. Also 15. Okay. Hey, look at us going. Elster fails. No.

And as he is cut in half by the radius of the sphere of this silence, you hear half of a muffled scream. As he is entirely frozen to the spot, he falls back on his heels against the stone cavern wall and shatters into people. pieces. Jesus. Oh my God. Whoa. Thank you once again to our wonderful Patreon supporters, Adam Fry, Amanda Kitchner, Amy Gaza,

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